The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/24/10
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Wednesday November 24, 2010
Mikey has to pee just as the show begins and the cast makes light of what they want to talk about with the host tending to his hose. Mikey’s troubles with finding his brother Steve at the airport escalate as Woods tries to shake him down. Mikey calls home, wakes Rebecca, and gets Jake to sing his three favorite songs. M1’s call in wanting to pick up Steve for free and “M1 Jame” volunteers his van for the task! Mikey says the government has no right to legislate parenting. TSA is now being piled on for not changing their latex gloves enough per pat down. Mikey calls his parents to get his dad’s opinion on Dancing with the Stars and boxing. The argument over who’s picking up Steve continues as Woodsy is the first person to “win Mikey’s money”! Mikey ends up on poopy diaper duty as Rebecca decides to go with Woods to the airport with the rest of the gang jumping on board and a hilarious inside joke is the result P1s er…I mean M1s! A day away from turkey day, the gang roasts Mikey real sweetly. The 7:30 segment has the huge announcement of Woods and Jamie getting approved for adoption with the pregnant mother living in Colorado and the baby’s gender still to be determined! Jamie calls in to give her thoughts and callers show their love and excitement to the Woods family. Woods implores M1s to keep cool as this is just the beginning stages and many of his own close friends haven’t been told yet. Congratulations you two, you’re going to be great parents! Mikey asks what big nervous announcements or embarrassing situations have you ever been through on Thanksgiving. LOB’s dad had to learn about her getting back with the BFMC from the Mikey Show podcasts. Creepy uncles seem to exist in every family and the cast perpetuates the family creep’s typical questions and observations. Mikey thinks that his brother bringing along his dog to visit is a big beating. Is there anything worse than…trying to make plans with LOB? Bloody noses? Missing leftovers? Jay and Woods discuss “trimming the brush to make the tree look bigger” and shaving is right for LOB’s knees. Mike calls his brother to finally settle the dog-for-dinner dilemma and the two reminisce about their many pranks and fights. The cast goes over their sibling brawls growing up. Jay upsets The Kid regarding Crazy Heart and Lauren begins the long painful process of the rooster removal. Tom Tom Tunes has a limp-wristed theme to songs not that her inflection even hints at this. Mikey and Woods continue their standoff about movies. Kings of Leon appears on live TV and Woods has a fanboy moment, and tells how he used the acoustic guitar to woo Jamie. Charlie Sheen’s lawyer considers him one of the greatest actors on the planet. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!
Bumper Music
1. SMASHING PUMPKINS: CHERUB ROCK
2. 10 YEARS: BEAUTIFUL
3. CATHERINE WHEEL: BLACK METALLIC
4. CHRIS CORNELL: SUNSHOWER
5. INCUBUS: WISH YOU WERE HERE
6. CARS: BYE BYE LOVE
7. BRYAN ADAMS: HEAVEN
8. SPOON: GOT NUFFIN
9. STP: STILL REMAINS
10. RYAN BINGHAM: THE WEARY KIND
11. TOM PETTY: REFUGEE
12. U2: RED HILL MINING TOWN
13. VAN HALEN: JAMIE’S CRYIN’
14. TEMPTATIONS: AIN’T TOO PROUD TO BEG
adoptionthanksgivingword of the daygobblelegolandhappy meal toy bangovernment parentingautism therapybrother airport pickupremote control habittattoo removaltsa screening
The show featured Mike's son Jake demonstrating his vocal progress on Switchfoot despite autism, while Mike and the crew debated the Happy Meal toy ban and government involvement in parenting. Later, Mike arranged for Woods to pick up his brother Steve from the airport for $80, sparking jokes about reimbursement. The highlight was Woods' emotional announcement that he and Jamie are adopting a baby, prompting congratulations from callers. Throughout, bits like the word‑of‑the‑day gobble, remote‑on‑the‑shoulder habit, and Lauren's tattoo removal added humor and personal flair.
What happened, in order
Jake sings Switchfoot
Four-year-old Jake sings Switchfoot's "Sing It Out" over the phone, showing his vocal progress despite autism.
Jake's autism progress
Mike discusses Jake's autism and how therapy at Rady Children's Hospital enabled him to sing and perform.
Word of the day gobble
The word of the day is "gobble"; callers who use it win a Mikey Show t-shirt and a four-pack of Legoland tickets.
Happy Meal toy ban debate
The crew debates San Diego's ban on toys in Happy Meals, arguing about government overreach versus childhood obesity concerns.
Brother Steve pickup money exchange
Mike reluctantly agrees to pay Woods $80 to drive and pick up his brother Steve from the airport, leading to jokes about reimbursement.
Woods and Jamie adoption announcement
Woods reveals on air that he and his wife Jamie are in the process of adopting a baby girl from Colorado, sharing their excitement and asking for privacy.
Remote on the shoulder habit
Jay and others describe their habit of placing the TV remote on their shoulder to avoid commercials, sparking a humorous discussion.
Lauren's tattoo removal
Caller Lauren describes her laser tattoo removal process for a rooster tattoo, noting the pain and number of sessions needed.
People mentioned
MikeMichaelWoodsJamieRebeccaSiennaJayL.O.B.NitaJakeSteve EsparzaBenJamesMean Gene
28,652 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
All right, you guys have to talk amongst yourselves because you have to go pee-pee. And the truth of the matter is that when nature calls, nature calls. Get out of here, then. Go. We don't need to hear about it. All right. Take pictures. Oh, so we've got the reins? You've got the reins. Here's what I would like you to do in my absence. What would you like us to do, Michael? I would like you to tell people what the word of the day is. Okay. And I would like you to tell people what's happening at 7.30. Okay. I got this. Just go. Can it be the Sienna show for a minute? All right, so let's talk about adult films. I saw one last night that you would not believe. I enjoyed it. Kama Sutra. Let's talk about Kama Sutra. Here, I'll show you what I learned last night. All right, he's gone. First, let's just get done what he said, and then we'll talk about it. Okay, hurry. Okay, so today you do not want to miss. Now, I'm telling you.
You do not want to miss 730 this morning. One of us on the show has a ridiculously huge announcement. I mean, it's a huge announcement. One of those monumental moments on the Mikey show that you do not want to miss. You're going to download this podcast later. It's going to be big. 730 this morning. Also, the word of the day today is gobble. Oh, perfect. I was waiting for it for Thanksgiving, which is obviously tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. And the Mikey-thon. Yeah. December 16th and 17th is the Mikey-thon. We'll be broadcasting for 28 straight hours. No commercials. No songs. We'll be taking naps. No naps. No naps. Allegedly. No naps. You're going to use the baby bed, aren't you? I have to use the baby bed at some point. I'm breastfeeding. I need to figure it out. But no, no, I'm going to try and do it all 28 hours. I think the baby's actually going to be here for most of the time. Awesome. Yeah. Wow, that's cool.
We'll see. I'm going to get Todd like a little room. And Holiday Hootenanny. Yeah, Black Keys. Black Keys. Tokyo Police Club, Against Me. And The Temper Trap. And The Temper Trap. And that's December 11th, Saturday. Yes. December 11th. Tickets are on sale. We're all going, aren't we? $40. We're all going. All of us are going. I'm in. I'm getting a babysitter. Nice. I'm actually in. This is one you don't want to miss. Big time in. UCSD. Yep. Post party at the kids' house. Really? For everybody? For everybody. I'll open it up right now. I'll tell you. This will be Motley Crue-esque. Yikes. That's going to be rash. I'm going to jump off your house and scream, I'm a golden guy. Absolutely. Jay, what do people get for the word of the day? Which, again, is gobble. It's a Legoland four-pack and a Mikey. show t-shirt, brand new Mikey show t-shirt. So you want to listen for Mikey to work and gobble into a sentence at some point today. Colin, you're going to get hooked up with that. Holla. Holla, now he's back. Did you wash your hands? No. You didn't wash your hands, did you? No, I didn't. I have hand gel. It's right there by your Michael Shannon mug. I used to date a girl that when she went pee-pee, she didn't.
And her thing with me was, I didn't touch anything. Right. You touch the bathroom stall, you touch the door to go in. At her own house. Where other people were touching it. I agreed with her. I mean, I said, I realized you didn't touch anything, but just out of like, just out of common decency. Cuth? Yeah, cuth. A little cuth? Have a little cuth? Just out of cuth, you should wash your hands, even though I just didn't. Get that gel out. This is repugnant. Does it stink? That hand gel? No. Does it smell like a girl? Stop whining. Stop whining. Smells like a girl, I bet. DBB. It doesn't at all. DBB, Mike. It smells great. It smells like orange, tangerine. It does not. It doesn't smell like a girl. We need to get some of that. This is the best hand sanitizer, germ blaster, totally tangerine, and I can't find it anywhere. Totally tangerine. It smells exactly like a girl, in fact. I'm going to go clean off the door handle that Mike just took. Hello, B. I don't think it smells like a girl. It does. In a feminine way. Yep. You think? You smell like you're wearing perfume. Oh, man. I just wiped your piece off the door. Thank you very much. Woods, do you wash your hands? Yes. Be honest. Yes. Be a complete honest person. Yes. With soap.
No. I'll run him under the water and dry him. That's what I usually do. He's like a dog. He just licks his hands. How about you girls? When you go to the number one here in the building? In the building, always. Be completely honest. No one will judge you. soap or do you just water? No, I use soap. There's no point in doing it if you're not. To me, it's more because I touch the door handles and stuff like that. But you're going to wash your hands and then dry them and then touch the door. They put a trash can right next to the door so you can open the door with a paper towel. Or you have sleeves. Yeah, use your sleeve. Why would you go through the effort though of washing your hands, getting them wet, then you have to dry them if you don't use soap? Because I just want to feel. like I've done something. And that's the truth. I'm not actually running my hands under the water for anything that has to do with cleanliness, anything that has to do with hygiene, or anything that has to do with germs. I am simply running my hands under that water so that I can feel.
like I'm not a pig. Yeah. That's the only reason I do. You like to trick yourself. Yeah. It's like when you used to brush your teeth with no, you just run the toothbrush onto the water. I did that. I did that. One or two little things when I was a little kid. When you're little TV. You're supposed to sing happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, while you wash your hands so you get through this whole song I think twice. Which I think is so ridiculous. They say that if you're washing your hands properly you get through all of happy birthday to me. Twice. Twice? Yeah, those people are called obsessive compulsive. Will, who was the phone screener yesterday, is not going to be able to pick my brother up from the airport. And I had a fresh 60 for him to do it. Wow. 200. He said he would take it for 30. You doubled it for him. That's really nice of you, Mike. Yeah. Woods said he would do it for 100. I looked. I started to go get my wallet and he goes $150. He would do it for $100. No, I know he's in a pinch now. It's called negotiation. This is what you do. Yeah, I guess. I fundamentally cannot see paying that much money. But you would spend a lot more than that if you hired someone real to go pick him up. I think you could do cloud nine for less. I think it's only like $60 for cloud nine. Don't you have to share with people? Don't you share and they have to make other drop-offs first? Yeah, he would kill me.
He'd kill me. Yes. He'd kill me. And he'd have good reasons. A hundred percent. That's not nice. What if you sent a limo? What if I sent a limo? It's not that much more. How much? I don't know. Who cares? Who cares, Mike? This is money. But I know it's not that much more. Yeah, it is. Listen, I like. There's limos that wait at the airport. I like Steve. Steve's, he's a friend and he's a fun dude. Yeah. I'll do it for $150. You're such a jerk. You're such a jerk. I'll do it for $150. He can rent a car for nothing. You can rent a car. It's a beating. It's a beating. No, it's so easy. Jay, getting off of an airplane, getting your luggage, and finding the rental car place in and of itself, because no one knows where it is. It's right. Unless you know the place, no one knows where it is. It's one of the desks. They have desks set up at the bottom of, in the airport. You don't have to go anywhere. It's not like how it used to be. Let me ask you a question. When you rent the car right there, and you say it's easy, which you believe you're a bunch of liar faces and your pants are on fire. It is easy. It's so easy. You're saying, okay, you rent the car. Do they hand you the key and you walk right out the front door and it's parked right there? You get on a shuttle. It's a 10-minute drive. Really? Yeah. How hard is it? Forget it. It's a pain. It's a pain. I think cars are going for, you can get a cheap car for like $36 a day or something. Here's the deal. Yeah, it's pretty cheap.
hometown, and your family is like, I'm not going to get you, man. You're going to have to grab a car. You're like, I prefer to have my own car. Screw you guys. Let me just explain. Why? We live in North County. The airport is in downtown. Yeah. He arrives at 730 at night the day before Thanksgiving. It's a nightmare. Nightmare. It could be worse. What do you have in your wallet? It could be like five. I have $60 that I got for Will. You come up with another fresh $40, and I'm all over it. He's reaching in his wallet to see if he has it right now. Yeah, you're going to regret this, Wood. Am I? Mike, I just think that you should go get there early. You and Rebecca go have a nice dinner downtown. Mike only has three 20s. Oh, he's still searching. I bet some of the guys in promotions would do it. I just said I'll do it. Shut up. I'm trying to save Mike a little money. 60 is just not going to cut it. It's not worth my time. I also live in North County, so there you go. I know. It's far. Mike, how bad is this? Take the wife, go have a nice early dinner downtown? We can't. Why? Three kids. Yeah, you have Nita. We can have kids at dinner. Bring the kids. Yeah. We can't. Those three at dinner. Plus, you know what the other thing? Like, you know, when I have dinner with my wife.
I love her. You take what the options are and you narrow it to about two. If it were up to me and you were my wife, Sienna, and I don't even know if you'd go for this, I'd say, we're downtown. Let's go to Monsoon. It's the best Indian food on planet Earth. It's the best Indian food. It's a nice restaurant. You walk in, it smells beautiful. It's beautiful furniture. It's high end. It's like a high-end restaurant. You walk in there and you're like, you would think that you were at a restaurant that's like in New York City that's like real expensive and classy. That's what you'd think walking in there. The only difference is they serve Indian food. The best Indian food. There's two great Indian food places, Royal India Downtown and Monsoon. They're both state-of-the-art. Yes, write it down. They're real good. But my wife...
