The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/22/10

0:19Doing everything on the fly. That's all right. I like it. You're doing everything on your fly? Yeah, it awakens the nerves. Welcome to the program, everybody. It's the Mikey Show. We are broadcasting live from the metropolis of Mission Valley. Beautiful downtown, Mission Valley. Yeah. I bet it's going to be nice weather today after the rain soaked weekend. It's clear driving in. Yeah. Clear skies. Yeah, it's a full moon. Yeah, it is. I don't like full moons. No? No. You creep me out. The vampires. Blah. Blah. Jay is working on getting our computer screens working, which I need. Yeah. I got to have the computer screens in order to do everything. So he's working on it. We should have it here momentarily. In the meantime, you can call in and say hello. Our number is...

1:20570-1949. And at the beginning and end of every show, we do open phones. So you can call about anything. You can say hi. You can ask questions. You can talk about whatever's on your mind, whatever's happening in the news. Hey, Mikey, did you hear about this? Did you hear about that? That kind of deal. It's completely up to you. And you can also text, if you're shy, 949mikey at gmail.com. Word of the day today is cube. Not sure why. As in ice? I'm not sure why. All right. It just came to me. It just came to you? Yeah. It works for me. All right. So the word of the day is cube. And when I say that word sometime between now and 10, you'll get a pair of tickets to see Interpol at Remac. Wow. And you'll also get a brand new Mikey Show t-shirt and a pair of Anarchy sunglasses. Solid. And twice last week, the word of the day happened during a commercial break. You never know. You never know. Could happen at any time. Mikeython 2010 is set to go. It's going to happen on December 16th and 17th. Really soon. 28 straight hours of broadcasting. And you got no commercials during that time. It's just us. And it's really great. And we will have auctions going on for that thing. The reason that we do it is to raise money for Rady Children's Hospital and their ADI.

2:48the Autism Discovery Institute that they have. And so it's going to be pretty cool. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40. Woodsy's 35. He's our sports guy. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as LOB, is our assistant producer. Sienna is our news girl. Jay is our producer. And our phone screener today is Will. It's Will. It's Will. And you are M1. It's part of M1 Nation. When you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. We're going to be talking about the guy that got naked in front of the TSA or stripped down or something. Chargers, Harry Potter, a bunch of sex offenders arrested this weekend. M1 John from National City. For the past two weeks, took a little vacation, spent some time with my kids, didn't go anywhere, just stayed here in San Diego. Kind of slept in most of the time, so I wasn't able to hear full shows during the week. So I'm going back to work this morning, and I'm just glad to be back and listening to you guys early in the morning and catching a full show. Nice. It's called a staycation. Yeah, you had a staycation. That's cool. Well, right on, bro. Are you guys going to be on, like, all week? Well, we're off for Thanksgiving, and we're off the day after Thanksgiving. Okay, me and my girlfriend, we work at the same time, so we're going to work right now. We just wanted to figure out you guys' situation and make sure we catch the whole show and whatever. We're probably the only show in San Diego that's going to be working today, tomorrow, and Wednesday.

4:16You guys are the greatest. That's why. Thank you. Thank you very much. Keep calling in, pal. Yeah, every morning. Appreciate you. Let's see. M1 Billy from Vista. What's up? Mikey. What's going on? Nothing. I just realized that all this rain this weekend that I have this huge crush on Lauren. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. What? I was sitting around. I was like, L.O.B. was here with me right now. Wow. Oh, my gosh. Wow. So you're sitting in. Maybe you got a little fireplace going. I have my wood burning stove going and I was listening to some jazz and drinking a glass of red. Yeah, glass of red. Romantic. Maybe a little Merlot or something. You're sitting there and you have your feet up on the coffee table, white socks, legs crossed. You're enjoying that wine and you just kind of are staring longingly into that fire and you're thinking to yourself, I wish Lauren was here right now.

5:14I was actually reading Chicken Soup for the Soul. Yeah, that's great. Chicken Soup for the Soul. And at one point... Culture man. At one point, you put the book down on your lap and you just said, where's L.O.B.? When you need her. When you need her. Where's my L.O.B.? Where's my L.O.B.? I was cuddled up real sweetly with my Lella Babes blanket. There you go. Yeah, and her BFMC. Her boyfriend, Matt Commerce. Her boyfriend, Matt Commerce. Did you know, by the way... About that development, M1 Billy, did you know that Lauren is in fact back together with her boyfriend, Matt Commerce, her BFMC? It's like in Top Gun, man. There's hearts breaking all over the city tonight. That's right. That's what moms are for. That's what LOBs are for, too. Yeah. How tall are you, LOB? I'm going snowboarding right now. I'm on the 15. We're going to have a blast, Mikey. Where are you going? We're just going up to Bear for the day. Just hit up some early cross track. There you go, bro. I heard they got like four to six inches up there. We'll see you. Bye, Billy boy. Oh, Billy. How tall are you, LOB? 5'8". For those of you that don't know, LOB, she's 5'8". She's slender. She's got blonde hair. What color eyes? Blue. Blue eyes.

6:41And, you know, she's a good-looking girl. Yeah, she is. And, you know, not everybody can have her. BFMC. BFMC has her. Oh, wow. Doesn't he? He does. He does. He does. Let's see. Now, what did we do, Jay? Did we move everything around to where all my... No? It's still not working. It's still not working? Wow. i'm gonna have to go run commercials from the other studio are you serious wow coming in you should see what my computer's doing oh no commercials at 100 miles an hour oh no what the heck so i'm gonna go to the other studio and i'll listen in from over there and when you guys i'll just kind of talk to you over the cue speaker i guess i can talk to you on the air too i'll just open the mic up and they're coming into I don't know. It's the full moon. It's got everything all through. I probably shouldn't have had that party in here this week. Yeah, you probably shouldn't have. I knew they were going to mess with something. Darn it. Spilled wine cooler all over the board. Bartles and James everywhere. Oh, wow. Sorry. Well, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Okay, so let's talk about the dude that stripped down in front of the TSA. Yes, he is an open carry gun crusader. Wait, wait, wait.

7:55Is that his own title? It's a San Diego Open Carry Gun Crusader, Sam Wolinik. I wonder if he made up that title for himself. I don't know. They say he took time off from packing heat to packing. He was going on vacation to Barbados. He was at the Lindbergh Field. And, you know, had to go through the screening. Didn't want to. So he went to get patted down. He didn't want to get patted down. Come on. And apparently he actually did have to go through the pat down beforehand, like weeks before he was on a flight. And he didn't want to do it again because he said, you know, it's like molestation. They get all up in your junk. So what did he decide to do? He was stripped down to his shorts, his underwear shorts. Skivvies. Skivvies, yes. And I guess they were like... bicycle-like shorts, but he said it left nothing to the imagination. It's like, you can see for yourself that there's nothing there, so why do you need to touch me? But of course, they needed to go through with pat-down procedures as well. He said no, got in trouble, got handcuffed, and I guess he was with someone else who was videotaping it on their iPhone, doing the same stuff that, what's-his-face did, John Tyner did a week ago, and they both got handcuffed, escorted out of the...

9:13of the airport, face charges now. He sounds like someone that is in desperate, desperate need of attention. Yes. That he desperately needs to be paid attention to. He just didn't want to get patted down. Didn't he? No. Guess who's not in Barbados right now, kicking it on the beach with a nice big bottle of rum, blasting a cig real good. Yeah. Yeah, guess where he is. Cold, rainy San Diego. Yeah. Yeah. Because he didn't want to be molested. Don't touch me. Taking a stand. Everyone thinks they're Rosa Parks nowadays. And they're not. They're not. Like, you're not taking a stand. Everybody has their thing that sticks. They're trying to, though. Yeah, everyone, you know, there's a lot of people that are upset over the TSA pat-down regulations. And they're, you know, they're thinking, okay, let's stick together. And if I do something, maybe someone else will. Maybe that's what they're trying to do. Listen, I understand taking a stand. If, in fact, what you're taking a stand against is molestation by TSA employees. But if you're taking a stand upon something to which does not exist, then that makes you an egghead. It makes you...

10:22Ridiculous. Dude, I agree. 100%. Just do what you're told to do, and you get on your plane, you go on your trip. John Tyner could have been out shooting turkeys or whatever he wanted to do. Peasants. And this guy, yeah, shooting peasants. He could have been shooting peasants. Peasants. And this guy could be sitting on a beach right now going, oh, God, I've been to Barbados. That clown is missing out. I've been there. It's amazing. Dude, I don't care if he's going to Vegas. I know. Come on now. Get on the plane. Get on the plane. Or don't fly. Let them pat you down. You know what's so dumb about it, too, is that back in the day, before we had the machines that we have now that you just walked through, that was the common deal. Sure. Really? Yeah. I mean, when we were talking to, we talked to the guy that was the real-life guy that they made the movie Midnight Express about. We talked to him on the air. Okay, back in those days, the way that they did security was they did a pat-down. Yep. And now we live in a day and age that is all about me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. And what that means is you can't do this. You can't do that. It's all about me and what I want and what, you know, it's just ridiculous. Just let us pat you down. We're not going to molest you. We don't want to touch you. We don't want to touch your private parts. We want to see if you have a gun. And by the way, we're doing it because we're trying to protect you. Because back in 2001.

11:46some zealots threw a couple of planes into a couple of buildings. And so we're trying to help you. We're not trying to feel your penis. I didn't hear anybody. And I mean, I didn't hear anybody complaining in 2001 when they walked through security and there were guys with M-16s standing there, basically holding them. And they were doing pat-downs then, too. Nobody was complaining then. Because why? We were all scared to death. It's kind of crazy, too, because all of these complaints we're hearing about and these people doing these wacky things are all men. And they're all here. Yeah. In San Diego. Well, there's only not all the airports across the country have those body scanners. Yeah. That's true. Yep. And, you know, listen, you don't have to do the body scanner bit. Don't then. Just, you know, let them do their little pat down. Listen. If you've ever heard me tell my story on Fridays, I talk about when I was five, I was actually sexually abused. They're not trying to abuse me. They're not. They're trying to see if I have a gun. Come on. We've got to grow up. Fight the power. I mean, it's just ridiculous. And I read a lot of stuff online, and I'm reading these people's comments, and they're like...

12:56Bunch of lemmings just doing as you're told. You know what? At the airport, you're damn right. I'm a lemming. I'll do exactly as I'm told. Why? Because I want to get on a plane and go to my destination and have a good time. I think the problem is it's people that are seemingly just law-abiding citizens feeling like they're being treated like a criminal when all they're trying to do is fly. But see, Mikey is a law-abiding citizen. I'm a fairly law-abiding citizen. So are you. So is Sienna. I mean... If you're going to go back to Jersey for your mom's birthday and you're like, listen, I don't really trust these body scanners. I don't want you to see me nude and I fear cancer, which are legitimate. I don't agree with it, but it's legitimate. Yeah. And they're like, all right, we got to pat you down. See, I'd be fine with it. But I think just things, what do they call it? Like it sticks in your craw or something like it just gets to people, different people. So, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. And I don't understand it mainly because I think to myself, you know, you. fighting it and saying I'm not going to be a lemming it's you know it's not going to change anything for you other than you're not going to get your destination so take it easy and know that they're not going to try to that the dude isn't going to be like I'm about to get a real fresh feel of this man

14:12That's not what is happening. You would think that they don't want to do it just as much as you don't want them to do it. I mean, you'd like to think. Have fun on Amtrak and Greyhound. Those are a real treat to travel on. They're awesome. Hillary Clinton on the TSA. Everybody's trying to do the right thing. And I understand how difficult it is and how offensive it must be for the people who are going through it. Would you submit to one of these pat-downs? Not if I could avoid it. Oh, boy. I mean, who would? I would. I would, Hillary. I would, too. I would. Not if I could avoid it. And you can avoid it by going through the body scanners. Yeah. Take your pick. You have an option. Yeah. You have an option. We're just trying to stay safe. You know, and if we took the opinion of, hey, listen, I'm just a regular law-abiding citizen. I shouldn't have to undergo this. You know, the guys that crashed the buildings on 9-11, they could have very easily said,

15:12Why are you doing this to me? I'm just a law-abiding citizen. I should not be submitted to this. That's why we do it. Because it's a faceless enemy. That's why we do it. 5701949. Maybe I'm wrong. You can tell me if I am. There's a Charger game tonight, and it's not blacked out. Amazing. Which actually makes me a little bit nervous. The blackouts are the ones that we win. Yeah, well, it's not going to be a gimme for sure. It's the Broncos and the Chargers. Yeah, it's a good game. Get ready for some high-flying offense, man. This is going to be – they are going to be slinging it. They may throw – I'm going to call – I'm going to put the over-under at – there will be over – 100 balls thrown tonight. Oh, wow. I'm going to say over 100. Oh, man. Yeah, I'm going to say 100. That's a statement right there. That's a statement. Dude, they are going to be slinging it. Yeah, and listen, Phillip Rivers plays real good at home. Yep.

16:12He plays real good at home. Yeah, and it's going to be, you know, it's Monday Night Football, so it's on ESPN. Kickoff is at 5.40 p.m. Bedtime. Yeah, exactly. Michael gets 15 minutes of that, and I'll probably stay up and watch the whole thing. But it's going to be a good game, and it's literally, at this point in the season, it's a must-win already. So go get them. Go Chargers! Get those Broncos. Sienna, how did Harry Potter fare over the weekend? How would you think they did? $500 billion. Let me take a guess at how much they made. How much? $45 million. Way more. Wow. $135 million. No. Less. A little less. A little. $125. Yes. Holy cow. Wow. $125.1 million this weekend, which is the best opening ever. This is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part one. Best opening ever for a Potter movie? For a Potter movie. Okay. Yeah. Man. Amazing. I know. Isn't that so much money? Those kids are loaded. Jay saw it. Of course he did. Yeah, and we can't talk to him because he has to be in the other studio to make sure everything works right. He's across the street. Basically. He and his daughter, every time Harry Potter goes out, they have to go see it together. We got a tin can that we're running from that studio to this one with a string on it. So we're all good. It's fine. Yeah, there you are. How was it?

17:41I can't hear him. For whatever reason, Jay, I'm the only one that can hear you, and nobody else can. Which means, I don't know. Okay, so Sienna, Woods, and Lauren cannot hear you. Nope. Which makes me wonder if the audience can hear you. Probably not. No. Yeah, let me know if you can hear Jay. Doesn't mean you can say whatever you want right now. Yeah, don't. Definitely don't. We don't know if he's on the air. He's like, well, let's try it out. 570-1949 is the number. And Harry Potter made $125 million. Any answers, Mike? Don't know anything about it. Don't know what it is. Oh, I'm going to see it. I might not see it in a theater. She's going to wait until it comes to dollar movies. Yeah. We still don't stay on the impulse aisle. Yep. 570-1949. People calling in about the TSA stuff. M1, Kristen from La Costa. Hey. Hi. I listen to you every morning. I love you guys. Thank you. Yeah, you know, I'm flying out on Thanksgiving. I'm a white nuttler. So, you know, I take my Xanax before I get on a flight. And, you know, I don't like flying anyway. A lot of it has to do with 9-11.

18:56Yeah. But these terrorists are finding ways. They're going to find a way to get to us one way or another. What they're doing right now is, you know, finding ways to bomb us via UPS on airplanes. And I have to decide as a woman, do I want to be gate raped? Or x-rayed it. Gate-raped. Gate-raped. Is this a new term? You get a female. You get a female no matter what. A male does not. Honestly, I'd rather have a cute guy. Throw that in there. That's funny. Anyway. No, I don't know. It's just a personal violation. I feel these terrorists are winning every which way possible. And although I agree with the tactics, it's necessary. I still feel violated, though. Yeah. Well, I will respectfully disagree. You know, the UPS thing was thwarted. Most of the terrorist activity that has been present in the United States has been thwarted because of a great government and a great CIA that's been able to figure it out. You know, these guys are not going to stop. Yeah, yeah, we can't control that. Yeah, it's really just a matter of time, unfortunately.

