The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/22/11
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Chargers fandomUC Davis protestsradio comedycelebrity controversyparentingmarriage and familyaddiction recoveryR Factor awardsan diego radiothe mikey showchargersuc davis
Mikey Esparza and the crew argued that Sean Phillips was wrong to call critical Chargers supporters fake fans, while splitting sharply over whether UC Davis protesters who ignored warnings bore any responsibility for being pepper-sprayed. Lauren O'Brien's drunken Wilson Phillips singalong, Jay Isbell's repeated 'well' for 'whale' and caller-written Chuck Norris-style 'J Facts' supplied the show's biggest running jokes. A listener's plan to marry a best friend she did not love so she could have a family and be taken care of sparked a serious argument about honesty, single parenthood, church expectations and settling for security. Kevin Smith explained how Jay and Silent Bob Get Old helps Jason Mewes stay sober, and the show closed with Mikey winning Fox 5's R-Factor and donating his prize certificate plus $100 to an Operation Santa family.
What happened, in order
Fans vs. Sean Phillips
After Sean Phillips told 'fake fans' to suck it on Twitter, Mikey and the crew argued that paying Chargers supporters can criticize five straight losses without surrendering their fandom.
UC Davis Pepper-Spray Debate
Lauren O'Brien condemned the pepper-spraying of seated UC Davis protesters, while Mikey argued that the students had ignored repeated orders and warnings before Officer Pike sprayed them.
Free Whaley
Jay repeatedly pronounced 'whale' as 'well,' prompting an extended riff about killer wells, Free Whaley and Oregon's infamous exploding whale.
The Sandusky Interview
After hearing Frankie Probst describe Jerry Sandusky showering, wrestling and touching his leg, the hosts said the accumulating testimony and Sandusky's own admissions made the allegations unusually convincing.
The 100-Pound Scrotum
The crew discussed a Las Vegas man's fear of surgery for a 100-pound scrotum, debated whether they would watch a documentary about it and unleashed a long barrage of crude puns.
Whoopi's Parade Exception
The hosts mocked Whoopi Goldberg for supporting Occupy Wall Street until protesters threatened to disrupt the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, which she framed as an event for children.
Drunk L.O.B. at the Wedding
The show replayed Lauren O'Brien drunkenly singing Wilson Phillips at a wedding while her boyfriend Matt Commerce tried to steer her back toward interviewing guests.
Parenting in Real Time
Mikey described correcting his son Jake for pointing at a stranger, then he and Rebecca wrestled with how to explain the difference between a playful falsehood and a harmful lie.
Marriage Without Love
A listener asking whether to marry a best friend she did not love so she could have a family and be taken care of sparked a fierce argument about honesty, settling, church expectations and single parenthood.
J Facts
Callers transformed Chuck Norris jokes into grandiose 'J Facts' about Jay Isbell, who gleefully interrupted the show to keep the tributes coming.
Kevin Smith Gets Candid
Kevin Smith explained that Jay and Silent Bob Get Old mixes comedy with a public sobriety check-in that helps his longtime friend Jason Mewes remain accountable after heroin and OxyContin addiction.
Mikey Wins the R-Factor
Mikey Esparza won Fox 5's R-Factor, credited Lauren O'Brien, Woodsy and Jay Isbell, and pledged his restaurant gift certificate plus another $100 to an Operation Santa family.
People mentioned
Mikey EsparzaLauren O'BrienWoodsyJay IsbellSean PhillipsOfficer PikeJerry SanduskyFrankie ProbstWhoopi GoldbergMatt CommerceRebecca EsparzaJake EsparzaKevin SmithJason Mewes
37,886 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
I've won one game. One or two? One or two. One or two. Something like that. No, no, no. You don't have to check. You sure? Yeah, I'm positive. I think I'd like to tell everyone. No, no, no. I don't want you to. But I'd like to tell everyone. I know. I've won a game. One game. And listen, I'm still trying. I know. Keep picking guys up so that guys like me that actually have a shot can't pick them up. I don't want to quit. I'm your friend, though. Good morning. It's a Mikey show. And we are ready to go. Wait till we tell you about what Sean Phillips was tweeting. Talk about Monday Night Football. Talk about the happenings with UC Davis. The kids that got pepper sprayed. We want to hear from you. 570-1949. They're supposed to announce this morning the winner of the R-Factor. It came down to me and Boston Robb of all people. Weird. Crazy. Fox 5 is going to announce it between what? 7 and 10? 7 and 10. Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi. The info that I saw. Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi. Be glad when it's over, pal. Oh, I will be so glad. The whole thing is... Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi. Thank you. Exactly. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. And I went to put on my... I went to put on one of my favorite t-shirts today. My Trilolo t-shirt that L.O.B. got for me. Yep. And it has... It was already...
bleached and the collar. And I didn't care. I continued to wear it. Yes, you did. It now has blue on it and is unserviceable. It is now unserviceable. Can't be worn. I almost wore it with the blue. You should wear it. How about I make it tie-dye for you? I'm going to wear it. I'm going to wear it. Just wear it. I'm going to wear it. I don't care. I mean, nobody sees us. I acted like a baby. Oh, yeah. I've done that. Oh, is it over laundry? Yeah. I pulled it off of the thing and I put it on. I didn't see it. I put it on, sprayed my cologne on. Walked over to the full length and went... Ripped it off. Yeah, throw it right on the bathroom floor. That's what I do. Do you want me to tie-dye it for you? No, I don't want to wear tie-dye. I don't want to wear tie-dye. Funny thing is, she could. I could. Of course she could. Of course she's into that stuff, you know? Do you have any tie-dye items? Of course you do. Ridiculous question. Ridiculous. I wanted a tie-dye shirt so bad when I was in like... Seventh grade. I thought it was the coolest thing. I was like, gotta get a tie-dye. What I really wanted was a tie-dye hard rock shirt. You did? I did. I don't know why. Gotta have a hard rock cafe tie-dye. Gotta have one. Oh, wow. I also wanted one of those ponchos that all the surfers wore, you know, with the hood. I just thought they were the coolest thing. They had like a Corona emblem on the back. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought those were the raddest. Those were cool. Never could find one.
Yeah, I wasn't allowed to wear something like that. They always smelled like wet hay. They did. They did. They smelled like wet hay. I was up with those things. True statement. Wet hay. True statement. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. Woodsy's 36. He is... Chubby? Chubby. I wasn't going to say this. Oh, I was just trying to help you. I thought you were... No. I wasn't going to say... Who's that handsome devil? That's what I was going to say. Totally different take. Different taste than yours. It's a little different. Woodsy's 36 and loves dogs. He is a major league dog lover. Do you know bees and dogs can help fear? I didn't know that. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L.O.B., is a comedian. And she is 30 years of age. And she is a... Original origin is New Jersey. That's right. Where are you born? What town?
Actually, I was born in Memphis, Tennessee. I knew that. On Elvis Presley Boulevard. Southern girl. How about that? Jay has a thin wiener. Are you still talking about me? I was like, hey, hey. Jay has a thin wiener. I'll show it to you if you want to see it. I don't. I don't want to. That's out loud. Jay is 48 years of age. He's over to die. No, that's not ridiculous. Come on, that's an O-arch. He's 48 years old, but he looks much younger than that. And he's from, he's a southern guy too. Yep, Tejas. From Texas. And screening phones for us today is Will. It's Will. It's Will. Word of the day, eagle. When you hear me say eagle. Yes, just like that. That's an eagle. Whoa. Identical Eagle. Identical Eagle. Wow. Mm-hmm. Then you call 570-194-9. Wow. And if you are caller nine, we will give you a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld and lunch for four at Rubio's. I'll make a day of it. You make a family day. That's right. I'm all in. It's family day. Look at some dolphins, then go eat some fish tacos. Or vice versa. Exactly. M1 Ninja from Encinitas. Good morning, guys. Hi. Hi.
I know it's a little preemptive. No, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't jinx it. Don't jinx it. I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say happy Thanksgiving. Thank you. Now it's going to be a miserable Thanksgiving. No, I wasn't going to say happy anything else or congrats on anything else. I'm not a jinxer. Thank you. But I knew I couldn't call in around 7 because I want to be on a run. But I thought I would just call in. Say hello and happy. Hey, thank you. I appreciate that. Thank you very much. We don't want to. What you never do is before anything has happened, you don't assume it. Yeah. You wait. And to be honest with you, thank you for the call. To be honest with you, I am concerned. And then I'm concerned. Well, yeah, I am. I want to say, I don't care. I do care. You do care. I care. You don't have your carriage before your eggs in a basket. Exactly. Can't count your chickens. Can't count your chickens before they hatch. Don't eat your tortillas before you eat your enchiladas. Yeah, enchiladas. And people are probably saying, well, what is he talking about? The R factor. Yeah. It's this thing that Fox 5 is doing where they're trying to find the favorite morning DJ in San Diego.
If I were a phony schmuck, I would say, I don't care. I care so much. It extends past just morning. Yeah, it does. That's right. It's like all these DJs. It's cool, man. It's going to be awesome if you win. It's quite an accolade. Yeah, and if I said I didn't care, I'm a big fat liar because I care. Don't look at me like, Jake. Hey, learn that right. Even if you win, you're still half that scenario, Mike. You're big and fat. You're not a liar. I'll tell you that. You are not. I've known that all along. No way, Jose. It's funny because he's fat. M1, cave dweller from Wisconsin. Hey, good morning, guys. Good morning. Now that I can't talk about the thing I wanted to talk about. Do not. Don't say. What is wrong with you? Shut up. Shut up. Please don't. Please. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Mom, please stop calling me. What were you calling to say, Cave Dweller? No, not that. Think of something else. Who wants to talk about Occupy?
Nobody. Oh, boy. You're like a grandmother walking in on you when you're making out with a girl. Oh, my gosh. You want the tears to come out of my eyes? Please, please, please, please, please. I had to throw that. I know, I know, I know, I know. No, no, no. All right, thanks, Rick. Thank you, Cave Dollar. We love you. We love you. Thank you. Well, we have a lot of things to talk about, including the guy with the 100-pound scrotum. Oh, yeah. How is that, Mikey? None I've been through enough. I mean, at this point. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be. Why don't you just leave me alone? But don't worry. It'll be fine because Jay is our newsboy. And so he will get his, all right? Because he's going to be reading the news. And we enjoy it because he'll make a flub. Will I? Won't you? Yes, I will. What's he? Yes, sir. You got a couple things to tell us. One, Monday Night Football, and the other is what Sean Phillips, defensive end San Diego Chargers, was tweeting. Yeah, let's start with Sean Phillips. He hasn't played in about four games. He's got a hurt foot. So he took to Twitter and said, quote, to all the fake fans, suck it, because talking-ish won't get us anywhere. How's your perfect life? My point exactly.
Then later. Identical Woods. Yeah. Then later, he says, maybe people don't understand. I never said all fans. I just said the fake ones. The real ones ride or die, and I always show them love. I have a question. Yeah. Because you and I have beef about fans and what a fan is. We do? Didn't we last week? What is it? About the Chargers and stuff. And you always say, listen, I'm in no matter what. Oh, yeah, I was kidding. I was kidding. Okay, good. I'm a fair weather fan. I think a fan has the right to be like, look, dude, I buy your jerseys, I watch your games, I buy everything, I go to the games. If I want to run mouth that you're a fat load, I can. Oh, now that I do not agree with. Oh, I do? Yeah, that's fine. Well, I'm not going to call it. Well, obviously, not to face it, kill me. Yeah, I mean, but I wouldn't even on the radio, I'm not going to say. And, hey, to each their own. I know that's your bit. That's not my bit, per se. Like, I'm not going to be like, you know what, I will call people out for doing stupid stuff. Oh, yeah. But, like. Yeah, and see, the reason I think that's okay is because it's, like, the San Diego Chargers, although I love them a lot, they're not my life. Well, right. But I love them a lot. And if they lose five games in a row, as a fan, are you not entitled to say, dude. Come on. That doesn't make you a fake fan. LLB. How about.
She's from New Jersey, but her home team is the Philadelphia Eagles. You think those fans say some stuff? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Brutal. Like easy Sean Phillips. Sean Phillips, imagine if you played for the Eagles. Right. Lose five in a row in Philly. Yeah. Lose three in a row playing baseball for the New York Yankees. It's a lot different. And here's the other thing. I mean, if he were to put himself in the mindset of the average San Diego Charger fan. Imagine what this is like the last few years. And I know that he's probably saying to himself, well, imagine what it's like for us living it. I totally, and I get that too. And I don't, I guess you have to say, well, I blame the players. But I don't know, man. It's the same bit. I mean, I just wish that we, I ask myself this. At the end of the day, I go like this. I go, if the head coach of the San Diego Chargers were Bill Cowher, Is this the same team? I don't think so, but I'm not a pro, man. I'm not a general manager for a football team. I'm just a dude that loves the Chargers. Yeah, I think you're right. We all get to say what we think about it. Absolutely. Tell me a coach doesn't make the difference. I grew up in Dallas, Texas when Jimmy Johnson was the coach of the Dallas Cowboys. Couldn't beat him. You couldn't beat that team. Jimmy leaves. Those guys have been a turd.
A big fat turd ever. And they had the same dudes. Same guys. And they won one with Switzer, but he inherited that team. And then from there, out. I want people that want to win. Right. And that's the deal, man. It's like, hey, Sean, you've lost five in a row. Yeah. And you play in a pretty weak division as it is. Yeah, I mean. You're lucky you play in that division. You know what I can go with? If he had said this, I would agree with it. If you don't have anything nice to say, just shut up. And I'm fine with that. That ain't professional sports, dude. I mean, that would be people sitting in the stands like this. Yes. Yeah. That's what they do at golf matches and tennis. Listen, that's football. Those guys run mouth on the field. Fans are going to run mouth about poor play. And it's been five games in a row of poor play. And the fan that pays your salary has a right to express his concern without being a jerk. Or saying something awful, you know? Yeah, you don't have to be personal, right? Right. You don't have to get personal. 570-1949. This is M1 San Diego from Point Loma. What's up? Good morning, Mikey Show. Good morning. You guys are awesome. And I'm so glad that you're on this radio station. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. We are, too. I want to...
Thank you, guys. Thank the Chargers for helping out the Raiders here. It's the Raider guy again. It's the Raider guy. Cutler I'm talking about. It's a sad thing to see, but... And he comes home crying to his mom? You're talking about Cutler, right? Yeah, he broke his thumb. He's out five to six weeks. He's going to have surgery. Oh, man. He comes home crying to his mom? The Bears next. Yeah, and going to the den. Going to the Bears den. The Bears den. Right. No, they're coming to Oakland. Oh, they're coming to Oakland. So they're leaving the Bears down, Jay. Coming out. It's garbage. Yeah. You guys stick with it. You guys are a great show. And good luck today. Thank you. One thing you remember about Sean Phillips is this happened on Twitter. He's probably getting tweets from people that are total jackasses. Oh, I'm sure. And it's hard not to react sometimes. Tell me about it. Yeah. Yeah.
Maybe he's wired like you are. He's wired like a kid. Fair enough. Fine. Sean, you're forgiven. Let's see. M1 Podcast from Temecula. I am M1 Podcast. There he is. What's up? It's been a long time, fellas. That's right. What's going on? Not too much. You've been following the Facebook. Oh, hey. Excuse me. Podcast. Yeah. You just said it's been a long time, fellas. Yeah. And there's a, you know. I like her bass. There's a girl here, too. And so, you know, I think you got to. Super duper fly home. Let me attempt to redeem myself. Thank you. L.O.B. is so rad. She's just like one of the fellas. That's right. There you go. Good cover up. And because of L.O.B., I've got one word. Radishes.
Can you just tell him my name's Lauren? That was one of the funniest things. Now, for those, hang on. For those of you that don't know, M1 Podcast will at times on the message boards and also on the phone say things that no one knows what he's talking about. That's his bit. His bit is, hey. I will say something. No one will know what I'm talking about, including the people that it's actually about. Podcasts will post things on our Facebook page. And I don't have a clue what he's talking about. From old shows. Because he listens to the podcast from two months ago. He's always two months behind what The Mikey Show is currently doing. However, his Radishes reference is from last week. So I'm guessing you're getting caught up. Yeah, maybe you're catching up. Yeah, and I was wondering, are you guys going to hold a special fundraiser for our pal M1 Whooby? Because did you see her post about getting $1.50 in her coffee cup? She didn't. What's he talking about? They'll understand, and I do apologize for not posting Trollolo last Friday. It's just been... Oh, no, no, no, you're good, you're good. Yeah, you don't have to, you don't have to. We've got our... It's all good. I like it. He's got different versions of it every time.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for the smoothness. Thank you for the smoothness for which that was all carried out. Don Collion, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your daughter's wedding. An identical podcast. On the day of your daughter's wedding. And I hope that their first child... Be a masculine child. I pledge my ever-ending loyalty. I don't know what you're talking about. For your daughter's bridal purse. No one knows what you're talking about. Thank you. Don Cullion. Yes. I'm going to leave you now. Thank you. Because I know you are busy. Appreciate it. All right. Thanks a lot. Good call. Get the bricks, pal. All righty. Please do. Please just do me a favor.
And hit the bricks, because I don't know what you're talking about. Hit the bricks, pal, and beat it, because you are going out. The chancellor at UC Davis has said what, Jay? Has outrage mounted over police use of pressure. Oh, wow, wow, wow. And nonviolence. No, no, no, no, Jay, Jay, perhaps you didn't understand the question. I know, I was just, I had already practiced this, okay? I knew where I was going with this. But what I was saying is the chancellor at UC Davis has said what? You want it simple? Yes. She apologized. I apologized. And she put the police chief on leave, paid leave. The police chief wasn't even there, I bet. Yeah, he was. He was? Oh, he was. Yeah, he was. He witnessed it. He's in the video. Yeah. He was a big part of the whole thing. And although she ordered the removal of tents, she did not authorize use of chemicals whatsoever. They're calling for her head. They are definitely calling for her head. As a matter of fact, the assistant English professor, Nathan Brown, who launched an online petition, drive to unseat her. Oh, Nathan. He called for a response Friday. And he says that she's very transparent in her reaction to the whole thing. It's like, yeah, typical now you're coming out and saying this. Well, yeah, because the pressure's on. What is she supposed to do? Be defiant and go, I don't care what you people think. I'm glad they got maced in the face. You know what I mean?
I mean, when somebody gets that. Don't chase me, bro. Well, then get up. Don't chase me, bro. I'm not, but I'm asking you to leave. Oh, as long as you give a heads up, it's okay to beat people up. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. Damn. Hey, kid, get up or I'm going to smack you in the head. Wow. What? Yeah, hey. Is that what it was like? I told you. Is that what it was like? I effing told you, you stupid kid. Stupid kid. Why don't you listen? Are you screaming at me? Well, L.O.B. is very against what they did and doesn't see any reason why they would do what they did. Who is for what they did? Well, it isn't that you're for what they did. You know, it isn't that I'm for it. It's just that when I saw it, I knew, well, there's got to be more to this story. They were probably told to leave, which they were. And they were also told, if you don't leave here, we're going to spray you. And they didn't. And then they sprayed him.