Would gag if I even suggest she would go. What would she like? Like a grilled cheese somewhere? Yeah, she would like to go to In-N-Out. Tater tots. And she gets, this is my wife's order at In-N-Out. A number two with no tomato and no beef burger. So it has cheese and a bun. And lettuce. And lettuce and onions. Special sauce. Sounds good. That is boring. That's what I get. What if you went to Dick's Last Resort? That's kind of right up your alley. That's right down. It's not up my alley. It's down my alley. I don't. No way. You know what my other choice would be? Ocean Air. Best seafood in America. Love Ocean Air. You should never eat there. Donovan's. It's too expensive. What about the W? They have a nice restaurant in there. Rice? No. Rice. Go to Extraordinary Desserts. What about Pizza Hut? That place is bomb. Rebecca likes good desserts, doesn't she? Take the kids out. Family night. Can't. Oh, my gosh. Are you suggesting taking three kids out? Yes. Oh, Woods, you're insane, man. You're insane. That's like a stunt. Like I said. A stunt. That's like extreme sports. Come up with another 40. Stop it. And I'm on it. I'm on it.
Like, white on rice, pal. And then you've got to take them to my parents' house. You could pay Woods $60 to watch the kids, and then you could go get them. I'd watch the kids for free, but they would never let us. If you and Jamie went, I bet they would let you. Listen, I'm tired. I know. I'm mentally... I'm tired. You're going to be picking your brother up. And I've got to go up to North County today, and I've got to record a VO, a voiceover, up in North County today. Have fun, man. I'll be on the couch. I'll be on the couch. Thanksgiving spirit. Where is the joy? Your brother's coming to town. I will tell you this. This is a true statement. If any of you here on the show were traveling with me so that I could have a companion to go there, I hate to be by myself. What if you just brought Jake? No. Because we can't have an adult conversation. He's only four. He's only four. You can have an adult conversation. No, he will only talk about, like, yo, Gabba Gabba. Well, talk to him about that, and then he'll feel really included. It's not enough. It's not enough for me. I will want to go. I'll say to him, this is what I would want to do. I would want to go, hey, bub, did you know that your Uncle Mark said to me this morning that he's shocked that the evidence is in front of me?
that President Obama is doing a good job. You know what? I want you to bring Jake, and I want you to say exactly that, and I want you to record it, because I'd love to hear his reaction, and we'll play it on Monday. It'll be a bit. Adult conversations with a four-year-old. Yes! That's brilliant! Either that or get a book on tape. Let's see what would happen if I... He should be awake. Let's see what happens if I call him and I tell him that. Bubz? He's up at this early? He is now. Good boy. He should be, because... They get up at this time. Luke's passed out. Luke is out. Calling Jake's iPhone. The iPad. You ever see a kid cry when he can't have the iPad? It's pretty funny. Yeah, when you first got yours, you were crying. That was me. I'm talking about me. I make Rebecca record the machine. If they don't pick up, you'll hear her. Hi, this is... Sorry we're not available to answer your call, but please leave a message and we'll call you back. Very professional. I know. Hi, babe. Hey, sweetie. Hi, hon. Hi, hot stuff. I didn't want to go, hey, this is Mikey from The Mikey Show. If you've reached this number in error, you now have my phone number. Feel free to call any time of the day or nighttime. You didn't want to just leave the standard, like, please leave a message after the phone. Shut up. Try your cell phone.
That's how I am. Maybe she's sleeping? No. It doesn't matter. She's sleeping. She is. I'm just going to listen. I'm just trying to be dynamic. Hello. Hello. Quietest voice. Hi, baby. Hi. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. I was just calling the house phone, but I couldn't get through. Oh. Are you sleeping? She's sleeping. Were you sleeping, baby? We're monsters. We're monsters. Not we. Mike's a monster. I love you, my love. Is Jakey awake? Yeah, he just woke up, too. Can I talk to him? When the phone rang? Yeah. Okay. That's a good wife. Somebody called the house and woke up. Hi, bub. Hey, daddy. Yeah? Is quiet downstairs? I don't think so. Not today, bub. Nita is. Nita's downstairs. Hey, bubs.
Yeah, she's probably sleeping. The world is sleeping. I woke everybody up. Hey, Jakey. Did I tell you that Uncle Mark, your Uncle Mark, had the audacity to say to me this morning that he can't believe that in light of the evidence that is there, that I still refuse to believe that President Obama is doing a good job. Bubba. He's laughing hysterically at that audacious claim. Bub. What did you think about that? What do you think about that, Jake? What? What Uncle Mark said, that he thinks that Obama's doing a good job. Uncle Mark? Yeah. He's doing a good job. He's doing a good job. He's doing a good job. Uncle Mark. See, this is what it would be like going to the airport. Hey, Jakey. Jakey. That's Uncle Woods, Bub. It's Uncle Woods, buddy. How are you? Good night. Hi, Curfee. What are you doing?
I'm good. Are you curfy? Yeah. He loves it. Look at you. Jake Whisperer, man. A little curfy. I love you, Bubbas. Hey, can you sing a song for us? Yeah. Please. Which one, Daddy? Which one? You pick. Not that one. Which one? Which one do you want to do? I think Rebecca's... Giving him some lines. She's probably telling him. Oh, yeah. All right, let's hear Twinkle. Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle. How I wonder what you are. Good job. Hey, Bubba. Bubba, I want you to do a switch foot song. What? Will you do this? This is the start.
These are the stars. Do... Okay, do... Which one? No, Woods on Sports. Yes! Alright, sing Woods on Sports. Okay. Woods! Woods, Woods! Woods, Woods! Oh my goodness. My heart is just melting. What is that Switchfoot song? Oh man. Always? It's the other one that he really... This is the sound. Bubba, what's that Switchfoot song that you like? No. I heard him do that song. Hi, Kirby. Oh, my gosh. This is my four-year-old, Jakey, on the phone. We're just having a good time because it's day before Thanksgiving. I'm done talking. Oh, I'm done talking. No, no, no. Bubba, Bubba. Wait, wait, wait. Bye-bye. I love you. No, no, no. I found it. Sing it out. Sing it out, Bubba. Do sing it out.
It took me too long to find out. He did really good on the girl for that long. He did great. Oh my goodness. He did so good, babe. Ask him if he'll do Sing It Out. He's thinking. Will you sing Sing It Out? What? Will you sing Sing It Out? Okay. Yes, he says yes. Okay. Yeah, sing it out, Bubba. Will you do sing it out? I'm on the run. Yeah! That was beautiful. Bubba, that was great, Bubba.
That was great. I love you, Bubby. I love him. I love you, Bubby. I love you. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Happy Thanksgiving. Kid's got tears. Let me play for you. He just woke up and he did that. What a stud. He's a morning person. He's a morning guy. This is what he was singing. He loves this song. Who doesn't? Yeah, it's a jam. It's so funny because he doesn't even know those words that he's saying. I like his cadence. He waits. He's so good. Isn't that cute? He's so great. He did such a good job. He may have sung it better. He's so good. Honey, thank you for being patient with us. Of course.
I love you. I love you. Happy Thanksgiving. All right, hon. Oh, you're so lucky, Mike. Oh, my gosh. He is just the sweetest thing. He's poor. I know it. He has the word. I'm telling you, man, hearing him do that and hearing him respond like that, you know, a year ago, he wasn't capable, and that's why I'm so passionate about Rady Children's Hospital because Jake is autistic. I mean, if you've never listened to the show before, He's autistic, but you'd never know it. You'd never know. He's very high-functioning, and they did such cool stuff with him. I mean, he never could have done that. Now he's a little performer, you know? So good. I've been over there when the therapists are over there working with him, and I just kind of watch. I say hi to Jakey and give him a hug and whatever, and then I just kind of watch their interaction with him. It's...
mind-boggling. It really is. And to see how they can get him to do stuff that normally he probably wouldn't be able to do. Yeah. Just, it's such a testament to what they can do. It's awesome. They're awesome. People are, a lot of people are calling in, want to say happy Thanksgiving. M1 Mean Gene all the way from Georgia. What's up, brother? You put me on the air. I can't follow that. That's funny. Come on. Sing, sing, sing. Yeah, you got to sing it out. Sing Sweet Home Alabama. Well, I'm from Georgia. I don't like Alabama. Oh, okay. How you doing, man? Man, I'm doing fantastic. I want to say first thanks to Woods for wishing me a happy 25th birthday. You're welcome, buddy. Yeah. Welcome to my neighborhood. I just felt bad because Woods called me out on Facebook. I haven't called in lately, apparently. I got to call in more often. Yeah, you do. I said, where you been, man? We miss you.
Yeah. As it turns out, I'm in college, so I have class. That's more important. Why don't you call us sometime when you have no class? Yeah. Call us when you have no class. I went to college. I didn't always go to class. Come on. Actually, I really didn't think about it. I think I'm going to call you guys one time while I'm in class. I really decided on it. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm sure your professor will like that. Can we feed you lines to say out loud in class and you just leave your phone on? Does a zebra have stripes? That'd be odd questions to ask. That'd be genius. Hey, Mean Gene, have a great Thanksgiving, bro. Have a Thanksgiving, guys. All right, we'll see you. M1 Ben is calling in from La Jolla. Are you there, Ben? You got it, buddy. What's going on? Not much. How are you guys doing? Good. Great. Hey, I heard you guys talking about picking up your brother from the airport the last couple days, and I figured I'd call up and volunteer to do so. Oh, my goodness. Taking one for the team. Michael Esparza. We were saying, you know, imagine. You have a stranger now offering. Yeah. Imagine that my brother gets, because I told my brother about it last night. I said, hey, kid from the radio station is going to pick you up. Is that cool? He said, yeah. And so imagine he gets in the car, and he's like, hey, how are you doing? He's like, my name's Ben.
Hey, how? I am Steve. And Steve goes, so what do you do for the station? And Ben's like, oh, I don't work for the station. I listened to it. I was on line four. You guys don't pay interns, do you? We do not. Me neither. Well. Nice guy. He's like, stay on hold and I'll get your number. Very, very nice of you. Very nice of you to offer. But my brother. I got a big fat Mercedes and a big toe. Yeah. Guys are always funny in the mornings. It's a way of you giving back, you know? Thanksgiving, you know? You can give me a ride, Ben. Whoa. Oh, wow. In your car. In your car. All right. Hey, thanks a lot, Ben. My brother would kill me if I did it, but thank you. Okay. All right, man. We'll see you. So nice. Mikey Show. Hello.
Really? Who is this? M1 James. Otherwise known as M1 Buffalo Bill. James Gumb. Just got to get that couch out of your van first. I don't know who Buffalo Bill is. I hope they catch him though. It sure is terrible, isn't it? It's terrible. I stuff it up with Frederica Bimmel. Do you know Frederica Bimmel? Isn't she like a great big fat... She sure is. Anyway. I think that's about right. Help me out with, you know, getting some couples into my van. Oh, my God. Creeper. I'd be willing to give him a raggedy reel. Love kills me. Think about it. I'd be happy to do it. He'll be at the airport, so. All right, no problem. I'm going to take my dog, precious. Let me pick up some lotion on your way to the airport. Oh, that's a great idea. I hope he's not afraid of mobs. There's nothing creepier than that laugh. That's so weird. Oh my gosh, he's so weird. He's so weird. Let's see. Okay, so...
We have so much to do. We have so much to do. Do we? We do. Let's see. Let's play this. Play the live version of Switchfoot. The sound when they were in the studio. This is the sound. This is the sound. I walk around my house doing that as loud as I can. My wife's like, oh my God. The TSA. People are upset with something brand new with the TSA. Weird. I know it. And they have identified the jawbone that they found in Aruba. Is it or is it not? Natalie Holloway. The answer is coming next, we'll tell you. And they crowned the winner of Dancing with the Clowns last night. Yeah, they did. Yesterday, a NFL quarterback was asked to leave the team's facility, was escorted out.
who and why next on Woods on Sports. And Woods is also going to tell you all three games on tomorrow, on Thanksgiving. And he's going to tell you what time they're on. And today is Wednesday, November 24th, and we are in the studio. Lest people think that we are on vacation, we're not. We're working right up to Thanksgiving. We're here, and we're ready to talk to you. Call us, 570-1949. And if you're an M1 that I know, And you'd like to make $60. The hard way? Who did you think? Carrie Underwood. I was Carrie Underwood. That's a good guess. I love Archangels. Nice. But you don't like Stevie Ray, right? I respect him, but I'm not going to throw his disc on Jam Tone. I did, however.
Drag my amp and electric guitar out last night while my wife was trying to do some work and turn it up as loud as it would go and pretended that I was in the deftones and played as loud as it would go. That's not annoying. While she was just sitting there looking at me like, you're an idiot. Full on jumping around, jamming. Imagine if she did that when you were trying to do... When I was doing finger quotes work, writing hoyle bits. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Get out of here! The look that she gave me was like, this is my husband. This is the man I married. The look that she gave you was, what size knife am I going to need to split his throat in his sleep? He's 35 years old. Word of the day is gobble. And so when you hear us, work the word gobble into a sentence. Caller number nine at 570-194-9. will get a Mikey Show t-shirt. They're brand new. And you'll also get a four-pack of Legoland tickets. Good until Christmas Eve. And that's worth $316. So really, really good stuff. Great. We're going to tell you who got kicked out of the training facility yesterday in the NFL and why. And Woodsy's also going to tell you about the games that are on tomorrow, what time they're on, all that stuff. Real informed. Very informative today. And we're going to be...
One of us today, either myself, Woods, L.O.B., Sienna, or Jay, is going to be making a very, very big announcement at 7.30 this morning, and it will involve our significant other. No matter who it is of us, it will involve our significant other who will be on the line at the time. Let's see. San Francisco got a... Veto from the mayor of the city. Yeah. What's his name? Mayor Gavin Newsom. Gavin Newsom. Sharp cat. Very. More than likely. He vetoed something and they overturned it. Yep. Who, the city council? The board of supervisors. Yeah, tell everybody what it is. They want to ban toys in Happy Meals.
Not just at McDonald's at all fast food places because of the obesity, childhood obesity in the United States. They want to do something about it, which is great. But they want to take all the toys out of Happy Meals because they say, you know, it's like it's like bribing kids to eat this fattening food because it comes with a toy. It's an incentive. Right. Exactly. So the mayor said, no, this is ridiculous. And the board of supervisors had so many people on board with it that they could override him. And they officially approved the ban. It goes into effect December 1st. I could not be more fundamentally against something. It's sickening to me. It's sickening to me that the government will tell you how you raise your kids and what you do. Now, listen, I'm not for giving my kids McDonald's, but if I want to every once in a while, that's my right. They love the toys. They love the toys, whatever. It's just I don't like government getting into the way. that we are parenting. Well, but you've got to look at the long-term effects, too. So once the kid starts off being obese and then goes into adult obesity, and then all of a sudden... There's no argument. I mean, you're right. I mean, listen, there's no argument about obesity. Everybody believes that. What I don't believe in is the government getting involved with how or how I don't structure that myself. That's my job. Jay, because isn't it up to the parent?
