The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/18/10
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Tursday November 18, 2010
Mikey remembers how Sienna’s charm and beauty used to make him nervous at the old station and Jay was in another fender bender making 2 in one week. Woods is not allowed to say “Git”, “Bit”, or “That’s” otherwise he has to dress up as a Harry Potter wizard and LOB immediately starts tempting The Kid. Congrats to Bud Black, NL manager of the year. LOB has a certain laugh she only uses on Mikey’s self-deprecating jokes. Drivers using cell phones are about to get slapped even harder by the police if caught. Mikey embarrasses Rebecca when he pulls out his tube sock of coins at the bank. Woods loses his challenge earlier than expected as he drops two “bits” in after only 40 minutes! A woman working on her hair weaves who wanted her husband to get her some grub called 911 and the hilarious “audio” is played. Oksana and Larry King exchange technical jargon about “eye phones” and Mel’s movies. Captain Buzzkill reacts once again this time to Greek desserts and cancelled radio shows. Jay is never gonna be let down by “Rick Ashley”. Sienna’s recap of taking her dog Zipper to the store and was accosted by the store manager to take the dog outside leads to the day’s big topic about dogs in stores. Jay pulled off the ultimate scam in getting his dog into a restaurant. LOB is against what Sienna did and the debate continues as M1’s call in with their opinions. Senor Beans accuses Mikey and Lauren of not liking dogs. Rebecca and Mikey’s emails to each other about paint get The Kid to step in and intervene on behalf of men everywhere. Woods is not scared of germs and Mikey remembers how Sky used to eat Almond Joys which leads to Woods eating a pecan after it was in Sienna’s mouth. A flu-hampered Luke calls in coughing and hacking while hurling insults and praising Woodsy’s flopping and farting on the couch all day lifestyle. Has the luster worn off the Bromance? Mikey announces that he and Woods want to get Harley’s as their next obsession/hobby and Sienna is worried they’ll end up dead. It seems like a done deal when a Harley rep and M1 Podcast call in, so get ready for wind on Mikey’s scalp! Jamie calls in and drops the hammer and reminds Woods how careless he is with motor vehicles. Ochocinco isn’t ocho-cheapo when it comes to engagement rings. Rebecca calls in after talking with Jamie determined to pull Mikey out of Hog heaven. Olde Time Radio has CBK’s grandpa and radio porno. The couple from the earlier 911 call calls in and argues on air. A woman who feels excluded from Christmas parades leads to talk about people upset with holiday traditions. There’s nothing like a good “F You” on your fast food receipt to sour your shake. Where do the cast members wipe their greasy fingers after stuffing their faces with fries while driving? Mikey is convinced Chapstick is a form of lip crack.
Bumper Music
| 1. In The Clouds by The Cult |  |
| 2. Mess Of Me by Switchfoot | |
| 3. Dear John by Taylor Swift | |
| 4. Huckleberry Crumble by Stone Temple Pilots | |
| 5. Nuthin’ But A G Thang by Dr. Dre | |
| 6. My World Is Empty Without You by Diana Ross & The Supremes | |
| 7. Somebody To Shove by Soul Asylum | |
| 8. Never, Never Gonna Give You Up by Barry White | |
| 9. Battle-axe by Deftones | |
| 10. How Come by D12 | |
| 11. It’s No Good by Depeche Mode | |
| 12. Tighten Up by The Black Keys | |
| 13. Rebel Yell by Billy Idol | |
| 14. Norwegian Wood by The Beatles | |
forbidden word challengehair weave 911 callcollege football paymentsdogs in storesliving room paintmotorcycle safetymidlife crisisautism fundraiserChristmas parade namingOcotillo blood driveBurger King receiptmikey show
M1 Poncho challenged Woods to avoid three favorite words, but Woods blurted out "bit" in under 40 minutes and earned a public Harry Potter wizard punishment. Sienna defended carrying Zipper into a grocery store, while Mike, Lauren O'Brien, callers, and the rest of the crew argued that hygiene, allergies, phobias, and consistent rules outweighed convenience. Mike and Rebecca fought over brown paint, then Mike and Woods fantasized about buying Harleys until Jamie and Rebecca framed the plan as dangerous and possibly part of Mike's midlife crisis. Woods also covered allegations that Cecil Newton sought $180,000 for Cam Newton, and the cast reenacted Sue Ann's chaotic hair-weave 911 call. The show promoted Mikey-thon for Jake's autism program and M1 Linda's Ocotillo blood drive, debated La Jolla's Christmas parade name, and condemned Burger King workers for insulting Francisco Perez on his receipt.
What happened, in order
Woods' forbidden words
M1 Poncho challenged Woods to avoid saying "bit," "get," or "that" until 10 a.m., with a wizard costume waiting if he failed.
The wizard penalty
Woods accidentally said "bit" twice in rapid succession after less than 40 minutes and was sentenced to cast spells in costume at Friars and Frazee.
The weave emergency
The hosts reenacted a 911 call from Sue Ann, who threatened her husband with a butcher knife amid a fight over food and her hair weave.
Cam Newton payment claims
Woods reported that booster Bill Bell said Cecil Newton sought $180,000 for Cam Newton to sign with Mississippi State, raising questions about Auburn.
Zipper in the grocery store
Sienna admitted ignoring a manager's order to remove her dog Zipper, sparking an argument over hygiene, allergies, phobias, and whether small bagged dogs should be exempt.
The brown-paint showdown
Mike and Rebecca debated two dark-brown living-room paints while the rest of the crew mocked Mike's claim that the lighter shade made him uncomfortable and sided with Rebecca.
Harley dreams
Mike and Woods announced that they wanted Harley-Davidson motorcycles, imagined weekend rides up the coast, and brushed aside warnings about their impulsiveness and driving.
Midlife-crisis intervention
Rebecca asked whether Mike's motorcycle plan, facial-hair changes, Taylor Swift fandom, and intense paint opinions meant he was having a midlife crisis.
Mikey-thon for autism
Mike announced that Mikey-thon would raise money for Rady Children's Hospital's Autism Discovery Institute, which had transformed life for his autistic son Jake.
Christmas parade argument
Sienna and the crew argued that La Jolla should keep the name "Christmas parade," while discussing a UCSD professor's view that the name excluded non-Christians.
Blood drive after Ocotillo
M1 Linda promoted a San Diego Harley-Davidson blood drive and bake sale for five people still in critical condition after the Ocotillo motorcycle tragedy.
Insult on a Burger King receipt
The hosts backed the firing of Burger King workers who printed "F-U" twice on Francisco Perez's receipt and rejected the suggestion that a short suspension was enough.
People mentioned
Mike EsparzaWoodsSiennaLauren O'BrienJayM1 PonchoSue AnnCam NewtonCecil NewtonBill BellRebeccaJamieJakeM1 Linda
29,612 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
570-1949 is the number. And flood us now with your phone calls. You can call about anything. You can call about anything that we're talking about, which right out of the bat, we're going to be talking about Bud Black. We're going to be talking about the text that we got yesterday from M1 Poncho about Woods. And we're going to be talking about what famous person's in town today. Harry Potter. And, man, we got a lot of stuff to talk about. So you can call us about any of these things. You can call us and ask us a question. You can call us and give input. Request something. You can do whatever you'd like. So do that now. And you can also text 949mikey at gmail.com if you are the strong, silent type. You know what I mean? Or the guy that just...
you know, likes to run his mouth from behind his computer like M1 Poncho. Yeah. Wait till we tell you. Wait till we tell you. Wait till we tell you what Poncho said. Now, and we'll see. Do you agree or disagree? It's killing me already. So a couple of things for you. Don't forget to try to get the 16th and 17th of December off work because that is Mikeython 2010. You don't try, you do. Yeah. Can I request off? No, you cannot. I already put in LLB. I'm not already going to be here. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, I will be. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 40 years of age. Woodsy is wearing a Deftones t-shirt today, which is different because he always wears a white v-neck. Yeah. So it's different to see him this way. It's good in blue. Spice it up a little bit today. He's our sports guy. And he's wearing shorts and flip-flops. Oh, wow. 40 degrees outside. I have a P coat on. Yeah, you do. Ella B., Lauren O'Brien, she is our assistant producer, 29 years old. To my left is the gorgeous and talented Sienna. Hello. What an intro. I used to be so taken by her appearance. You get a little nervous. He was speechless. He couldn't talk around Sienna.
It was a dork. I dreaded seeing her. I dreaded seeing Sienna. In the hallways? Dreaded it. Dreaded it. Hi, Mike! Hi, Sienna. It was funny. Because I knew that no matter what, after the communication happened, she was going to be like, He's weird. I never thought that. Didn't you? You and Eddie had a completely different approach. Eddie would be like, and he'd wave really fast, and then you would kind of put your head down. I'd be like, hi, Sienna. Hi, Sienna. Are you? How are you? He called me Sierra one time. Hi, Jessica. Sienna. Sienna. Mike, I didn't even know that. Oh, man. It didn't stop until we worked together. It didn't stop until we worked together. Like after the second or third day we worked together, I was like, she's normal. She's just a regular person. Yeah, she's just a regular person. Were you nervous when you called me to fill in for Skye? Yes. You're like, oh gosh. Yes. I was so nervous about it. Holy cow. Jay is our producer. He is 47 years of age, but he looks about 35. Yeah. He looks younger than I do.
Young buck. Yeah, it's called good living. Is it? Yeah. Did you get in an accident yesterday? I did. That was you? Another one? I thought it was. I got rear-ended. Oh, my gosh. That's when it rains, it pours. Holy cow. I don't know what's going on. You know what? It was a white truck. So for a minute, I was like, was that the guy from yesterday? Yeah. For a minute, I thought the same thing. I thought they were going to get in a fight on the side of the road. You know how you pull up to there, and then if the other cars are going across to get on the 163? You've got to yield there. So I stop, and I'm kind of sitting there for a second. This guy just, bam! No! But luckily, it's... I just had to replace my bumper. And he has AIS. Does he really? And so I got a phone call almost immediately. I barely got, you know, 20 feet more. And I got a, hello, this is AIS. You know, we want to make sure you're okay. That's awesome. That's killer. Wow. So, yeah. How great is that? They want to take me and get the truck in the shop and get it worked on today. And they're going to give me a rental car. Nice. Oh, my God. Killer. What a great endorsement for AIS. Yep.
Well, now I have to give the number 1-800-777-4247. And they are standing by right now to talk to you. And that's living proof that, you know, they're great. That's killer. So. they're going to pay for it and everything, right? Was the guy cool? I saw the guy right away come out. It must have all happened in a flash, probably because where you were located, they were on an exit ramp. So the guy, I'm like, is that Jay? Before I could even assess the situation, the guy came out with his little book, and Jay was... Pointing at the dent on his bumper. He asked the question. He said, do you want my insurance? No. His truck was destroyed. The front part of the bumper was like almost laying on the ground. My truck has like a little.
tiny dent in the bumper but you know it's a little tiny dent in the bumper and that kind of bumper they just replace. His two hands were like not so much here or here but right here. The guy's like oh. Was the guy nice though? He was sweet. That's cool. We hugged at the end. He was sweet. We made out. Yeah. They're having lunch today. Why wouldn't you? Yeah. Our phone screener's name is Kraut. Kraut! Okay, so we got a text yesterday from M1 Poncho. I love Poncho. Yeah, M1s are Mikey Show listeners. You guys are part of an exclusive club called M1 Nation. And, you know, we stick together and we're a group, a united group of M1s. And we got a text from M1 Poncho who said, I wonder if Woods could go 15 minutes without saying get, that's, or what was the other one? Get, that's. A bit. And bit. It's a bit. It's a bit. What's up with that bit? You get your own show. What? And so here's what we said. Say whatever you want. We're going to give Woods till the end of the show. Okay? Till 10 a.m. He has to go till 10 a.m. without saying bit, git, or that.
Easy. We need like an alarm for when he does say it. Perfect. You'll say it. I am a professional. You think you really can go? Yes. That's three words. I am a professional. Now, in order for it to be something good for the listeners, because I know Woodsy, he's going to do his best to not do it. Nobody tells a kid what to do. Nobody tells a kid what to do. So it's very possible, if not likely, that we get to 10 o'clock and he doesn't. And so if that happens. I will shave my mustache and beard off. Oh, nice. And I will also, I'll do whatever you have to do. Wow. Okay. Wow, double down. I was just going to say, if he gets through the whole thing, I'll shake his hand. Pat me on the back. High five. How sweet. Now, what does he have to do? Well, what is it? Tomorrow, Potter, tonight? Midnight tonight. Harry Potter. Yeah, Harry Potter. Nerds unite. Tonight, Harry Potter comes out. And so what we're going to do is we're going to have Woods dress up as a wizard. It would have been a really funny deal, but it's not going to happen. Yeah, well, it's going to happen to one of us. Yeah. It's going to happen to one of us. One of you? Well, I'll tell you why, because I don't want the listeners to be like, no, great, he didn't do it.
That was nice. Yeah. That was fun. That was fun. That would have been cool. So one way or another. But what I do think is fun is seeing if M1 Poncho is right about Woodsy. Woods has no expression on his face right now. His face is staring at me. Staring through the back of your skull. Yeah, he's staring through the back of my skull. And he's staring at me in place of Poncho. It's as if I. We're poncho. You are poncho. Yeah. I mean, the shoe fits, pal. If the sombrero fits. If Los Zapatos fit, then. Well. It's kind of like a word of the day for me or a lack thereof. There you go. Yeah. Now, here's the other thing. The word of the day is drumstick. And so when you hear me say the word drumstick. Somebody's got Thanksgiving on the brain. Yeah, you know. The other day was gravy. Well, yeah. It's coming. Next week, Thanksgiving. All right, so the word of the day. He almost said that. Oh, it would have been a great time. Woods says that's because it's the shortened version of that's what she said. Yeah. And so it's going to be torturous. He's a grown-up today.
Yeah, give me torturous for him. For the first time. That's right. I'm one for one. Let's see. M1 Ziggy is on the line from Lemon Grove. What's up, Ziggy? Hey, M1 Poncho can get. Absolutely. That's right. Absolutely. Hey, listen, Ziggy, I'm with you in terms of I really like it when Woods says get, and I really like it when he says that something's a bit. get a little uncomfortable when he says that's what she said, minus the little. But, you know, I do like his bits. I'm glad I can do it. All those words are like vocabulary now. That's right. I got an email yesterday. One of our listeners said that her six-year-old was doing a spelling thing at home, like a worksheet, and spelled the word G-E-T, G-I-T. It's great.
It's just that Woods can't say it all day. I'm nervous for you. I'm nervous. How are you even going to talk today? It's going to be hard. Maybe I'm just real quiet. Don't be quiet. It's going to be hard, but just stick it in there. She's trying to get him to say it. Why would you want him to say it? You say stick it in there. No, I'm saying stick it in there. Stick to it, sort of, but stick it in there. She's trying to make me say that. But nobody ever says stick it in there. Don't they? Don't they? I mean, if you're going to try to get him, it's got to make sense. You can't just be like, yeah, that's somebody's butt. Stick it in there. It's like, stick to it. All right. Well, one of us is going to be wearing a wizard outfit. Mike, you won't even need to borrow a cloak or anything. It's true. You have one in your office. You won't even need a costume. All right, so. Former President Bush is going to be in town today? Yeah. W, right? Yeah. That's nice. Yeah, he's going to be here. He's going to be at the, there's an event at the U.S. Grant Hotel downtown San Diego. It's by invitation only, as I'm sure you can imagine. Lauren just said, I love Bush. Good luck with that, Woods. Every time she does it, he just looks at the ceiling and shakes his head. He's got his face in his hands right now. I know.
So he's here probably for his book. They're not saying it's for the book, Decision Points, which just came out, but I don't know. Isn't it? They say that, quote, he will be sharing his personal experiences behind major events that occurred during his pregnancy. His pregnancy? He was pregnant? Maybe I'm talking about myself. Presidency. She's got baby on the brain. I know. Where is he going to be? At the U.S. Grant downtown. It's a nice hotel. It's gorgeous. That's cool. Is it big? It's huge. It's a big hotel and I don't even know about it. It's a big one. I believe it's the most expensive hotel in San Diego. Probably the oldest. One of the oldest. What's up with Buddy Black? Man, what a close race. Big, big props to Bud Black. He is the National League Manager of the Year. San Diego Padres Manager. 15 game turnaround. Despite the second lowest payroll in the major leagues, man, 90-72 for your hometown Padres, which is just awesome. You know, to not make the playoffs and win manager of the year tells you that you were doing something really, really good. Yeah. And just a great manager, and he knows what and how to get out of his players. That's awesome. Good, good dude. Yeah, and he did. I mean, he took what he had, and he did the absolute best with it. One game, bro. One game short.
570-1949 is our number. And you can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. Long lines are going to be forming here in San Diego for Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Which comes out at midnight. I've never seen a Harry Potter movie. What? Now this is a really big deal. This is the movie that's out today, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. Now this is the final installment. Opens midnight tonight. This is the first half of the seventh and final book. So there's another book. The last movie is coming out in July. Why? Because R.K. Rowling decided that she doesn't like millions. She did, and J.K. did, too. J.K. Rowling. Yeah. What did I say? R.K.? She said that she did, too. The book ends. You can't keep going. Can't you? Well, she could write some prequels. You can do prequels. But that's a lot of pressure. Yeah. Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe has said, like, look, we're done. Like, no more. I can't. I'm done. Her real name's Renee Catherine, by the way. Daniel Radcliffe is going to be working at Chevron soon.