All the people standing? So if you're sitting, it's okay to be sprayed, but you're standing. It was those kids that were blocking that were sitting there. It was 13. And I saw police officers step over them back and forth a number of times. Oh, yeah. Well, when the first officer ran out, Officer Pike, I believe it was, ran out of his pepper spray. It was okay. One of his comrades came through and was sure to finish him off. Did you see him with the rubber bullet guns, too? They had the guns all drawn like they were going to. My friend has a rubber bullet lodged into his hand. Being a cop ain't easy all the time, man. That ain't easy. You know who doesn't have a rubber bullet lodged into their hand? The kids that weren't at that stupid thing. We were at a college block party that went crazy. Not everyone that was there was guilty. Is it still lodged in his hand? He passed away. Oh, God. Oh, wow. From his hand? Not because of that. No, he did a tour in Afghanistan. He served his country, but police officers didn't exactly serve him. I'm glad you said that. Thank you for saying that. Perfect. Wow. That's a good segue. Thanks, Jay. Thank you for just uplifting the entire group here.
I just wanted to know. So, yes, it is still launched. It's not funny! You can stop there. You better stop there or she's going to kill us all. Oh, wow. Killed in the line of duty. Oh, God, no! Come on! So, dot, dot, dot. This show, Rock Center. I guess, you know, Rock Center is the one that Bob Costas was on interviewing Jerry Sandusky. Yeah. In the middle of all of that stuff that was going on, he got Jerry Sandusky. Apparently, this show is capable of getting very big interviews. And apparently, last night was no exception. We'll give you that audio and play buzzword when we come back. So, call us right now and pick who you want to represent you in buzzword. Me, Helleby, or Woodsy.
If I call Mikey Show now, call 570-1949 or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny presented by Coors Light Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the campus of USD featuring My Morning Jacket. My Morning Jacket. featuring two-door cinema club matt and kim delta spirit and the blackout party tickets are on sale now get yours at tickets.com the jenny craig pavilion box office on the usd campus or fm949sd.com
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Are they announcing it? They're announcing the winner. Also coming out. Thanksgiving is on Thursday, so you don't know. Oh, Jay just was flagging me and he was pointing at the screen. And I looked up at the screen and it said we're going to be announcing the winner of the R factor. And he gave me a heart attack. He gave me a heart attack. I know I'm supposed to not care. I care. AT&T U-verse. All right. Why is AT&T U-verse great? A lot of reasons. First of all, AT&T U-verse is $29 a month for six months with a DVR included. And here's the thing with that. With a DVR included, this DVR and this receiver is wireless. And so you don't have to be tethered to a cable socket. You can put this thing wherever you want to, and you can plug it in wherever there's a power source. So that means if you want to be in the garage working on your car,
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What? We're going to miss it. Uh, this backpack just got really heavy, guys. All right, everybody back in the car. We are going to McDonald's. Yeah, good. The holidays can be hectic, so participating McDonald's will be open on Thanksgiving Day. Take a break and visit your nearest location until 2 p.m. or later. Happy Thanksgiving from McDonald's. It's football season at North Park's number one bar and grill. U31 has the Sunday ticket with every game on 20 big screen TVs. Every Sunday they serve a free breakfast buffet from 10 to 11 a.m. U31 Bar and Grill in North Park, your football headquarters. This report is brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. With Wawanisa's recent change in car rates, many San Diego good drivers could save even more by switching. Call 877-WA-WANESA or you can go to WawanisaUS.com. Well, it looks like we've got some slowing here this morning as you travel on to the 805 southbound after H Street. It's a car stuck in the center divider. Problem on the 5 northbound at Via De La Valle. There's an accident sitting on that right shoulder. It's a big rig in a car.
The Coronado Bridge northbound mid-span, an accident that's got things tied up in that area. This report brought to you by Del Taco. Tuesday, taco night at Del Taco. Right now, get three regular tacos for just $109. That's three tacos for $109 at Del Taco. Every Tuesday from 3 to 11 at participating Del Taco restaurants. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. The Mikey Show. Oh, yeah. Mike. Mikey. I'm in love with Woods. Yeah, that's it. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. Don't forget, word of the day is eagle. And I will say that word sometime between now and 10 o'clock. And then when you hear that word and I weave it into a sentence, and you're calling nine, we'll give you SeaWorld tickets, four of them, and lunch for four at Rubio's. So it'll be a whole nice day out. So what is going on? Sorry, I don't want to say a fish. It is not a fish, right, Jay? It is a mammal. It is a mammal. What is the deal with this story, Jay? Wow, I wish I would have read this one. Let's see. It seems like they have decided. I don't have a clue, honestly. I've read everyone. I could tell you about scrotums. I could tell you about... Isolate. I could tell you about designer drugs in the military. That's another isolate.
But apparently, there's bits of blubber that went flying everywhere when they blew this thing up. They blew what up? I don't know. There's a well that's like a well. What's a well? It's a big fish. It's the only reason I wanted to do this story. Don't worry about it, Jay. The only reason I wanted to do this story is I had to hear you say that there was a well that they were trying to blow up. Like a wishing well. Like a wishing well. No. No. Like a blue well or a gray well or a killer well. It's a fin. Whale. No, no, no. Like a killer well. A killer well. Whale. You know how in the movie with Tom Hanks where he's out in the... Castaway. Castaway. You know how in the movie Castaway, he finally creates a raft and he's out there. And in the blue murky deep... Up comes a well. A well. And from its blowhole blows all this air. Right. And a lot of people would think to themselves, oh my gosh, how frightening if a well came up right next to me. Right. Is this well going to eat me or is it going to be friendly? Do you remember that movie Free Whaley? Yes. Free Whaley. No, it was Free Whaley. Free Whaley. Yes. Free Whaley. Free Whaley. Yeah, it was about the killer well that...
they finally released back into captivity. That's a sad story because in reality, that well, I believe, actually passed on. Yeah. Killed himself. You know. Yeah. Well, this one, this story is about a whale in Oregon that they disposed of with dynamite. Where's Oregon? Oregon. It's next to Washington. It said bits of blubber. It was in 1970 and bits of the blubber went flying everywhere. One piece big enough to crash a car or crash a car. And then the... Well in San Diego's statuses. They're still doing nothing to you. Still dead. Yeah, still dead. It's still dead. It's not coming back yet. Still not coming back. They're going to try to get it out of there today. Do you know that yesterday, Jay wrote an email to all of us suggesting that he not do the news anymore. And I said, are you freaking kidding me? All's well that ends well. All's well. That ends well. And ends well. Thank you, Lord. For him. I mean, how could he possibly think that we would ever stop letting him do the news? I mean, it's more fun. It's too fun. It's too fun to stop. About a whale in Oregon. That's right. Oregon. There you go. Oh, my goodness. There it is. Now I got it. I was confused at first.
But then I kept trying, and as soon as I did, then I got it. There you go. Hopefully she gets put in the general populace, whatever it's called. General populace. There, I got it now. There we go. There. All right. So this piece of tantalizing audio that I'm about to play for you was from Rock Center, this TV show with Brian Williams, who got the exclusive interview with Jerry Sandusky, the pervert. in Penn State that worked for Penn State that is accused of how many boys, do they say? At first it was eight. Now there's, I think, ten more that's come out. This is a kid named Frankie Probst who was mentored by Jerry Sandusky on his show. Did you guys shower together? After workouts, yes, but I'm used to getting a shower after athletic events anyway or working out, so I looked at it. I'm getting a shower. Did you guys ever wrestle on the ground or get physical in that way? I mean, like, kind of wrestle around sometimes, but, I mean, well, it was just kind of, like, normal like a father would do. And was there any time that he ever tried to touch you in a way that was inappropriate, touch your genitals? Uh-uh. Nothing? Not that I recall. Over time, though, Frankie says he began to feel ill at ease around Sandusky. He did put his hand on your leg when he drove, but... Where on your leg? Like, right.
Above the knee. So when he was driving, should have two hands on the steering wheel and he would put his hand on your leg. Did that make you feel uncomfortable? You know what I think is the thing that as a community gets us the worst about this story? Is that I think that with a lot of stories, you really, like with a lot of stories where somebody is arrested or whatever. there might be this slight doubt in the back of your mind. Right, right. Yeah. And I think that what's so chilling about this one is that as a group, we don't feel that. We feel like it's like, for sure. Yeah, I mean, there's no doubt. Like, he hasn't been tried yet, but I have to admit, I feel that these people aren't lying. No. What's the motivation for life? What's the motivation? Because it's embarrassing for them. Right. The whole thing is embarrassing for them. Well, that and the fact. You have an eyewitness and somebody that heard some disgusting stuff going on. It's just so far above anything we've ever heard. More from Frankie Probst. Jerry Sandusky is essentially now being portrayed as a monster. How does that make you feel? I mean, I really have no comment. Until everything comes out, you can't really say what the guy is until we find out if he's guilty or not. Now, again, this is a kid who says,
Nothing weird ever went on, but he did touch my leg when we were driving. And it made me uncomfortable. It made me uncomfortable. And all these kids have basically said the same thing. He does this bit where he puts his hand on their leg. He said it, by the way. He said it. Yes. They interviewed Sandusky. He said, yeah, I did put my hand on their legs. Yeah, I did shower with them. He's admitted so much that's already like, dude, that ain't right. He says he's not sexually attracted to them, but he enjoys young people. Yeah, which, and it was so weird because when they asked, are you sexually attracted? He paused. You know, they did a, Jon Stewart had this thing on and they were playing the audio that we played. And he said, he goes, well, you got to think Sandusky, you know, shouldn't have done that without his, you know, he's got to have his lawyer there with him. Well, his lawyer was there with him during the interview. Are you kidding me? And then John Stewart goes, yeah, and this is also the same attorney that impregnated a 16-year-old girl, like, a couple of years before. It's the creepiest, like, it's these two creeps. The creep leading the creep. Yeah, the creep leading the creep. How do you keep your license? I don't know. I don't know. It's just insane. And, you know, John Stewart's like, oh, wait, his attorney was there with him. That is creepy.
All right, buzzword. The way that it's played, the way that you play buzzword is Jay gives us a word. And then he gives us a clue. And within that clue is the word that he gave us. We always use the egg example. If the word were egg and he said, you are very embarrassed. Egg on your face. Egg on your face. Yell it out. Now, you got to pick which one of us you think will win for you. 570-1949. M1 Daniel from Oceanside. Who do you want? I'll go with L.O.B. Oh, the golden girl. She always wins. M1 Super D from Santee. Who do you want? I'm going with Wood. Mikey's always last. M1 Julian from Fallbrook. You have me. Hang on a line. I wonder why they call her Super D. I don't know. I do know this. I know that there's a guy that works here named Julian, and yesterday me and L.O.B. walked by him, and I knew that L.O.B. was looking him up and down. If I were with Woods, Woods would have said, L.O.B. Right in Julian's face. I'd love to do it. He is a handsome dude. He sure is. All right, what is the word of the day? Let's have it. Well, first off.
We're playing for a pair of tickets to see Like There's No Tomorrow, December 3rd at the La Jolla Museum of Contemporary Arts. Okay. What is the word? Today's word is nail. N-A-I-L. What's nail? N-A-I-L. Nail. Nail. Nail. Nail. Let's do this. Here we go. One with a nervous bad habit. Bite your nails! One who bites his nails! Nailbiter! Nailbiter is the exact... Answer. It is nail biter. It is nail biter. One who bites their nails. Yes. An old crack me phrase. Got right to the point. Hit the nail on the head. Gosh darn it. How does he do that? I don't know. Makes me nervous, though. Yes. He's... How? He's violent. Five on each hand. Nails, fingernails. L-O-B. Nails, nails, nails. Nail. Let.
No, this is funny. Heavy metal band. Tooth and nail. Abbreviated N-I-N. Nine inch nails. Oh, gosh darn it. They're a heavy metal band. Dang it. Dang it. Tooth and nail. I am focused. I am focused. I am focused. I am focused. Roofer's tool. Nail gun. Nail gun. Every time. He's a half a second ahead. Here we go. That's the point, Mike. Here we go. I'll tell you when. You're like mountain time. Paint. Nail polish. Oh, good. Good job. Paint. Paint. I was waiting for you guys to pay attention. Paint. Fashion. Or fasten. Nail it down. Two by fours at the corner. Nail it at the cross. Nail the ends. Nail it in. Fasten two by fours at the corner. Nail together. Nail it. Nail. Nail it good. Nail it on. Nail it, baby. Nail that thing. Nail me. Nail together. Nail together. What is it? Toenail. It's called toenailing. It's when you have to hit it from the side. I hate this word. Can we have another? Nope. We're going to do a couple more and then we'll have another one. Hush. Teachers. Attention getter.
Fingernails down a chalkboard. What the heck? Fingernails down a chalkboard. It's fingernails down a chalkboard. I was going to say nails pet. Mikey said it for three minutes. Fingernails down a chalkboard. And he's doing a claw. He's got a full-on claw going. Rahino! Rahino! Rahino. All right. Metal. Emery board. Fingernail file! Nail file. L-O-B. Come on! You said finger file. I said nail file. You said finger file. That's horse crap. Finger file. Finger file. Finger file. I said nail file. Can we have another word? Here's a word. It's called ground. G-R-O-U-N-D. Ground. B-S. B-S. The Java particle that remains... Coffee ground! What's Java? Java. Java. Java! That's coffee. Java the hut. Look at it in the mirror. Ah!
How dare you? Yikes. What's the word? It's ground. Okay, I was thinking Java. Ground, ground, ground, ground. All right. Initiate a construction project. Break ground! I couldn't hear that. Woods, it's not fair. Go to your room for a week. Grounded! Oh, that's a tie. It's a three-way tie, I think. What's the score, LLB? Mikey 2, Lauren 5, Woods 6. So, I'm going to do a couple of three-pointers. Awesome. I will catch up. Use your car until it falls apart. Drive it to the ground. I said it. Run it into the ground. Run it into the ground is what I said. What is it? It's drive it into the ground. Three-pointers. That was the most violent thrust that I've ever seen Woods thrust. I almost just want him to win so he'll stop. So he'll stop raping the air? Yes. Here's a five-pointer then. Oh, you son of a... Territory.
Were you hung out in your youth? Hold your ground. Stomping ground. Stomping grounds, yeah. Stomping grounds. Okay, I get it, right? Stomping grounds. I said it eight seconds after. But can I have it? So that's a five-pointer, right? So now what's the score? It is Mikey two, Lauren ten, Woods nine. Okay. This is a two-pointer. This is our final question. Remain firm on the decision. Hold your son of a bitch. She got it. That's a five-pointer. Yeah, she is victory dancing. Classy, classy. Modest, modest. That's her bit with me. Humble. Humble, very humble. Let me tell you, I love it when she does that. Who doesn't? I love it when she does it. Let me explain Ella B's victory dance to you. She puts both hands up. She points with both hands, and she swivels her hips back and forth. It's hot in here. I love buzzwords. Oh, man. I hate it. I hate loving. So good. I feel like I just ran a mile. I'm sweating. Oops, sorry about that. It's okay. M1 Daniel from Oceanside.
Guess what? Hey, thank you. Yeah, she got you. She got you. Booyah! You too. Enjoy. We watched that movie. Why are you able to do that so good? I don't know. What is it? What is it? It's quick. Concentration. Excuse me, but I won. I know you did. It's both of you two. Credit where credit's due, I guess. Both of you two. How you're able to take it from the brain to the mouth, I don't know. I can't do that. Yep. Ugh. All right. Tell me about the 100-pound scrotum guy. All right. The 100-pound scrotum guy. We reported on this about a month ago. Yes. A Las Vegas man is considering an option for surgery for his 100-pound scrotum. It's a true story. Yeah, he was diagnosed over three years ago with scrotum elephantitis. Yeah, we saw about it in the breakfast club. Yeah. Was this into an operation for fear of death or castration?
It would cost a million dollars to have the operation. Some donations have been made. On top of that, several documentaries have been promised. The 47-year-old man is still resistant. Now it says Medicaid will cover the whole bill. Let me ask a question. Is there any human being alive? And I mean any. By any, I mean encompassing all. Of all time. Of all time. Is there any human being that would not want to see that documentary? Me. Are you kidding me? No desire. Stuff like that makes me ill. Really? Ill, ill. Oh, no. I want to know where he puts it. Oh, listen. I don't want to see it. A guy with a hundred pound scrotum. He has a thing. He carries a milk crate. Yeah, milk crate. Just set it on. A guy with a hundred pound scrotum that documents the scrotum and then the removal of? Uh-uh. That's the greatest documentary ever. I want to know. I'm fascinated. I'm interested. I need to know. I just watch it. Of course. This guy needs to sack up. I know it's not his bag. He's been sitting on that one all morning. When this guy teabags you, you're in big trouble. Ball sack. Nuts. Grapes. Testicles. Boys. Boys. Get it? Because boys are big. Tasty in your face. Giant boys. Big balls. Somebody tear up some gum? Are those blue?
I'm about to get this gum from my pants. Balls. My shirt. My car. Acorns. Sack. Like a squirrel with nothing in his mouth. This guy truly can make a wallet, and you rub it, and it turns into a trunk. It's amazing delivery. Yeah, that was in there. That was... Don Colleon. I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your daughter's wedding. Right, okay. Got it. On the day of your daughter's wedding. Okay, all right. Got it. Okay, yeah. And I hope that their first child be a masculine child. Wonderful. Thank you for... I pledge... Go ahead. ...for stopping by. Uh-oh. For your daughter's bridal purse. Thank you. That's very nice. Thank you. Well said. It's very... The way you put it was just eloquent. A ribbon, a wallet with a...
Treadmill. Well said. I think it was very clear. You make a wallet from a nut sack. And rub it together. Put it together and make a wish. When you rub it. When you rub it. Jay, tell us about the sailors and the drugs. Oh, Jay is giving me a frantic. I've been telling you for two minutes. He is giving me a frantic break signal. Fine. Amazing. So, as you know, Whoopi Goldberg. is a very well-known lib. She's as liberal as it gets. Yes. Let me ask you a question. Do you think that Whoopi Goldberg would support something like Occupy? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Big time. Oh, yes. No question. Me too. Except if. Except if. And wait till you hear the except if. My eyes read it, and I was by myself in my office this morning, and...
I laughed. I laughed out loud. I laughed out loud. Laugh out loud. I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal. More from the Mikey Show coming up. And respectful. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. This is the Mikey Show. You're welcome. On FM 94.9. This holiday season, show that special someone how much you really care about powerful, efficient, turbocharged engines. Just like the one found in the C250 sports sedan, along with aggressive new body styling and a completely redesigned interior, the new C-Class commands the road with over 2,000 new refinements. Come into the Mercedes-Benz winter event now and get the Mercedes-Benz you've dreamed of for a price you never dreamed possible. Lease the 2012 C250 sports sedan, part of the Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest in the luxury car category, for only $349 a month for 30 months with $4,009 due at signing. But hurry, offers end soon.
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Well, the 5 northbound Loma Santa Fe Drive, there's an accident on the right shoulder. In Chula Vista, the 805 southbound after H Street, a disabled car. Encinitas Boulevard, the ramp to the 5, there was a car fire there. They've got the fire out, but that car's still sitting on that right shoulder. This report brought to you by Express Tire. Save big on all tires on sale at Express Tire. Go to www.expresstire.com for the location near you. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Do I know you? Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Welcome. Dude. I told Rebecca I loved her for the first time through text message. Woods. Woods. Are you kidding? Woods. It was very heady. I don't like that. I like gritty drama. Lauren. Just give me your opinion and I'll be on my way. And Jay. Keep it together. Why you. On FM 94.9. Yesterday. Yeah. I put together a scooter. What? Whoa.