I mean, the kids aren't strolling in with their $4 on their own. But at some point it ends up with health care. Well, yeah, exactly. It's like the number one health problem in kids. And the awareness hasn't done enough. Education, yeah. But here's what's interesting, right? Let's see how it really is. All they're doing is they're taking the toy out of the Happy Meal. The food is the same. The food's not changing at all. But the whole reason the kid wants to go is for the food. I mean, for the toy. For me, it doesn't matter. It's the principle. Don't legislate parenting. A mom that wants to give her kid McDonald's seven days a week. can still give her kid McDonald's seven days a week so she chooses. But they're probably saying that she shouldn't be allowed to because it could be considered child abuse. I agree. It can be considered child abuse if a kid is obese to a certain point. Yeah, I agree with that. But I think if you take the toys out, the food is the bad part, not the toy. The whole reason, like Jasper, he always wants to go just because of the toy. I want Happy Meal. Man, I wanted to go because of the burger. My thought is, don't legislate the way I parent.
Don't tell me what I do with, you know, it's the government. See, the philosophy of a conservative is keep the government out of it. Let us decide, you know, for ourselves. I'm with you. I'm with that, yeah. But education doesn't seem to be working either. That's true. And the reality is that the government is picking up the bill on these adult obesity cases. There's new regulations now, too. You can have a toy, but it has to meet the health standards. What's the latest thing that we're upset with with the TSA? The fact that they're wearing these latex gloves and they're touching hundreds of people without changing gloves, which can move germ to germ to germ people, you know? They're not rubbing my eyes and picking my nose and sticking their fingers in my mouth. They've been in crotches, armpits, you know, stuff like that. Bed bugs. Bear crotches. Bed bugs. Bed bugs. Good point. Guys. Grow up. Are people mad at the seats on the airplane? Yeah. Because the seats on the airplane. They hold fat guys. They hold skinny old women. They hold gross kids. I could be more mad at the seats on the airplane. Right. As a matter of fact. What are you going to do? Grow up. Grow up. You grow up. Good God. That's stupid. People ever just complain? They love to. People ever just want to be politically correct? Come on. It's almost like it's a fad right now. It is. It is. Against the TSA. People just, they're going to do whatever they can. They're going to find any angle they can to get them out of there. These pad downs banned, you know. It's the new hot thing.
out on the TSA. It's very chic. Yeah, I wonder if terrorists like that or don't like that. I just actually saw a flash on the news that they're saying flight attendants don't need to go through the scanners anymore. Flight attendants don't need to go through the scanners? I'll look into it, but I just saw breaking news. Flight attendants don't need to. Breaking news. People have made such a fuss. We're getting rid of checking people altogether. You just get on the plane now. Roll the dice. Hey, listen, I could not be more in agreement that it is such a bad idea. What about my rights? I don't want you to feel my body. It is like sexual assault to me. Come on. Listen, Jugdash. Stop it. Don't want to go through this. They found a jawbone in Aruba. They were thinking that it could be Natalie Holloway's. Yeah, well, they found this about two weeks ago. A tourist on Aruba found it. They turned it in. Now they're doing tests to find out first if it was a human or if it was an animal. It turns out it was a human, which made Natalie Halloway's parents, you know, like thinking, finally we may have closure. Sure.
It was not Natalie Holloway's jawbone. They don't know who it is. The presence of the wisdom tooth ruled out that it was hers. So they're going to do some more research to find out because, you know, there's other missing people out there to see if it belongs to anyone. M1 Cave Dweller from Wisconsin. You there? Morning, Mikey. Good morning. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Thank you. I would like to introduce you guys to the concept of institutional contradiction. Okay. Now, with the McDonald's story, banning the high-fat food for your kids, now, I understand that people don't want to be told how to parent, but so far, we've been acting as consumers and not participants. We should have been going after McDonald's for a long time saying, hey, listen, take the toys out of the thing. Stop advertising like this toward my kid. And we haven't done that. And people are all up in arms about, government getting in and saying, hey, this isn't right, and you shouldn't be able to do this. But we have no problem with large multinational corporations advertising to our kids and selling products that are unhealthy. Yeah, I don't have a problem with people writing to McDonald's. And, you know, honestly, Cave Dweller, I don't know that they haven't. And neither do you. Neither of us know.
No, but no one has raised enough of a stink that McDonald's has changed their practices. So I think that the people who are complaining are few and far between. Why don't we do this? Why don't we do this? Why don't we let, what's his name, make another movie about McDonald's? What's the guy's name? Michael Moore? No. The Super Size Me guy? Yeah, I can't remember his name. He was great. Yeah. You know, my deal is, it's not the government's. place to be keeping toys out of stuff and getting involved in our lives in that way. What we understand is that we need to be a function of the government. We need to make the government our representatives again instead of treating the government as this nameless, faceless entity that just shows up to bother us all the time. Fair enough. It shouldn't be that way. Alright, Cave Door. Hey, I appreciate the call, man. That's what? I appreciate it. Smart filler. Dancing with the Stars last night? The finale. Yeah, it was a big deal. Big to do. The finalists were Bristol Palin, Jennifer Grey, and Kyle Massey. And the winner was? Let's play you the audio from last night's show. Kyle and Lacey. Jennifer and Derek, after 10 weeks of hard-fought competition, the winners and new champions of Dancing with the Stars are... Jennifer and...
Jennifer Grey from Dirty Dancing. Yeah, and her partner Derek Hough. Go figure. This is his third trophy. Is it really? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah, she had numerous injuries throughout the season. So she was like, I can't believe I competed and I did it and I pulled through. I can't believe I'm a semi-professional dancer. It's ridiculous. I know. You're on Dirty Dancing. You can do the lift. It's in the name. I know. It's in the name. All right. In another family move, I will now call my father. Oh, yeah. Who watches Dancing with the Stars. I just want you to know that Mikey has to look up his dad's phone number on his phone. I do because I just hit the button. How does he answer the phone again? Hello. Hello. Hello. Might be my mom answering. How does she answer? Hello. Hello. My mom goes, hello. Hello. Hello. Mom? How you doing? Good. How about you? I'm good. Is dad there? Yeah. Let me talk to dad.
He has very strong opinions about Dancing with the Stars. She's so happy. Okay, he's going to his phone. Okay. It's his phone because it's amplified. Oh. So he can hear. Got it. Dad is 74 years old. Loves Dancing with the Stars. Strong opinion. And he will not say, I love you. He'll say, I love you guys. I love you. At the end of the call. Let's try. Believe me, I will. How are you? You're on the radio, so don't say any bad words. I never say. I know it. I say that to you because I know it gets you. How are you doing, Pop? I'm doing okay. Do you know why we're calling? No, I don't. We're calling because last night was the finale of Dancing with the Stars. Oh, yes. And I know that you are a fan of Dancing with the Stars. Yes, I am. Okay, so Jennifer Grey won. Do you agree with that decision? Yes, yes. Why? Very elegant. All right. Very smooth.
and she's a good dancer. Now, was she your choice all along? Do you mean Bristol? Brandy is the singer. She got eliminated like a week ago. I shouldn't even question her because he knows. He watches the show. You mean Brandy. Right, I like them both. And what were your thoughts on Bristol Palin? I thought she made great progress, but I didn't think she was as smooth as the others. She went a long ways. Now, Dad, this is the, how many times, Sienna, that this guy, the dancer? Her partner, Derek Hough, has won. This is his third time. He knows. Third time. Yeah. Third time, yeah. So, Dad, do you think that maybe it's unfair because it seems like this guy is so good that he's helping him win, no? Well, that's part. Cheryl is a great dancer.
and a good teacher. She's another one of the teachers on the show. And she's won. She's won numerous times. How many seasons have they had? She's won twice. How many seasons have there been, Dad? I think this was the 11th. Oh, wow. What? Really? What about Mom? Did she see it last night? No. I woke her up and she couldn't stay up. It was for her. But there was no way you were going to miss it. No, I love dancing with the stars. That's right. It was a finale. Were you a dancer in your day? No. Oh, no, no. Not at all? No, you know, I tried to dance, but nothing like that. Because my dad was a literal disco dancer. He was a DJ at a disco, and he was a disco dancer, so he probably likes it, too. Oh, wow. I thought maybe that was your bit, too. No. You know, I like to dance.
Who doesn't? All right, then there's one other thing that my dad is an expert on. It's boxing. Did you hear my mom? She said, Danny, we won a dance contest. Oh, they did? Did you really, Dad? No, I can't remember winning a dance contest. Of course she does. She does. She remembers. So, hey, Dad. Yeah? You didn't see the Pacquiao fight, right? Well, I saw it after it had happened. And what are your thoughts on the Pacquiao fight? I think he's great. I think he's a great fighter. Yeah. I think Pacquiao's one of the best we've ever had. Nice. Like, of all time? Yeah, one of the best we've had in all times. Look at all the belts he's won. Yeah. He started at about 97 pounds. You ever heard him sing, Dad? I've heard him sing just a little bit. Let me play you a little bit of Manny Pacquiao singing here.
I'd rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie. And who am I to doubt you on what you see or do? I'm only just beginning to see the real you. Dad, did you know that he is from the Philippines? He's the what? He's from the Philippines. I don't know what that means. The Philippines. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's from the Philippines. Yeah, that's right. He's from the Philippines. Yeah, he's a congressman or something. Yeah, of course. I think he wants to be the president. There you go. That's his goal. There you go, Pop. All right, I love you, Dad. I love all you guys. I love you. We'll talk to you later, Dad. Happy Thanksgiving. All right, bye-bye. See you tomorrow. He does say, I love you guys. Believably, just he won't say it. Even when you're alone, talking to him one-on-one, I love you.
I love you guys. Love me, you know? Love me. You have a family now, so he's encompassing your whole family. He wants to say every time he says he loves you. He can't love me, though. He does. Go give him a big kiss on the cheek. It's like an old Navy thing, I think. He's from a different time. Men don't tell men. Men don't tell men they love each other. Well, I love you, Mike. I love you, Mike. I love you. I love all you guys. Makes me uncomfortable. Your family is so sweet. Seriously. They are. How did I? What do you want? Like your dad. What's up? He said what's up. What's up? What's up? Yeah, that's what he usually answers. What if he answered like that? He'd be genius. My dad is the best. I love that guy. He's awesome. I love that guy. That's right. Fox News read off a list of things that you can't take on the plane for Thanksgiving. It takes 55 seconds to read the entire list. Oh my gosh. It's pretty crazy. And by the way, and what's on sports next. It's 10 years, just in case you're listening and you're like, I want to know what that is. 10 years, songs called Beautiful. So we're going to tell you, we're going to play you this audio of all the things that you can't take on the plane for Thanksgiving, and it's a lot.
I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That's Sienna. That's Jay. And our phone screener today is Chris. That smells so freaking good, dude. That's not even funny. It's not meant to be funny. It's a Philly cheesesteak with chicken. You can just call it chicken cheesesteak. Chicken cheesesteak. Chicken cheesesteak. Yeah. Where did you get that? Rebecca made it for dinner and I brought one and then she... prepares it for me to bring it in for breakfast in the morning. She's a good wife. That's my love language. She doesn't eat meat, so she just had a steak sandwich. Veggie? Veggie sandwich. Pepper sandwich. Her and Nita. Nita, our Hungarian nanny, is also vegetarian. Which I guess makes me vegetarian. That's like eating a big Snickers bar just in front of all of us. Yeah, I did that last night. What? Ice cream bar. Oh, yum. Those are good. Made a special trip in the pouring, freezing rain. Four said Snickers ice cream bar. Oh, wow. I need it and I need it now. You're out of your mind. Grass is always greener, you guys, because when you guys are ordering food, I'm like, that sounds good. I'll trade you my oatmeal for that right now. Yeah, that looks delicious. You want to tell the listeners what just happened at the break? No, but I guess I have to now. Yes, you do. I don't know. I paid woods.
Oh, my God. Did you go pick up Steve, your brother? Your brother. Your own flesh and blood. How much did you get? I got $80. And then he bought you breakfast. Yeah, that's $3. Are you owing me, or how is this going to work? Oh, my gosh. I owe you $10, so you owe me like $7, and then we're square. $7? The guy's unbelievable. It's how the rich stay rich, okay? They keep track of stuff. It's unbelievable. Wow. Hardly rich. Which is why I'm going to pick up Steve Esparza at the Air Force. I can't believe it. Your brother will be excited to see Steve. Yeah, he and Steve are buds. He will. I bet you he would have loved to see you, too. He will. I'm sure Woods will do. Why are you doing this to me, Lauren O'Brien? You know that you're getting me. That's exactly why I'm doing it. Listen, I want to go home and just relax. I'm going to pick you up, and you're going to come with me.
Then you give me that money back, pal. Or half of it back. I'll give you $10 back. Wow! We'll spend some time together. Will Bond be dynamic? Give me some of that money back. That ain't fair. It's fair. I'm driving. $20, then. He's your driver. I'll give you $20, and you drive. Oh, I think if Woods gives you $20 back, then it's more fair. Yeah. And he's still driving. It's his gas. That's a long wait. He's the one dealing with traffic. You're sitting back. Mike's head just hit the microphone. Never mind, I got it. I want to keep the whole dough. I need it. All right, give me 20 back. I'll go. Nah, never mind. Wow, you guys are ridiculous. Children. He's going to give me $60 to ride. I know it. It's ridiculous. I paid $60 to sit shotgun. In my car. $60 to ride in your car. I wonder if my brother is going to be like, Hey, how come he... I want to get you guys those little matching necklaces that have the heart that's broken. BFF friends. BFF. I would wear it. I bet you would. You each tote a broken heart. That's right. Am I not to tell Steve that you've paid me for this? Or what's the protocol here? Oh my gosh. Awkward. No, don't tell him. Don't tell him. Because then he'll be like...
