The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/23/10
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Tuesday November 23, 2010
Fantasy football talk brings up the question of how the BFMC affects LOB’s team. A caller wants an update on the dude in the white truck that speeds through Jay’s street. Who is the Phillip Rivers of the Mikey Show cast? Woods is now an official Charger fan and Mikey prepares to have his first soda in three months. Breaking news has Korea lobbing bombs at each other in a possible prelude to a North/South war. Mikey arranges for phone-screener Will to pick up his brother Steve at the airport. Woods thinks Sienna and LOB should be flattered if a dude “goes to war” on himself to pictures of the two of them. The girls get upset with a female caller giving Mikey her weight and being forward with him in a flirting way. Mikey calls out Woods after getting tired about hearing how huge The Kid claims his piece is and Woods requests a tape measure-no, a yardstick to go into the men’s room with. The gang loves grabbing fistfuls of McDonald’s fries on the drive home and points out you’re no human if you don’t. A Mythbusters appearance by President Obama creates a round of jokes although M1 Woobie gets Mikey to re-examine his take on it. The Incorporator calls a mobile dog grooming service as “Bryce” with his male dog “Sharon” and life partner “Elton” who argues with him towards the end of the call! Rebecca wants to dress up the boys in girls’ clothing and Mikey wants no part of it. Luke threatens to pee his way out of wearing a dress and creeps on baby Sage. Can an M1 win Mikey’s money? The ladies line opens up for “ask the guys” starting with M1 Michelle wondering about her BF’s Jekyll & Hyde behavior and the next call reveals a mama’s boy in mans’ clothing. What services would you pay extra for examines why Woods doesn’t mind screaming kids on airplanes. Callers call in with their ideas and Mikey tells about having to put his hands on someone else’s kid for knocking the twins around on a playground. A debate about actors having real sex during filming leads to a role play between Billy Bob Esparza and Scarlet Sienna. Woods remains steadfast in his opinion that celebrities don’t slay for real and Jay lets the creeper remarks fly regarding M1s’ moms. Skating (not the cool kind, the kind with ice) With the Stars will have Vince Neil of all people prancing around on the ice. Erin Andrews just can’t shake the creepers as a heavy breathing reporter tries to brush up on his pervert techniques. Woods evokes Mikey’s ire when he claims pesto is for dorks and tastes horrible. Oprah gives away more free crap and Woods and Mikey give away their dignity by admitting they watched it. A classic moment in radio occurs when Oprah announces everyone’s getting a free odorless turn and Woods screams and rips off his shirt like the incredible Hulk!
Bumper Music
| 1. Everyman and Woman Is a Star by The Cult |  |
| 2. No Way Back by Foo Fighters | |
| 3. Digital Bath by Deftones | |
| 4. Rock and Roll by Led Zeppelin | |
| 5. Vitamin R by Chevelle | |
| 6. Rearviewmirror by Pearl Jam | |
| 7. Ring Of Fire by Social Distortion | |
| 8. The Immortals by Kings Of Leon | |
| 9. Any Way You Want It by Journey | |
| 10. Highway Chile by Jimi Hendrix | |
| 11. Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns N’ Roses | |
| 12. Stay With You by Goo Goo Dolls | |
| 13. Lovesong by The Cure | |
| 14. Set The Fire To The Third Bar by Snow Patrol | |
fantasy footballChargers footballKorean conflictmarriage and attractionfast food ritualsprank callsrelationship adviceair travelmovie sex scenessports media misconductOprah giveawayschargers
Lauren O'Brien left 93 fantasy points on her bench, while Mikey and Woods later celebrated Philip Rivers leading the Chargers from a terrible opening to a 35-14 win over Denver. Woods delivered the show's biggest prank as Bryce Torres, calmly feeding eight absurd listener-supplied words to a remarkably patient pet groomer while describing his Shih Tzu, Sharon. Mikey, Lauren O'Brien, and Sienna Farrar clashed over whether outside flirtation is harmless validation, and callers prompted related arguments about sudden commitment reversals and whether families should be separated from other passengers on planes. Sienna also reported the deadly North Korea-South Korea artillery exchange, while lighter debates covered botanical fruit, McDonald's fries, and whether actors ever perform real sex for a role. The final stretch turned sharply uncomfortable with Ted Castillo's remarks about Erin Andrews, then ended in chaos when Woods parodied Oprah Winfrey's Volkswagen giveaway by ripping off his shirt over an imaginary lasagna pan.
What happened, in order
Ninety-Three Points Benched
Lauren O'Brien admitted she never set her lineup, started Donovan McNabb over Aaron Rodgers, and stranded 93 fantasy points on her bench while Kimo kept beating everyone to waiver pickups.
Pumpkin Is a Fruit
Mikey resisted the seed-based definition of fruit until Sienna looked it up and confirmed that pumpkins, squash, zucchini, and cucumbers technically qualify.
Chargers Come Alive
Woods and Mikey relived the Chargers' 35-14 win over Denver, praising Philip Rivers for directing a depleted offense and turning an ugly opening into a rout.
Korea Artillery Exchange
Sienna described North Korea firing roughly 100 artillery rounds at a South Korean island, killing two people and provoking an 80-round response as the hosts worried about escalation.
Does Mikey Still Have It?
After a female caller called married Mikey her type, he said the compliment made him feel desirable while Lauren and Sienna argued that entertaining it was unnecessary and disrespectful to Rebecca.
The McDonald's Fry Ritual
Mikey and Woods lovingly catalogued crispy, soggy, burnt, and bottom-of-the-bag McDonald's fries, including how they hunt strays and refuse to reheat cold ones.
Bryce Torres and Sharon
In the Incorporator prank, Woods called a pet groomer as Bryce Torres and naturally worked meatball, flatulence, jockstrap, jelly bean, moist, doo-doo, steaks, and booger into a story about his male Shih Tzu named Sharon
The Breakup Twist
Caller Michelle asked why her boyfriend abruptly withdrew after talking marriage, and the hosts' commitment-phobia theories collapsed when she revealed he married another woman only months later.
Child-Free Flights
The crew argued over premium child-free airplane sections, with Sienna calling them intolerant, Woods defending parents of crying babies, and Mikey imagining apologizing to the entire cabin.
How Real Is the Love Scene?
Anne Hathaway's comment that some films use real sex launched Mikey, Woods, Lauren, and Sienna into a sprawling argument over whether actors would cross that line for their craft.
The Creepiest Press Question
The hosts recoiled as reporter Ted Castillo asked LSU coach Les Miles about being interviewed by Erin Andrews and then joked admiringly about the man who secretly filmed her through a hotel peephole.
Oprah Frenzy and the Shirt Rip
While mocking the hysteria after Oprah Winfrey gave every audience member a 2012 Volkswagen Beetle, Woods escalated a fake lasagna-pan giveaway by ripping his own V-neck shirt apart in the studio.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienSienna FarrarJayKimoDonovan McNabbAaron RodgersPhilip RiversRebeccaMichelleAnne HathawayTed CastilloLes Miles
29,689 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
I wonder if guys go through this. 6 o'clock is 9 o'clock Eastern. 6 o'clock for us is 9 o'clock Eastern. That's when you can start picking guys up in fantasy football. And I'm awake at 6 o'clock, so I always think I'm good to go. Well, Kimo, who's a DJ over at KSON, is in our fantasy football league. And that guy rises and shines. And the early bird gets that worm every single time. He gets you every time. Every time. It's funny that I've never gotten you because I haven't made a single trade. Or a pickup. Or a pickup. Or set your line up. Man. No, I've only done that twice. Maybe next year just give us 80 bucks. No, I was bummed about my lineup this year. I wasn't excited. Really? She's a phenomenal team. Yeah, she has a great team. Aaron Rodgers, LaShawn McCoy. Yeah, I have a couple really good players. You know what, though? Start Donovan McNabb over Aaron Rodgers like you just did. No, she didn't. Yeah, I did, but that's because I didn't set my lineup. She didn't set her lineup because I forgot. He threw four touchdown passes. Yeah, I know. He got 38 points and Donovan only had 19. How many on your bench did you leave LLB? 93. Oh, my God. I didn't score 93. Every man and woman listening right now that plays fantasy football goes, just went, she left 90.
points on her bench. You want to know what else I put in my lineup? You might as well put your boyfriend Matt Commerce because that's the reason you're forgetting. You're like out to breakfast or whatever. No, I put Jeff Reed who is not even on a team right now that was the Steelers kicker. I didn't put him. I left him there. Yeah, you left him there. I was really busy this weekend. I had brunch. I saved a dog. Brunch. Just BFM seeing real good. I set my lineup on like Wednesday every week just so I don't forget. And I might make a game day adjustment. See, I like to wake up at like eight on Sunday and fiddle around with it. Wow. Welcome to the program, everybody. You can call us if you'd like. Our phone number here is 570-194-9. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. You guys are just cracking each other up today. You guys have me cracking up all the time. That's how we're going to do it today, huh? All right. That's gold. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. And I'm 40 years of age. And can come up with some pretty good reasons to not work out. Guy across from me is Woods. Likewise. You know what we should do? We should do a segment one time where we ask people. We're like...
what's your best excuse to somebody that you can't work out with them? Like if you have somebody that you work out with on a regular basis and they're really good at it and they always keep the appointment and you're like, what can I tell them? What can I tell them? Did you bail on another one? Yeah, but I had a legitimate reason, did I? What was it? I have a lot going on this week. My brother's coming into town tomorrow. Which means you couldn't work out yesterday. You're getting prepared for his visit. No response. Mentally prepared. Well, yesterday I had a lot going on because I had a lot of stuff going on here at work. Ate a lot of chicken wings. We had to go to lunch. We had to go to our show lunch. Hooters, thank you. Woodsy is our sports guy, and he picked where we went to lunch yesterday and chose Hooters. That was great. It was a good time. It was great. It was delicious. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer, otherwise known as L.O.B. She looks great. She's all white today. Yes. Virgin-like L.O.B. I love that. She's got a white scarf. It's not a pashmina, is it, Sienna? It's a pashmina. It is a pashmina. See? Yeah. Depends how much I know. Sienna is our news girl, and she is 25 years old. She's got a daughter named Sage. She's got a husband named Todd. Another daughter named Jenna.
And a daughter named Jenna. A stepdaughter. A stepdaughter named Jenna. And Jay is the father of four. Wow. 47 years of age. He's our executive producer. And screening phones for us today is Will. Will I am. Willem. It's Will. It's Will. What else can I tell you? The word of the day is yams. Yummy. Out. That's right. I'm learning to like him as I get older. Me too. As long as you smother them in sugar, I'm fine with you. Sweet vegetables, out. Don't taste like a vegetable. Come on, pumpkin pie. Is that a vegetable? Of course. Pumpkin's a fruit, isn't it? It's a gourd. It's a vegetable. It's delicious. I like pumpkin pie. It's got seeds. Aren't all things with seeds fruit? There you go, Mike. If that's true, I'll owe you an apology for this. But if it's not...
Do you just make stuff up? No. I think a pumpkin might be a fruit. I thought if it had seeds, it was a fruit. But, yeah, tomatoes have seeds. And tomato is a fruit. Tomato is a fruit. Strawberries. Strawberry. Apples. Richard Simmons. Richard Simmons. Full of seeds. Full of seeds. I'm looking it up. Sienna's looking it up. Yeah, I don't like sweet vegetables. I don't like sweet potatoes. Are there any other sweet vegetables? I really don't like them. You're not going to convince me that a pumpkin. is a fruit. I think it is, bro. I always thought it was a fruit. I did too. Technically speaking, this is what it says. Pumpkin is a fruit because a pumpkin is a fleshy plant that has seeds in it and comes from a flower. There you go. It is from the gourd family. So a squash would be a fruit as well. He's bowing down. Does a squash have seeds? Yes. Yeah. It's a fruit. Delicious fruit. A squash is a vegetable. A zucchini is a fruit. Celery is a fruit, Mike. Yeah, cucumber. Cucumber is a fruit. That's such a weird rule. That ain't right, y'all. I was from Answers.com. Come on now. Does anybody have my back on pumpkins not being a fruit? I guarantee in the next five minutes somebody's going to say, you guys didn't know that pumpkins were not a fruit, you idiots. For sure. The one exception. For sure. 570-1949 is our number. M1.
Captain Mo from San Marcos is on the line. What's up, Captain Mo? Hey, what's going on, Mikey Show? What up? I love the show, man. As soon as that little tune starts, I get a big smile on my face every morning. That's awesome. Got a question for Jay. Uh-oh. The neighbor that was continuing to speed down the streets, I was wondering if he's still doing that or if he's slowed down after you guys' little conversation. He has not come back down on my street. He's scary, man. It is scary, yeah. He's like Wyatt Earp. Yeah, we had a guy that lives on a street next to Jay. Jay will put a cone out on his street to keep people to slow down because, you know, if they're playing with the kids in the street, if they're doing like... I don't know what they do. Stickball? I don't know. It's not Brooklyn 1956. I just want to tell Chris thank you for not coming back down. That's very nice of him. We used to play street hockey and stuff in the middle of the residential street. And we would do the same thing. We'd put cones out and everything. And some people would drive around and go around the block and then only to find cones on that side too. And then some people would just drive right on through. But it definitely slowed people down, man. And I'm definitely...
I would definitely do the same thing that Jay did. That's what you've got to do. Yeah, I mean, why not? It's your street. Game on, game off. Jay Avenue. It's Jay Avenue. It is. Love the show. Love the show. Thank you, bro. Thanks, Mo. Moe Boulevard. Jay Lane. Jay Lane and Moe Boulevard. Yeah, just knock it out of the park because it's your street. It is. Have a ball. It's your couch. It's my street. All right. Couch's in my house. I know. Paid for the couch. Paid for the couch. Belongs to me. I pay taxes on that street. That means you're co-owner. Yes, I'm co-owner. There you go. I'm willing to share. You get the part where it's not in the middle of the street. M1 Herald from San Marcos. What's up, buddy? Good morning, guys. Good morning. Hey, so if anything with seeds is a fruit, then what about a cucumber? Delicious fruit. It's not a fruit. It's a veggie. And a pickle. Cucumber pie? Yeah. Amazing. Exactly. If somebody put cucumbers in a fruit salad, you'd slap them. Absolutely. If somebody put cucumbers in anything, I'd slap them. You know what I mean? Not a fan. Me either.
Tastes filthy. Oh, filthy. Cucumbers? Cucumbers leave the worst taste in your mouth when you're done. You have to soak them in apple cider vinegar. It's the only way I'll eat them. Chopped up onions. Only way I'll eat them. I've tried that salad a hundred times, and everyone's like, you're going to love it. It's the best. And I try it every time, and I'm like, it's filthy. You know what, dude? I love it. This will change it for you. And this is the weirdest thing. Sometimes it's the way that you eat stuff, okay? Like some people say, you ever had such and such right out of the can? Right. Okay, but if you put that same thing in a nice serving dish, it's just gross. I don't want it on a plate with a fork. I don't. I want it right out. If you do what Sienna's talking about and you put it in a plastic container, cucumbers, plastic container, onions. Diced up, peeled preferably. Right. Oh, yeah. And you take your fingers and you dip your fingers and then grab one and eat it. Bring some. It's fine. Will you bring some? Yeah. I want to try it. Oh, it's so, my mouth is watering. M1 Third Shift from Spring Valley. Hey, Mikey. Hey, how you doing? Hey, I just wanted to say thanks, you guys, for working this week because now all of us are off. Most of us have to work. Yeah, man. So we appreciate you guys working. You bet. We're probably one of the only shows or the only show in San Diego that's actually working this week because most people will take this week off as a vacation. But I don't know because I'm not listening. I also wanted to thank LLB for putting out those podcasts for us guys working the night shift. There you go. You got it.
Sometimes stuff breaks or sometimes I go out of town. Yeah. We're out here in the trenches for you, pal. Okay. One last question off subject. On the Mikey Marathon, are we going to be able to just go by and drop off a donation? Yes. Yes, we will make it so that you can do that. You got it, bro. Thank you so much. Thank you. Awesome. So how about the Charger game? Wow. Nice, right? We're beautiful. It was a thing of beauty. It really was. Gorgeous. I'll be honest. The first 20 minutes were not a thing of beauty. Mike and I were texting. I said disgusting. Disgusted. I missed the first 20 minutes. I was disgusted. Because the Broncos, who, by the way, hadn't scored on an opening drive for like six... Six games. Six games in a row. In the first minute and a half, just marched right down the field. Unstopped. Bro, Orton was back in the pocket throwing 30-yard passes, and these guys were... The DBs were 10 yards off these guys. Making catches, I'm like, oh boy, it's going to be a long night. No Sean Moreno would run through these giant open holes, and it looked like the secondary stood still until he got to them. Yes. And then when he got to them, they'd tackle him. And I was like, you need to move up there and just chase that dude that's coming with a football. You just go after that guy. Dude, it was... Here's the thing. When I moved here, I didn't...
really have an NFL team. When I was a little kid, we used to go to the Cowboy game every Thanksgiving. So I kind of grew up watching the Cowboys. And then I was kind of disenchanted with NFL football. When I moved here, Mike goes, you're going to be a Charger fan. And I go, no, I don't know, dude. It's kind of, you know, I just moved here. And he's like, I'm telling you, when I moved here, he gets you. I was off the couch clapping and yelling at the TV last night. And Jamie's like, really? And I was like, whoo! I had the paddles out and everything, man. I was going to town. Hey, listen. I mean, there's something about Just living here, getting to know these guys, getting to know these players, and going through the heartbreak and the ups and downs. I know why Woods loves the Chargers. Why? Phillip Rivers. Number one seven. I can watch that guy. He loves him. Such a gamer. Such a gamer. You know who reminds me of Phillip Rivers? Steve Woods. Steve Woods. No? No. Sienna Farrar. Oh, yeah. She's the Phillip Rivers of our team. Yeah. Did I tell you that? Didn't I tell you he said that? I don't think so. I think it was my blog. Sienna. Maybe I read a blog. Yeah. Sienna is a, she is a natural, like, pissed off winner. Yes. Like, let's have to go here. Thank you. And it's true. It's true. And I love it. You know, she gets fired up like Phillip Rivers. And she's like, let's.