20:16And it scares me. It really does scare me. Well, what I won't say is, what I won't say, Kristen, is I won't say it's going to happen, so let's give up. I say we do as much as we can to prevent it. No, I don't mean give up at all. We always have to be on target, but these guys are not giving up. Yeah. That's my point. Yeah. And that's what's really scary. And I think we need to have stricter guidelines, especially on things such as UPS and the packages that come in and out, things like that. Hey, Kristen. Kristen, hang on a second. President Obama's here. He wants to say something. Hang on. Oh, God. I, for the record, want to say that I'm giving up. You can't give up. You're a president. No, I've decided that I'm giving up. No, I did not vote for him. It doesn't matter if you voted for me or not. It doesn't change the fact that I've decided I'm giving up. What does that look like? I'm going to watch television today. All day, every day? All day, every day. You want to watch the Chargers game? I will not. He's watching basketball. Hello. He loves hoops. I will watch season three of Lost, which was when it got good again. All right, thanks for the call. Hey, Mike. Yes. Is there any...

21:34where, in the world, worse to work than the TSA right now. I know it. When you're driving to work, you're a TSA employee, you're like, God, please just get me through today. Or maybe they're like, bring it. You know we're not doing anything wrong. We're trying to protect you very people. Yeah. But I bet you they're driving and they're like, oh my God, I'm going to get through today. I know it. Just get me to Wednesday. I know it. M1 Dirty from San Marcos. Love you guys. You know, Sienna's here, too. Go ahead. Thanks for saying that. What I don't understand is people are willing to be pat down to go to see Kenny G or Dave Matthews, but they can't do the same thing to go see family. It's a great point. It's a great point. See, and I guess maybe I'm naive or ignorant or whatever you want to call it. When they pull people aside for additional screening, I thought that that was what was already happening. Like, I thought pat downs were already happening. So I wasn't really that up in arms about it. Yeah, I mean, you go to a baseball game and it happens. You get wanted and stuff. Well, you get wanted, but you also get pat down. I went to L.O.B. Dude, I went to L.O.B.'s comedy thing with Craig Gass at 4th and B. And it was full on, like, down my legs. Like, the guy's looking for flasks and all kinds of stuff. I had to open my Copenhagen thing. I mean, really. Did they slide up one side? No, they didn't, like, check my sack or anything.

22:53I was like, no, I don't have anything. But I wasn't like, this is a violation of my civil liberties. I wasn't. I was like, hey, you're a security guy. You got to do what you got to do. Yeah, I get it. I just, yeah, I got no problems with getting pat down. I welcome a pat down from time to time. I would like a pat down right now. Yeah. Hey, you know, there's an NFL quarterback who got so hot mad yesterday at being sent into the locker room because he couldn't play anymore. that he got so upset he threw his shoulder pads and his jersey into the stands, and his head coach says, guess what? You're not starting, and you're... Don't do that again, you nut. Who was it, and why was he so mad? We got that coming up here in just a second on Woods on Sports. Don't go away. Looks like it's going to be a gorgeous day here. Looks like it's becoming fall. Actually had to turn the heater on this weekend. Did you guys turn your heater on? Oh, yeah. We did this morning. Blowing out cold air real sweet.

24:33Is it? Oh, yeah. Do you need like a pilot light deal? I have no idea. It's a brand new place. It's not working. Gotta call the landlord. Oh, that's the worst. When you turn on the air or the heater and all you're getting is air blowing out. When I woke up this morning, our room was 63 degrees. There were icicles hanging from the ceiling. And we put the heat on and it was delightful. I'm jealous. NFL quarterback yesterday, we told you. Got so mad from being yanked from the game and told to go to the locker room that he threw his jersey and his shoulder pads up into the stands. Like a nut. Who was it? We'll tell you. And Woods on Sports coming up here in just a minute. Just to pull the curtain back, a lot of activity happening around the Studio M right now. Yes. We got engineers here and they're frantically trying to get us back up on our computer system. Maybe pull the curtain back a little bit more. Why is there a bra hanging right there? Where? Behind Jay? I don't know. There's a bra hanging in there. There was a rager here this weekend, apparently. What do you mean? There's a bra! It was brought in by someone. Sorry. Where did that come from? I don't even know. It was just here. They know what I like. They bring Jay gifts? This place is like Margaritaville. Get ready for Topless Tuesdays. Oh, boy.

26:02Word of the day is cube. When you hear the word cube between now and 10 o'clock, I will weave that into a sentence, and hopefully you will barely even notice. And caller number nine, when I do that, will get a pair of tickets to see Interpol at Remak, Mikey Show t-shirt, and Anarchy sunglasses. So get ready. Okay, so one of the things we wanted to tell you about was the... A big sex offender arrest here in San Diego over the weekend. What happened? Yeah, it's called Operation Safe Playgrounds. And basically, law enforcement conducted one of the biggest sex offender sweep in California's history over the last week. And dozens of convicted sex offenders found here in San Diego were in violation of their parole. One of the crazy things they did, I guess... dozens of parole sex offenders were lining up outside the San Diego parole office thinking that they were there for a presentation when they were actually there to be searched and some of them in line at the parole office had naked children, pictures of naked children on them. I mean, yeah, so they were busted and, you know, they searched computers and looked through. God, it just makes me so... I mean, just disgusting. I mean, it's awful.

27:08So those people have been arrested and more to come, I can imagine. They're checking phones, they're checking internet history, looking at everything. I couldn't say more power to you enough. Yeah. People trying to just crack down on this. Awful. And maybe they just stay there. They just put them in jail and they just stay there. Yeah. Because if they're in line with kids' pictures in their pockets, they're messed up, man. Yeah. They're messed up. There's something wrong. By the way, a 16-year-old girl from Tierra Santa died, and it kind of has investigators. Yeah, police are just baffled. They have no idea how this happened. 16-year-old Emily Palmiter, she is from Tierra Santa. She and one of her friends went to visit two guys who lived in a complex over in Tierra Santa. The guys were 18 and 19. The four of them went in a hot tub having a great old time when she and one of the guys went back inside. Yeah. A few minutes later, the guy came out saying something was wrong and she was found dead on the floor of the apartment at 1.30 a.m. Saturday morning. Cops are there. You know, an autopsy has been scheduled. There is no obvious signs of trauma. And the girl has zero history of illness. So people are like, what in the world happened? I wonder if she drank or something. Maybe a heart condition. They didn't know a beautiful girl. Such a sad. Yeah. Very pretty girl. Terrible. Terrible deal.

28:29Let's see. What happened over the weekend with us? Woodsy will tell you all about it. I loved UFC this weekend. Woodsy is not a fan of UFC. We'll discuss. We don't have to. What do you mean we don't have to? It's on your recap today. I know. You know, Woodsy isn't a fan. I love it. I don't like it. I know. You didn't like it. I tried. Dude, I've tried. I've watched twice. I tried it. It's not for me. But it's okay. It's okay. To each their own. We don't all have to be in on what the other person is in on. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't, you know. Woodsy and I texted about it throughout the course of the UFC. For about an hour and a half. Yeah. What, just arguing? I like it. I don't. Yes. He was calling me Sally. Oh, no. You know, check my boys. Oh, my gosh. So maybe grow a sack. I got a sack. A lot of people don't like UFC. Yeah, but a lot of people don't. Yeah. So anyway, we'll tell you about that. There's a big, big event. UFC 125. Big night. Jay put something very interesting in his recap. Jay, our producer, 47 years old, celebrated his 23rd wedding anniversary with his wife. Yes. It's pretty cool. October 31st. And they celebrated a little late.

29:56Yeah, it was, they got married on Halloween, but they had dinner with some friends that had been married 21 years. And he said that, you know, if somebody were to ask him how they stayed together that long, he said, no matter what, you just don't quit. You know, you stay together. Which is the exact reason that my parents give, they've been married 52 years. Yep. You know, Jay says it takes commitment, dedication, that kind of deal, in order to... uh, stay together for that long. It's easy to quit. Yeah, it is. Pretty awesome. This, and it was interesting because Christina Aguilera, uh, is getting a divorce and she was talking about, you know, her divorce and, and what her thoughts are on it. I know you're going through a transition in your personal life. How are you doing with that? I'm doing good. I'm doing really, really good. Sometimes, um, you know. Change is necessary. And, you know, I'm entering a whole different chapter in my life now with the movie and, you know, my son and being a mother and the next evolution in my life. And it feels good. SGNT. Sounds good, not true. Okay, here's what I mean. She says, you know, sometimes change is necessary. Well, change is inevitable.

31:19I mean, change is always going to happen. But to suggest that they have changed, meaning her and her husband, and that's the reason for the divorce, is BS. It's complete poop. You don't do that with your kids. And one of the things that is so upsetting about it to me is that when you get married, the whole thought is that, well, you can't get out of it. You're together. And you're not allowed to get out of it. Kind of like with your kid. You know, you can't say to your kid, and by the way, you're going to go through times with your kid where you can't stand your kid. Your kid's going to drive you nuts. But you can't say to your kid, look, it's just not working out. It's just not working out. We've grown apart. We've grown apart. We want different things in our life. Like, you like Avril Lavigne. And I like Frank Sinatra. You're not the same kid I gave birth to. You're not the same kid I gave birth to. You've changed. Look how hairy you are. Yeah. And you know what? I've thought about it, and I really am going through a period in my life where I have to start thinking about me. Right. We're just not communicating. I want to watch other kids. I want to watch other kids. I want to watch other kids, and I want to be with other kids. I've got a new movie coming out. Yeah. And the truth is, and I'm not telling you this to hurt you. I'm just telling you because it's the truth. I met another kid.

32:39Yeah. And listen, it's not you. It's me. It's me. I'm going through this. This kid is cuter. This kid actually like minds me. He likes to cuddle. He likes to cuddle. You don't. You never wanted to cuddle. You're monkey bars. I'm rope swing. That's right. And you know what? When you were little, when you were little, you used to like to cuddle and now you don't. And I'm, you know what? So I'm not the parent of the same kid that I got. And I can't be held responsible for the fact that you don't want to cuddle anymore. Yeah. It's not my problem. You don't want to cuddle. And you used to call me mama, and now you just call me mom. Yeah. So, I'm sorry, but I've changed. You've changed. We've changed. Grown apart. We've grown apart. Just agree to disagree. Yeah. So, you know, here's the deal with that line of thinking, with the Christina Aguilera line of thinking. When she says, well, you know, sometimes change is necessary. Sometimes change is necessary. You know, sometimes you get tired of the drapes. Your husband and, you know, if I were speaking to him, your wife, they're not drapes. Of course you're pissed. You're going to get pissed. That's part of life. You're going to hate them. I mean, there's going to be times where you say, I think I hate her. There's going to be times where you say, I think I hate him. But you know what you do? You write it out.

34:08It's just like a storm. It's just like a storm. The storm goes away. Listen, I can think of times. I remember this time. I was so mad at Rebecca. I mean, I was so fuming mad at her that I thought, if somebody presented divorce papers in front of me right this second, I'll sign them. She probably would, too. We were so mad at each other. And then I remember this time. where she was all dressed up and we were out. And I looked at her and thought, she is so freaking gorgeous. And we were laughing and we were having such a good time. And it actually occurred to me, what if I had taken myself up on that offer? I would never be where I am right this second. And I can tell you as of today, this moment, I'm more in love with Rebecca than I've ever been in love with Rebecca. But I'm going to get pissed at her again. A lot. Yeah. You know, I recommend this for people that are married. And I've said it before, but I'm going to recommend it again. Every one of us, well, most of us, if you're married, and some of you, even if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, if you're married, you probably have a song, your wedding song, and maybe you haven't heard it for a while. Every once in a while, my suggestion to you is break it out while you're by yourself.

35:28You don't have to do it with them. That's too shmarmy and sugary sweet and sappy, and I'm not suggesting that. All I'm suggesting is, if you're a dude, whatever your song is that you got married to and that you did that first dance with your wife, when you're in the car the next time by yourself, listen to it. And remember that girl. Remember your girlfriend. I said to my wife this weekend, I opened the door for her, and I said to her, I'm going to open the door for my girlfriend. Because before I married her, she was my girlfriend. Remember when you used to want to have hot monkey sex with your girlfriend? Remember that. Remember it in your head. Remember that feeling that you used to get in your gut that felt like an ice-cold finger touching the inside of your stomach when you thought about your wife. Because she's still there. I get very passionate about divorce because I don't come from a family of divorce.

36:35I only know what it does. And we are today, we live in a day where it's too easy. I say that saying that if I ever cheat on Rebecca, she's divorcing me. If she ever cheats on me, I'm divorcing her. It's the one exception is infidelity. Outside of that, she gets pissed at me too bad. She's stuck with me. I get pissed at her too bad. I'm stuck with her. I've talked to a couple of couples before. that were trying to work things out. And the first thing I say to him is, what made you fall in love? What made you fall in love? You know, with Rebecca, I can tell you the thing that did it, the things that did it for me were the ways that she mothered me. I loved it. She'd bake me cookies. She used to knit. She knitted me booties. I'd love to see those on you. She knitted me booties. I was, forget it, man. Done. I was sprung monkey.

37:55Forget it. The booties. For Sienna, I think it was you and Todd both, there was like a fart noise and you guys both started laughing. We were driving in the car and a guy on the sidewalk bent over and Todd went, huh? And I laughed harder than I've ever laughed in my life. It was the best timing, everything about it. Loved it. That's all you gotta do. And he started laughing. It was amazing. Yeah. When you get in those places where you're like, is it in Oregon? You just go, well, I remember the fart noise and it was, you know. Not anyone could fart like that. I lived in Vegas when Jamie and I first started dating and we had to split, you know, because I moved. We talked on the phone seven hours a day. And I will tell you something. One time, my cordless phone died. I was on a cordless phone and my cell phone, I didn't get reception or something in my apartment. I go, I'll call you right back. I went to Walgreens. I bought a $3 plug-in phone so I could talk to her on the phone. I mean, I came back, and she's like, what took you so long? I mean, we talked for seven hours a night. That's when we fell in love. M1 Justin from San Diego. Hey, Mikey. I'm calling in because I'm a child of divorce. My parents got divorced when I was really younger, and I didn't see my father for a few years, but he came back into my life when I was in middle school, and I got to see him around my mom, and I got to see them interact.

39:23the way that they acted with each other, if they would have stayed together, would have probably traumatized me a lot worse than I got from him just leaving. I wanted to know what you felt about people who should never have been together and get married or people who change in ways where they shouldn't stay together, yet they stay together and the kids end up more messed up than they would have lost. My thoughts on that are, it's not about why this, it's about what next. And so my answer to that would be, when your parents, were at a point where they wanted to divorce. And they actually did. And when you witnessed the dysfunction between them and you said to yourself, man, better the divorce than what I'm seeing right now, right? Right. Okay, let me tell you. Okay, hang on, hang on. I'm going to answer you. What I would say to it is, it always comes down to one thing. Selfishness.

40:28If I don't, if I'm not able to work it out with my wife, the reason that I'm not able to work it out is selfishness. But sometimes people aren't willing. They aren't willing to go your way, not my way. They're going to say it's going to be your way or it's going to be my way no matter what. And I'm not going to bend. In every argument that I've ever had with my wife, I've had a strong position. She's had a strong position. So earlier in my marriage, what I used to do is I used to clench my fists. I would take the heels of my feet and dig them in as hard as I could. And I would go, come on, we'll see who's going to win this war of attrition. We'll see. Bring it on. Now what I do the other day, my wife was laying in bed. We were talking and we were talking about something and she interrupted me and she goes, yeah, but how? And I go, babe, wait, let me finish. Can you hang on a second? And she did.