Wow. I mean, he just didn't want to spend time with me. And that's not it. It's just, I just, I have to go record a voiceover today. And when I'm done, I want to go home and I want to spend time with the fam. And that's it. I don't want to go. I don't want to go. Your brother doesn't count as family. Touche. Fantastic. Mike is burying his face in his arms in shame right now. I get you. I'll get you. Gets me every time. I can't believe I'm going to the airport tonight. It's going to be a mess. Have fun, Woods. You better give me his number. Woods is going to break his hand from punching his name. It's going to be okay. It's Thanksgiving. Oh, no. Oh, no. What? He's not on the phone, is he? Not him. Your dad. Nope. Your wife. Did you spend your allowance? I don't get allowance anymore. Get her on the phone. Pick up the line. Pick it up. I'll do it. I don't want to do this. Pick it up. Pick up the line. It's not a bit. You guys did it off the air. I got cash money in my wallet. Okay. Hi, honey. Hi, hon. Piercing. I'm so excited that Steve's coming in today. I can't wait to see him. And I was thinking, how about you stay home and watch the kids, and I'll go pick them up.
Great idea. That is perfect. Yeah, there you go. Babe, you know as well as I do that that is not good for the children's welfare. Oh, really? How come? Because I am completely inept when it comes to... Babe, be completely serious. When is the last time that I changed... I'll go with you. Hang on. Tell everybody the last time I changed a poopy diaper. Be for real. When is the last time I actually changed a poopy diaper? Last time I changed a pee-pee diaper was this morning at 2 a.m. Good for you. Yeah, I mean, I'll change a pee-pee diaper. But when's the last time I changed a poopy diaper? It was probably Jake. It probably wasn't the twins. Get in there and change that diaper. So he hasn't changed a poopy diaper on the twins at all? I don't believe so. I don't even have kids. I've changed poopy diapers more recent than you. I think that... Twins produce a lot of poopy diapers, too. I just have to point that out. So many diapers. But I'd say probably when Jake was two. Yeah, that's probably right. He's four now. He's four. Why not, Mikey? Why not? And I would say that the number of times that you've changed a poopy diaper has been less than ten. Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. Oh. I would say I've probably changed five poopy diapers. Yeah. Oh, wow.
I've probably changed five. Why? I change the pee-pee diapers. I change the pee-pee diapers. Not very much. Are you afraid to, like, contract something? Uh-uh. Weak your stomach? I know. Listen, the times that I have done it, it's ended up, you know, where it shouldn't. It gets on you sometimes. Not just me. You know how that doesn't happen? Practice. You'll get really good at it. I would say from now on, all Poopy Dappers are yours. That's actually a really, really good thing. When Dad's home, he's got cleanup. I'm just here taking grenades in the trenches. Anyway, so I was thinking it would be really fun to get out of the house. Me and Jamie will go. We'll pick you up. Oh, that's a party. You guys can all have dinner together. Yeah, we should all go to dinner like a family. That would be like my dream come true. Mike is shooting daggers right now. He wants to be included. So you're on kid duty and it cost him 80 bucks.
Oh, my gosh. It's Thanksgiving, Mike. I'm going to throw up. I just got in a hose. Actually, the four of them can go out to dinner, and then people can think that Steve is Rebecca's husband. Yes. That would be awkward. Oh, my gosh. Is that Mikey? Did he shave his beard? Oh, my gosh. I really can't wait to see him. I haven't seen him in a long time. Well, Rebecca, you know, you and I haven't hung out in a while either, so it's going to be fun. I don't want you alone in a car with my wife. It's not alone. My wife's going. Oh, thank goodness. No, yeah, and I haven't, you know what? I haven't, like, I see Jamie. Yeah, maybe you guys text each other more, babe. We don't really get to, like, hang out. Yeah. Yeah. Let's all take a, we'll take a ride. Let's all go. Are you serious? Maybe you guys pick me up on the way. Yeah, I was going to say, maybe me and BFNC go. You're dead serious? All right, we will pick you up. I'll bring Sage. And then that way. Jay? I'm in. Steve gets his sister-in-law. Yeah, you guys just come by the house afterwards. Mike gets to stay home, which is what he wants. Right. Mike, this all started because Mike did not want to pick up his brother from the airport on a busy night, night before Thanksgiving. Boy, that plan's gone to crap, hasn't it? Everyone's going. Imagine if that happened. Ever just backfire? How sad is it that you guys would rather go with my wife?
Like $6.15. Mike, it's not that they would rather go with Rebecca. It's that you made a point to say that you wanted to stay home. Oh, you don't want to go. $80 worth of a point. Babe. Babe. You know, the kids would love to spend some time with you anyway. Oh, yeah. For sure. Poopy diapers all night. Cost them $80 to stay home. It'd be cool if we threw like a surprise party, like a welcome for Steve. Yeah. Like balloons and flowers and stuff. That'd be really nice. Hey, you guys, let's take Steve to one of his favorite wrestlers. Yeah! Yes, Pample Boos. My mom is in the party planning business. I bet she can get us a really nice limo. How dare you. This will be rad. This will be rad. It's turning into like a big night out. Oh, it's going to be so nice. Rebecca, wear a dress and heels. I'll have Jamie do the same. Bring Mikey's credit card, too. Oh, yeah. Good idea. I beg you not to really do this. Oh, we're doing it. We're doing it. Oh, yeah. She wants to get out of the house. She needs a little ride. I need a night out.
A night out to the airport. And dinner. So, honey, in all seriousness, who is home tonight? Is Claudia working tonight? Nita is here tonight. Nita's there. But, you know, with all three of the kids, it's two people, not just one. But as soon as you left, I would say Nita. Is it okay if I watch Apocalypse Now? No, no, no, no. No. Because that's just, I mean, it's not really fair to her. You know what I mean? It's too much. It's too much. It's not fair. Yeah, and you're off tomorrow anyway, so. Right. Yeah, exactly. You don't have to be in bed by six tonight because you don't work tomorrow. They'll probably have a lot of energy. That noise was his forehead hitting the microphone. You can give them extra nap time today, Rebecca, so that they have plenty of energy to hang out with Daddy. I'll go downstairs. And I'll tell Nita right now. No! Come on, you guys. Be different. She'll help you. Be different. You be different. I'm going to tell her that you're going to help her and I'm going to go out. Go out. I can't, babe. I'm trying to save children in Haiti tonight. Not tonight. I'm being different. Oh, really? I'm praying.
Michael. Babe, I'm giving my testimony. I'm practicing my testimony. I'm practicing my testimony. We're back. It'll be about 6.15. Jamie and I will swing by the house. No! I would cry. It's happening. You're gonna then. Mike, it's nice for your wife to get a night out. Yeah, you're a giver. I want to go. I want to see Steve. And, you know, the kids want to see you. And your brother. Any second. Any second. Any second. My alarm is going to go off and I'm going to be waking up. This is a nightmare. And I would be like, I will wake up from this dream and I would text Woods, you will never believe what I just dreamt. I can't wait to hang out with Rebecca. It's going to be a great night. Everybody wins. You have a gig tonight or anything? No, nothing. Nothing on the calendar. Oh, man. I need a Xanax. Everybody wins. You guys should stop by the house, Woods. We will. We'll help you cook and stuff. We'll have some cocktails. Haven't seen Kim in a while. Yes. Come on by. That'd be great. BFMC. We should all watch Apocalypse Now at Dave's house. I love it. That's Mike's favorite movie.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. You are evil, L.O.V. You are evil. You are evil. I feel like someone just punched me in the gut. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Mike's favorite movie. Oh, my gosh. Perfect. So it's settled. It's done. We're settled. Okay. I'll bring the popcorn. You text Jamie. Text Jamie right now. See you tonight, Rebecca. Hey, why don't you just text Woods like usual, babe? But they're not allowed to text? No. I find out about it like three days later and say, oh yeah, Rebecca texted me about it. She did? What? It's about the baby. Of course. Little Angelina. Come on. Maybe you lose that number. Oh my God. Somebody's having his feelings hurt right now. Wow. I love you, babe. I love you too. I love you. All right.
He does. All right, bye. That's going to be a really nice night for you and the kids. Let's recap. Ready? Yeah. I'm going to lay this out for you real sweetly. There's too much. Mikey doesn't want to go to the airport. Try to get. Pretty much every person in the building to go for him. I said, you know what, pal? I could use the extra scratch. Throw me a hundred bucks and I'll go. I can't believe this is happening in my life. That way I get to stay home with my family, with Rebecca and the kids and the whole thing. When you guys are in the car, you should call yourself the show. You know where we should go to dinner after we get Steve? Pimple Moose. Absolutely. I'll call Jeff. I got his number. Anyway, so now it has cost him $80 which
You guys know me. I'm not giving that money back. That money stayed with me. I seriously feel like that. Now me, my wife, and Rebecca are going to the airport to pick up his brother. Look at how happy all of you are. No, I'm not. I really am not. She's so happy. She's so happy. I know, I know. Mike, it's all because you just didn't want to pick up your brother from the airport. Remember how I was roasting you real good yesterday? Oh, yeah. I'm so sorry. I know. Comes back in spades, brother. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wish I had Mike's face as my screensaver. He's like in a fetal position on his chair. He's holding his heart. He's clutching his chest. He's got cheese steak stuck in his gobbler. Like, I got a... Did you? Yeah, you just did. But he's not him. You have to be the one to say it. He added an R. He added an R. That was not the word of the day. It wasn't? No. Why don't we let it? Because, no. Why don't we let it? I thought it was only you, Mike. I didn't work it in sweetly. Slyly. And he added an R. And I went, oops. Wrong dad. Bobby De Niro over here. Gobble.
Oh, man. Were we smoking crack this morning before we came in? Hey, I knew, listen, I knew that today was going to be wacky and that we were going to go off the rails because tomorrow is Thanksgiving and today is the day before. We're just, listen, I usually have us very structured today. Obviously. Woods put it best. He said it feels like when you were in school and it was a day before a holiday. The teacher's like, we're going to watch movies. That's it. We're going to have some pizza. That's what we're doing. Today is that day. Pizza movie day. Today is pizza movie day. It's a fun day. I'm having a blast. Yeah. All right. Let's see. That's brilliant. We got M1 John. M1 John. And he's calling from Encinitas. And what was the word of the day? The word of the day was God. That's right. You had two chances for it today. You missed it the first time. There you go. So you are a winner of a Mikey Show t-shirt, brand new shirt, that has just been designed. And you also got a four-pack to Legoland that you can use anytime between now and Christmas Eve, okay? Nice. Hang on the line. There you go. I got a visual. I love it. Of me, like, holding Luke. Screaming. My one-year-old. Screaming.
And I got a visual of my wife like all dressed up because she's going to dinner. So she's all dressed up looking all pretty. I smell her perfume. And ding dong, the doorbell rings. Oh my God, poopy diapers all day. My guy's like smeared on his face. Where are you going? They open the door and there's Woods and L.O.B. and Jamie and Sienna and Jay. Car door open. Stereo pumping. Yeah, exactly. We're in the limo. Come on. See you guys later. Bye, babe. Red carpet, rose petals. Me driving down the five Rebecca's hanging out the sunroof. Topless. Topless. My wife's got a bottle of champagne. She's popping the cork. Looks like a P. Diddy video. Just buckets and buckets of fun. Rebecca says, I'm free to do what I want. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. That is hysterical. That is hysterical. It's going to be great. It's going to be a blast. I can't wait for tonight. I can't wait. Good thing it's all just a big joke, right? Not all of them. Todd, call a babysitter. No! I actually just bring the stage over to Mike's.
Rebecca comes in at 1 a.m. like drunk. Yeah. Closed inside out. Yeah, closed inside out. You guys been at Pamplemousse all night long? What are you doing, like, Mr. Radio Man? Yeah. Babe, babe, wake up. I need you to make me a pizza. Babe, wake up. Wake up. I have a funny joke for you. Oh, my gosh. Words are so funny. Words are so funny. Steve is so good. It's true what they say about him. All right. Creep. You creep. Crossed it. Creeper. It is true. Unbelievable. All right. And now I'm going to play a song for you because everybody's requesting it. I've been getting texts. I got 50,000 texts for this. That's my junk song. Yeah. You know the TSA song? And by the way, the guy's an M1. John Tyner. John Tyner, the guy that started this whole TSA stuff. And this is a song about him going through the metal detector.
This is you guys with Rebecca tonight. Down the five? Down the five. Happy Thanksgiving! I'm waiting for this moment. It's so much fun, Rebecca. I'm at home with poop all over my arms from the twins. You sure has the show, Rebecca? I used to be the host, man. Mikey's full of it, man. Give me the Rebecca show. The Rebecca show. Oh, my gosh. Oh, just messing around is a lot of fun, isn't it? Is it?
Oh, but the truth is so much more fun. Oh, yeah. Rebecca's probably at the salon right now getting her nails and hair done. Yeah. When we come back, we will have one of our significant others on the line, and we will be making a very big announcement next. News, Jana. You couldn't even tell you had a mouthful of food, Mike. I could tell. What do you mean? You look like a squirrel. Welcome back to the show. We have a very big announcement coming up here in just a second, so stick around. What is wrong with you?
Winter coming? I like Goofy Mike. I'll just go ahead and tell you the news. Yesterday, trolley service on the green line between Santee and Old Town was shut down for a few hours in the afternoon. A dog that was trained to detect explosives sniffed a red suitcase, which was left in the trolley right by San Diego State. Turns out it was just epoxy, but they had the bomb squad there. I mean, the whole thing was shut down. So good news on that. That's good. Also, how are you not done chewing yet? I put so much food in me. A quarter of a sandwich. You look like a hamster. Yeah. Storing away for the winter. President Obama also pledged yesterday that the U.S. will, quote, stand shoulder to shoulder with and protect South Korea after North Korea shot the explosives at them the day before. The death toll from the attack rose to four. Some burned bodies were found of civilians. Really sad. South Korea, the leader, has threatened retaliation. So it's not the end of the Korean War. Part two. Part two. Woods, what's going on in sports? I'm going to give you the NFL Thanksgiving schedule for tomorrow. And I, for one, am looking forward to feasting.
after my big night out with Steve Esparza and Rebecca Esparza. Oh, boy. And eating and laying on the couch and watching these three games. You've got the New England Patriots at the Lions. It starts at 9.30 a.m. Yes. We may just be getting in from tonight at 9.30 a.m. You better not be kidding. You better be serious. Wait, what? The New Orleans Saints at the Dallas Cowboys at 115 Pacific and the Cincinnati Bengals at the New York Jets at 520. All right. You ready for a very big announcement? Now, I'm going to let you know right away it isn't about me. Jay, is it about you? No. Sienna. Negative. LB. No. It's not about me. It's not about Jay. It's not about Sienna. And it's not about L-O-B. It's about Woods. And? Jamie. Jamie, are you there? Hi, guys. Hi. Hey. Woodsy. Okay. So when I took this job months ago, Mike and I had a conversation about how to do certain things and how to talk about certain things on the radio and the importance of it. And I was bought in from the get-go. I told you, man, I'm a guy. You've known me a long time. Where's my heart? Right on my sleeve. All the time.