How long did she have the gun to your head? Yeah. Let me tell you, Woodsy, I'm telling you, it was one of those scooters that's like a theme scooter, so it's like Cars, the movie Cars. Right. It's a Cars scooter. And I opened the box, and I looked inside at all these parts, and there was a couple of plastic bags, and inside of one of the plastic bags was, you know, directions. And I looked at it, and I went. yeah, Jay's doing this. There was no doubt in my mind. I was like, yeah, Jay's doing this. And I was going to bring the box in here today. And I go, you know what? Screw it. Man up. And I took the little, I took out the thing and I looked at it and I go, S.O.B. I think I can do this. I'm going to get you. And I got it. Yeah. Now, I screwed up one of the wheels, but I fixed it this morning. There was a part underneath the couch, and I found it, and I got the scooter all fixed. That's the best feeling ever, isn't it? It was not as hard as I thought it was. So this is a lesson to us dads. If it looks like it's hard, it's not. It's not as hard as it looks, and maybe now I will try stuff because that ain't me. That's how you learn. That's not me, but anyway. L.O.B.
Yes. You got a three? Yes. I forgot. But my computer crashed. Whoopee. Whoopee. No, don't worry. Oh, boy. I got it. Are we doing news and sports? Yeah. Okay. Newsboy, what do we got? Yes, sir. We have 28 more sailors were accused of in the designer drug probe. Basically, they were on the aircraft carrier Ronald Reagan, and they were implicated in this investigation. The drug is Spice, which I thought was legal. What is that? What is Spice? It's a so-called fake marijuana. He's probably been smoking it for years. No, no, I heard about it recently. I thought I was good to go. I've been distributing it. I guess 64 total sailors have been implicated, and the Navy has a zero... policy. But like I said, I thought this was legal, but I guess some of it, it's made from a synthetic canniboloid compound. You know all about that, Jay. You're all about canniboloids. Some are so potent that they have been declared illegal by the Drug Enforcement Administration, but these guys just get booted. They're just done. Yeah. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Woods is all the way in on poking that tiger, because yesterday that tiger poked Woods real good.
Real good. Hey, Mike, he comes in. Can I pull the curtain back? Yeah, pull it back. Pull it right back. Comes in, he goes, and don't you two argue. I'm not going to argue. Otherwise, I will not. No, no, pull it back. All right. Don't argue, though. I won't argue. I love the both of you, and I don't want to start trouble. We love each other. Yeah, we love each other. So Jay comes in, he goes, Mike, listen, let's just put it out there. Woods makes a bunch of noise, and it goes like this. Oh, here it is, identical. Do it. He goes, Mike. It is gross. He goes, Mike, doesn't that gross you out? Am I the only one that's noticed? It grosses me out when Woods puts a dip in. No, it's when I spit it out. Oh, it's when you spit it out. Yeah. I know you do that until you go. Like up on the mic. Then you spit on the body. I told you guys. I will not let you argue about this or I'll feel bad. Because to me it was hysterical. Yeah.
Funny, we've been on the air two years, and Mike's never heard it. He sits right across from me. Now. Jerk what? Woods goes. Woods goes. Smile, you tattletale dude. Tattletale. Tattletale. I'm just thinking if it makes the show better. And I go, and I go, and I said, well, it doesn't bother me. And I don't really know. And I kind of, I've always liked that Woods chews on the air because it's so authentic. And I don't mean, I in no way endorse. The fact that he chews. But what I do think about it is that the kid's a kid, man. He is an authentic guy. He is a one of a kind. He's the funniest scene in every movie. And part of what makes him that is the chewing and the dipping of the tobacco. Now, here's the other thing. It's so. Not radio, which I also love about it. I love that. I love that it's like, here's what an old school radio person would say. You can't do that on the radio because this is professional broadcasting. And I hate that stuff. I always want to be, I always want to go against what, you know, you're supposed to do. So Jay goes, man, this sounds so gross, man. Right. And he goes, you tattletale. And then I go.
Woods, that's not tattling. I said, I'm right in front of you. He's saying it in front of you. And L.O.B. goes, yeah. She goes, you can't tattle if the person's sitting there, right? Right. It's a call out. You absolutely can tattle. I'm calling you out. L.O.B. said, it's a call out. Do you guys not remember when your freaking little brother, we all have brothers and sisters in here, would run in there in front of your mom and go. He broke the lamp. And you're like, dude. That's how it would be like this. Your brother runs in the room and goes, you know what I hate? I hate when you leave your clothes on the floor. Right. And then your dad is like, I don't care. You know, like I've seen him leave his clothes on the floor. It doesn't bother me. Now, if it bothers me, I would know because you guys know me. If something bugs me, I know it and I say it. Yeah. And Jay goes. It bugs me, man. It sounds disgusting. It's one of those things that once you hear it, you can't unhear it. No, because I've heard, I mean, it doesn't, I don't, now it's like, I'm like, ah, get it out of my head. And Woods. See, and I, you know, it's my way not to, it's just my way. Don't, please don't, please don't take it. I'm not, I don't want to argue. But it's not my way, it's not my way to call people out for annoying habits. In front of them. It's just not my way. It's just not my way. I just, I'm kind of of the opinion of live and let live.
To each their own. Now, what is your... Not getting involved. No, no, no. I want to ask you this. Pretend that there is a barrier between you, Woods, and Jay. Okay. All right? So they can't hurt you, they can't attack you, and they will not put daggers in your eyes. Uh-huh. It's just you and me. Okay. All right? Now, you are going to mind meld with me, all right? Yes. And in order to get you to feel more relaxed, because I don't want you... I know how you can be. You might be a little... nervous about how this is going to go. I'm going to give you some relaxing music. Okay. It's just me and you. Okay. Why is Wood staring at me? Because you can't stare. I'm not reading this sports story. Putting daggers in her. I'm reading this story. What is your thoughts on the call-out? I can't get away with it because I'm a female. So if I do it, I'm a bitch. I like the call-out. The call-out is fine with me. But L.O.B. does it on the air. L.O.B. will call you out. There's no question. Absolutely. But I like it. You guys don't like it. No, I hate to call out. I think it's kind. I'm OK with a call out. Even she calls me out. Oh, yeah. I only feel safe. Excuse me. I do it on the air. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Which I like that, too. That I like. I will say. Well, and it's not like she doesn't have cojones off the air because L.O.B. undeniably.
is the biggest badass as a chick that I've ever met. And I'm talking the chasm that exists between L.O.B. and the next chick that could even qualify is the Grand Canyon. I've got brass balls. She has what they call brass balls. And I mean real brass balls. It takes brass balls. And she's got them. Yesterday when that was going on, it tickled me. It tickled me because we're grown up little kids. We're all grown up little kids. Makes me sick. Hey, so gross, Wood. God. And Woods was looking at him like, you know what? Just leave me alone. God. You redneck little.
It's hayseed. You're the hayseed. You are. And that is the other thing. The two of them arguing over who's a bigger hick is the greatest thing. Really? Is that even an argument? It's the best. All right, here we go. Told you I had this for you. Gosh darn it, dude. This is Whoopi Goldberg. And again, Whoopi Goldberg. In on Occupy. People going out there doing their thing. Ab. Absolutely. It's got to be. A hundred. Let's take a listen to what she said. You know, the Occupy Wall Street folks have sort of been making rumblings about disrupting the Thanksgiving Day Parade, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. And I just want to put out to them that, you know, these parades are done for free. They're for everybody. It doesn't matter how much. So let me get this straight, Whoopi. You're totally down with Occupy. But if they disrupt my parade. You better not. You better not disrupt my... I mean, hey, listen. Disrupt commerce, business, whatever. Yeah, subways, subridges. Whatever. As long as it doesn't in any way inconvenience me. If I don't see that big-ass turkey floating down Fifth Avenue, I'm going to freak out. If on Thursday morning there is no inflatable Snoopy, I'm going to freak out. I will...
you have doesn't matter how much money you don't have. These are for the children. The children really dig the... So are subways. Are they? Yes! Aren't they? Kids are on subways? There's no... There's people going to work? Not my children. Yeah, they're disrupting business. They're disrupting business. Going to work. Balloons, they like a parade. To make this a focus seems very, very foolish because those of us who actually think you have something to say, I don't ride the subway, darling. I take a limousine to work. I thought you meant subway the restaurant. No. Which is not for children. Right. It's adults only. The subways will realize that you don't have jack to say if you come around messing around. You better not be messing around. Thanksgiving Marie. That's right. Listen.
I could care. That's the one thing. I don't care. Because I hate the parade. Do you watch the Macy's? I don't watch it, but you're affecting the wrong people. If you mess up that parade, you're messing it up for the wrong people is what she's saying. The big banks aren't going to be affected. It's the people that watch it. The kids. I understand. But I just ask you as you're driving in your car, you can tell me. You can call me and tell me. Do you watch that thing? Can't wait that thing. Yeah, well, because here's the deal. I'm always thinking to myself, you know who should be watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade? The people that live on 7th Avenue in New York City that go to it. Other than that, why are they televising a parade? Because the only thing more boring than a parade...
is a televised parade. Or a marathon. Or watching a marathon on TV. Those are the only two. We put it on the TV where we're cooking and goofing around and it's going in the background. There's people coming by and singing and dancing. It makes me want to be there. It makes me want to go there next year. How do you like it if you're the news guy and you go to your inbox and you pull out your paper and you're like, what do I got? What do I got? Oh, great. You love it. I got parade detail. I'm on parade detail. You love it. Hey, we're standing out here. It's one degree. And hey, Janet, look at that. It's really cool, isn't it? That's right, Bob. Yeah, this is great. We're here live at the Macy's parade. Freezing. This sucks. Is Mikey the big inflatable turkey? I don't know what's happening. That's the air that's inflating those big... You keep hearing the... Do you? Because they're already inflated. Yeah, but they keep doing it. They have to keep them because they'll juice them. Yeah, that's what makes them move. You guys know a lot about this parade. You guys are out of your mind. They are full of helium. You don't keep inflated. They're not a hot air balloon. I can make you sick. Get yourself fixed, right? Dear freaking diary. Mike was wrong again.
Some bitch doesn't even know what they put inside of a float. He thought... Sorry, I just puked in my diary. He thought that they worked like a hot air balloon. He didn't know that's helium. Oh, God, I told Kim about it. She died laughing. I told her. He didn't know that's helium. Put helium in it. Mike, it ain't... It ain't air. It's helium. They don't put hot air in them things. How's this guy? He's my boss? How's he operate? How's that add up? Helium. What a dummy. Dummy. Dear Diary, I am going to ride in the Ultra Dog inflatable at the New York Thanksgiving Day Parade. I cannot wait. Scooby-Doo is a hot air balloon. I love myself. How dare you? How dare you, sir? 570-1949. If you missed this the other day, we wanted to make sure that we replayed it because it was one of our favorite moments. It's our very own LOB. LOB had the opportunity to go out and interview some people. Now, while she was out interviewing people,
she had a couple of drinks. She was at a wedding. And while at this wedding, she had a couple of drinks. Now, what she forgot, or maybe you didn't, I don't know. Maybe you forgot, maybe you didn't. But she did have to interview people that day. Yes, I did forget. And she had a couple of, threw a couple back. Uh-huh. And you started asking people some questions. Now, here's what it sounded like. Named three judges from American Idol. Now, it has become one of our favorite things in the world. What federal agency maintains the U.S. border at the Canadian border? Oh, wow. Now, Jay, where is the clip? Where is my... Page seven. Page seven. So then, in a moment that we could have lost very easily, had LOB not heard this little gem, we got... L-O-B, singing Wilson Phillips. Same wedding. Same wedding. Right before the interview. Let's interview some people. That is her boyfriend, Matt Commerce, her BFMC. Trying to keep me on the straight and narrow. Trying to keep me on the straight and narrow because, as I pointed out, this is not his first.
No. This isn't the first time his old lady has broken into song. After having a couple of drinks. Oh, my God. Let's interview them. It's so great. It's better and better every time you hear it. It's like wine. Yeah, it is. Here's the beauty of it, too. Pushing him out of the way. Oh, yeah. He's pushing him. Leave me alone. He's trying to reel me in so I can go do my job. I love the reel in. Because for the most part, she's good to go. Right. But there are times where he notices, oh.
I got it. Let me just... She's getting a little... A little sideways. A little sideways here. The strap is starting to fall over. Yep. Let's get her in. There we go. Let me pull her back in. She's bobbing and weaving just a little. Yeah, maybe I pull her back in. Just open your heart and your mind. Oh, my. Oh, we got a live one here. Yeah. Oh, my arms are sore. Uh-oh. Let's interview some people. Come on. Come on, babe. Come on. Take them. Just talk to them. He's so over it. He doesn't want to hear another note. He is done. He is done. It's so good. Put a fork in Matt. He's done.
freaking song. Why do I love it? I love it so much. And I can listen to it over and over. L.O.B. Speaking of, I gotta do L.O.B. We gotta talk about your recap when we come back. This story is tremendous. It's embarrassing. Gotta see if you can relate. We'll do it. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. If you quit, it's going to follow you for the rest of your life. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Hey, Rip Van Biden. Shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. And? Call 570-1949. What a wonderful day it is for him. What a wonderful day it is for all of us. This is the Mikey Show. The little mushroom people of Nova Scotia screaming with horror. On FM 94.9. One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Presented by Coors Light. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the campus of USD. Featuring My Morning Jacket. My Morning Jacket. The featuring Tudor Cinema Club. Pat and Kim. Delta Spirit.
And the blackout party. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus, or FM949SD.com. The FM949 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optics. Good day, drivers. As we speak, a world-renowned group of performance specialists are preparing to launch an event of epic proportions. Your mission, if you should choose to accept it, is to take full advantage of the situation. Codename the BMW Mission to Drive sales event. Once there, test drive any new BMW from the legendary lineup, including the all-new 6 Series, featured in the new movie Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol, in theaters this December. For a short period of time, you'll have access to an up to $2,500 credit toward a new 2012 BMW. Gather all intel about the cutting-edge, fuel-efficient vehicles that BMW engineers. Then drop into the BMW Mission to Drive sales event at your local BMW center today. Use of a zip line is optional. But move on this immediately, as the $2,500 credit will soon self-destruct. Hurry into the BMW Mission to Drive sales event today for an up to $2,500 credit towards a new 2012 BMW. Visit stcountybmw.com slash finance for details. It is the Friday after Thanksgiving. You're waiting for the AT&T store to open. A huge phone sale awaits you.
Chewing the last bite of pumpkin pie, you rush to the AT&T store clutching a list. Soon you'll have a great deal on a gift for every name on that list. A full keyboard phone for your texting-obsessed teen. A phone that shoots HD video for your brother, the wannabe filmmaker. Maybe even a little something for yourself. Of course, the AT&T's after Thanksgiving sale isn't just on Friday. It lasts all weekend. You could have slept late and still gotten the same great bargains. But where's the fun in that? Get the perfect deals on the perfect holiday gifts on Black Friday and all weekend at the after Thanksgiving sale at AT&T. Rethink possible. Come in and save on the perfect gift from AT&T, like the Samsung Galaxy S2 4G smartphone. For free when you purchase the Samsung Galaxy Tab 8.9 for $479.99. Limited 4G LTE availability in select markets. Samsung Galaxy Tab 8.9 requires a two-year agreement with minimum $35 monthly data plan. Samsung Galaxy S2 is free with a two-year voice agreement and minimum $15 monthly data plan. Other charges and restrictions apply. Visit att.com or store for details. Sunglass and Optical Warehouse has been in business. For a long time. In fact, they're San Diego's number one source for sunglasses. They have been for over 20 years. And that is the sign of a good business. They got three locations in San Diego. Sports Arena, Kearney Mesa, La Jolla Village. They're open 363 days a year. And they were San Diego Magazine's, San Diego Magazine was quoted as saying, they're the only place that you should go. If you want sunglasses, you want them, they got them.
Go get them. What's two plus two plus two? Four. Because at Denny's, for just $4, you get two fluffy buttermilk pancakes, two eggs cooked to order, and two pieces of sizzling bacon or sausage. Yeah, we're open to new math. Start your day with a $4 everyday value slam from our 2468 value menu. Only at Denny's. America's Diner is always open. Prices and participation may vary. We'll be right back.
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This is quality that will be enjoyed for years to come. Boot World wants to help you get the sheepskin footwear you want, so don't wait. Come in now to Boot World while the selection of boots and slippers for men, women, and children are at their best. You'll find the sheepskin you want at San Diego's Home of Sheepskin. Boot World on Convoy in Kearney Mesa, Plaza Comino Real in Carlsbad, San Marcos, El Cajon, Chula Vista, Midway Drive, and bootworld.com. Mama Dietz here, chairman of Dietz & Watson. It's the holidays. Things can get stressful, especially when you're a host. Well, guess what? You can relax. That's right. Relax. It's the holidays. Because Dietz & Watson has been preparing your holiday party since 1939. Four generations, 72 years, working on your 2011 holiday party. Our party trays and holiday hams don't have artificial flavor. They don't have additives. Those things weren't around in 1939. And at Dietz & Watson, they still aren't. So relax. Unless your holiday ham or party tray isn't from Dietz & Watson. In that case, start freaking out, hon. Insist on Dietz & Watson at your favorite market and deli. And happy hosting days to you and yours.
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Good morning to you. This is Bird Surfshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Tuesday morning. This is being brought to you by Plus One Surfport, built by the boys, for the boys, right here in San Diego. So check it out at Bird Surfshed or get hold of Plus One Boys, Joe or Joe. Surfwise, at the moment, we're looking at some fun ways out there, a bit smaller than yesterday. That West North Wester picked up real quick yesterday, passed its peak last night, on the decline already today. What a beautiful morning. We'll greet you. This morning, further slowing things down. Don't expect anything at the reef breaks now for a couple, two or three hours until that tide starts to drain out. Beach breaks are the better call. A little pick and choose corners up and down mixed with some closeouts too. Looking at waves running in that need of waves, chest high zone on average, maybe a few pluses. And again, size and shape will vary quickly throughout the day as those tides run their course from mega high to drained out low. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for killer local made surfboards, check out Plus One Surfboards at Bird Surf Shed or get hold of the boys. The Authentic Surf Report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. When you're fat, you're always feeling a cold breeze. Woods. The best movie ever made. Footloose. Lauren. I'm all hot and bothered.
I am. And Jake. Look, I like to climb and I like to eat edamame, okay? On FM 94.9. Tell your children not to hear my words. What they mean, what they say, mother. Suiting voice. He comes to your door, wants to take your daughter out for a date. I never listened to the words of this. I know you did. It's creepy. I always just concentrated on just how smooth and selkie the vocals were. Comes to your wife, Rebecca, and says, hey, I'm going to take your daughter out tonight. I'm going to show her power. All right. Just have her home by midnight. Lovely young man. Yes. Isn't he lovely? Yeah, he should have been grounded for writing this song. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's like, yeah, I wrote that when I was 11. Yeah. Sixth grade. Word of the day is eagle when I say that between now and 10 and your caller 9.