41:29And I, you know, we talked about whatever. And then I got in bed with her and I said, I'm sorry I snapped like that. Now, five years ago, I would have never said, sorry, I snapped like that. In fact, I would have thought I was right to snap like that. I would have thought I was well within my right to snap like that. But I told her I was sorry. And she turned and she looked at me and she had this look in her face that said, that was really sweet. And she said, I love you. Now, it came down to me, A, recognizing it's not always about me. See, the best thing, because you asked the question, you said, isn't it better that they got divorced than to have behaved the way that I witnessed them? No. The best thing that they could have done was to have given, I'm not done, the best, let me just finish this one sentence and you can have at it. The best thing that they could have done was said,

42:32It's not about me. I'm going to give to you. They could have done, though. I'm talking about what they did do because these are people who aren't willing to change and will never be willing to change. Everybody is selfish, bro. I know. We all are. What I'm talking about is the people who will refuse to change in their lives. I've seen people married for 30 years whose kids tell me, like, I wish they would have gotten divorced when I was little because all they do is fight and tell. Let me ask you a question. 18 and could leave. Okay, let me ask you a question, Justin. Okay. If I take you to the top of a seven-floor building and I push you off of it, are you capable of flying? No. You are not. No. You are incapable. No. Okay. I am incapable of flying. It is not physically possible for you to fly. Yes. Okay. What is physically possible for you to do is to give in and to let someone have their way instead of you having your way. The problem...

43:38The problem is many are unwilling. It's called choice. Choice is not something that you have no choice in the matter over. Unless, of course, you're walking down the street and an airplane's flying overhead and some of the luggage falls out and falls on your head. You didn't have any choice in that matter. However, your mom and dad, they did have choices and those choices were based... upon what they wanted. They weren't based on giving in. They weren't based on selflessness. And for the people that stayed together, the people that have stayed together, they were in the same position that your mom and dad were in, but for whatever reason, decided, I'm not, we're going to work this out. No matter what. But they didn't even get in love. They got together because she got pregnant. Fair enough. Fair enough. It's not about why this, it's about what next. You know, what about people who are forced into marriage by, you know, like these people, like some people get into marriage before they know what they're doing, before they know who they're with. I understand. But Mike is saying when you get into that situation, you put yourself in that situation so you find a way, you know, to make it work. Make the best of it. You made your bed. Yeah. If you make a mistake and you pick the wrong person to spend your life with and you realize that after you're married, you shouldn't be allowed to.

45:07try to fix that mistake by getting a divorce. No, you should be allowed to fix that mistake by means other than divorce. If you picked the wrong person, if you picked someone who is not compatible with you, you've still picked them is what Mike said. Yeah. That's not fair to say that you have to say that. No, actually it's completely fair. Say someone gets married to somebody and finds out a year later that they have a secret child molester fetish. Like you think that they should work with the person and work on fixing that instead of going, Oh my God. I didn't know this about you. I need to get a divorce and get away. Well, I will tell you this. You know, you have presented me with a very audacious scenario. I've seen that scenario, though. Yeah, where somebody marries somebody that turns out to be a child molester. Well, if they turn out to be a child molester, they're not going to have any... If they turn out to... Hang on. If they turn out to be a child molester, they're not going to have any choice in the matter. They're going to jail most of the time.

46:07They're going to go to jail. Okay. Okay. Alcoholic. My wife married an alcoholic. I changed. I didn't have to, by the way. I didn't have to. It would have been much easier for me not to. And 10 years down the road, you're still drinking. You're still abusive. You're abusing your kids. She can't get you to change. You won't do it. She should stick it out. She should let you still be abusive in her life. And she shouldn't. She should. still try to keep working with you. I have said, I have said on the air, I have said on the air, Justin, I've said on the air that I believe that when there is physical abuse involved, there is an immediate separation. Not divorce, but there's an immediate separation. You immediately separate. You're not to be abused. Whether you're a man or a woman, you don't become abused. But what I have found within the last five minutes of having this dialogue with you is that one of us has been preconditioned to stay together at all costs. And one of us in this conversation has been preconditioned to have outs.

47:39Okay, and what I'm saying and what I'm suggesting to you is, is that from the very beginning, They made choices. Now, their choices were to have sex without a rubber. I know. Let's just be real here. One of their choices, hang on. Let's just be real here. They decided they were going to have sex without a rubber. You know why? Feels real good. Feels real good. Hang on. Feels real good. Now, what kind of gets me is this notion of, well, see, that part's, you know, that's okay. I mean, we all do that.

48:49But what we don't do is we don't then go from that into doing the right thing. Like, that was not probably a good idea. But after that, we're going to, you know, do something else that's wrong. Are you saying they shouldn't have gotten married then? No. I believe that by getting married, you know, they were probably doing the right thing. But you stay there. But once you, yeah, I mean, I can see his point, man. I mean, I'm a child of divorce and I can see his point. And, you know, it's hard. It's a hard issue to be black and white on. I mean, there's so many extenuating circumstances in every family across the world. But, you know, your parents, you know, I see Mike's point and I see your point, too. But, you know, I think what Mike's saying is, hey, man, they. They rolled the dice, and they should have stayed together. Yeah, bottom line is, what is it? You made your bed your lion. If they would have stayed more than anyone else, I would have suffered. You suffered already, though. I have, but I... You wouldn't have suffered if they would have given in, and they weren't willing to. Exactly.

50:03people dude i don't know them and i know them right okay you don't have to convince me they were selfish in a fight someone always has to be the one to back down two people can stand strong in battle mike is saying that you know they should have each one of them should have backed down at times to make things better especially for you That's what happens. We're not willing to. I think he's saying they would have stayed together and hated each other and he would have been brought up in an environment of hate. You don't have to. But they didn't have to. You don't have to hate one another. He knows that they would have. Yeah, you don't have to. It takes a lot to get to. It takes a lot to make it so that you don't hate them. You know, it takes a lot. And, you know, we've all been there. We've all had fights with our loved ones. I appreciate the phone call. We're getting our computer system back up. So we're going to have our computer system here in a minute. We'll be able to do some Woods on Sports. And, you know, I don't want to keep you hanging on the line to know who this was. It was Vince Young. Oh, man. He hurt his thumb, right? Yeah, he hurt his thumb and threw a hissy fit, which isn't the first time Vince Young has been a mental midget on the field, that's for sure, and off the field. Threw a hissy fit because his thumb was messed up. His coach said, well, go in the locker room, and he was mad that he couldn't play. Yep.

51:22So he took off his shoulder pads and jersey and threw it into the crowd. Very calm. Last night, every huge star basically in music performed at the AMAs. And then so did New Kids on the Block. So wait till you hear who Artist of the Year was. Take a guess. Nope. Guess again. And again. And again. And again. And again. It's still not who you think. We'll tell you who Artist of the Year was next. Equipment issues. We're trying to work it out, though. Yeah, we'll battle right through, man. All right, so in just a second, we're going to tell you who won Artist of the Year at the AMAs. I never watched those. I watched 37 seconds of it. You did? Yeah. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That's Sienna. That's Jay. And it's Will. It's Will. Will's our phone screener. My wife and I decided that we're not going to get each other any gifts.

53:09for birthday, Christmas, A, we're trying to, you know, really get on a budget. You guys don't celebrate Christmas? That won't last. There's no way. You're both going to secretly get gifts or one's going to secretly get a gift and the other one's going to feel guilty. Yeah, Rebecca will and Mike will be feeling healed. We said not to. We said, no, we can't do the whole thing. We said that. Can't resist. Once you're out there and the jingles are playing in the stores. I'll just say, ah. This one little thing. Wait, did you conveniently decide this a week before your wife's birthday? No, she said it. She brought it up. But we're still going to get the kids stuff. Of course. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. We're wiping out Christmas. Sorry, kids. No presents. Well, they're one-year-olds. They care. Well, Santa will get most of it, and then you guys will have to pick up his slack. Well, we have to get the stuff for the little ones because... I'm not sure Santa even got the birth certificate on those guys yet. How do I know that he even knows that they're around? Yeah, he might not. Jake, we don't have to worry about because Santa will get his stuff. We'll make it with his elves and stuff. Those one-year-olds better be getting presents. Santa, you're listening. Which is great because last year I know the elves were going to strike and then they worked through it because they had a union.

54:26Yeah. It's true. Which a lot of little kids don't understand the politics that goes on behind the elf union. In the North Pole. Shame on you, Santa. Shame on you. There's a lot of red tape in the North Pole. There's a lot of red tape. And, you know, the Teamsters have gotten involved with a lot of the elves now. And it's just, it's a bitter thing. Across the candy cane picket line. Yeah. And they're called scabs for the kids. Scabs. And I know that this is young for kids to understand this and to even have to know about it. And in large part, this is something that I'm telling you because you're going to learn it anyway. But if somebody crosses a picket line, it's those people are they call them scabs. Yeah. All right. Well, there was plenty of elves that weren't working that said we're willing to cross the picket line. Now, that's fine. The problem is, is that those elves that are working hard, you know, all through Christmas to make those toys, they're kind of like. Can you help us out and not cross a picket line? We got a union for a reason here, bro. Right. You know? And Santa's not helping because he's got his issues and he's got to deal with labor and all that. He's working double overtime as it is. And, not to mention, because of the economy, and I'm sorry, kids, President Obama, anyway. Yeah. I mean, it's not your fault, kids. Just know that. It is not your fault that the price of insurance in this country has gone through the roof. Right.

55:47The North Pole still falls under United States government. I'm not trying to get off on a tangent. I'm just saying. If the Rubik's Cube isn't, you know, where it's supposed to be this year, you know why. Brace yourself. Nice 80s reference. It's going to be a lean Christmas. It affects all. Rubik's Cube. It affects all, is what I'm saying. Let's see. Okay, so Artist of the Year for the AMAs this year. Would you like to take a guess? Does anybody have a guess? Who was Artist of the Year? Bieber. Woodsy, you are... The American Music Award goes to... Justin Bieber. Wow. You are correct. Really? I swear I didn't know that. That was a guess. Is that for sure? I did too. How lame is this country? What? I'm more on board with being Bieber than Taylor Swift. I'll get it. Are you really? Bieber? You know how I feel with Taylor Swift. Bieber. Artist. Artist. Of the Year. Wow. Wow. He's like Sienna. Identical. I have a lower voice. Listen. I don't know what else to say. Yeah, you do. My fans are amazing. I want to thank my label. All use all is amazing. Label, I want to thank. My label. L.A. Reid, Steve Bartles, I want to thank. YouTube. I want to thank.

57:09Everybody, my mom for giving up so much for me, my family, my dad. My mom's gave up everything. Kraft macaroni and cheese. Juicy juice. Capri Sun. I want to thank Lunchables. Fruit Roll-Up. Yeah. All you all. Fruit by the foot, I didn't forget about. Yeah. Hey, yo, gummy worms. Proof by the foot. Proof by the foot how you living. Milk duds. Go-gurts. Go-gurts. Hey, how many of y'all like the milk duds? Teddy Graves. How if you grow up on Oval Teeth? Yo, them little shoes with the little wheels in them. That's right. I love them. Heelys. Heelys. Where you at? What up, Heelys? A man named Usher Raymond. Yeah. And I don't know, but I feel like... What up, pull-ups? You know where it's at. He's had such an amazing career. He's not going to thank YouTube? Yeah. That's ridiculous. I want to thank the big wheel. It's only right if I invite him up here to share it with me. Wow! Usher's like, no. Not only my mentor, but my best friend and my big brother.

58:30I love you, man. Oh, get it, dude. Give that kid a slap. I love him, man. I love you, man. Mate. He's my homie, y'all. Let me tell you something. Growing up in a neighborhood I grew up in, it ain't easy being me. Ever since I started singing a year ago, I picked up this accent. It's been amazing. It's been amazing. I'll tell you what it is. Growing up black in America ain't easy, y'all. You're white. You're white. I had to face so much adversity in my all-white school. With my all-white friends. I can't tell you how many times, y'alls. I couldn't even afford a Cinnabons at one time. This haircut wouldn't have gone over. They'd be pushing me off my bike, man, riding through the neighborhood. Yeah, my $450 bike. They'd be pushing me off all the time. My mom didn't even get me a new one. Yeah. Mom's got me a Schwinn. I had to walk around with you sevens. Do you know what it's like to ride a Huffy in my neighborhood? Man, you get killed for that. Damn. Can't be riding no Huffy. Huffy.

59:40I'm floored. Huffy is. I am floored. I mean, do young girls vote for this? How do they pick the winner? I don't know. Because those are the ones that vote. So that's the only way I can think. They were the ones that screamed. Yeah, they're loving him. The Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block are touring together. Wait, did you... You should refresh because I think that's from 1997. That's the old, old audio. You're way off. No, this is from last night. They're going on tour this summer. Backstreet Boys. What the heck? And the New Kids on the Block. FM949. The greatest groups of all time. Performing together for the first time on TV. Led Zeppelin and the Doors. Right, exactly. Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys. How do you announce that with a straight face? Oh my gosh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. The right stuff. Pretty dramatic. I think there was a choreographed dance in there somewhere. Yeah. I have a question. Yeah. What do they, what do you think that their getup is? Is it current day or do they go full on let's go back? Track suits. Gotta be current day. Gotta be current day. They take a lot of heat. New kids?

1:01:20Oh, both of them. Because I'm asking myself, OK, well, who's the audience for New Kids? It's not a young audience. It's an older audience of women, of women. OK, it's women in their 30s. And so what are these women in their 30s want? Do they want their Backstreet Boys like they remember their Backstreet Boys or do they want their Backstreet Boys but updated? Updated. Yeah, they have to be updated. Because if they try to do the same haircut, they don't have as much hair as they have. And there's a different audience, too, that listens to New Kids and Backstreet. Like, I was really into New Kids, but I wasn't into Backstreet Boys. I may have won a talent contest to the right stuff. Oh, boy. Are you kidding? I may have. What did you do? Choreographed dance and lip sync. You lip synced it? Yeah. What was it close? Oh, I was. Well, it happened at the swim club and it was like impromptu. The DJ was like, to win a free barbecue, get your act together for the four o'clock talent show. So I was like, oh man, what can I do? And so you did. Yeah. Yeah. And I did it.

1:02:19The oh, oh, oh. There's so much that I wish had been videotaped. Yes. I wish that had been videotaped because I got a standing ovation. Standing o. Granted, everyone was already standing when they were watching. Still standing. They didn't sit down. It wasn't a sitting o. Oh, well. Oh my God, we're back again. That's Backstreet Boys. How do they choose? Are we going to sing your song or our song? They probably mashed up. Isn't it supposed to go, Oh my God, we're back again. It is supposed to be like, Oh my God, we're back again. That's the new kid. They're going back and forth right now. I want to go, Uncle Steve, don't. You're embarrassing us. Yes. It's like Thanksgiving night. Uncle Steve's had, like, way too many beers. Uncle Steve, nobody cares about New Kids on the Block anymore. Come on. What are their wives doing? Are their wives digging holes to crawl inside while they're watching their husbands out there doing this bit? They're kind of loving it. That's probably the reason they fell for them in the first place. It's going to relaunch their career. Yep.

1:03:45Yeah. Hang in tough. I'm mortified. For them. For them? Mortified. Am I sexual? Yeah. Hang in tough. I want to hear from the woman who is listening to this and cannot wait to go see them. Seriously. If it were just New Kids on the Block, I'd go. L-O-B, you would not. I wasn't New Kids. I was Backstreet Boys. But even I. Never would I go see that. New Kids on the Black was the first concert I ever went to. I sat in the second to last row. Are you kidding? In the arena? Yeah, my...

1:04:28It almost seems impossible to get such bad seats. Like you had to work. It was the worst. See, I was like, I started babysitting when I was like 11. And the guy, the family that I babysat for was like, happy birthday. We got you tickets to New Kids on the Block. They were $4. And they were like, we're going to go. We're going to take you. And we like, the usher took us to our seat. And I was like, wait, what? Yeah. You're like, this is Montana. It was the worst. I was like the only one standing. And they had this guy, Biscuit, this like overweight, like black guy that used to introduce them. Yeah. And he was like, biscuits in the house. And I was standing in the back like, biscuits in the house. Oh, wow. Again, I need audio and video of that. Oh, my God. Those are the worst seats. I remember exactly what I was wearing. It was like the best moment ever. Rihanna from last night. Oh, it's going to be great. She was good. The future seems so bright. Then this thing turned out so evil. I don't know why I'm still surprised. Even angels, you take this game. My hero, even though we're all just gonna fire up. Swalder gum.