Get this thing. I like to win. I do, too. But anyway, he, last night, is cementing himself. I mean, if this team can get him a piece of jewelry, which they should, they're good enough. Might I say? Hall of Famer? I mean, he's certainly showing it. He's certainly showing it. He's looking good. He, you know, last night he was... And here's the... Here's the most impressive thing about him. Now, I will tip my hat to Mike Vick. Mike Vick is a great player. He has played really well this year. He's also had a lot more weapons. Phillip has had guys off the scrap heap that they're like, eh, they brought him in. Did you see him directing guys last night? He was like, you here, you here, you're in motion, running the show. Steps back, bam, touchdown pass. I mean, just, he's doing it with... You know, no Vincent Jackson. Legadoo Nane's been hurt. Malcolm Floyd's been hurt. Guys off the practice squad. Patrick Creighton, they picked up for nothing from Dallas. And by the way, VJ will be back next week. Yes, sir. Against the Colts. So I wonder what he's going to be like with that in his chamber. Oh, man. You know? But he was doing it with Sergei Awantjouba. I know, but who is that? Ajiratutu. Ajiratutu. Ajiratutu. He's great. And the thing is about those guys, they're stepping up.
Patrick Creighton is stepping up. Oh, yeah. He was a man last night, right? Did you see the stiff arm? Yes. He's running down the sideline. This guy comes up. He puts his stiff arm. He runs an extra nine yards. Yeah, twice. Boom. Bam. Punches a guy, you know, stiff arm in the face. Then another one, bam, and knocks a guy out of the way. It looked like Adrian Peterson is a wide receiver. Yeah, yeah. He's finally getting his shot, man. He couldn't get it in Dallas. He could barely get on the field. And now, I'm telling you, man, watching this guy, I love this guy. Did you see little Dee Sproles last night? Yeah, dude. Check this. Floyd is split to the left. Blitz on. All-out blitz. Rivers has it. Back to throw. Over the middle. Got Sproles. 45-40, 35-30. There he goes. Cutting right to the 15-10-5. Touchdown. 57 yards to beat the Heat. So quick. They realized who they were last night. Yeah. Did you see that little clown, the Broncos head coach, after they scored that first touchdown? That guy was running up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was running up the sidelines like he was a freaking Pop Warner dad. That's so annoying. You know what I mean? He was pumping his fists. His headset fell off. He got tangled in it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to make a post on Facebook. Maybe you settle down, act like you've been there. You don't see Andy Reid doing that bit. Mike Tomlin or any of those guys. You don't see North Turner doing it. Yeah. 570-1949. Let's see. We got M1 food throwing from San Diego. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. What were you calling to say? Well, okay. So I went to the game last night, right? Yeah. So we're about to score a touchdown right before Mike Tolbert got into the end zone, right? So we're like two, three-yard line. And I'm sitting in Lodge level, and I decide I want to stay standing so I can watch him score. There's no one standing in front of me. And all of a sudden, people behind me are saying, hey, down front, sit down. There's no one standing in front of you. And I said, well, I want to see a score, right? So people start throwing food at me. What? Oh, my gosh. I couldn't believe it. I could not believe it. That's weird. That's shocking. I just wanted to see if I was just out of the norm here, but I was just figuring out. You're not out of the norm. I mean, dude, yeah. Somebody's going to score a touchdown. You want to stand up. Yeah. Did you have, like, a six-foot hat on or something like that? A 10-gallon hat? Yeah. Were you dressed as Abraham Lincoln last night? Something. Slash? Yeah. Dude, I see nothing wrong in what you were doing. All right.
Good. Just want to make sure. For sure. They should have all been on their feet. Yeah, it's Monday night football. You're about to punch in the end. Get on your feet. Get on your feet like Gloria Estefan. That's right. What was the final score? Final score was 35-14. Brandon Lloyd caught a late touchdown pass, but it was out of, which helped my fantasy, but it was out of hand at that point. Yeah. Well, it looks like they're starting to turn it around. M1 Herald said, Takes six weeks for the Chargers to get their act together. For some reason, for six games, they don't really do much. And then after that magic sixth week, they just suddenly become on fire. I don't know why. Let me give you this. Their schedule, upcoming, at Indianapolis on Sunday. Incredibly hard. Tough game, but with Vijay coming back, you know, gotta like their chance. I will say this. They do play the Colts well. Yep. Then, Oakland. KC and San Francisco, three very winnable games, before finishing at Cincinnati and Denver. Cincinnati and Denver seem to be the easiest ones for me because for some reason the Chiefs and Raiders seem to be a different Chiefs and Raiders team now. Yep. But who knows? Yeah, Kansas City's been pretty good this year. But they, you know, Chargers owe each of those teams one. Yeah. You know? Yes. Well, it's game 11. It's about time. Yeah. Yeah. They're week 11. They're 5-5.
I'm really glad that the day after tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Woo-hoo! Me too. I really am. I'm ready to eat some food like a pig and not care. I mean, that's the day where, you know, listen, today I'm going to do it up. I'm not going to burden myself with the thoughts of caloric intake. I'm going to go for it. You just have fun and do not think about what you're eating. Don't judge anyone. Can I ask you guys a question? If you say no, I won't do it. What? May I have... diet soda on Thursday. Yes. Yes. I can? Yes. You're a grown man. Holidays are exceptions. Do whatever you want on a holiday. Yes. Because I have not had a soda. I had one drink of a diet Pepsi about three months ago and I took like two sips of it and I felt so bad about it. I bet you're not going to like the taste of it now. I was going to say, you might not like it. I'll tell you what. You know what you need to do? What? Treat yourself to a regular one. Yeah. No, I can't do that. It's too sweet. I don't like it. It's too sweet. It's too sweet. It gets me sick. The sugar. I can't have more than 15 grams of sugar. I get sick, and there's 33 grams in a regular soda. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, when you drink Coca-Cola, it's got 33 grams. So what happens when you drink seven a day? You turn it to you. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. You get fat sores when you do that. That's true.
I have. Listen, this is very disturbing news. North Korea, whom, as you know, are crazy. Yeah. Have decided that they are going to just attack. They're going to attack South Korea. Yeah. Is that right? Well, do you want me to start from the beginning? Yeah. Now, I was listening to a bunch of audio on it this morning, trying to find out as much as I can. And people are saying that apparently the South, they were conducting some military routine drills in the water right off the island. And they were shooting something, and not towards the North. It was like towards the East. And the North had warned them, look, stop. And they're like, look, this is routine drills that we've been doing and we're allowed to do. Right. And the North got... furious as they tend to do and shot a hundred rounds of artillery and hit the North, the South Korean Island. And I mean, killed two people, injured more than a dozen people. And it's like, all right, this is war now. So South Korea's military responded with more than 80 rounds of artillery and their fighter jets went out and countered the fire and it's just not looking good. Listen, and the United States is saying, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. The North Koreans are.
Kim Jong-il, that area freaks me out almost as much as the Middle East because they're kooky, you know? Extremists. Well, the two Koreas are still technically at war and tension is obviously rose a lot sharper after what happened a few months ago when the torpedo went into one of the South Korea's Navy vessels. Remember killing 46 sailors? It's not looking good. The U.S. has obviously offered support. The South Korean government immediately called an emergency meeting of its security ministers. I mean, we'll find out more, but the firing lasted about an hour between both sides. Something has to be done about Kim Jong-il. Yeah, your guy is reckless. Yeah. He's reckless. Yeah. One of the heaviest attacks on the South since the Korean War. Wow. That's right. That is right. I hate to laugh, but do I? I don't. I love laughing. I love to laugh. You know what I mean? I do. Settle down, everybody. How dare you trivialize the war of the North and South Koreans. Oh, really? Somebody's up early today.
What's that? We don't think it's funny. I don't think it's funny. I think the sound effects that Mikey and Jay were playing were funny. Why should I be ashamed of myself? We're not the McNeil-Lair report. All in fun. It's all meant to be sort of a lampoon. It's meant to be satirical, Captain Buzzkill. I'm sure that there are a lot of Korean-Americans listening right now that don't think that's very satirical. So I am now signing my signature to a letter to Mr. Rick R. Jackson. So predictable. Do you guys know toxic metals have been found in something that our kids are using every day? I'll tell you what that is and do some Woods on Sports next. Toxic metals and something our kids are using every day coming up in just a second. The word of the day, yams. Incorporator at 730. Woods, he's calling a pet groomer. It's not really out of the norm. You're going to do Garrett? No, I have a surprise in my bag for you. Real good. Just, you don't want to miss it. I'll leave it at that. Going to do Ask the Guys at 8.
We get to open the phone lines up to girls. It's been amazing how we say it, man. Phone lines flood. Oh, yeah. Girls wanting to know. All right. Give me the straight dirt on this. Jay, me, Woods. You're going to get the real deal, though. You ain't going to get the fake stuff. You watched the game last night, didn't you, Mike? Yes, sir. Did you notice how much Kyle Orton looks like Dave Grohl? Yeah, he does. Twins. One of our M1s posted it. I almost fell out of my chair. He looks just like him. He does. Well, somebody wrote, hey, Kyle, maybe you stick to doing what you know best, singing for the Foo Fighters. That's hilarious. That's awesome. We're going to be telling you about a body scan operator that was caught masturbating. Oh, no, don't say it. I stand corrected. Awful news story. I stand corrected.
Okay, Sienna, toxic metal's been found in something our kids are using every day? Yeah, well, this started over the summer. There was a recall on McDonald's, 12 million glasses that they were selling, which had the characters from Shrek on it. They did it as like a promotional thing for the movie when it came out. Really? And now the recall has gone farther. And a Warner Brothers studio store in Burbank was selling these glasses too. They're basically drinking glasses, which has a comic book character, a movie character, like Superman, Wonder Woman, Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz. If your kids... have one of those glasses with a character on it, you need to be careful because they're finding that they exceed federal limits for lead in these products up to 1,000 times. Oh, wow. Yeah, so not safe at all. They're made in China. Federal limits on these products are supposed to be 0.03%, and it's like between 16% and 30% with lead. So over 88,000 glasses have been recalled. So if you do know that you have one of these glasses in your home, get rid of it. Don't need that in your house anymore. Really bad for your kids. Yeah, Rebecca makes sure that our kids drink out of these. And her too. And her husband. No, dude, I drink out of my sippy. Oh, your sippy cup. I have a glass sippy cup.
My wife. You say it like it's normal. Yeah, it's totally normal with foam around it. It's an adult version of a sippy cup. I have no problems with it. With a koozie around, like a koozie around it. I had a guy write me a really, really cool email, by the way. It was really nice, and he was just saying all these nice things. He says, by the way, if I ever see you shopping at that gay store in the forum, maybe I'll say hi to you. What's the name of the store again? Sur La Taub. Yeah. Oh, wow. I like to go to Sur La Taub. Well, anyway. But I'm all women. All right. So, anyway, yeah, Rebecca drinks out of these, they don't have any PVCs or whatever. Who even knows what they, it's like a word, PVCs in it. It's like saying, yeah, antioxidants. We don't know what they are, what they do. We just know that we, you know, we want plenty of antioxidants and we don't want any PCVs in our plastics. What is it, Ella B? No one knows, Woods. Is it PCV or PVC? I think it's PVC. Is it? I thought that was piping. Something that leeches from the plastic, right? Yeah, there's PBAs too. PBA? Woods uses all that stuff. He's going to live to be 150. He'll outlive all of us. I eat styrofoam. You know what I mean? Whatever. See, I just drink from glass. I drink from natural springs. We had those aluminum glasses growing up. You know those metal ones? Yeah. They found out that it leads to...
Alzheimer's. Really? Alzheimer's disease. That's what he calls it. Yeah, it's actually Alzheimer's, but he calls it Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's. Or Alzheimer's. Maybe I drank from those cups too many times. Yeah. Uh-oh. Maybe you call Woods Wood every once in a while. Yeah, Wood. Hey, Wood. We've worked together 10 months. Hey, Wood. Wood likes this. I'm like, huh? Who's Wood? Clown. And then Jay does what all dads do. He gives you the look like, what? What? What? Oh, what did I say? It's the same thing. It's the same thing. You know who I'm talking about. Wood clown. Sienna, tell us about this guy, the body scanner operator. Oh, my gosh. This guy, he's an operator. During a scanning of young ladies that were going through this new scanner, they're on what they call, what was the team, like netball or something like that. And they were all going, oh, yeah, netball players from a high school. High school student girls going through the scanners. And this pervert is looking at their scans. and doing what he likes to do in private at work. Stop! This is creeping me out. Going to war on himself. Going to war on himself. Got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I mean, they were saying, I don't want to give you the details, but it was not good. You were right. I was wrong. I'll admit it freely. I knew that there would... I had no idea. Of course there's going to be perverts. Listen, you don't think that guys would want to look at pictures of young...
co-eds going through and they could you know look at them naked not their x-rays and you're like no because they could do it to you know dirty movies or you know porno magazines or whatever no this is whoever they want with a porno magazine they have to take whoever the porno magazine offers but if they're a scanning somebody, they get their pick. Whoever they want. Including our mothers, sisters, and daughters. Wives. Wives, sisters, daughters, girlfriends. This guy worked at the Denver International Airport. He should go to prison. It was very obvious what he was doing. Anyone that could see him, it was very obvious. He shouldn't go to jail. He should go to prison. Security dragged him out of his booth and cuffed him. His pants were around his ankles. Wow, really? On the job? What in somebody's psyche makes them think? They look around, they look over their right shoulder, they look over their left shoulder, and they go, pervert. I'm going to do this right now. I can pull this off. Yeah, I can pull this off, literally. And I'm going to get away with it. Yeah. Yeah. Ugh!
So gross. Sicko. I will say it on the air for all the years. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. I had no idea. I mean, you can see every little detail in these body scans. That's the issue. Let me see the picture. It's not the picture of the actual person. It's just a picture of one of those scanners, right? You can see it's a girl. That's not the actual one, right? That's her. No. It's a girl. I mean, you can see. It's a girl that submitted to it and said, you can... post my picture. You can't see her real face. It's in the back of her. Doesn't do a thing for me, but I'm... Some people, absolutely. Well, it's like having x-ray vision to be like, ah-ha-ha. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. It doesn't do anything for me. Oh yes, it does. No, it doesn't. You can see booby. I'm looking at this right now. You can see more than that. It looks like a nudie, you know, nudie. You're Jay. I know you want to see it. Here, I'm going to come get it. Jay's like, oh, I've already got that as my screensaver. My screensaver. Keep your pants up, Jay. It's my wallpaper. I'm going to have to cuff you and drag you out of here. She came running into it. You were green today, so I couldn't see you. All right. Over, under for how many people will be expected at airports during the holiday this...
Thursday. This is what they're expecting at the San Diego airport, Lindbergh Field. Lindbergh Field. Okay, over, under 45,000. Woods. Under. Over. L-O-B. I say under. Sienna? Oh, you know the answer. Yeah. Jay? Over. What is it? 50,000 people going through Lindbergh Field a day. Me too. A day. Oh, wow. Each day this week. Oh, wow. Yeah. Parking lots are going to clean up. I know. I bet there's more Thanksgiving Day because everyone travels on Thanksgiving. My parents are coming on Thanksgiving Day. That was dumb. Oh, why, why, why? That was dumb. Was that dumb? Yes, it was dumb. I don't think so, Sienna, because my brother usually does, and it's quiet because people try to get in before. Yeah, Wednesdays. Oh, I thought it was the busiest day of the year. No, tomorrow's the worst. The day before. The day before. Oh, okay. And that's when Steve's coming. Tomorrow? Yeah. You picking him up? Yeah. Well, I was... I was going to ask my parents, but I won't. I won't. I'll do it. Yeah, you just do it. You hate going to the airport. Well, who doesn't? Make him take a shuttle with, like, five other people. Can you imagine? PayPal, get a cab. I'll reimburse you. Well, he's coming from Arizona. I mean, it's not even that far of a drive. He would. A spring would pop. If you said to him. If I said to my brother Steve, you're getting a shuttle and, you know, you'll have to pay for it.
And it'll probably be about 90 bucks. And you'll be with another five people. A spring would... I'll guarantee you, he would say, I'm not coming. Yeah, he just wouldn't go. I don't disagree with him. His whole family lives here. Yeah, that'd be messed up. Yeah. Oh, I do not want anybody... So, yeah, a lot more than that. What time does he come in, if you don't mind my asking? Like... 6 at night. So it'll be dark. Traffic-y? Yes. And it'll be the busiest. You just have to go to dinner down there. Go with the whole fam. Get there a little early. Find parking. Go get dinner somewhere downtown. I will have to leave at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. No. You'll get home at 11. Just pay for a car to go get him. Oh yeah. That's a great idea. I'll do it for $100. I'll do it too. What? Give me a break. Do it for $40. $85. Cloud9. Cloud9 does it. Come in here, Will. Will's our phone screener. He's a young man. Take your time, Will. Yeah, just radio. Will, how old are you? Wait, wait, wait. How old are you? 23. Uh-oh. He's up to something, Will. Be scared. How much will it cost for Will to pick my brother up? Over and under his 50.