If Harry Potter runs out. Do you know how much money they have? Isn't Harry Potter supposed to be nine or something? I think he gets to the teenage years in the end of the book. He does? He has to. Well, the big theaters to go see the movie are the Edwards Mira Mesa because they have the IMAX theater. And they're only offering it in 2D, but July's last movie is going to be in 3D. He's all grown up in these. He's all grown up in these. Gets girlfriend, whole nine yards. What does 2D mean? I don't get it. Two-dimensional. He's like, I know that. Asked and answered. Do you got to put on glasses or no? No. 2D is what we always go to see. It's regular. Yeah, it's flat. I didn't know that. I thought that all movies were one-dimensional. Huh. What do I know? I don't know anything. We don't know anything. Well, and by the way. Somebody don't let us know. I want to point out that I, unlike Woods, It's not a thing where I think it's nerdy or anything. I've just never been exposed to it. I think it's cool. I've read all the books. You have? Some twice. Everyone I know just about has read all those books. It's really popular. Jay, what is the appeal? It's just interesting. It's just fun to follow along in their lives. I couldn't read any of the Lord of the Rings books. Couldn't read them. No, I couldn't read them. The reason I couldn't read them is because they used all the terminology.
And I didn't know what it was. So I couldn't read it. But then I rented the movie and I put on subtitles. And it changed everything. I suddenly understood it. And not only did I like it, I thought, wow, this is really brilliant. That's how people feel about Harry Potter. Sure. Also, AMC Mission Valley 20, the midnight IMAX shows. It's already sold out. I mean, it's crazy. Oh, yeah, it's been sold out for a long time. Pre-sale tickets. So they have extended the midnight screening. It's not going to be at midnight, but there's a 3 a.m. and a 325 this tomorrow morning as well. Oh, my God. So the hardcore fans, people are going to go to it. I'll be at work already. Yes. Unbelievable. Also, AMC Plaza Bonita, they have a midnight and a 315 a.m. show. Maybe try to see a girl with her clothes off. Maybe that would be a while. How about that? I have. Have you? Mm-hmm. Why can't you do both? I can do both. Harry Potter, or the actor, what's his name? Daniel Radcliffe. He took his clothes off for a play. Yeah. It was a big deal. It's true. I heard it wasn't that big of a deal. It's pretty bold, though, to take your clothes off on stage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't. We all do when we go to the airport. We take our clothes off. We're nude as we're walking through the scanners. They got naked pictures. Hey, every dude that's been through there has basically been in Playgirl. Yeah. Yeah.
It's like the same thing or like a firefighter calendar. Yeah. Yeah. For me. Yeah. It's like a firefighter calendar. You know, L.O.B. reserves a very specific laugh for jokes about me. When you hear her laugh about a joke about me, it has. It has this certain level of true enjoyment and authenticity. Agreed. Enjoyment and authenticity. She really loves it. She said this yesterday off the air. She goes, if you were a stand-up comic and all you did was jokes about yourself, I would go and I would love it. She would die laughing. Yeah, she goes, in fact, I could write for you. But you know what? It doesn't get me from anybody else as much as it does the whole self-deprecating thing. I love self-deprecating. Well, let's see. Authorities are apparently cracking down on all of us drivers that use our phones while we're driving.
Well, yesterday, law enforcement agencies across San Diego said that they're cracking down on people that text and talk on their phone that's not hand-free because they said that cell phones are the number one cause for accidents. How is it that the automotive industry has not caught up with this yet? I don't know. And when will they? I know. When will, you know, when are we going to see a commercial for, you know, the new Scion that's coming out? How much of a draw would that be for young people if it's like, text from your car, hands-free, and they show a kid going, what's up, dude? Send. And the guy's texting from his stereo. OnStar's working on it. They got to. OnStar's working with a Facebook application and everything. But you would think if GM was smart, because they're going back on the market today with their IPO, they would make that standard for all their cars like they do with the whole... iPod. You just said something that I didn't know about. General Motors had pulled themselves off the stock market. Really? Yeah. And now they're putting themselves back on it. $33 a share. Oh, wow. I wonder if we should get in on that. I'm going to buy a share. It's funny because all the guys that had all those shares when it went.
under, they're thinking the same thing. It's like, do I get back in? Because it just killed their future. No kidding, I have two shares of Starbucks. That's a true fact. That's a true story. And it has tripled in value since I bought it. And that's true. So I'm the proud owner of about $94. Very nice. And just so you know, cops... They're saying that your first ticket's $20 for a cell phone violation in the car. Second ticket's $50. And they're like, look, we're not dumb. We see you talking on your phone. And then when you see us, you drop your phone and put it down. Mine was $140. That's what I thought. I'm like, what are you claiming? I don't know, maybe because there's going to be a lot more tickets. They're specifically searching for cell phones crazier than ever now, and they're hiding to see you. I mean, they're making it known it's going to be hard to get away with it now. I saw some things on the, what are those little signs that are on the side of the road that'll let you know about traffic jams and stuff like that? Oh, yeah. They've been loaded up with the hands-free driving lately. Yep. 5701949, M1 Drummer from San Diego. Hey, Mikey, how's it going? Good. Hey.
I understand where you're coming from, where the police officers are coming from. It is dangerous. But I got a ticket. Hello? Yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry. I got a ticket, like what, two years? Yeah. In Lemon Grove. I'm like, man, this really sucks. But I saw the same police officer that gave me a ticket talking on his cell phone. Oh, my gosh. Oh, man. Time and time again. And I want to pull him over like a citizen's arrest. I know. Do as I say, not as I do. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's wrong. You shouldn't. And if he was caught, he should get busted. He shouldn't speed through red lights, make U-turns in the middle of the road. Yeah. Hey, listen, you know, even if it was a true fact that all cops talked on their cell phones, it doesn't make it any less wrong that I'm doing it, you know? I mean, and I do, and I shouldn't. And I rationalize it. You're hands-free, though. I'm hands-free when I talk. Yes. But that doesn't stop me from, you know, opening my phone up and hitting the...
email application because I can see emails without having to open them. I can see the first five lines of an email on my iPhone. Huge temptation. I should not. I should not do that. Yeah, there should be a feature that's like scroll down, reply. Yeah. This is what I would like. I would like head up display. Do you guys know what head up display is? No. It's the same thing they have on jets and BMWs have it too. And what it is is it's a little camera that's mounted in the dashboard and it shines a very bright image up onto your windshield and you can see information on your windshield. Wow. I want head-up display with text and stuff, you know? Isn't that a distraction also? Yeah. That sounds worse. No, because it's transparent. You can see right through it. Yeah, but then you're not focusing on the road. You're focusing on letters. Not at all. In fact, head-up display came. from the military. They use it in aircraft. It's built into their helmets. As they turn their head, they can see all the information in their helmets and they see the planes in front of them. It actually helps. Maybe we should just get you a helmet. Yeah, just a helmet. If it could be a football helmet, though. A driving helmet with a Chargers logo on the side. I would prefer that. Okay, so check this out. Cam Newton's father. Cam Newton's the quarterback for the Auburn Tigers.
You know the story with him. He's in a lot of hot water because they said that he was like, him and his dad were out there basically going to college and saying, we know that my kid is really talented. If you want him to play for your school, it's going to cost you money. Well, yesterday, a guy testified that said that he has knowledge of some text messages with specific amounts that need to be wired. And Woods will tell you about it in Woods on Sports coming up next. Woods is going to tell you about some specifics on Cam Newton's dad. His name is Cecil Newton, and it just got even worse for him. Word of the day is drumstick. When you hear me say the word drumstick between now and 10, it could even happen during a commercial break. Be aware of that. And when you hear me say it, you'll win a Mikey Show t-shirt, you get a pair of sunglasses from Anarchy, and qualify into a drawing for a two-night stay at Aquarius Casino Resort in Laughlin. $50 gift card. That, by the way, that trip, that's worth $500 just in itself. Nice. So that's a very nice prize. And we're going to be drawing for that on Friday, so be listening. Texted Woodsy about this.
went to the bank yesterday, and Rebecca was humiliated by me. My wife was humiliated by me. What'd you do this time? I told you guys that you guys know that I like to buy random things. Yes. And I bought a coin roller. There's nothing wrong with that. You stick coins in it, and then you turn the little handle, and it drops the coins into little paper rollers. So that you can take the paper rollers to the bank. Seen that. Yeah. It's old. But what they don't have is some sort of satchel to carry the paper rolls. So I just put it in a tube sock. Oh, you should have gotten like a shoe box or something. Maybe a bag. Why not? Yeah, a bag. A Ziploc bag.
Maybe a plastic bag from the grocery store. Why in the world did you think of a sock, Mike? Was there one laying around next to you, or did you run upstairs, open the drawer, grab it out? I hope it's clean. First of all, I don't run anywhere. Write that down. Did you sashay up the stairs? No, it was none of the above. I was in my room, and I thought... Sent Rebecca up. No, I was in our bedroom, and I thought, I need something. To put the coins in. Mike, are you just now realizing why did I use a sock? Or did you know why am I using a sock? I still don't think that. She thought it was dumb. We were walking in there and she goes, that's awful, babe. That's so embarrassing. And I go, what am I supposed to use? A bag. A bag. A sack. Shoe box. A shoe box. Your pocket. Your pockets. Yeah. Your hands. A hat. The whole time embarrassed her. And it was embarrassing for me, but what was I going to do? He walks in with, like, a pan. Sitting in a pan, pot. Yeah. What are you doing? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Why? It's a problem. What are you doing? Were those Teddy Grahams just flying? I spilled my Teddy Grahams all over the floor. You can't open a Teddy Grahams thing? It's got plastic around the top, and I was trying to jimmy it open. Edward Scissorhands? There's, like, 30 Teddy Grahams on the floor.
It's like a teddy massacre. Sorry. Little chalk outlines around all the little bodies. You know what? Woods, they don't even put directions on there because they figure you can work that little tub. There are directions. Yeah, there's directions. On how to open it. You know what then, Woods? Follow the directions. I just spilled like 45 teddy grams all over the floor. Why do you do that? Sometimes a kid can do dumb things, pal. Write that down. Sometimes the kid can do dumb things, pal. Yeah, sometimes the kid can do dumb things. We're in the middle of a nice story about Mikey's sock full of quarters. That's right. I was hungry. Yeah. Well, are you going to eat him off the ground? Yes. He's bending over to pick the ball. Are you really? Yes. Those Teddy Grahams are delicious. Why don't you let Chris get you some new Teddy Grahams, buddy? There's a couple of random arms and legs floating around. They're fine. You don't waste Teddy Grahams. You of all people should know that. But you also don't just eat them off the floor. Sure you can. He drank someone's leftover water from when we had listeners in the studio on Friday. You don't have to tell everything. You didn't know that, LLB? It was a random half-drinking water bottle. He's like, who's this from? I said, probably one of the listeners from Friday. He said,
I mean, it's fine. I'll drink it. I did the same thing. There wasn't enough water. There wasn't enough water around here. Listen. I'm not wasteful. I love our M1s. I don't know them all personally and know if they're sick or whatever. I wouldn't drink after any of you. No, I wouldn't drink after any of you. I'd water the plants. We all spit in a cup and Woods drank it. Come on. I'm not a tough guy. You licked a $20 bill? Yeah, I licked a $20 bill, but I'm not buying an old germ bit. It's a bit. Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Damn it! You went 40 minutes. Really less than 40 because by the time you announced it and we got through the intros and everything. I said at the opening of the show this morning, M1 Poncho texted us yesterday and said, Woods can't go 15 minutes without saying the words get, that, or it's a bit. He just said bit twice. Back to back. Rapid fire.
It's a bit. It's a bit. It's a bit mocking. A bit mocking. That was great. I can't do it. I can't do it. That was great. Maybe you worry about what's on your plate, pal, not mine. I want to see if next I want you to get you to say get or that. Yeah. You already lost. Bit is my favorite. I know I lost. Tomorrow you're wearing a wizard outfit. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. I would have. So you have to. You need me in here. No. You know what we're going to do? We're going to have you dress as a wizard and cast spells. On who? Friars and Frisee. Friars and Frisee. That's who. The road. Yeah. The intersection of Friars and Frisee. Ass spells. Ass spells on cars. Can we get a wizard outfit? Oh. Of course. I've already looked into it. Yes! Of course. A wizard. Perfect. What's the wizard? Cast spells on cars is the best visual. We've got to make sure you get a really good wand. Don't. And we'll get some of the Harry Potter lingo, like the spells. Sometimes a kid can do dumb things. Yeah, sometimes a kid can do dumb things back to back. Back to back. Idiot. Put that on a t-shirt. Teddy Grahams, then you say it. You're a mess.
Poor guy. I feel bad for you. We love you. I do. You're all sadistic. No. You're all like Michael Vick. All of you. No, stop. I feel bad for you. Sadist. Tomorrow you're going to be in a wizard outfit on the corner of Friars and Frisee casting spells. Am I? Yes. I think I'm coming down with something. What time is he going to be doing that? 7.30. 7.30. There you go. Prime time. Everyone can drive by and see you. What's more prime time, 7.30 or 8? I'm coming down with something, though. We'll do it 7.30 until 8.00. Yeah, because then the fog will be all gone. Yeah, 7.30 to 8 o'clock. 30 minutes? Yes. Casting spells. And we'll have you on the phone. You can help us. Perfect. We'll cast spells for money. I can't believe I break like that. Yeah. This is what I love, is that there's going to be people driving by. that are M1s that will have honk. But then there's going to be people driving by that aren't M1s and they're just going to be like, what is that? What if the cops come? There's no law against casting spells. Can I panhandle? Can you panhandle? Yeah, make a little extra cash. Can I put a hat down? Maybe get a dollar or two? You're casting spells, bro. Wizards would not stoop so low. You're a wizard. You're a wizard. There's no such thing. Wizards get paid. You're a wizard.
Sienna, what's the deal with the lady that called 911 because her husband would not help her with her weave? Well, okay. This woman, the cops came to this couple's house. This woman, she bought a new weave, all right? So she said that she was tired of the old weaves. She went and found some on sale, $3 a piece, a nearby beauty supply store, went home, started putting them in her hair, and then she said she got hungry. So she asked her husband to go make her some food because she was working really hard. She was working on a weave. Putting the weaves in her hair. And her husband was like, no, I guess she says he was tipsy, and he ended up leaving to go somewhere else. Now, he's claiming that she called the police because he wouldn't help her with her hair. But she's like, what woman would ever want the husband's help with hair? And by the way, just so you know, they have now kissed and made up and they're like totally in love again. They're totally in love again. But she was mad because he laughed in a tipsy way, she says. And she went in the kitchen because she had to make herself her meal on her own.
While doing her hair. Monster. And when the cops came, she had a butcher's knife in her hand. A woman's work is never done, ladies. Yeah, that's right. Let's listen in to the 911 call. 911, what is your emergency? My emergency is that my husband over here, my husband messed up my weave. Your weave? My weave, yeah. I'm going to kill him. What are you talking about, girl? Get the hell out of that bone. Ma'am, you're not going to kill him, first of all. Where are you located? You don't know what I'm going to do. I'm asking you not to kill this gentleman. What is your question? Where are you located? In the kitchen. In the kitchen. Where is your home? What is your question? Who is that back there? That's my husband. And...
He doesn't know how to put in a hair weave. Girl, I don't care if I know a hair weave. I ain't gonna put in no hair weave. Get the hell out of that phone. Yeah, are you there? Yeah, I am. How come the, hey, how come the police ain't here yet? Wow, we're going. He says it's stupid. They ain't gonna call the hair weave. What's your name, girl? They're not gonna come for a hair weave, but you did just threaten him, so I am going to have to send out an officer. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna kill him. You ain't gonna do nothing. I'm gonna burn a turkey this Thanksgiving. That's what you gonna do. I would really advise you, ma'am, to, um, first of all, stop saying that, and second of all, not to kill him. Well, I am gonna kill him, so I gotta keep saying it. You ain't gonna do nothing. You mess up our damn hair weave. I'm gonna go. Just keep talking. Please keep talking to me while we get an officer out there. We're gonna get someone right away. What is your name?
My name? My name is Sue Ann. Do you have a hair weed? No, I don't. Talk to that girl who doesn't have no hair weed. I bet she's a white girl. Are you a white girl? I am Caucasian, yes. Yeah, man, I bet she don't know nothing. Bet you don't know nothing. I gotta go. Okay, well, we offer just to be there. Justin, it's all killing. Wow. That could be what it sounded like. I bet it was just like that. You're going to burn the turkey on Thanksgiving. That's what you're going to do. That's what you're going to do. That was just a cheap shot. Yeah. That was. It hasn't even happened yet. Yeah. Holy cow. He just threw that in there for good measure. She wasn't even asking for it. Amazing. Guy has to say something about her turkey-making abilities. It's not very nice. I'll bet we can do some of this. Find out what's going on in Woods on Sports. Yeah. What's on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Well, I wanted to mention again, we mentioned it in the open. Congratulations to manager Bud Black, San Diego Padres Manager of the Year. Very good. Very, very exciting. A 15-game turnaround for the Padres. Finished at 90-72 in one game. Could have got them in the playoffs, man. Great job, Bud. You did a lot with very little, man. It's true. And here's a story that Mikey talked about before we went to break.