And so I said, I'm not going to have a problem with that. So it's been such a great year for Jamie and I, and we've had just a million blessings. And when we were in Charleston for my friend's wedding, this is about two weeks ago, we got a phone call that totally changed our lives, hopefully. We have gotten a lot of bad phone calls in the last three years. Jamie lost both of her parents. My sister-in-law lost her dad last year. When we were standing downstairs, we were waiting for the shuttle to take us to the rehearsal dinner. Jamie's phone rings, and we're all there. The cool thing is I'm there with two guys I went to middle school with. I've known these guys forever. We played in a band together, Gypsy Rose, Shameless Plug. We're standing there, and my wife reaches into her purse and picks up her phone. She's actually listening to a voicemail because she missed the call. And the call was from our adoption agency, and they had told us that we'd been selected to have a child. I look across at her, and her mouth is at her chin, and her eyes have filled up with tears. And I look at her, and I'm like, oh, God, not another one. My first reaction was, who died? Truly. Because of the year, the couple of years that we've had. And I'm like,
you know my mother my dad what is it my brother you know my sister-in-law what is it and she goes dear she goes we got selected and we i was standing there i was floored it's unreal man floored so you know we are we're cautiously excited ecstatic yeah you know but i wanted to let the listeners know just because you know i talked about it i told you know people that haven't didn't hear a few months back i mean we're unable to have kids on our own uh the traditional way the fun way right you can practice yeah yeah exactly we're we're unable to do that um the cool thing is there's a couple of cool reasons though why we wanted wanted to adopt i mean one doing that for a child is awesome you know giving that child what potentially will be a better life is incredible for us. And we're both that kind of person. Woods and Jamie are going to be incredible. We can't wait. We can't wait. And, you know, the second reason is I don't need any more Woods DNA out there. I just don't. There doesn't need to be another Woods out there. And so, man, my wife is the ringer that this girl has been put through.
in the last five years. You know, 90% of it my fault. That's what I was thinking. But, you know, the things that she's been able to endure and always keep a smile on her face, she deserves this, you know, and we do. And so there's a girl, and she's 19 years old, and she lives in Colorado, and she's having a baby sometime next year, and she almost picked us to be. It's parents. So we're like, we've both spoken to her. It's amazing. The whole, you know, one of the reasons I want to do it because I consider, you know, our listeners and they're our friends now. They're my friends. And I just want you guys to know, listen, it may not work out. And if it doesn't work out, I'm going to have to tell you about that too. But I want you to be, you know, involved in it and know. This is what's going on in my life because that's the kind of guy I am. I'm not a guy that likes to hold stuff like this in. I don't like stuff like that. I can't do it. So exciting. And Woods is right. You know, I said that, you know, in describing to him what the Mikey show is and coming over here and coming to this station, putting together a new group of people, the philosophy was the same is that we put our lives on the radio. And, you know.
Woods is that guy. You know, that's just who you are. Jamie, his wife, is on the phone. And, Jamie, you know, what were you feeling when you got that phone call? Crazy. I couldn't even speak. And I think I made him so nervous. But, I mean, it's just taken a while to kind of set in. But super excited, very optimistic. Just, you know, we're nervous to go through the process and then, you know, something could happen. She could change her mind, but we have to be excited and just think positively about it, and hopefully this is going to happen the way we want it to. Yeah. And you guys have spoken to her and on the phone, and you're going to try and go out there and visit her. Yeah, we want to, you know, probably in the next, gosh, I've got to say, probably in the next three weeks, you know, we need to make a trip to Colorado and meet her and her family. And, you know, there's a million things that can go wrong, right?
What we're talking about and working ourselves through at home is, listen, if you were pregnant the traditional way, there's still a million things that go wrong. You're terrified until you're holding that baby. Until it's in your hands. That was the thing. We talked at length about, do I say anything? Jamie, being the supportive, amazing wife she is, is like, listen, this is what you do. You need to do what you think is best. to be able to share that. Now, one thing I will, you know, ask, it's super exciting for us. You know, we don't, as I'm like, I want all you M1s that are listening, I want you to keep this very private, okay? I want you all to keep this very private. Yeah, don't tell anybody. Don't tell anybody. I'm not supposed to tell anybody. What I don't want is a million Facebook things. If you want to send us a message, I love you. We both appreciate your support and your prayer so much. You know, send us a private message would be great, you know, because... There's still a lot of people that don't know, and it's a real hard position to be in because I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch. And you talk about the connection that we have with you as M1s. He means that. Yeah. You know before people that Woods knows knows. Yeah, for sure. We're sharing it with you.
Before we're sharing it, and Woods is asking you as a listener, as an M1, you know, Facebook's a community. Not everybody knows. He chose to share it with his close family and friends, which means M1s. And that means you're closer than even some people that he knows that don't know. There are people I went to high school with that I'm still friends with in Dallas that don't know. But it's just an important thing for me because it is my life. And what a huge, huge part of my life not to share. And, you know, like I said, if it doesn't work out the way we want it to, we're going to keep trying again. At some point, you will hear me say we have a baby and it's in our arms. But it may be two years from now, you know. And, you know, you just never know. But we wanted to share it with you guys because it's so. monumental for us and and you know after a month we were selected after a month a month and there are people that you know wait years and and um it's
When you talk about a blessing, it's a blessing for us because, you know, when I say all of our friends, our close friends, they all have children. And we love kids so much. You've seen me and Jamie with yours and with yours, Mike, and with yours, Jay. And, dude, we just, it's what we were meant to do. And we're both going to be just super. Super involved. When I had Sage in the hospital, both Woods and Jamie came. And I can't tell you how many people came to the hospital and didn't want to hold Sage because it's terrifying to see a tiny baby. And Woods and Jamie both just give me that baby, knew exactly what to do. I mean, you can't ask for better parents than those two. So you're feeling pretty good about it, right, Jamie? I am. And baby Sage is going to have a playmate. I know. I'm so excited. That's right. That's right. Well, we're so excited for you guys. Just want to say congratulations, and we're just so stoked for you. We love you guys. Yeah, we love you. All right, thanks, Jamie. Bye, baby. All right, y'all have a good day. See you, sweetie. Bye, Jamie. People are calling in. M1 Veronica from Escondido is on the line. Good morning, guys. How are you? Good morning. Steve and Jamie, I am so happy for you guys. Thank you. I have been praying for you guys and everything, and seeing you a few times at the beach with M1 Brady and just everything like that.
I can't wait. Yeah, we can't either. We can't either. We're so excited. So it's like, you know, you guys all know I'm a birth mom to like that. So I am so excited for you guys. Thank you so much. That means a lot to us. It's not final and whatnot, but I'm going to keep you lifting you guys up and praying for you guys. Thank you so much. It's awesome. Thank you, Veronica. You guys have a great day. Happy Thanksgiving. All right, you too. M1Tia from Poway. Hey, guys. It's Tia. I was in studio on Friday. Right on. I briefly spoke to Woodby about a story about my brother and my sister-in-law. Yeah, I couldn't tell you then. Yeah, I know. I was just thinking about that. Yeah. They've been trying for four years. Through the adoption process about six months ago, it started, put their book together. The family's been going through it with them. It's been very hard.
They got a call like three weeks ago and picked up my niece, Olivia, the next day. Holy cow. Wow. That is rad. And everybody's just been totally supportive. And she's part of her family now. And I just wanted to share that story. And you guys, it's just so amazing for you guys. I'm so excited. Thank you. Thanks a lot. And Woodsy, sex the baby. Don't know yet. We'll know. You know, we should know that. We should know that in about two weeks. That's awesome. You know, I'm the kind of guy I want to know, obviously, because I'm knowing, am I buying freaking ballerina slippers or am I buying baseball gloves? You know what I mean? You got to think that Jared was a big part of... That's one thing I was just going to say. Oh, yeah. When we, and I don't know if I, I think I've told this on the air before, but we went through an agency, very expensive process and very crazy process, but it's time consuming and they said, hey, you need to put together a pamphlet with pictures of you, your family, your house, you know. So... We start to do this and we get we get like four samples and we look at him. We're like, those are nice. I call Jared and I go, what can you what can you do with it? He comes over the house 20 minutes. He leaves by three o'clock that afternoon. He had sent over this thing.
And I showed you guys. It's unbelievable. All the pictures of us, he put in a frame. He put the frame on what looks like a mantle. We put pictures of the dogs, and it was really cute. When I talked to the girl, she's like, I just loved your puppies so much. I loved seeing your puppies. When you see somebody with five dogs, you're like, all right, they need a kid. They're obviously very paternal. But Jared is just... He did such a great job. He did such a good job with ours, man. Everything he does, that guy's gold. Yeah, if you want to see his website, by the way, it's createyourdesignonline.com. And if you want to, you can call us. It's 570-1949. And if you want to say anything to Woodsy and what's going on with Woodsy, you can do that. M1 Ryan from Fallbrook. Hey, how are you doing? Yeah, I just want to congratulate you and your lovely wife. Hey, I'm big shoes, man. There's not a better phone call than the phone call your wife got. I'm an adoptive father. Nice. Five-year-old. That's awesome. I parallel you very much. I went in the book July 19th, and I got a call August 2nd that my son was born. Wow. So great. So cool. Yeah. Thank you, dude. Oh, yeah.
You know what? All you can do is rely upon your faith and know that, hey, whatever's meant to happen will happen. Absolutely. And that's, you know, that's exactly what we're doing, man. And we're leaning on each other really, really hard. And we're like, you know, it really has brought us closer together. And, you know, we've had – this time last year was probably the worst time of our marriage that we've encountered. And to be here with you guys doing this a year later and with a kid on the way. Holy cow. It's pretty amazing. It's incredible, man. And we're just, we're so ecstatic, you know, for the whole process. And just to be a dad is like, it's amazing. 570-194-9 is the number if you want to give us a call. And the big announcement is that Woods and his wife, Jamie, are going to be adopting a baby. Mommy and daddy. Oh, my God. Very, very cool. And we're pretty excited about it. You know, it's just a really cool time for them and for us as listeners. We told you about it before a lot of people that he knows know about it. It's a true statement. All right, Woodsy, so what song should I play? Well, you can play our wedding song. You can play By Your Side. All right, let's see. I don't know if I have it. Get it on YouTube. Let me find it. Let me find it. Let me find it. We'll come back. We'll do some stuff here. Ooh, this is a nice one.
That is a very cool announcement. Congratulations, brother. Thank you. Congrats, dude. Thank you, Jamie. Fingers crossed. Toes are crossed, man. Yep. Eyes. Eyes, yeah. Seems rather appropriate. Yeah, it does. It's Woods and Jamie's wedding song. Don't look at me. I know it. Wow. Seattle said the same thing. Santa was going to cry. If you're just tuning in, Woods and Jamie found out that they are going to be adopting a baby. Between you say it, I get chills. I can't imagine what you guys must be going through. I wish that I had a DeLorean and I could get it to 88. I want it now. You'll get there. No matter what. It's all every parent that finds out that they all want it right now. I want it now. I want to go home today on Thanksgiving. That would be the best. Next time next year. A little bundle. I'll tell you what, man.
Any parent will tell you this. Sometimes they drive you nuts. For sure. But holy cow do you love them. Holy cow do you love them. I love this baby already so much. And it's like, even God forbid, we don't get this one. Just to be part of this is incredible. God forbid this isn't the one for us. We're just both like, wow, this is really happening. You know, it's a viable option, you know. And if it's meant to be, it will be. Yep. We're ecstatic. We got the names and everything. We're so stoked, man. Like, my parents are coming tomorrow. And my mom was going to take Jamie to L.A. and do some shopping on Friday. And I think now they're like going to be doing baby stuff, like going at least to like sniff around a little bit. Now, this would be the one that I would get if everything. That's the whole thing. The next, you know, next few months will be. Jamie, I can help you with everything. I just did it. I'm hoping for boys, you know, going to get all the Sparsa goods. They got more stuff over there. My goodness. Rebecca swaps them in and out. Yeah. But.
There are times where you hear, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. A million times. And you want to lose your mind. You don't want to lose your mind. There's a great Dennis Leary bit that he does about that. He'll be on the phone talking to a distant relative in Ireland, and his kid's like, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad. He goes, stop, I'm on the phone. What are you going to do when you get old? Boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss. Right. Come on, man. I mean, I was Monday night. Was it Monday night? Yeah, Monday night. Charger game is on. And Jake asked if he could wear his Phillip Rivers jersey. Of course. Game day. And the game is on. Yeah. And I go, sure, buddy. Sure. Game's on. But let's do it. So we go get the jersey. And he gets a jersey. He says, can I go get the football? Sure. Sure, buddy. Let's go get it for you. But Daddy can't play right now because Daddy's watching the game. So go get him the football, barefoot, outside, dark, nighttime, cold feet, on the cement, looking around in bushes, using my iPhone as a flashlight. That's what Daddies are for. But then when you come home and they see you and they get so excited. We found the football.
And went back inside, started watching the game, and Jake threw that little football right into my nuts. 100%. Maybe you get better hands. I didn't see it coming, Woods. And then he just ran in and out of that place, throwing that football around as I was trying to watch that game. And let me tell you something. I still love his face off. Enthusiasm. Enthusiasm. That's right. Take time for every single moment. That's right. Drinking it in, man. My computer just froze. Oh, perfect. Throw it away, get a new one. Yeah, for sure. Mike, throw it out the window. Why can't you just go get another one? Don't you have a spare? Okay. Oh, and it's back. Oh, well, hello to you. I'm wondering why this song ended so abruptly. Yeah, I know. Okay.