Woods. Over. L.O.B. Over. I say under, no problem. Sienna? Over. Thanksgiving day before. Under, no problem. See, I work in promotions here, and that's the only gig I have, and it's $9 an hour, so $50 is going to be perfect for me. I'm down for like $30? No! No! I'm a cheap guy. You just cost yourself $20. Dude, you can get more. This is Mikey. No, no. I'm not going to lie. Oh my gosh. My question is, would my brother be okay with a stranger picking him up? Absolutely. No, he wouldn't. I don't think so. He wants a nice car. Do you have his number? No. You do not. He wants his brother driving. Will, you're a nice man. You just tell him you're going to send a driver to pick him up. He'll think he's all hotshot. Yeah, yeah. What if I... Yeah, dress up in like a tux. Tuxedo and everything. What if we call him live on the air? We call my brother Steve live on the air. Do it. And I go, hey man, because I love you as much as I do, I'm going to send a driver for you. Yeah. If you just say that. Your brother's all growns up, you know. I'm all growns up. I can handle, you know.
It's one to eight. Don't expect it every time. Yeah. I'm rolling out the red carpet, but only because... Only because it's a special year. It's Thanksgiving. Special year. But you become in the FM949 vehicle too. Yeah, that's the worst. The Bertha, the big van. Yeah. They always are. It has no windows. It's the creepiest thing. Listen, he says he'd do it for $30. I will easily give him $50. $100. As you should. Ab-so- And your brother will probably tip him on top of that, right? Yeah, as long as he thinks he's a driver. How about I say that? I'm like, hey, dude, just be cool. Give the guy a little tip. Juice the guy a little bit. I got the flat. I got the flat fee. I've already paid him, in fact. Yeah. You don't even have to worry. Just juice the guy. Yeah. 20, 30 bucks. I'll be like, yeah, you can do it. Okay, you guys be dead silent, so it'll seem like I'm calling him on a break. Right. Okay. And I'll pretend that it's just like, you know. Oh, I hope we get him. I just hope he doesn't cuss. I hope he doesn't cuss. He's a cusser. Yeah, so you guys. have to be super quiet, okay? Okay. You know what, Jay? Hey, Jay. Did you already try? He didn't answer. He didn't answer? Damn it. His phone is off. We'll try it later because he'll turn it on and we'll do that bit. I'll try the, you know, I'll pretend that he's not on the radio. Yeah. And I'll be like, hey dude, what's up? You know, just have a normal conversation with him and be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I was surprised.
Don't usually do this. Don't tell Rebecca. It's huge. I'm going to send a car for you. I love it. I love it. We've got to get him on the phone. He will be in on it if you sell it like that. Absolutely. There's no chance he's listening right now, is there? There's a chance. But he doesn't listen. I know that he will, from time to time, listen. I just don't know if he is right now. You know what I'm saying? M1, Kristen from La Costa. Are you there? What's up? Sorry, I'm cracking up. The perverts that I have a problem with. The perverts at the scanners. I thought you meant me. I was like, no, no, no, no. The guy's a creepy pervert. I don't want him driving me from the airport. No, but, oh, my God, I can't believe what that guy was doing. And that's exactly what I have a problem with. I mean, I don't have a problem with security. I mean, the measures are in place. They're being implemented. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's almost like you're saying we have to be okay with being violated. No, no, no. Listen. See, my whole thing has been I'm fine with people saying no to going through the scanners. If you don't go through the scanners, you get a pat down. And you get a pat down, by the way, by a female. A woman only gets patted down by females. They won't even allow a male to pat you down. That makes my mouth water. And so if you want, you can forego the scanning thing. Pat-downs are more invasive now, aren't they? Well, it's a woman that's doing it, and I've seen a woman pat my wife down. You keep saying that. No, no, no. Listen, I went through a scanner, and you know what? Now that I think about it, we went through the scanner, and my wife went through the scanner, and in addition to going through the scanner, she also got a pat-down. The three of us went, and they let me go through and scanned you and Rebecca. Yeah. Which is hysterical. I was going to get four flights. this uh in the next week so i'm thinking of doing both and see which one's worth or better or whatever what would lob and sienna do lob well i'm not going through that things i don't
trust it, so I would take the pat down if I have to. Well, but say, you don't trust it because of the health implications? Yeah, but even so, I don't like those pictures. You don't want anybody seeing your bits. I don't want any part of the scanners. You don't want people seeing. Sienna? Yeah, each day I'm getting a little bit more out on the scanners, but the pat down, if it's a girl, I really don't care. I don't care at all. I don't care about a pat down from a guy. Are you ladies not the least bit flattered that a guy is going to war over your pictures? No. You are sick. Just the least bit flatter? No. Trust me, they are anyway. Oh my gosh. You should either be married to me or I should be getting paid for it or something. Yeah. Only my friend would. Yeah. I'd flatter. Would have a mind that would go, it's a bit flattering, isn't it, ladies? Anything but. Yes. What a privilege. That guy who would do something like that, all he wants is any kind of girl. It could be a grandma and he'd probably do it. That's not true. You can hold these TSA guys and agents to a higher level, you know? And really, for them to be able to do that, it's just wrong.
I mean, I'd rather have the National Guard do it because at least there's a chain of command. If they do something like that, their ass is grass. Now, wait a minute, Kristen. So are you saying that you will go through the body scanner? You know what? Honestly, I live life on the edge, so I think I'm going to do both. Question. Now, what I'm curious about is your level of body security. Well, as I told Will, I just lost 32 pounds, so I'm back down. Yeah, basically, you're like the woman that goes, I'll pose for Playboy because I just slimmed in. Yeah, so what she'll do is she'll walk into the body scanner and she'll put her hands up and kind of do the runway turn and be like, right, right? How'd you do that? I dropped my keys. Yeah. How'd you do that, by the way? I would not put that past myself. How did you lose 32 pounds, by the way? Oh, I did HCG. What's that?
Is that human growth hormone? No, that's what you take to get off the growth hormone. It's the pregnancy hormone. I'm in. Yeah, it's complicated. Google it, but it really works, and I've kept it off for a long time. If you've lost the 30 pounds, and you may be brave enough, don't everybody kill me in the studio. How much do you weigh now, Kristen? Don't answer, Kristen. Don't answer. Don't answer. I'm 125. There you go. Wow, foxy. Wow. That's really cool. Send us a picture. Oh, Jesus. Just so we can see. You are just my type, but you're married. You're a good Christian guy. You're four years old, same age as me. But you're taken. Yes, I am taken to a wonderful, wonderful lady. Oh, wow. Sienna did not. She didn't like it. I didn't like that she did. Why? Why? Because. Makes me feel so good. Women don't need to tell. Can I just say this, though? Can I just say this? I'm out now. Have you ever seen me, though? Are you mad at me? No, no, no. Kristen, have you ever seen me? I'm not mad at you. You ever seen me? Kristen? Yeah? Have you ever seen me? No. Yeah, you would change your mind. It's funny because he's fat. Mike, stop it. You would change your mind. You're your own worst critic. I understand, but I'm also a realist. All right, thank you, Kristen. Appreciate it. Bye, guys. Love you. Bye. Love you. Sienna, here's the thing. What? As a man, I want to feel like I could still prowl. No. Yes. I want to squeeze him.
L.O.B., please walk me through this. Lauren's just as mad as I am. Why are you guys mad? Wait, wait, wait. I want you to hear me out on this and see if I can convince you. And if I can't, that's fine. Okay? Okay. I will not cheat. You know, I love my wife and everything. Yes. But it's tough for a guy when you want to feel like you can still be attractive to a woman. In my mind, women don't find me attractive. I'm being honest with you, okay? I'm just telling you the truth. In my mind, women don't find me attractive. And so when a woman says, oh yeah, you're taken, but you'd be perfect for me, there's something inside of me that makes me stand up a little bit, puff my chest out a little bit, and say as a male lion, oh look, I still have a mane. That's not what bothers us. A peacock. It's that she said it. For me. Okay, so you don't have a problem with me. Enjoying it, do you? No, but you can get that same enjoyment out of like you telling a joke and a bunch of women giggling and you going. No, I can't. Still got it. No, I can't. In the same way that you can't tell a joke and feel pretty. You can't tell a joke and feel pretty. I can feel liked. Yeah, and I do feel that.
But what I want to feel is handsome. I want to feel sexy and hot and foxy. I don't want anyone to have to say, and I'm not married, but. I see you're good looking. It doesn't matter. You know it. Guys call three times a week and go, man, I would do anything to be with L.O.B. No, but if someone says to me, knowing that I'm in a relationship, I would, but then it gets to like, things are like clicking in your head like, oh, but what if I, so if I wasn't, well. It's like chum in the water. Yeah, exactly. Okay, but I can tell, you know me. I always shoot from the honesty, right? I can tell you from the honesty, I'm not going, huh, I want to hook up with this lady. You're not, but a lot of people are. Yeah, yeah. But what I am doing is I'm like, Ooh, wow, that made me feel so good. It made me feel like. You're allowed to feel good. I'm not mad. I mean, I understand why you feel good, but I just think it's unnecessary. Why do you need that? Because it makes me feel good. We all need it. We all need it. But your wife, I'm sure, tells you. Yeah, but she has to. No. No, she doesn't. Yes, she does. And listen, I love Rebecca. She does all the things that meet my love languages and everything. But she doesn't say to me, you're Foxy.
You're sexy. Because I'm not. But the thing is, is that I still want to feel desired. I'm not mad at you. You should communicate that to her and garner all of your puffing of your chest from your wife. No, that is false. I did fist bump for you. Now you're making me feel weird. LLB, I don't know. Mikey, you did nothing wrong, pal. Nothing. By feeling good? By feeling good. No, you didn't do anything wrong, I don't think, by feeling good. Yeah, you can feel good. But it just, it was unnecessary. Yeah, I can feel good. It's not very respectful to Rebecca. It isn't? It's okay. She goes, Mikey, you're just my, she was being sweet. Mikey, you're just my type, but you're taken. Woodsy, chicks think completely different than we do. When these two girls heard that, I could see in both of their faces, like, Who do you think you are? Yeah. No, not... And it wasn't like that. It was just like, ugh, I don't like that scenario. I don't like the way it feels. It started going bad to me when you said, can I ask him what you weigh? It was like, oh, come on. Oh, because... Oh, come on with that. Because it meant that I was creeping? No, not creeping. You wanted to know that an attractive girl... What I wanted to know... No, no, no, but that came before she said that. What I wanted to know, the reason that I wanted to know the weight thing...
was because she feels comfortable letting somebody body scan her. And I'm like, who's that? Because I'm not. I am not that guy. Woods is. I don't care. Well, he doesn't care because Woods feels that he's well endowed. He doesn't feel anything. I think it's just like a man and a woman thing. We're going in the men's room. Grab your tape measure, pal. And you're going to prove it. I've been hearing this for so long and I think it's a bunch of... Ladies, call in. Really? You had the pleasure. Oh, my gosh. I don't even know what to say right now. Me either. Me either. You said it. My wife's kicking me. Well, of course. Metaphorically. Creep. I didn't say it. You said it. I didn't say, ladies, call in. You're both creeps. How am I the creep? Oh, my gosh. We really talking about this? Well, listen, to me, this is a fascinating conversation because I do love the difference between men and women thinking. I love the difference between men and women thinking. When she said that, to me, it made me feel like, oh, wow. It was nice of her to say. But I totally went, when she said, I've never.
I've never seen you. Oh, yeah. Well, you got Captain Buzzkills over here. No, you're allowed to feel good. We just have to stick up for your wives. I didn't see the problem. For a while, I didn't even know what you guys were mad about for a second. Yeah. Listen. Because you're a dude. There is no woman. Never mind. Women be crazy. Now, listen. I know we give. When we come back, this is crazy. I know we give Obama a hard time for. Going on random TV shows and when he should be fixing the country and everything. But when we come back, I have a promo from a television show that even the most rabid Obama supporter cannot deny is freaking outrageous. It's literally an outrage. Now, maybe somebody is an Obama supporter and they hear me play that he's going to be on the show and you go, please defend it. Defend it when I play it. Please defend it. Next.
I want to thank an M1 for telling me that this is Matt White and that the song is called Love. Because I heard it on a television commercial and went, I don't know who this is. I don't know what. I love it, though. Mickey D's, too. It's the Mickey D's commercial. It's a double good. Mickey D's. It is. Like, of all things, they're changing. McDonald's is changing their advertising. their advertising approach. They're taking more of an Apple. I was just going to say they're trying to get the iTunes crowd. They're trying to get the iTunes crowd, and so they're going like, we're not fun family anymore. Well, we're still fun family, but we're also hip. We're hip. They got me and you, don't they, pal? Oh, yeah. They got us right by the boys. Yeah. Love that place. Why does it taste so good? It tastes so good. Crack cocaine. Yeah. Food.
Salty fries. Salty fries and cheeseburgers. I can taste one right now. Nuggets. I can taste a McDonald's fry. I love crispy fries, but I like every once in a while the soggy ones that are just floating around. Me too. You know what? How weird is it that we love the crispy McDonald's fry, but we really appreciate the occasional soggy one. I even appreciate the little burnt. The little burnt turd in there. Yeah. Those are the best. The bottom turd. It's a different taste. It's a little bit of variety. Yeah. It's like an American pork rind. Yeah. If I got a bag full of soggy ones, I'd be like, what the heck? What is this? What the heck? Couple in there, though, you're like, I see you. I see you. I see you. And you're getting it, too. I'm going to get you. I'm going to get you real good. I might even save you to the end. Yeah. But you get all coated in salt real good. That's right. There you go. Oh, they're so good. Just imagine right now in your head taking out that red. And when I said red, it just revealed what a pig I am because only the larges are red. How do you know that? Because I'm a fool. I think the mediums are red too.
I don't know. I think only the small gets the white paper bag. The white paper. It's not even worth it. Oh, yeah, the white paper. Who goes small? The white paper, I can take the whole thing and go and eat the whole trough of it. Paper at all. Paper at all. But I just imagine taking that, and here's what you do. You take your finger, your index finger, and your thumb, you reach into the bag, and you grab the high lip of the red. Oh, yeah. Fry holder. Yes. You pull it out and you grab it in your left hand and you can feel the heat. Oh, it's so good. And then you put your hands on those fries and they're piping hot. Sizzling almost. Sizzling. And they're covered in salt. Yeah. They taste so good. I'm so scared of them getting cold by the time I get home. Me too. I like the blind search. I like the blind search where you reach into the bag and you're like, got you. How about this bit? You lose some in the bag. And you're like feasting around in the bag. You're like search and search. You're like, oh, look at that. That's a jackpot right there. You think that you're done, but you find more. I get now when they ask, what kind of dipping sauce would you like?
I say, can I have one of each? No! Because I don't know what I'm in the mood for that day. I need to try each one. My favorite deal is when you're getting somebody else's food as well. They get french fries and you're picking it up for them. You eat a little out of theirs. They're not going to know. What are they going to know? And when you do this too, you get the bag, you open the bag up. And it always ticks me off because I have to... push aside the napkins that are covering the goods. The napkins shouldn't be on top because now they're covered with salt and grease. Put them on the side. But you reach through that and you push it to the side. I go survivors first. I like to go to the bottom feeder fries. The ones that have fallen to the bottom. And I scavenge those first. So that I know that they're gone. And at the end of my fries, I don't have anything to stress about. Right. Yeah. I don't have to be like, did I miss anything? Because I know I've got every last survivor. Oh, no. Now there's a cold, chewy one at the bottom of the bag. Right. Okay. I'll eat it. Do you think that there is one human being that doesn't understand what we're talking about? No. I don't think so.
What if there was that one person that's like, I don't really like those fries. I don't want to know you. I don't want to know you. You're a clown. What is your guys' technique if they do get cold? Because I've tried the microwave and it just ruins them. What do you do? Listen, I just want to make this really clear to every M1 that's listening right now. Never, I repeat, never heat fries. Never. You just have to do with what happens? Yes. Just eat it. But is there anything worse than cold fries? I don't know. I can eat them. At the beginning of a meal, I dropped a French fry between the seats right as I was starting to eat, and I ate my entire meal, and I was done with the French fries, and I was like, look down at the French fry between the seats, and I was like, okay. I don't want it to smell. I haven't forgotten about you down there. I'm going to get you. Yeah. I'm sorry, but I'm getting you. Yeah, I'm going to get you. Don't think you're an escapee. I'm just saving you for later. Why are those McDonald's fries so different? Because they are. They put crack in them. They're different. I think they're made with love. Maybe that's it. It's such a silly game we play. Hey, I hope McDonald's now pays us a million dollars for what we just said. Imagine just that metal scooper scooping up the fries. Either a million dollars or a lifetime worth of fries. Oh my gosh. Okay, I'll ask you another one.