Cam Newton, everybody knows kind of this story, but if you haven't heard, he is probably the best quarterback in the nation right now. He plays for the Auburn Tigers. He's a quarterback. They are undefeated. And the story is that his father was shopping him around, kind of like a free agent. The only thing is you can't do that in college. You can't do it at all. You can't get paid to play. So Mississippi State booster Bill Bell. told ESPN he received a payment plan from Cecil Newton, who is Cam's father, that said $80,000 on the day he signed, $50,000 30 days later, and $50,000 30 days after that. And Kenny Rogers, he worked for an agent. He had sent the text message along with Cecil Newton outlining the payment schedule. The guy's name happens to be Kenny Rogers. Not the country. The gambler. They call him the gambler. But he eventually signed with Auburn. He did not take that money. So now the question is, if he turned down $180,000 from Mississippi State, what did he get from Auburn to play? Oh, man. Just insane. It's a crazy story. So are they going to now investigate? Because they obviously have very damning evidence from
Mississippi State. Yes. But there doesn't seem to be any paper trail to Auburn. Are they now going to investigate Auburn? I would think that they would because Cam eventually did go to Auburn and they did say that Cecil made the call for him to go to Auburn. Cecil said, my boy is playing at Auburn. Yep. Read between the lines. Where there's smoke, there's fire. Six in the hand is worth something. Bird in the hand, whatever. It's absolutely crazy. There's some nervous people over there right now. This guy, Bill Bell, says that he has the phone that contains the text message, but it was damaged by water. He's attempting to retrieve the text through his cell phone provider. Put the cell phone in rice when that happens. Exactly. That's Mikey's bit. Really? Yeah. If your cell phone gets, like, touched by water, immediately put it in rice. Immediately. I've done it. Dry rice. It fixes it. Yeah, dry rice. Wow. Good to know. Soy sauce. Separate the battery and the phone.
That's not what I've done. Just throw it right in there. I separated them. That's good. I already lost. Also last night, the Lakers continued their win streak, 103-90 over the Pistons. Listen to Coach Phil Jackson call out the Pistons. Cut one. It looks like some of their guys aren't playing hard right now, too. In that regard, we were able to get after it. Kobe was full of business tonight. We played adequate defense, the first unit at least. Oh, my. I think Phil Jackson's ever had someone in a chokehold. Oh, yeah. Real good. My goodness. Kobe scored 33 points. Didn't even play in the fourth quarter. Really? Yeah. Guys were ridiculously good. Also tonight, fantasy football folks, set your lineup. There is an NFL game tonight. It is the Dolphins and the Bears. You know, I've got to go with the Bears on this one since Miami will be starting third string quarterback Tyler Thigpen. Chad Henney was the starter. He went down. Chad Pennington was the backup. He hurt his shoulder. He's done for the year. So Tyler Thigpen, who came in last week and played pretty well, is going to be the starter tonight. Here's Chicago Bears coach Lovie Smith on Tyler. Cut two. Tough for a guy that hasn't played, but for a player like Thigpen that has played and played well, I don't think it's that big of a deal. And he can go on how he finished the last game. Came in, played, you know, gave him some good plays. In a tough situation. And finally.
The Buffalo Bills rookie, C.J. Spiller, has apologized. He used a derogatory term towards gays on his Twitter account. You know that people actually read your Twitter, right? Yeah. And you're an NFL. They do? Yeah, they'll actually look at it. And if you say the F word. How is anybody still doing that? Use your head. It's there forever. Everybody can see it. So he was exchanging tweets with his close buddy, Ricky Sapp, who plays for the Eagles. He apologized and he said he was truly sorry. It was out of character before closing with God bless. So he has, you know, got himself in a little trouble. Don't be an idiot. Wow. It's Woods on Sports. There it is. Last night, I don't know if you know, but Oksana, that's, Oksana is... Mel Gibson's baby mama. That's right. And you know that he beat her up. And so she went on TV last night. And was talking about all the different, you know, stuff. All the different things that had to do with it. She was talking about the quality of the recordings with Larry King. First she said she hadn't recorded it. How are they so technically good? They're not that good. They're pretty good. Really? Don't you think? I mean, they're not like Count Basie. What are you, deaf? Can you not hear? Yeah. They're perfect. They're perfect.
I'm not saying that they're the Tommy Dorsey orchestra, but I mean the quality is good. Listen, I don't have one, you know, I got nothing on my telegraph that I can play that sounds that good. There is an application on iPhone called Psychor. There's a what on what? Psychor. Psychor. Psychotic on what? Psychor. I don't know if he's psychotic. You tell me he's psychotic. I'm not psychotic. It's an application on the iPhone. Hang on. Let me talk to my producer. Yeah, it's an application on the iPhone. What is that? It's called the iPhone? Yeah. It's a telephone. Why do they call it iPhone? Well, it's like an eye. It looks like an eye. Yeah, it looks like an eye, Larry. It looks like a human eye. There's something that you can... Finger quotes download does that mean finger quotes? There's something you can download download. I know you know download. Yeah, and a computer Right, right your phone's like a little computer, right and then it'll record. It's called a psych order Really brilliant. You did that I did a demo on the psych order and then this audio
It's better than maybe what you have in, what is that, teletypey, teletub? So Ronald is broad. She's, you know, she's Eastern European. Home machine? No, it's not a machine, it's an iPhone. There's an application called Voice Memos. Watch it. Watch. I bet he does that. I bet he's like, what are you talking about? I use it for a little iPhone. You got this? It's a little iPhone, yes. I just sold a lot of iPhones. That's a pretty good quality. Tell you what. I'm learning all kinds of things today. Apparently there's a phone shaped like a human eye. And it does something called apps. Recording apps. That's brilliant. Why didn't I think of that? Why did you stay with him? That was a mistake. I stayed a little bit too long. But again, I immediately left. But you went back after January. I did. I forgave him. I gave him last chance. He asked me for the last chance. He begged. He cried. He cried on his knees. What am I supposed to do? He buys me things, too, like rubies in baklava. He gave you rubies in baklava? Baklava. A very rare kind, baklava. What kind? He imported from my country, from Brescia. And very delicious, very flaky.
She's talking about her breasts? No. Larry, it's a Greek dessert made with a flaky crust. Hey, listen, I've seen all of them. None of them are a Greek dessert, let me tell you, pal. They're really delicious. It's really delicious. You had her? I haven't had her. I've had baklava. You said she's a sweet dessert. No, I said baklava is a sweet dessert. You're a sick pervert. Sick pervert. It's only when I became pregnant and I felt like he had me, you know? He had complete control over me. He started to show his true self. But in the beginning of our relationship, he did say that there's a dark side of me. I don't want... You said that. Yeah, I don't want to ever see that because it will destroy us. Let me ask you a question. How could you not know that this man was a maniac? I saw a documentary on him where he was driving through the Australian Outback. Oh, my God. And he's deranged. And he's got a gun. And all he's doing is looking for fuel. That's all he... That's a movie. It wasn't a documentary. No. I watched it. Yeah, it's a movie. He's an actor? He was covered in blood. It's a movie. Do you remember when you were a kid, do you remember going to see the silent movies? Yeah. Charlie Chaplin, all the greats. Yeah. They've actually made a lot of advancements in cinema. Yeah. Yeah, so it was a movie. Well, the documentary that I saw on him was on television. It was a motion picture.
On the Hobo Channel. It's HBO. It's not the Hobo Channel. It's Home Broadcasting. Home Broadcasting. Office. It says HBO. Home Box Office. Home Box Office. There you go. It's not called the Hobo Channel? No. It's Home Box Office. There you go. I love it. I saw a documentary on him called The Road Warrior on the Hobo Channel. I thought the same thing I saw. film, a cinema flick called What Women Want. That's a documentary, right? I thought same thing. I thought, oh, this male Gibson will know what I think and he'll know me better than any man ever known. Didn't really work. Wasn't like that though, right? No, he drinks too much. What now? Hi, CBK. M1CBK. I couldn't tell you. You know, in front of thousands of people. Dozens. A couple of dozens. Tens of twenties of people. I have the audacity to talk about desserts. Because baklava. Because baklava. Yes, I love it. I've had it. I had some with Lestat, not too long ago. Liar. You're a liar. I'm not lying. Lestat is from an Anne Rice novel. How would you have lunch? We're friends. We're friends. You're friends with Lestat? The real Lestat.
I can introduce you if you like. Sometimes I have to put the phone away because I feel angry. You're so bitter. I know. I'm not. You are. You're the definition of bitter. Why can't you guys do the show that I want it to be? Well, you don't have to listen. You're so close. Are we? Yes. We are? Why are you on a soapbox about baklava? What do you want? I know. What are you really upset? You're really upset about baklava? Yeah, I am. I think it's a wonderful dessert. Well, so do we. What are you upset about, really? I'm upset that I don't get Jagger and Christy for one. And I'm upset that little Tommy and Jeff and Jerry and all of them are off the race. Don't cry. Don't cry. I'm not crying. Why don't you go back and listen to their old podcast? Yeah. Since you listen to ours every night. So angry. Guy gets upset about the weirdest stuff. He's mad about baklava. Oh.
Woods. He plays it every day. Are you sick of it yet, dude? I am. Nope. I know every day. Woods. I'm obsessed with Taylor Swift. I like that little guitar lick right there. What do you guys think it sounds like when you mash up Nirvana and Rick Astley? Real good. In my opinion, incredible. But you be the judge. We'll do it next. What's it sound like when you mash up Nirvana and Rick Astley? In my opinion, incredible. But you be the judge. We're going to be doing that here in just moments. Our phone number here, if you want to call us, 570-1949. It's new STP. Mikey Thon, 2010, happening December 16th and 17th. Yeah. Make sure you get those days off if you can. All right, so I thought this was pretty interesting.
Mash-ups are when you take two songs and you mash them together, which is different than smushing, okay? Not to be confused with. But it's when you take two songs and you put them together, and they somehow work. This is the best. The best part. Just bang your head to Rick Astley. Yeah. I heard Kurt was a huge Rick Astley fan. Is there anything better than that Rick Astley video, by the way? There's nothing. Is there anything better than the Rick Astley video? Nope. Do you think it's gotten more pub 25 years after it was first created? Absolutely. Absolutely. Because of the Rick Roll. The Rick Roll stuff. The Rick Roll is the dance. And the Obama video. Is that the dance he's doing? Is it called the Rick Roll? When you Rick Roll somebody, what they used to do is they'd send you an email and the subject would be...
This weekend. And you'd open the email and it would be like, never going to let you know. And it would say, you got Rick rolled. And it was a picture of him. It was a video of him dancing. And YouTube did it too where they got everybody. It's like you opened up any video and it was Rick Ashley. And Rick Ashley. And it said, you've been Rick rolled. I can't say it. You cannot say that guy's name. I cannot get it right. So you've been Rick rolled. Jay saw that on American Online. Before he went to Statler Brothers. And got some dinner. Yes. That is 100%. Jay and my dad are the best at that. They're identical. Your tube. Your tube. It's on your tube. Last year when we went to Big Bear, my dad said, how big is the cabinet that we're staying in? And that is a true... Cabinet? I swear that's a true statement. I love that, dude. Him and Jay have something in common. I know. I love that. And I thought, am I going to do that? Will that be me? You just stop caring and it's just like whatever comes out comes out. Jay does it all the time and it makes me laugh so hard. I love it. Does my family as well. It runs in the family. Rick Ashley. Rick Ashley. 5701949 is our number. Yeah, my dad says Statler Brothers instead of Stater Brothers. And now all I say is Statler Brothers. And my wife. Sienna, how about this in her recap?
Yesterday I had to make a quick run to the grocery store. Todd, my husband, stayed home with our new baby Sage, so I decided to take our dog Zipper with me. Yes, I did. She never gets alone time with her mom anymore. Mommy daughter day, as Jamie calls it. She doesn't, yeah. I would normally leave Zipper at home, but since I was only getting one thing, I decided to carry her in there with me. In the grocery store? In the grocery store, yes. The store manager came up to me in the aisle and asked me to, quote, please leave my dog outside, unquote. Really? Exclamation point. Don't high five. Team Sienna. Team Sienna. I was just grabbing one thing and I was holding her and it wasn't like she was running around the store. Yeah. Yeah. I quickly went to the self-checkout. With Zipper in my arms and left. You badass. I did not take Zipper outside. I continued my one item shopping. Good for you. And then I left. You badass. And not only. You think that that's badass? She's a rebel. I think she's a rule breaker. And not only did I. You're like John Tyner. Not only did I not leave when he told me to. But people came up to me and said, what a cute dog. No one cared. No one cared. I would have cared.
I wouldn't have cared. People pet her in my arms. I've got one step beyond you. What? My dog, Blue, we used to go up to, well, wherever we went, I got him a little orange vest to wear. It didn't say anything on it. Why did you get an orange vest? Because people thought he was a service dog. Wait, what? So you can bring it later? Oh, my God. Wait. So you could bring him in stores? I could bring him anywhere I wanted. No one's going to question you. Jay, that cannot be a true story. Did you act blind? Well, that's a whole different story. We were coming back from Texas, okay? And we were on this road trip. The entire family crammed in my little truck and this big, you know, 60-pound dog. My jaw's still open. So it's 113 out in the desert. We go, okay, this is it. We're pulling over at this. We're going to eat. And right on the front door, it says, no dogs. And there's no way. I can't leave him outside. I can't. So what I said to Kim, I said, I'm going to give the image that maybe I have seeing troubles. So I put his leash around his neck in a certain way like it was a bridle, not a brindle. Yesterday, Woods called it a brindle. Sometimes a kid can do dumb things. And then I just kind of walked. I kind of walked slowly and very methodically. I never told anybody that I was having troubles.
What is your family doing while you're doing this, Jay? They're kind of helping me. How about this? This is what I do. I see a sign on the door that says no dogs and I go, well, guess we're going to Wendy's. Go through the drive-thru. We had been in the car for... 17 hours. I mean, we were driving straight through from Texas. Stop at a park. Weird that Jay wouldn't stop before that. It was 113 degrees outside, and we were done. We'd been in the car. There was no park. go to a park at 113. You can't even breathe. I'm not saying go to a park. You need to get some fresh air. No, we wanted to get out of the car. The ground would burn your feet. You wanted to get fresh air in 113 degree weather. We wanted to go into an air conditioned room. Yeah, a restroom. Air conditioned. Big glasses of water spread out. I mean Bear. It was Blue at the time. Blue just laid down on the floor and just real sweet. Oh my gosh. You got an
orange vest. Genius. He wasn't wearing it this day. Genius. But it's brilliant. I mean, if the dog's not doing anything, he's just lying there. What's the big deal? I walked in, I was holding the dog in the grocery store. She's not hurting anyone. She's not hurting anyone, but she could have fleas, she could have poo on her feet. I'm holding her. Poo on her feet. Yeah. She's running around in poo? Do dogs not... Oh, no, mine don't. Do dogs not lick things and step in their own things? Yeah, but I'm holding her. She's not doing anything. Yeah, but people were petting her and then touching produce and stuff. Wash produce? Who knows what they did with their hands before? I'll just say, I don't have any fear that the dog is going to get doo-doo in places. I don't have any fear that the dog is going to get fleas everywhere. I really don't. But at the same time, I'm like... This is a store, man. And by the way, I also want to point out that I wouldn't say anything. I wouldn't say anything. I'm the guy that sees stuff and goes, oh boy, would that? And doesn't say a word. I don't say anything. But I would look at CNN and be like...
You kidding me with a dog? I'm very aware of those looks. And I'm telling you, I didn't get any of those looks. People were like, oh, my God. Zipper's adorable. Somebody thought it. We take Penny in all the time. And it's usually just Penny because she's the oldest and the surliest. So we put her in. She has a bag, a zip-up bag. It looks like a purse. And you zip. I don't carry it, don't I? But we zip it up. And, dude, you know she's been to Benihana with us before and sat by the side of the table and we feasted. No one knew. Nobody had any idea. Here's the thing, though. Because we didn't want to leave her by herself. People are, now here's the thing. I want to preface this. I love dogs. Love them, love them, love them. I just think if you're going to have them in your home, then they should be at your house or go for a walk or go to the dog park or go places where dogs are allowed. In a perfect world. You go to a grocery store. or a restaurant now sometimes at the restaurant I used to work at they could sit outside and that was fine it was open air but people that have allergies and fears and stuff they expect to go to a certain place and not have to deal
There's so much air. The grocery store is wide open. Does it not depend on the size of the dog a little bit? It does. It's so unfair. I don't know. What about a cat, Woods? Is that okay? I wouldn't care if there was a cat. Would you want to get a bunch of grapes and be like, oh, cool, cat hair. Well, I wash my produce. All my produce. Still, if you're allergic to it. Why would there be cat hair? Because you brought your cat in. It flies everywhere. What about a kid? Okay, what about you carry your kid? Okay, hold on. You take your kid to the store, and your kid's hacking up, and he's coughing, and he's screaming, and he's touching produce. You're a jerk if you do that. But it happens all the time. I know it does. Okay, listen, I'm agreeing with you. There's poop flying around. Yeah, you shouldn't take your kid in there if your kid is sick. I agree with you, but at least a grocery store caters to children because they know children are going to be in there. They got the little seat for the kids. I've never been in no store that's like, look, we got the little doggy holder. How about seeing eye dogs? Are those okay? Yes, because it's a service animal. But what if they have fleas? They can have fleas. They're not impervious to fleas. No, they're not, but at least it's a service animal that's performing a service and has a reason to be there. Mine is performing a service. Emotional support. Human beings could have pink eye or lice, and they're cruising around touching things. We are. Cholera. It's not a place for dogs. M1 Liz from Vista. Hi. Hi. There's actually dogs and animals are protected from going into stores. It's called an emotional support.