Four packet tickets to SeaWorld and Rubio's. It's like a whole day. Let's see. We got so much cool stuff. They're going to announce the winner of the R-Factor soon. It will happen before 10 o'clock. It's going to be on Channel 5, Fox 5. They've been doing something called the R-Factor, which stands for the Radio Factor. It started out with a whole bunch of people, and they did it like brackets. They moved down. And now it's the finals between me and Boston Rob. Ironically enough. Because that's the show that I used to be on. And then thought that I was coming over. And then they said no. And then we got scared, my wife and I. And then I found you guys. And I was blessed. And then came here. So I'm happy about it. That wasn't the gist of it. Why do you hate it? It wasn't the gist of it.
The gist of it was that I was... It was a hard time. All's well that ends well. That's right. That's right. It was the imitation of a well. Yes. L.O.B. and I were communicating. Yes, we were. So, L.O.B., tell everybody about what happened in the bathroom. I was in the bathroom in a public restaurant. Public restaurant as opposed to a private restaurant. Private restaurant. A public restroom in a restaurant. And there's like, you know, a couple different stalls. Next to me, there's a lady with two of her kids in there. Yeah. And then on the other side of them is another woman just doing her business. And you hear... Yes. Maybe more. Yes. Maybe a little more. Even more. Pull it up! Splash that! Yeah. Stay tonight!
Yes, and the little girl goes, eww. Oh, God. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, God. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Can you hear her mom being like, and then you're, why? But that was gross. I get stinky. Mommy, no. Having to teach in front. It's so bad. Oh, my God. It's so bad. I had to stay in the stall for like two minutes. Oh, easily. Because I was laughing so hard in this situation. I was like, I can either sprint out and hope that nobody else comes out and washes their hands at the same time, or I can wait it out. You wait. I waited. You wait. You hunker down like it's World War II. Of course, okay? And you just wait. I waited. Until you get your orders to move. Absolutely. You know, when they're knocking and they're like, is anybody in here? We're closing up. I mean, I'm still in here. And I'm going to be here for a while. For a while. I like the way L.O.B. said it was some other lady. Because you were in a stall. Yeah, I would definitely put it in my recap and call attention to it if it were me, Jay. You mean Jay is saying it was probably you. Yeah. You dealt it.
Obviously. Yeah, he who smelt it dealt it. Clearly. Which is why I found the humor in it instead of the shame. Right. Change the story to protect the innocent. Yes. I would probably just keep that story to myself. I will get you one way or the other. I'll find it. Jay has been seen in the women's room. That's true. He'll use it. He's the dean of clown college. Make sure things okay. Well, Jake has this habit lately. of pointing when he's talking. Oh, no. So he was talking to us the other day. No, no, no. It wasn't us. We were all together, but we were at a park. And he met somebody for the first time that was out there. And he started going, I'm Jake. I'm five. And I don't know you. He's pointing. And the whole time, he's like wagging his finger at them. I laughed, but I said, hey, bub.
You can't point at people when you talk to them. The older you get, the less you can point at people. Oh, man. White people hate it when you point at people. Oh, man. Yeah, they do, man. White people hate being pointed at. That is a big white person player. Don't you point at me. Get that finger out of your face. Out of my face. And your face. Listen, I'll play into the stereotype. I'll be honest with you. I'm 100% Mexican. My relatives can care less. Really? It's not a big player to them. White person thing. Get your finger out of my face. Don't point at me. Dude, if you're in a bar and some guy's getting, you know, starting static and he sticks that finger in your face. It's over. It's over. That's over. That's fighting. You're fighting. You can't put a finger up. Get your finger up here. So that's one of the things. But the other deal is, is that, and I didn't realize this. I now realize it. When your kids are little, you have to do on the job training. Oh, yeah. You can't go. oh, I'll wait and teach him this lesson later. It has to be taught at that moment. Here's what I used to think and didn't like. I hated when a parent would scold their kid in front of me because I'd be like, no, no, no, it's okay, it's okay, I don't mind, it's okay. And they would be like, no, no, no. Johnny, don't do that. Don't ever say that. I felt terrible. Well, they have to.
Because they're not going to, like, later on. Right. They got to, like, do it in the middle of it happening. Otherwise, you kind of lose the point of it. It doesn't make any sense. They don't know what they're being reprimanded for. And then you saying it's okay, too. Right. Oh, I know. I know. It's just a reaction to do that because you're like, me and this kid, we had an alliance. Yes. As adults, we all have to support each other. Tell me this one. What would you do in this case? The other day, Rebecca said something to Jake as a joke. And he said, you're lying. And technically she was, but she was kidding. Right. And she goes, no, Bob, I'm not lying. And he goes, lying's when you don't tell the truth. And we were like, we just kind of looked at each other because we weren't, I mean, she wasn't. But kidding is when you say like silly things. Yes. Yes. Lies hurt people. Actually, she was being, she was being more sarcastic. So it wasn't a lie, but it wasn't true. You know? And it was like, oh, man. It's sarcasm, buddy. They'll pick up on it. Trust me. Because we were like, oh, wow. We don't want him to lie. But we also want to be able to tell a joke. Right. Without being Kathy Callow. Without him going, you're lying. Yeah. Shut up. Sometimes we say silly things that are lies, but we always tell people that they're silly afterwards.
See, I don't want to give him license to lie and then say. He's like, sorry, I was being silly. I was just kidding. That's why I'm not a parent yet. Oh my God. And that's instantly what I thought of. I thought, I know what he's going to do. He's going to do something and I'm going to go, did you do that? And he's going to say no. And I'm going to find out he did and he's going to go, but I. I was kidding. I was being silly, daddy. Just silly, remember? Like you and mommy? I know, but don't tell me they won't pull that, Jay. Oh, they will. When they do, you shut them down like a ton of bricks. And it's hard to shut them down because we taught them. Yeah, but it's sarcasm. It's different sarcasm and jokes or pretending. It's not going to hurt them. But if they're like, no, I didn't eat that candy. It's like, well, that's a full-on lie. You can say things, though. Can't you say, like, okay, I'm not being silly. I'm being serious. Do you remember the example off the top of your head? No, but Rebecca will. Call Rebecca. Because whatever it was confused us both bad. It got us. This one, whatever it was, it got us. Where did Jay go? He's getting your wife's information to call her. Mike, listen.
I don't have her on speed dial. What do you want? Yeah, well, I do. Well, okay. Ask Wood for that. Truth be known, I have her on speed dial. Oh, yeah. But I got to make it seem to you like I don't. Oh, what's her number again? What would Rebecca's phone number be? We have a system. We have a system. I call and let it ring once, and then she calls me right back. It sounds like you've done that before. Yeah. I mean. Or a blank text with just a period, and she knows. That's my. That's my thing. That's my bit. That's what I do. That's how I do it. With Marissa. Well, I figured just call after six. I'm good. I like to be in bed. How you doing, darling? Tubby's sleeping, right? You should knock on the door then. You walk around like other places. You creep. Try, try, try. Hi, Jake. Daddy Two's here. I'm here. How are you, son? Hi, son. Invisible Man's here again. Invisible Man. Y'all remember? Cover years. Yeah, remember? I'm Invisible Man. Y'all don't see me, remember? I'm invisible. Here's how you lie to daddy. Oh, wow. I gotta see what this was. I gotta remember what this was. And she'll remember. It put us in a...
What the hell do we do? 5701949 is the number. Trying to explain the difference between kidding and lying. And we got an email I want to do for you, too. You know, Francis Ford Coppola just made a lot of people upset. And I'm going to tell you why. He kind of put down one of his own movies that we all love. A lot. Okay, we got her. Honey. Yeah. What did Jake say the other day that we said, well, no, mommy's not lying. I was telling him that his middle name was like silly stuff. That's right. Your name, your, I said, your name is Jacob. Clownfish Esparza. That's right. And he's like, no, it's not. It's Jacob Daniel. And I said, no, it's not. It's Jacob. And then she said something else funny. Yeah, I was, yeah, like. It's clown school. It's clownfish. It's this. It's that. It's everything. And then finally he goes, you're lying. Yeah. And then it's. Now. Now. Now. She isn't telling the truth. His middle name is not clownfish. She's not telling the truth. So.
How do you approach that? You go, I'm kidding. Wait, wait, wait. Listen to this. Who's playing the drums? Ryan. Let me hear. Let me hear. Sounds like John Bonham. Yeah, I can't hear too well. Is that John Bonham over there? That's her bit. Oh, just harmonica. Sounds like Bo Diddley. Yeah. Wow. This is my two-year-old. Let's hear you. Can you play? This is my two-year-old. That's what your wife deals with every day. Oh, yeah. See, it doesn't bother me. It does bother her. You see where she put that drum set? Oh, yeah. As far away from the kitchen as it could go. Not only that, in a place that they will never want to play the drums. Wait, or is it back by the door? Yeah, babe, how come you didn't put that drum set on the roof? I was going to put it out back. Yeah, it never gets any better. I was just in the garage. It drives me nuts. Oh, my God. It doesn't bother me. It makes me insane. Dude, I hate excess noise. I grew up like Steve, my brother Steve, when he first was learning how to drum. Listen. Listen. Let's listen. Lucy's moved on past the cymbal. Let me hear. Let me hear. Ry-Ry, can you play? Let's hear you. All day. All day. All day. That's probably why there's not that many good drummers out there.
It didn't get started early. I bet that's true. I bet that's true. But anyway, all right, honey, thank you. I love you. I love you. Oh, gosh. Every time we hang up with my wife, Woods and Jay both say, I love you. And then Jay goes. And he makes eye contact with me, which is really. Yeah, it's creepy. I look away. You look away. I always look away. Jay looks right into my. dead lights right into my soul. And he goes... Oh, gosh. Gross. And then he lowers his head a little bit so that he's looking at me through the top of his eyes. They just want a response out of you. You know that. Get it. I can't help it. It bothers me. I don't like it when they do it. It's disgusting. It's my wife they're talking. If you ignored it, they'd probably stop. I can't ignore it. It's impossible to ignore. How do you ignore that? It's my wife they're talking. How do you do that? You can't do that.
You have to be an human. Know who you're dealing with. I have no feelings to be a human. Bunch of creeps. I have feelings. With wives themselves. I have a pulse. You should start doing it to their wives. Fine. I have to multitask. Do you? Do you? You! It's called Keeping Up with the Show. The other show? Yeah, I got to keep up with them. No. I'm trying to get traffic over here. She missed a traffic report. Then why are you smiling and giggling? Because I'm laughing at you. You're funny. Are you? Facebook. Is it? Traffic transmitter is what I'm on. Right. We'll look over there. And Jay is looking away at his monitor. Smiling. He's got a smile. Yeah. And then another smile will go away. And then he'll go. I'm laughing at you. And then every once in a while he'll go. On the microphone. Totally. Totally. I agree. I agree, Mike.
Yep. Wait, wait. What are people on Facebook saying? Okay, no, I don't agree. I don't agree. I hate it. I hate it. No, I mean I love it. If our fans like it, then I like it. If they hate it, then I hate it. I'm going to wait until we get texts in to see what my opinion is. And that's something I have texts that I have to go through. And then, Mac, when we go into commercial, I'm going to tell you what I really think. That's right. But I ain't going to let my flock hear it. Off the air. That's why my flock loves me, Mac. Not true. My flock. I always disagree with you guys. My flock loves me. Well, not the flock. No, I love the flock. Yeah, I will fly with the flock. Yeah. Flock's against Occupy. I'm against Occupy. Flock's with Occupy. I'm with Occupy. What's flock? You. Let me tell you something, all right? The flock is what leads me, all right? That's right. Knock, knock. Go ahead. Who's there? Knock, knock. Knock, knock who? Harrison Ford's wife. Harrison Ford's wife who? Calista Flockhart. Knock, knock. This band sang, I ran. Flock of seagulls. I don't get it. I didn't get to say, this band sang, I ran who. It don't matter. But I got it. But it don't matter. That's what you don't get. Knock, knock.
Who's there? Jesus' flock. Oh, gosh. I'm not going to say his name in vain. Well, Mikey loves Jesus' flock. Wait a minute. But Jay... That's my joke. Get in there. 570-1949. I'm going to play for you what Francis Ford Coppola did and said that freaked people out. Yeah, it bothered me a little bit. A little bit. Mikey, do you guys think it's okay to marry a guy that you are best friends with but not in love with? I never graduated high school and really want a family and a comfortable life. Is it so wrong to just want to be taken care of? M1 Anonymous. Yes, I believe it's wrong. Well, first of all, part of the answer is in the question.
I do believe that when you get married, the person that you're marrying should be your best friend. I do believe that. Look at any of us on this program. Jamie is Woods' best friend. No question. Rebecca is my best friend. Kim is your best friend. Ella B is unmarried. But Matt is your best friend. But Matt is your best friend. Yes. Okay. And that's who you marry. You marry your best friend. However. Oh, God. You're going to... I'm not talking about me. I know. I'm just saying, but he will... You're going to get married. You will end up marrying your best friend. If I want to get married. You do. You want to get married. Yeah. Not necessarily. Why do you lie, liar? I don't really see the benefit. What, 60% divorce rate? It's a good tax break. I'll tell you that. Yeah, great. Why do you lie, liar? And you have babies. No. I don't have babies without marriage. See you, Mike. I know. Bye, Mike.
Just left my body. Yep. There he goes. But the question is, should I marry a guy that I'm best friends with but not in love with? No. No. Because that's why divorce happens. But I have a question for you, my friend. Yes. My friend, Mike. Yes. Let's say that I was single and I knocked some skirt up. Don't you think I should marry her? Yes. Yes. That's not for love, though. But that's not for love. I'm marrying because we're having a kid. Yeah. You can't just. You do the right thing. Do the right thing. What if she feels like the right thing is taking care of herself because she can't take care of herself? Then what she believes is something selfish. She believes entirely in a philosophy that is self-absorbed and self-centered. But if this guy wants to marry her, even though he's probably pretty aware that she's not in love with him, then he just wants her companionship as well. Well, whatever he does is up to him. But what we're talking about is her. But she's saying, should she marry? I'm guessing maybe he wants to marry her. Or else why would she even bring it up? Chances this guy's older. A hundred. And that she's really good looking. A hundred. I bet she's gorgeous and he's 25 years older. Chances he has a personalized license plate on a Maserati. A hundred. 570-1949. Call us and tell us.
What do you think this chick should do? She's not in love with him, but it is her best friend. I would say, first and foremost, don't sign a prenup. Oh, wow. What does that mean? You mean so that she can get his money? Yeah. If she's marrying for money, she might as well take it from him if he divorces him. Oh, you are a monster. 570-1949. Or text him, 949mikey at gmail.com. Or come at 949. The countdown is on. It all happens Friday starting at 5 a.m. You'll find incredible savings throughout the entire store during Sportulet's Black Friday sale. Save on footwear, bikes, fitness, and camping here, and so much more. Plus, you'll receive a free $25 Sportulet cash card when you spend $100 or more. Get your gift shopping done early this year. Go to sportulet.com to preview our Black Friday sale circular now. What's two plus two plus two? Four.
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Well, Encinitas Boulevard, the ramp to the 5, an incident that was there earlier. They've just cleared that, so you'll probably be able to get through in a few minutes. 163 southbound before Friars Road, there's an accident. This one's blocking the number 2 and 3 lanes. Headed towards Santee, the 52 westbound at Mission Gorge, there was an accident. It's in the center divider. And a car and a big rig tied up here on the 5 northbound at Via De La Valle. This report brought to you by Firestone Complete Auto Care. All Firestone Complete Auto Care locations are open this Friday, November 25th. For all of your maintenance, repair, and tire needs, call 1-800-LOCATE-US for the location nearest you. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Yeah. And Jay. I stole from the Rolling Stones dressing room. I got this little coffin thing, and I stole it from there on FM 94.9. 97.1. 570-1949. Give us a call and tell us what you think about that email that we just read to you about the girl that says, I ain't in love with this guy, but he is my best friend. Should I marry him? 570-1949. Women ever opportunists?
Men aren't. It's different, though. Don't you think, Woods? Because they're best friends. Yeah. Makes it a little better. Yeah. All right. What's going on, news boy? I can tell you this much. If you're in San Francisco, December 10th, you're going to want to check this out. It's a world record attempt. Guinness World Records is going to be on hand. Here's some important facts about it. It's called SantaCon, and it started in the mid-90s. It's where hundreds of people dressed up like Santa Claus. Here's the interesting part. You have to be naked. Nicely. But you can and should be wearing a Santa hat, boots, boot covers, gloves, but otherwise it's full Monty. Don't worry about breaking the law. I guess public nudity is perfectly legal in San Francisco as long as you are not doing an explicit sexual nature. Like, that's the way Jade usually does it when he's naked. How can you be naked? On the streets of San Francisco. Hey. Let me tell you something. Do your sports, and then I'll tell you. I'm going to tell you about sports in a minute. But first, I want to tell you that sports is brought to us by our friends at Dave & Buster's Eat, Drink, Play Football. Monday Night Football was last night. Tom Brady threw a pair of touchdown passes to Rob Gronkowski. He almost broke his neck on one. It was insane. They won 34-3 over the Chiefs. Tyler Palco made his first career start through three interceptions.
Did throw for 236 yards. Not bad, but still got smoked by the Patriots. And then also yesterday, Justin Verlander was named the American League most valuable player, which is interesting because he's also a pitcher and also won the Cy Young. Here he is saying why he won it instead of Boston's Jacoby Elsberry. I think the word valuable implies that something good happened. I believe with the guys like Bautista and Elsberry, those guys not making a playoff. Major weighing factor as to why I won. Guy's an absolute stud. Absolute stud. He is now the MVP and Cy Young in the same year. Wow. Congratulations. That's pretty awesome. Be a nice little trophy to put on your mantle. Absolutely. Let's see. Caller number nine is right here. M1 Bruce from San Diego. What was the word of the day? It is eagle. You are correct, sir. Awesome, guys. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too. You just won yourself four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld and lunch at Rubio's Hang on the Line. We will get right to all these calls. We've got a lot of calls right now. People calling in to talk about this chick who wants to know, should I marry this guy? He's my best friend, but he's not my lover. I'm not in love with him. But he is my best friend. But before that, that just reminded me of something funny. The thing he was talking about.
The naked dudes. Naked Santas. Naked Santas. There's two types of men in the world. Men who are comfortable, for humor's sake, being nude. Okay? That's Woods. Yeah. I don't mind either. Then there are men who, for humor's sake, do mind being nude. That's me. That's our friend Mike. That's me. Now, I see pictures of guys, and it doesn't have anything to do with, like... Girth, because I've seen some itsy bitsy spiders go up the water spout. And they don't care. If it's funny, they will be naked. In my hotel room in Los Angeles this past weekend, it was a clear shower that you'd laid on the bed. You could look into the shower. There was no curtain. So my bit was to shower and press my whole entire body up against it. Smash it up against it. That is funny. Dying. I did frontal and back. That is funny. That is funny. But, like, we had this British dude that built some stuff at our house. And he came over and he was showing me some designs that he had on his computer. And he goes, you want to see something funny? And I said, yeah. He goes, you got to see my mic. It's a guy that I knew back in Manchester.