And then we'll move on. I promise. I don't want to. But do you guys ever go, if you're inside of a McDonald's store and you're watching them when they make them, I know this is probably just me, but if they give what I feel is not an appropriate once over with salt, I'm irritated. Really? Like, okay, so what I mean is they take the fries out of the oil and they pour it into the trough and they take the salt thing and they just go real quick and I'm like, I've never really noticed the salt. I want appropriate salting. I don't like to salt my own fries. I don't like to salt my own fries. No, I want them perfect. Opening that little packet that rips the wrong way. That packet is the worst. Because once you open the white paper packet... You have to then figure out how to somehow physically make two little holes because they close up when you pinch them off. Yes, they close up. You pinched them off. That's. That's. I just like watching that little metal scooper that they use to put into the thing. I'm like, get a little more. Just tip the scales. It's the truth. I want a caramel sundae to go with those fries. Oh, and an apple pie. 570-1949 if you have an opinion on.
Those fries are never filled enough. Fries. Overflow. Okay. So, let's see. 730 is the incorporator. We have Ask the Guys coming up at 8 o'clock, where you call in. It's ladies only get to call and ask a question of us dudes. Me, Woods, and Jay. And we did not get to sports, so let's do it. And then... we will play you this audio of Obama, which even the most strident Obama supporter I want to hear from. Yeah, Woods on Sports brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Well, we talked about it in the open a lot, but the Chargers were absolutely dominant last night against the Denver Broncos. And, of course, my boyfriend, Phillip Rivers, was great. 15-24. Only threw for 233 yards because that's really all he needed to do. Four touchdowns, one pick. Here he is talking about on the mentality of playing at this time of year. Cut to. You know, we're in a lot of ways in playoff football already. You know, we almost can't afford a step back at this point, especially this game tonight. We knew you can't go to 0-3 in the division. This was, as you guys like to call, a must win.
Absolutely. Yeah, it was. And they did. And they did. Real good. Really good. Well, yesterday, right when we went off the air, there was a huge announcement coming out of Minnesota that Brad Childress has been fired by the Minnesota Vikings. He is out after a 3-7 start. They spent a ton of dough on Brad Favre to come back. The whole thing went... South very quickly. And so what they did is, this is the second NFL coach to be fired midseason. Wade Phillips from the Cowboys was let go, and they're 2-0 since he was let go. So the Vikings hoping for a new spark. So they promoted defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier. He's actually interviewed seven times for NFL head coaching positions. He's never gotten the job. And he has already made a call on who his starting quarterback will be, cut three. Brett's a tremendous quarterback. He's been a leader of our football team in the year and a half that he's been with us. there are some things that we have to do as a group to help support Brett, and that would be my message to our football team. But Brett Farrer will be our starting quarterback on Sunday. There you go. Wow. Yeah, he's dropping the hammer already, and it should be interesting to see how this plays out, see if they respond to him and rise to the occasion. They're pretty much out of the playoff hunt at this point at 3-7. Also, in some more football news, Vince Young, the much maligned quarterback from the Tennessee Titans, threw a little tantrum after the game on Sunday.
threw his shoulder pads and his jersey into the crowd. Yeah, guy likes to cry. Walked out of a post-game speech that his coach was giving, which is never a good move. You know, walked past a teammate, brushed him off, and out into the parking lot. DBB, Vince, don't be a baby. And so he is done for the year. They've already said that he needs season-ending surgery on his thumb. Now, somebody asked Coach Fisher, do you think he'll get a second opinion? Coach Fisher said, Well, quote, he may want to get a second opinion. He may want to get two dozen opinions. One doctor said for his position, our doctor said it needs to be fixed. So I think he's kind of done with VY. They're both under contract for next year, and the owner, Bud Adams, has said, hey, you guys work this out. You're both under contract. We're paying you a lot of money, both of you. Work it out and figure it out. But people are saying Vince Young's time in Tennessee may be done. Looks like it. And then finally, Sean Merriman, who... was cut by the Chargers, and he's gone to the Buffalo Bills, missed his third straight week of practice, and they are now wondering if he is even going to suit up this year at all. Oh, my gosh. Poor Merriman. Really? Do you want to play football? Poor Bills. Yeah, poor Bills. Exactly. Yeah. A waste of time. That's what's on sports, buddy. All right. I'm going to play you now a promo that's been running on television for the show.
Mythbusters. President Barack Obama on an all-new Mythbusters, Wednesday, December 8th at 9, only on Discovery. Right before that, I think he's going to be on Yo Gabba Gabba. Yeah, why not? He and Michelle are going to be on Wipeout, too, which will be really funny. I heard that he's got a cameo on CSI Miami. I think he's one of the detectives. Yeah, for sure. He's going to be on the next season of Jersey Shore as well. Dancing with the Stars. No, Skating with the Stars. Yeah, Skating with the Stars. All right, so here is my... you know, thing. Everybody has been a little irritated at the overexposure of President Obama. They thought, you know, when he got into office that he was going to start the change. You know, that's what he said, change. And, you know, hope. He's hoping for change. Hoping for change. So he got in there and everybody thought that there would be some big changes because he promised a lot. And not only has there not been changes, but we've gone south and things have gotten much worse.
And there are still Obama supporters. Now, what I want to know, are there any Obama supporters that hear this, that he's going to be on Mythbusters, and they go, what's the problem? It's a big deal. It's a big deal. You know, because a lot of people, you know, I guess the critics would say, maybe fix the economy, you know, instead of going on The View and, you know, something about, you know, the Belmar, maybe. Chelsea lately can wait. You really worried about Archimedes, really, right now? Mythbusters. You really worried about Archimedes on Mythbusters? I just don't get it. I don't understand. Nor do I. What I really don't understand is advisors going, it's a good idea, do it. Have a ball. I thought maybe they would do him trying to prove that he's a U.S. citizen or something. That's the only reason I'd watch. Well, that would be a good myth to bust. I'd like to know. Some people say, oh.
We have a phone line right now. Oh, no. Let's see. Maybe it is somebody that says, you know. I'll tell you what. Nothing has been better for the image of George W. Bush than the election of Barack Obama. Yep. Agreed. Everybody thought he was the biggest dope in the world. Maybe. Maybe. But, you know, you got to admit, it ain't so great right now of what's going on. Neither one of them. for different reasons, seems to have had the greatest presidency. Yeah. M1 Scott from Temecula. Hey, man, I don't mind one bit if he's on Mythbusters, man. You do not. No problem at all. In fact, you know, the more busy he is doing that stuff, the less busy he can be staying out of my life, you know? Okay. Okay, now, but you don't say you want to see him working on the economy and all that stuff? Any work he does on the economy is just going to mess it up worse. Haven't you figured that out? You're like, hey, man. If they would step back and all go on Mythbusters for about 10 years, we'd figure it out ourselves. You're like, hey, go on Baywatch, bro. Oh, my gosh. All right, thank you. 570-1949. I thought we may get this call. And we have. Ladies and gentlemen, M1 Whoopi is on the line.
From Pittsburgh. Are you calling from Pittsburgh, Whoopi? Oh, look at you. Nice. She's listening online. Big time. Hope you don't run into Roethlisberger at a bar, Whoops. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I love you, though. I love you, though. What part of me says I can't handle this? You would take him down. You would go Richard Seymour on him. She would take him. So what do you think? What do you think, Whoopi? Clearly, look. Look. Michael. Michael. We're going to be friends today. All right. We're going to be friends today. Yes? He's doing this for his daughters. Oh, wow. No, because they are fans of the show. And he's trying to, you know, this is going to sound weird coming from me, but he's taking advantage of an opportunity that allows him to do something that his daughters enjoy. No. What if they like the Jonas Brothers book? His daughters are so young to be into Mythbusters. I know. They're smart. Jasper's into it.
Hey, you know, my son's into a lot of different things, too. Kids are interested in different things. And as a family, before he became president, this is something that he could share with his children. Wow. He doesn't get that many opportunities. Now, do I agree with it? Not necessarily, but I can understand it from a parent point. of you. Wow. I can see that. I can see her point. Well done, Whoopi. Well done. You should be working for him. Absolutely. You should be working for him. Maybe she is. Because I'll tell you what, if I was the U.S. president, you don't think I'd parlay that in some Yankee tickets real good? No kidding, right? In the dugout. Everyone is pointing their fingers at him, though. Like, why are you doing a Ryan Seacrest show? What are you doing on The View? And then he just continues to keep doing it. He does. So he's not going hunting with his buddies, but he's going to do this. Well, that's true, Jay. Bush was hunting. I completely agree. Someone in his office needs to be saying, why are we going on this show? There are choices that aren't getting made. Yeah, but they get time off as well. One show maybe, but now he's done a few now. If I see him on Wipeout, I'm going to freak out. Well, you're going to. Yeah, he's going to take our spot. Thank you, Woob. We love you. All right, here's what we're going to do. We're going to do Win Mikey's Money. And so we're all going to ante up, and we'll see what we got.
and we'll play Win Mikey's Money. So if you want to do this, call us right now, 570-1949, and we will play a little game that we call Win Mikey's Money. We'll also do the Incorporator coming up next. Woodsy's going to be calling a pet groomer. So actually, yeah, right now, instead of doing Win Mikey's Money, call us with the Incorporator words. Funny words. Have fun. Well, wait, wait, wait. Real words. Real funny words. Yeah, real words. Right. Because if you say funny words, they'll say yabba-dabba-doo. Right. So it's got to be real words. Give an example of what you think would be something that you can incorporate into a sentence. God, you put me on the spot. Moccasin. Yeah, goober. There you go. Goober is a funny word. Goober? Yeah. Okay. Goober. I would have thought you would kill me. Moccasin is funny. Okay. You know what's not funny? Conductor. Conduit. Oh, these are really convoluted rules. Capacitor. Just make it up as you go. Funny words.
Come on. Maybe you pick the words. No. I don't. You know what? Call in with whatever you want, because I'm going to knock it out. I like it. I like that. I'm going to knock it out. I like it. Nothing dirty. It's next. I'm going to be doing the Incorporator here in just a moment, and it will be a mobile pet grooming place. We'll explain to you exactly what the Incorporator is in just a couple of minutes. Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, Belmont Park has been saved from bankruptcy. bankruptcy, at least for now. Now...
Belmont Park has been here forever, and the owner of it, apparently the city just raised his rent by 700%. If you're new to San Diego, Belmont Park is the place at the beach where the roller coaster is. In Mission Beach with the old roller coaster. It's called the Giant Dipper, I think. Oh, yeah, just a great place. I can't imagine it closing. So he may be facing shutdown. They're saying that the landmark will stay open at least until February 11th. Also, tonight is the second night finale of Dancing with the Stars. Oh, wow. Jennifer Grey, Kyle Massey, and Bristol Palin. the top three. Jennifer Grey said that she will not be doing her dirty dancing lift. Which I don't know. I've never seen it so I don't know what that is. Big moment. It is the best and that's like an immediate win. And finally Prince William and Kate have decided that they will be getting married April 29th at the Westminster Abbey. By the way, the Mikey Show is doing the Mikey-thon on December 16th and 17th. And it's a 28-hour marathon broadcast. No commercials. And it's just us. And yes, we'll be here the whole time. Yes, we will. We'll be awake the whole time. We do this all for Rady Children's Hospital and their ADI, their Autism Discovery Institute. And we will be doing our version of...
Mystery Science Theater 3000. And one of the movies that we're watching is Dirty Dancing. Correct. And so there you go. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, the National League MVP was announced yesterday for the Major League Baseball players. Joey Votto from the Cincinnati Reds had an absolutely phenomenal year. He got 31 first place votes. Albert Pujols got one first place vote. So Joey Votto wins in a landslide. Well deserved. And then we talked about the story. yesterday about Richard Seymour bee-slapping Ben Roethlisberger. And he did. He nailed him right to the ground. And so it's come down from the league. He'll be fined $25,000 for his actions. No suspension. All right, I'm leaving the room. Yes, you are. Get out of here. Get. Get. Which has about 50 ways of saying get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get, dude. Monkey. 570-1949 is our number. We're going to be doing Win Mikey's Money in just a bit. Right now we're doing the Incorporator, and here's how it works. Woods leaves the room. We've taken your calls during the commercial break of what words you want Woods to incorporate into this phone call that he's going to be making to Pet Love Mobile Grooming, dog grooming. We call a place, it's out of town.
You call us and give us words. This all came about because Woods used to do this for fun back in his office, in his old job. He would be on a phone call with a client and his buddies would come over and whisper to him words. And he would have to very naturally incorporate those words into the conversation that he was having. And that's what he's going to do for you on the air. The cool thing is, is that you'll be able to hear Woods. The person on the phone will be able to hear Woods. They won't hear me. I've turned my mic off to them so that they can't hear me feeding him the words. And here are the words. The words come to us from M1 Melissa, and she gave us the word meatball. M1 Steve, flatulence. M1 Dogbait, jockstrap. M1, is it Dom? It's either Dom or Dem. Dom. I'm sure it's Dom. Or Don. Or Dern. Or Don. One of the above. It starts with a D. And it's jelly bean. M1 Micah. I like jelly bean. M1 Micah. Moist. M1 Carver. Doodoo. M1 Snakebait. Steaks. M1 Longshanks. Booger. All right. Woods can come in. You can go in. Are you ready, my friend? You know that. He gets the first. You know that. We give him the first word.
We will always give him the first word. The first word is meatball. He's taking off his jacket getting ready. Warming up. He really gets worked up. And I get excited. They can hear woods. They can't hear me. Yes. Good morning. What is your name? This is Kara. Kara, my name is Bryce. I have a few questions for you. I've got a Shih Tzu. And his name is Sharon. And he's my little meatball. And I am trying to get him cleaned up for Thanksgiving. I'm having a lot of friends over. Oh, absolutely. Well, would you like to go ahead and schedule an appointment? You know, I would. I'm a little hesitant. Just because, you know, I like to invest a lot of time into my pets. And I'm sure you know you're a pet lover. I'm a pet lover. Now, here's the thing about Sharon. He has a lot.
This is so embarrassing. He has a lot of flatulence. I don't, I'm not kidding. Is that going to be a problem for you as you groom him? Jockstra. No, I mean, we deal with that sort of thing, actually, all the time. I figured, you know, you're a professional, and, well, okay, so what I want to do, I'm dressing, you know, he's a little shih tzu, Sharon, and I like to dress him up in certain things. I've dressed him as a football player. He even had a little jockstrap. He is the light of my life. Sharon is amazing. Well, you definitely take good care of Sharon. Okay, great. Yeah. Okay, so what type of services do you render? Okay, so we come to your home. We have a van. We have stainless steel tubs. We have blow dryers. It's kind of like a mini spa for your pets. Okay. Now, I love the spa. I can only imagine how my little jelly bean Sharon's going to feel when you're done with him. Oh, sure. Moist.
Well, we have, we offer like a free, we have, I'm sorry, like a bath. We do a shampoo and conditioner. And we actually choose the shampoos and conditioners based on your pet skin type and hair color. That's great. And hair type. That's great. He's got short hair. I mean, he is, you know, obviously, he likes to get in the kitchen with me while I'm cooking. Like, I'm making... I have a recipe this year for Thanksgiving for probably the most moist turkey that you will ever have in your life. And I, you know, I throw little scraps and stuff down to him. He loves it. Oh, that's precious. Okay. Yeah. So, yeah, we do haircuts. We can even do like a bow and bandana that we would let you choose out and pick out for Sharon. Okay. We do nail trimming, ear cleaning. And we can also do like a full checkup as well. Oh, so you can like do check his doo-doo and stuff like that? We do actually, yes. Steaks. Okay. Now, I'm a little hesitant about having someone to my home. Can I meet you in like the grocery store? I've got to go to the grocery store. I've got to pick up steaks and turkey and chicken. And so could you do it like while I shopped?
I haven't really done that sort of thing before. I'm not sure if we could do that. But we could definitely set up a time that might be convenient for you. And we can meet Sharon and even have him run around our van and see if he's comfortable. Now, I'm telling you, Sharon is, he's a booger. I mean, I'm not even kidding. He is a little booger. You're going to have to, you know. You may even have to tie him down. I'm not sure. I mean, he is a booger. Oh, he would never do that. Okay. Well, I'm going to give you my name. My name is Bryce Tors. And you, you know what? I'm going to call you back. I'm going to talk to my partner. And we're going to see if this is going to work for us. But I think we can get it done. Bryce, I don't want to do it if it's too much. It's not going to be too much. It's not going to be too much. Ask how much it is. And what was your name again? I'm Tara. Tara, thank you so much for all your help. Ask how much it is. Shut up. You're welcome. Thank you. I don't want to do it if it's too much. I'm sorry. He is unbelievable. Ask how much it is. Just shut up, Elton. No, I'll call you later. My name is Bryce Torres. When I call, you'll remember me. Will they hurt me? Shut up. Thanks so much, Bryce. You're welcome, Tara. Thank you.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I am so uncomfortable. Oh, my God. Sweating so bad. Your dog is a boy. His name is Sharon. I love that. He's a little meatball. Sharon. That little jelly bean. That little booger. Such a booger. Elton. Yeah. Oh, my. She was so nice. Yeah. She was. She's like, we're not going to tie him up. That was the nicest woman. Yeah. She's very professional. She was starting to sniggle there at the end a little bit. Elton. Yeah. Elton. What was your last name, Bryce? Bryce Torres. Did you make that up? I was in my head. I'm like...