So let's do this. Today is so loose because tomorrow's Thanksgiving. Yay. And at 10 o'clock, we're done here. Yeah. And we get to take a few days off. And so we're just kind of having fun and freewheeling it. I don't even know if anybody's, you know, how many people we have actually listening today. Yeah. And I even said to LOB, I was like, and Sienna, I never remember. You said it to me. To you. I never remember. I'm always like, Santa, Lauren. One of you. Parent with its kids, man. Anyway, I said, I'm not even sure how many people we have listening today because I don't know if people are on vacation already. Seven. There's seven. There's seven people listening. Yeah, I counted them. I don't know. Got some. One thing that I do want to do is, what are you nervous or scared about this Thanksgiving? And what we want to do is. Get you to call in and tell us about it and then update with you on Monday and find out how it turned out. For sure. You know, maybe what you're nervous or scared about is, you know, your Uncle Louie coming and having a couple too many pops and doing what he does every year, which is, you know.
pee where he's not supposed to. Or like start berating the family. Start berating the family. You know how bad you pissed me off this year. I didn't even tell you. Right. You're such a D, man. Or maybe it's the relative that tells you the same exact story about you when you were a kid. And it's like, I know, I know, I know. I know, Aunt Carmen. You used to freeze. You used to freeze Three Musketeers bars for me when I came to visit. I know. I know. I used to put them in the freezer because I liked them that way. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. My Uncle Mike used to tell the story about when he took me to a Kiss concert and I pooped my pants. Every single wasn't really a Kiss concert. I thought it was. It was the talent show at the high school. I thought I was going to see Kiss and they were dressed up like Kiss. I pooped my pants. You actually did? I literally pooped my pants. Why? From excitement? No, the guy that was playing Gene Simmons. My uncle told me, we're going to see Kiss. I was like three or four. I loved Kiss. Oh, I thought this was last year. Yeah, maybe. The guy did the whole bit where he blew the fire and they had the whole thing. It scared the crap, literally the crap out of me. When he did the fire, you actually duped my pants. And so every holiday, hey, do you remember when we went to that?
Kiss concert. And you pooped yourself. You know what you do? You go, no, what happened? Yeah. Partner, come on, you got to relax. Don't force it. You're going to blow out your O-ring. Or like maybe you have a big announcement that you're going to tell your family. I like those ones too. You know, those are good. Anything that you're either anxious about or nervous about or scared about or whatever that's going to be going on. I mean, I'm sure L.O.B. will be announcing to the world and her. family that she's back together with her boyfriend no no as a matter of fact i'm just going to be here and i'm not going back to new jersey for thanksgiving but my dad was bent out of shape that he had to find out about bfmc through the podcast instead of me telling him in person oh my because i was just home i was just back in new jersey a couple weeks ago and i didn't mom was the word how did you approach that uh we walked we talked through my mom You do? That's how we approach that. Do you love me? So you tell your mom what to say to him? She'll say, you know, your father was really upset about such and such. And I go, well, you can tell my father. That's great. You tell him just don't worry about it. Keep your eyes on your own paper, Dad. Mike, what are you nervous about besides oyster stuffing? I am. Oh, I'll tell you what I'm nervous about. I'm nervous about Steve.
And I'll tell you why. My brother, Steve. Oh, gosh. He's coming to visit, and I hope he isn't listening right now. First of all, he's going to be stoked to see you picking him up. And your wife. Oh, boy. True statement. But what I told him before he came out here was, dude, first of all, every year I have to fly him out because he goes, I can't do it this year. How come? You know what, man? Just stuff is too tight. And I bet when he says that, he puts his hand over the phone and he giggles. Got him again. Mike's going to offer right now. Mike's going to offer to pay for it. So he goes, yeah, you know, I can't do it. Man, money's too tight. And so I go, I'll pay. I'll fly out. And he goes, okay. And so, but this year, he didn't say okay right away. He was like, you know what? I really do have so much stuff going on, even if you paid, blah, blah, blah. And so I sweetened the deal. And it was true what I sweetened the deal with. I said, listen, I said, you're going to love it this year. I said, we got a new TV, which we did. Got a new TV. A girl would be like, great. He goes, what'd you get? I said, oh, it's really nice. It's Sony. It's 1080p. He goes, really?
Because he's got a bunch of stuff in 1080p that he's never even viewed in 1080p. And I said, yes, we're going to watch the games on Thanksgiving on the new TV. And he's like, oh, wow. And I said, and plus, we are getting rid of the old couch, and we're getting a new couch. And by the time you get there, that'll be there, and we'll have the whole room is going to be painted and everything. Okay, well, what's actually going to happen? Oh, no. Because the stuff didn't come in. Plan fell through. Plan fell through is that Harold is going to pick up our old couch on Friday. So there will be no couch to sit on on Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. Oh, wow. And, oh, by the way, there will be painters there putting paint up all over the... Oh, gosh. Does he know this? Wow. But he does now, maybe? He might if he's listening. Oh, boy. And he's not staying with you, is he? You're a monster. What do I do? You didn't do it on purpose. You get them a room. I didn't do it on purpose. Don't you wait until afterwards to take the couch out? Plan it later, maybe? We can't. Because they said that the couch is going to be delivered next week. So the paint needs to be done. And you guys are eating Thanksgiving there? The paint needs to be done. You're eating Thanksgiving at your house? Yeah. And paint fumes? No, the paint comes after. No, paint fumes comes after. Yeah, Thursday. Turkey sandwich time. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. During turkey sandwiches, though, there's going to be dudes.
Walking around, painting, moving. Yeah, during the period of time that we would be lounging in there watching TV, we can't be because there's going to be people painting. What are you going to do? I don't know. How about shopping for Black Friday? On Black Friday. You guys want to go golfing with me and my dad? No. I don't know what we're going to do. How do you really feel? Will you be my caddy? I can't golf. Friday, will you be my caddy, though? You can carry my clothes. Maybe. Because you know my dad won't pay for a card. You know that. M1 Lauren is on the line from the 15. Are you there, Lauren? Good. Are you nervous about anything? Uh-huh. I'm pretty proud of the fact that I can say that they conceived their child there. I just really don't want my uncle-in-law to be thinking about the fact that we might potentially be...
being a child. Oh, wow. Yeah, he even has it on video. So that's the good thing. Yeah, because he set up secret cameras that no one knows about. That's super... Maybe you guys go to the Hampton Inn. It's not that bad. It's pretty bad. You probably just can't wait for you to have kids. Maybe you camp in your trunk. Yeah, seriously. I mean, it's kind of like, oh, okay. Why are uncles so creepy and perverted? They always are. You can say, I assure you, we will not be conceiving anything in there. Won't you? Yeah, what would you do if he said, will you be making love at my house? So creepy. Hey, Lauren, make sure you shivers. Make sure you get some while you're there. Get some. Get some. Are you guys going to sleep? What are you wearing? If you need any extra towels, I have some. You look so tense. In my bedroom.
I give the best back massages. Oh, yeah. I can make 30 hush puppies in like five seconds. Jay's niece is listening right now. She's like, yeah, that's exactly right. I've got bees in my attic. It wouldn't be the first time the long arm of the law caught up with me. Yeah, long, soft kisses. I believe in soulmates. There is only one. No, Uncle Jay, I haven't been tanning. Oh, because the small of your back is so different in color from just underneath your waist. Was there a Playboy sticker on your inner thigh? The black and white camera does not do you justice that I hid in that room. Because I can see the tan line on your legs. It looks like you've been wearing bo-
Boy shorts. Who are those? Pickle five. Oh, my goodness, Lauren. Haven't you grown up? Who's the big girl? Come sit on my lap. Just come sit on the uncle's lap. Oh, God. I am so skewed out, you guys. We have to stop. You know what, though? Aren't there creepy relatives that are just creepy? Yes, of course. Dude, my wife had one when she was a... Younger girl, like in high school, and I don't remember his name, but he's dead now. But he used to call her Jimmy Jam. And she'd walk in for Thanksgiving or Easter, and he'd go, Jimmy Jam! Wow. Come sit on my lap. Big jugs. Jimmy Jam isn't in and of itself. That's not creepy. Jimmy Jam's kind of creepy, but come sit on my lap, Jimmy Jam. It's creepy. Yeah, Jimmy Jam. Ugh, disgusting. Yeah. Disgusting. I can't think of the, like, relative, but I can think of, like, the parents' friends that come over that are creepy. Have a couple of glasses of Thanksgiving wine. You know, Todd isn't that much younger than me. Oh, God! You're a filthy filter. It's true. I know!
They don't just run the family. You turned out to be a pretty young kid. Giddy up. You say you just had a baby, huh? Boy, all your Facebook pictures just don't do you justice. All of them. Especially page four of your Facebook pictures. You know what I really liked? I really liked Cancun 2008. I really liked the caption you put on that Halloween picture from 2008. And I agree. It was kind of naughty. Are you really a nurse? When were you a police officer in training? Do you still have the handcuffs? Hold longer hug. Give me a hug. Give me a hug. Let's see who's taller face to face. I bet I can guess your weight. Come here. Come here. Give me a kiss. Your skin is so soft. Baby lotion? Mike, do the breathing again. That's the worst. You look so different. Somebody's all grown up. Boogers all over the microphone. I hate creepy relatives. I bet there are girls that are listening right now and they are going, oh, that's my uncle or that's my whatever. Or that's my dad's friend.
Oh, yeah. Creeps. Maybe they're on the shows. Yeah, maybe they produce radio shows. Radio shows on 94.9, 6 to 10 a.m. Maybe their name is the letter. Rebecca just texted me, and it says the following. It says if Steve doesn't get in until 7.40, we could all go get him together. Is that going to give this freaking money back? No, you keep it. But. You're the driver. Deal. And then go to dinner. Done. I can't wait. Will you go? Yeah. No, she's not going. You're not going. Yeah. As soon as we turn the mics off, she's like, I can't go. I don't want to go to the airport. I'll go to dinner. It's a whole thing. Come on. The airport? Yeah, we're going to do it together. We're doing it together. What's his driving? There's room for a car seat. What's his driving? We'll be right back.
Hi, and welcome back to Mikey Show. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, pretty crazy. A flight from Burbank, California, to Phoenix. Something was found on the plane that was not very great. A little kid's foot knocked a clip from a gun onto the floor in the middle of a flight. So this is a loaded clip from a gun was left. Now, the flight attendants and the TSA are saying that it's from an unnamed officer. Apparently it belonged to a... police officer that was on the flight. It was not an air marshal. And there's some investigation going on to find out more about it. But it's very scary. Yeah, it's scary. To see something like that on a plane. Speaking of planes, Hawaiian airline was called, named the best for on-air arrivals. On time. On air. We're on air. We're on time. Hawaiian Airlines. It's a good airline. Yeah. Love that airline. If you're flying them this holiday season, you'll enjoy it. You know what they do? On your way to Hawaii, you get laid. You do when you get there. They put a lay over your neck. But when you are in the air, they have a little oven and they bake macadamia nut cookies. And you can have as many juices as you want. It is pleasant. They're so friendly. All the way in. Mahalo, mahalo. Mahalo, mahalo. Aloha, mahalo. What's going on in sports? Well, we talked about this way earlier in the show. We teased it about Vince Young.
removed from the Titans practice facility yesterday. It's not as dramatic as you might think. Basically what was happening was Coach Fisher was having a meeting with the team addressing Vince Young and the situation that went on with him when he threw his jersey and his shoulder pads into the stands. So you guys are going to have a meeting about me. I'm probably not going to be in that meeting, right? So they're going to... They told him, hey, man, you don't need to be here today. So he left. It's a huge, huge scandal, though, because they're both under contract, Jeff Fisher and Vince Young. They don't know what's going to happen with that. And also, congratulations to Josh Hamilton. I tip my cap to you, sir. Good sir. MVP of the American League yesterday. That's awesome. And it's just a great story. Great dude. You know, great, great guy. And everybody knows his story with drugs and all that. Actually, here he is talking about winning that award. Cut one. Just give me four minutes here, Woods. Okay. You got it, buddy. I'm just taking it easy today. Take it easy. Kick back. It's a holiday tomorrow. I got some special teammates. A lot of guys that could do this. They have the skills and the talent level to do this as well. Just so it happens, they set the table for me. I don't know what it means to them for me to win this, but I know they were a huge part of me being up here right now.
And I'd like to thank him for it. Yeah, he's a class sack man, batted .359, 32 homers and 100 RBIs, missed mostly all of September. Didn't have a very good World Series, but a great guy and a good inspiration. Mm-hmm. These are the things that you cannot take with you on the airplane this holiday season. Just so you know. Steve, have you heard about the things you can't take for Thanksgiving, the specific Thanksgiving things? It's a long list. I have a list of them. I'm going to tick them off. Folks, if you're planning to fly to grandma's or whatever and you want to take some food along, keep this in mind. You can't take cranberry sauce, no cologne, no creamy dips, no spreads, no cheeses, no peanut butter, no gift baskets with food items, no salsa, no jams, no salad dressings, no gravy, no jellies, no jams, no lotions, no maple syrups, no oil, no vinegar, no salad dressing, no salsa, no sauces, no soups, no wine, no liquor, no beer, and of course... No snow globes. He said salsa twice. Death by snow globe can be a... Everything else you could take. Chances that gets auto-tuned and turned into a rap song. That's awesome. I would love for it to. I don't have a problem with any of that. Except for the salsa. That's going to be tough for you. That's flowing in your blood. They're like, sir, we can detect it. Where is it? I swear, I don't have it. I don't have it. We detect it. We have a salsa detector. You have it on you somewhere. Take those pants down.
Sir. And I pull my pants out. It's just salsa bottles taped. Duct taped. Salsa holsters on your belt. Ready to go. Yeah. They remove all the salsa. They remove all the salsa that's taped to me. And they're like, Mr. Sparza. And I still have more. I'm like taking more out. Armpits. Armpits. Everywhere. Salsa fiending. It's a good thing you're not flying. Yeah, seriously. It's a really good thing. My brother's trying to throw a monkey wrench in our ointment tonight. Why? Well, because me and Rebecca and what did you say? It's a fly in the ointment. What did I say? A monkey wrench in the ointment. Don't want to get your monkey wrench in there. I hate when I do that when you're confused. I do that all the time, obviously. There's a fly in the spokes. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Anyway. You've got to wipe your monkey wrench clean of all that ointment. That's right. So, we decided that we were all going to go pick up my brother tonight. Well, my brother has to bring his little doggy. What's wrong with that? It's Thanksgiving. What's wrong with that? Dude, why are you bringing- What's wrong with that? I'll tell you what's wrong with it.