1:06:21Let's take a look at traffic real quick. We just go to break, but we've got color nine for our prize pack. Oh, I even forgot. I said it. How about that? M1, Andra. Andrea, that's it. Andrea. Yeah. From Chula Vista. Hi. Hey, what was the word of the day? I said Rubik's Cube. Oh, I missed that. Cube was the word of the day. Look at you. A pair of tickets to Interpol at Remac. That's so cool. I love you guys so. Thank you. My heart is beating. I love you guys. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. We're going to give you a Mikey Show t-shirt. They're brand new. And a pair of Angel sunglasses. How about that? All right, thank you. Hang on the line. I really want a Mikey Show t-shirt. I know. I know it. I know it. Good one. I got an idea. Maybe we ditch the new kids. Maybe we get to some football. Right after this, we're going to do sports. Little 16-year-old girl over here. Yeah, we got a lot happening in sports. So we'll tell you all about it next. Woods puts it on his music playlist every day.

1:08:06One of the joys of picking the music. Sienna's got her head buried in her arms, like, really, with this song? Love it. I like to put it right in primetime, too, real sweetly. She's performing on Thanksgiving on television. I know. I will be watching. Feast. Yeah. After the feast, feast. We've got to get the information on that. Like, when. Oh, yeah. Like, what. I know it's NBC. She made a little heart over her eye. I was watching the game last night, and she was promoting it. That's her thing. She makes the heart out. So cute. Yeah, it's real cute. When a good-looking girl does, she'll probably be singing about how her mom forgot to put the gravy on the table. Her mother forgot to put the stuff on the table. Just throwing people under the bus. Throwing people under the bus left and right. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, this is a story that I have to talk about, but it's very sad. Woods and I were practically crying this morning. I'm sure you've seen it on the news. Big story over the weekend about the dog that was found in the dumpster outside the Target in Mission Valley. So sad. The dog is okay, but some jerk. That's not even the right word for it. Well, you know, I can't say bad words on the air. Otherwise, I would. Cut off this one-month-old puppy's ears and threw it in the dumpster.

1:09:26I can't see why anyone would do that. What kind of a person are you? Tiny, tiny puppy. Sick person. Yeah, a little Labrador Shepherd named Sunny. The department named it Sunny. He's so sweet. You see him running around. But he has a lot of veterinary care right now. He's expected to survive. You see him on the news. He's running around. He looks happy. He's an angel. But Animal Services will be notifying the public when he becomes available for adoption. And, like, I want to adopt this dog. Everyone wants him. Get in line. You know what I mean? So he's an adorable little dog. little guy and it's just so sad so there's a reward whoever knows anything about who may have done this three thousand dollar reward being offered i'll give you i'll give you four if you call me yes i know i'll give you four also county health officials are advising surfers and anyone who likes to go in the water stay out of the ocean for 72 hours because after rain there's a lot more bacteria in the water so stay out if you can it's disgusting yeah that's filthy all right let's get through some woods on sports With our old friend Woodsy. Our old pal. Woods! Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. I took Sunday for myself to watch the NFL all stinking day. And I watched so much football yesterday. It was on overload. Let's start with the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Raiders. The Raiders have been playing better football. Well, they got smoked by the Steelers 35-3. And my clips are up? Were they ready to go? Okay, cool.

1:11:02So we were all treated to a Ben Roethlisberger touchdown pass. He jumped in his offensive line in his arms. Richard Seymour had his back to Ben and was kind of running mouth a little bit. And Big Ben went up and got in his face. Not a good move, man. I mean, I'm not really a fan of either guy, so I don't really have a dog in the fight. Richard Seymour slapped him with an open hand so hard it knocked him to his back. Here's Ben talking about it after the incident. Cut one. You know, it's not something to dwell on the negative of a game. I'm just going to... It is what it is. I wasn't expecting that from him, but, you know, we move on. So dirty. Will he get fined for that? Yeah, he'll probably be suspended. They ejected him from the game. Yeah. I called Mikey right after. Dude, did you see that? Gosh. You know who doesn't get slapped by Richard? Exactly, dude. You should be able to say whatever you want. Hey, hey. You put your hand in the dog cage, you might get bit real good. I respectfully disagree. I don't believe that you say whatever you want. Exactly. Sometimes you just zip your lip. Now, there are consequences for everybody's actions. Richard Seymour got...

1:12:01He got kicked out of the game. Richard Seymour isn't right, by the way. He wasn't right in doing it. It was wrong, but I'm just saying. You should be able to say anything you want without somebody putting their hands on you. You should. You're in a football game. Someone should tell Richard Seymour, use your words. Yeah, use your words. Say whatever you want back to me. Yeah, curse someone out. There you go. Use your words. All I know is it was awesome. It was awesome. It's pretty. It was pretty bad, L.O.B. The Jaguars over the Browns in a snoozer game, 24-20, where East Jones-Drew went off for 133 yards and a touchdown. So then let's go to the Titans game, where Vince Young, the much maligned Vince Young, is playing against the Redskins. The Redskins won the game 19-60. Now, Vince drops back, throws a pass, hits his thumb on a guy's helmet, and actually tore the flexor in his thumb. But he thought he could play. They go in, they work on him, they told Coach Fisher, they said, no, it's probably not going to happen. Now, Vince never went to the coach and said, yo, dude, put me back in, I'm ready to go. And Fisher just stayed with the backup, Rusty Smith, and let him keep playing. Well, Vince Young flipped up and took off his jersey, took off his shoulder pads after the game, threw him in the stands, went into the locker room, and apparently unleashed a tirade. They're saying his days in Tennessee might be...

1:13:21Over. Really? And I mean over, over. This is not the first incident they've had with Vince Young. Here's Coach Fisher talking about it. You can tell he is none too pleased. Cut to. I was told that he was obviously a little upset after. I was also told he threw half his uniform in the stands. Clearly, that's no way to respond. And so we've got some things we have to sort out with him. Yeah, he is no longer the starting quarterback of the Tennessee Titans as of today. I like how these coaches have, like, a no-tolerance policy. They're kind of dropping the hammer on these guys, superstar or not. I mean, Randy Moss got traded. Oh, Randy Moss, by the way, no catches. Zero? Zero catches. He had one catch, it was called back on a penalty, and no catches. Oh, boy. Yeah, looking good, pal. The Jets, I got to hand it to Mark Sanchez. I'm not a big fan of that guy. Dude, they are 8-2 right now after 50 seconds left in the game. Drives them all the way down the field. Winning touchdown pass to San Antonio Holmes. Second week in a row, 30-27. He was unbelievable. Three touchdowns, 315 in the air. The Ravens, 37. The Panthers, 13. The Packers whipped up on the Vikings at home. The Vikings now are 3-7. And what was his score? It was 31-3. Oh, boy. Brett Favre threw a pick. Weird.

1:14:3617-38 for 208 yards. Do you think he's regretting his decision to come back, cut three? It sure is hard for me to walk off the field today after a loss like that. Or last week. For that matter, at any point in my career. And, I mean, I take so much pride in the way I play and what is expected of me, which is always a little bit more than maybe the next guy. I have a theory. What? Maybe you go to training camp. Oh, wow. Maybe no one to fold them. You didn't last year, though. Yeah, here's the thing, though, man. You got new guys coming in. You got a whole new deal. I mean, yeah, you didn't go last year. You got lucky, pal. Yeah. Get to training camp. It's important, right? Develop some chemistry. Get to your retirement. Yeah, maybe just hang them up. Yeah, maybe go home. The Chiefs 31. The Cardinals 13. The Cowboys beat the Lions, which, big deal, but John Kitna was actually played really well. Three touchdowns. 35-19 was the score there. Cincinnati Bengals, man. Cincinnati Bengals gave up 35 points in the second half to lose to the Bills 49-31. Ryan Fitzpatrick, four touchdowns. Carson Palmer, two touchdowns, two picks. Dude.

1:15:51Bills, is that their first win this season? That's their second. And actually, their second in a row. They got their first last week. The Saints, 34. The Seahawks, 19. Drew Brees, another four touchdowns. Seems like he throws four touchdowns every week. Bengals are weird. The Bengals are a weird squad. The Buccaneers shut out the Niners, 21-0. The Falcons, 34. The Rams, 17. In another great game, Manning against Brady, 31-28. On Tom Brady's side, the Patriots beat the Colts. The Patriots are now 8-2 and are looking real good, too. They almost blew it, gave up 14 points in the fourth. The Eagles look pretty much unstoppable right now. They're 7-3. CDK had a pretty good game. CDK? Yeah, Captain Dog Kill. They're 27-17 over the Giants. And as we know, as we know, the Chargers on Monday Night Football tonight are taking on the Broncos. And then this weekend also, there was UFC 123. Now, I'm not a UFC guy. I watched the whole thing. And it's all right. Whatever. Woods doesn't like UFC. But BJ Penn and Matt Hughes, everyone was all stoked about this match. 21 seconds. It was over. 21 seconds of awesomeness. Really? On BJ Penn's part. Money well spent. 21 seconds. There was other events. Oh, I know. But that fight.

1:17:11To me, it was awesome. Yeah, it was great. It was awesome. It was a great 21 seconds. Don't blink. You might miss it, pal. And then Rampage Jackson. Rampage Jackson beat Lyoto Machida by split decision. I watched that whole fight, too. And you guys ever just lay on the ground and hold each other for, like, five minutes at a time? Real good? Maybe learn about the sport, though. Maybe learn about the sport and know what they're doing. Yeah, I want to see a fight. I'll go to a bar. Really? Yeah. So you feel the same way about boxing? No, boxing's actually, they call it the sweet science for a reason. They don't lay there and hold each other and sweat on each other in their panties. They're not just hugging. I know they're not. Aren't they? No, they're doing stuff. Whispering sweet nothings. Chewing each other's ears. Submit to me. You're going down. Me and Woods for an hour texted back and forth about, and he's like, I just don't get it, man. Get. Yeah, it's too violent for me, dude. Like, I wouldn't let my kids watch that, would you? Yes. Yeah, I would. I would. It's a sport. You know what I wouldn't let my kids watch? What? I wouldn't let my kids watch Goodfellas. But I would let them watch UFC because one is sanctioned and the other is murder. Those were sanctioned hits by the boss, dude. You got to get those hits sanctioned. Yeah, not until they're adults do they get to watch.

1:18:32For the record, I would not let my children watch UFC. There's no way. Yeah, absolutely. It's the same as watching boxing. Jake comes in, and he wants to get UFC gloves, and he wants to now train UFC. He's nine years old. What do you say? Absolutely. I say, if you're going to do it, then we're going to do it the right way. There are places in San Diego that teach mixed martial arts, and you do it the right way. See, here's what I think the misperception is for people that don't dig it. like Woodsy, I think the perception is they're just in there just trying to beat each other up. And these are guys that are skilled in, you know, Taekwondo. Sure. These are guys that are skilled in Muay Thai. These are guys that are skilled in various martial arts and boxing and grappling and wrestling. They are tough. World class wrestlers. I am not going to sit here and tell you it's easy. I'm not going to sit here and tell you those guys don't have skills. Archers have skills. Guys that are sharpshooters. Doesn't mean I want to watch it. Yeah, I don't want to watch archery. Yeah, I don't want to watch the biathlon. And I'll tell you, the reason that I don't want to watch archery is because I just don't have enough action in archery to keep me interested. What about Greco-Roman wrestling? I've watched wrestling. Now, I mean, I've watched wrestling on the Olympics. I'll watch it. But I'll tell you what, and I think it's pretty good. I think it's even better when they're kicking each other.

1:19:58And they know what they're doing. Don't like the violence, dude. I like violence in football. I'm all about it. You like violence in... In movies. In movies. Yeah, because it's a movie. Yeah, but it's movies about something that really happened. Yeah. I think it's the fact that they don't have really any pads on and they're just so exposed. Skin on skin, man. It's just so painful. That's boxers. Blood everywhere. Too much blood for me. Those boxing gloves. You get popped in the face with a UFC glove and a boxing glove. Big difference. Four ounces, ten ounces. Big difference. Yeah, there is. But I, listen. And you know, I know I'll get killed. I know I'll get killed for it. You don't have to, we don't have to, we don't have to like everything the same. No. You can like it and I can't. Yes. But if it, but if I didn't tell you, you wouldn't even report on it. Cause you're like, you know. Yeah. I'm kind of fundamentally against it. Yeah. Yeah. Which is so odd. Yeah. I tried and I've tried. I've watched two full carts. Yeah. Full. I would, in fact, at the place I was at on Saturday. At one point, I was the only one in the room. And I'm leaning there. I got a dip of snuff in. I'm watching the thing. And I'm like, I don't get it. I don't get it. Yeah. And I'm asking questions. I'm trying to get involved. And I'm like. I think it's just either like it or you don't. I think so. I don't know if it can grow on you. Yeah. I don't think it's going to. I don't think it's going to grow on you. The only caveat I would give to that is if you. Went. Understood it. You know. I understand it. No, you don't. Yes, I do. What's a Kimura?

1:21:18I know, but wait a minute. That's like me asking you, bro, how do you throw a slider? You have no idea. Dude, and let me tell you, it's exactly the same. Before I understood baseball, I was like, this is the lamest, most boring thing. I'm like, why do people want to watch a guy throw a ball, and then he throws, and the guy doesn't swing, the catcher throws it back to the pitcher, and between throws, it's like 30 seconds to a minute. I'm like, this is the most boring thing in the world until somebody took the time to explain to me, you know, this is actually going on right now and there's some strategy happening and he's going to throw this kind of, and I'm like, well, what does that pitch mean? It means it goes up. It looks like it's going fast. It's actually moving very slow. And I started to understand it and I was like, wow, this is like cooler than I realized because there's like a lot to it. But yeah, I mean, but there's also a fundamental lack of violence in that and that for me is the part that makes it makes it makes my stomach churn yeah when I look around there's blood on the thing and the guy's bleeding from his arm I'm like yeah it's just scary because it's real it's real it's real it appeals to the gladiator you know thing in me as a dude I would have been the guy watching gladiators fight yeah you know because these are the guys that are at the top of their game

1:22:43You know, there are a couple of people in the world that are able to get in that octagon. Sure. And they were asking, you know, there's a woman that was at the, when I was watching it Saturday night that said she didn't understand that UFC was only one company. She thought that everybody that fought this way fought for the UFC. Right. I said, no, it's like one company. There are other ones too. Right. I said, but if you make it to the level of UFC, you're pretty good. Yeah. You know, it takes a while to get there. Oh, that's good. Speaking of good. So here's what we want you to call in right now. What is the funniest thing that you've ever thrown at someone or had thrown at me? And this is especially going to come into play when we were kids and stuff people threw at us or things that we threw out of anger as a kid or as an adult, too. Yeah, we want to hear them. Yeah, you ever thrown a donut at somebody, you know?

1:23:50Sienna's got a good one, and she'll tell you. 570-1949. We're asking people to call right now. If you have ever thrown something really funny at somebody in anger or had something funny thrown at you in anger, is that brewed coffee or is that the percolated? It's brewed. Delicious. All right. Way better. What? Man. Brewed fresh for your pleasure. Oh, it's so much better. It doesn't taste like acid. Oh, this makes me feel good. I'm Mikey. Guy across from me trying to get my goat is Woodsy. We have a goat? Mikey. And the girl to my right wearing the kabushka is Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L-O-B. Kabushka? What is that? Pashmina. Pashmina. They're close. Yeah, same thing, right? And Sienna is our news girl.

1:25:05Jay is our producer, and today our phone screener is, well, Mikey-thon is happening December 16th and 17th. The news will be here to cover our opening hours, and we're raising money for Rady Children's Hospital and their ADI, their Autism Discovery Institute. The news is going to be here. News crews will be here. Drop some LBs. I know. Drop some LBs real good. There's going to be so many pictures and stuff. I'm just dreading the pics. Okay, so this topic of throwing something funny at somebody came up from a news article about somebody throwing Mexican food at somebody. I just call it food. Just call it food. Happened in Florida. A woman got so mad at her boyfriend that she threw a tamale at it. I wonder how many times Rebecca's slung tamales your way, pal. Well, listen, I am not for throwing things at people, but when it's funny, you can't help.