Woods is getting vindication for some guy named Bryce Torres that he's always been mad at. That's what I thought. Hang on just a second. My partner's upset at me. George Michael, stop it. Liberace, shut your mouth. Adam Lambert, get out of here. Clay Aiken, stop. Stop it. Don't do that. Your male dog's name was Sharon. That's awesome. Sharon. That little guy, Sharon. is something else. He's a booger. She kept repeating his name and I was telling you. Hang on a second. My partner's yelling something at me. Melissa Etheridge, don't. Ricky Martin, go! Indigo Girls, stop it. My partner Indigo Girls is bothering me so bad right now. Word of the day, by the way, is yams. Okay? You get so sweaty when we do the Incorporated. I'm sweating so bad. I would be too. Stressful. Nerve-wracking. I'm stressed for him. Sienna and I both turn the other way. Yes, and I know when it's a good Incorporator.
When they both have their heads down and I can see their bodies shaking, I'm like, got them. Ponytails just bobbing. Yeah, ponytails bobbing. I'm like, I got them. That one was getting these girls real good. And it's tough for me. It's tough for me because I have to do the thing. I almost lost it. Again, I almost lost it. 570-1949. Bryce Taurus. Bryce Taurus. Oh, my gosh. Don't anybody. Bryce Taurus. Don't anybody. Photoshop a t-shirt that says Bryce Tors on it. T-O-R. I'm with Bryce Tors. I'm with Bryce Tors. T-O-R-C-E. Maybe a little picture of Sharon on there, too. 100%. My little shih tzu, Sharon. That's cute. Tied up. Yeah. You love that you said shih tzu on the air. 100%. You feel like a rebel. 100%. Yeah. I'm like Howard Stern over here. Yeah. She's like a little kid at Christmas. That's right. Do you dress your dogs? Yes. Sorry, rabbit trail. Rabbit hole. Don't mean to get us off the track. Say it. Don't I? Was it on the air or off the air about Rebecca and the twins and the dressing them of the girls? It was after the show. It was after the show? I don't remember what happens on the air or off the air. I know. I forget. I don't either. My wife. I remember this. I couldn't believe she said it. I love it.
It's crazy. Because we're not having any more kids. I haven't gotten a vasectomy, but I think that's the plan. I can give you one. Maybe you get that done. Maybe you will have more kids. You're a professional. I'm not a professional. Oh, scary. We're not going to have any more kids. And Rebecca desperately wanted to have a little girl. And we never did. When we found out we were pregnant with twins, I remember the day that we found out the sex, and she was convinced one of them, if not both, would be girls. We got all boys. We're also convinced that if an accident happened and she got pregnant again, we're convinced that if she had a hundred children, they'd be boys. Yeah. I don't make girls. I make boys. And so, and my dad too. He's got four boys. Yeah, that's right. My brothers are all brothers. And, and so, and so. I take it back. Like my man. Okay.
Your brothers are African-American? No. Oh. And so she said that she wanted to, for fun, borrow some of Sage's clothes. Is that what it was? No, I was thanking her because she sent us this adorable little purple dress with magic purple shoes for Sage. Oh, it's so cute. And I was just telling her how adorable it looks on Sage. And she was like. Oh, man, I want to just buy the girl clothes and just put the boys in them. Is that how it started? Yeah, she said, I want to dress them in those clothes because girl clothes are so cute. And she said she wants to do it. And she said that she'll make sure that we don't spend a ton of dough on it. She'll just go to Target and buy some cute little things just so she can see. Oh, they'll look cute. No way. They'll look like girls. They will. No, no, no. She doesn't want to take them out like this. She wanted to do it just so that she could have the experience. Pictures? I think it's okay. It is not. If she's not leaving the house and it's just like one time and she gets to feel like, oh, it's weird. I know it's weird. But, you know, when you're surrounded by boys, you need to do things like this. Her thing was, they'll never know. I won't take pictures and they'll never know. It's just for me. And they won't. And I'm like.
Babe, it's just weird. This is how it starts. Yeah. It's just weird. Todd feels like he can only have girls, so the outfits that he's got, Sage, are like charger warm-up suits that are in the boy section. Yeah. Well, my boys are Luke and Ryan, and they're twins, and they're a year old. And my one-year-old Luke, his disposition is more sort of a scowly kind of deal. He's a little grumpy at times. Grumpy. And Ryan is just the sweetest guy with a smile all the time. He just giggles and smiles. And Luke is always kind of irritated. Yeah. Luke is on the line. Hi, Luke. What is this? It means that your overall attitude and your overall, you know, aura is one of kind of almost irritation. Well, in Game House, yours would whatever disposition, yours would be bad, too. Are you saying The Crying Game because you're making a reference to the film where the man was dressed as a woman? Yes, exactly what I'm saying. Way to knock that out of the park, Einstein. How have you seen The Crying Game? It's in your DVD collection of 6,000 DVDs. You're watching my DVDs? Yeah.
Some of those are R-rated pictures. Yeah, that's not really appropriate for a one-year-old. Maybe you don't worry about what I watch. You watch Mrs. Doubtfire. Yeah. There you go. Disney. Why don't you watch some Disney? I don't have any. They don't dress up like girls, though, in those movies. Just watch Yo Gabba Gabba. I'll tell you what. If that blonde lady. Your mom. Your mom? Rebecca. Rebecca's your mother. Rebecca dresses me in women's clothes. Uh-huh. and going to go number one on her. What does it matter to you? You don't have an image to uphold. Don't I? I'm not dressing as a girl. Do you dress as a boy? Sometimes. Really? You do, L.O.B. Boys have comfortable clothes. You don't ever dress as a boy, L.O.B. I wear comfy clothes around the house. Yeah, but that's different. Tell me more. All right, Luke. You're a year old. Yeah. What's Sage up to? You know, she's smiling a lot now. Sienna. Sienna. Sienna, you don't get the fact that he's only asking you that because it's creepy. He's like creeping out. Luke! Yeah. You stay away from Sage. Here's the deal. I'm just happy that Sage and I get to grow up together. Luke. I'm not. Careful. Careful, Luke. I think it's sweet. We get to grow up together. Luke. Experiment. Luke! A little bit. Luke. Luke.
No, you don't. Stop it. She will not be dressed as a nurse. She can dress as a nurse. Actually, I'm going to be the patient. She's going to be the nurse. Oh, my gosh. You're being very inappropriate. I have a skirt on, so what do you expect? All right. You'll be dressed as the nurse. She'll be the doctor. Apparently, I'll be dressed as the nurse. And Sage will be as the doctor because Rebecca. That's your mom. It's mommy. It's mommy. You see my hair? You've seen my hair tie and tie. That's the way I keep it. H&T. H&T. Now, you've seen Sir Smiles a lot back there. That's your brother Ryan. Yeah, your twin brother. He looks like Tom Brady. Yeah. He's adorable. You throw that broad in a dress, that's fine. But if you put me in a dress, I'm going to knock somebody's teeth out. You know what, Luke? Most people wouldn't even know you're a boy. Yeah, Ryan has more masculine features. Ryan is more the masculine one. Yeah. And, Luke, I mean, a lot of girls have short hair just like you. Have you seen me in tight jeans? I look like Robert Plant. You got a real baby face. I look like Dirk Diggler. Dirk Diggler. So you don't worry about it. Rose, I could see you looking like, I don't know, something adorable. Right now. In a little dress. Adorable Dirk Diggler.
Let's put him in like a strawberry shortcake outfit. Oh, it'd be adorable. Right now on your screen is a photograph of a one-year-old child and underneath it says on the phone, one-year-old Luke. No, that's not how we pronounce our last name. Yeah, Lucia. Lucy. All right, it's not Esperanza. Thanks for calling Lucy. Thank you, Lou. I'm going to split all your throats. All right, thanks. Hey, Lou. Oh, Lucy. He's a clown. He's a clown, and he's inappropriate, and he's out of control. She sure is. But I love him. It's our little Lou. Lou. So the woman that Charlie Sheen was with the night that he flipped out, hooker? I thought. Prostitute. Okay, well. She claims that she is not. Escort, porn star. Now she claims that she is not. And so she was on Good Morning America describing how she ended up with him that night. She talks about details like racial slurs, white powdery substances, lamp throwing. It's all next. And also, if you would like to play Win Mikey's Money, call us now, 570-1949. Yeah, yeah. Hey, welcome to The Mikey Show.
My name is Mikey. Truth of the matter is that it's only Mikey on the radio. In regular, normal, everyday life, it's just Mike. Some people call me Mikey as a nickname, but it's really just a radio thing that I can't get out of. It's something that comes along with being me. It's like yams come along with Thanksgiving. You don't normally do it, but it comes along with it. People off the air don't normally call me Mikey. It comes along with it. People can call you Mike. Yeah, I do sometimes. You're probably, listeners are going to be like, what do I call him? I call you Miguel. Yeah. Miguelito. So is my dad. Yeah. So is my dad. But a lot of people call me Mike. Hello. Hey, Mikey. Does your birth certificate say Miguel or Michael? Michael. Michael. Rebecca wanted to call me Michael when we first started dating. I remember that. And I said if I were a gay hairdresser, that would work fine. Or if you were a DJ on a jazz station. Uh-huh. Hmm.
Touche. Well played. Well played. I must admit. Very well played. Or if you're a black man. Yes. Yeah, it's true. Okay, so just a minute. The woman that was with Charlie Sheen the night that he was arrested. Her name is Capri Anderson. Capri? Capri? Yeah. Like the pants? Did you say Capri? Yeah, I thought that's what it was. I'm just assuming it's Capri. It's got to be Capri. Like the cigarette? Capri. Tanya? I like Capri. Do you like Capri? She's also known as Christina Walsh. You say Capri. I say Capri. I think it's Capri. I'm going to go with Capri on this one. Yeah. Capri Sun? Those are delicious drinks. We counted up my money, and what do we got? $44 between our entire show. Ballers. Ballers. So if you want to win my money, $44 in cold hard cash, call 570-1949. And we will do it. M1 Tina is on the line. Tina, what was the word of the day? Tina, but it's yams. That is correct. It was yams. You won a four-pack of tickets to Legoland, valued at $316.
Wow, thanks. And it's good until Christmas Eve, so you've got to use it sometime between now and Christmas Eve. Sweet, thanks. And you also won a Mikey Show t-shirt. Ooh, Mikey. They're brand new. Nice. So hang on the line, okay? Okay. All right, that is Gina. All right, let's play Win Mikey's Money. M1, Melissa from La Mesa. Are you there? Yes. All right, the way that Win Mikey's Money works is that we're going to have three categories, and what are the categories, Woods? The categories are sports, music, and movies. Sports, music, and movies. And you will get to start. And it's going to be just like a series in sports, like the World Series. It's going to be best out of seven. So the first person of four wins will win the whole thing, okay? If you get one wrong, you do lose a point. Yeah. If you get one wrong, you lose a point. And you use your name as a buzzer. All right. I'd like to introduce the best scorekeeper in the business, Sienna Farrar. I'm good at one thing, and that's scorekeeping. I broad can scorekeep. Yes, I can. There you go. Thank you. And so if you know the answer, you can interrupt at any time, Melissa. Okay. And you're going to do the sound effects over there? Yes, sir. Okay, cool. Let's do this, Woods. Okay, Melissa, pick movies, music, or sports. I'll go with movies. Movies. Buzz in.
If you know the answer. This famous actor played Lestat in Interview with a Vampire. Mikey. Mikey. Tom Cruise. Correct. You got to chime in a little earlier, Melissa. Mikey, select sports, music, or movies. Sports. What NFL team is known as the Aints when on a losing streak? Mikey. Mikey. The Saints? Correct. I only need two more to defeat you. Come on, Melissa. You've got to get in there. Get in the game. Mikey, sports, music, or movies? Let's go music now. Who wrote Ring of Fire? Melissa. Melissa. John Cash. I was going to... Incorrect. Oh. What? The trick question. I was going to say that. I was going to say that. Who is it? The correct answer is June Carter Cash. Are you kidding? His wife wrote it? Correct. No way. Melissa...
Well, Mikey, you got the last answer, right? Pick your category. Sports, music, or movies? Movies. Movies. In what movie does Nicolas Cage try to drink himself to death? I know that movie! Come on, Melissa. Mikey. Mikey. Leaving Las Vegas. Oh, man, he's hot. He cannot be beaten, I don't think. I need one more to win? Yeah. Sports, music, or movies? Let's have this be a five-pointer. I will take music. Music. What 23-year-old Tejano singer was murdered by her fan club president? I have no idea. Melissa. Yes. Selena. Correct. She's on the board. Anything for Selena. No idea what that is. Really? Mikey's pretending he was not a huge Selena fan. Melissa, sports, music, or movies? Let's go sports. Ooh, sports. What company's logo is called the swoosh? Oh. Melissa. Yes. Mikey. Yeah. Yes. Okay, Melissa. I know that one. Melissa's now back up to one. Mikey, three. Correct. Melissa, sports, music, or movies? Let's go music. Music. What did the letter O stand for in the band E-L-O? Mikey. Mikey. Orchestra. Correct. Yeah. Mikey wins four to one. He cannot be beaten. Holy cow.
Melissa, I am very sorry. Good job, Melissa. You tried your best. All right. It's not easy. No. No, it's not. It's not easy. Now, just a little bit. We're going to be doing another game. You still have a chance at another game later on in the show. We will be playing Do Not Stump Sienna. It's difficult. Okay, so, all right, let's do this. And in just a few moments, like as a matter of fact, we can open the phone lines up to get the people calling now for what we're going to do. And that's ask the guys. All right. We only open phone lines up to women. And basically what you can do, ladies, is call us and ask us anything that you want to know of the male mind. What we found is dudes love hearing it now. And guys, as you're listening, you know, you're going to have your own opinion about it or whatever. But we've noticed that every time we do this, women are interested in knowing. The thing is, is that we give you the real deal. A lot of times if you ask your boyfriend something, he may not give you the real thing. So this is an advice segment, so to speak. You call us and say, if a guy says this, what should I glean from that? What should I take from it if a guy does this? Hey, this guy's doing this. What should I do?
What should I say? What should I wear? What perfume turns guys on? What lotion? You can ask any of these questions. You just got to prepare yourself for a real answer because we're going to tell you the truth. 570-1949. And you'll get the opinion of all three of us, me, Woods, and Jay. Maybe me and Sienna will chime in. Yeah, absolutely. We always try. Absolutely. Try to stop him. You can't. Okay, so Charlie Sheen was with this woman, Capri Anderson. Or Capri. Capri. Capri. And here she is on Good Morning America. These charges, Capri, that are in the complaint you expect to file in Los Angeles civil court today are pretty sensational. Assault, false imprisonment that he grabbed you around the neck, threw. a lamp at you, threatened to kill you. That can't have been what you expected when you thought you were going to dinner that night on October 25th. So tell us how this all came about. It was absolutely not what I expected. And the way it came about was that I received a phone call from my agent offering me an appearance or...
If you will, an invitation to a dinner party, a paid appearance. And how much? $3,500? It was $3,500, yes. It's good work if you can get it. Man. I've never done an appearance for $3,500. I know someone that used to, a guy that used to do that professionally in Vegas. He would just be people's dates to things. He was an escort. A gigolo. No, they wouldn't do anything. Wouldn't they? You'd pay me $3,500. Wouldn't. I actually used to be. a gigolo. Were you? Years and years ago. You are a smelly pirate hooker. That's right. I commanded $24 for a night on the top. Nice! And a taste. And a taste. L.O.B., how much did said hooker make? He made actually pretty good money. Really? That was his only job? No, he was like a jack of all trades. Literally. I gave it away for free. Weird boy. And... I never expected that the night would unfold the way it did. But $3,500 to go to dinner. So you said yes to that. Just dinner. Yes. Her agent. Her agent got her a paid appearance. Slash pimp. For $3,500. Isn't that crazy? That, like, all the stuff you see in the tablet, not all of it, but so much of it can just be, like, to create buzz. Like, you can get paid to go act like you're dating somebody. Yeah. I think it's crazy that Charlie Sheen has to pay for brunch. Towards the end of the evening, Rick.
Say what? I think it's crazy that he has to pay for broads. Still. Yeah, like why he couldn't just go to a bar. And say, hi, I'm Charlie Sheen. You want to slay? Maybe he wants a reputable one that's not going to be crazy and will act professional. Yeah, that worked out well for him. How old did he know? He's the one that acted. Ask me if I could simply please make sure. A friend of Charlie's. Yes, a friend of Charlie's. If I could simply please make sure that he gets up to his room and stays in there. Because at this point he was. Fairly intoxicated. And then you get up to the room with him and you say that at some point when you got back to the room, you heard him snorting something? Yes. What? I was sitting on... Aspirin. Yeah, like, come on. He has a cold. He had a cold, I think. He was snorting it off her stomach. Yeah, seriously.
100%. He was snorting NyQuil. I'm at the edge of a coffee table, and he was serving us both drinks, and he snorted something. I looked over. I can't tell you exactly what that might have been. There's many drugs that come in. It was a white, powdery substance. It was a white, powdery substance. You ever lead the witness? It was cocaine? It was cocaine. Yes, it was cocaine. You stay in the room, and at that point... He asks you for a massage. You start to give him a massage. She kisses you. All this continues to go on, correct? Yes. There was a little bit of romance, if you will. There was mild... You know, in the moment... Petting. A lot happened, but... But you were okay with being there. I was there willingly, yes, initially. Have you seen Capri? No. I have. She's cute. Beautiful girl. Really? Yeah. Better be for $3,500. That old sheen will get you real good.