I believe it's either a federal or state law are you kidding Me. I could have said that to the store manager, but like, oh, really? But you have to show a car. There is a girl, my little sister, she actually came out here for two months to go through therapy because she was afraid of dogs. And she's run into oncoming traffic because her phobia is so strong. So it would really bother me when she went to a place she wasn't expecting to see them and she would take off. She didn't have the rationale to be like, oh, maybe I shouldn't run into the street. But we were on a plane. We were. 30,000 feet above in the air, and this woman took her dog out on the plane, and the dog looked through the back seat at my sister, and she had a panic attack, and they had to put her up in first class, and the girl said, I need this dog for my anger management issues. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Yeah. We are now at a point where we have what M1 Liz says is an emotional support dog.
Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. I want a first-class ticket to Mars because we're now at a point where people have their emotional support. Dogs are sweet, and they help you calm down. I get it. They do. I mean, they bring service animals into nursing homes, into hospitals, into mental health facilities, and it does help calm people and everything. But, I mean, there's a time and place. There's no bigger dog lover in the world than me. I'm not buying that bit one bit. Emotional support dog? No, but. Need it. But, yeah, like you need it. Like we've carried Penny and Lucky and Sonny on a plane before, but we keep them in their bags and we pay for it. We have to pay for it. We keep them in their bags. This girl had her dog on her lap and the flight attendant was like, you can't do that. And she was like, I need to. She was like, I'm sorry. The rules are you can put the dog in the bag, but you can't have it out. See, this is what kills me about it is it's like, hey, listen, I know. that you're really into your dog, but that doesn't mean that everybody is. That's what gets me about it. I agree, but I think when there's little, like, I'm sorry, I would never grocery shop with my dog if I'm getting a bunch of things. I was one thing in, out, I was holding her. You can't leave her in the car.
You cannot leave her in the car. You can't leave her in the car. Then don't take her with you. There has to be, yeah, blanket rules. You can't say, well, I'm just getting one thing. Well, I'm just getting five things. I'm just getting ten things. It has to be like. Do you have a problem if she's in her bag with the zipper on? It's like a purse. There's a little ventilation thing for her. Do you have a problem with that? She looks like a purse in the kid area. It's like a little purse kennel. It's like a purse kennel. And Penny's in her purse. And she's not barking. She's not doing anything. She's in her bag. Yeah. Do you have a problem with that? You don't even know she's there most of the time. You'd have to see her. She's not barking for now, but what happens when they do start barking or go nuts? Well, if they're in a bag, who cares? Peeing, pooping. No, I don't care, but... I'm only saying that because I don't want you to get mad at me. Tell me what you really think. I'm not going to get mad at you. I'm just curious. Because it happens all the time and you won't even know it. Absolutely not. It wouldn't bother me one bit. Do you know that Penny's in the studio right now? Yeah, Penny's here. Right here. Right now. And you wouldn't even know. There were people at Clear Channel.
that would every once in a while you'd walk out in the hallway and a dog would run by. I brought my dog one time. I used to bring my dog. I want to bring my dog. It was awesome. Everyone loved it. People would come in my studio to see her. My dog was giant. Some people were, you know, were still nice people, but they thought, ah, you know, maybe dogs are not here. Maybe Senior Beans comes in tomorrow. Real good. I would love it. It was an infestation of please. Maybe that's not appropriate. Why? Did you hear Jason? At Clear Channel, they had all those fleas on the upper level. Oh, boy. What do you think of that? He doesn't have fleas. We just gave him flea bath yesterday. Still, it's not. I'll bring him in. I'll bring Zip to him. I'll put him right on your lap. You can do your whole show. He'll just curl up on your lap like a little cinnamon roll real sweetly. Go to HR. Go to HR. Go to L-O-N. Cold-hearted. No. I love dogs. It's a sweet dog. It will make us have more fun. I love dogs, too, but there's a time and place. M1JP downtown. What's up? Hey, what's happening? Hey, I just want to agree with you, Mikey. Absolutely no place for them. My other question is, you would never know they were there and all that stuff. Then why bring them, mate? Because you're out. You're doing stuff. They're your family. They're my family. Yeah, my wife will come to my baseball game, have to stop by the store and grab dinner. And instead of driving 25 miles to our house and then back to the store, let's just put Penny in her bag and take her right in. Nobody's any the wiser.
I guess I don't have a problem. I guess I don't have a problem with that. Maybe if we love animals so much, we let them just be out in the wild instead of domesticated. Well, they're domesticated. But they're domesticated. You can't do anything but it now. They love us. I'm just saying that to bother you. Hello? Hello? Hi. Hi, Beans. This was his talk. Everybody, if you don't know, this is my dog, Sonny, but we call him Senior Beans. I don't know why, but that's just what we call him. May I ask you a question? How come Mikey hate me so much? I don't hate you, Senior Beans. Senior Beans, he does. Mikey comes from a time and place. I don't. Mikey comes from a time and place where dogs were treated. Not very great. Yeah. What time and place is that? Yuma, Arizona, 1984. That is true. But I think that what it really was is that I had a dog that I loved very dearly that I lost when I was very young. And I think what happened is maybe it, you know. Desensitized you? Desensitized me. It shut something off. It was so, you know, traumatic. Let me get you a dog for Christmas. Yeah, it's time for you to get another. You know, if I was to be honest with you.
That is not my problem. That's true. You're right about that, Beans. It's not your problem, but I also need to add that I don't dislike you. I think you're wonderful. Do you? I do. I do. I love you. I don't have a problem with you. Do you? I really... I'm being painted here. What if Beansy is being held by Woods in the grocery store? Woods is getting one thing. I think that would be so nice for me. Why not just stay home, Senior Beans? Don't you like your home? Can I ask you a question, Lauren? Yeah. Why do you hate me? I don't. I love you. I'll take you for a walk. We can go to Dog Beach. We can go places that are designated for little doggies like you. Why do you want me to be wearing dynamite? Haven't your mommy and daddy made a nice, comfortable home for you? Yes. Don't you want to stay there with your brothers and sisters? No, I want to be with papi and mama gamey. That's right. That's right. Mama gamey. Mama gamey is so sweet to me. Unlike you, Lord. So mean to me. No. Those places, like, I wouldn't go running around in the dog park and, like, pooping all over the sand. You know, it's just time and place for things. I'm sorry. I can't hear you, Michael. What?
I have to go because I have to put a little bandana at the end of a stick and pack my belongings. You know he is mad. He didn't even ask me for a treat. I know. He was furious. All business. All business. Obviously. So you can call about this if you want to. 570-1949. We'd love to hear your thoughts on it. We got... M1 Jake's teacher on the line wants to weigh in on this. We got M1 Cheeky, M1 Will are all talking about this topic. So call us right now. 570-1949. Is it okay to take your pets into the grocery store, into the restaurant? Is that okay? We'll be back. Well, okay, let's do this. We'll take some calls about the dog thing. And then, because I'll forget, will you guys remind me to call Rebecca or babe, if you're listening, will you call in? But we have to get approval. Go ahead and call Rebecca, Jay. Okay. And ask her if it's okay to discuss the paint on the air. Got it. Just ask her if it's okay to discuss the paint on the air. A little debate. Marital debate. The paint situation. The paint situation. And if it's not okay, fine.
We won't. But if it's okay, I think this is something that every man and woman, every husband and wife can relate to. Absolutely. So we will do that. 570-1949 is our number. What we're talking about is bringing dogs or pets into stores. And we'll be doing that here in just a second. Sienna, what's going on in news? SeaWorld will be debuting a new killer whale show next year. Now, there's a lot of debate behind this because, as we know, one of the trainers at the SeaWorld in Orlando died from the killer whale last year. And they're saying that they're taking all the precautions right now. They're doing training and stuff. But when this new killer whale show debuts, the trainers will not be in the water until they've gone through all the things they need to to know that the trainers will be safe. Also, tonight, you may want to keep your eyes on the sky because there's a Leonid medium. shower. Leonid. Leonid. I mean, who knows? It's Leonid. Sorry if you do Leonid. Don't you study constellations in this bad time. Apparently I do not, no. So tonight keep your eyes up because they say actually between midnight and about 5 a.m. you'll see a lot of meteors. I want to see it. I love stuff like that. What time is it again? Midnight and 5. Yeah, you will be up. There'll be between 15 and 20 meteors per hour. Ooh. Yeah.
Happens once a year. All right, cool. Take some pictures. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, Greg Oden, man, is like the hard luck case of the NBA. This guy was selected first overall in 2007. He had another season-ending knee injury. He is going to be out for the rest of the year. This is the third time he's had a season-ending knee injury. He's going to have microfracture surgery on his left knee, out for the year. Just insane. Just one of the best basketball players in college there ever was. Can't get it right in the NBA. And the New York Yankees have said that, yeah, they want to re-sign Derek Jeter. Why wouldn't they want to re-sign him? But they said, you know what? He's also free to test the free agent market. That's his right to do. Imagine him playing anywhere else than New York. And they're saying, hey, we think he's a great Yankee, and we've been really good to him. He's been good to us. But, you know, we'll see what happens. So they're playing hardball with Jeter, who wants a four-year deal at 36 years old. Would you still have an affection for him if he was a Red Sox? If he was a Rets, you know, I'll always love him. I'll always love him. He's my favorite Yankee of all time, but it would be really tough to root for the guy. I bet. Even if he goes anywhere, it's going to be like, really, you're going to leave New York? You're the toast of the town. Yeah. You know, so he wants a lot of money, and he wants a lot of years, and he's 36 years old, and he's losing a step. Yeah. Tough. They're in a tough, tough spot with him. Yeah. Bringing your dogs to the stores, and then my wife is willing to talk about this. She's on the line. Yes.
So we'll take a call here on bringing dogs into the store first. That's M1 Matty Poo from Claremont. You there? Sure. How are you guys doing this morning? Good, man. What's going on? Nothing much. Long time first time. I just want to say you guys are doing a great job. Keep it up. Thank you, brother. Yeah, you guys touch on a lot of subjects I normally don't call in, but this one really kind of got to me because I got to say, I don't normally agree with Lauren, but... I agree with Lauren and Mikey on this one, man. I think it's pretty egocentric to think that you can bring just your dog. Even though you're getting one item, a couple items, I don't think it matters. I am a really big dog over myself, man, so don't cop out to that. Yeah, didn't that you hate dogs? I didn't cop out. You were saying, like, I hate, you know, you're like, oh, well. Then you must not like dogs. You must not like dogs. It's called sarcasm and satire. I love it. I love it.
If it's one item, you're in, you're out. I mean, I understand if the dog's cruising around in a store or barking or something like that, but if you're holding your dog, your dog isn't a dog bag. It's a lap dog. It's a lap dog. It's tiny. It's got to be one rule. It's not bothering you. It's not bothering anybody. In a 110 degree day, I have one dog. I actually have two dogs. They're both 60 pound pit bulls, but can I carry my pit bull into the store? Are you going to be okay if I carry my pit bull into the store? No, but you can't. You physically cannot do it. I physically can. That's the difference. I was in Target, and I know you say allergies a bit. I think migraines are a bit, but I do have allergies. I take very short-haired breed dogs to live in my house. And it does affect me. I mean, Lauren's right. It does affect me. And stores cater to humans. There's a time and place. And it comes down to common deficiency. If everyone got to do what they want in the world nowadays... It'd be a pretty sad place, you know what I mean? I'm on Team Matty Boo on this one. Me too. I am not. What about the human that you see sneezing and then reaching for the bananas? Not at all. Can I kick him out? Yeah. But he's just as germy. If anybody can just do what they want, what kind of world are we going to live in if I can go in and throw snot all over people's produce? I think you're making my point for me. Both are wrong.
But that's the risk we take. It is society. And there's not enough of that going around, so why add just a little bit more to it? Yeah, my dog's in a bag. It's not hurting anybody. But nobody's allergic to another person. Aren't they? People are legitimately allergic. I'm allergic to M1 Mattypoo. No, you're not. You made a good point. No, you did. And that's why I put mine in a bag. M1 Jake's teacher from Escondido. Hey, guys. How are you? Good. How are you doing? Good. My mom, when she got her... First dog, which they don't have fur, they have hair. Right. So they're hypoallergenic. No, it's not a fake bit, Woods. It's not. It's real. Go ahead. I'm allergic to dogs with fur. What's he saying? Are you? He doesn't believe it. What's he saying? Are you? Don't take it personally. He thinks this with everyone. He thinks it with everybody. My mom, who says she's allergic to dogs, will lay on the couch with all four of my Yorkies on her lap. That's your mom. People have... Yorkshire Terriers have hair, not fur. I know. So she's allergic to dogs that have fur, not hair. Okay. Well, then you'd love mine. It's the dander. It's the dander that sheds all over the house. I'm with you. My mom took...
Oh, no. And so the next time she took him on an airplane, she actually had a doctor's note saying that he was... He was for emotional stability for her. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I'm going to get one. We should get him. Oh, boy. Let's go to the doctor and let's get emotional stability notes. And we can take our babies wherever we are. Yes! They're high-fiving. They're coming in here. I'll get you guys a dog. We'll all get dog vests. We'll just walk over. Unbelievable. You're going to ruin it for the people that actually need service dogs. I need them, L.O.B. I need them. Thank you. perfectly fine the whole time because he was holding it. That's right. Thank you, M1JCG. Woods has a tendency of getting really upset at times, and if he's holding his dog, I think his dog may calm him. Maybe I'll start bringing him to work.
No. I'll bring Lucky to work. He's my boy. Not. 100%. Not. I need him. I'll march down the HR just at a principal. I'll go to the doctor and get a note. The HR can't do anything. It does matter. I have a doctor's note. I can do whatever I want. Maybe they'll say, I guess you can't work here because we've got people allergic to dogs. And how would that be? We're really upsetting a lot of people, I have a feeling. I don't care. I don't care, and I love them. Honey, are you there? Hi, I'm here. Oh, boy. Brace yourselves, people. Brace yourselves. I know. I'm scared. Brace yourself. I was actually just writing your email back. because we were discussing it through email, and I said he likes the darker paint. Well, wait, let's start from the beginning. Let's start from the beginning. First of all, because Rebecca is, in some respects, like Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L.O.B., the first paint, we're talking about our living room, we're painting our living room, The first paint my wife put up was made out of food. Ah, nice. What kind of food? Who knows? Mashed up potatoes and tomatoes. Yeah, you know what it looked like? Turd. It was...
Awful. I said it was a really great idea, and I was willing to try it because if you can find something that has zero toxins, it's all in. It's a vegetable-based paint. But I tried it. And it doesn't work. They've been painting for 150,000 years, and everything's been fine. People have had cancer every year. From paint. So anyway, so she puts this food paint, and it looks... Horrific. And we both agreed, and so we moved on. Yeah, and so we moved on. So yesterday... To some good old-fashioned toxin-filled pain. Yes. Yes. So yesterday... Welcome to America. Yesterday she has two colors that she's narrowed it down to, and she has me go to Sherman Williams and get those little itsy-bitsy little testers so that you can put it on the wall and see which one you like better. What are the colors? They're both brown. One's light brown. One's dark brown. Okay. Not true. One's... There's a difference. Yeah. One's really dark brown and one's pretty dark brown. Okay. All right. Okay. So dark and a little bit lighter. So like espresso and chocolate. They're both dark brown. Yeah. They're both dark brown. Okay. These little details matter, Mike. Yeah. Don't say one's light because both of them are dark. So I will now read you the real email chain between my wife and I. Okay. She writes last night at 10, 18 p.m. Because I was sound asleep. For four hours. Yeah.
And the subject is paint. Okay? Keep it business. She writes, Hun, the new paint is on the wall downstairs. I definitely have a favorite. Already she's leading the witness, okay? Agreed. Already she's leading the witness. I'm just stating fact. Now that it's up, definitely it's clear. I know which one I like. I definitely have a favorite. The new ones, and then she puts in parentheses, the ones we will be choosing from, on parentheses, have a little black X next to them. Let me know what you think. It's because the food paint ones were up. Oh, great. Okay, so now there's four splotches on the wall, and I didn't want him to get confused. I wouldn't because the other one looked like Jake did it with finger paint. So there was no confusing. Just wanted to make sure. She is a good woman. She did not want to leave anything to chance with you, Mikey. She knows you. So I go down there. I turn the light on and I'm looking at these paints and I'm not just making a rash decision. I'm actually looking at them. I'm studying them. I'm looking at them juxtaposed to the furniture, the carpet. I'm actually really evaluating. Taking it all in. Of course you are. Yes. Yes. I'm taking a look at it and I write her back and I say, yeah, babe, I definitely prefer the darker one. In fact.
Wait, wait, listen to this. In fact, the lighter one makes me uncomfortable. Oh, God. You are so serious. You're such a weirdo. Oh, my God. It makes me uncomfortable. Which, I said, which would be terrible for me in there. Rebecca, how is he supposed to watch Apocalypse Now when he's uncomfortable every day? I said the dark. Even if I had liked the really dark one, just. The fact of him writing that, I would be like, no way. We're doing the lighting. Yeah. I said. It's so annoying to me. I mean, it's just ridiculous and over the top. I mean, it's awful. Can I finish my email, please? Before you lead the witnesses even more. You're leading these witnesses. You were leading us before. Okay, fine. Yeah. I said, the darker one looks great on the wall with the cabinet. It's so warm and rich. I love it. Signed, Mike. I put my name at the end of every year. Okay, I have a question. Go ahead. Who did all of the research to even find these two colors? Oh, I'll put that out there right now. Rebecca runs our lives. Okay, Rebecca is the general manager of our life. So if it wasn't for Rebecca even picking those two colors...