It's got a great sense of humor. And my brother was getting married in Sweden. And it's like two degrees there, even in the summertime. I mean, it's always cold. And so my mate jumped into the freezing cold water. You want to see it? And I'm like, yeah. And so he starts showing me a picture of this guy in this water, you know, no shirt on. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, because you can see snow around there. And then he continues to go through the pictures, go through the pictures, go through the pictures. The guy gets out of the water and his dangly bits are there. And to this guy, it was as if nothing had happened as he starts to scroll through these photos. And I go, oh, wow. And he goes, oh, yeah, he gets naked for everything. He'll take his clothes off. He does it any time. And I said, he gets naked in front of people. He goes, yeah, it's his thing. He'll do it at parties. He'll do it. I've got a whole thing here. You won't see. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Good. Oh, yeah. I know. He would do it at my sister's birthday party. He took his clothes off and he put it inside the aquarium. I'm like, that's not me. That's not necessarily me either. I wouldn't do it at like a party. Yeah. This guy, he's like, hey, listen, we all have all us guys have it. What's the big deal?
And he wasn't, I mean, he was all right, but he wasn't like John Holmes. After that water. He wasn't like that picture that L.O.B. texted me. No. I knew a lot of guys like that in college. Not as many now. I mean, I'll still do the, I got gum on my shorts a bit, which is always a good bit. You did it to me the other day. It's great. And I'll continue to do it to you. I do it all the time, but my wife won't let me. Let's take some calls. This woman says, should I get married to this guy? I'm best friends with him, but I'm not in love. M1 Gem from the Navy base. Are you there? Yes, good morning. Hi. I just want to say that, first of all, she mentions, she doesn't mention companionship or friendship or love. No, no, no, no. She does say best friends. Best friends, she said. I know, but what I'm saying is she wants to be taken care of. She's a gold digger who's going to wind up staying with him for a year and then leaving him for some bartender named Mario with his money. But let me ask you. Very specific. Jim, let me ask you, though. Let me ask you. Let me ask, because I would definitely see that point if she wasn't best friends with this guy. By the way, we're filling in the blank that this guy has money. But she says taken care of. I don't care if he's a cab driver. She's going to take that little thing that hangs from his mirror.
She'll take everything that he's got that they're willing to give. When she says best friend, she probably met this guy at a yacht party because she's probably hot and he's probably already bought her ta-tas. And she's going to take everything and wind up with a bartender on her way to some bellboy named Larry when she's about 40. Now, by the way, hang on a second. If you're just tuning in and you're wondering, okay, so what's this all about? Again, the email was, you guys think it's okay to marry a guy? that you're best friends with but not in love with? I never graduated high school and really want a family and a comfortable life. Is it so wrong to just want to be taken care of? Family gets me. Yeah, dude. Family gets me. It takes away some of the gold digger-ish. It does take away a little bit. Does it take any of the gold digger away for you, Jim? No. She says family, but what that's going to wind up being is she'll be with him for a year. She just sounds like one of those hot PB chicks. That's like 23. But she wants a family. Well, she says she does. But, you know, even if she does, then she'll take him and he'll get to see him once a month. Sounds like you're filling in the blanks with your personal experience. Are you filling in the blanks with your personal experience? Have you been burned, Jim? I live in San Diego. Of course I've been burned. I see where you're coming from.
She's the kind of chick that watches CSI and then just goes to daddy and gets a loan to go to school and realizes she has to take math to be a tech. I mean, she's just... Could be. Could be, man. Hey, thank you for the call. I appreciate it. M1 Heidi is on the line from Chula Vista. Heidi, are you there? Yes. Go ahead. Hello. Good morning. Good morning. I believe that if she plans on honoring the vows for better or worse, then go for it. Otherwise, if she isn't going to... she meets somebody and she falls in love and plans on leaving the sky in the future, then no. But if she's going to honor the vows, go for it. I have news for everybody. There's a ton of women out there right now doing this very thing. There's a ton of men that are allowing it, but they're like, I want a family, you want a family, let's just settle. Isn't that awful though, LLB? Don't you think that's bad? I mean, it's been happening since the beginning of marriage. It's not.
Good, though. No. You can't. You've got to be in love with someone. Yeah, but the church says you have to be married to have a family. What if you want a family, but you just haven't found love yet? People feel this pressure. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, I still wouldn't, though. I'll be with the best of what's around. No way. It's the church's fault, right? I'm just saying me. It's definitely the church's fault. I'm just saying me. Wow. L-O-B. Why Jay got married? No, no, no. I get the sentiment. I get the sentiment. And what I would say to it is the church does say you got to be married in order to make sex. So if you can't find love, this, you know, this perfect love where you know that this is your soulmate, then you don't deserve to have a family. OK, I'll put it this way to you because I hear what you're saying. I would just put it this way. Let's say that I was a single guy and I couldn't find love. OK. And then I find this girl. We're best friends. I know she's not in love with me, but I want a family. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. Happens all the time. Okay. But if I do that, I know I'm setting myself up. Yeah. For failure. But if you know that you kind of have a like-minded thing where like, no, we're not necessarily, you know, in deep love with each other. But what's actually more important than me than finding love is being a mom or being a dad, you know?
Yeah. And the church says, you know, you got to be married to make that happen. She looks at me with those steely blue eyes. She'll get you. She looks at me with those steely blue eyes and she goes... And you guys, like, think that girls are a beating if they go and get artificially inseminated and try to have babies on their own. I don't think that. It's a bad idea. See? It is a bad idea. So what's she supposed to do? I've known people that have done it that have been hugely successful. Wait a minute. Is it so crazy to think that maybe somebody would just hang on a second? We don't know how old that girl is. Maybe I wrote the email. Who knows? TikTok. Make it hot. L.O.B., you... I like it. First of all, you can be 58 years old.
You wait until you fall in love, man. No way. Not if her goal is to be a mom before her goal is to find Prince Charming. You get comfortable. How terrible. You go out there and you settle, ladies. Yeah, go out and settle today. Take what you can find. Take what you get. I'm just saying, it's not exactly my quest, but it's happening all the time and I don't fault them. L-O-B. It's the church's fault. Oh, God. It is not. All the church says is that you've got to be married to have a baby. Well, yeah, that's what she wants. And you're like, no, we should just be able to go artificially inseminate. Well, what if someone wants a kid more than they want love? Artificial insemination. Nothing wrong with it, but I believe you should have a husband and a wife. Right. I mean, otherwise, why would you purposefully want to raise a single parent? She's trying to do it your way. She's trying to do it your church's way. I mean, I think it's better, but I don't think you have to have it that way. People do it all the time. She's damned if she does. She's damned if she doesn't. My sister raised two great kids by herself. Oh, I'm not saying that it can't be done. I mean, my wife. My wife was raised by a single parent. Oh, my God, J.O. Yes, your wife might as well be a single mom, Mac. Yes, she is, Mac. I mean, you're the worst. The worst. God.
You are the absolute worst excuse for a husband and a father. You put a scooter together? I guarantee you that thing's going to break. I guarantee you, Matt. Hey, Matt, am I supposed to bring a big old batch of brownies in here for you? Oh, look at the scooter maker over here. He's practically like a Keebler freaking elf. Oh, look, it's like we're up in the North Pole. The guy's building scooters. I can't believe it. First scooter, huh? Everybody remembers their first scooter. You came home from work, didn't go right in your office. You get a medal out. Let's throw a medal around your neck. I guess you only watched three documentaries yesterday, right? Oh, man, yeah. If you built a scooter, it must have only been three, not five.
Let me tell you something, Mike. I built my first scooter in utero, all right? Scooter-os. Scooter-os. That's what I called them. Scooter-os. Hey, Mike, I have an idea. Let's do the F factor for father. Say, who wins that? Mono E. Mono. Oh, my God. Wood can't play. He ain't allowed to play. He ain't got no kids. Yeah, well, unless they change that F to fat, you ain't going to win nothing. They changed it to that, Mike. You're coming in first place. First place? It's not even contrast. I won't open it up to anyone but you. Wouldn't even be fair, Mike, if it was the fat factor. You could only vote for one person. Mike. Mike, fat. Fat and factor. That's right, the fat factor. Starring Michael Esparza, the fattiest on the radio. Hey, Mike, I just checked. percentages of the F factor. Guess what? 100%. 100%. It's the first time in the history of Poland somebody's gotten 100%. 400% with your cholesterol. Get it. F crap, Dad. Who? Who? Who? Do you know what Jay has put up? What? I saw him holding up a sheet. Oh, yeah. Yep. Someone on the line would like to do
JFax. Let's see what this is about. M1 Ben, are you there, Ben? I am. Okay, Ben, you're calling in because you want to do JFax and you want to do it with someone. So you need someone to call in right now at 570-194-9 to go back and forth with you and give us an example of what a JFax might sound like. Is this going to count? Yes, it's, well, just so that people know so that they can call in and do what you want to do here. Give us an example. Jay Isbell's tears cure cancer. That's what we're talking about. Like Chuck Norris. Yeah, Chuck Norris bit. How crazy that Jay wanted us. What? Interrupted a bit we were already. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I just see something so good. Walked in with a sheet of paper. Hey, make sure y'all get to this. There's a guy that wants to do stuff about me. All right, Ben. This is M1CC. Are you there, CC? Yep. Okay, you're going to take Ben on in JFax. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. All right, Ben, you start. All right, here's my first one. I got a preview, but it's J. Isbell's Tears Cure Cancer.
Okay. He never cried. CC. Top that. All right. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Jay out, and it failed miserably. Jay's cracking up. Go ahead, Ben. Jay Isbell counted to infinity twice. It's true. All right. Crap circles are Jay Isbell's way of telling the world that sometimes... Corn needs to lie the hell down. Jay has his pants off. Yes. He wanted me to take this phone call. Hey, let's just slam on the emergency. And we're going on Jay all the time, Mike. K-J-A-Y. He's got to go. Hurry up. Okay, Cece. Hang on a second. I want you guys, as soon as one of you finishes, the other needs to just start. If this is going to sound any good. Go ahead. Jay Isabel doesn't hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
Jay Isbell goes killing. That one got me. Jay Isbell made Ellen DeGeneres straight. Now that's true. That's actually a true fact. They have the same haircut, too. That is true. If you can see Jay Isbell, he can see you. If you can't see Jay Isbell, you may be only seconds away from death. Jay Isbell always has sex on the first date. Always. That's a true fact, though. Whether they want it or not. They're getting it. They're getting it. Let's call it a date. Remember I said it was prostitution. If a man goes out with a woman and she accepts. Now you're getting it. And he buys dinner and she eats a steak. Prostitution. She's a hooker. She's a hooker. All right. Thank you, you two. Thank you. Hello? Thank you. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So weird, Jay. Really weird. And he calls about us or no? Nothing yet. Let's see. M1 M1 Trophy Lounge from Chula Vista. You got one? Jay Isbell does not sleep. He waits. That's my flock. I love y'all. I love y'all flock. Y'all are good. So good. Flocked you. Feels real good, flock. I flocked you. It's a great flocking day. Go all day. Oh, my God. So weird. Ha, ha, J-L-O-L. Let me interrupt, man. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's Captain. Excellent job. Mikey. 570-1949. Ha, ha, ha. Or text. That is funny. At 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Now is the time to step up to Ford F-150. Special lease programs have just been announced.
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The countdown is on. It all happens Friday starting at 5 a.m. You'll find incredible savings throughout the entire store during Sportulae's Black Friday sale. Save on footwear, bikes, fitness, and camping gear, and so much more. Plus, you'll receive a free $25 Sportulae cash card when you spend $100 or more. Get your gift shopping done early this year. Go to Sportulae.com to preview our Black Friday sale circular now. Chairman of Dietz & Watson, it's the holidays. Things can get stressful. Well, you can relax. Dietz & Watson has been preparing your holiday party since 1939. 72 years. So relax. Unless your holiday ham or party tray isn't from Dietz & Watson. In that case, start freaking out, hon. Insist on Dietz & Watson at your favorite market and deli. And happy hosting days to you and yours. Tis the season for holiday travel.
Lucky for you, it's also time for the Ram, Dodge, Chrysler, and Jeep Big Finish event, where you'll get 0% APR financing on all Dodge models, like the Durango with best-in-class power and the Journey with an available 8.4-inch touchscreen. So no matter which Dodge vehicle you choose, you'll get to your holiday destination with your sanity in check. During the Big Finish event, lease the 2012 Dodge Challenger SXT for $278 a month for 36 months with $24.99 due at least signing for well-qualified lessees. Tax title and license extra. Financing for well-qualified buyers through Ally Financial. Not all buyers will qualify. Excludes SRT8 and AVP packages. 2012 Wards Vehicle Segmentation. EPA Estimated Fuel Economy Rear Wheel Drive with Available 8-Speed Transmission. Call 1-888-4-Dodge for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Residency restrictions apply. Must take retail delivery by 1130. Ram, Dodge, Chrysler, and Jeep are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC. It is the Friday after Thanksgiving. You're waiting for the AT&T store to open. A huge phone sale awaits you. Chewing the last bite of pumpkin pie, you rush to the AT&T store clutching a list. Soon you'll have a great deal and a gift for every name on that list. A full keyboard phone for your texting-obsessed teen. A phone that shoots HD video for your brother the wannabe filmmaker. Maybe even a little something for yourself.
Of course, the AT&T's after Thanksgiving sale isn't just on Friday. It lasts all weekend. You could have slept late and still gotten the same great bargains. But where's the fun in that? Get the perfect deals on the perfect holiday gifts on Black Friday and all weekend at the after Thanksgiving sale at AT&T. This can be the best holiday season ever. with 0% APR financing on the most awarded SUV ever, the Jeep Grand Cherokee. Standard 290 horsepower and more than 540 miles highway driving range. It's no holiday miracle. It's 0% financing at the Ram, Dodge, Chrysler, and Jeep Big Finish event.
During the Big Finish event, lease the 2012 Grand Cherokee Laredo V6 4x2 for $309 a month for 36 months with $24.99 due at least signing for well-qualified lessees. Tax, title, and license extra. Get to your local Jeep dealer today. Financing for well-qualified buyers through Ally Financial. Not all buyers will qualify. Based on awards vehicle segmentation. 16 city, 23 highway, EPA estimated MPG with 3.6 liter 4x4. Call 1-888-925-JEEP for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Take retail delivery by 11-30-11. Ram, Dodge, Chrysler, and Jeep are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC. This fall, warn Miller's Like There's No Tomorrow will bring you on a global tour of the perfect winter. Adjust your gear, take a deep breath, and shred. Launch. Spin. Charge. Like there's no tomorrow. Join Warren Miller cinematographer Tom Day as he shoots his first 800-inch California winter and captures incredible powder turns laid down in Squaw Valley by Johnny Mosley, J.T. Holmes, Michelle Parker, and more. India, Chile, New Zealand, Norway. It's all here. So get out there and buy tickets like there's no tomorrow because tickets are on sale now.
Check warrenmiller.com for details. FM 94.9 welcomes Warren Miller's Like There's No Tomorrow to the San Diego area next week with screenings in La Jolla, Carlsbad, and Encinitas. Ticket holders get buy one, get one free lift ticket offers to Heavenly and Mountain High and $25 off at Sports Chalet. Get your tickets at ticketfly.com, select Sports Chalet stores, and at theater box offices. Check warrenmiller.com for more information. Tis the season for large seedless holiday grapes, but you can't find them just anywhere. Unless you stop by Albertsons, where right now they're picked at peak freshness and piled high. Make your holiday fresh at Albertsons. It's the most wonderful sale of the year. Plenty of saving on Nissan innovation. It all happens here. Nissan's making sure everyone's a little jolly this season with the season's best offers. Like 0% financing for 60 months on Altima or 0% financing on Sentra. It's the perfect time to get the Nissan on your wish list with 0% financing on Nissan Altima or Sentra. Visit ChooseNissan.com or your San Diego County Nissan dealer. Hurry in.
Financing from 36 to 60 months, $27.78 or $16.67 per month per thousand borrowed. For qualified buyers, call 1-888-858-8319 for details and 11-3011. It's the most wonderful sale of the year. This report is brought to you by Firestone Complete Auto Care. All Firestone Complete Auto Care locations are open this Friday, November 25th for all of your maintenance, repair, and tire needs. Call 1-800-LOCATE-US for the location nearest you. Some backup here on the 163 southbound before Friars Road. Due to an earlier accident, they have cleared that, but you still have some slowing in the area. Looks like the 78 eastbound at Twin Oaks Valley Road, you've got delays through San Marcos. Encinitas bunched up on the 5 southbound between La Costa Avenue and heading on the 805 northbound between University Avenue, Claremont Mesa Boulevard. Also some delays. This report brought to you by Sharp. For health care the way it should be, make sure your health insurance plan lets you choose Sharp. Call 1-800-82-SARP or visit Sharp.
I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. What does it do, Jay? It makes it 3D. I wanted one of those avatars to be like, and like beat my face and go. Woods. If 16-year-old girls are in on something, I'm out on it. Lauren. I'm very aggressive when it comes to lines. And Jay. If you want any, you'll be nice to me. Yes, ma'am. On FM 94.9. They have not announced it yet. And I want it. to be done. One way or the other, just end it. The R factor. The R factor has been going on on Fox 5. How long? Weeks. A year? A year. A full year. Feels like a year. It's been weeks. And it's down to me and Boston Rob. And they've been voting and the voting ended yesterday at noon. And sometime between now and 10.
They're going to announce on Fox 5 the winner. I will say this. I think it's cool to be here. You know what I mean? Yep. To be to the final two is cool. Have you prepared anything? No. Other than this. Thank you to the Academy. I would like to thank the Academy. Agent, don't forget your agent, your producer. I know who else you got to thank. Who? He pointed at the sky. No. You kiss your finger and point this guy. He just, that guy, he will get me. Just throwing that out there. Oh, my God. Wow. I mean. You're like Tebow after a playoff game. Is this the first time you've ever won anything? Well, I'm speechless now. You rocked my life.
You think this is abuse? You can't take this. How can you take the abuse you get on a sit? I don't know, but I just... You just come in here every day and take it. I'm just trying. Give it right back to me. But if I... Even if I don't win it, it was cool to be... Put that coffee down. I was just taking a drink of the coffee. That's all I'm doing. You see this watch? That watch costs more than your car. Okay, great. You don't have to scream at me. You see, pal, that's who I am and you're nothing. Oh, well, that's not very nice, Jay, at all. That's where I got pal from, by the way. Because the good news is you're fired. Love it. Bet you heard that before. Yeah. A couple hundred times. Man, if there's a record for heaviest gay to be fired in radio. Because the good news is you're fired.
You'd win it, right? Yeah. You've won it. I mean, don't act like you haven't. Right. I know they did Fattest DJ in San Diego last year, and you won it. You drove a Hyundai to get here tonight. I drove an $80,000 BMW. That's my name. Aren't you the poster child? What's a child? What's a poster child? Poster child? No, Jay. I am not the poster child. Yeah, I bet she backs out. He's like, well, see, I sold you. See? That's our Jay. That's him. It's a revelerent. You're overthinking it, Jay. See what happens when you're overthinking it. Whatever you think you know about this man is a revelerent. I guess it's a revelerent. Oysters. He didn't hear that one. I don't hear any of them. Oysters. Oysters. What is it, Jay? Oysters. Oysters. I love it so much. Like Oysters Rockefellers. Yeah.