570-1949 is our number. Since then, Charlie Sheen, since yesterday afternoon, has filed a lawsuit against her claiming she tried to extort him. Oh, wow. Yeah, that she demanded at least a million dollars and threatened to go to prosecutors if she wasn't paid. Oh, wow. Yeah. He'll get off. He always does. I know. 570-1949. Ask the guys. So you get the call and ask any question to try to understand how us dudes work. Be prepared for a real answer because that's what we're going to give you. 570-1949. M1 Michelle is calling in from SDSU. Go ahead, Michelle. Hi. My question is, is that, okay, I dated a guy for about roughly six months. And we've been broken up for about a year and a half. And I'm still not over it. The first few months we dated, it was perfect. We talked about getting married. I thought this was the guy I was going to be with forever. Like, literally overnight, he completely switched, like, turned off the switch. He stopped all communication. We barely talked. We ended up living together for a few months, and it was just like, that was the defining moment where it was just like, okay, we're done. And it was just like, it's really hard, and I don't get why guys, like, say one thing, and then they just switch it, like, automatically. I mean, I never initiated the marriage talk. I never did anything like that. It was all on him.
Okay, when you moved in, did it go south immediately or a while after? No, not at all. We lived together for, it was like, we were just a few months and then I just couldn't take it anymore. And then it was like, within like the last month or so, I was just like, oh my gosh, who are you and what did you do with my boyfriend? Okay, so you lived together for two months. Yes. And the last month you couldn't take it? No, it was horrible. Okay, but how long did you live together before it started going bad? A couple months. Like, we moved in pretty quick with each other. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You lived together for two months total. No, a few. Like, it was more like three, four. Okay, so you lived together for four months total. Yeah. And a couple of months into it, it started to go bad. Yes. No, like, it was like the last month it just went south. Three good months, one bad month. Yeah, of living together. Okay. How old are you? I'm 33. How old is he? He's 36. Has he ever been married? No. Have you? Yes. One time? Once. So I'm not quick to rush into the whole marriage thing. I have a complete and total picture, and I think I have an answer. First, I'm going to let Woods and Jay go. Woods? Really? Yeah. The question is, why do guys... Okay, I think I know. Yeah, the question is, why do guys say something...
And then completely switch. I have done that before. And a lot of it comes from the fact of sometimes we want to tell you what you want to hear. And we know is going to make you happy. Make your relationship better. At the time. And, you know, I have done that. I definitely have done that. Marriage was not an option for me. I wasn't ready for it. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I mean, to hear a man say to you, babe. You're it for me. I am done looking. You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know you may not even be there at this point, but I'm ready. That gives you a sense of comfort. You're comforted by that. And you're like, okay, my man isn't out looking for anything else because he's got me. Now, my guess would be somebody else came along. That would be my guess. Jay? Michelle, what happened in that last month that turned it on its ear for you?
But you're the one who decided to leave, right? Yeah, I was the one who decided to move out and just move on with my life because I couldn't take it. Actually, when I moved out, we decided that we were going to try to make it work, but we couldn't be living together. That was way too soon, and we both knew it. It was, like, within the first week I had already moved out. He was just, like, doing, like, I'm going to a party, and I'm sorry you're not invited. Wow. That was my defining moment. I was like, okay, we're done. We are over. I can't take this anymore. I tried, like, I didn't yell. I didn't scream because it's not the kind of person he was. He's a very calm person. So I tried talking to him and be like. We need to rebuild our communication. Jay, what do you think? I think that he was not ready for the whole situation. I think you should have waited longer to get involved. He sounds like he was not committed. All right, can I give you my thoughts on this one? Most definitely. Okay. There's a book called He's Scared, She's Scared, and you should pick it up. It's a pretty decent book. And what it's about is a fear of commitment. It's a fear of...
of intimacy. And at 36 years old, for a guy to have never been married, it indicates a couple of things, as I'm just being observational. Guy to be 36 years old tells me that he's probably dated before. And in dating before, he's probably had feelings about people before. And he hasn't committed. And he's 36 years of age. You mark my words. Five years from now, he'll be 41. He'll still be single. He may have a girlfriend, but he won't be married. Well, actually, we've managed to have some few of the mutual friends. And I've heard, and I don't know if this is real or not, but what I've heard is that he started dating somebody about two months after we had stopped seeing each other. And they got married about three months later. So somebody told you that he's already married? Yeah. Yep.
That's weird. He may have been double. He met her. Double. He met her and that's what. Changed everything, yeah. Yeah, I mean, that seems pretty cut and dry then. Yeah. Yeah, it was, I mean, it's been, this year has been like torture. That stings a little bit. Yeah, that stings. That stings. That's like, have you seen that movie, 500 Days of Summer? Actually, I just picked it up at Target. You gotta watch it. Oh, yeah. And she kind of, I mean, it stings for the guy, but she just kind of puts it into, she didn't think she was. She wanted that and was ready until that person. That's the right guy. Better you know now. Hey, thanks a lot. We appreciate it. Good luck. Let's see. M1 Lynette from Kearney Mesa. Hi, Lynette. Hi. What are you doing? Oh, cool. What's your question? My question is, why is it okay for guys to be so double standard? For example, I've been with my husband for three years. We've been married for six months. And it's okay for him to do whatever he wants, but whenever I want to do something, it's, oh, no, no, no, no. I think it's his mom involved. Be specific. So if I say that I want to go out with one of my girlfriends from high school, it's, oh, I don't know her. I don't want you to go out. That's a bad idea.
But it's okay for him to go play Frisbee golf with some random man that I've met maybe twice. It's different, though. I'm listening and I just go, yes. Listen, here's the deal. Here's the deal. It's so true. It is. I can't claim this as my own. I'm ripping this off from a guy named Mark Driscoll. He says, there's a lot of little boys that shave. He says, there's a lot of little boys that shave. And there's a lot of mommy's boys. Didn't you just say that when this happens, he gets his mom involved? Yeah, my guess is no, he didn't. He always has been. He was in the closet. He hid it for a while. Yeah, and there's a lot of little boys that shave. Basically, what we have right now in our culture, 2010, is we have a lot of wusses. We have a lot of wusses that have a very distorted image of what a man is. In their mind, a man is somebody that pushes their weight around. A man is somebody that decides that they're going to make all the choices. A man is somebody that exerts his manly image.
on a woman. A man is somebody that puts his hands on a woman sometimes. There's all kinds of distorted images of what a man is. A man should be the guy that gives first. In other words, you guys get into an argument, the man should be the one that says, if there's going to be an I'm sorry, he says it first. In our relationship, with my relationship with my wife, it's me. I'm the head of the household, and that doesn't just mean that I am the head of the household, meaning that I call all the shots. It also means I'm the one that says I'm sorry first. I'm the one that takes the bullet first, too. And I think that a lot of people have a distorted image of what that really is all about. And so I think that what you have is a little boy that shaves. See, I see a total difference, though, in what she's saying. So here's the thing. So he can go out and play Frisbee golf with some guys. Right. Or you can go to a bar and go for drinks. Right, but that's not how it goes. I mean, if you wanted to go out and ride bikes or go play Frisbee or go for a run, I got no problem with it. Shouldn't matter, dude. But I'm not going to go to a bar without Kim, and I wouldn't want her to go to a bar without – because most of the time you're going to a bar, there's a reason you're going to a bar. You can have a –
bottle of wine at home, or at her home, or anybody's home. I don't agree with that. That's what it's like. It's like if I want to go out with, not go, because I don't drink. I mean, we're in sobriety. We've been sober. I've been sober for almost two years. So I've been clean and sober, so I don't drink or anything. Go over and spend time with her and her kids. Yeah. That's a trust issue. And I'll tell you what, man. I've never been a fan. My dad's not like this. I'm not like this. I never, and I mean ever, tell my wife what she can and can't do. My wife is a grown woman. And if my wife wants to go on a girls' trip with her girlfriends to Austin or to San Diego or to L.A., have a ball. You know why? Absolutely. Because I trust you. I don't go out with the guys. I'm not a, hey, Jay, let's get the boys together and let's go out to the bar and watch football. I watch football at home with my wife. But even so, my husband went up to Huntington Beach on Friday night with his friend to go to the bars and have fun. You just have to trust them, and he needs to trust you. You can't be in a relationship if there's no trust. I've never understood the husband that tells his wife, you can't.
Do this. You can't go here. You can't smoke. You can't do this. I don't understand. That's a grown woman. Do what you want. But trust. And you know who you married to. Were they like that when you met? 5701949 is our number. I think this segment's going to get us beaten up one day. I know. Why? Hey, don't tell my wife what to do. She goes, well, Mikey and Woods and Jay said that. You're being a clown. No, that's great. Well, listen, I mean, you know, if I say it, I mean it. Right, we call them like we see them. Yeah, you know, I mean, that's the deal. I mean, there's a lot of guys I think that would agree. There's some guys that won't agree. That's okay. If you're wearing big shoes and a spongy nose, then you are being a clown. Fair enough. Hey. If you were playing a drug addict in a movie, let's say that you're a very high profile actress playing a drug addict in a movie and you could write anybody for advice on how to do it. Who would you write? Wait till you hear who Gwyneth Paltrow asked and they actually answered back in a very thoughtful email. So if you're Gwyneth Paltrow and you're going to play a drug addict in a movie and you can.
Basically write anybody for advice that you want to on how to do it. Who would you write? Gwyneth Paltrow wrote somebody. It was a guy. And they actually wrote back with a very, very nice email. And we'll tell you about that in just a second. What's going on in news, Sienna? Well, George Jakubek, the man who is known for having the largest quantity of homemade explosives at one place in the United States. That was here in Escondido last week. He has pled not guilty yesterday in court to 26 felony counts in connection with the explosive discovery. Holy cow. Yeah, we'll see what he's going to be up to. But he's going to be remaining in custody, $5 million bail. Also, if you tried to register for Comic-Con again, the registration crashed for a second time yesterday. Crashed two times now, the website. Maybe they get a webmaster. I know.
So they're just, you know, apologizing, apologizing, apologizing because people want their badges to go to Comic-Con this summer. We have a dungeon master, not a webmaster. We'll find out when the website will be back up again. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Do you remember the name Colt Brennan? He was a star quarterback at the University of Hawaii and didn't quite make it in the NFL. But, man, he got in a very serious... auto accident on the Big Island of Hawaii, and he has broken ribs, injuries to his head and his left collarbone. He's sedated. He's in stable condition. There was also two girls with him in the rack. Sad story. Really good college quarterback, man. Just ridiculous. And the Miami Heat, big three not working out so well just yet. They're 8-6 right now. They got beat by the Pacers last night, 93-77. I don't think they're finding the chemistry they need to win. But, you know, it's a long season. We'll see how it goes. Yeah, I expected it to be no losses. Okay, so Gwyneth Paltrow, who did she ask for advice on playing a drug addict?
How do you, because you've obviously never had a drug problem per se. Not yet, per se. Not that we know about anyway. So how do you get into something like that? Like, how do you get into that character and kind of, because it is kind of a, it's hard to play somebody who can be unlikable one minute and likable the next. It was actually really challenging because I, exactly that, I didn't understand how you could do something so crazy one night and kind of wreck lives in your wake and then wake up and kind of expect to be back to normal. I actually emailed Robert Downey Jr., who's been sober for a long time. Wow. But I was like, how does one explain to me addiction? And he wrote me the most amazing email, and it really helped me understand it. Oh, wow. That is interesting. It was really cool. And so is there a scene in the movie where you actually wake up in someone's bunk bed? Wow. Did he wake up in somebody's bunk bed? His neighbor. He did? Yeah. Oh, boy. He walked over there and just walked in the house? Yeah, passed out in the bed. Child's bed. I'm sure she and him are friends from Iron Man, you know? Yeah. He's freaking dynamite. Yeah. Guy's the best. Yeah. Okay. So 570-194-9 is our number. What would you pay extra for? And what I mean by that is maybe an express line at the DMV. You could pay for it. It would cost you. Oh, yeah.
But you don't have to wait. There was a news story recently about people wanting to pay more for a children's section on planes. Like they didn't want to sit by the kids, you know? Intolerant. They're called headphones. And pay extra. That's not intolerant. It's intolerant. It's the definition of intolerant. Oh, I disagree. Is it not? Absolutely not. Define intolerance then. Intolerant means that you are not accepting of. Children. Yeah. Crying. Okay, this is what not accepting of means. That you want a different plane for kids. That's intolerant. Like, I will not accept children. Oh, I bet you there's people that would pay for that. Okay. That's intolerant. But I mean, I think that for somebody to go, I hate to hear screaming babies. I hate to hear screaming babies. When we're on a flight and Lukey starts doing his... I want to come out of my skin. So all kids should have to ride in the back of the airplane. Yeah, back of the bus. Yeah, you guys get to the back of the bus. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I think that what, at least the way I took it, and maybe I took it wrong, was that you pay for an area for you to be where there's no kids. Well, that means it's an area of the plane the kids could not be. Yeah, that they're not. Okay, well, let's say it's in the back and you are in the back, but you just know that that back, okay, let's say in a hypothetical world.
that it's like the last six rows of the airplane and there's a soundproof thing there. Yeah. And you go through a door and the last six rows are through a door that are soundproof and you pay a premium of $100 a seat to sit back there and there is no kids. No kids and no crying. Don't you think even the parents would appreciate that? The people that are going to give them dirty looks and crankiness would be in a separate area? I welcome it. My fear is... that they would put the kids and the families in that little locked-up room. So now you're in the only place on the plane. Now it's sold out. The kids' section is sold out, and you can't get on the plane because you have kids. There's seats open, but it would go the other way. I think it couldn't go that way. It would absolutely. But would you be okay with it, Jay, if it was the other way around? In theory. In theory. Yeah, because I feel terrible, man. I'm welcoming the day that somebody pops off about my kid crying. Well, they don't. That's what makes it worse. Or give me a dirty look. But even, I mean, you feel so bad because you're like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. You're waking people up. What? Best thing in the world. It's a kid. Yeah, it's a kid. Put your headphones on. Yeah. Put your $90 Bose headphones on and watch a movie. Man, that's what I did. Last flight I went on, I had the little noise canceling thing. I never done before turned on. That don't work. You don't hear a thing. They work. Not everybody can afford those. Mine work. They're flying. Like a charm.
This article, it said 59% of passengers would like to have a special section for kids. 20% said they'd like to see flights with no kids. And all of these people would pay extra for this. Adults only, huh? It's like Sandals Jamaica on there. I don't see the problem with a flight that was adults only. I do. If it was an extra flight added to the schedule plane. Yeah, to the roster. No way. So now you want to travel and you can't because the only ones are available. How about men only? I don't want to fly with broads. Women should be able to fly. If there's enough of a demand, if you add it on. And women, you know, when you're on a flight with women, they're not. Screaming, aren't they? Aren't they? No, they're not. And, you know, at the movie theater, they have special movies called, like, Mommy and Me movies where you bring your kids because you know kids are going to cry in movie theaters at times, so it's a special one for kids. I've been in there. And, yeah, and you, I mean, what if they had, like, a kid's plane, an extra flight a day, and they played, like, Toy Story on the screens? But I don't want to. I want to go in the morning. Hey, Sienna. I'm just saying. Yeah, you have one option to fly. What? You ever been to that? The movie?
The only mommy movie. I want to go. It's crazy. It's a nightmare. I want to. It's like living in a nightmare. It's stress free for a parent who usually stresses about their kid being too loud. It is the opposite of stress free. It is. I'm sure Rebecca enjoys it. I'm sure she stresses when she has to bring the kids and worry about them being too loud. I went with her one time. It would be hard. I went with her one time to the mommy movie. You cancel out the other kids. You just worry about yours. You just wait till it's available on DVD. I can't wait to have kids. That's a kid's only movie right there when you wait for it to come to your own home. Yes. I'm so disappointed in you, Woods. Why? Because you wouldn't care. I love children, man. I do too. Yes, I do. Yeah, I actually do. I actually do. I do too. I am so disappointed that you would be on an aircraft with a screaming child and you wouldn't care. Bro, I would care. I mean, I would try to go, hey, take the binky, have a bottle, whatever. But it's a baby. It's like when people get mad if dogs bark. That's what they're supposed to do. No, babies are usually crying for a reason. Yes, and I'm not going to sit there and let them go.
I'm not going to sit there and let them scream. I'm going to try to calm them down. But if some guy walks by and runs mouth, you get the belt. Nobody ever does. What's what? Captain Callout, what do you got? I'm seeing a pattern here. What's that? It's okay for your dogs to bark. It's okay for your kids to cry. I try to keep them under control. Do you? Don't I? No. You said that the dogs can run outside in the app, and you're okay because they're dogs. They are dogs. I have a little thing out there, the sensor. They're desensitized to it. I've tried to make them so they don't bark and bother the neighbors. They're freaking... Dogs. Maybe we just take their vote. Maybe we take kids and dogs' vocal cords out. That way they don't make any noise and we can get on with our flight. It's extreme. We get on our flight, Mikey, and you can eat and you can read and you can do whatever you want to do. Topless. That was an overreaction. It's a bit of an overreaction. Let's take their vocal cords out. Let's silence them. Let's say that. Even the parents of the kids try to quiet their babies. Of course, and I'm not saying that I wouldn't try to quiet my baby.