There would be no new paint? You'd still have vegetable paint. Exactly. You'd still have vegetable paint. What I did was I went to Rebecca and asked for permission for us to paint the living room. Okay. That's not true. Okay? That's not true. What am I missing? What happened? You asked if we could get a new sofa. That's right. Yes. And I said yes. Yes. And then I said, and we can paint. And you went. Yeah. She's right. You were all excited. I was overjoyed. And then when I went to the paint store and got a bunch of different paint sample cards. Which is a nightmare. Yeah, but I probably got like 10 of them. They were all, you know, sprawled out or whatever. And Mike and I together chose the card that it would come off of, you know? Okay. And then from that. I liked the two, like not the very, very darkest one, but the two right above that. Okay. And he said, well, I really like the dark one. And I said, you know what? So you were involved, Mike. Can I just say, wait, wait, I'm sorry to interrupt. But can I just say, my angel. The love of my life. My love of my life. Dearest love. My dearest love. You're so beautiful. Can I just say that you're beautiful and also say that.
that the lighter one makes you uncomfortable. Hang on. It's so ridiculous. Hang on. And that would be really bad for you. It makes me feel violated. It makes me feel like I've been sexually assaulted. That paint is a rapist on the wall. That's exactly what it is. Disgusting rapist. Hang on. I just want to say, I want to put out there that our house is beautiful, but... All the walls are white. Except for the kitchen that you chose the color. That's the one? Oh, the one. I got to break it down for you. I got to break it down for you. Please do. Man to man, mano y mano. You're not telling me anything. Yes, I am. You're not. First of all, one, you are way too involved in the color of the paint in your house. As a person, as a human being that has a piece. A piece. You are. Way too involved in your sofa. You're way too involved in your sofa. The TV, I get it. The Blu-rays, I get it. Man stuff. Paint, sofas, curtains, carpet. That's all for the females, dude. You just back out and let her do what she wants to do. There's an old saying. He's biting his lip. It's called go with God.
And you just sometimes you got to go with. And in your case, happy wife, happy life. You just let her do what she wants to do. And you know what happens for you? You get to snuggle up on your new couch and you get to watch your DVDs on your badass TV. You may not like the pain around you, but who cares? You're a dude. Did you pick the TV mic? Yes. Rebecca can't spell TV. She doesn't know anything about a TV. She doesn't care. She may think you don't know anything about paint. You can't spell paint. Okay, fine. So I wrote to her. Let me review. Let me review. I said, yeah, babe, I definitely prefer the darker one. In fact, the lighter one makes me uncomfortable, which would be terrible for me in there. Ridiculous. The darker one looks great with the cabinet. It's so warm and rich. I love it. She writes back. She writes back and says, uncomfortable? Of course. She says, the dark one looks black as night. Talk about dramatic. Talk about dramatic. A dark brown is quite dark. I didn't say it looks dark as night. I said it looks black as night. Black at night.
The dark one looks black at night. Yeah, she's probably right. That's scary. I saw it this morning at 4 o'clock in the morning, you know, when the brilliant beams of sunlight were shining through the window. Bro, give up. Back away. Hear me out. We can't. Are you going to pick the linens on Thanksgiving? Yeah, exactly. I said, babe, I thought it looked just like the sample. I think it's beautiful, smooth, warm, cozy, and inviting. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I've seen your taste in paint, and I do not trust it, Mike. Oh, yeah. My office looks like a turd. I picked it. Like Thin Mints. Yeah, it looks like Thin Mints. It looks like mint chocolate chip ice. Brown and light green. And you picked it. It's the worst. I got to go with Rebecca. You have to. You have to. You got your TV. And here's the other thing, bro. You got an office. You got an awesome office in your home. You're killing me. You're lucky to have it. Okay? Women. You are. Beautiful aquarium. You pick the fish. Adam and Eve. I got to pick the fish. Bro, Adam and Eve. Eve said, I want to do it like this. And Adam said, okay, do what you got to do. It started back then, and it's always been that way. Unless Rebecca was married to a homosexual man. Then, in that case, you could get involved in stuff like that.
You can't. You can be involved. Just don't be too overbearing. You want to hear the convo at my house, what it sounds like? Ask me, Sienna. Hey, babe, so I'm thinking we should paint in here. Okay, who's going to do that? We'll hire someone. Okay, cool. Now, what color are you thinking? I'm thinking like a brown or maybe like a cool blue color. Perfect. Do you have a preference? Not at all. Do what you want to do. I love you. Love you, too. See you in the morning. Write me a check. Easy. It's literally that easy. No matter how much you put up a fight, Mike, the woman's going to win. He's going to win. My husband will try to put up a fight sometimes, and I don't back down. And it may turn into a day of a fighting, and then he knows I'll get my way. And then weeks later, he'll say, You know, you were right. You were right. It's a better color. Do you know that we've had pansy blue drapes in our bedroom? Great. You know who wanted them? Your old lady. Let her do what she wants to do. You know, I'm a better color picker than Kim. See? Say you. No, she'll even tell you. She'll even tell you. I don't have better. Mike's office. Exhibit A. Well, I believe that. I don't have better. Who's the best color picker?
Yeah, you're the decorator for sure. Rebecca, your house is so wonderful. Your home is like a ski lodge. You walk in, it's comfy. I know, but Woodsy, you have to admit that a man wants a warm... You got it. You got it in your office. You got everything you need in there. But the brown, how different can it be? It's still the same color. Like, it's a brown. It's brown. It can't be that different. It's going to be very cozy. It's going to be so cozy. It's not like you're getting ice blue. I get it. You want a warm room. You want a comfy room. Yeah, it's going to be lovely. If Rebecca does it, it's going to be good. I can't wait to see it. Oh, hon, you're going to love it. You're going to love it. I love you. Team Rebecca. I love you. I love you, honey. You guys were no help. No, zero help. You were zero. You lost us all when you said, this color makes me uncomfortable. Yeah, that was it. You went way over the top, pal. I played my card. It didn't work. It didn't work. Maybe you sell crazy somewhere else. Yeah, we're all stocked up, pal. Hey, listen. When Luke Skywalker was flying into the Death Star, he had to take the best shot. He had to have one bullet in that chamber. Yep.
I took my best shot. It didn't work. I'm comfortable is what you went with. That's what I thought would work. It didn't work. It didn't work. Woods just took a drumstick that I had been gnawing on and didn't even care. He just tore into it. He's a different kind of hero. It's true. I'm a mouthful of chicken. And you know what? In his defense, he doesn't get sick. Doesn't he? He does so many germy things that his body's just used to it. Maybe it makes you stronger. Maybe I'm Superman. I would never do what you did. No way. I don't really get sick and I'd do the opposite. I don't like germs.
That's the thing. It isn't that I think that it's gross. It's that I'm deathly afraid of the germs. See, for me, it's not so much the germs. It's the grossness. It's like thinking about someone's saliva slathered all over a drumstick and then being like, yeah, let me get some of that. Depends on who it is. Now, the way that L.O.B. just put that reminds me of those commercials. What? Can't get this jar open, and the lady's like, I can't get it open. And I'm like, really? Nobody? Slathers their saliva. Don't you eat somebody else's corn on the cob after they started? Yes. I love corn on the cob. In a heartbeat. Listen, I love my wife like no other. I don't want to eat her corn cob. Really? No. You guys are crazy. Dude, let me tell you something. One time at the old station, Sky said that she loved chocolate, but not almonds. And so she would suck the chocolate off of the almond and her husband would eat the almond. Yeah, do that in a second. No problem. Would you take a bite out of Jamie's cereal? Yeah.
Cereal's a little weird, but I'd still do it. Cereal is so weird. I've chewed Kim's gum. I've chewed Kim's gum. Woods is running out to prove something. Matt's chewed my gum before, too. Oh, no. I know what he's going to do. Suck on it. Ew. Sienna just put a pecan in her mouth and sucked it. And now she's handing it to Woods. Ew. Freak. Oh, my God. Now she's got a plate full of pecans. I will say this. I will say this. It depends on the person. I would do that if it were Sienna. Yeah, I would too. I would do it if it were Lauren. I would do that pecan if it were my wife. Go ahead. I'll do it. Oh, my God. Mike is going to suck it. I know what you're going to say. I don't want to see him do it. I don't even want to see him do it. It's basically like you guys are going to French. That's why I won't do it. No, dude. Put it in your mouth. Put it in your mouth. Let's not do this. Do it. Don't be a Sally. Come on. Do it. Sucking out a pecan is very, like, chalky. I've never done it. It's weird. Now, Mike, he sucked it. I just put it in my mouth. I'm handing it to him out. He ate it. It tastes like enchilada. I can't give you much. I have a little piece of chicken in there. Either girl, I would do it. But Woods, I would not.
put something that's been in Wood's mouth in my mouth. No. No way, dude. How do you reconcile that? How do you reconcile that? Real sweet. How do you make it okay? How do you make it okay? Because I'm not a Sally. I know, but I'm a guy. There's so much bacteria in someone's mouth. My friends get to my dogs. I don't care. Dogs have less bacteria than we do in our mouths. That's terrifying. That's why they should be allowed in the grocery store. That's true. What's terrifying? That dogs have less bacteria in their mouth than humans. They lick themselves. I think they have better agents to clean the bacteria in their saliva. I'm not buying that. It's so gross. How do they know? I think that's a bit for sure. They did a swab test. My son Jake is sick. And now my son Luke is sick. I'm not sick, but I hope I'm not like a host monkey. Is Luke sick? Luke is now sick. Is he really? Aw, little guy. Let's see. 570-1949 is our number if you want to get a hold of us. And let's see, who is this? M1. Alex is on the line. Alex, what was the word of the day? Six. That is correct. You're right. Very well done. Now, is your name Alexandra? Yeah, it is. Yeah. And you go by Alex. That's cute. Oh, thanks. I like that. Me too. Me too. Oh, wow.
Oh, wow, Jay. Why Jay does he say the same thing with so much creepier? I know. He says the same words. The same words. You know what's even better? What? My boyfriend's name's Alex. Really? No way. The Alex's. Alex and Alex. Oh, my God. Everyone does that. Oh, yeah. Alex squared is here. Yeah. Alex times two. Hang on, Alex. Okay. All right. Alex 2.0. I almost said that. You're so stupid. 570-1949 is our phone number if you want to give us a call. Let's see. There's a few things happening that I want to tell you about. One is the Letterman thing. It's pretty funny. And the Burger King thing. That is outrageous. So we got to tell you about that. First, just talking about him right now. My one-year-old son, Luke. My one-year-old son, Luke, is on the line. Ew, what is that? Wow. Luke, you all right? No, you don't. You sound sick. I'm sorry, buddy. I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Sorry, Luke. Little Lukey. Little Lukey is only a year old and quite a mouth on him. Angry. Maybe we just litter. Bacteria than our house does. Listen, we do our best. We spray everything down with that anti-bac... That's because that's a priority. I'm here, like, coughing up a lung.
Well, there's not much we can do, you know. Is there? Yeah. It'll work its way through. Yeah, it works its way through. You're a baby. How about a little Jack Daniels and honey? Really? No. That'll just slow down the progress. You don't even know what Jack Daniels is. Babies aren't supposed to have honey. You know that. No, I didn't know that. Yeah, that's true. More importantly, they're not supposed to have Jack Daniels. I did not know that. Okay, great. All right, Luke. Luke, you sound sick, so. You just take off and leave and go to work when I'm sitting here? Just sick? Well, Luke. I guess the Hungarian bro can probably take care of you. Your nanny. She'll take good care of you. Her name is Nita, and she takes wonderful care of you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Great. Yeah. And you make sure to get to work, though. You know what, though? Luke, listen. Sure. Listen. What would I do if I were to stay there? It's not like I can't do anything. Maybe we cuddle. Maybe you love on me. All right. You have a nanny and a mommy at home and a twin brother. You're acting like a baby. Mommy's worrying about the pain. The nanny is Skyping with her friends and hungover. I am. I am up here in my bed. I'm laying in vomit. Ew. Doesn't make it much different from any other day. Oh, my God. Except this time you're not hungover. Well, I mean, today I'm not hungover, but usually.
That's why the vomit, yeah. I feel like hammered butt. All right, great. Luke, just be positive. Hey, old timer, maybe bring me a Sprite. Okay, great, great. Maybe a ginger ale. I'll bring you a Sprite. I'll bring you a ginger ale. Every time you get off. Every day, every time. Every time he calls, he asks. It's so frustrating. It's so frustrating. What time, what time, what time, what time, what time? Does that sound like I'm in the mood to F around today? No, Luke. Luke. Luke. What? Write this down. Hard T. I get off work at 10. At 10? Yes. Why aren't you ever home by 10.30? Ever. Because I work. I have a job. I'm working to support you. Wood said that you just lay on the love sack in there and don't do anything. A lot of preparation goes into the show. I hope you know, Luke.
fastball by me. I've listened. You're not that prepared. Are we sure this is in the filet fern? Yeah. Hey, listen, Luke. What? Your Uncle Woods lays and farts on the couch all day long. He does. That's true. He's my hero. Five times yesterday. He is my hero. I was asked how many times he did it, and I said three, but I was probably wrong. You're wrong. Who asked you that? A couple silent ones. Who asked you that? My wife asked me that. Your mommy. Maybe you, have you ever heard of what happens at the office stays at the office? Maybe you don't bring your work home with you. Your wife doesn't, your wife and my mom doesn't need to know. My wife is an extension of me. Yep. And I said to my wife, I said, Luke, if you must know, I said, I said to my wife when I got home, I said, babe, I felt really sad today because Woodsy felt like the luster is wearing off on him. that he doesn't mean as much to me anymore. That's what he told me, too. Oh, my gosh, what a bromance. And I said, well, that's simply not true. And he said, really? He said, isn't it? And I said, it isn't true. I said, I just don't like it when you fart so much because I don't want to smell that. Do you ever just get uncomfortable by weird stuff?
I think everyone was a little impressed by Uncle Woods. Does your show ever get affected by stuff? Luke, listen. What? You know what it's like to have a dirty diaper. Yeah. That one right now. That's what it's like sometimes with your uncle. Yeah. With your uncle because sometimes he's like, he needs to go to the potty. Well, he looks like me. He likes the smell of his own fruit. So don't worry about it. Even Woods didn't like it yesterday. It was bad news. I had the same conversation with Todd. I was like, dude, Woods just farts all the time. It was so bad that Lauren had my lotion up to her nose and I had the hand gel up to my nose so that's all we could breathe. And I came home and my husband just farts. I'm like, can I just escape this at once? It wasn't that bad, wasn't it? It was awful. You know it's bad when the person who does it is like, oh gosh, oh gosh. Do you guys like when I say, like, so sad, I go,
Will you please not do that anymore? It makes me want to do it more. I keep thinking it's going to work. He's thinking one day he'll go, all right, sorry. I did yesterday. I said I won't do it anymore. You did? Yeah. Wow. Because I told him, I said, listen, I go, in all honesty, there is no luster wearing off of you at all. The only thing I don't like is smelling that. I don't like it. He said, well, we can't talk about it. He said, I don't like smelling your poop. I said, it's not poop. I said it's the same thing. We said we didn't like smelling the insides of your intestines. It's kind of like the same thing. In your body, it goes over it and comes out. Yes. And that's not fair. That isn't fair. We know way too much about this. That is not fair. I feel that that isn't fair. It won't hurt you. It will hurt me. It will hurt you. It is uncomfortable. You guys eat hard boiled eggs and it smells worse than anything that can come from my body. Not worse than yesterday. I guess I'll pitch a fit. We all ate the same thing yesterday. Letterman found out on live TV that a female guest was not going to appear on his show.
And he got into a full-on conversation with his producer as to why. Oh, no. Like, and he was at, like, why is she, why? Was it on the show or was this hidden audio? On the show. Oh, wow. Happened on the show. Oh, no. And it's great. And we'll play it for you next. D12? Yeah, it's Eminem's project that he did. Why didn't he call it Eminem? Because he did it with a bunch of other dudes. So there's other famous people? D-12 is the name of the group, right? Yeah, it's the name of the group. It's a project. Like, is it a bunch of famous dudes? Not famous, per se. I don't know. What am I, work for Source Magazine? Maybe that Blue and Yellow Purple Pills song? Because what I wonder is, why doesn't it just say Eminem featuring so-and-so? Like, why a whole new group? I think D's for Detroit. Detroit! Detroit!
Eleven other dudes and him. Eleven other dudes? Yeah. I interned at Vibe Magazine for one summer and that's what. Really? No. Oh my God. So gullible. She's beet red right now. She's beet red. Woods knows a lot about music. You don't think that at some point he'd have mentioned that he interned at Vibe Magazine? I was just so enthralled by his story. I'm a pretty enthralling storyteller. You are. Sienna, what's going on in news? Oh, boy. We doing this? Yeah. I told you three times during commercials. 7.30, 8.30 every day. 7.30, 8.30 every day. Monday through Friday, FM 94.9. Sometimes kids can do dumb things, pal. That's Sienna. Damn it!