Oysters on the half show. Oysters with cocktails. Oyster bar. Oyster bar. Oyster shot. Oyster crackers. Oyster crackers. Oysters. Oyster casserole. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. He genuinely has no idea. He has no idea. And he looks at you like, what's the matter with you? What y'all making fun of me for? And let me tell you something. Contagious. It's contagious. I now say Taylor Swift. Irrevelerent. Irrevelerent, and it's become an oyster. It is not. It's no longer an oyster. It hasn't been in my life since the day he said oysters. Oh, my God. It's been my greatest and happiest thing ever. I don't get it. I'll be having some oyster stuffing in a couple of days real good. Bring us some. Yeah. You eat anything weird at your house, L.O.B.? Nope, just the standard.
How about you, Woods? I think we do some pretty standard stuff. How about you, Jay? You know, I'm trying to think if there's anything unusual, but no, it's all... You make Thanksgiving dinner, right? Well, no, I make the turkeys. We do the turkeys on the barbecue pit. Every year? Every year. You do not... When's the last time you did an oven roasted? I can't even remember. What about a fried? No, it's expensive to do a fried. It's like $60 in oil. So I'm doing the first, yeah. I tried to use castor oil one year and it didn't work. I'll start my first turkey. We'll go on tomorrow. We've got one starting to brine today. It'll go on the barbecue pit. We'll start rotissering it tomorrow. Where do you put the brine? What do you put it in? In a big container, like a cooler. And what's your brine consist of? Oh, it's, I have to look back, but it's apple cider. There's some apple cider. There's some cloves, some black pepper. I did that one year. That's enough. Well, I will tell you this. It was incredibly good. I mean, it was probably the best turkey I've ever had. But, man, dude, it takes a lot to brine. It gives me anxiety. Yeah, there's a lot of work involved. I mean, there's a payoff to it. It's the best turkey you'll ever have. I mean, what do you mean it takes a lot of work? Don't you just throw all that stuff in the cooler and leave it? Yeah, but you got butt. But it isn't butt.
You also have to be really careful of not getting anybody sick because you're talking about raw poultry. You're talking about putting it in that thing. I have a couple of big pots that we do it in and then we put it in a cooler, keep it iced down overnight. You have to. And then put it on rotisserie on the barbecue pit so they flip, flip, flip. And then right at the end, we rub them. There's this rub, this hot, hot rub we put on them so it makes it a little spicy. Like spicy? Mm-hmm. Wait, wait, wait. I'm confused because how do you rub something on something that's piping hot? You just sprinkle it on? So basically before we even get started, I do this rub. It's still the birds just right out of the brine. I put the rub on them and then spin them for, you know, it usually takes about three hours to do rotisserie because they cook in that brine. The brine starts to cook them. It takes about 45 minutes off the cooking time. It cooks it. And then right at the last minute, I do this cranberry glaze over the whole thing, painted on. That is so much work. That is amazing. He is such a freaking family man. He loves cooking. He loves cooking. That's rad. I love to cook, but the turkey, it's too much. Now, I watched a half-hour infomercial on a turkey fryer that has been created to cook turkeys, fry them indoors.
Indoors. Indoors. Wow. Dude. The best turkey around. Fries up to a 14-pound bird. I heard about it for 10 years. Got to try fried turkey. Finally talked my mom into getting one. You can't even imagine how good it is. When it's done right. When it's done right. It's the greatest. You did it, Jay? I've never done it myself, but I've been with people who have done it. Will said that they just did one this last weekend, and the guy injected it with barbecue sauce. That's what you do. This one that I saw, it was like one of those set it and forget it guys. You know, infomercial. And the guy had, it wasn't barbecue sauce. It was like, basically like butter. Yeah. You know, which is what you put on the outside of a bird anyway. And he had different flavors that he had patented. So he had garlic. He had honey something. And he had some other thing. That all sounds fantastic. Oh, my God. I can't wait. He injected it. And then it looked like a rice cooker. He put the bird in it. It looks like the typical fryers that they do fries in at the fast food places. And he just plopped it down in there. It took.
I want to say for a 14-pound bird, it wasn't that long. No. I want to say it's like a minute per pound or something. Well, this... No, no, no, no. This took at least a half hour. Oh, okay. Took at least a half. Two minutes per pound, maybe? Yeah. That is rad. But, yeah. So, dude... So, when will it be arriving at your house? I did not get it. Weird. I did not get it, but I thought about it. Next year. What is fried... So, what... It's the skin that gets crispy. What's the difference? The inside's juicy, too. It seals it. When you drop it in there, it just seals the bird. It's magnificent. Well, I would imagine it is because fried chicken is about one of my favorite things in the world. I love fried chicken. This turkey is so moist. I hate that word, but boy, it works. It's appropriate to use when you're talking about turkey. The whole trick to cooking turkey is the meat. thermometer you know what i can never figure out jay that's the trick it is there's a trick let me tell you something you mess that up which i have because i've always been the turkey guy that had to do it you mess that up it's the difference between a good thanksgiving and a sucky thanksgiving because if you mess it up if you mess the temperature up it's dry yeah and there's nothing worse nothing nothing worse than than and everybody is trying to be polite
Nobody wants to say it, so everybody's like, this is wonderful. This is great. It's so good. Undercooked is no good. Overcooked is dry. No, it's terrible. It's dry. It's awful. It's what gravy's for. I hate dry turkey. 174 is the temperature you're looking for. Because then when you pull it off at about 174, it keeps cooking for 30 minutes. I learned that on Sopranos. Now, the thing that gets me, though, is they say you're supposed to stick the thing, and I always... Where, where, where? It's hard. The fat is like the thickest part. Right. It's in between. The thermometer's got to go. Yeah, can't touch a bone. Cannot touch a bone. And it's got to go in between the thigh, I think, and the breast. Right. And it's kind of hard to do. It is kind of hard to do, yeah. And I hate the whole process, man. I don't mind. Frying a turkey, that sounds good to me. Yeah. And what he's doing. That's so good. It's much more fun to eat it than to prepare it. That's fair enough. M1 Veronica, are you there? I'm here. Hello. Hi. So this year I'm going to my boyfriend's house and his brother-in-law is getting a turducken. Oh, yeah. Tell everybody what a turducken is. It is partially deboned turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with chicken. It's delicious. Had it last year. Freaking delicious. And he's frying it.
So, number one, it's my first fried turkey, and it's been my first turducken. Fried turducken. Oh, my God. I bet it's amazing. Jay, did you like it? I'm so excited. I had it last year, and I was all excited, and it was heinous. Disgusting. It's delicious. Sorry, but it was not. It could have been the way it was cooked. I don't know, but it was just. I found it on the street. Veronica, don't worry, because I know a guy that says it's the greatest thing ever. I've always wanted to try it. It's so good. His sister told me at church on Sunday, and I'm like, yay, and I started doing a little dance because I've always wanted to try a turducken. Delicious. I'm okay with turkey. I'm okay with chicken, but duck. Duck is a little weird. Duck is a little wild. That's what it was. That was a duck made everything kind of oily. Also, I was listening about checking the temperature. Uh-huh. And my mom, okay, she's from, like, the south and everything. She's never used a thermometer. She's always baked it in the oven. It sounds really crazy. My eye. When the thigh, when you can move the leg really easily in the joints, it's done. Too cooked. Too cooked. That's rad. No. It's come out voiced and juicy. She's saying it. You move the leg a little bit. You're good. I can't do that. This is so foul. You know, freely. Literally. Literally. Foul. Yeah. You turkey.
It's the best. Thank you. Thank you, Veronica. You guys have a fantastic Thanksgiving. You do, too. We love you. My mouth is watering for Thanksgiving. I know. Weird. It's typical fat guy. He's been sitting on it. Turkey. Oh, I want it. I want it so bad. Fat boy. You ever had to prepare a Thanksgiving dinner? Come on. No. No. I've never done it. Here's what I do on Thanksgiving. Couch. The time's lunch. I don't do jack. Melody, have you ever done, have you ever prepared? A couple times, yes. I have. Look at you. I've done the turkey a couple times. This year I'm not doing the turkey. I'm just doing some sides. What do you, what's the, yeah, I don't even know what you're doing. What am I doing? Yeah. I'm spinning it with my sister and my brother and some friends. So you just have to do, you only have to do the sides. Some sides, yeah. That's not bad. Any organic options? Well, yeah, I'll be making stuffing and I'll be using organic ingredients. As many as I can. You know, it's Thanksgiving, L-O-B. Mike, you said yourself organic tastes better. It does. It depends. Why do you hate eating well? Yeah. Why do you guys love preservatives and pesticides? I love preservatives and fats. I am wearing a t-shirt that says hormones on it with a thumbs up. I want to give you guys, and I mean everybody listening.
A big heads up on something cool. What is the date? Oh, no. Well, for next year, because Thanksgiving's day after tomorrow. But for next year, Lobels.com. L-O-B-E-L-S. This is a butcher shop in New York City that started out back in the 20s and were very, very well known for their cuts. Back in the old days, they was known. Hey, Lobos, right? Stop by Lobos before you go home, get home tonight. Talk to Mario. Take care of you. Tell him I sent you. Hey, Mario, how you doing? I'm good. How you doing? What's your name? You know my name. You know my last name. Well, I know your last name. I'm with Vince. Are you convinced you? Yeah. What can I do for you? Well, he wanted me to talk to you because he says he hasn't seen you. I've been here. I've been working. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Things going good, huh? Yeah, not bad, not bad. Business going well. Business good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vince says he hasn't seen you. Hey, who are you talking to? Hey, I got a customer here, hon. Shut your mouth, all right? Are you working or are you talking? Yeah, I'm working. Shut your mouth. Yeah, Vince says he hasn't seen you for two months. Supposed to see you every two weeks, so, you know. I've been here. Maybe you stop by, you say hi to Vince. All right, all right. Can I help you with anything? Well, no, you can help Vince because business been good, huh? It's not bad. I told you to call Vince. Hey, the city's still busting your balls. Yeah, she's still busting my balls. No, not her. I said the city. Oh, the city. The city's still busting your balls on that thing. Yeah, you're on the thing. You take care of that thing for me? Well, it's already taken care of. So that's why Vince was wondering, you got to stop by and say hi. Look, I'm not going to be shaking down, all right? What's he talking about? Shaking down. You don't shake me down. What are you using such drastic terminology here, huh? Who's shaking? What is he talking about? I don't know. Will you shut up? Hey. We running a family business here or what? Who's a lovely lady? That's my wife. You don't worry about my wife. Hi, how are you? Vincent, I heard. Vince, yeah. What's your name? How are you? Give me mwah. Mwah, mwah. What's your name? My name is Sylvia. Sylvia. Sylvia. Sylvia. Yeah. Let me ask you a question. You and Sylvia are here? You got the family here locally? Yeah, we got a couple of rugrats at home. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pauly. Boy, are they all healthy?
Yeah, the healthy. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, good. You're threatening my family. Got a lot of questions. Whoa, whoa, asking a question. Yeah, what, are you on the school paper? You're writing a report? No, I'm coming in here. I told you, I'm with Vince. Put him in the ground, Sal. I'll put him in the ground. I came in with Vince. Get him out of here. Get him out of here. He's a stupid ass. Identical butcher shop in 1936. Lobos.com. It's the greatest. Identical Lobos. We just said, hey, listen, Lobos better send. I just did a 45-minute commercial for Lobos. No, but they do. You can get steak, chicken, turkey, everything, and it's all done the right way. How do you know? What do you mean? I mean, how'd you find this place? Crush It. Remember Crush It? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Crush It. Crush It knows. In fact, Crush It was the turducken guy. But Crush It knows fine things. He knows fine things. He'll find. Yeah, if you need, if you go, you know, I need a nice shirt for this wedding. And I mean, like, a nice shirt. You call Crush It. Yeah, you go to Parker Brothers, okay? They'll take care of you and tell them I sent you. Yeah. All right. You go in there. Listen, you come over.
As the king and you get dressed. They laid it out for you. All right. It'll be really great. I call my friend Mark Bauman for that advice. Bark. Bark Malman. I call a friend of mine that was in Pretty in Pink. He lives in Chicago. And if I need any sort of assistance with anything that has to do with fine things, I call him. Now, if I want to know about things that have to do with a toilet or a ghetto, I call his would-be wife. Molly Ringwald. Yes. She ended up marrying that. And it turns out that he says he's in love with her. So what are you going to do? They came out here and I said, well, I'll call around and see if a barn is available. You can, of course, stay with me. But I thought maybe the sow would stay out in the barn. Oh, wow. And then I said, obviously, I jest. You know, I'm kidding. Just your best friend. It's no big deal. It's no big deal. Why listen to somebody you grew up with for, I don't know, 30 years? Yeah. Okay. 30? I thought you were in high school, James Spader. I'm drinking scotch and smoking cigarettes in the hallway. You guys are 17. Well, I actually am 47. Well, we've grown up now. I'm now on The Office and look like I stopped snorting cocaine and started snorting sausage. Yeah. Real good. Do you like him on The Office? I do. He's brilliant. He's brilliant.
We are going to be talking to Jay and Silent Bob. Nice. Do you think Silent Bob's going to talk or is he just going to be silent? That's a good question. I was just thinking that because I said Silent Bob. How do you talk to Silent Bob? No, they are awesome. Jason Mewes. Kevin Smith. Yep. I, listen, if it's a director, I, and if it's, I mean, this is Kevin Smith. Yeah. So, we'll be talking to him in just a minute. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Clark and Nostalgia rolls into town when Good Guys returns to the Del Mar Fairgrounds. November 25th, 6th and 7th. It's the Good Guys Fall Del Mar Nationals Car Show presented by McGuire. Three days of over 15.
100 candy-cutter cars and trucks, plus vendor exhibits, a mega swap meet, cars for sale, live entertainment, model car show, a way cool surf woody exhibition, the Tiger Screech and Good Guys Autocross, and so much more. And don't miss the Super Sunday Get-Together, open to all years American-made and powered vehicles. The perfect event for the entire family. The Good Guys Fall Del Mar Nationals presented by Maguire. November 25th through the 27th at the Del Get details and purchase your tickets today at good-guys.com. Get $3 off general admission when you bring a new unwrapped toy to the event in association with Toys for Tots and the Wounded Warriors program. Mama Dietz here, chairman of Dietz & Watson. It's the holidays. Things can get stressful, especially when you're a host. Well, guess what? You can relax. That's right. Relax. It's the holidays. Because Dietz & Watson has been preparing your holiday party since 1939. Four generations, 72 years, working on your 2011 holiday party. Our party trays and holiday hams don't have artificial flavor. They don't have additives. Those things weren't around in 1939. And at Dietz & Watson, they still aren't. So relax.
Unless your holiday ham or party tray isn't from Dietz & Watson. In that case, start freaking out, hon. Insist on Dietz & Watson at your favorite market and deli. And happy hosting days to you and yours. My favorite instrument is the triangle. My favorite flavor is caramel. My favorite animal is the seahorse. My favorite word is undulating. My favorite parent is my mom. Sorry, Dad. My favorite McCafe drink? I can't pick just one. Come take a fresh look at McCafe's luscious beverages made just for you with real whipped cream, rich chocolate, and drizzled indulgently with caramel. Whether it's the new caramel hot chocolate or an iced or hot caramel melka, stop in today to find your new favorite, the simple joy of caramel at participating McDonald's. All right, guys, ready for two weeks in the wild or what? Absolutely. All right, then strap on those backpacks. Hey, let me just check this text. Oh, come on, man. Oh, no. What? Not now. What is it? McRib is back. What? We're going to miss it. Uh, this backpack just got really heavy, guys. All right, everybody back in the car. We are going to McDonald's. Yeah, good. The holidays can be hectic, so participating McDonald's will be open on Thanksgiving Day. Take a break and visit your nearest location until 2 p.m. or later. Happy Thanksgiving from McDonald's.
Every Mini has always offered iconic style, go-kart handling, and exhilarating performance. Now there's the Mini Countryman. It has all the things that makes a Mini a Mini and a little bit more. It's bigger, so there's more than enough space for your next big adventure, and it's also the first Mini with four doors. There's even available all-wheel drive. You even get three-year, 36,000-mile, no-cost maintenance included. The Mini Countryman. It's just a little bit more Mini to love. Learn more and arrange for a test drive at miniofsdcounty.com. The countdown is on. It all happens Friday starting at 5 a.m. You'll find incredible savings throughout the entire store during Sportulet's Black Friday sale. Save on footwear, bikes, fitness and camping here and so much more. Plus you'll receive a free $25 Sportulet cash card when you spend $100 or more. Get your gift shopping done early this year. Go to sportulet.com to preview our Black Friday sale circular now. This is the Friday after Thanksgiving. You're waiting for the AT&T store to open. A huge phone sale awaits you. Chewing the last bite of pumpkin pie, you rushed to the AT&T store clutching a list. Soon you'll have a great deal on a gift for every name on that list. A full keyboard phone for your texting obsessed teen. A phone that shoots HD video for your brother the wannabe filmmaker. Maybe even a little something for yourself. Of course, the AT&T's after Thanksgiving sale isn't just on Friday. It lasts all weekend. You could have slept late and still gotten the same great bargains. But where's the fun in that? Get the perfect deals on the perfect holiday gifts on Black Friday and all weekend at the after Thanksgiving sale at AT&T. Rethink Possible.
Come in and save on the perfect gift from AT&T, like the Samsung Galaxy S2 4G smartphone, for free when you purchase the Samsung Galaxy Tab 8.9 for $479.99. Limited 4G LTE availability in select markets. Samsung Galaxy Tab 8.9 requires a two-year agreement with minimum $35 monthly data plan. Samsung Galaxy S2 is free with a two-year voice agreement and minimum $15 monthly data plan. Other charges and restrictions apply. Visit att.com or store for details. I know you've heard the phrase beat the rush before, but listen, you want to beat this rush. Now you tune me out if I told you to scurry on down to the Target four-day sale before Thanksgiving and save big with pre-Black Friday deals on the season's hottest games, toys, and kitchen appliances that are strong enough to turn steel into a smoothie. Or shake a leg, because now is the best time to get great deals on Hot Wheels Waltrak set as well as Oster blenders. But listen to what my vaguely recognizable voice is telling you. There are hot deals to be had. And if you lead footed on down to... target for the four-day sale while respecting all highway laws of course you won't have to wake up at midnight to get the exclusive men's denim that makes your man look good from head to posterior to toe so here it is again beat the rush all's fair and love and war sees the target four-day sale whatever will make you understand the magnitude of this sale pretend i said it beat the rush at the target four-day sale now through wednesday only and check out target's online weekly ad for great deals and coupons target expect more pay less
This holiday season, give your loved one the gift that keeps on giving. Giving off alert signals like those in the 2012 E-Class with an attention assist system that can actually help alert drivers if it detects signs of drowsiness. Come into the Mercedes-Benz Winter Event now and get the Mercedes-Benz you've always dreamed of for a price you never dreamed possible. Now get the 2012 E350 Sport Sedan, part of the Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest in the luxury car category. for just 1.9% APR for 37 to 66 months, or a lease price of only $599 a month for 30 months with $4,369 due at signing. But hurry, offers end soon. The Mercedes-Benz Winter Event. May all your holiday wishes come true. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through November 30, 2011. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See a Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Hone Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. This holiday season, Miller Coors and Crust Beverage encourage you to plan ahead.