But walk by me and say something to me if my kid's crying. Nobody does. No one's going to say anything. No one does. Be different. Be different. Yeah. Be tolerant. All I'm saying to you is that we could not be more opposite in that if your kid cried, in your mind, you're hoping and daring someone to say something to you. Because I know the way my friend Woods is wired. Me, I'm like, this is me. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. The preemptive apology. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I want to stand up. I'm sorry. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm a passenger here on board, and I just am so sorry. And I just beg you. I beg you to not hate me and judge me. And I'm so sorry that my child... And I want you to know, too, I can't stand it. I want you to know I am embarrassed of my baby right now. Because my baby is screaming his head off, and he can't sleep.
Monster. Poor baby. The baby can't help it. No, but it's annoying. Stuff a rag in its mouth. I've been around it so much, it does not even bother me. I know, right? Baby's crying, don't bother me. Yes, but you guys, not everyone is you, and if people had the chance to pay, they should be allowed. Have a ball on your adults-only flight. So why does it bother you? It doesn't. Have a ball. We're getting people to call us and tell us what they would pay. extra for? Yes. One of them was that, you know, a plane or a section on an airplane where it's kids only. The other thing that somebody said that I brought up was the DMV. Maybe it's an express thing at the DMV. Oh, so great. M1 Dendron from Encinitas. Hello. What would you pay extra for? Oh, yeah. Where you can find your life away. You can only drive solo by yourself. You can go as fast as you want. You have to cover your own insurance. That sounds so cool to me. Like a raised, it's raised. It has to be separate. There's no speed limit. No speed limit. You're in control. But you take all the responsibility for those around you and yourself. Done. And then you take, it's called a speed limit governor. Yep. And it means that your car.
My car can only go up to 155 miles an hour and then it won't let the car go faster than that. You can have those removed. If this guy's world existed, it'd be removed. Our cars can go that fast for a reason, you know? We should be able to use it. I'd be scared to death, but I would do it. I know, it'd be so fun. I wouldn't do it, but I'd say if you guys want it. But it'd have to be totally separate because people would spin out and then hit the other safe drivers. For sure. M1. Hyman, as in Hyman Roth from The Godfather from San Marcos. How are you doing? Good. All right, bro. Good. Nice. It was up to me. You know, like, for instance, for me, for child support, you've got to stand up. I've got five in the morning. This is seen by a facilitator. I would pay an extra $20 just to walk in and cut everybody off and not go through the whole four- or five-hour wait. How long does it take? So it takes four or five hours? It's extremely, it's exaggerating time, dude. It's a beating. What if you could Skype, you know, do a video chat with the gal that does your thing? You're like, hey, I just wired the funds. I'm Skyping with you, and I'm here, and blah, blah, blah, and here you go. DMV Skype. Yeah, Skype. I would pay extra for pumpkin-flavored things all year long.
pumpkin flavored things year round. Best flavoring ever. I'm good with just the once or twice a year. I would pay for a shamrock shake to have that any day of the year. Done. Really? $5. Made my own the other night. What? Peppermint ice cream and milk and made a milkshake. Was it the same? I didn't. My wife made it for me. Correction, yes. And I feasted on it in about five seconds. Through a straw, by the way. Shamrock cake is the best. It's the best. It tasted just like an elephant. Oh, man. I want it. 570-1949. This is M1 Che Olay from Escondido. Good morning. Good morning. I would pay more to go to a rated R movie with no very small children. People bring their little children to rated R movies? Yes, when I went to see Paranormal 2. No, no. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I won't even go see that movie. Me neither. Are you kidding me? That's a selfish parent. No, and they're crying in the movie.
Yeah, they are. Of course they're crying. Scared to death. Oh, my gosh. I wouldn't even see the first one. Scared me so bad. I feel like a worse human being because I just heard that. Oh, I know. I know. I feel dumber for hearing it. Oh, my gosh. I feel guilty. Listen. Thank you for the call. Listen. If you can't afford the babysitter, I get it. I totally get it. Don't take your kid to paranormal activity. Mikey, are you? telling people how to parent? Yes! That's terrifying. Oh, my gosh. Nightmares. That's not fair. Don't take them. I watched a child's play when I was little, and I'm never going to forget it. Just put a blindfold on them. They'll be fine. Oh, my gosh. Poltergeist still sticks with me. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Let me tell you. I was shocked. You know, we went to... My wife and I went to, when it was raining on Saturday, we took the twins to this little...
I don't even know what it's called, like a play place. Jimmery? No, it's kind of like that, but it's for little kids, you know, and they just go and crawl around. Huh, fun. Yeah, it's by Oceanside Mall or something, and, you know, you go in there and it's just like they get to crawl around and go in these little... JW Temple? It's just like that. But for younger kids? But for even littler kids, infants, to crawl around. And toddlers. And so we're in one of these little toddler things, and there's a little girl in there. and Rebecca's talking to the little girl, and Jake, and I thought about you guys, and I thought about, we should talk about this. Because Luke and Ryan are playing with a toy, and this little toddler kid, probably like two, comes over, and he starts pushing Luke and Ryan. No mom, no dad around. No mom, no dad. Okay, you know why? Because for them, it's like, this is a safe house. I know they're in this building, so it's a safe house. So I'm not going to watch them. I'm going to visit with my friends, okay? And what I do know is that there's other parents here. One of them is bound to watch my kid, okay? Now, we were talking the other day about don't put your hands on my kid. So, Woodsy.
You were the biggest proponent of don't put your hands on my kid. I put my hands on that kid. Oh, yeah. All day long. I pulled him off my kids. He's on your kids. That's different. He's not playing in the dirt in the right field. It's like self-defense. It's protection. For the child. Pick him up and move him out of the way. You don't yank him up by the arm. No, I didn't. But I'm telling you that when I put my hands on that kid, it was running through my head of our conversations on the air. Don't put your hands on my kid. And I'm thinking. Maybe, okay, fine. Maybe you give me $10 an hour to babysit your kid. Right. No, I agree with you, man. You did the right thing. You're worth $12. Thank you, Jay. That is annoying. Oh, that would make me mad. I've seen that happen so many times, and I'm like, where is that kid's parent? Yeah, where's the parent? They're visiting. Okay, so here's another one for you in the same arena. You know how we talked about if you were an actor? I said I would not do a love scene in a movie. And the reason that I wouldn't do a love scene in a movie is because I don't want to get, you know, a... Right. Isolate that, please. Would it just be a boing? I don't... Listen. And this was Woods in L.O.B. You don't understand.
It's an art, okay? Your craft. It's a craft, and this is actors performing. You're not turned on. Really? Okay. I did not say that. Oh, yes, you did. I said I've been terrified of a love scene because of those things. But you also said, Mike, it's different. Well, I was saying your significant other can't get mad at you. It's a craft. It's your craft. It's your job. Performing the art. All right. Performing that odd. Well, let me just tell you guys something. Anybody that thinks that acting is just a job that I'm taking. There's no, like, you know, getting turned on. When we come back, I am going to play something for you that is audio from Anne Hathaway that will shock you. And I'm not saying that lightly. Shock you. I'm saying that when you hear this, you're going to go. How is it that one man is able to make one noise that sounds so dirty? Actors doing love scenes. It's art. It's a craft. It's a craft. It's a gig, man. They only say that if the other person's not hot. It's just a gig. We'll wait until you hear what I'm going to play you.
I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That's Sienna. That's Jay. And over there, screening phone calls for us is Will. Will. Hey, FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny presented by Scion on Saturday, December 11th. Yeah. Remack. And tickets went on sale on the 16th. Black Keys, Against Me, Temper Traps, Sleigh Bells, Tokyo Police Club. $40 for the tickets and a dollar out of every ticket sold. It goes to the About the Music Fund, and that helps support music education right here in San Diego County public schools, which is really cool. So you can get your tickets at Ticketmaster. And if you're the type of person like my dad that doesn't want to pay for service charges, in fact, it would infuriate you to have to pay a service charge, you can get around it. You can get your tickets at the Price Center box office on the UC San Diego campus.
And if you want more details on it, go to FM949SD.com. Okay. Actors. Is it a craft? Maybe it's a craft. But it takes a lot for me to learn something I didn't know. For me to actually genuinely go, what? Take a listen. Anne Hathaway. We didn't want to show that we were ever self-conscious about the nudity, because in a way then the illusion would be shattered. And we watched a lot of other films to see where it had succeeded, where it had failed. We decided from the get-go that real sex was out. But it wasn't like a real conversation, but we watched some films that do real sex. I don't know, that makes me feel weird. Do you mean like having real sex? Yeah, there are some films where the actors really have sex. Have sex? Yeah. That's called Debbie Does Dallas. And you should never, ever do Ann Does Arkansas or whatever would be the equal to that. I will try. It would probably be Ann Does Ann Arbor, but I will attempt it. There are movies where the actors actually had sex. And the reason that they did, I'm sure, was because they're deeply into their craft. Really, dude? No, I'm being serious. It's called porno. No, no, no, no, no.
She's not talking about porn. Name one. Maybe like Monster's Ball. Name one. Well, you'd have to ask Anne to name one. I want to know. I do know of one movie that Vincent Gallo? I don't know. Buffalo 66. He and his girlfriend at the time, who was Chloe Sevigny, did... Stuff. Stuff. And she did something to him. If you can read between the lines. Oh my gosh. She did something to him. Got it. And she really did it. It's probably only when they were actually dating. And they were dating. Like Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe or however you say his name. They were in Cruel Intentions together. You think they really did it? I don't know. They were together. I believe. They started dating during that I think. I believe Anne Hathaway is telling the truth. Yeah. I believe that I'm shocked. I believe that it takes a lot to shock me. I believe that they do it because they truly believe. I'm being serious. I don't think they do it because they want to have sex. I think they do it because in their wackiness, they're like, what do you think? To really nail this. Literally. What do you think? So you're telling me that there's an actor somewhere on a set and he's like,
Hey, Bob, Mr. Director Bob. Right. I'm just not getting it. It doesn't come through. No. How about I just slay her? No, I do not believe that's how it goes down. How do you think it goes down? I'm a famous actor named Mike Esparza. This is a famous actor named Sienna. Okay, I'm the director. Or let's use a real person that's probably done this, like Angelina Jolie. Okay, I'm Angelina Jolie. You're Billy Bob Thornton. I'm Billy Bob Thornton. Okay? And you are, Sienna, you are Scarlett Johansson, and neither of us have a partner. Okay. Okay? All right. No director involved. Okay. We're having a conversation, okay? Okay. Hey, I'm looking at the sides here, and it's calling for us to make love. Yeah, I saw that. Now, I don't know how you feel about this. How real do you want to get with this? Well, you know. Honestly, I think that we could maybe get an Oscar for this role. I do, too. This is quite a script. I do, too. Now, are you with anybody? No. Because I wouldn't even ask this. No, no, not right now. I'm not either. And I wouldn't even ask this if you were. Wouldn't you? No, I really wouldn't. I'm a serious actor. Right. But what would you think about, obviously, with protection, if we actually made love for the scene? Because I think that for the scene...
the more real we get with this, the more, you know, and by the way, there's also, can you turn to page 420? Weird. Okay. 420. Oh, I know. On page 420, it calls for you to slap me. Now I really want you to let me have it. Oh, well I was planning to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, but I don't know. What do you think about that? Um, well, I would say. This is just acting. We're acting. This is our job. You're not into me. No, no, no. Not into you. Not yet. Guaranteed. Never. I'm okay with it, yeah. Never. Guaranteed. You know where? In Topanga Canyon where they shoot porn. That's where it's happened. You're so sweet. Give me one American movie. I will. Give me it. Anne Hathaway would have to tell you, bro. I don't know. Give me the American movie. Have you ever seen Monsters of Ball? Yes. With Halle Berry and Billy Bowman. Of course. They have to be. You think he's? Yes. No way. I think that's a great call. I've seen that and I'm like, there's no way that they're not actually doing it. I got another one. What?
The one with Michael Douglas and Sharon Stone. Basic Instinct. No. Listen to me. I knew it. Back to the back of my hand. I think that something was happening. There was one with Angelina Jolie with a shower scene, and she was doing it, and there was hands everywhere. It's called Taking Lives. Yeah, and she's got to be doing it. You're weird. Why? It's a brilliant movie. You know every nude movie ever to happen. Yeah, I'm Mr. Skin. Yeah, you're Mr. Skin. She is notorious for, like... taking her co-stars when she starts with them. And I guarantee part of it was because she was like, well, let's just F. Yeah, I guarantee you. Let's prove it. In fact, I would bet it wasn't that way. I'll bet that when it does happen, it's not the way that I played it out. It's the other way around. The woman to the man? I'll bet you that the actress says, let's just do it. Yeah, because you know the guy's on board. And the guy's like, if she's cool with it, of course I'm cool with it. Dude, you guys are telling me that there's... The American Anne Hathaway is telling you. Yeah, she didn't tell you that they were watching pornography. They're watching pornography. Dude, she says... Or French movies. Bro, not an American film. You can tell. Name one. She's doing an American film and she's putting herself in the same category. We have a conversation, but we watch some films that do real sex. I don't know, that makes me feel weird. Yeah, porn. Do you mean like...
They're not talking about porn, bro. French subtitled movies, though. She would have said, yeah, I mean, well, porno, but... And she's not talking about porno. There are some films where the actors really have sex. She says there's some movies where they really have sex. Sex? Yeah. Pornographers. Look, if someone like Angelina Jolie is willing to wear a vial of blood around her neck and make out with her brother, she's definitely going to be like, what's the big deal? I'm an actress. I can have sex on the screen. It's just a body. She's the perfect person to put in this category because there's people that are just a little kooky. Guys, if that's the case, I would have been in acting school years ago. And that's just not the case. Stop. I think that there is a lot of... Finger quotes. Artsy. Yes. Actors. Dude, Christian Bale. Yeah. Christian Bale would be like, I think we should really make love. I guarantee they're like, can we just get over ourselves? Yeah, let's get over it. And let's just be adults. Let's just have intercourse. It's just two body parts. And let's run through this scene over and over and over again. Take 42. Please.
Tonight. Take 42 tonight. Oh, my gosh. That is so awkward. Somebody, M1s, if you know of a true, I want to know a true American movie. Maybe email you. Imagine the pressure for the guy. Say what? The pressure for the guy. If you're like, all right, we're really going to do this. Everybody, take one. Everybody's watching. Honestly, I kind of feel the same way. I would feel the same way about just if they weren't and it was just a love scene. Ew, yeah, yeah. You know, I mean, I think it must be hard to get in front of a camera and. make out with people. Gotta be. So uncomfortable. What if you have to do more than one take? I bet they do. You do, yeah. Yeah, you never get a first take. You can't ever get one. Nailed it, literally. Yeah. I'm gonna need a minute. First time. I'm gonna need a minute. But sometimes they'll use body doubles and those body doubles are absolutely having sex. Oh my God. Absolutely. Really? Mm-hmm. You believe that they... Oh, yeah. So everybody's just having sex. So Spielberg is a porn director is what you're telling me. And, you know, Spielberg and some of your favorites, they're all porn directors. They're watching live intercourse. Give me a Spielberg movie. Where there's intercourse? Yes. I don't know. There's not, Woods. E.T. E.T. Oh, gross. Dude, I'm talking about movies that are probably pretty artsy. Indiana Jones. There was a love scene. So Harrison Ford was knocking that out. Was there a make love scene? Probably. No, not probably there wasn't. Raiders of the Lost Ark there was. Really? Yes. A make love scene? Yes. No, there wasn't. Woodsy. No. A make love scene. Bambi.
Bambi, ew. Thumper. It's a deer. Shrek. Oh. In the morning, I'm making waffles. Oh, God. Oh, my gosh. I want to know these movies so bad. Yeah, me too. I want to know them. Come on, man. Mr. Skin has it on his site. It's going to be called Lift Wall. And Hathaway Call. And one misfit from San Diego. Please call. Hey, I got a movie for you. It's called Short Bus. I feel weird. putting movies on where people are having real... I don't want to be sending people. I don't want to be sending people. You're not. We are. Misfit. Woods is writing it down. Misfit. I wanted to ask him how he knows. Yeah, how do you know? His mom was in it. There's more because the phones are blowing up. Gross, gross, gross. Come on. It's okay. I'll push the buttons. You're not doing it. How about I just tell you what they are? You can't just say something and then not have valid proof. Can we ask someone not the name of the movie, but how they know? These people here, they're not actors and actresses that are calling in. As far as you know. Really? Okay, let's go to line four and talk to Robert Downey Jr. That'd be rad, wouldn't it? Yeah. We have Robert Duvall on line six.