I'll tell you what's wrong. You're a monster. Holiday for families. Is that Mike Vick over there? Did you have to pay? Did you have to pay for the doggy too, Mikey? No. He must have picked that up. We've got to figure out what to do. Is there restaurants that will let you take? Sure. Leave me in the car. What? There's all kinds. What restaurant? I don't know. Leave me in the car. Crack a window. We're not leaving them in the car. Oh, believe. You know what we got to do? We got to take them to mom and dad's, and then we got to have dinner. Dinner about midnight? Dinner up there. No, we'll have dinner up there. Great. Great. Chances it's a Mexican food restaurant? 150%. L.O.B. said she's going. L.O.B. There's now a monkey wrench in the ointment, so. You're going, L.O.B. Come on. You know how bad Steve wants to see you. We'll see. That's a no. That's a no. Yeah. This is my brother's way of saying no. We'll see what happens. Yeah. That's his phrase. We'll see what happens. My mom always says that. We'll see. I got some is there anything worse than's. You can call in with these if you have them. Is there anything worse than going all day, getting home, and realizing that you had an eye booger all day long that nobody told you about? You get home. Did that just happen to you, Mike? No. What about a real booger? I feel like, yeah, a bat in the cave is my word. You get home and you're like.
How long has that been there? Or maybe a piece of pepper in your teeth that none of your friends, so-called friends, I put that in finger books. I told you about. Giant piece of pepper. Is there anything worse than trying to make plans with Lauren O'Brien? What? Nothing. Why? Can we just kidnap you? Why? She has a life. Here, smell this rag. Yeah. Chloroform. Chloroform. She was trying to smell it. She tried to smell what's his bare hand. I was trying to cooperate. She wakes up with a seatbelt on. In my suburban. You guys keep throwing all these monkey wrenches in the ointment. What's getting paid to be there? You pay me 80 bucks. It's a talent fee. It's an appearance. It's an appearance. Finally. It's a good thing our sales department doesn't work. You'd be in trouble. They're off today. The day off. The whole office is off except for us. We're here. The church is real good. I saw a couple people next door though. I'm glad we're here today. I'm having a great time. You ever dip a whole can of snuff during the show? Nope. It's a holiday. Anything worse than getting a bloody nose?
I had one this morning. Did you really? In the shower. You got to quit tooting that powder, boy. I can't quit it. And let me tell you, you get a bloody nose in the shower, it's the worst because now what do you do? How do you get dry with a bloody nose? You're dealing with it. You got to get out of the shower, put toilet paper in there. Nope. I stay in the shower until it stops. Until it bleeds out. Until it stops? Oh, no, you pinch it and hold it. Yeah, like this for a while. How do you know when it's done? You just wait a minute and count to 60. How often do you get a bloody nose? You know, it's weird. I get one probably once a month or so. What? When it's real dry. You go to the doctor, dude. Just dry nose. I've gotten like three in my life. Yeah. I get them. I got a real sensitive nose. Terrible. I have a sensitive nose. Yeah, you get them. Anything worse than living with somebody and having missing leftovers? You go in there for that thing? You got a roommate or something? Kids? Kids. One time my brother-in-law ate my spinach and artichoke dip, and I went in there, and it was the empty container and a $5 bill on top of it. Which is almost even worse. It's almost. It's like, hey, I know I'm eating yours, and I don't give an F. No, I think he came home a little bit intoxicated and then felt bad about it, so at least left me the money, but I was like, no! The $5 bill is just in the refrigerator? Yeah. I know where you were going with that, Jay. Yeah. Here's $5.
Thank you. What does a five get me? Gross. Is there anything worse than, and I just want you to imagine this along with me, is there anything worse than getting all situated on the couch? You got your drink, you got your sandwich, your chips on your paper plate, you got your little napkin, you got your blanket all tucked in, you got the game on, you're in your sets, sweats, your socks, sitting there waiting, and you get all comfy. And you realize the remote control is so bad. I have this to be like every day. You know that feeling? It's the worst. And you look and you're like, bang! Let me tell you about your dunce friend Woods last night. I peed and moaned about the remote for about five minutes. Where was it? I was on my back. We were watching TV in our bed. I had my cell phone on my gut. and my laptop in my lap. I'm like, babe, where's the remote? She's like, I don't have any idea. I'm never even allowed to touch the remote. I'm like, where's the freaking remote? You made the bed. Where's the remote? No idea. You made the bed. On my shoulder. For five minutes. That's where I put the remote as well. It was on my shoulder for five minutes. Weird. Do you guys do, do girls do that? No. That's exactly where it sits. I do that too. Shoulder? Yes. Lean back in my chair, put it right there. I go like this. Why? I don't know. Because nobody else can touch it. Yeah.
Also, I put it there because I volume up and volume down for commercials. Me too. Because I can't stand the commercials are so loud. I mute the commercials. That's solid. You can mute the commercial guy. Oh, I am too. My friend does that too. I just fast forward. You don't mute the commercials? No. She doesn't even have a TV. I know. What are you going to do? Yeah, I guess so. Well, when I do see commercials, I'm interested to see what's going on in the world. So I want to hear. You're like, wow, I haven't seen a commercial in eight years. Yeah. At my house, anything worse is when Gilmore Girls and like Dancing with the Stars or something recording. I can't watch anything else. I'm like, I've got to get rid of one of these, Kim. Which one? Or watch one of them. Is there anything worse than them not being around to tell you the answer? Oh, I just turned it off. Me too now. You guys are mean. You guys are going to feel the wrath. It's my TV. And there won't be a rerun of the Housewives of Atlanta. It's not going to hurt you. I'm watching a sports game. Yeah, you haven't seen Gilmore Girls a hundred times. It's a different episode every time. I went to watch the game and it's like, you are recording the secret lives of the housewives of Atlanta and Dancing with the Stars. And some cooking show for you. You only get two. So I got to choose which one she's not going to get to see. Or you don't watch. Sorry, babe. Or I don't watch. Yeah, read a book. I mean, really? Think about the show that's more likely to rerun then.
That's a good idea. Or which one's available online. Or just do what you want. Is there anything worse than Thanksgiving being tomorrow and you being so excited and then someone in your family gets really sick and you can't go to that house? Who's sick? My sister Waverly. Hopefully everything will be fine, but I'm like, I don't know what I'm going to do now because I have a baby kick over there. Oh, yeah. I'll go check it off. Is there anything worse than it's Wednesday and I haven't bought my ingredients yet? Oh, I'm on the same board with you. Is there anything worse than your friend Lauren just waiting until the last minute on stuff? Everything. You are a last minute. Everything. Will you go tomorrow or will you go today? I'll go today. I'll begrudgingly go today. Oh, you're going to die. Oh, I know. You know what's weird, too? The stuff that bothers us about people is the stuff we're guilty of. 100%. Yeah. Why is that? Be like, you wait until the last minute. Meanwhile, I'm wait until the last minute guy. Like, oh, he's late. I'm late. Yeah. I'm not. Well, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Is there anything worse than trying to stop a bleeding nick from bleeding? Oh, dude, on your face. Or the toilet paper? Or on your... Junk? Ew, finger? It cuts on your junk? Yeah, you get a nick. Why don't you learn how to... I do, but... How close are you shaving that guy? I shave with a razor. Why don't you be careful? What?
What do you shave with? I just trimmed the trees back. I don't know. Oh, my. I just brushed to make the tree look bigger. Moving on. I feel like I'm listening to my brother. No, I didn't nick myself before. It hurts. Why? I did it on accident. Go slow, bro. Oh, come on. I nick areas. All areas. Take it easy. It hurts. I don't nick. Take it easy. I do, but sometimes there's like bones and curves. And it's nighttime and it's dark and it's shower. I make my knees all the time. Or like ankles and stuff. You shave your knees? Girls shave all the way up the legs. You guys werewolves? You like it baby soft and smooth. Well, my wife doesn't. You guys have hair that grows up. You have knee hair? Kim doesn't shave her thighs. They're not hairy. Not her upper thighs, but she does her calves. Is she wearing shorts or what's going on? There's no hair. She shaves them. No, trust me. She nerves them. Maybe I'm going to use nair on the boys. Not right on the cap, but it's right on the cap. I know, it's not recommended for your boys. What are you talking about? Really? The hair on your knees. I used it on my back. It's not like you get a lot of hair.
My legs sore. I don't need to see the bare knee. I just need to see what part you're talking about. Why are your legs sore, Lauren? What do you do? Sleep over with Matt? I'll show you. Not the actual ball part of the knee. Not the little cap. The side of it. Yeah. Got it. Do you have balls? No, the little cap thing. There's little tiny hairs on the kneecap. Well, I shave, so they're not there now. I don't know. I can't believe women shave their knees. I didn't know that. But they don't really. You shave all the way up. Did you know babies aren't born with kneecaps? Is that true? That's true. They don't get them until they're like three or four. That's cool. What? Cool knowledge. You'll go home and check today. Probably at 11-11. Is there anything worse than being late and your clothes aren't dry yet? Oh, man. I have to wear them anyway. You want to somehow turn the heat on the dryer up. Yes. And you go and you check every 30 seconds. And you're like, I know it's dry now. I know it's dry now. I know it's dry now. I know it's dry now. You ever go to school or work with wet jeans on? Oh, yeah. Damp jeans? Yeah, I've done it. It's the worst. You get butt itch real good. That's awful. Is there anything worse than getting something stuck in your teeth and you're in a place where you can't do anything about it? And you're just like getting in there and you know people can see it? I do it anyway. I don't care anymore. Like corn on the cob at the presidential ball or something?
Anything worse than that? Is there anything worse than getting something stuck in your teeth and you can't get it out? You don't even care. That's what I mean. You'll try. You'll try to, but you can't get it out of there. Nothing else in the world matters at that moment than just getting that out of your teeth. Yep. Anything worse than me laying in bed yesterday just napping it up real good and Rebecca going, hey, hon, can you run to Henry's because we don't have any bread? And I go, what are we having? And she goes, Chicken, what is it? Cheese steaks. Chicken cheese steaks. And I go, I don't want bread. Let's not load on carbs. She goes, but it's chicken cheese steaks sandwiches. And I go, let's just eat the steak part. And she goes, well, I kind of want bread. She's a vegetarian. It's over then. When she says...
Well, I kind of want bread. It's over. Then you're like, maybe you go to Henry's. No, I don't do. She got her hands tied. I got up. You had her tied up? No, I said I got up. I got up. You had her tied up. I said she had her hands tied. Yeah. With the babes. Ball gag. I made an observation at Henry's, too. Oh, I know what it was. So I'm in line at Henry's, and this woman goes, are you guys open on Thanksgiving? And I thought in my head, you know, there's grocery stores open on Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah. Okay? And I'm thinking of myself. I need to back up. She asked sort of frantically. She goes, are you guys open Thanksgiving? And I thought to myself, do you really, like, how important is organic gourd? Very. Like, how important is it that you get, like, soy? You know what I mean? That's her faith place. Maybe it's close to her house. It's very important. Go to 7-Eleven. Ew. To get a cord? Who cares? You know what I mean? I just thought...
I bet that's difficult. Maybe it's close to her house. Kim makes me crazy. She's the one who has to go to six stores. Or I could just go to Vons and get it all knocked out. She goes to Henry's, Trader Joe's, Whole Foods. And I'm like, Vons. I was beating about that yesterday to Rebecca. Because I said, do I have to go to Henry's? And she goes, no, you don't have to. I said, what am I getting? And she goes, bread for the sandwiches. I go, what kind is it again? She goes, it doesn't matter. And I go, no, no, no. And I knew in my head. I go, it's Francisco. I go, it's Francisco, right? And she goes, I don't even, it's Francisco. Of course you know what it is. I go, do they sell Francisco at Henry's? And she goes, no. And I go. Throw your hands up. It's so, why? Exasperated. Why does it have to be Francisco's? Because. That's the best bread for the chicken cheesesteaks. Oh, see. Are you from Philly? Those are Amorosos. Philly. Philly. So I had to go to, I went to, I was tired. I went to Henry's and I got the knockoff. Oh. You have a rough, rough life. Mike, I hate to break it to you, but Amorosos are the best anyway. Not Francisco's or whatever you're talking about. Well, I'll make it here. They sell it at Philly Franks. Oh, that's good.
M1 Willow from San Diego. How's it going? Good. Yeah, so I just had a story just to kind of follow up on the remote and the shoulder. Yeah. Because honestly, I think girls can be equally as dim-witted as guys, even though a lot of girls don't like to admit it. Maybe more so. I was on my cell phone the other day talking to my mom. She wanted me to come and meet her, and I was like, hang on, Mom. I can't come and meet you yet. I can't find my cell phone. Oh, boy. I've done it. Wow. You're on the cell phone? Where's my freaking phone? And you're on the phone. I've done that, too. And I was on the cell phone. I've done it. Yeah. I've done stuff where you're looking for it's on your face. Glasses. Glasses. You ever lose your glasses? Sunglasses on your head. Yeah, sunglasses on your head. Keys, they're in your hand. Pencil behind your ear. And when you realize it, you think that you are an a-hole. Yeah. The worst person on earth. Yeah. Woods is judging the fact that Jay puts a pencil on his ear. He and my grandfather. All right, I got one more for you. Is there anything worse than going to get medicine and there's one pill in the bottle? There's one pill in there. Better if there's none. You're great.
I have the worst headache I've ever had. There's one Tylenol. I feel a little bit better. A little better. Yeah. Is there anything better than Bryan Adams heaven? No. No. Sitting there with that Canadian tuxedo. Garrett. Lancaster. We'll be back and be more weird in just a second. Anybody have a nice restaurant? You'd let us bring a little Boxer Terrier. What is it? Boston Terrier. Boston Terrier. Tonight. Let us bring a Boston Terrier. You got a call, Steve. He's all mad. He's mad at you? Well, he just doesn't understand that it's all good. He thinks that I'm saying that Echo can't come. Did you, was he listening? No, I asked if he would reconsider so that we could go. You're a monster. You are a monster. You're a monster. Just leave him in the car with a window crack. Mike, first you tell him you're not picking him up. Then you tell him, okay, I'm coming with everyone else, but then your dog can't come. Listen.