Call a taxi or choose a designated driver. They'll get you to the party and back home safely. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. This report brought to you by Del Taco. It's Tuesday, Taco Night at Del Taco. Right now, get three regular tacos for just $109. That's three tacos for $109 at Del Taco every Tuesday from 3 to 11 at participating Del Taco restaurants. A little slow this morning on the 5 northbound via De La Valle due to an earlier accident that they have cleared. Encinitas, the 5 southbound, bunched up from Lucadia Boulevard to Manchester Avenue. You've got delays out of San Marcos on the 78 eastbound at Twin Oaks Valley Road. And the 56 west. Some backup here from Rancho Penasquitos to Carmel Creek Road. This report also brought to you by SeaWorld San Diego. Celebrate the holidays at SeaWorld featuring the all-new Snow World where you can play in real snow. Pay for a day. Get SeaWorld's Christmas celebration, Snow World, and all of 2012 free. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like it when it's cheap.
Lauren. I was a bit of a pyro when I was a kid. Woods. I haven't moisturized for days. Dying. And Jay. I'm an awesome beer drinker on the course. On FM 94.9. Welcome to Jay and Silent Bob. But first, what's going on, news boy? Well, I can tell you this much. The Jackson brothers just settled a suit over the Thriller Beat It jackets. Yes. The three brothers had gotten together and had a lawsuit going against the company that they alleged duped them into selling replicas of the jacket worn by the pop icon. It's funny. They say they did this as a tribute. But it's funny. They each got $100,000 and 1,000 jackets. Oh, my. That's quite a lot. Yeah, and this is the first, I guess, his son.
Prince was posed for the jackets, and they all went in autograph jackets and the whole nine yards. But I guess it was all settled on Monday. There you go. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Vikings running back Adrian Peterson has a high left ankle sprain. Head coach Leslie Frazier announced on Monday. Peterson sustained the injury in the final minute of the first quarter during Sunday's 27-21 loss to Oakland. Wow, you sound pretty good. He will be in a walking boot for the next couple of days and won't try to practice until Friday. The five-year veteran out of Oklahoma leads the NFL with 11 rushing touchdowns and his total 872 yards through 10 games. Well done. Well done. Is that good for change? For change. Lazy reporting style you've got. Let's go to the phones. Easy, Peter Murrow. Edward Murrow. Is this Jay and Silent Bob? Unfortunately, you only have the least talkative side, the Silent Bob one. The Jay guy one did a radio show. It's me, Kevin Smith. How are you guys? There you go. Kevin, how are you? I'm excellent. How is everybody down there? We're on our way there in a couple hours, man. Is that right?
Oh, yeah. I'm a big San Diego fan. I've had a lot of luck there. And this con, of course, every summer is a big recharge of batteries for me. And I get to look like it's the only place in the world where I look cool and could possibly get laid by someone who's not my wife. We've done many test screenings down at the Horton Plaza down there. So, you know, it's a cool area, a good power center for me. And hopefully tonight it proves true and we're going to Solana Beach to the belly up to do a podcast in front of a bunch of people. people yeah yeah so and that's what i wanted to ask so what what do people that if they go tonight what are they going to see uh essentially like basically uh if they've been listening to you guys all morning that's what they're going to see people sitting around talking like what we're doing with the podcasting is uh people on radio don't get enough credit it's the same thing as radio it's exact same thing it's just radio for like the guy who doesn't own a radio station or isn't getting paid by a radio station it's a simple I'm sure you guys do it when you go do live shows or broadcast live. Same thing. You just sit there and have conversations in front of people, and shockingly, it winds up being entertaining. You know, the nice thing, the freedom is when you do it in a live club and whatnot. Radio, of course, we're bound by the FCC rules. I can't tell you very dirty things I'd love to share with you this early in the morning. But, like, at a club, you're free to converse, you know, as much as you want on the stage, say as much as you want. So, you know, the conversations tend to go into really interesting places. I sit there with Jason Mewes.
who's a guy that played J.A. to my silent Bob for years in the movies. And he's had issues with drug abuse for years, years and years. Heroin, Oxycontin, real bad. The show's meant as a kind of, what do they call it, almost like an AA or an NA meeting, where essentially we just check in with him, and it's kind of like intervention. It keeps him clean, because every week we find out how he's doing, and he tells us stories about the days of using drugs. And, you know, if you've seen Trainspotting, it's not all blues. Sometimes it's something funny. especially in retrospect, when you're far from the painful distance of a dude who's kind of, you know, wasting his life on heroin or something like that. So, oddly enough, it's a fun show. Like, he sits there talking, telling stories that are really entertaining, and then he'll take you into a dark place about how his mother would just bring him to a stranger and lock him in a closet for nine hours so they could do heroin or something like that. And you're like, oh, my God, this happened to someone. And then he goes right back into a story about some starlet he porked on some movie. Like, everything's normal and right with the world again. It's just a nice human portrait inside someone who you've not, you know, Muse would never let you call him a celebrity, but it is, like, you never, you rarely get to see someone that you've seen in the movies. Just sit there and tell you warts and all stories about what real life is like and their struggles and whatnot. It's funny as hell. If you ever want to listen to it, you go to spodcast.com, click on Jameson, Bob Goodall, you get a taste for it.
Of everything that I've ever done involving Jason, it's this one I'm most proud of. It's one thing to write scripts and be like, you, go pretend to be this idiot. It's another thing to sit next to somebody. Now, wait a minute. I don't know where the story's going. If I remember right, though, with Muse, he was a buddy of yours, right? Yeah, Muse I've known for years. So when you did Clerks, you just told him, hey, be you. I'm sorry, say again? When you were doing Clerks, weren't you just like, hey, man, it's you? Yeah, yeah, basically. Well, by the time we did Clerks, he'd already kind of started getting into, I think he was a weed smoker in those days. But the character was based on who he was when he was about 16 years old. Like, he identified as straight edge, he said. He was like, no booze, no drugs, no chicks. I was like, I don't think straight edge do away with chicks, dude. But, you know, I let him believe what he wanted to believe. Then I went to film school, came back. He'd kind of, like, delved into... full-blown debauchery. He was a drinker, stoner, and he was having tons and tons of sex and whatnot. So when I, years later, when I was like, hey, I want to do this clerk, I was always basing that character on who he was when he was younger, when I first met him, when he was 16, because he was like this, I don't know how else to describe it. It was like a sonic boom with dirt on it. It was kind of amazing. One of the, he's one of those people that everybody has a friend like this where you're like, oh my God, you're so weird, man. You should be in a movie or something like that. You know, we're talking to Kevin Smith and what,
Your movie Clerks is one of the only movies that I can ever say this about. When I watched Clerks, it was back in the days of video. And when I watched Clerks for the first time, first of all, I laughed so hard. When the movie ended, I rewound it and I watched it again. Oh, that's awesome. It's one of the only movies that I'd ever done that. Well, it is the only movie I think I'd ever done that with. The reason we're talking today is because of that movie. Ultimately, that's the one that introduces me. to everybody, and then I kind of keep going from there. But that movie had this wonderful pass-along effect where, like, when you saw it, and I don't know how often you can get that going in this day and age because everything is so oversaturated in your face and marketed. But, I mean, it felt like you saw that movie, and then you wanted to, like, tell your friends, like, I just saw this thing, I've got to share it with you. It was currency. It was kind of cool currency, like a punk album or something like that. Yeah, it was, have you seen Clerks yet? No, you haven't. Go and see Clerks. I love that so much. I love that kind of currency, more so than the real currency. Don't get me wrong, they pay you nicely in this movie business, but that kind of thing meant something to me a great deal, and I chased it again with Red State. Like, I kind of chucked doing it the other way. It's just to get that credibility back, that feeling of, like, it's different, it's not going to be for everybody, man, and it'll have this pass-along effect. Now, Red State.
I haven't seen it, but I saw it the other day as a movie. Netflix. It's everywhere. Yeah, and it's a Kevin Smith movie about some kids that go out. They think they're going to get laid, right? Yes, it's always going to the woods to get laid. We said it's about three boys who go into the woods to find sex and instead find God. And when we say God, we mean this crazy religious fundamentalist family. chock-a-block full of guns. And the movie becomes this bizarre kind of religious thriller. I called it a horror movie for so long. And people were like, no, it's not a horror movie. I said, look, everything that happens in the movie is pretty horrifying. To me, it's a horror movie. Well, one thing that I have always said is I love talking to movie directors. It's one of the... If I had never... If I got to do anything else besides radio, that would be the thing that would be a dream. I'm trying to... Get where you are. You guys should switch places. You guys should switch out. I want to give up the pictures. I just want to talk. See, theater of the mind, which is kind of what radio is, talking inside someone's head, like someone listening to us have this conversation. They're building word pictures constantly. They're forming the room we're in, both of us in separate places, putting together how we're talking via the system. When someone laughs in the background, suddenly that person's placed into the...
movie in their mind. They do all the hard work, man, and the picture they're building far better than any picture I could put together for them in a movie. That is the coolest. That's the coolest. I'm limited by my ability to put pictures together in a convincing way to do the magic trick of making a movie, but when you listen and you're building that picture in your head, you're bound only by your own imagination. Kevin, let me ask you this. Because tonight, I want to let people know, tonight at the Belly Up, Kevin is doing Jay and Silent Bob Get Old. Is that what it's called? Jay and Silent Bob Get Old. That's the name of the podcast. It's Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith. And tonight, tickets are $35. It's almost sold out. It's doors open at 7 o'clock. The show's at 8. And one day, you're in L.A., right? Yeah, I will. Now, you've probably been on a ton of radio shows. But one day, I would love... If you could come to San Diego and I'll teach you some really good stuff about broadcasting. If one day I could watch you do what you do. Hang on a movie set. I guarantee you, you'll be there for about two hours and you'll be like, no, no, I won't. No, I won't. No, I won't. I won't. I've done webisodes. He loves to direct. Kevin, I really won't. And if you're serious, man, I really would like to watch that once.
I'll tell you what. I mean, I know the next production we're going to get into has hit somebody. It's a hockey movie, which we'll likely be shooting in Detroit, so that's far away. But I know we'll be shooting. I'll fly myself there. I'm not kidding. He will. He will. But if I know we're shooting something in this area, in this neck of the woods, then I'll definitely get you on set. It's easy. I mean, having people visit set is a pleasure when you're a filmmaker. But it starts off well where everybody goes, this will be fun. And then after a little while, they're like, you guys just keep doing the same thing over and over. Kevin, how can we take this from this fun conversation to this really actually happening? It's easy. As soon as I'm on a set, you're welcome to be there. I know, but how will it actually happen? Megan will be the connective material, the cartilage. Megan? Megan. Megan Quinlan. Okay, cool. Because I really want to do that. That's no problem. Oh, my God, that's easy. I want to do that one day. That's cool. And it would be really cool. Well, go see him tonight. Jay and Silent Bob Get Old is the podcast. And Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith are tonight at the Belly Up. Hey, Kevin, I had heard a long time ago, one of my favorite movies of all time was Fletch. And I had heard a rumor a long time ago. And I swear, I've been looking for this every year. Are you remaking Fletch?
There was one point where I was going to be doing not so much a remake of Fletch, but there's a series of books. Right. The next Fletch. Gregory McDonald wrote. And there was a Fletch book that was kind of like one of the last in the series. Right. Fletch One, W-O-N. And it went back and told the origin story of the character. Right. So you'd be using a younger Fletch. And I wanted Jason Lee for five years. I held on to doing that with Jason Lee and Harvey Weinstein, which was like, no, he's not a movie star. No. Really? No. So weird, man. I met with Zach Braff, who was a nice guy. I met with the dude from that 70s show, which is Topher Grace. Topher Grace, yep. Jason Lee would be perfect. These are the cats that they wanted. I wanted Jason Lee, but Harvey wouldn't see it. Oh, Harvey. But now I understand that Warner Brothers, so I think they're doing a remake of the... Oh, I wish I could talk this way. I wish I could be saying these things where you know about studios, and you're involved with studios, and you make films, and you get to direct, and oh my gosh, it's great. Oh, that's great. It still sounded cool. It was coming from you. It's a direct, you know. All right, well, hopefully you're serious, and Megan will let me do this, and blah, blah, blah, because I want to do it so bad. Oh my God, it'd be...
It'd be an honor to show off. Thank you. And they're almost sold out, so people should be getting their tickets ASAP online. Yeah, because it's tonight. They're almost sold out. It's tonight. Doors are at 7. The show's at 8. And, hey, Kevin, thank you for taking the time. I really do appreciate it. Thank you. Bye, guys. We'll see you. Bye. Chances that he was serious. I think he was serious. There's no question. I don't know who Megan is. Do you? Jay does. You know who Jay does? Jay's looking at us like, I don't know who Megan is. Yeah, we're friends. I'll hook you up. No, I don't know. I have no clue. I know how to get it for you. I know how to get it for you. Meryl? Mm-hmm. You know who I do have? I bet I do have a contact information for him, so I'll get it for you. I'll drive you. I just want to sit on a set once. Because I want to sit, too. It's one time. I won't steal your thunder. I won't even talk. Nah. Then how will you sleep on the way home? is you keep the shank close to your chest and then when you walk by the guy, you just hand it off and you just shank and move, shank and move, shank and move. 50 grand. Listen to this. This says, it's a text that Jay gave me. He wanted me to read this. When Jay Isbell jumps in the swimming pool, Jay Isbell doesn't get wet. The pool gets Jay Isbell. Jay Isbell doesn't do, what are you doing? What's going on? I don't know. Holy cow.
Can I say this on the air? No. All right, I'll keep reading. Jay is bringing in fans of his to talk about his Chuck Norris facts. Right. Disguised as Jay Isbell facts. Right. Jay Isbell doesn't do push-ups. He pushes the earth down. That's the second time he's walked in to interrupt us for his facts. Yes. Jay Isbell's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd because... Nobody fools Jay Isbell. Except the dictionary. Get you. He didn't hear it. Which means it's okay. The written word, perhaps. English language. Don't know if you heard about Liza Minnelli, but Liza Minnelli was in the hospital. She hurt herself. Well, instead of me telling you the story, I will play you what happened.
Take a listen. Take care, Liza. Thank you. Liza, you tripped over your dog. That's right, darling. Yes, Liza. It was an easy mistake. Yeah, it happens. I mean, it does happen. He was black and he blended in with a couch. Okay, all right. How many martinis deep were you? Oh, you lose count at a point. You know, me and her used to be friends with us. I'm Michael Jackson. This is Michael Jackson. Remember, me and you were friends. Yeah, I used to carry you around in my purse. That's right. It's adorable. I liked your purse because we used to call it Noah's Ark because there was all kinds of animals living there. That's right. Two of a kind. That's right. Two of a kind. Every animal in the animal kingdom. Yes, and you would bring me olives right from my olive branch. Yeah, the only thing that was wrong, though, with the olives.
is that they had dust on them, and the dust would get in my nose. And what would you do then, darling? Tell the story. Just relive it for me. Oh, Liza, should I? Please, act it out. You don't have to. It's my favorite thing you do. You don't have to. You don't have to. Why, Liza, I'm so happy you asked me to do that. Oh, it's my favorite, honey, please. You don't have to. Hilarious. Thank you, Liza, for... You are just my favorite comedian. Thank you for letting me relive that story. It's like landing on Krypton. I could listen to it for hours. I bet you could too, Woods. What's the matter, Mr. Wood? Why don't you like that? Yeah, Wood, what's the matter? It's terrible. The way you treat him. Why do you hate Michael Jackson so bad, Wood? personal issues. It is. Don't persecute him. Yeah. He's innocent. Yeah, Liza. Liza is just as sweet and innocent as I am. That's right. You don't have a problem with Liza. You don't have to do that. You don't have to do it. Don't you grow. There you go. Keep going. Yeah, Woods. What's your problem, Woods? Woods song. Woods time. Woods time. Krypton.
It's kryptonite. Landing on kryptonite. Like a whole planet full of kryptonite. They dropped me off. Kryptonite is actually delicious. Just have to add a little vermouth. Oh my gosh. This is uncomfortable. I said earlier that I was going to play this for you and I didn't. So let me play it for you. Francis Ford Coppola. What did he say that upset so many people? The masterpieces is over with part three. There should have only been one. Francis Ford Coppola says there should have only been one Godfather. Whoa. He says there shouldn't have been a Godfather 2, and I can agree with him on Godfather 3. Never saw it. Dude, Godfather 2 won Best Picture. I saw two. I never saw three. Yeah, yeah. Oh, dude, it's terrible. I never even knew there was a three. Oh, yeah, there is. There is a three. Pacino, and, well, he was on all of them, but. De Niro. De Niro. Yeah. Well, he was in two. Yeah. Yeah. He was in two. Andy Garcia was in three. Yes. Yes. And three is bad. That's what I hear. But two is not bad. Two is great. It's widely considered to be the best sequel ever. And your dad's in it. Nurse. Nurse. Yeah, my dad is in the movie. Which is awesome. My dad's in the movie Godfather 2. And if you've never seen it, it's the Ellis Island scene. Oh, you tell me. When do I hit this button?
Ready to hit it? Now? No? No. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So listen. Ellis Island. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Alice Island. The very beginning of The Godfather 2. Can I put this on now? Here we go. Oh, thank goodness. All make sense in a moment. Will it? I put them on hold. Let me see. Let me see. Hello. Hello. Hi. You're live on the air. Hello? That was a check. Hi. Hi, yes. That was them. It was them checking. Okay, it's me. I'm here. Hello. Hi. There you are. Hi. I like your soundtrack. Guys, can you hear me? Hi, can you hear us? Yes, we can. All right. Thank you. Just stay on real fast. Okay. It was uncomfortable. The reason I was saying it was uncomfortable, Jay opens the door and a cameraman. All right, we're heading into another segment right now, so I'm going to try to figure out where we can squeeze you back in and keep you posted. Thanks.
A lot of squeezing to get him back in. Oh, Jay. Okay. Jay will take any opportunity. Let's get back to Thriller. He will take any opportunity to throw one of those in there. Well, I guess we can say now, right? I guess we have to. We can say. Yeah. Well, it was on. They showed you. They showed me on television. They showed me on television. I did. Yeah. I won the R factor. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, M1s. Thank you, M1s. That is so cool. And they brought a little trophy. Here's a big winner. That's a cool trophy. Yeah. The R Factor winner, Mikey Esparza, November 2011. It's really cool. It's a little microphone. It's golden. It's golden. And when they come back, they are going to be talking to me on the television. And also, a $100 gift certificate to Donovan's...
Prime Seafood downtown. And for this, by the way, I would like to give this to one of those families from Operation Santa. Yeah, one of the families that is in need for Operation Santa should get this. That'd be awesome. And I think I'll throw another hundred in on top of this so that somebody can go out to have a nice Christmas dinner. And the reason is because... I've been blessed, and I want to be able to give that back to the people from Operation Santa who've been doing such a great job. We will be right back, and we'll also be on television in a minute. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949Mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. The most anticipated annual concerts is back. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Presented by Coors Light. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the campus of USD. Featuring My Morning Jacket. Morning Jacket. Featuring Tudor Cinema Club. And Kim. Delta Spirit.