Okay, well, a couple plans were approved yesterday. The Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, they're going to be rebuilding, and it's a $2 billion rebuilding plan. Well, they're going to make the size bigger. There's going to be three new towers, and the first one's expected to open in 2015, and they're also going to make it earthquake safety, like safe. They have to meet up with all the requirements, so $2 billion going to that. Also, the Horton Plaza is getting a revamping. It was also approved yesterday for an $8.5 million plan to make an earthquake. where the Robinsons department was. And San Diego has been named among the top 10 holiday destinations. Are we surprised? No. Let me get it. No. Bring us your money. Money, money, money. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Oh, there is so much going on in sports. Are you sure you don't want to hear a little more news from Sienna? Why? Because you don't have that sports. I have some sports. For example, if you didn't hear, Bud Black has been named the NL Manager of the Year. Bud Black, congratulations to you. Third time today he said that? Dynamite job. Also, for you fantasy football nerds out there, Tom Brady says he's doing okay. His ankle is fine. He will play. And Matt Schaub has been hospitalized with a bursa sack injury.
Should wear a cup, pal. Bursa sack? No, it's actually in your knee. But I don't think he'll be playing this weekend. The old bursa sack. Yeah, your bursa sack. That sounds scary. Yeah. Kick you right in your bursa sack. Absolutely. Woodsy and I... Wow, I'm about to say it out loud. What? About our conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've said it before. You're in a bromance. Well, this is... You guys pull the hands under the table? No, no, no. We're just rubbing feet. Oh, okay. Putsies. We were talking about how we think that something's kind of badass. Yep. Right? Yep. Why do you guys look so weird right now? What? Because now that I'm going to say it. Harry Potter? No! Harry Potter! It's coming out at midnight tonight. Great. Well, it's funny because he said it and I go, me too, but I have never said it out loud. Ass is chaps. Kind of.
It's in the same vein. No, it's not. It kind of is. Cowboy hats. Cowboy hats. Horses. Gimp outfits. Ball gags. Vests. Horses. Yeah, we decided that we're going to start wearing vests. I don't know if you're acting weird about it. It's weird, and it's not good. It's weird for us. But I want to. I do too. I want to so bad. Woods said that he likes Harleys. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I do too. My brother has one, and it's awesome. They are pretty badass. We want them. We want them. We want them. Wait, I just imagined both of you riding to work. I wouldn't ride to work. Me either. I wouldn't ride to work. Mike on the back? No, we had to have our own. Actually, I'll get one and I'll put him in the sidecar. What would you do if you were driving down the freeway and you see Blitzenbush? He's in a sidecar. With goggles. And a scarf. Oh my gosh. Please do that. I think, you know, I'm 35 and, you know,
I want to be able to ride with the wind in my hair. I can't think of two people who should definitely not get motorcycles. Really? Yeah, I'd be really scared for you guys. Why? Because it's dangerous. You drive like a lunatic. So do you. I know. Who's been in two accidents in four days? That would be Jim. Only one was my fault, though. Exactly. Hey, pot. Hey, it's the kettle. You're black. I have a motorcycle. I would not ride one on the road. You have a motorcycle today? Yeah. It's a dirt. I ride it on the dirt. I grew up on ATVs. I had a motorcycle for six months. I know what I'm doing. I want a Harley Davidson. I do, too. I had a Yamaha Virago that a buddy basically gave me for about six months. I rode it every day. I rode it to work. I've never been on a motorcycle. It scares me. Laid it down, too. Question. You laid it down around the corner. Do you guys ever try to walk before you can crawl? Yes. Do you ever make really big purchases without thinking them through? Yes. Maybe. Do you ever act impulsively? Yes. Yes. But it's part of our charm, L.O.B. Could this be one of those aforementioned times? Yeah, it probably is. But it doesn't change the fact that I think it would be pretty awesome to, like, picture this, man. You wake up on an early Saturday morning, Sunday morning. It's a nice, cloudless day. You just get on the Harley. Woodsy and I just rolling up the one. Different Harleys.
Different Harleys. Rolling up the one. Find some place where I can get a non-alcoholic drink. Yeah. Woodsy can have a shot. You guys right up to Julian's. Just a nice cold beer. A nice cold beer. The way you're telling this and this music in the background kind of makes me want to get off. Yeah. The leather jacket with fringe hanging off. Not me. You guys. I don't want leather. I just want a leather vest, no shirt underneath. I love both of you. You know that. Don't. But no. Don't. I'm envisioning you guys. And I'm holding back the laughs. I'm all in. First the paint, now this. Oh, my gosh. Mike, okay. Imagine you're on your Harley and Rebecca's in the back. Oh, no way. I can't. I want one. Mike, I can picture you on a Harley, actually. You can't picture me on one? Not really. Come on. I picture you more like a crash rocket. Never would I ride one. I would want a Harley. Like a Yamaha or something? I would want this. I picture Mike because you got the goatee and the tattoos. Goatee and the tattoos and the bald head. I have the breasts. I think that was more of a chopper you were on. Me? Yeah. A chopper. It looks fun. I don't want the crazy exhaust because I don't want it real loud. I do. You do? Yeah, I want it loud. That's like an aftermarket modification. You don't want that. I don't want it loud. No. 5701949.
I'm getting to that age where, you know, where Jamie and I are thinking, you know, we have things in process for adoption, and I'll have a kid soon, and, you know, I kind of want to, I'm going to need some space. So there's Wild Ed's? Yeah, I need some space. Where's the car seat going to go? No, we'll still have our cars, but I think Harley would look real good in that motorcycle. In that garage, man. Me too. I'm scared for you guys. They're dangerous. I wouldn't ride on the highway. And I wouldn't ride like a maniac. I wouldn't either. Only on the one, on the PCH? That sounds kind of funny. You know, and here's the thing. My dad has a boat, and we have wave runners back in Dallas, and I am like, I'm kind of a lunatic in a car, I'll admit that, but on the boat and on the wave runners, I'm super careful. I have some fear. of crashing, of wiping out, of crashing the boat. So I'm really careful with that. Why all of a sudden do you want this? I'll tell you why. Because we were driving the other day and one pulled up next to us and I was like, man, those are sweet. And Woods goes, I want one, dude. And I go, you do? And he goes, yeah. And I go, because I love them, man. I go, but I would never, you know. We'd have to do it together.
Yeah. We have to. Like everything else. Otherwise, I wouldn't do it. If nothing else, just for the outfits. So you guys can walk around black leather. Yeah, for sure. Would you get a pink helmet? Really? Just black. Just black. Would you get a pink helmet? To support breast cancer. How about a pink Harley? Breast cancer Harley. Jeremy, our engineer, came in and said, no way to either of these guys get one. Why? Why can't we get one? I'm sorry. He says, Mikey, you're too ADD. Like, you'd lose. You've got to keep your concentration going. No, not on that. He wouldn't. Would you can't turn around and look at things behind you? I wouldn't. Or you'll take your whole bike out. I've ridden a motorcycle for six months. But I've seen how you drive. M1 Andrew from El Cajon. Andrew, are you there? Sir. Go ahead. Hey, Mikey, before you buy one, why don't you consider renting one for a day? Yeah. Well, first I have to learn how to ride a motorcycle. See, I know about you. Oh, you take classes. I don't know how to ride a motorcycle. Well, Harley has this thing called the Rider's Edge course. I'm in. All the way in. My brother Sam looks so awesome on his Harley. Yes, everybody does. Louie Anderson would look cool on a Harley. Absolutely. I feel like that's something that you guys would both...
get and then you would ride for maybe a week and then it would sit in your garage next to your surfboard. I surf though. Yes. The couch. Like a month ago. I surf. I've been surfing 85 times since I moved here. M1 Michelle from Spring Valley. Hey Mikey. Hi. of mind. Yeah, it's a state of mind, you guys. But I'm scared for their lives. You get on the bike, you blow the cobwebs out. That's right. No. God, that sounds good. Doesn't that sound good? I like the idea of Jill Harley. I like it better than the fast motorcycle on the freeway. Yeah, I don't do that. I'm not weaving in and out of traffic on the HOV lane. I'm just not doing that because I'll never be on the HOV lane. We'll ride through the hills. Just talk about the way the dude was dressed, though, that we saw. Yeah, this was the bad part is that when we pulled up, I go, dude, first of all, listen to that thing. And it was da-da-da-da-da-da. And I go, look at that. It was chromed out, black, sharp. Yep. And I looked at the dude's shoes. He had white tennis shoes on. And I don't mean like, hey, I'm just coming back from the gym or a run. White nerd dad tennis shoes. Excuse me, sir.
I assume you're a nurse. I've had a cough for a couple of days, and I was wondering. He had dad jeans on, white socks, and white tennis shoes. That's the thing. And I'm looking at him, I'm going, oh, no. But that's how I picture you woods. Are you out of your mind? Would you play the part? Would you put on, like, you're a tall guy. You know what would be me? You know what I'd have? I'd have DJs on. I wouldn't wear leather pants. I'd have DJs on, my boots that I wear, and a pearl snap. You go down with just jeans on. You're done. Oh, well. I'm not going down. I'm not going over 50 miles an hour. It doesn't matter. I'll go get myself a pair of Levi's, all right? And I'm going to wear a black T-shirt with body armor, a black leather jacket, body armor. Oh, I thought of that. And I will have my, you know, my helmet. And I already have some black docks. You got to be prepared to go down because somebody's going to cut in front. It doesn't matter how fast you're going. Somebody's going to cut you off. I rode a motorcycle. I had a motorcycle. What's, what's, what's, what's. Listen, look at this. M1 Tricia from San Diego. You there? Hey, Mike, you show him here. How you doing? Good. How are you guys doing? Good. Oh, my gosh. I got so excited when you guys both said that you wanted to learn how to ride a Harley. Talk to me. Okay. So I do events over at San Diego Harley Davidson. Yes. New York, Mike.
Yes, New York Mike, and we have a course called the Rider's Edge Program, which M1 Andrews is talking to you about. Right. And it costs a couple hundred dollars to do it. It's like a five-day course, but I can get that waved if you guys want to come down. In. All the way in. In. All the way in. Lauren and I want in, too. In. You guys can all do it, but you can take up to ten people in one class, and it's a five-day course, and you guys will get your license. That way you don't have to deal with the DMV or anything. I'm going to have a Harley by the end of the year. No. 100%. I'm going to have a Harley by the end of the year. You guys, I'm scared for you. If you can buy one, they'll give you one free. I'll have my certification, but I'll never, ever, ever use it again. How many hours a day is the course? It's only a couple hours. You do it after work. You do it from like 5 to 8 or something like that or 5 to 9. And it's only a couple days. 5 to 9. Mikey goes to sleep at 6 p.m. Do they have one that's noon to 2? Yeah. You know what? We can make it, like, you can do it over the weekend. Oh, yeah. I can talk to the instructors and we can work it around the weekend. Let's do it. I'm in. I love it. We have a rental department, too, so you guys can, like, try out.
If you guys want to come down one day, I can hook you up with our rentals department, Garrett. Garrett! Garrett! You didn't know I moonlighted at Harley. Garrett! He can let you guys try all the different types of bikes to see what you guys like. What would you guys do if we walked in there and it was actually our program director, Garrett? And he does. Hey, what are you guys doing here? That's how I rode to work in Philly. I learned that he would love it. He listens to the Mikey Show, too. We all do. Killer. Trisha, I love it. Email Jay. I'm going to put you on hold and have Jay talk to you. Hang on a second, okay? I'm happy. Please be careful. M1 Podcast, which is our friend, Jerry. What's up, dude? Wow, you know, I was just thinking about how I can't wait until Sienna gets back on the air.
Someone had texted me and told me you guys are talking about bikes. That is true. Yeah. See, the reason that he was saying that is because he's always a couple of months behind. He's on July right now. That's right. He's behind what we're actually doing on the air because he's M1 Podcast. He podcasted the show two months behind. Yeah. I'm back. Yeah. But she's back. She's back. So anyway, podcast. Yeah. You've got a pretty awesome motorcycle. Yeah. I got the bargain deal because people... Really don't know, think it's a Harley, but it's really not. But it is loud. I know that L.O.V. doesn't like that. But, you know, I got a loud bike, and it's a cruiser. I highly, highly recommend that. Guys our age, we need to just stick with cruisers. Do not hit a crotch rocket. Yeah, for sure. Oh, yeah, I agree. I want to cruise. I never, ever, ever, ever in my life considered it until you painted that picture, Mike. Yeah. Down the PCH. Yeah. I think I'm in deep trouble. My wife just texted me and said, I'm trying to call in right now and I want to talk. Uh-oh. Yeah, me and you, dude. Wind in my hair, wind on your scalp. Yeah, just the wind blowing through my scalp and just feeling.
That fresh breeze through my chubby skin. And I just look over and say, baby, let's cruise. And I look at you and go, oh, wait. What's second neck? My belly going. My boobs just jiggle. I'd like to see Sienna on a bike, though. Oh, yeah. Wouldn't it be weird if I pull up next to somebody and you see my chi-chis? And was it just motorboating you? Yeah, motorboating. Woods' wife is on the line. Jamie? Hi, guys. Hi. Hi, babe. Hi, dear. Are you crazy? Thank you, Jamie. I'm scared for them. Come on. Come on. Absolutely not. Oh, wow. And the hammer has been dropped. Really? Jamie. You can do this on the air, huh? Jamie White. He knows how I feel about motorcycles. They scare me to death. Me too. No, and you've seen the way he drives. There's no way. Come on. Sometimes a kid can do dumb things. Sometimes a kid can do dumb things, but honey, you've seen me drive the boat, right? I'm very careful and cautious, correct? That was a giant one. Babe, it's true, right? No, okay.
So what about the jet skis when you were driving way too close to the dock and all the people came out and started yelling at you? He just closed his eyes and threw his head back. Gritting his teeth. That never happened. That never happened. Did everyone yell? Wait, Jamie. They're yelling. Jamie, what if this time it was different? It's different. I'm older now, babe. It's not as older. No, no. Come on. She loves you. I can see you pulling up to a red line, looking over at the girl in the car, pulling off. Yeah. Show off. You're show off. Jamie, but picture this. Picture this, though. You know, you're on the back. You've got your arm around his, you know, belly. You're driving up to Julian. You're getting some nice apple pie. Yeah, babe, we go riding through the hills on a Saturday? No. Come on. You made me nervous in the car. I can't even imagine on a motorcycle. So you're basically saying that I am not allowed. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I don't mean to be a party pooper, but there's no. Well, you work on her. I'm sorry.
What if I buy you something that you want? She likes you more. Exactly. That's true. She likes you more. Babe, I'm doing this. I'm doing this thing. I'm doing it. Listen. The girl just called and said we could go do it. It's fine. It won't hurt anybody. Jamie, they give us safety lessons. Yeah, we're under supervision. And you know what? They have training wheels on them. So you can't tip over. It's all good, baby. I don't buy that. It's all good. And you do it in like a land of marshmallows. So if you fall... Yeah, we're going to marshmallow land. We're going to go to marshmallow land. You guys aren't fooling anyone. When you do crash, I can only imagine what you will act like when you have all the strawberries on your legs. I'm going to have to scare you. Jamie, Jamie, hang on a second. I know that this is going to change your mind. I know this will change your mind, okay? We have M1 Andrew from El Cajon on the line. Are you there, Andrew? Yeah. All right, go ahead. Fire her up. I got one thing. Yeah, you hear that? There you go. Sounds like a toilet being plunged. No. Oh, it just made the hair on my arm stand up. Me too. Sounds like. He's got a phone up in his butt. How's that sound? It sounded great. I loved it. Thank you very much. Babe, can we at least, we can talk about it. No. She's softening. No, she's not. We'll talk about it. She just feels bad.
scolding you on the air. Does she? Yeah, you know, you talk about it. Let's not be so quick to just say, hasty, Mike. Maybe if Mike paints his picture again. Paint your picture for her. I really don't think there's anything to talk about. Hang on, Jamie. Just listen to this. One of her favorite songs. You and Woodsy wake up on a Sunday morning. You put on your chopper hat. He puts on his chopper hat. Chopper hat? You throw on your scarves. Leopard print. And you get on that sucker and then you get on the bike and then you guys cruise out onto the one and you're driving up the one and you stop at this beautiful side little area where you take a look at the beautiful ocean. And you get back on that sucker and you keep driving and you finally, you find some place, stop to have a little bite to eat. Maybe a little, maybe a little, little Texas toast, you know, a little, you have a little, uh, uh, uh, Salisbury steak.
You know, I'm trying to think Southern here. Are we eating at a cafeteria in high school? I'm trying to go Southern, all right? She would be on the back of what? Chicken fried steak. Chicken fried steak. You know, and then you guys, maybe a little pecan pie. And then you get back on that sucker and you just let the wind blow through your hair. What do you think, babe? You sold? I think we can do the same thing if we were in a convertible for a day. Yeah. And she won't be behind all his farts the whole time. Won't she? And you know he would do that. I know. For sure. But you're in open air, so it doesn't matter. It's not me. It's the bike. Babe, come on. We can talk about it. Yeah, I think you guys need to talk. What about you? You think you can get that past the old lady? No. No, but I will try. Like everything else, I will try. Let's just do it, man. I will try. Thank you, Jamie. All right. Love you. See you in a little bit. Love you. Bye. She loves you and wants you safe. Now, I don't have anything against motorcycles, but they are scary. For some people, maybe. They're scary. For some people, maybe. Not to us. No, we're badasses. You guys are men. She's an easy rider. That's just like us. Virtually no difference.