Why don't they call in? Just email me. Woods at Mikey Show. And one Chris from San Diego. Let's crawl. Hey, what's up, guys? What's up? Okay, so Mickey Rourke was in a film. Absolutely. Nine and a half weeks or something. Yeah. And there's some dirty goodness going on. Yeah, seen it. Love it. Great movie. Supposedly, that was actually really some slam going on there. Supposedly. I think they were dating him and Basinger. Now, he says, supposedly. Now, I don't know. The only one that would know is probably Anne Hathaway. The only one. Well, no, no, no. I mean, there's lots of people. But Anne Hathaway would know because she's in the community. She's the only dog in this fight that would know. I know stuff about radio people that lots of other people. Hey, listen. There's been stuff said about me that ain't true. The trick of the trade. Yeah. You know stuff. Like, if you're in the industry, you know stuff. And then you don't know stuff. So that's the way it works. You know what I mean? I know stuff about woods that would blow your mind. Do you? I'm out there in the open. Everyone knows stuff about woods. Pick up your latest reader. Check it out. Did you know that now, in addition to Dancing with the Clowns, there is Skating with the Clowns? Mm-hmm. And did you know, Woods, that one of your heroes and a big rock star
Is on it. Don't tell. I don't. I'm telling you when we come back who it is. Because of the success of Dancing with the Clowns, otherwise known as Dancing with the Stars, they now have a show called Skating with the Stars. Give me a break. And Vince Neil of Motley Crue. Vince Neil. of Motley Crue is on this show. I really respect you for taking this competition on. I mean, you had to learn an entirely new technique of trying to walk on ice, which is extraordinarily difficult. It's not like dancing. And on top of that, you had to do it with a beautiful partner. You had to do it to music. You had to do it to specific choreography. And you had to give a performance on it. I really take it off. Just for next week, be fearless. Just remember, any man who is afraid to make a mistake,
We'll never make anything. That was the critique. Of him? Of Vince Neil skating. Now, I feel like part of the success of Dancing with the Stars is people see, okay, if that person can go from, you know, not knowing how to dance to being this, then I could take lessons with my husband or someone and I could be like that too. Where is it going to be useful to learn at 45 years old how to ice skate? Skating ring. Skating ring, yeah. The mall. Show off at the mall. Here's more Vince Neil. And we're used to seeing you in tight pants and eyeliner. Were you out of your comfort zone tonight on the ice? No, because I have tight pants on and eyeliner. Yeah, yeah. You know what? I can see the eyeliner, but I'm not going to check the trousers, to be honest with you, Vince. Aren't you? I'm a little shocked. Are you? I didn't think Vince Neil would be on Skating with the Stars. Exactly. If you had told me 10 years ago Steve and Tyler would get off the road to go judge American Idol, I would have said, you're out of your mind. The guy's the lead singer Aerosmith. Vince Neil's the lead singer of Motley Crue, but you know what? Motley Crue's not that relevant anymore. And he's got to do something, you know, to keep in the public eye. Whatever happened to going out on a high note? I know. It just doesn't happen anymore. Brett Favre, Derek Jeter. I mean, it just doesn't happen. I think that, you know, it's a drug.
It is, yeah. The success is like a drug. Yeah. And they can't get enough of it. 570-1949 is our number. Just kind of recapping what we've gone over today. Capri Anderson, the... Capri. Capri. You say Capri. So does everybody else. You say Capri. I say Capri Anderson. You're the only one. The island of Capri. The island of Capri. She's the woman that was hired to do an appearance with Charlie Sheen. Finger quotes appearance? That's what she called it. She said her agent called her and asked her to do a paid appearance, $3,500 paid appearance to hang out with Charlie Sheen. So we talked about that. We talked about how Gwyneth Paltrow was going to play a drug addict in a movie and wrote Robert Downey Jr. an email and asked, how do you do this? And he told her. And we learned that Vince Neil is on Skating with the Stars. Now, this next thing that I'm going to play for you is insane. Lauren, you're going to get real creeped out. I am. This is a press conference for LSU. And a reporter named Ted Castillo that works for the Baton Rouge Advocate starts to ask,
head coach Les Miles. A wrap-up question. This is real. Real weird. I have one more question to cap my 80th year of following LSU football. It has nothing to do with this game or the game before, but what is it like to be, and you can take the fifth on this, what is it like to be interviewed by a sweet young thing like Aaron Andrews? Erin Andrews, the same woman who had a man photograph her through the peephole of her hotel room. Possibly the most violating, most perverted, creepy, awful thing that a woman would have to go. Imagine you get a call from your sister who tells you that that happened to her. Yeah, your wife. Your daughter. Your daughter.
that some guy, some creep, took a picture of her through a peephole. Your castmate. Your castmate. Dead man. And posted it on the internet. Dead man. Yeah, so that's what this guy just asked. Hey, Michael Bynette, did you give him that question? Here's the honesty. Yeah, that's exactly right. If they had given that job to some old big... ugly man, it wouldn't be near as much fun. Won't one. But what a joy it is to represent LSU in the postgame with victory and to celebrate victory in a postgame interview. By the way, I don't know if you can hear it, but as he's giving that explanation, by the way, Les Miles, the head coach, I don't fault him for his
sort of, you know, trying to make light of it. He was hit by a fastball. I don't think he really knew how to react to it. I think it was a shock and a surprise. But as you listen to the end of it, I want to see if you can notice the guy that asked the question going like this. It's not me. It will be. Listen. Listen into this. Yeah, that's exactly right. If they had given that job to some old big ugly man, it wouldn't be near as much fun. Won't won. But what a joy it is to represent LSU in the postgame with victory and to celebrate victory in a postgame interview with a very talented, very attractive woman. Oh, it gets worse. Oh, gosh. You know, they nabbed the guy that was filming her through the keyhole.
I'm not going to go there, Ted. I want to go there. What I'd like to know is how that guy pulled it off because I've been peeping through keyholes for years and I'm yet to see anything but a blank wall. Woods and Lauren just pushed away from the console and had looks on their face. Woods and Lauren like, total shock. Creepy old man. It's creepy for me. Jay's creeped out. I mean, whoa. If I were poor Aaron Andrews, I would be so upset by the whole interaction. Yeah, it's like being messed with again. You would be so upset that you would go on Dancing with the Stars afterwards. Yeah, for sure.
Maybe skating was a start. She's trying to reestablish an image as not being the girl that got peeped on. She's trying to parlay it into something else. You know, I'm about to come over this camera at you today. I would be so upset. I'd probably write a book. Oh, for sure. You know what I mean? Tell all. I'd write a tell all. Maybe with some of the images. Like the next day. That's what I would do. I'd probably go on Howard Stern. Oh, for sure. I'd go on all sorts of stuff. I'm sure you would. Yeah. Gosh. So what can we conclude about a woman, Woods? What's that? who has been violated, and then goes on Dancing with the Stars, Howard Stern, and writes a book. What can we conclude? Opportunistic? Yes. She was already in the public eye. I know. This is what she wanted to do. But no one wanted to see her do any of these things until she was... Well, why not take lemons and make lemonade? It's like Paris Hilton. Yes, L-O-B. It's not like Paris Hilton at all. How?
She didn't want the sex tape out either, but she made it. But still, when it leaked, she parlayed it. She parlayed it like crazy. Hey, I'm an Aaron Andrews lover. I love her. I think she's dynamite. Dynamite. Come on. That's one of the creepiest things I've ever heard. Damn, if I'm not impressed with your candor, I'm with you. Do I need to let that sit in a little bit before I ask my question? I don't know if we can go much longer, man. Yeah, I mean, might as well just call it a day. And neither can Ted. Oh, boy. Hey, Ted, mind if we take a look at the history on your computer? Yeah, right? I'm going to need to grab your cell phone and your briefcase for me, too, my friend. What I want to know is how he managed to pull that off. Like, bravo, creeper guy.
Oh, you mean the head coach? No, that's what the old man said. He said, I want to know how he managed to pull that off. Amazing. Like, pat the guy on the back. That's the arrested pervert. Good work, perv. Yeah. Hey, I just want to know what you think of that hot girl that was sexually abused. Yeah, it's so creepy. What do you think about it? What's it like to be interviewed by her? And, oh, by the way. How do you think he got through that window? Because I've been trying to get through windows for a long time. Where did he get his equipment? Yeah. I haven't been able to find a camera that fits in a peephole. It's so creepy. Is he auctioning his equipment on eBay, do you know? Since he's been in prison, what did he do with his spy equipment? Oh, it's so creepy. It is the gnarliest audio. Yesterday, Okra Winfrey did it again. She gave away a freaking ginormous prize. I'm going to give you a hint. It costs $19,790. Wow. $19,790. And she gave one to every audience member. And I'll tell you what it is now. Makes me think of being a kid. ELO. ELO. ELO. Remember this song, Woodsy? No. Love this song.
Great song. Yeah, I've heard it. My dad liked Yellow. I hear that stuff. It just takes me right back. I always thought of them as nerd rock, kind of. No, man. Yellow is good stuff. They didn't get enough pump, though, I think, out of their... No one ever really knew who they were. I always put them with the Alan Parsons project. You ever just have an opinion about something and then it becomes real? Do you? No. What were we talking about the other day that you said it? And you go, if you don't believe this, then you said it. You go, if I believe it... Then it's true. Then it's true. Yeah, if I believe it, then that's the way it should be. What is the thing that he thinks is dorky that nobody thinks is dorky? Harry Potter? Yeah, that's dorky. No, but it was something like normal. Pesto? I don't know. Pesto's dorky. Pesto! Yeah, it's dorky. It's dorky? It's old. He hasn't given you his thing on pesto? No, he says it's a bitch. He says it's from the 80s. He says it's dorky.
He's just dorky, and it's from the 80s. Yeah, Pesta was a big player in the 80s. You don't know what you're talking about. Disgusting herbs. That's your opinion. Me and you are going to box. Fine. As soon as the show's over, we're putting clubs on. Maybe we'll do some MMA. Put your little panties on. I'll put mine on. You know what's the worst? The Yankees. Baseball. Yorkies. You just say things. You just say things to make us mad. I think dorky boobs are really dorky. Now I know you're lying. La Jolla. Prospect. You're saying them to upset us. Is that DJ Skittles in there? Kids opinionated. So are you. So is she. So is he. You're the most opinionated dude on this show. I know, but what kills me is I don't say You know what's dorky white t-shirts? Pesto is lame. Pesto is so good. It's so gross. It's so good. He said to me one time, he goes, dude, pesto is like Patrick Nagel paintings. It's Nagels and cocaine in the 80s. Just have some pesto posses. So weird. What are you even talking about? He doesn't know. Yes, I do. And there's a few things that are just...
You know, random things. They're not like anything that you would have. That's what it is, Woods. I just got it. It isn't that you're opinionated. Opinionated is fine. You'll be opinionated about, like, the color blue. Yeah. And you will decide the color blue is, like, really weird. And anybody, like, it's dorky. And we'll be like, blue? And you'll go, yeah, dude. 80s. Who wears blue? Who wears blue? And you're so stupid. My brother Sam used to go, I can't believe anybody would wear gray. And I go, what? He goes, if I see somebody wear gray, I think to myself, that person, this is his exact words, the person's a loser. What? I love gray. I go, huh? He goes, gray cars? The stupidest thing I've ever seen. And I was like, the guy's entitled to his own opinion. But it's such an odd. It is. That's weird. You're not, you know, you can't. Republican, Democrat, you know, listen. There's like, you know, there's really strong sort of, you know, doctrine that goes behind each one. Maybe you have a really strong, even your thing about MMA. I think you're, you know, it's based on a strong opinion about violence. I get that.
But every once in a while, you'll go, rice. Rice is delicious. Rice. The only people that would eat rice would be like, I think of midgets when I think of rice. He makes anyone who disagrees with him feel dumb. Should I just leave and you guys can have a little round table? I love pesto, by the way, Woods. It's disgusting. Everyone loves it. I wanted to make him my pesto. Repugnant. He won't. It stays in your mouth for weeks. Why don't you make us your pesto, Mike? Yeah. Throw some sun-dried tomatoes in there, too. I do. 1988. Real good. Sonoma Valley. Don't point at me because it's a pine nut. It's a pine nut. You can't never put some pine nuts in there. Everyone keeps thinking now I can never have pine nuts again. I thought you said you get pine nuts. I'm not going to eat raw ones, okay? She gets something. L.O.B. has something called pine mouth. I don't have it. She had it for a week. I don't have it. It's like an STD. There's 14% of the female population that gets pine mouth. No, there's like 0.14% of the entire world population. Ever just be real crazy at some point? I swear. I swear. Okay, so what did Oprah give away that cost $19,790?
To every person. By the way, Rebecca had it on. So did Jamie. So I watched it. So did I. Did you see the guy in the suit jumping around like a little fruit? Did you see him? Maybe the girls on the show find out what the clip is. The guys all watch Oprah. Not all the guys. Me and Woods watched Oprah yesterday and the girls were playing soccer. Actually I was playing... tackle football. Right. You're lifting weights with Sienna. You're spotting Sienna. Let's recap this. Mikey wants to watch Oprah with Woods and he also wants to make a pesto. What's going on in here? And measure pieces in the bathroom. Now listen. I wish I knew how to quit you. Now listen. These women might as well have been frothing at the mouth. She gave them rabies. Yes. She gave that studio audience rabies.
Dude there was a guy that was like This is a cute little red beetle an icon a classic from Volkswagen I happen to own one, and it is one of my favorite things. I call it my toodle car, because I toodle around. You call it your toodle car. Do you hear the people in the background? What? They're like, okay, okay, keep going. I call it my buffet car, because I only use it to drive to buffets. That's what it is. It's my library car. Yeah, it's my library car. Every eight years, I go to the library, and this is the car that I use to go. Wanted to give.
I wanted to give every one of these to you, but VW said, no. They did. They said, sorry, Oprah, we cannot give everybody this Beatle. I tried, but they said, maybe we can do one better. They said, we cannot give you this Beatle. But how about if we give each person in your audience the brand new, totally redesigned 2012 Volkswagen. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. What does Oprah do when everyone goes nuts? Does she dance or just like? She's eating pizza. You know, she's on a throne with a cigarette.
And she just looks at them straight-faced. No smile. She just goes... Peasants. They're screaming. She's just sitting there. Minions. There was a girl that was like that. You should bawly cry. Why do I know this? Why do you know this? If the Mikey show had a TV show, we would, like a Saturday Night Live deal, I would have me and Jay and Woods have mascara running down our face. And we would be like... I can't believe the Beatles only $19,000 brand new. Well, yeah, it said between $19,700 and $24,000 blah, blah, blah. So whether or not she got them with all the accessories and all that. Maybe depending on the state, there's different taxes and stuff. And that's what they start at. I mean, they start at $19,000. So who knows? Oh, my gosh. How do you get in that audience? And Wood said yesterday, or one of you guys said, Sienna.
You never know. You just go and you don't know if you're on the special show. They send you a date, like a confirmation, like you were chosen for this day. Yeah. And you apply. Can you imagine you're in there and all of a sudden you realize. Holy cow, I'm in on the day where they're giving away all the junk. Oh, my God. I cry watching it. Really? I'll tell you right now. I love it for people. Oh, yeah, it's cool. I had the mute on, you know, because Rebecca was going in and out, and I was actually talking to our general manager, Mr. Rick R. Jackson. And I'm really trying to pay attention to the conversation with Mr. Rick R. R. Jackson. And it's hard to because I see grown men jumping up and down. Jumping up and down. Did you tell Rick R. Jackson that you were watching Oprah and you needed a minute to compose yourself? I did. I really want to listen to what you're saying. Just give me a minute, Rick. He just gave away a beat off. Yeah.
It's so funny, too, because she'll give away incredible stuff. Like on the show on Friday, the first thing was a diamond watch. And like five things later, it's a lasagna pen. And people's reaction. This is the same. They're still like. I'm going to make lasagna tonight. It's an odorless turn. Oh, my God. Like the Incredible Hulk
He had a white V-neck on, undershirt, and he just grabbed by the V and just ripped! Wow. Mikey is in the fetal position against the corner of the walls. And scene. Well done. Well done. Ouch. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. If you had done that in Oprah's audience, you would have made the news, guaranteed. You should be on the news now. You should be on the news now. Woods, Woods, Woods, Woods, Woods. I'm going to tell you something. I'm going to tell you something. In 23 years of being on the radio. In 23 years of being on the radio. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen. Thank you. You guys, did that not happen in slow motion? I looked at him and I was like, is he going to do it? I heard it start a little bit and then you went for it. That is the funniest thing I've ever seen.
He was so excited. He ripped his shirt off. For a lasagna pan. For a lasagna pan. It was an odorless turd, actually. That's the one that got me. I'm like, how do we ever come back on the radio? What do we do? And scene. That should have been in a movie. It should have been in a movie. I'm in pain. I'm in physical pain. I'm going to tell you this. If there had been people in the studio, they would have peed. There's no doubt in my mind. I can't believe I didn't. I almost peed. My cheeks hurt. Oh my gosh. All I could do is just scream out loud. It was so funny. Holy cow. I think Jay did get some pictures. I'm posting them right now. Oh my gosh. My head hurts so bad. Now he's wearing a zip-up sweatshirt with no shirt underneath. Oh my gosh. Sweating. Oh my gosh. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen somebody do on the radio. Ever. Ever. And the great thing about it was... Not great radio necessarily. Well, it was because I actually heard the rip.
We need to get that clip again. And so we can hear the rip. Oh, wow. I'll never stop thinking of that. It's already up. Oh, yeah. One's ripped out of his shirt. There it is. Oh, my gosh, dude. Okay. Great pictures. Way to go, Ansel Adams. Hey, I'm with one hand. Is that Annie Leibovitz in there? I can't tell. Or Annie. I said Annie. Where are the pictures? Are they on our... No, I gotta put a link to that page. I would go to Facebook. I can't even, like, talk because my mouth hurts from smiling. I'm gonna laugh all over again. I was like... Oh, I can't... That was the best. Holy cow. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. All right. Hillary, how are you? Oh, God, I'm winded. I'm good. I have all kinds of good stuff. Nothing is going to top that. You ever seen a guy rip his shirt off in the studio? Never seen a guy do that, and I've never seen someone do it for an odorless turn. Yeah. I'm getting really excited. You get an odorless turn. You get an odorless turn. We all get odorless turn.
Holy cow. He ripped his shirt off over and over and listed. He's looking, he's dying. So great. 570-1949 is the number, and the lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll be back tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. We can't do that again, but we'll try. We'll try. Michael Show's out late.