Lockout party. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus or FM949SD.com. The FM949 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optic. That's the sound of a fuse burning. As long as it's burning, there's still time to get to the BMW Mission to Drive sales event on now at your local BMW center. While you can, Take advantage of an up to $2,500 credit toward a new BMW. Hmm, those are real sparks. Test drive any model from the legendary lineup, including the all-new 6 Series, featured in the new movie Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol, in theaters this December. Technologically advanced and fuel-efficient, every BMW earns the title The Ultimate Driving Machine. That fuse is burning down remarkably fast. Take advantage of this immediately, as the $2,500 credit will soon self-destruct.
There. I made it with two inches of fuse to spare. Don't cut it that close. Come in today. Hurry into the BMW Mission to Drive sales event today for an up to $2,500 credit towards a new 2012 BMW. Visit SDCountyBMW.com slash finance for details. Channel 4, San Diego. Your home for Aztecs football. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle UNLV, 7 p.m. Saturday on Channel 4 San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego. Classic American nostalgia rolls into town when Good Guys returns to the Del Mar Fairgrounds. November 25th, 6th, and 7th. It's the Good Guys Fall Del Mar Nationals Car Show presented by McGuire. Three days of over 1,500 candy-cutter cars and trucks. Plus vendor exhibits, a mega swap meet, cars for sale, live entertainment, model car show, a way cool surf woody exhibition, the Tiger Screech and Good Guys Autocross, and so...
Get details and purchase your tickets today at good-guys.com. Get $3 off general admission when you bring a new unwrapped toy to the event in association with Toys for Tots and the Wounded Warriors program. It's human nature. You get a life insurance policy and put it out of your mind. Well, many term life insurance rates have come down over the past few years. Paying too much? There's an easy way to see. Call SelectQuote. Your SelectQuote agent will impartially shop select, highly rated term life companies and tell you if they can beat your price. For example, Max is 39. He quit smoking three years ago and is in great health. SelectQuote found him a 10-year... Half a million dollar policy for under $19 a month. Just call 1-800-700-2139. That's 1-800-700-2139. 1-800-700-2139. Or go to selectquote.com. Select quote. We shop. You save. Get full details on the example policy at selectquote.com slash commercials. Your price could vary depending on your health, issuing company, and other factors.
Not available in all states. What's two plus two plus two? Four. Because at Denny's, for just $4, you get two fluffy buttermilk pancakes, two eggs cooked to order, and two pieces of sizzling bacon or sausage. Yeah, we're open to new math. Start your day with a $4 everyday value slam from our 2468 value menu. Only at Denny's. America's Diner is always open. Prices and participation may vary. They say it's better to give than to receive. Well, at Navy Federal, we found a way to do both. With our new Navy Federal Visa Cash Rewards credit card, you can buy something nice for someone else and get cash back to spend smartly however you choose. And with low rates, no caps on the amount of rewards received, and no expiration on rewards, you get the most out of every dollar you spend. So now you can give a little and receive a lot with rewards that really add up. To find out more, visit NavyFederal.org. Are you looking for the absolute best place to buy a pair of high-quality, brand-name sheepskin boots or slippers, and at the best price? Boot World is San Diego's home of sheepskin, and I'm here to tell you why.
This is Ed Stone, president of Boot World. Boot World has the largest selection of the most popular, quality, brand-name sheepskin. Ugg Australia, Aussie Dogs, Stahikam, and Old Friend. You'll find a huge selection of all the classics and lots of unique styles to help you make your own personal statement without driving all over town. Plus, Boot World has carefully selected and priced our sheepskin boots and slippers to have the absolute finest product in each price range. This is quality that will be enjoyed for years to come. Boot World wants to help you get the sheepskin footwear you want, so don't wait. Come in now to Boot World while the selection of boots and slippers for men, women, and children are at their best. You'll find the sheepskin you want at San Diego's Home of Sheepskin. Boot World on Convoy in Kearney Mesa, Plaza Comino Real in Carlsbad, San Marcos, El Cajon, Chula Vista, Midway Drive, and bootworld.com. This can be the best holiday season ever. With 0% APR financing on the most awarded SUV ever, the Jeep Grand Cherokee. Standard 290 horsepower and more than 540 miles highway driving range. It's no holiday miracle. It's 0% financing at the Ram, Dodge, Chrysler, and Jeep Big Finish event. During the Big Finish event, lease the 2012 Grand Cherokee Laredo V6 4x2 for $309 a month for 36 months with $24.99 due at least signing for well-qualified lessees.
Tax, title, and license extra. Get to your local Jeep dealer today. Financing for well-qualified buyers through Ally Financial. Not all buyers will qualify. Based on awards vehicle segmentation. 16 city, 23 highway, EPA estimated MPG with 3.6 liter 4x4. Call 1-888-925-JEEP for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution at lease through Ally. Take retail delivery by 11-30-11. Ram, Dodge, Chrysler, and Jeep are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC. It is the season for large seedless holiday grapes, but you can't find them just anywhere unless you stop by Albertsons, where right now they're picked at peak freshness and piled high. Make your holiday fresh at Albertsons. All right. Okay, I'm here. We're going to go live on Fox 5. Hang tight real quick. Okay. This is like soothing massage music, just like what happened yesterday. With a soothing massage. You can listen to the music and it will make you feel better. Hello. Just a moment. We're going to go on live television. Yes. All righty. We have... All right. Stand by, Mikey. And we are looking at the Fox Sports Grill Camp high atop the Hilton Bayfront Hotel. Beautiful skyline there. San Diego. Okay. So we announced this earlier. Let us try this again. Take two. My man. Mikey. Hey.
How are you? There he is. Hi. No, we weren't doing a bit. Let's try it again. Yes. Mikey, are you there? I am here. Here we go. My man, Mikey. Hey. Oh, there he is. The R-Factor King, my friend. How does it feel? It feels good. It feels very good, and I'm very excited about it, and our listeners are real excited about it, and it's just really cool. Now, we understand you have in your possession right now the trophy. Yes. There is a trophy, and we really need to see. Oh, let's see it. There it is. That's gorgeous. That is something. You know, I got it about five minutes ago, and I was able to have it appraised. It is made of 14 karat solid gold. It's gold-plated or it's solid? No, it's solid gold. Oh, wow. Solid gold. It weighs 75 pounds. It weighs 75 pounds, and I understand this is worth three-quarters of a million dollars. Mahogany, mahogany. Mikey, we spare no expense when it comes to you, my friend. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. And you also received a $100 gift certificate to Donovan. Which I am going to be giving to a family in need.
Last week, we were talking about an organization called Operation Santa that finds families during the holidays that need help and assistance. And we're going to pass that on, and I'm going to throw in another $100 and let them go and enjoy something. This is why Mikey is our winner. Hey, guys. Hey, guys. No, no, no. And that's the thing. I also have to tell you, it isn't just me because the Mikey Show is nothing without the people that I have with me. Lauren O'Brien and Woodsy and Jay. Jay is my producer in the other room. And these are three of the most talented individuals on the planet. And the reason that the Mikey Show is popular. is because of these three talented people that I work with. That's right. Yeah, we agree 100%. Absolutely. And so I just wanted to make sure that you guys know that it isn't just me, it's these guys. I mean, it really is a collective deal, and I love them more than anything. Despite the Yankee hat. Well, here's the deal. Woodsy is a Yankee fan from way back, and he's got Yankee stuff everywhere.
We hear about the Yankees all the time, and he just loves the Yankees. What are you going to do? You know what, Mikey? Nice job. Nice little moment there. You're giving the Donovans a certificate away to a nice family and throwing in his own $100. You have earned your trophy, my friend. Thank you. You have earned the title of R-Factor radio guy. Congratulations. We're happy for you. Thank you. Let's get one last look. Hold it up. Yeah. There you go. It's hard to hold. It's hard to hold this thing with one hand. He's a jolly good bell. Yes, yes. One hand. You need help. Yeah. Here we go. There we go. Be careful. Be careful, Mike. Put that on your mantle. Thank you. Congrats, Mike. Thanks. It's awesome. Thanks, guys. It's a killer. Thanks. You're clear. Thank you. You're clear. Oh. Yes! Yeah. It's over. It's over. M1s, we love you. Who's a big, big winner? We love you, M1s. We love you. We love you, M1s. Thank you for doing that. M1s ever just take a challenge and run with it until it's the biggest, baddest thing ever? Knock it out of the park. Mike, I'm not sure if you heard me. Who's the big, big winner? I said big, big winner. You get it? Yeah, Mike, hello. I was just saying you're a big winner. What's that sound like? Yeah, Mike, what I'm saying is chubby.
Who's the chubby winner? I think of you passing up a meal as well. Hey, Mike, that's the biggest thing we've got to applaud, the fact you're giving up a meal. A whole paper meal. It's a meal. How are you doing that? Giving up a whole paper meal for this award. Big man. Oh, man, I'll tell you. Big, big, big winner. Mike, it's an honor working for you. And the reason is, you're giantly fat. I couldn't feel better about myself. If I worked with anybody else. That's right. I walk in, I go, God, I'm sexy. He makes me feel really handsome, really thin, really good dad, really good husband. Hey, other me, are you there? Other me. Yeah, I'm here. Hey, how you doing? I'm doing good. How you doing? You're looking good. Thank you. Of course I am. I'm me. How you doing? No, you're me. No, you. And I'm you. No, you're me. Hey, other me. Hang on a second. What are you doing? Other other me. I'm y'all. Oh, you're y'all. Yeah. Hey, there you are. I need to finish up this stop set of commercials. Okay, go ahead. Wait, wait, wait. I'll tell you what. You can do them all, and we'll be right back. All Firestone Complete Auto Care locations are open this Friday, November 25th, for all of your maintenance, repair, and tire needs. Call 1-800-LOCATE-US for the location nearest you. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9.
Holiday savings start right now at your Toyota dealer. Get 0% financing and save thousands on many of Toyota's best-selling models. Get zero APR on a new 2011 Prius or Corolla. Zero APR on a new 2011 Avalon, Venza, or RAV4. There's even zero APR on a new 2012 Tundra. We've got it, we've got it. We've got what it tastes in San Diego. So hurry. Holiday savings start now at your San Diego County Toyota dealer with great deals on a huge selection of fuel-efficient cars, tough trucks, and versatile SUVs. Save thousands with 0% financing on many of Toyota's best-selling models. It's the season for great selection and great deals. Offer excludes Prius V. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Vehicles must be purchased from new car dealer stock by midnight 12-5-11. Greetings. I'm Thomas Jefferson. My face is on the nickel. And I'm Abe Lincoln. I'm on the penny. As spokespeople for these coins, we want to put in our two cents. Six, actually. Oh, right. And tell you how easy it is to waive the monthly maintenance fee on a U.S. bank checking account. It just makes sense. Well played. To switch to the best national bank checking account and fight for your freedom. Hear, hear. Like free U.S. bank ATM transactions. Free internet banking. And free email and text alerts. High five.
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We can't say enough good things about the new 2012 Ford Focus, but two points are definitely worth repeating. 40 MPG, $169 a month. Yes, it offers available hands-free sync technology. 40 MPG, $169 a month. It has over a dozen class-exclusive features. 40 MPG, $169 a month. Its sleek new design will be the envy of your friends. 40 MPG, $169 a month. But all you really need to remember is that Ford Focus is one incredible car. 40 MPG. incredible lease payment. Just $169 a month for 27 months with $27.78 Do It signing. This offer won't last long, so hurry to your San Diego County Ford dealer. EPA estimate for highway mileage of Focus SE with SFE. Don't drive while distracted. Only use phones and other devices when safe. Not all will qualify for low mileage Ford Credit red carpet lease. Payments may vary. Dealers determine prices. Lessee responsible for excess wear and mileage over 23,625 miles at 20 cents per mile. Take retail delivery from dealer stock by 113011. Nissan presents the most wonderful sale of the year. Hurry in for great offers and big savings only during this special holiday sales event. Visit ChooseNissan.com or your local Nissan dealer today. And now back to the Mikey Show.
With Mikey. I know a lot of girly stuff. Woods. I've bathed myself a ranch. Lauren. I'm all about the discounts and the reviews. And Jay. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself. On FM 94.9. Love making time. That was on Ella B's special mix. Yeah, her wink mix. It was, but not anymore. Oh, you took it off? I had to make a new list because I didn't want all you guys to know. All us creeps. Yeah, because then every time we heard it, we'd be like, oh boy. Someone's getting it on. So she doesn't want us to know what her songs are. She's changed them. Yes. New set. What do you got on the new one? Woods has new release. Yes, sir. New release. Time.
The new Chris Cornell is out, Songbook, and it is tasty. It's him doing Led Zeppelin's Thank You. You too? Look at this idiot in here. Jay and L.O.B. don't like it? He sold more than seven records. How predictable? He'll get to the chorus and go on. You ever sound the same on every single thing you do? But it sounds nice. It's amazing. Yeah, I've heard it. Nobody sings like that, guys. Nobody. Better as a rocker, not as an acoustic artist. Oh. I love this. What? No, listen. Listen. I don't hate it. It's outstanding. That's awesome. The new Daughtry is out. Break the spell. Hey, Keith. Hey, listen. Hang on. Doing the Daughtry. He's doing, like, put up your dukes. Let's fight. The fist. The balled up fist.
I have always been a fan of pop music. Yep. So I hear pop. I like it. Yeah, no. I've always been a fan of pop music since I was a kid. Yeah, yeah. And there was a time when that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a music director and just pick songs that I thought would be hits. Because I love catchy hooks. I love that. The new Mary J. Blige is out. My life, too. Featuring Beyonce. Not over her. This is close. I looked ahead. Woods' boy, Chad Kroger. It's your boy from Nickelback. Woods' boy. Woods' boy, Chad Kroger. He is not straining as much as he usually does. Less poop voice. Which you've got to be stoked about since he's your boy. He's not my boy. See who has the most Nickelback songs on their iTunes.
I'll bet you $100 you do. He sounds more Christian now, Mike. Yeah. He sounds like Christian rock more. Which you are all the way in on. Hey, did I poo in your cereal and I don't know about it? The new Rihanna is also out. Talk that talk. What? Not a huge fan. Why are you wearing a Rihanna t-shirt? Yeah, but I have my hair exactly like Rihanna. Why do you have a Jamaican flag? It's Barbados. Barbados. Barbados? Yeah. Where's that? Barbados. It's not Jamaica. Barbados is in Barbados. No, it's their own country. It is? Yes. I've been there. I thought Barbados was like a destination. It is. Like Alcapulco in Mexico. It's its own country. Did it not? I didn't know.
Barbados? I thought she was from Aruba. I went to Barbados, and that's all you hear everywhere is Rihanna. She was discovered there by somebody. R. Kelly, maybe? R. Kelly or Nelly, something like that. Something with an L. That does it for you. Also out on DVD today is Super 8, Sarah's Key, and Carjacked. There you go. There they are. New release. Michelle Obama. And Jill Biden? They got booed. And I'll tell you where. Please welcome our grand marshals, Sergeant Andrew Barry and family, First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama, and Dr. Jill Biden, as they deliver the most famous words in motorsports. Gentlemen, it starts your evening. It was a NASCAR event. Keep it classy, NASCAR. Yeah, stay classy, NASCAR. Listen, I don't care.
I don't care what your political affiliation is. That's the first lady. Don't disrespect the first lady. Don't ever disrespect the first lady, man. It doesn't matter what your thing goes. Respect is a word that's not really in the NASCAR fans vocabulary. Whoa. Uh-oh. I'll tell you what. I said it. I'll bet you there was a couple of buds being drank up in that. Snipping those stands. Maybe some Schlitz. Yeah, a couple of Schlitzes. A couple of jerks rolled real good. Yep, yep. A couple of Keystone lights and a couple of coolers. In a beer helmet. Have you guys ever, have you ever been to a Nathcar? Nathcar? You ever been to a Nathcar race, Mike? Once. Once? I went once. No, actually, that's... Twice. Not true, I went twice. Surprisingly, I've never been to one. You haven't? Surprisingly. I went in Dallas. I went in Dallas to the Texas Motor Speedway. It's a great place. It is really nice. I went in Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan? California Speedway? Never been there. It's a good one. It's about a two and a half hour drive. Stopped by Oxnard. It was about 117 degrees and we drank about three cases of beer between three of us. So it was a really fun time. Sounds like an excellent one. It was fun. Susanna? I liked it. I liked it.
The only thing was, I felt if I could, I don't know, do it all again, I would make sure that there was some sort of protection over my ears. Because it was so... Oh, yeah, it's like headphones. It's sound. It's sound. It's so loud. It's noisy. It's noisy. It's so loud. Obnoxious. Obnoxious. Oh, it's like noxious gases everywhere. No, obnoxious. Oh, obnoxious. Obnoxious. Obnoxious. But let me state this for the record. When that thing starts and they say, start your engines, there's nothing like it. Wow, the hair on your arm stands up. It's amazing. It stands straight up. It's at attention. Send me some pictures. Seriously, do it. Yeah, I have so many pictures of my... Well, you know what it is? Last week, I downloaded probably 77 pictures. And...
It seems like all of them have gotten screwed up. I don't know what I think. There's something wrong with you. I have a virus. A virus. It's a virus. Suit. Suit. It's making me nuts now. Yeah. I watched a TED Talk the other day, and this guy was a brilliant scientist, but he had a lisp, and it was really, it's distracting. I feel like that. It'll get you. But good for him, for public speaking. No, Woods, no. The reason I'm laughing, Woods told a story. Last week? Yeah. I didn't tell it in the air. Gosh darn. I never got to tell it in the air. That got me. I was at a charity golf tournament, and these gentlemen kept hitting their ball into our group. No, no, no, no. Oh, not that one? No. No, you told this story. You told my story that I'm thinking of on the air. It was a guy. A boss you had? Yes. Oh. It's one of the greatest stories. What was it, dude? You had a boss. You had a boss, and you sent your boss.
A prospective? Yes, a prospective candidate. I was a recruiter, and he was in Long Island. And I called him, and he had a bit of a lisp. And so I said, well, how did the guy work? He was a total stud on paper. He's not going to work out with. And I said, well, why not? He goes, he's got a speech impediment. And I go, I go, really? And other than that, he looks great. His resume is good. His experience is good. The guy's a killer. I mean, he can sell. There's no question I can tell. But I don't want to send some guy out with a speech impediment. And I'm like, I got the phone, and I'm like beating it against the thing. Is that even legal, by the way? No, I think, but, you know, Texas. No, he was in Long Island. Oh, yeah. He was long on it. And I'm sitting there going, oh, my God. That got me so good. You're a manager. You're a manager. And he's like, yeah, the guy's really good. He just can't speak. I can't send that guy up a cell. And I'm like, well, how did he sell for companies X, Y, and Z? I don't care. The bottom line is I'm not sending that guy out there to make us look a fool. He's representing this company. And I'm like, all right. And it was.
It's by far the hardest market to recruit for in the country because it's Long Island. You're on an island. What? Are you serious? Are you serious with this? Why would you send me this guy? I was losing my mind. It's one of the greatest. How are you, Hill? Great. Yeah? Yeah. What do you got coming up? Silver Thumb Pickup. Silver Thumb Pickup. Good band. Mouncing Pumpkins. The throat. There you go. All good bands. Pretty good. Sublime. Sublime. Nice. Great band. What about Ambrothia? The lovely and talented Hillary is up next. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for the... Our factor winner! Mikey Show will be back tomorrow morning at 6. Get it.