If you're Ocho Cinco's girlfriend, how many carats do you think your diamond is going to be worth when he proposes? It was on Twitter. I mean, it's the biggest diamond I've ever heard of. I'll tell you next. Show me what you got, Bill. How you doing? It's the Mikey Show. Hi, Mike. Hello, Mike. So, Sienna would be telling you about the size of the diamond that Ocho Cinco got, but she... Just had a baby and she's pumping. I want to squeeze. It's like a little kid at Christmas. I love you. You love me.
Oh, my gosh. We have a dance party in here. It's awesome. I love that song. My favorite part of the morning. I want it on my iPod. Every day, Sienna has to pump, and we play pumpers, and it's good. It's good fun. She should breastfeed forever. Oh, wow. Agreed. Ochocinco proposed to his girlfriend. Dude. Holy cow. What? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Chad Ochocinco proposed to his girlfriend of four months. Evelyn Lozada on Tuesday with a 10 carat, 10 carat, 10 carat engagement ring. This thing is monstrous. Now this brought here. All right. 10. 10 carats. Can I have a picture of it? Yeah, I'll show you. She's a self-proclaimed entrepreneur personality. According to her website, she was born in Brooklyn, raised in the boogie-down Bronx, and always in a New York state of mind. She used to be engaged to Antoine Walker, who used to play for the Celtics. He's an NBA all-star. And she parlayed that into a spot on Basketball Wives, which was a reality show. So the future Senora Ochocinco tweeted, I'm no rabbit, but 10 carats looks good on me. Let the hating begin. Let's go. Hello, Miss Lady. There it is. Look at that. Wow. That's what she said? Yes.
It's true love, my friend. Let the hating begin. Yeah, it's true love. That'll last. Yeah. They'll make it to the altar. What? That is ginormous. It is huge. I'm no rabbit. I'm no rabbit. The ring, I'm not kidding, takes up the space between her knuckle and her middle knuckle. It's insane. It's giant. It looks almost comical. Ten carats a lot. My wife is on the phone. Oh, boy. Hi, honey. Hi. Hi, honey. Hi. Hi. Yeah, I just got a call from Jamie. Oh. Oh, my God. Tattletail. Tattletail. God. And something along the lines of buying motorcycles or something. God, it sounds awful when she says it. Oh, my God. I know it. I know it. I know it. I know it. I know it. I know it.
So what's the deal? The deal is that you guys need to delete each other's phone numbers. Oh, I highly doubt that's the deal. That's the deal. Yeah, the deal is that you guys call each other and don't need to do that. Right. I don't need to be tattled on. It wasn't my idea, Rebecca. It was my key. That is 100% not true. She's not going to let us hang out anymore. It was my key. Wait, so you are suggesting that you're going to buy a motorcycle? That's so bad. Yes. He needs a little more allowance. Yeah, right? Babe, babe, babe, babe. Hang on. Wait, wait. What if we get a used bike? Yeah. What if we get a used bike and you get to pick the color? Love him. Just love him. I have a legitimate question. This is for real. I know you guys are like, ha, funny. Oh, God. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah? Wait, wait, wait. What, babe? Are you having a midlife crisis? Yeah. Yes. Yes. Like, legitimately. I'm concerned. She's serious. Maybe I am, okay? Because I'll tell you that. Maybe I am. Let's talk about all the things.
We had change in facial hair. Yep. We had growing out hair. Yep. Now we have buying motorcycles. I'm a 40-year-old man. True. And I am having thoughts and feelings that I've never had. Ah, nice try. It's true. I could be going through a midlife crisis because, well, first of all, there's more. I regularly use the word wonderful to describe something. That's true. If we're at dinner now and the server comes and says, how's dinner? I will now say, it's wonderful. Oh, my God. Which makes me feel... Never mock you. Never. And listen, that's the guy I used to laugh at. We are that guy now. We are that guy. I listen to Taylor Swift now. Proudly. You give great importance to the differences in shades of brown paint. Yes. That's true. And when I was a younger lad, I did not do that. I never have done that and probably never will do that. You got five more years to catch up? No, I'm just not into that stuff. You just said lad. Yeah, lad. That's another one. I listen to Taylor Swift now.
have changed from this liberal guy. I'm like conservative now. I think like more conservatively. I'll see cars that usually are reserved for guys that like the golf. Sensible like Cadillac sedans. Yeah. Yeah. Any type of sedan. Sedan. All the way in on. Yeah. I'm all in on. boat-sized cars. Yes, sedan-wise. Lincoln Continental. Yeah, like Lincoln Continental. That's what I would be driving. Well, I have two missed receivers who are throwing up. Uh-oh. Is Jake still throwing up? Uh-huh. No motorcycles. Oh, boy. Just dropped a hammer. Great. We'll bring home some pictures, and you can pick the one you like the best. I'll pass. Whoa. Maybe let's discuss it. The four of us. The four of us, yes. A girl called in and said they're going to give us lessons and rentals. We'll do it real safe, I promise. Babe, is Luke thrown up too? No, but he's really sick. How can you tell? Because he normally seems that way.
No, he's really lethargic. All he wants to do is lay on me. In fact, I'm holding him right now. Yeah, I'm tired. Don't worry about it. So he's not, like, crying? Because normally what he does is he just likes to cry and scream. No, he's whining. Oh. And he wants to cuddle. Maybe fix me something to eat, Mom. He's just laying on me. Oh, poor baby. Honey, can't you hear him? He's talking to you. Feed me. Feed me something. No, because then your tummy will get upset. Oh, my God. Please, somebody, if you're listening, come get me. I'll Facebook you the address. Just come pick me up. Get me out of here. Babe? Yeah? Jake, throw up this morning? He just did. Oh. Oh, my gosh. My heart is breaking. Hey, you hear that, Dad? That surf smiles a lot. Great. So, you know, no motorcycle. All right, babe. That would make my life a lot easier. Oh, boy. All right. Hey, honey. I hate to do this on the air, but I have to. Can you give Jake the little white pill? Yeah. No, I haven't, but I will right now. Okay. Okay. I love you. Bye. Bye. Oh, you didn't get the I love you back. Yeah, you're in doghouse. Me and you. Maybe we can go get a hotel room tonight. I know. Funny, my wife didn't give me a hard time about getting a motorcycle. You already have one. I know. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. She didn't give me a hard time at all. Matter of fact, she went with me to pick it out. Well, you're the motorcycle type. Is he? Jake?
He's outgoing. He's outgoing. Outdoors. Outdoorsy. He's outdoorsy. He's adventurous. If anyone in this room I would pick, it would be you, Mike. Really? Solely based on looks. And stereotypes. Wow. Stereotype. And hardcore stereotyping. Solely based on stereotyping. This has gone well. Listen to the people that love you. You ever walk into a buzzsaw when you walk home, when you walk in your house? Real good. Well, you should be kind of flattered in a way because it's just... Should I? Being told what I can and can't do is so flattering. I understand that's frustrating, but they do it for love. A guy gets up, goes and earns a living every day. 88 comments, by the way, on our Facebook page. I don't mention that enough. If you want to, we have... The Mikey Show has a Facebook page, so you go to... Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. M-I-K-E-Y-S-H-O-W. Oh, my gosh. I just looked at the picture for the first time. Rebecca's color is so much better, right? Duh. Yours is, like, black. You can't have a black wall in your living room? Duh. That's scary. It's not black. It is. I'm going to. Rebecca's is on top, right? I know black, and it's almost black. Duh! Kind of an expert. It's almost black.
Elibi's like, we should go with the darker one. The really, really dark one. The whole walls, all the walls like that, it would freak you out when you saw it. It's too much. They're like a cave. Everybody's voting for hers, man. Well, because it's clearly superior. Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, not even close, dude. I hate you guys. Oh my gosh, and Rebecca off the air. Mike held up a piece of white paper and another piece of white paper and he said, this is what our wall looked like before. This is the color she picked. And it was white. This is a dark brown that she's picking. Michael Esparza. Miguel Esparza. I'm sorry. We love you though, Mike. But we're not going to let you pick paint anymore. Hey, you give her this. Maybe you get the Harley. Yeah, good idea. Yeah, there you go. Bargain. Bargain. I don't think he has to give her this. I think she's taking this. No. I love the Harley. Let her take this, and then we get the Harley. Your privileges are revoked. I guess. If you want to follow any of us on Twitter, we're all on Twitter. You just type in Mikey Show and our name. It's all one word. So it's Mikey Show Mikey, Mikey Show Woods, Mikey Show Sienna, Mikey Show Lauren, Mikey Show Jay.
And follow us on Twitter. We would love it. I'm getting that nauseous feeling again. Don't be nauseous. It's okay. Maybe you have the stomach flow like your kids. I don't know what they have, but I know that this morning I was taking a shower and had to get sick. Oh, no. Really? Really? In the shower? You ate a... pecan out of his mouth. Damn it, dude. You didn't tell me that. I'm fine. Are you? That's disgusting. I hope you brushed your teeth afterwards. I never thought I was going to say that today. You had to eat pecan out of his mouth. Great, dude. I'm starting to feel lightheaded now. Woods, I mean, Mike, you really did. That's a big omission, Mike. Yeah. How could you, like, come into work? I can't remember anything. High-fiving you and stuff. I just remembered. We're, like, all hugging you. In the shower, you did it? Making out before the show started. Yeah, we made out. In the shower. A tiny bit. You go... Not like that. Not like that. Not like that. Not like that. Oh, no. That makes my mouth water. I can't... You know,
Can't get sick. Can't be near you now. Hey, I can't get sick. I'm going to take off a new baby. You guys, I can't get sick. Let's quarantine the host, Mookie. Oh, my God. Bring diseases in the office real good. You guys, I constantly am, I'm constantly doing stuff with, you know, putting stuff on my hands. Can I have some of that antibacterial tea? Yeah, pass it down. Take one down, pass it around. I've got to put some in my mouth. Does anyone have a mask I can wear? Really? Yeah, I need a SARS mask. Oh, wow. Hello, hello, yes. Hello. Hello. Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with your radio. You are simply tuning into old time radio. This is the launching back into time here in San Diego to the days of old time radio back in the 1920s and 30s. Life is different and life is easy. Thousand plus science fiction adventures in the world of tomorrow. The years beyond 2000 AD. 2000 plus. By the way, when they recorded that, that seemed like millions of years into the future. Yeah. The year 2000 was like millions of years. This is our flying car. Yeah, we'd have, we'd fly. We'd be robots right now. We'd be robots. When did it go from robot to robot? The robot killer. The robot killer. It's so abrasive. It's so abrasive.
It's the most abrasive radio. It sounds like that orchestra, that orchestra fail that we've played before. It's just like... Everyone just drops their instruments and you record it. What made it cool to play for three minutes, too, is like... Darling, why is your nose bleeding? I was just listening to the radio. I'm Mr. Samuel Donaldson. No, I'm Mr. Rick. I'm Samuel L. Jackson. Happy Sam, they call me. I have friends who think your television program is very funny. I do not. It's a living. Sounds like a radio show. A lot of comments we get from Captain Buzzkill. Yes. It's his great, great grandfather. It's his great, great grandfather. It is not a mechanical man, Mr. Donaldson. The correct word is robot. Actually, no. The correct word is robot. Even I know that the correct word is robot. How come they get good giveaways? They get to give away a robot. Yeah, I know. We're giving away movie passes. There's a CD. We're giving away a robot and a pair of anarchy sunglasses. And I did it for four and I tried to just check it.
I know, I know. This robot is a supreme achievement of our electronics division. We've worked on it for six years. We'll do whatever it is instructed to do. I simply do not understand how to this... This was Larry King's first... Motorboat robot? It went by Lawrence King back then. ...can think of giving it away to this public, this magnificent mechanism. Oh, look, Professor, this corporation sponsors my TV show. We're on 1,246 stations. Which, by the way, was every station in the world. We're telecast in three-dimensional color. And the Happy Sam Show is the number two favorite in the country. The sponsor thinks it would be a good advertising gimmick to offer a super jackpot prize. So do we. We think that, too. We do the same way. A mechanical man. A robot. I don't ever argue with a sponsor. Now, please, may I see what I've come to see? All right, young man. Fine, I'll take my pants off. It's the radio. What is a little robot? Here's my little robot. Tell him what to do. Fine, come sit on my lap. It's no big deal. You're using AAA batteries. It's a beast on that. There it is. It took me a while to find it, but sure enough. Still don't see anything.
I've got to explain it to you. His electronic controls respond to ultra-high frequency waves which emanate from this microphone box. Speak into the microphone. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? That's, that's, that's. He has an electronic brain. Try for yourself, yeah. Okay. Play this flute while you're asking. Oh my god. Is that a snake? Would you like a popsicle? See, before they had movies and television, they had porn on the radio. Not the same. Not the same. Is that Aaron Neville? It's Aaron Neville. Frankly, I'm insulted by that imitation, Mikey. It really tried to sing.
He's trying to steal my Tom Tom tunes, but... That's the Friday kid. Sweep the floor. Paint the floor. That's what I call a Woody. There it is once again, ladies and gentlemen, transported back in time. It's the world of old-time radio. Look at the black keys. It's a black keys. Guy just shot his TV after he was watching a real popular TV show. What TV show was it? We'll tell you next. So Sienna's going to be telling you what show some dude was watching when he shot his TV. I can guess.
Mikey-thon 2010 is going to happen, ladies and gentlemen, on December 16th and 17th. And all of the money that we raise is going to go to Rady Children's Hospital and their ADI, their Autism Discovery Institute, raising money for what they do over there in their autism department. My son Jake is autistic, and he went through that program, and it was really amazing for him. I mean, that kid has been transformed. by what they did. And so I'm just so stoked about raising some dough for them and getting that thing underway. Okay, so Sienna, what TV show was the guy watching when he shot his TV? Dancing with the Stars. Oh, wow. Of course. But it wasn't necessarily the Dancing with the Stars part that made him shoot his TV. It was the fact that Bristol Palin was dancing on it. Really? She had just finished doing her dance. She was doing Passo Dublé and The Waltz. She did two different dances that night. Right. And he got so upset, he and his wife were both upset about her dancing, that he jumped up.
grabbed his shotgun, loaded it, and fired it at the TV, and it scared his wife so much that she ran off and called 911. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I think that that's a frightening thing to do. Yeah. Yeah, a little over the top. A bit of an overreaction. That's a way overreaction. Maybe he just needed a new TV. That was an overreaction. A little bit. Caused a 15-hour standoff at his home in Wisconsin. Wow. Yeah. What about the... Speaking of overreactions, what about the lady that was getting the hair weave? This woman and her husband were at home and she decided, you know, time to dye her hair and fix up her hair. She was getting some gray. She grabbed some Revlon jet black hair dye and some new hair weaves that were on sale for $3 a piece. What a deal. She got home, started putting the weaves, started getting a little hungry, asked her husband, you know, can you go in the kitchen and get me some food? He didn't want to. She got mad. He left. She grabbed a knife. It was a bad scene. All because he wouldn't help with the weaves. Let's see what the 911 call sounded like. 911, what is your emergency? My emergency is that my husband over here, my husband messed up my weave. Your weave? My weave, yeah. I'm going to kill him.
You don't know what you're talking about, girl. Get that hell out of that bone. Ma'am, you're not going to kill him, first of all. Where are you located? You don't know what I'm going to do. I'm asking you not to kill this gentleman. What is your question? Where are you located? In the kitchen. In the kitchen. Where is your home? What is your question? Who is that back there? That's my husband. He doesn't know how to put in a hair weave. Girl, I don't care about no hair weave. I ain't gonna put in no hair weave. Get the hell out of that phone. Yeah, are you there? Yeah, I am. How come the, hey, how come the police ain't here yet? Because the police ain't here because you're damn hair weave. He says it's stupid. They ain't gonna call the hair weave. What's your name, girl? They're not gonna come for a hair weave, but you did just threaten him, so I am going to have to send out an officer. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna kill him. We ain't gonna do nothing.
I'm going to burn a turkey this Thanksgiving. That's what you're going to do. I would really advise you, ma'am, to, first of all, stop saying that, and second of all, not to kill him. Well, I am going to kill him, so I got to keep saying it. You ain't going to do nothing, you messed up damn hair weave. I'm going to go. Just keep talking. Please keep talking to me while we get an officer out there. We're going to get someone right away. What is your name? My name? My name is Sue Ann. Do you have a hair weave? No, I don't. I bet she's a white girl. You're a white girl. I am Caucasian, yeah. Yeah, man, I bet she don't know nothing. Bet you don't know nothing. I gotta go. Okay, well, we... All right, I'll talk to you. Could be what it sounded like. Yep. We actually have this couple on the line. Oh, nice. In an exclusive interview. Wow. Yeah, we here. Tell them we here. Tell them anything, man. Are you guys there? Yeah, we both here. Is everything okay now? Everything's fine. It's just that I still ain't got my weaves in. You got your weaves because it's ugly. You're ugly as old. Is that how you guys just talk to each other? It's so ugly. Let me tell you something. That man, he just said it. I'll tell you. You're ugly as an old pork chop. Pork chop isn't ugly. You know that.
It's an old pork chop. Oh, an old one. Been sitting out for a few days. Why are you guys married if you can't stand each other? I love him. I could never be without him. Well, yeah. That's how come you've been with everybody. Little hoo-ah. I don't know what you're talking about, boy. I'll come over there and whip your ass. Off that phone, girl. Who you talking to? I'm talking to Maggie. Put your husband on the phone, man. Let's talk to him. Yeah, let's talk to him. Hang on. They want to talk to him. I'll talk to him. Hello. Hey. What? Howdy. Hello. How are you? I'm doing good. What do you want? What do I want? Hey, tell him about my weed. What? What? She's trying to fight for the phone. You guys need to stop fighting for one second. What is one nice thing about your wife? She's beautiful and big. Sounds good. You're beautiful and big. You're so fat. You got your own... You're so fat that one time they were doing a show on the Malcolm X and they thought that's where they were supposed to land.