1:26:10Notice the fact that it's funny. Yep. You know, funny is funny. Definitely done it. What did you throw, Sienna? When I was in high school, I was just having one of the typical fights that girls have with their moms. Who knows what it was about? We were in the kitchen, and I got so mad that I grabbed a sponge next to the sink. It was a dry sponge. And I went to throw it at her, and it didn't even make it. Of course. It made it like three feet in front of me. It's hysterical. And you look like an even bigger idiot when it doesn't go as far as it's supposed to. But we just started laughing and it was like, oh, fight's over. I'm going to throw this sponge at you. No, you're not going to throw this sponge at me. Yes, I am. No, you're not. I win. No, you're not. I promise. You take this. See? It didn't even make it. My mom has the same voice as me, yes. I threw a macrame coaster. You know, a coaster that you put a drink on? Yeah. Do a macrame coaster at my brother, and it has no weight. Same bit. It's made of yarn. I know you're gay. Macrame. It's like a cotton ball. Yeah, exactly. See, all mine that I threw at my, because my brother and sister used to pound on me all the time and beat me up, and I couldn't do anything back because I was weak, so my move was always throwing. But I was always really accurate and really mean, like spoons, keys. Oh, my. Remote controls.

1:27:31Remote controls. She's like Tom Brady. My sister hit me in the head with a croquet mallet from about 50 feet. She threw a croquet mallet? Oh, yeah. It had the leather thing at the end. She kind of gave it the spin. Oh, my. Oh, my God. It's like four or five stitches later. You know, kids do crazy, crazy things. So to adults. Yeah, I know, but most adults don't do what we do as kids, which is to throw spoons. I mean, yeah, crazy ones do. Does a grown woman, after a little bit of intoxication, throw a boiling cup of noodles at her friend? You did that? No. It was thrown at me, though. Oh, my God. Your roommate threw boiling cup of noodles at you? Oh, yeah. She made her cup of noodles. We had come back from the bar, exchanging a few words. About what? I was telling her she was being a prima donna because we missed the train because she didn't want to run in her boots. And I was like, you're being a prima donna. Take your boots off and let's run. We missed the train from downtown up to North County. So it was like a $70 cab ride. And I had to pay for it.

1:28:36Oh, you know she didn't want to pay for it. Oh, yeah. We did actually stop at the ATM so I could get cash out to pay for it. Yeah, so I was like telling her that she needed to grow up and stop being a prima donna, and I'm like, I was washing the dishes in the sink at three in the morning for some reason, and all of a sudden I hear, and the cup of noodles went whizzing by my head and hit the, splattered all over the blinds and everything. Now, did you turn around like, whoa, what are you doing? I turned around very calmly, and I said, You know you're going to clean that up. What was her reaction? She was like, I think she thought I was going to come after her and it hit her. She was like, her eyes were all big and she was like, uh-huh, uh-huh. Wow. That's crazy. M1 Mountain Megan from El Cajon. Good morning, Mickey Show. Good morning. Okay, so I have an older sister and we were probably about 13, 14 when this happened. She had saved up all her babysitting money one summer and bought herself a brand new sewing machine, which was very clear that I was not allowed to touch or go near. And, of course, being the younger sister, I was messing with it one day, and she came in the room and caught me. And she chased me around the house, trying to pin me down and basically attack me, and I was scared for my life. Grabbed the closest thing that I could find and ended up throwing a barrel of monkeys at her.

1:29:57We hit her in the cheek, and for about a week, she had an indent on her cheek that said barrel of monkeys. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, my gosh. We're having a barrel of monkeys, by the way. Oh, yeah. It's a fun game. They're great. They're still around. Yeah, they're still out there. They're still out there? That's great. Barrel of monkeys. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you, Mountain Megan. M1 Dawn from Santee, you there? Yes, I am. What'd you throw? I threw a meatloaf at my husband. Now, how much meatloaf? Did you grab a chunk of it, or what did you do? The pan and all. The pan and all. Wow. Yeah. I'll admit, I'm not the greatest cook in the world, and he is. And, you know, his thing was, I never have a warm dinner when I come home from work. And so I was starting to make this meatloaf, and he came over and was, like, trying to doctor it up. And I'm like, leave me alone. You complain I don't do anything, make you food, and here I make it. And he wanted to stop, so I just took the whole thing and threw it at him. Oh, wow. So huge. And meat and ketchup and everything else all over the kitchen. And I says, and on top of it, you're cleaning this mess up. Hurt, sadness, fear. Oh, my God. Hurt, sadness, fear. Yeah, you can see it all there. Wow. I've seen that play out before. Meatloaf is now sacred in our house. Oh, wow. That is hysterical. I mean, as you look back at it, you're like, I threw a meatloaf at my husband. What did he do? Did he laugh? Well, he laughed.

1:31:19You're like, what? You think this is funny? Yeah. And I was like, well, the last laugh is on you because I'm not cleaning and don't think I'll ever make you dinner again. But I mean, obviously, you know, 20-some years later, I've come to make some more food. But I mean, it is funny. We look back and laugh. But it always seems like anything that gets thrown in our house is food. Yeah. It's genius. Thank you for the call. It's so funny because there are the guys that... they recognize in the moment that that's funny. I'm not that guy. I am. I could not recognize that a meatloaf being thrown at me is funny. I'd be like, holy cow. You just threw a freaking meatloaf. I would be terrified if I threw a meatloaf at my husband. I'm so sorry. I would die laughing. I would die laughing. I would think they were psycho. Oh, yeah. I would think she was psycho, but I would die. If we were fighting and she threw it and it hit me and there was ketchup, I'd be like. I'd look at her, I'd laugh, and I'd go, you're dead. Just like that. What if you were hurt, though? Well, if it hurt me, I would be mad. You got hit with a pan? Yeah, I'd be mad if it hurt. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I throw stuff. You do? I'm a thrower, but I don't throw at people. Because I throw okay. I mean, I can hurt you. I throw fastballs at people, but I won't. Like in my house, I've thrown my guitar against the wall before. Oh, what? Yeah, yeah. Kids got a hothead.

1:32:39I like to throw stuff. I might flip a table or something, or a coffee table. What makes you flip, Woods? What gets me? Well, I mean, here's the thing. Yeah, but if I'm arguing with Jamie, and we had a good one about a month ago, and dude, she said something, and it just, to the moon. And the kid gets up. flips all the work I was doing, all the bills go flying. There's a dog gate. Pick that up. Slam that to the ground. There's a basket with these little balls in it. Flip that over. Is this all in one tirade? This is one tirade. Walked out of the house and get a deep breath. Yeah, just flip. I'm a flipper. I wish that I could ask. I wish that I could ask Jamie, like, what are you thinking when that happens? Are you like, he's weird. She knows now. She doesn't say a word. What'd you say? She's laughing. Yeah, she just knows, let me get out of my system. Now, I don't go after her. I'm not like a lunatic. I'm kind of a lunatic, but I don't go after her. I don't think of you as a lunatic. I think of you as a grown-up little kid. Because here's the deal. There is the moment, no matter what, it's premeditated. Because there's the moment where you go, I'm about to flip.

1:33:56This over. I don't think you think about it, though. You just do it right at the time. Oh, yes, you do. Oh, yes, you do. You go. You think about how good it would feel. Right before you do it. Right before you do it. Even if it's a millisecond, you go. I'm going to flip this B over. My husband's like Woods. If he has a hat on or something, that hat goes against the wall. And he throws everything. And once I know, once it starts, I know just be quiet. I've hit that level where I cannot go any further. There's no point of no return. Kim just stops talking. She'll shut down. You have to or else it's going to be real bad. And I'm yelling and I'm trying to goad her and she just looks at me. She looks at me like, nope. It's almost like we don't intentionally try to get there, but it's like we feel like we can't get our point across until we know you've gotten to that level. And then it's like, okay, now we're done. You can't get Rebecca, but there's one thing that gets Rebecca walking out. She hates the walkout. She can't handle the walkout. You can whatever in a conversation. Nothing will get her.

1:34:59You can go to her. You can go for every button. You can have the blueprint in front of you that says Rebecca Esparza. It's got all the little circuitry. And you go, I'm going to press this button. I'm going to press this button. You press them all. Nothing. You start to walk out. She'll just yell something out. I very rarely walk out. I hate the walkout. The only time I do the walkout is when I'm... And I don't do it to get her. I do it because I know I can't continue. I appreciate the walkout. Yeah, Sienna likes it. I used to hate it, but now I'm like, all right, this is what needs to be done for us to calm down. Walkout and a hangup. Let me tell you this. The day I had my little flip out and everything went flying, I was prepared for a walkout. I was going to walk out. Couldn't find my keys. And I had to do this bit of walking back here. Where's my keys? What'd you do with it, man? I'm looking under stuff. Couldn't find them. You want it to look like a D? Yeah. Flip out, try to walk out, can't find your key. And by D, you mean dork. Yeah, you're. I mean, at that point, M1 sabotaged from Boston. What did you do? Well, it was about the seventh grade, and I was eating lunch with my friends, and we were jumping around like we usually are. And I ended up slapping my friend in the face with a burrito. Oh, my God. Shake that.

1:36:23Oh my gosh. Beans flying everywhere. Did beans fly? Yeah, actually. He ended up having sour cream and guacamole all over his face. Oh my gosh. I would have been bummed about my burrito. Dang it! I got slapped in the face with a trout. What? Who? Eddie's sister. Slapped you with a trout? Frozen? Yeah, we were 15. I went camping with their family. And we had a string, she had a string of trout in the river. You know how you catch them and you keep them there to keep them alive? And we were arguing, weird. And she pulled the string out of fish and she got mad at me and she turned around and went, what? And a trout went. Oh my God. A live trout? Yeah, a live trout. Oh my God. That's awesome. That's hilarious. You have the gills stuck on your cheek. You know, and it's one of those deals where it hit me so hard and it was a trout. Your eyes fell in the water. You're like, I'm not crying. Yeah, you're like, ah, wow. Yeah, it was a trout. You got trouted. Yeah, you got trouted. 570-1949. M1 Alex from Escondido. Hey, what's going on, Mike? Love your show. Thank you, Alex.

1:37:41Hey, so this was like seventh grade little Christian surfing camp that we went to out in San Clemente. My friend, he wasn't part of the Christian camp, but he came along just to join us and stuff like that. He's just surfing, just sitting there, just waiting for a good wave, sitting next to me. He's like, dude, I got to go to the bathroom. I'm like, well... paddle in. He's like, no, I've really got to go. I can't hold it. And he just gets this crazy face, this crazy look, constipated face, right? We know what you mean. She drops a doo-doo in the ocean and it floats up and goes right next to one of the locals. This guy picks it up. I started cracking up. I almost fell off of my board. This guy trucks it at me thinking that it was me that did it. By the time I paddle in, I'm over here. My pastor's trying to break up a fight and stuff like that. My friend's in the back still rolling. Oh my gosh. That is something that I'm telling you, you will be 98 years old. Yeah. And you will remember that. Yeah. Oh yeah. That doesn't happen. Wow. Very often. Yeah.

1:38:48Thanks for the call, dude. We got a floater. Yeah. I threw cuck-eye at him. Yep. Gross. Let's see. M1 Meat Freak from San Diego. What's going on? All right. So I worked at In-N-Out Burger, and I had In-N-Out Burger thrown at me by a really angry customer. Wow. So, like, he was trying to rush me through the order. I don't know if he was, like, trying to get out or something really quick, but I was, like, trying to ask him if he wanted onions on his burger, but he interrupted me and said, Why don't you just get my food? And so I just ran through, didn't even ask if he wanted onions, and that's what we're supposed to do, of course. So he ends up getting his burger, and he looks at it, and he's like, I told you I didn't want onions, and he threw it at my face. Oh, my gosh. I hit my chin, and the other bun hit the cook. It was like an excellent shot, but I ran out after that. And he drove away, or was he in the store? No, no, he was inside the store. Oh, my gosh. What an angry little man. I would have gone over the counter at him. Yeah. I would have. That'd be hard to hold back. Yeah. I'm just trying. I was so ticked off, but it was like, you know, we're supposed to keep our cool, so. Yeah. And I'm just, I'm trying to figure out, like, what gets you to that level where you're throwing a hamburger at a kid? Oh, my gosh. Must have had a hard day. Yeah. Yeah, and.

1:40:09A hard day and maybe some mental problems. It wasn't about the onions. It wasn't about the onions. Yeah, it could be a crackhead. I'm pretty sure it was a crackhead. It definitely was not about the onions. Let's see. Let's do this. Let's do some Woods of Wisdom. If, by the way, you have a question you'd like to ask of Woodsy for Woods of Wisdom, call now, 570-194-9. Woodsy is our man's man and answers questions about dating women. fashion as it applies to men, guy stuff, sports stuff, that kind of stuff. So you can call and you can ask any question that has to do with that kind of stuff. And you can also go to MikeyShow.com because there's a thing that you can click on there and write in the question, which is what we get mostly. Woodsy, I recently met a guy online via a dating website. We have exchanges, we've exchanged a couple of emails, text messages.

1:41:23But he has not called. If he is asking for more pictures of me rather than asking about me, is that an indication that he's looking for one thing? Or do you think he's just afraid to have the swap when he could meet me? That's M1 Doodles. M1 Doodles. That guy, unequivocally in my mind, is a creep. A thousand percent. I have a buddy I used to work with, and he used to be on these dating websites. And there's nothing wrong with them if you're there for the right reasons. But he said he had about a 96% close ratio on these things. He said it's just people looking to hook up. And that was his bit. He'd be like, send me pictures, send me pictures. Then it would get a little creepier and a little creepier. And, you know, if you're really interested in someone, you want to talk to them. You want to hear their voice. You want to make plans, go on a date, see them. That guy's looking for one thing. So that guy that you're talking about, he wouldn't talk to him on the phone? No, he would do the back and forth email, and if he got a nibble, then it would get a little creepier. And then she would get creepy with him, and then he would get creepy. And dude, we would sit in my office and look at this stuff, and we were like, oh my God. The chicks would get creepy with him? Yeah, because I'm telling you, 90% of the people on these are just looking to hook up. No way. There are chicks on dating websites, and their purpose is they want to slay? Yeah, they want to slay. No!

1:42:44Not a lot of them, but of course there's some that want them. I'm telling you. I'm telling you, this guy, and he's a sharp guy. I mean, there's no getting around that. He was the guy that was in my band with me. And he literally would close 9 out of 10. I'm not kidding. If you asked me, Mikey, percentage of women on the internet that are looking to slay a dude and will exchange creeper for creeper emails back and forth, I would say... 70 to 75%. No. Yes. I think that maybe they were doing what they thought the guy wanted them to do. Call anonymously right now, ladies. 570-1949. Give a different name. Give your Starbucks name. Say, yeah, it's Susie. Or just send us pictures. Yes. Whatever. It's up to you. But call us, and I want to know if you have ever actively said, I'm going to hook up. Yeah. I'm not interested in meeting somebody slash dating them. I want to hook up. And, you know, I don't have a point of reference because I've never been on a dating website. Yeah. So all I know is what I saw. And I'm telling you, he would come in my office. He's like, Woodsy, check this out. And he'd have winks from these girls. It was like, I think it was match.com, but he'd have winks from these girls. And there'd be like.

1:44:0340 girls, and he'd go, Woodsy, watch this. And he'd fire off an email. Semi-creepy. The first email. Semi-creepy. What do you mean? You sure look sexy. We should get together. And then, dude, after lunch, we'd reconvene, like, five dudes in my office, and he'd be like, I got 13 out of 15 emails back. I think it was ungodly. I think they just want to find a guy, and that guy is saying that he thinks that they're hot, and so they're responding. But they write back with creepy stuff. Because they think that that's what he wants to hear, and I think there's a large percentage that even they sleep with the guy thinking, well, if he's on Match.com, then he wants a relationship too. He wants a relationship, yeah. Wow! But there's definitely, there's a small, I think it's more than 1%, but there's a small percentage of... chicks that probably just want what that guy wanted. There's no doubt in my mind if you ask me about guys I could say oh yeah there's a ton I'm sure of dudes that are just like I want to get laid. But I could not imagine that it would be more than

1:45:041% of women for real L.O.B. 60 to 70. Yeah, not 60 to 70. That means you believe that there's only 30% of women on Match.com that want a relationship. I think they want a relationship, but... Down the road. I mean, these girls are looking for a little piece. I think that 60 to 70 think that they're going to be in a relationship and think that they need to slay on the first date. I'm telling you, yeah. Maybe that's it, but all I know is this guy was fishing with dynamite. Was he a good-looking guy? He's a sharp guy. I'll show you a picture at the break. I'll show you a picture at the break. You tell me, but fishing with dynamite. And the guy had a boat full of fish real good. Smelled like fish. Oh, Jay, that's so creepy. M1K from Santee. Hey, Mikey. Hey, gang. Hi. I've done that. Okay, you've done the hookup. You've done the hookup. Boy toys. Okay, now, question, question. Since you're anonymous and everything, and I want to hear from women anonymously. You can call with a different name, clearly. I'm not going to give you, there's no judgment here. I'm just being, like, informed. I had no idea. So I got questions. Now, you could tell from these dudes, right?

1:46:18what they were up to, right? And you knew that you were kind of up to the same thing, and so there was no, like, you know, you didn't have to horse around. You could get right to it. Okay, now, question. Well, I mean, Woodsy thinks it's funny because he knew it already, and he's looking at me like how naive I am. Yes, you're a sweet little kid. I'm a sweet little kid. Two consenting adults if they're up front with what they want. Hey, everybody! We're all going to get late! Okay, so my question is, why not the relationship? Why just the hookup? For me, personally, I was married twice, went through my sex divorce, and I was always in a relationship. I mean, I could, since, like, my eighth grade year, I'm a committed... type of person, so I needed to let go. I will tell you that I'm now in my early 40s, and this was a couple of years ago. And you were going through a phase. I was going through a phase where I called it the slutty phase, to be honest with you. The Dirt McGirt phase. Yeah, Dirt McGirt phase. And, you know, there was a couple of guys at work, you know, and they were kind of hitting on me, and I'm like, dude, you know, boy toys, you know, you got to be 25 and older to be a boy toy.

1:47:40And so there's, you know, a couple of guys there. You know, my girl's a softball coach. You know, the girls give out a vibe, too. The guys give out the Derby Gert vibe and, hey, I'm all about the whatever. And the girls have that vibe, too. It's like, hey, I'm not interested in, you know, talking. I'm here for. I had no idea, honestly. Woodsy edumacated me on this this morning. I thought that... I would have said 99.9% of girls on dating websites are there for a relationship. Would have never thought that ladies would be like pew pew. Well, most like cougars, don't cougars not want to date the younger guy always? Usually they just want to slay the younger guy. Yeah, that's true. I was definitely, at that point in time, I was a cougar. Yeah. I even went to the younger 20. Did you settle down? No, but. No. That's an honest answer. It's an honest answer. Wait a minute. I am at a different phase. Now it's a phase where I need to be by myself, out of a relationship, without the encounters, and figure out who I am. And I'm going back to school and just trying to kind of re-evaluate who I am as a person and where I'm going and what I want. And so the next person I do settle down with.

1:49:08it's going to be forever. And so I'm taking my time and not jumping the gun like I have in my past. Third time's a charm, kid. Thanks for the call, Kay. I appreciate it. Very honest. She's very honest. 570-1949. Now when we get back, I'm going to give you these other two woods of wisdom because they're great questions. Great questions. One's from Louie G. And the other one is from M1 Fender G's. Good ones, man. Really good ones. So we will do that for you right when we come back. And also, did you know this? I've even said this before. For whatever reason, food at Costco is so good. It's so good. Samples are the best. Oh, they taste good. Well, there's some things at Costco that you should avoid, and there's some things that you should be getting. Sienna will tell you what they are after this. Fever's up to 102. See a doctor. This is too long.

1:51:08We are going to be hitting some woods of wisdom here in just a second. But first, Sienna, what's going on in news? I'm sure you've heard about the explosives which were discovered at the home in Escondido on Thursday afternoon. And Gardner was injured when he stepped on them. And then on Friday, they actually closed part of the 15 freeway during this investigation. They had the bomb squad there. Well, they have temporarily stopped searching and halted this bomb squad. in the action trying to find out what's going on because on Saturday more than nine pounds of homemade explosives were found on the property. This is just getting too crazy and operations were suspended because of extreme danger. Now they're deciding how to proceed to find out more. Get rid of everything. Hopefully, it's just scary. Also, two polls show that the UK prefer the newly engaged Prince William to become king rather than his dad, Charles. Oh, wow. That's going to feel good. Not really surprised. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, Jimmy Johnson won his fifth straight Sprint Cup, which I didn't know what that was until this morning, and Mike so eloquently explained it for me all the way in now. He is the first driver in the seven-year history of the chase.

1:52:18to overcome a points deficit in the season finale. And yeah, the guy's dominating his sport right now. Also, there's a baseball team in New York that is making some weird moves. And it's not the New York Yankees. It's the New York Mets. They have hired Terry Collins as their new manager. He's 61 years old and hasn't managed in the majors in 11 years. He was in Japan. So way to go, Mets. You'll always be number two. I just want to make you feel like you'll never be. Like you'll never be. So, all right, Woods of Wisdom. This is where you can go to our website. Hey, Mikey. Yes? I hate to interrupt, but there's the lady with the turkeys is on the phone right now. She has to go to work, so we're going to take her an hour or we're going to miss out on it. The Ramona lady. Yes. Papers, papers. Yeah.

1:53:21M1 Pamela. She wrote us an email. I just have to find it. Yeah, M1 Pamela wrote us this email. She said, Mikey Show, I wondered if you guys have ever raised an animal that you had to eat. My husband and I have been raising a turkey and now that it's time to kill it, I can't. My husband's very mad about it and every time we talk about it, I start crying because it makes me so sad. M1 Pamela. Pamela, are you there? So what is the deal with this? You guys have been raising this thing for the last year. Yeah, my husband, Paul, has always wanted a fresh turkey. You know, something that he's fed and he's nourished and he knows exactly what has been ingested. And it's fresh on the day of Thanksgiving, prepared. And that's what we've been doing for the past year, raising this turkey. And you can buy them. I've seen them. You can get them out there in Ramona. You can buy them.

1:54:22raise him and do whatever you want. That sounds delicious. We didn't raise more than one, just this one. I've been feeding it every day. He's become my pet. Absolutely. That pet's going to taste real good. 100%. Did you name it? Yeah, he's Tom. Tom the turkey. That was your first mistake. Yes, I was just going to say, bad idea. Don't name your food. Don't name the food. Well, I mean, every day for a year, you feed it, you take care of it. He's happy to see me in the morning, you know? Oh, no. Oh, my God. Tom! Listen, you know me. I fall on the side of, man, I bet that's good eats. You know, that is a turkey that has been raised on the best stuff. Monster. It's been... No, it's not a monster. It's a turkey. You're a monster. Oh, wow. You're a monster. No way. Oh, gosh. You're a monster. Are you going to have turkey this year? Yes. Same thing. It's still turkey. Somebody raised that turkey. The turkey doesn't have a name. You know who didn't raise it? Me. Yeah. Oh, you're such a wimp. Yes. You eat hamburgers? Yes, I don't...

1:55:35slice them off the cattle, pal. If I did, I wouldn't eat meat. Yeah, I don't think I could. That's why I don't eat cow. I'm telling you guys, if I had to do what it takes to eat the stuff I love, which is chicken, fish, pork, bacon, steak, I would eat lettuce and carrots. The reason you can eat it is because you never saw it alive. Yes, I didn't love on him every day. We have trouble with fish. I can't cut open a fish. Really? No. Jay, I know you've got to be okay with it, because you've raised animals. No problem. Cows was the only thing, because when I was little, I told you the story about walking in the barn. I was like, how's that cow standing up on its hind legs? My dad had gutted a cow. It's hanging by a chain. It kind of turns around at me. I'm like, ah! Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I was already beating in. My dad, I'll cover my butt. I'm sure. Come in here, Jerry. Pamela, I'm sure that your husband, he's not going to make you do it. He's going to do it, I'm sure. He'll be the one to kill it, but I'm the one that's going to have to stuff it. Oh, no. Eek, eek, eek. I suggest a lot of butter under the skin. You're a monster. I am not. I'm a Thanksgiving lover. Pamela.

1:56:58You take it down to Statler Brothers and you buy yourself a fresh turkey real good and you get out there and you love on Tom on Thanksgiving. Hide Tom. Hide him. Are you guys nuts? They knew what they were doing when they got the turkey. It sounded like a great idea. Obviously it was not a great idea. Even if they went through with it, she's sitting at the table devastated. Poor Tom is just roasted on the table and her husband is taking bites out of him. I'm getting the Pope knows first. That'll be my first bite. I take the tongs, and I just pull that part off first. Oh, my gosh. You're a monster. You're a monster. No. No, I'm a food lover, and I love turkey. As am I. I love turkey. Yeah, but once you see it alive. Turkeys are pets. You've made him. He gets excited when he sees her. Oh, my gosh. That's your pet. Yes. Does he get excited when he sees you? Yeah, because she's going to feed him. Well, then don't tell him you're going to eat him. Mikey. That would be bad. You're a monster. I'm not. You are. I'm a realist. I love turkey. She wouldn't be able to eat him or stuff him or any of that. No. The turkey. I would be thinking to myself, and I'm just telling you, I'd be going, you got about two more pounds to go, baby. Stop, Mike. You're a monster. No, you are. And you are going. You're Hannibal Lecter. You're going to eat like a king. You are Hannibal. You're Hannibal Lecter. For the rest of the week. You've only got two more pounds to go, that little guy. Oh. Fly, fly. That is so gross.

1:58:23You're a monster. You're going to be wonderful with some giblets on you. I can't even look at you right now. Motion in a basket down to the turkey top in the cave. Hey, turkey. I was just wondering, turkey, if you could... I'm trying to put this couch in the back of my van, turkey. Can you help me? What are you, about 12 pounds? Don't do it, Pamela. Don't do it, Pam. Don't do it. I would cancel Thanksgiving before I did that. Agreed. You rage against your husband. Yes. Do it. Do it. Set him free. It'll never happen again. What if you swap turkeys? You still have to see it. What if you bought another turkey? A sacrificial turkey? He goes out to the backyard and there's a butter ball. What are we, in 1860? We're just killing their own turkeys. You go to the store. No, man. You grow it all good. No, you don't. You gotta know how to kill your own food. No, you do not.

1:59:27You control it means you know that there's no antibiotics. There's nothing. It's a turkey. It's good. Sounds like a good idea, but in theory, I couldn't do it. Buy an organic turkey then. Buy one. I could do it in theory. You couldn't do it. I guarantee. You would not be able to. I think Mike could. No way. If I brought a turkey and you'd be able to pluck it, kill it, and skid it, I could get it. As long as I know how. And what I think you're supposed to do is boil it so the feathers come off, right? No. Mikey? No, no, no. I think that that's what they do. I think they boil them just enough. While they're alive? No. I was about to slit your throat. They're not like lobsters. What do you do? Chop their heads off? Yeah. Or you grab them by the neck. Oh, my God. Grab them by the neck and just give it a spin. Oh, no. And both fat bodies spin around and just snaps their neck. It's very fast. It's very fast. It's great. Hey Woods, I got news for you. That butterball you're eating, it didn't happen. I know that. But he didn't see it alive. But I didn't do it.

2:00:21I'm not Abe Lincoln. I'm not out there growing my own turkey. I understand. But let me tell you what didn't happen. They didn't take that butterball aside and have a counseling session before they then put him into a little turkey guillotine and put a shot of Valium first to relax the turkey. Now I'm not even going to eat a turkey. I can't eat turkey now. You guys are nuts. Please. I tell you, one time I had just a moment of... remorse is we caught this giant bluefin on a boat and it was big and cut into it, bleed. The guy cuts a big piece of tuna off and hands it to me. He's like, eat it. I was like, fish is still looking at me flopping around. I'm like, all right. So good. Oh yeah, man. Just melted in your mouth. Yeah. Delicious. I'm nauseous. Well, listen, unless you're a veggie. You're not even, listen. Maybe I become one. Pamela. Yeah, maybe me too. I'm like, I'm serious. This is bumming me out. So Pamela, you guys get into it when you talk about it? Oh, I have a hard time keeping from crying. He's my pet. He's my home. It's your pet trophy. Yeah. I think you let yourself get too invested. See, when you have an animal that you know you got to use.

2:01:36You can't name him and everything. It's too late. She already did. It's too late. You don't have hindsight. I bet he didn't. I bet he didn't. She probably calls him Tom. He calls her dinner. Yep. He calls it dinner. Your husband's a monster. He's not. He's doing what we're all going to do on Thanksgiving. Not all of us. No, we're not. You are. No, I'm not. He's not going to chop off his head. Somebody killed it, though. It wasn't me. It's not her. She didn't have to. She's got to eat it, though. She knows where it came from. She saw those eyes. We all have blood on our hands. Yeah. There's blood. Yeah. Blood on the hands of everyone at that table. No, we don't. We all do. I'm depressed now. Hey, listen. Thanksgiving. We all have blood. I mean, I guess I'm eating a tofurkey. Let me tell you something. You got the blood of a turkey in your hand. I'm so scared. You enjoy that turkey, but you have blood on your hand.

2:02:32I can't eat. I'm going to eat stuffing and that's it. Stuffing, mashed potatoes. That's it. Done. I'm going to have some good dark meat. Freaking monster. You're a monster. Pamela, good luck and tell us what happens. Don't eat Tom. Eat Tom. He's a good boy. I miss Tom. I don't. I mean, listen. Tom the turkey. It tastes so delicious when you put it in a sandwich. And they're so sweet as pets. Are they? I'm just, you know, imagining. Our chickens would come right up to you and Jasper would carry them around. Yeah. And you had to kill one, didn't you? I had to kill one. And how'd you feel? Like a hero. A liar. You said it upset you. Like a hero. You're lying. You're a wimp, then, by your definition. Doing a man's job. Yeah. Oh, my God. Never. Or a woman's job. M1, Chris from Oceanside. Hey, what's up, Mikey? What's going on? Hey, I was just going to say, you know, when I was out there, I worked at the Mirage Casino when it first opened. some friends raised a pig. Why did you do that? Why did you do that? Because animals are meant to be eaten. That's not their only purpose. I'll tell you what, it's not like a turkey. Pigs are smarter than dogs. So yeah, it was a little tough, but it tasted good. Yeah, I bet. I like your tip. Lots of butter. Lots of butter. Dude, haven't you seen Charlotte's Web? Haven't you seen Babe? What is wrong with you? What's wrong with you people?

2:04:03Gordy! Yeah! Mikey has. Yeah, he did. Yeah, he ate them. Sick, sick human being. Listen, we all have Thanksgiving. I mean, come on now. We don't all kill the turkey, though. Well, we should all know how to. No, we shouldn't. If we did, okay, in this room, if we had to kill our own turkeys, how many people in here would eat turkey on Thanksgiving? Two of us. I would never. You don't ask me to kill your turkey for you. Never. I'd go without. Yeah. I couldn't do it. Come on. Oh, man. I can't hunt. I don't hunt. I don't shoot deer. I would gather the nuts and berries. Ridiculous. Like hunting. It's ridiculous. I eat what I catch, though. Great. That's why I don't like hunting dove, because I think it tastes gross, but I'll hunt. So I won't do it. You'll shoot a deer. I'm not big into venison. I don't like venison, so I won't hunt it. What do you hunt? Pheasant. Love pheasant. Tastes good. Tastes like chicken. I could shoot one animal. What? A boar. Why? Because they're mean. And they have horns. I could shoot that. That's the only one I could shoot. Because they're mean. Yeah, because they're mean. They're mean. You shoot a scorpion?