This is the Mikey Show in San Diego. Uh, yeah. Uh, Nirvana, the Black Keys. You know, our program director is Garrett. He is white. Yeah, but he did spend some time in Detroit and Philly. That is true. It's Garrett. It's LeGarrett. There's LeGarrett. Yeah, LeGarrett. Why'd you tell them there'd been a LeGarrett? There'd been a LeGarrett, my wife. Yeah, there's a LeGarrett Blunt. He plays football. Blunt. He does. He's running back. He's played for, I think, Oregon State. If somebody don't have him, they ought to pick him up. Yeah, that's right. In fantasy football, somebody should pick him up. I think Mikey picked him up. Weird. You should tell Mikey to pick him up. Mikey already picked him up. That's right. Well, listen, me and my wife got to go. Well, y'all got to go watch your soap operas? Got to watch our stories. Stories? Yeah, I thought so. Have fun. Wow. Sounded like a real nice couple. That was an exclusive interview. That was awesome. It's not very often that you get to talk to somebody exclusively like that. Yeah, from a 911 call. That's awesome. Yeah. Well, fresh from their release on iTunes. Wow. There you go, I love that. One of the 15 good Beatles songs. It's the Beatles. So why is everybody so upset about this?
Christmas parade in La Jolla. I'll give you a hint. It's about the name of the parade. Oh, Sienna's mad. All right, Sienna. Why are people upset in La Jolla about the Christmas parade? Because it's called the Christmas parade and not the holiday parade. Is that like not the most frustrating thing? I'm sorry. It's been the Christmas parade. forever, Santa Claus has always been the last guy at the end of the parade. I don't believe in it. It's ridiculous. I don't believe in it. What about Kwanzaa? What about Kwanzaa? Then start a Kwanzaa parade. What about Hanukkah? Start a Hanukkah parade. Why don't we be completely inclusive, though? Let's include everyone. Christmas excludes so many tens of twenties of people.
Out there. That's what this woman says. She is a professor of German and Jewish history, UCSD. She lives in La Jolla, and she says that the parade, the Christmas parade, makes her feel excluded. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Oktoberfest makes me feel excluded. I'm not German. Yeah. You know what, though? You can enjoy it. Exactly. They should just call it fest. Yeah, right? They should just call it fest. Not even in October. I know. Scarlet Fest for everyone. That's right. Best of us. I kind of understand. And you know what else? I can't go to Tyler Perry movies either. I'm not black and it makes me feel excluded. I'm excluded. Yeah. I mean, I kind of. Can't relate. Sorry. I kind of understand the gap and stuff like that. People getting mad at them for having Christmas specials and they want it to be holiday. I kind of get it because everyone chops at the gap. But this is a Christmas parade. It's been a Christmas parade. There's Christmas trees. It's celebrating Christmas. And not everybody has to go. Yes. If you don't like Christmas, then don't celebrate it. Yes. They're not Christmas presents. They're just presents. It's a holiday tree. It's a holiday tree. By one thing, if the state was putting it on, I get the...
separation of church. I would go to a Hanukkah parade. Gladly. If it had been the Hanukkah parade forever, you know, and it's the annual Hanukkah parade, great. I'm Jewish. We don't have parades, idiots. It's always the first Sunday of December. I've never missed one. Well, I mean, okay, so Sienna, devil's advocate. If it's called the holiday parade, is it going to take something away from it for you? No, but it's called. I get it. Dude, I'm on board. That's what it's taking away. And people will continue to call it the Christmas tree. What's in a name? Next, they're going to say, you know, Santa Claus can't be in it. I know. I know. Oh, it's coming. Because it's not fair. It's offensive. It's, you know, the thing is, what's in a name? As long as they don't change it, as long as it's the same as it's always been, they just change the name. If nothing's in a name, then don't change it. I agree with you. Just like Halloween, they want to change it to spring festival. We're going to call it ween. Ween. Ween. Ween. Hallow has a negative connotation. We're going to call it ween. There's nothing hollow about it. Yeah, there's nothing hollow about it. It's just... It's full ween. Ween. It's full. It's not hollow. Full ween. From now on. Yeah, full ween. Full ween. From now on, it's the pumpkin bread. Easter. How about we just get rid of Easter altogether? We just call it stir. Atheist fest. Yeah.
Everyone's allowed to have their holidays and their own holiday celebrations. I don't celebrate holidays. I have no heart. But I want to complain about it. How can I complain if I don't go? Go on to our Facebook fan page or the 949 fan page. There's plenty of outlets for you there. I've already exhausted all of my... Nobody writes me back. It's getting disgusting. I'm disgusted. Maybe write a letter to Mr. Rick. I've done it. Thousands upon thousands. I am so frustrated. I would be, you know. It's so annoying. It sucks. I mean, I know it's just a name. And it's like, whatever, if they do it, it's not that big of a deal. But it's like, do we have to complain about everything? Yeah, we do. Let's not throw our hands up in the air. That's the new bit is, you know, anything you do, anything we do, anything somebody does and they want to put something on or do it, you're gonna offend. Somebody. And you're not even, you know, she's probably not offended, but she goes, oh, look at this. Can make a name for myself. Yes. And you feel excluded. I mean, come on. Let me tell you something. All I know is that I have two sick kids at my house right now. I got this job. I'm trying to run this BeDifferentPack.com.
I got so many things going on. Where do people have time to get upset about the Christmas parade? Honestly, I mean, I don't have time to get upset about a Christmas parade. You don't have time to go to the Christmas parade. I don't have time to go to the Christmas parade. I mean, honestly, listen, knock yourself out. It's your thing, whatever. But I'm like, it's got to take some time. There has to be some time involved in being against it. She was all over the news last night with this Hanukkah holiday parade. And I'm not saying, listen, because I hate the bit, I hate that thing where people go, isn't there more important things that we can, because when you say that, my answer to that always is, well, there always is something more important. But this is what I can say with accuracy, is I can say, There are things that you can pour your heart into and that you can pour your efforts into that will make a sort of charitable contribution to the world. I mean, thousands or hundreds of years from now, do you want to be remembered for changing it to the holiday parade? Or maybe hundreds of years from now, you go,
I got a school formed or something. I got a school going for kids that couldn't afford it. I fed 150 kids on Christmas. Or start a Hanukkah festival. Don't focus on someone being excluded. Just start your own inclusion then. I'm going to start a new tradition. M1 Grace from North Park. Hi. I just wanted to say that I'm not... Christian. I'm actually no, you know, specific religion. And I totally think it should stay the Christmas parade because that's what it's celebrating. I mean, it's celebrating Christmas. And like you said, it has Santa at the end. It's all about Christmas, which happens to be this part of the season. I mean, somebody decided to do this. They chaired it. They got together. They got people together. And they made a parade for Christmas. So why don't others who want to celebrate their religion do the same? It has nothing to do with excluding anybody. All it has to do is with celebrating your own belief, your own Christmas holidays. And it's just a parade. I mean, this isn't even a religious thing, you know. It's not religious. It's fun. They're not excluding anyone. Everyone's welcome, and that's the point. You don't have to believe in Christmas. You don't have to believe in Santa Claus or whatever.
But, you know, it's just a positive, lovely thing that somebody's doing. Bringing the community together. Hey, thank you. Negative people, you know, it's just unbelievable. Thank you, Grace. If anything, I think it's teaching people to celebrate differences. Be like, you know, some people do this, some people do that. People will complain about anything these days, man. The ironic thing to me is that there will be a big hubbub made to change the Christmas. parade to the holiday parade because she views it as a Christian thing. But what about our calendar? I mean... They call it Christmas. Well, no, no, no. That's not even what I meant. It's 2010. You know what 2010 marks? Right. It's been 2010 years since Jesus. Absolutely. I mean, that's what our calendar year is. And it's like, maybe... How come there's no freak out about that? About a calendar. That we should change it. Now that you said that, there probably will be. I'm changing it to the calendar. It's now the calendar. Just the ender. It's the ender. There's no calendar. I'm abolishing years. There's no more years. You know what it is? It's now. Live in the here and the now. You shouldn't matter. We'll call it the Carson years.
Perhaps we'll call it the Conan years. The Conan years. Let's work off of moon phases, okay? The Gleason, back in the Gleason days. The Gleason days. You know what I mean. The Lusier. You know what I mean. I, I, I'm about to say the word I've never said before. Careful. But I yearn, yearn for 1955. I wish I lived in. Erie, Pennsylvania in 1955. Or in Brooklyn, New York. Playing streetball. Playing stickball with my boys. Going to Yankee games. I don't know if I agree with you. Why? Because women have come along. The simple days when you didn't have a cell phone. That's what I meant. I love it. It wasn't that much fun. I want to go back to the days where... Women couldn't vote. They just cooked for me. I miss that simplicity of Norman Rockwell.
You know, the paintings. Yeah, the plague. Jay knows what it was like. Jay was in high school in 55. What was the Inquisition like, Jay? It was rough. Hey, this is a good cause and want to let M1 Linda from Lakeside, and you can call about anything you want at the beginning and end of every show. M1 Linda from Lakeside, what did you want to let everybody know about? Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we're having a blood drive and a bake sale on Saturday, November 20th. at San Diego Harley-Davidson. I lost one of my really close friends in the Ocotillo motorcycle tragedy on Saturday, and there's still five people that are in critical condition that really could use blood. So San Diego Harley-Davidson is allowing us to have a blood drive down there. That's great. Awesome. Yeah, the blood mobile will be there between 8 and 3. If people can't come down on Saturday to donate blood there, they can go to their local blood bank and donate blood in support of the victims still in the hospital.
There's going to be a barbecue and a band between 12 and 2, and one of your good friends, Clint, will be there. Oh, Clint's a good dude. Clint's a great dude. I don't know. Yeah, he'll be there. No, he's a great dude. Absolutely. He's a good friend of mine. Helping out, and there's going to be some baked goods for sale, and we're just hoping to get the community involved to come and support this absolute tragedy that happened. Absolutely. Well, I'm glad you're getting the word out, and I'm glad we can help do that. Yes, thank you very much. You're very welcome. Thank you. Bye-bye. We'll see you. 570-1949 is our number if you want to get a hold of us. This was a crazy story. Some customers at a Burger King in Sacramento have been getting a less-than-polite thank you with their meals. Supporter David Bienick explains several workers have now been fired for leaving less-than-polite messages on the customers' receipts. Francisco Perez, the customer who received the receipt, said again today he did nothing to provoke the workers and that the firings are justified. That just goes to show you don't play around with somebody's business. Customers at the Burger King today were split about whether the worker's punishment fits the crime. Just a little time off. Think about what he did. Probably not fired because I'm sure he's never going to do it again. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?
I really do, because anybody that writes something like that. He doesn't deserve to work here. He was asking for it. Francisco Perez says late today the company called to offer him vouchers for free food. He told the company no thanks that he plans to never eat here again. Wow. And he says he's thinking about filing a lawsuit. A lawsuit. Good luck with that. Of course. And I'm filing a lawsuit. I think the penalty should be that you have to work there. Dude. For another year. Does it trip anybody out that they are considering doing anything but firing a guy that wrote... F-U on a receipt? I mean, that's insane. That makes no sense. That's insane. Can you imagine? What if you owned that business and you found out that the guys that you employed were writing it? I would be mortified. Yeah, and you're going to be like, you know what? Why don't you take a couple days off and think about your actions? You think about what you did, Mike Esparza. It was on there not once, but twice, too, on this guy's receipt. He just wrote, just under the receipt, F-U, F-U. Yeah, they thought it would be funny.
Because they probably usually write thank you or something. So maybe they thought people wouldn't even notice. Yeah, I wonder how long they've been doing it. Because how often do you really look at your receipt? I don't. I never do. No, never. No, I'm too busy stuffing my hand in the bag to eat fries while I'm driving. Everyone is. Getting a salt packet. I'm too busy trying to open a salt packet with one hand. Oh no, I just accidentally bite into a salt packet because I can't stop to just have one at a time. I want to see L.O.B. go to... on some fries. I want to put a trough of fries in front of her. Elleby says she goes like a whole fistful. It's the only way I can eat fries. Oh my gosh. And me and Sienna are the same. One fry at a time. Index and thumb go in. You can grab each. Oh no, I do three or four. If I'm at a table, I can be civilized and dip it in the ketchup and savor it. But in the car, I'm like... Hilary, are you a chomper? I'm not a fistful, but definitely like three or four at a time. Yeah, a bouquet. Especially like In-N-Out fries with all the salt, extra salt. Oh my god. I don't like getting it all over my hand. I'm a giant Hulk of a man and I feel like if I go
More than one fry I'm picking out. Do you know what I do to come back? And look at me. I'm like, oh, this is like, you know. Class. This is classy. That is classy. This is a skinny person eating a fry. Meanwhile, I've got 80,000 fries. That's your technique. Even chips and stuff, though. Everyone has the same technique. Oh, but chips, I think I'm more one at a time. But I do. I get the salt and the grease on my hands. You want to know what I do? Jeans. Jeans. Side of my seat. Just swipe it. I do jeans. I go jeans. I go straight jeans. I don't want it on my jeans because it might stain. You know, when you think about it, I want every person to think about it right now. Listen to this. There is 1% of the listening audience in their car that uses a napkin to wipe their fingers. The rest of you pigs. And I'm talking about me and us, American society. You know, we have our technique. None of it involves a napkin. Most of us, either on our pants or on our shirt, fine, Hillary. You're the 1%. You're the 1%.
In the car? But I'm weird about napkins. I have to have a napkin with everything I eat. Do you put it in your lap? No, here's what I do. I tuck it right under my right thigh. I've done that. And it sticks out a little bit. It's not going anywhere. But I'm like free. I have like a weird thing about napkins. I can't eat any. I feel the same way. You guys don't lick your fingers clean? Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Lick them and then wipe. Lick them and then wipe. Lick them and then wipe. Lick and then wipe. Then it'll be on the steering wheel. I don't know. I lick what? This conversation. by the way, is cousins with the conversation of, for whatever reason in my brain, the chapstick. Are you a chapstick user at all, Hillary? Yeah, sure. You use chapstick? My wife, I believe that there's crack in chapstick or something. Lip gloss or whatever, yeah. Because she's addicted. Oh, yeah. It's like eye drops. Eye drops are the same thing. And I said, okay, I said, just tell me. what would happen, would your lips hurt real bad? I go, what would happen if you didn't use the chapstick? And she goes, like, this look on her face, like, oh my gosh, oh my God. And she goes, it would be like a desert on my lips. Yeah, it would dry up real quick. I have them everywhere. In all my purses, in all my drawers, next to my bed, everywhere I go. In the car. In the car, I have numerous. I'm off. I'm off chapstick now.
It's been a while. I actually had to take methadone. It's been a while. She said, she goes, don't ever start it. I use it when they're chapped and then I can stop. No, I get the Burt's B's and I'm like. I got some Burt's B's because of the microphone. So I don't wear lipstick usually like in the mornings. I'll put on a little bit, but when it comes off, I leave it off because I'm talking into the microphone. How close do you get to the microphone? Pretty close there. to M1 Sammy from San Diego. What do you do when you eat fries? Good. Well, what I do is I wear a latex glove and I just dip into it in fries just like L-O-B. Kind of a brilliant idea. A latex glove? Kind of a brilliant idea. A latex glove. No, it tastes like rubber. I have my little box of latex gloves and I only use one every time I go. Wow. I would do it. You are hardcore. Because you're a serial killer. I would do it. He has some experience in this field. That's genius. But does it taste like rubber? Yeah, just latex.
Yeah, great. Latex fries. Delicious. There you go. This is a geezer bandit. What about a glove made out of a napkin? Yeah. That'd be good. A napkin glove. Oh, my God. It's brilliant. It just blew my mind. Yeah, but you would probably bite off pieces of the napkin on accident. Pardon me. Can I get ... I need an extra napkin glove. I need two. I need two. That's brilliant. Let me skeeve you out. I'll skeeve you out. Have you guys ever bitten into a hamburger and bit a piece of the paper that it's wrapped in? Doesn't bother me. I'll take it down. Especially if it's foily. It's got that foily. But if I'm really hungry, whatever. I'll just eat through the paper. Ice cream cone, too. Oh, sure. I wonder if I could put down a McDonald's cheeseburger wrapped in paper, paper included. I think I could. Doesn't bother me. Are you serious? They smell a bit. Yeah. I think I could do it. You could? Yeah. I think I don't think it'd be a problem. Excuse me. Somebody bring me a cheeseburger tomorrow. We'll get it. When I'm on the corner of Friars and Frisee tomorrow, casting spells. Just as a wizard. Somebody bring me a cheeseburger. from McDonald's. I'll do it. Tomorrow morning at 7.30, Woods will be on the corner of Friars and Frazee in a wizard outfit because Harry Potter's coming out casting spells. With pickles in his beard. It's going to be great. I'll be casting spells. Hillary, what do you got coming up here? So good. I grabbed Black Crows, Black Keys, Interpol's new one, new music from film school, and we're going to start with some Dead Kennedys. Yeah, the Black Crows and the Black Keys. That's great. L-O-B. I was in the B section. Lovely and talented Hillary's up next.
The Mikey Show will be back tomorrow morning at 6. We're out late.