2:05:22I would step on a scorpion. You would? Yeah, they're mean. Wouldn't it go through your shoe? Maybe. What if it's Sammy the scorpion? It's an insect. Somebody raised it. No, that's different. It's different. We definitely put priority over fuzzy, cute animals. You really need a deer head on your wall? You really need to have a deer head? That's not why people get it. Well, woods, they eat the benison. Great. You can hang a deer head on your wall. It's ridiculous. Come on. No, it isn't. Why? You want to make it a sport? Give them a rifle. See how it goes. You're going to hide. I will, but their hooves won't fit through the little things. I know. You're going to hide in the woods from a big, bad deer, and you're going to blow its head off? It ain't that easy, buddy. It's the art of hunting. The art of hunting. Trust me, it ain't easy. It's not called shopping, Woods. No. Great. It's a sadist. It's a bunch of sadists. Sadists. Yeah, we're all so broke, we need the food. We need that extra venison. Well, it also helps keep the herd down. And you also like to throw 10 freaking buck horns on your wall. Otherwise, they starve to death. You see, exactly. You can make a gun rack out of it. Again, Woodsy, you're talking about, you don't know. I do know the population. Population. And they starve.

2:06:25You don't care if a little deer starves, do you? No, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to put a high-powered bullet through its brain. No, you aim through the heart. That's right. Haven't you seen Bambi? Yeah, why do you eat Bambi? Bambi would have tasted delicious. Why do you hate Bambi, Mikey? That's why I don't eat Bambi. I eat Bambi's dad. Why do you do that for sport? I don't eat Bambi. You're a monster. I eat Bambi's dad. You're a monster. And I don't like venison, so I don't kill him. Tastes real good and chilling. Lucky them. Ew, ew. You go fishing? No. You're not a fish killer? No. I love fish. He's a Burger King killer. I told you. Yeah, I eat Burger King. If I had to fish for Burger King, yeah, okay, we're talking a different story. No, I can't cut a fish open. Yeah, that Whopper didn't grow on a vine. Yeah, but I didn't kill it. You did because you were required to. Monsters. Paid for it. So I got to do these other Woods of Wisdoms because they're good. I really want to get to them. And so we will coming up next. Think anybody took a real fresh nap this weekend when it was raining outside with the heater on and just climb under those blankets and get all warm and doze off. Almost looks like it's nighttime at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. It was great. That is pretty nice. I had nothing to do this weekend, and it was dynamite. That is a good thing. Not having anything to do, sometimes that is a real good thing.

2:08:21We're going to tell you about the cities that have the worst teeth. Yes, we are. I'm going to tell you about the cities that have the worst teeth coming up in just a bit. I bet you Hoyle has been the station manager in a couple of those cities, too. Do you think that? You're stereotyping me because I'm from the South. That's right. And we both know that out of the two of us, you're the bigger hayseed. Really? Yeah. How's that? I went to college. I did, too. I have an English degree. What's your degree, Ed? I didn't finish college. Okay, well, there you go. All right. I don't have an accent. You have a thick one. I do have a thick one, but I don't have an accent. I'm not going to get us an FCC fine. You are. Fair enough. All right. What? Put it on a tee. What happens, Will? I'll tell you another one. When I'm talking to people here at a singles bar like Gordon Biersch. I love that place. At a singles bar. Gordon Beer's the hottest nightclub in town. Not a nightclub. It's a restaurant. It's not a nightclub. Brewery. It's like a bar and grill. That is a nightclub. It's a restaurant. There's no dancing in Gordon Beer. Do they play black people music in there sometimes? Yes, sometimes. Then it is a nightclub. Oh, my gosh. All right? Now, when I'm in there and I'm talking to the ladies,

2:09:49The ladies? What are the ladies? I said the ladies. When I'm talking to the ladies. That's kind of racist. What? The ladies? What does that mean? I think you said ladies. Oh. Yeah, the ladies. Like ladies. Oh, okay. Y'all are going to do bits. I really thought you were saying ladies. Yeah. When I'm talking to the ladies, they most of the time think I'm from here. Do they? No chance. Most of the time they think I'm from California. Unlike you, Woods, who. Every time you open your mouth, they're like, oh my gosh, you must be from Alabama. You can wear all the Hurley clothes you want. You do not look like a San Diego. I look like a surfer. Well, in fairness, I look like an older surfer. I look like Jack. Me and Jack. You guys are identical. Young. I look young. I look like I've been surfing my whole life. Just like Jay. I'm tan. You're not tan at all. I'm in shape. I'm thin. No. Maybe put the burrito down. I got rock hard abs. No. Fluffy. Putty. Putty. You know what it is? My mommy always used to tell me that when a man does that, he's just jealous. That's true. What about when ladies say it? They're B words. Well.

2:11:15Beautiful. Yes. Yeah. That's right. All right. Well, you've got to hear these other ones. I want to see what Woods says about these other Woods of Wisdoms. You can call us 5701-949. Woodsy, if some punk is talking to my girlfriend of three years and sending her text messages at all times of the night and day, should I say something to him or should I trust her, even though it feels like she's starting to push me away? We all work in the same office. I live with her and have another nine months on the lease with her. I know. I know. You know who doesn't get themselves in this situation? He's preemptively striking you, Mikey. But I'm stuck on what to do, and I love her. She knows I don't think well of him. Thanks. M1, Louis G. Oh, Louis G, you've got to be concerned about that, Val. I mean, you've got to. Yes. You have to. Before you talk to him, you better talk to her. Who's this girl? Who does she think she is? She's getting texts from guys at 4 o'clock in the morning. No way. I've been the guy that has been in a relationship.

2:12:23where wacky things can happen and the girl makes you feel like you're a jerk. Like you're the idiot. You're a psycho. Everyone has been in that relationship. That's usually a sign of a cheater will start to make you feel bad and start to question you. Yeah. How could you even consider the fact that I would do anything? Do you not trust me? This is why I broke up with John because he was psycho and crazy and you know what? This is making me reevaluate everything. Yeah. Yeah, dude, you need to drop the hammer on her first. And then, you know what? Seriously, if she is like, listen, this guy is a creep and he's bothering me, yeah, then you need to have a conversation with this guy. You need to get the guy's number out of your phone and give the guy a ring. And don't be a D about it, but say, dude, I really don't appreciate you texting my old lady. Yeah, and any respectable dude should understand that. Right. Yeah. She should be able to put a stop to it. If she pulls the card like, oh, no, it's not a big deal. Why are you worried about it? It's a big deal. She needs to go. Some men and women are in a situation where they go, if I say something to them about it and I throw the hammer down.

2:13:26They'll call my bluff, and I can't have that happen. I can't have them leave me, and they will. No way. If I tell them they can't do this, first of all, they'll look at me like I'm a putz, because I am. And then they'll walk. And then they'll walk. No, no, no way. You've got to be prepared for that. And, dude, if after three years she's going to walk after some clown at work, something's going on. Forget it. Don't be afraid to leave that relationship. I'm on Jason from Chula Vista. What's your question for Woods? All right. All right, man. I'm going to lay it on you here. All right. A few years ago, I did something really stupid. Co-signed a car from my girlfriend at the time. You know, she was in a bind, so I helped her out. We broke up, remained friends, and then she got the car repossessed and then disappeared. Completely disappeared. Changed her work, phone number, address, just...

2:14:28Completely left me hanging with a $6,000 tab. Nightmare. Yeah. So, you know, I had to pay it. And just recently, I found out where she's working. And my question is, you know, do I go after her or, you know, do I let this go? Man, you know, this is going to sound bad, but consider it $6,000. to never have to talk to her again. And it's an expensive price to pay, but she's out of your life now for six grand. And unless there's some legal recourse that you can maybe get some of that money back, but man, you're going to rip open a lot of old wounds. And there's a good movie. It's called The Bronx Tale. Oh, love it. You know, you have Bronx Tale. Remember the kid? He's like, man, you guy owes me 20 bucks. He's been dodging me for a week. And he's like, dude, forget it. The way, you know, you just. It just costs you $20 to get the kid out of your life. He's never going to bother you again. You're never going to have to talk to him. He's never going to come looking to you for money again. $6,000? It costs you $6,000. It's a pretty penny, man. $6,000? I agree. That's a pretty penny. But, dude. With this girl comes drama. Had you married this girl? Dude, $6,000, you got off cheap. Can he serve her, though, in small claims or something? No, because he co-signed. He's got no legal recourse. He has to do it. That's not true because she...

2:15:49She made all the payments on the vehicle, so when you look at the car history, it showed that it was her car and that she was making all the payments. It was her vehicle. I would light her up. You may want to talk to him. I would, too. The thing you may want to do is talk to an attorney, tell him to handle it, because you going after that money, man, it can lead to such. Not if he doesn't have to directly deal with her. That's what I'm saying. If he gets an attorney. Lawyers and court dates and nightmares. Small claims is not that bad. I don't know if six grand qualifies as small claims. I think you're right. At first, I was on the same page as you. I'm saying, you know, this girl's out of my life. Lesson learned. Yeah, you know, lesson learned, let it go. But about three weeks ago, I got held at gunpoint in my driveway. Oh, my gosh. And I was just coming back from... I was about to purchase a vehicle, and they took all my money. Oh, man. Dude. I'm now completely broke and, you know, don't know what to do. Yeah. Well, you know, I don't think you can afford even to get into a situation where you're trying to re-get this money from her anyway. And I agree with Woods. I think it's...

2:17:09It's a lesson learned. Tough lesson, but it's a lesson learned. Hefty price to pay. Next is at Woods. Okay, I have a roommate that's driving me crazy. He gained about 50 pounds in the last few years, and all he wants to do is sit around and do nothing. I feel bad for him, but I can't even bring dates home. I brought this girl Allie home last weekend, and he had his shirt off. If he's listening when you read this, it's okay because I don't know what to do and he's kind of a jerk about it. M1 Fender G's. It's funny because he's fat. What's his point? I think he wants to know how do you address this with a friend. You say, hey Chubbs, put your shirt on when I bring a broad home. It's a different person's life. Yeah, he can do whatever he wants. It's his house, too. It's his house. Yeah, okay, but it's my house, too, and I don't feel comfortable when you walk around with your shirt off. Maybe you get your own place, then. Maybe I will when my lease runs out. My pants aren't off. Just tell the girl. Well, it's because you have big jugs. Just tell the girl, like, look, I have a roommate. He's, you know, a little out there. Chubbs McGee, he'll be sitting on his recliner when I get home eating hot dogs. What he does, if the girl's cool, will not affect how you are.

2:18:23Yeah, I really don't think that it's that big a deal. No, I mean, you know, it's... Big man nipples hanging out. Yeah, you guys sitting there with his shirt, put your shirt on. Who cares? Cheesy things all over him. Well, maybe if he's friends with the guy, too, maybe he should consider, like, what's... What's wrong? Does his friend have a bigger issue than just gaining weight and stuff? Is he more concerned about him ruining his game or the well-being of his friend? He's worried about the game. He's worried about the game. Then just wait until the lease is up, bro, and suck it up. Suck it up. Go to her house. Go to her place. Can you imagine you walk in? I would laugh. You bring her in, and you say, hey, Melissa, this is Craig. Hey, Craig, this is Melissa. And he's sitting there with his chi-chis. I'm like, what's up, Greg? Hand me those nachos. Yeah. Dirty, tighty-whities. Much worse. Yeah, skidmark, tighty-whities. Much worse. Gross. Fingers are all orange. Yeah. Cheetos all day. Cheetos. Dude, me, I wouldn't be able to be cool about it. I'd be like, really, dude, with the shirt bit? I'm trying to bring girls here. I live here, too. I know you live here, but have some respect. Put your shirt on.

2:19:39How is it disrespectful? Because you're sitting in the recliner with your shirt off eating cheese. I'm allowed to sit in my recliner. I know you're allowed to, but we're not seven. We're not seven. You're going to give me rules for my recliner? Yes, have some respect. This is a common area. And you go to your room, you do whatever you want. You can throw poop around, whatever you want. If it's a common area, if it's common, then why don't I do what I want? Have some respect. You do what you want in your room. You can watch... porn, do whatever you want. I don't have a TV room. Wear it with your shirt on. What if Mike, what if the situation was your roommate Woods? Would you have a problem with him having his shirt off? Yeah, because he'd have a better body than me. Of course I would. That's just about anybody. Yeah, exactly. Think about the roommate, like the chubby roommate who's probably like, oh my gosh, I wish I had a shirt on, you know? He's probably like, give me some warning if you can bring a girl home. If I, back in the day, when I was obese Mikey, If I had my roommate walk in with a girl and I was sitting there with my chichis, I would want to die. We could use you like a beanbag.

2:20:48You know, maybe on your way home, send your chubby roommate a text like, dude, on my way home with a girl. Hey, Chubbs, I'm on my way home. Hey, Chubbs, I'm on my way home. Because he probably doesn't want to be sitting there with his shirt off either. It's going to take me 20 minutes. Get off the recorder. Gross. I think that's the situation. Wow. How come every time I try to talk... Get that meatball out of your throat. The meatball sub talking there. You can entire eggplant parm in your throat? Eggplant. I put a little cow in my throat. He put a little cow in my throat. Swallowed Tom the turkey hole. Oh, I'm gagging over here. Okay, some of the things at Costco that you should buy and you shouldn't buy. Yes. Now I'm going to go with the four things not to buy at Costco. One of them is designer clothes. Just because it's a national brand name, it doesn't meet the standards that they maybe do at other stores. Like what? I get fooled with that bit all the time. I'm like, ooh, sevens. I buy knockoff sevens. One leg shorter than the other. Calvin Klein, yeah. I buy knockoff sevens and the buttons come off. At Costco? Oh, really? No, not at Costco. My wife has some.

2:22:09knockoff person she gets from probably off the back of a truck. Don't worry about it. Another thing not to buy at Costco, imported shrimp. Imported shrimp? Wait. Where do I get my imported shrimp then? I'm just reading the list. I buy the shrimp ring at Costco. Is that what you're talking about? Is it imported? I mean, I don't know. Why on earth would anybody buy shrimp? That's something that you don't want. Taking the time to make it across the pond. Is there shrimp around here? Yeah, in Mexico. I guess so. The ocean. Yeah, but there's different lobster over here than there is in the Atlantic. I don't know. All I know is stay away from the imported shrimp. Next time you're there, maybe ask, is this imported? Is there a reason why not to buy it? Well, it says that... Make me go back in my page here. The Environmental Defense Fund classifies this shrimp from the eco-worst, is what it says. It's the eco-worst from the environmentally destructive ways. I don't know. Maybe it's from the Gulf. It doesn't meet the right standards. Don't buy sheets and towels from Costco. Really?

2:23:22Yeah, well, the reason they give is if you want a lot of colors, they don't have a lot of variety. I'm sure the thread count isn't that great, stuff like that. Whatever. I mean, that's not the place I'm going for sheets. Maybe for a college dorm, it meets the standards, you know? Whatever, Woods. You go to Bed Bath & Beyond, too? No, I don't. Where's a manly place to get sheets? Balls? Men's Balls Sheet Club? Yeah, man. I ain't going to no Bed Bath & Beyond. I'm not Sally. I go to Balls. The sheets in my house? My wife gets the sheets. I don't care what they look like. Well, maybe someone's not married and they're a man and they need to get sheets. You get your old lady to do it for you. Not everyone is shacked up. Go to like Macy's or something. Yeah, you don't go to Bed Bath & Beyond. Yeah, you go to Ball's Sheet. T&A Emporium. Yeah, T&A Sheet Emporium. That's where the men go. That's where the dudes buy their sheets. Nipple Warehouse. Hey, are you looking to buy some sheets, but you don't want to be a P word? Well, come on down to Ball's House of Sheets. Where you can be a guy, get a beer.

2:24:30and buy a high thread count. And I'm talking real Egyptian cotton. I have been to Bed Bath & Beyond. Of course you have. We all go there to get something. My home away from home. You walk in the haywoods. Hey! We missed you last night. I haven't seen you in three days. Balls was closed. Were they? Balls. I feel like I have to sneeze. See notes right there. Another thing not to get at Costco, the 12-pound crates of oranges and stuff like that. Yeah, because I usually do. I'm like, hey, babe, we need 12 pounds of oranges. Should we go get some? Yeah, the three-pack of whipped heavy cream, stuff like that. And some of the things you should buy, the chocolate truffles, they have them this time of year. They're authentic French chocolate truffles, and they're cheaper than anywhere else. What? They're delicious, I'm sure. They are. dusting of cocoa. Oh, yummy. Chicks and chocolate, man. Not me. I'm not down with chocolate. For $49 if you go to Costco, a licensed optician will perform a vision and eye health exam in Costco. How much? $49. I'll do it at $39.

2:25:45A week later, you can go and get your glasses. And contacts are cheap there, too. Solid. I also heard you can do a membership to Lifetime Fitness, or 24-hour fitness, for $299 for two years. Wow. No monthly fees. That's pretty solid. At Costco? Not really a Lifetime. At Costco. Laptops. 24 hours. Get your laptops at Costco. They offer a two-year warranty. Most manufacturers only give a one-year. They have a 90-day return policy. A bunch of really good things about getting a laptop. And last... Extra virgin olive oil apparently is the shiznit. I like slutty olive oil. They say it's the best kept secret in the store is the extra virgin olive oil. I don't know why. I don't like the extra virgin. I like the whorish olive oil. Very loose. My favorite thing to get at Costco is vitamins because they last for three years. And meat. Yeah, meat's good there. They got good stuff at Costco. Oh, that's a good song. I hate to admit it. Balls sheet. Yeah, this was at Balls. Balls sheet. I was in there this weekend. I was poking around. And they were playing some Sarah McClaw. Sounds like Bed Bath & Beyond to me. Yeah, no, it was at Balls. Hey, dude, those are some really great sheets. You get those at Balls? Hey, you know that. Balls. You know I did. Frankie's here. Hey, dude, is that like a thousand thread count? Yeah. Fifteen hundred, bro. Let me guess. Are those for a Tay? Yeah, they are. You lost me.

2:27:12Me neither. Of course, Mikey does. You don't know what Fratea? Listen, I am a conservative, and I want to support my party. I do. I had a very serious conversation about Sarah Palin this weekend, and I just, I hope my gut's right that she's not going to be the nominee in 2012. When we get back, I know it, Sarah, but I just don't want it to be, I don't want it to be, I don't want it. When we come back, I'm going to play you some audio of her from her new reality show. And you ask yourself, is she for real? Is she for real? You'll betcha. We'll play it next. Jared is the man. CreateYourDesignOnline.com. That is his website. And let me tell you, the guy's unbelievable. He also did BeDifferentPacked.com, which looks amazing.

2:28:34And these guys just, he's great. I think that tribesmen in the middle of Africa know this song. Agreed. I think Eskimos know this song. I mean, I definitely know. The Eskimo Blue Waters knows it for sure. But I just get a feeling that everybody on planet Earth has heard this by now. It's grown on me. It's good. Well, when I was at that wedding in Charleston, they were playing this. We're about 40 drinks in. Kid danced. You were dancing. Just getting up. Just getting up. Pointing it up to the sky. White person dance. Kimbra, our friend Kimbra and David's wedding. This is the song at the reception that they played for them to come out. Yeah. You know, because the whole theme of tonight's going to be a good night. It's a very hot wedding song right now. Yes. And it will be for a few years.

2:29:37And now we'd like to welcome the bride and groom. For the first time ever. Mr. and Mrs. Matt Commerce. Very funny. Matt Commerce actually covered this song acoustically at the bar on Saturday. You'd be amazed though at all the people that know the chorus and don't know anything else. All I know is I got a feeling. People scream out the chorus and then they're like. So, yeah. So they were talking to... They were talking to... So stupid. Why is Will.i.am screaming on Mazel Tov? He's trying to be inclusive. He's including everybody. Dumbest lyrics in the world. It's a great tune, though. Tonight's going to be a good night, though. So you know I'm conservative. Sarah Palin, I believe, is bad for the Republican Party. And she's got this... reality show, Sarah Palin's Alaska. And I think it makes her look ridiculous. We're going to Homer. No. And Homer is the halibut capital of the world. So we're heading down there just for the halibut. Oh, I'm done. Alaskans know that joke. I don't know if other people will. I'm done. Yeah, we don't understand that joke because we're not from there.

2:31:04It's kind of like just for the heck of it, but oh, just for the hell of it. So it sounds the same. It's a play on words. It's a play on words. That's what we do over here in Alaska. But Sarah, you said you're not sure if everybody would get that. Yeah. Because they get it in Alaska. We sure do. But you're not sure that people would get that joke if they weren't from... Well, you didn't get it, did you, Mike? I did, though. I had to explain it to you. I admit it. I got it. Oh, you're a stinker. Here's Sarah Palin clubbing a fish. There's a fish. Oh, my God. Get him out of here. There you go. Get it, Bristol. Go in there. Step in there. Oh, that sounds awesome. It's a big fish. They're huge fish. They're strong fish. You have to stun it. Otherwise, it's going to flop around and bruise its own meat. It's also dangerous enough where it could slap somebody around and really injure a person. It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it. Are you talking about fishing or sex? You're a dirty little bird, aren't you? It's true. You poke-a-doo. Who's that fella you got behind that shiny thing? Uncle Jay.

2:32:31Creepy. Can he hear me okay? Yeah, I hear you. He's creepy. Sure is. Oh, man. Please don't be the nominee. Please don't be the nominee. I'm just thinking out loud. You're going to have to vote in Democrats. I just won't vote, I guess, if she's the nominee. How could that happen? My wife doesn't believe that it will. She thinks the nation is smarter than that. I don't know if I do. Justin Bieber, Artist of the Year. Enough said. Okay? President Obama didn't have any experience. He's a good-looking, well-spoken guy, but he didn't have any experience. We voted him in. It's American Idol. Yeah, but at least he was in the Senate. He was a junior senator. He had a cup of coffee he'd been in there. He wasn't even done with the coffee. He'd had half of the cup, and he was like, president. Yeah, and look at his approval rating. I think that people would be like, all right, we're not messing around this time. Yeah, we're not doing this again. I don't know what Oprah's favorite things is, but Woods does because he watches Oprah. I do not, you clown. Wait a second. Did you or did you not off the air say, so guys, I was watching Oprah's favorite things. Let me preface it before you throw me under the bus. My wife is a huge Oprah lover. Weird. And Oprah's favorite things is like they're the big day. What is it? Well, yeah, it's like, okay.

2:33:55Oh, this is the new Copenhagen Long Cut, and it is good. It is my favorite. Everybody in here gets Copenhagen. So how do you get tickets for that day? You never know. You don't know. You just get tickets, and if you happen to show up on that day, you have hit the motherlode. Bro, diamond watches, tennis bracelets. No, I'm not talking. There's a couple little turd gifts. There was a lasagna pan, and I'm like, great. But then she's like, this is the new E-Bell watch, and I love it, and it's insane. That's crazy. Listen to this. Is a classic favorite thing. My favorite thing to wear with a season 25 twist. Season 25 twist. Okay. Okay. How about a diamond? There you go. And everybody gets one. Everybody. Do they pay taxes on that? Yeah, I'm sure. I like how she says, by the way. It's a classic gift. Yeah, it's classic. Well, yeah. First of all, everybody's got one. That's why it's classic. And what is more classic and timeless than a diamond watch? Insanity. Wow. It's insane. Holy cow. So my wife was watching it, and I saw a three or four or seven. Now, what if they give all that stuff to people, and they can't afford the taxes on it? You just have to give it back? What do you do? Sell it off to pay for the taxes. Oh. How about this one?

2:35:30Why does she have to say it so crazy a gold-plated She says it like that. Everyone's like... My toenails! That's insane. My Uncle Walter's Merkin! The original glue from my finger! It shows all the people in the audience with a merkin on it. They're all stoked. I'm gonna vomit. I'm gonna vomit. They're wearing a watch with a merkin on it. How about this one? There's another Oprah favorite thing. She's injured an animal. I would lose my mind if I was in that audience. Me too. You get this, you get this.

2:37:42Taking off my clothes, running across. Facing. All the way in. Lord of mercy. I'd be so excited. Sony 3D TV, Royal Caribbean Cruise, five years of free Netflix, Diamond Watch. I'll take the Diamond Watch. How many people are in the audience? A lot. Like, gotta be a hundred. Couple hundred? A hundred? Yeah. Doesn't she have like a separate screening room? Not even like the audience that's in the room with her? They do it Ellen, probably for Oprah too. The riffraff room. And what I'm wondering is, they must get your address and this stuff shows up in the mail. A big box. Because you're not walking out of there with a 15 inch bra gun. Someone's just going to tackle you. And a merkin. Yeah, but they must, right? Can you imagine them out of paperwork? Oh yeah. It's worth it. Totally worth it. Yeah, I'm not saying it's not worth it, but my gosh, for the people that have to do all the signing. Over and under on the tax is $3,000. It's like 40%. It's some weird, crazy amount. 40? It's an amazing amount of gift tax. Because all those things have got to be worth $100,000. Yeah. People can't pay. A diamond watch is a lot. It's a crazy amount. People can't pay $40,000. Maybe she takes care of it.

2:38:56She has to. She has to. Because you can't. What you can't do is you can't say to 200 people, you have a $40,000 bill when you leave here. We used to give away $20,000 cars, these Corvettes, and then the tax was like $3,500. And you can't give them money to pay for it because otherwise you then have to tax the money that you just gave them to pay for the taxes. But that's not 40%. Well, it was like some crazy amount. Foot the bill? Yeah, but you hear what he said? If she does, then you've got to pay the taxes on that. Yeah, every time I give you something, you have to pay taxes on it. That's freaking Oprah, dude. She can do whatever she wants. I'm sure she's got some kind of deal. 40 is inheritance tax. I'm sorry. I got that wrong. That's ridiculous, too. Let's name that, too, when we get back. What do we have to give away? We've got the Dandy Warhols, or you can have the old 97s. All right, cool. 5701949. When we get back, call us right now. Pick a horse. You're going to pick me, Sienna Woods, or L.O.B. What is the theme? The theme is fail.

2:40:00Songs that failed that are covers. What does that mean? Failed that are just terrible. People did poorly. Very poorly. People trying to play them. Okay, cool. Call us right now, 570-1949. We're going to do a little game of Name That Tune, and we will represent you. So you pick me, L-O-B, Woods, or Sienna, and we call it Picking a Horse, and hopefully we win for you. Let's see. We got M1 Lizzie on the line from Carlsbad. Lizzie, who would you like to have represent you? Hey guys, I'll take Lauren. Hang on the line. M1 Marie from San Diego. Who do you want? I would love to have Wood. My wife might have something to say about that. M1 Ziggy from Lemon Grove. Who would you like to select?

2:41:19Obese Mikey. There you go. There you go. Obese Mikey. Don't do this to me, Mike. Just keep going with the game. You're going to upset me. Number one, Jesse, from Mission Valley. Of the people left. I'm saying I'm giving him the option. Just ask him who he would like. Who would you like to select? I would like dyslexia. Oh, good for you. Well, she's available, and you've got her. Lucky you. She's barely got her. I like what I'm hearing. Hang on the line. Jesse, I love you. That's right. That's a close one. All right, let's do this. All right, we use our name as a buzzer, and the theme today is singing fails. Yes. Here we go. One, two, one, two, three, four. Woods. Guns N' Roses. Was that? Sweet Child of Mine? Yeah. Oh, wow. Wow. That's right. I was like, do I say the movie? I'm so confused. Here we go. Woods. Alice in Chains. What song? Them Bones. Them Bones. He said it. Never heard of that song in my life. You've never heard of that song? I have, but I couldn't recognize it because they were so bad. Here's one for the ladies. I'm hot. You're cold. Mikey. Sienna. Careful, Mikey. Oh.

2:42:58That means it's not Katy Perry. Sienna? I thought it was hot and cold. Yep. Here we go. We'll continue. Oh, I know. Sienna. You can't. Why? Wow, nobody got it. No idea. I'll tell you, it was the Jonas Brothers. I knew that one. Here we go. Lauren. Black Eyed Peas.

2:43:55What's the score, Sienna? Woods 2, Lauren 1, Mike and I both have negative 1. Maybe I should have just stayed quiet. Me too. Here we go. She took my money. What's his name? Ray Charles. Dude, that's Ray Charles. Yes, it is. That's where Kanye got the song from. It's not Kanye either. Lauren. Who is it? It's Mikey's. It is the guy that played Ray Charles in the movie, Jamie Foxx. That's a Ray Charles song. Sienna! It's called Gold Digger. Thank you. That's a Ray Charles song. But it's not the cover. It's not who they're covering. It's Gold Digger. I said Ray Charles. But he changed the words of the Ray Charles song. He did. That's Gold Digger by, not Kanye. The Ray Charles song is She Gives Me Lovin'. And She Gives Me Money. So how does that work? Does that mean Woods got one taken away, Mike got one taken away, and I got one right? Wait, what? But I said Lauren and you didn't call on me. Mikey said his name first. You have to re-say it again after you play the game. Yeah. You ever a train wreck real good? Yeah. The score is Mike negative two, Lauren one, Woods one, Sienna zero. Here we go. Woods. Finger 11.

2:45:23Paralyzer. Paralyzer. Paralyzer. Maybe we're not singing. Here we go. Touch my body. Mariah Carey. Woods 3, Mike negative 2, Lauren 1, Sienna 0. I'm so sad. Here we go. Sienna! Carrie Underwood. Oh, wow. That was great. That was great. That was great. That was impressive. Those boobs shot up about three feet. I got excited. Buddy, your boy, make it be nice, please. Mikey. Queen. Damn it. Wow. You should hear all that one at some point. Let's hear a little bit of it. Buddy, your boy make a big nice play in the street. Gonna be a big man someday. You got mud on your face. You big disgrace. Kicking your can all over the place. Wow. Oh my gosh, that's brilliant. We will. We will. Please, AJ. I need that clip forever. Forever the rest of the Mikey Show existence. Please play it again.

2:46:36You know what I want I want you know what I want I want like the full behind it. See if I can get that done for you. That was delicious. And I want to take bread and I want to sop up all of that so that I don't miss any of it. What's the score, Sienna? Mike, negative one. Lauren, one. Sienna, one. Woods, three. So let's just make these next two two-pointers. Yes! Just two-pointers. Here we go. Lauren. Michael Jackson. Beat it. Lauren and Woods are tied with three. Here we go. This is it for two. Sienna? I'm just going to take a shot. Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

2:47:59Wow, let me hear it again. Knowing now. You know what that means. Lauren Woods and I tied. You did? Wow. I could actually have one more. Okay, this is for all the marbles. Let me find it real quick. Here we go. I'm going to mash you guys up by getting it right. I drive these scrubbers crazy. I do it on the daily. They treat me real. Mikey. My Humps. That's right. How many points was that worth? That was Alanis Morissette, wasn't it? Yeah. Singing My Humps. That was just one. So we're still tied. We're still tied. All right, here we go. Got another one. Oh, gosh. Oh, God, I'm going to vomit. Let's see. I'll pick one out real good here. Woods. Woods. What? Outcast.

2:49:13For the win! Rob. I almost got it, Jesse. Rob. Rob. Wow. Rob. That's a good song. Good job. Yeah, good job. Oh, Lauren. You take our name that tune very seriously. M1Marie from San Diego. Woodsy won for you. Hey. Congrats. Can't wait to listen to that podcast. Hang on. Can you imagine us as little kids playing Monopoly together? Yes, we do it every day. I know it. That's exactly what we are. So, we got Hillary in the studio. Hillary, were you a... Lauren, you just kicked the wall. I did. She gets so... I did. I walked over to the wall. Old man ear hair did not hear the person... Anybody get angry? Irish Cyclone. Maybe she should speak up a little bit. She takes the games very seriously. I do. I'm very competitive. She's very competitive. Am I the only one? I'm afraid for my life later. Hillary, how you doing? I'm doing all right. How are you guys doing? Well, we're doing good. We're doing good. Let's see. We have a lot left over, so we're going to get some leftovers tomorrow. What's coming up? What do you got? I grabbed New Interpol and Tokyo Police Club, who will play our holiday hootenanny. Grab some white stripes, nine-inch nails. There you go. No Kraftwerk today, Hillary? I'll get to all Kraftwerk. All right.

2:50:36Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. And we'll come back tomorrow morning at 6 and do it again. Mikey Show's out. Late.