I'm upset, Mike. He used to punch me in the face. Used to. It's about to start again, I have a feeling. It's different when it's your brother. Hello? I, of course, want Echo to come. I want Echo to come. I don't think I don't want Echo to come. She's coming. I'm just trying to figure out if there's, maybe we could take her to a restaurant. Have you ever taken her to a restaurant? Can you take her to a restaurant? I think you can. I think a patio, yeah. Yeah. We go to some place where they got, like, those heater things. There's nice restaurants that have those big... Hey. Yeah. Am I on the radio? Yeah. Hi, Steve. Hi, Steve. Yeah. You're so lucky I didn't cough. I know it. I was thinking that, too. I know it. But they have those... You know what I'm talking about? I can tell when you're on the radio, dude. You can? It's a fake radio voice. I have a fake radio voice. Do you? No, because you're, like, really nice to me. You know what we were talking about the other day? Things that you've funny things that you have thrown. Steve, do you remember any funny things that we have thrown at each other? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Steve and I have thrown some things back in the day. We used to get in some knockdown drag outs. Yeah. Oh, yeah. See, and that's a thing that I don't think Rebecca quite get. Rebecca didn't have any brothers and sisters. She has no idea.
What's coming? And I think she's going to think it's like something's really wrong. Our friend CB said that, you know, they had two daughters and then their son, Barak, was born. And he's about Jake's age, about four, turning five. And his wife, Amy, was like, dear, something's like, I don't know what's wrong with him. But the girls were playing Barbies, and he came, and he was trying to smash the Barbies. And he's like, yeah? And she goes, well, why would he do that? Because he's a boy. He's a boy. Yeah, that's what he does. That's what they do. Boys like to beat up on stuff and do crazy stuff. Kim's an only child, so when we had all our kids and our battles were ensuing and things were breaking and being set on fire, she's like, this isn't normal. I'm like, no, it's just pretty normal. This is what kids do. This is it. There's going to be a day. Where, like, well, Luke will throw something, obviously. And Ryan is going to have to get stitches because, like, a coaster got thrown at his head. And Rebecca is going to be like...
Obviously, there's something criminal wrong with him. He's criminal. By a coaster, you mean an empty bottle of Jack Daniels. Yeah. No, Luke, it'll be like an ice pick. Yeah, ice pick. Rebecca's an old child, right? Yeah. And she's a girl. Yeah. So having three boys is going to be so much. They're going to fight. They're going to fight. Your brother wants to talk to you. Yes, Steve. That was awful. What happened? Awful. What happened? Awful. I was seven. How old was Steve? Well, he's eight years older. So he's 15. 17. You're 17. I had to take him. I had to take him. I was watching him, and I had to take him. No. You're eight years apart? We're eight years apart. You're seven. Oh, boy. He's 15. Okay, then I must have been eight. I must have been eight, because he was about 16. What happened? I got a chart back. He's like, will you let me talk? I'm out of here. Don't big time me. I'll big time you. You tell him when he answers. You don't hang up on me, pal. I hang up on you. And then hang up. That'd be so funny. I can't. I have a heart. Adam on Facebook. Steve Esparza. I did. I wasn't just talking to you. Oh, but you were looking right at me. I know, but there's M1s and I look at you. All the time. Longingly.
Sounded like you said Adam on Facebook. Who's this Adam guy? AT&T. They're a sponsor. I love my AT&T iPhone. So do I. This guy. I love him, dude. He's the best. He is a bull in a china shop. He's like me. Why do you think me and Steve-O get along? We're driving in the car. client, but I'm just saying, dude. Yeah, we're driving in the car. I'm blasting cigs. We're just cursing, talking about chicks the whole time. Mike's in front of us. I'm like. So I was eight years old and my parents went out of town and they left me with Steve and he was in high school and it was during Halloween. So he takes me to a. beer keg like rager perfect rager and what they did was they built it inside of a old abandoned house out in the middle of nowhere there was no power so they were using like generators to put up creepy lights and they redid all the rooms of like they made it into they had a girl in a nightgown just like the exorcist and they're all getting drunk and stuff and steve takes me and i'm
I'm like, he's fine, man. He's fine. It's all right. And it was his friend. It was your friend. It was your friend. I think it was Scott Thomas. It was Scott Thomas. It was Scott Thomas. I love Scott Thomas. I love Scott Thomas. He's hot. He is hot. Scott Thomas walked me outside, and we sat on the bed. of the pickup truck, and he was nice, and he stayed with me until Steve was done. Can I tell you another great Steve story? Yes. The lake? No, I almost died. No. He just laughed. Steve will probably not remember this, or maybe you will. It was when Steve used to have to watch me. He used to have to watch me a lot. And so he took me with him because his job in high school was my dad let him. Oh, remember?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad let him be like the janitor. Yeah. And Steve got paid to like go to the office and clean it up, right? And so I wanted to go with Steve everywhere. So he takes me with him and we go into the place and he's cleaning the place and I'm like tagging along behind him everywhere. And he opens up a door and the alarm to the place goes off, right? Great job, janitor. And what is anger? Hurt, sadness, and fear. Okay, well, Steve was experiencing fear. Yeah. Okay? And I was so scared that I started crying with this big alarm, and I went to, like, hug him. Well, he was afraid. So he goes, ah! He, like, shoves me. And I go flying across the room. Okay, you want to know my version? Yes. Here's my version. The alarm goes off. I'm cool and collected because I know the alarm's going off. Mikey freaks out crying like the kid on the plane. So I'm like, dude, really? Shut up. And then he just cries even more. I'm just going to put you in the haunted house. Oh, wow. Do you guys remember when we lived in Georgia? You would turn the plastic mats upside down and then call me inside. And the plastic mats had those little spikes on the bottom. I come running in the house.
And I'd run on those spikes. What do you do when you fall down on your knees? And that one was Steve, Mark, and Sam. They all laughed. They were all doing that. If you had a video of that, we'd win $1,000. Are you the youngest? Yeah. Oh, it's coming. Oh, man. Steve would get me. Steve hit me. Our worst fight ever. I was with a girl, Krista Long. I was nine. With a girl? Speaking of House of Cards. Now, to Steve's defense, he had told me not to mess with whatever I was messing with, and I didn't care. I messed with it. In his room or something? In his room. Don't mess with this. My Aerosmith album. Don't mess with my Aerosmith album. Right. And I messed with this. And not only did I mess with whatever it was, but I broke it. Oh. Now, if he had come to me and I hadn't been sitting with a girl. I would have been freaking out saying I'm sorry. But because I was with a girl, I was trying to act cool. Tough. Right. Steve's on crutches. Do you remember, Steve? Oh, yeah. Comes in. He's on crutches. Dude, don't get me fired up. I don't want to relive that. And he goes, you broke my blah, blah, blah. And I'm trying to be a tough guy. And I go, I don't care. Oh.
Dead. And he didn't even think about it. He's on his crutch and he goes, boop. With the crutch. With the crutch. Waxy with the crutch. Just bops me over in the head. Oh, my God. And I was like. Did you cry? Out cold? Cry. Oh, you were out? No, not out cold, but yeah, cried. And she was like. Oh, my God. Yeah, last time I ever saw Crystal Long. Oh, my God. Yeah, way to go. You're too young to be hanging out. Nine years old. C-blocking your brother real good. No, yeah. Me and Steve, we got into it. My brother hit me with a baseball bat in the hip. Are you serious? Full swing in the hip with a baseball bat. Metal baseball bat. Man, brothers get into it. And I threw him into a dryer, and we broke a door. You did? Oh, yeah. And I threw him hard into the dryer. Yeah, sisters are the same, though. I got hit in the head with a shovel three different occasions. I got stitches each time. With a shovel? With a shovel. Ding! Holy cow. Six stitches two weeks later. Ding! Wow. It freaks you out, man. You think to yourself, you're surprised that siblings don't mess each other up real well. Yeah. Yeah. I can think of so many. Oh, dude, we've had, my brother and I had a couple fist fights that are vicious. I bet, and you guys tell me if I'm wrong. I'm taking a guess, Lauren and Sienna, but I'm going to guess 96% of all sister fights have to do with clothes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 96%, is that a good number? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that's a pretty good guess. It's all about clothes. Yeah, my younger sisters fight about that. I was fighting with my brother, and it was usually my fault, and I was usually the one that would try to beat him. I broke a paddle over my brother one time. It was not good. But he threw a skateboard at me before. Always throwing stuff. My brother threw an iron, an iron at my head. Yeah, I worked at a bar. He was underage. I got him in, okay? Fed him drinks all night. He got hammered. He lived with me in Chicago for like... Three months. He comes home, and I'm like, yeah, you're welcome. This is my bid. I got home, and he was hammering. I'm like, yeah, you're welcome. And he's like, what F you? And we get in this fight. My brother was an all-state shortstop in Texas. Oh, wow. Okay? He knows how to throw an iron. He knows how to throw, dude. That kid threw an iron at me. I ducked, and it put... two-foot hole in the wall. Oh, my God. And we got into it, and I had him on the ground. He was hammered, thank God, because he's bigger than me. Oh, I know. Well, I was trying to kill him after that. We got in a fist fight, and I was punching him in the temple as hard as I could. Oh, my gosh. Steve and I have done that. Steve and I have done that. Oh, my gosh. I tried to kill him. Yeah. Steve, remember that time I was 14, and me and Steve got in a fist fight, and I was so filled with rage. Steve punched me, and I go, punch me again. And he was like, bam. And I punched me again. Bam. I go, I don't care. Punch me again.
We would get in these crazy, crazy fights. And then it got to a point where we just didn't fight anymore. We never fought anymore. Same with us. Did you hear that, Steve? Mike said he beat you up. Is that true? Yeah, look at that little scar to the left of his temple. Oh, wow. It's true. I'm looking at it right now. It's true. I love it. That's Mikey beating me up. Oh, my gosh. Hey, but, hey, Steve, you got to admit, that time in the kitchen, I got you pretty good. Oh, yeah, dude. That one time. And I was like, I was like, it was like the thrill of Manila. He hit me and I was like, you can punch. What hit me off the most was he looked at me and he goes, yeah, I can hit back now. Right, mother effort. And this was the last. Hey, listen, let me tell you. Let me tell you how dramatic it was. It was so dramatic because Steve left and your parting words, your parting words were, you're not my brother. She takes a bow. Yeah, yeah. We ever act like it's days of our lives? Yeah, seriously.
It's like Dynasty. You're trying to destroy me. You're no longer my brother. You're not my brother. You are not my brother. You're no longer my brother. I hate you. Yeah, what is it? The Corleone family? Yeah, seriously. You're not in the family anymore. I met my sister with a spoon in the eye and she started hyperventilating and saying she was blind and my mom was like, you better hope she's not blind. Oh my gosh. Oh, my God. That's the greatest. If you may have blinded your sister. Oh, my gosh. That's great. All right, dude. We'll bring Echo. We'll figure it out. We'll go have dinner somewhere nice. All right. See you at the airport, pal. We'll see you tonight. All right, dude. All right, man. Bye. There's got to be a place. It won't be bad, Woodsy, because Woodsy got a look on his face like, oh, it's going to be cold. It won't be. It won't be. They'll have, like, clean my. Freaking car. Oh, go get it detailed. No. Why? If I can take some of my winnings and go get it cleaned. Winnings. Mike is paying Woods to drive. He's paying me to drive. And he has to go. And then he's going in the car and will probably pay for dinner. Should there be a part of me that's like, maybe just give the guys money back. Should there be? No. Because eventually we'll get to this email, my boss wants to be my buddy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
So much, in fact, that he pays me to be his buddy. How much? 60 bucks? Be my friend? What does that get him? It didn't even get me. He's like, yeah, I'll take the 60. I'm going by myself to get your brother. Oh, boy. You know, you don't even, Mike, you don't have to go to the airport. You can always meet him at dinner. Yes. You absolutely could, dude. Just stay home with Rebecca and then meet him at dinner. I'll just pick Rebecca up. Yeah, there you go. Then he misses Quality Woods time. Mike, it's okay. He's just joking. He's just joking. Lauren. Oh, for crying out loud. Okay, let's do something else. Should we? Should we break? Let's take it to the house. What time is it? It's 9.20. Let's break. We got a break. We have all kinds of stuff coming now. We got new releases. We can play a game. I want to talk about turkey stuff. Let's play a game. All right. Want to play some TomTom tunes? Yes, let's play some TomTom tunes. I want to talk about Cyber Monday, too. And Black Friday. L.O.B. To me, it's just Friday. Alright, if you want to play TomTom tunes, call us. All three of you. 570-1949.
My brother wants to finish watching Crazy Heart. I will watch it. I learned this last night. So good. Played it about 150 times on my guitar. This is what Steve, the brother that you just heard, I said, you got to see this movie Crazy Heart. He goes, I don't want to see it. He's like me. I go, I go. I said, why not? He goes, because it looks all artsy. I go, it's not artsy. So not artsy, dude. It's about as bare bones as you can get. That's what I said. And he goes, is it an independent movie? And I go, no, it's not. And he goes, it's been overblown. People have talked about it. I don't want to see it. Yeah, you guys have way oversold it. Have we? Yeah, I'm not going to see it. It's so good. You haven't seen it? No. You're a D. What is the matter with you, Jay? It's like, oh, you guys go on and on about it. You're a big rooster-headed D. Pists are headed. Yes. Cock-a-doodle-doo. Listen, so I go, I made a deal with him. I go, let me put it on for five minutes. I go, if we watch five minutes of it and you don't like it, then fine, we'll turn it off. And all Jeff Bridges had to do was pour the pee out of the thermos. No, it's a milk jug. And Steve was like, oh, this is great. Oh, it's brilliant. It's great. It's a great film. It gets you right from the very beginning.
Yeah. Good. No. Jay, you'll like it. Please watch it. Do you like Big Lebowski? It isn't. It's like a heartfelt Big Lebowski. It's a man's movie. Okay. Maybe. Just watch it yourself. How do you feel right now? Are you annoyed that he's saying that? Yes. Because he sounds like you. That's what you do to Mike always. He watched the freaking Time Traveler's Wife. Now he knows. And he won't watch Crazier. Well, that's a good movie. He wants me to watch a French foreign movie. I don't want to watch it. This is a man, American country singer. I know. What? Say it. Say it. Release your fists. Go ahead. Mike. Say it. Be honest with me. Yes. Have you really? Yes, I have. You have. Yes. Really what? Seen The Professional. Have you really? That was a great movie. Natalie Portman in her little bowl cut. I've seen it. It's weak. That was a great movie. Have you seen La Femme Nikita? No. Of course not. Only La Femme Nikitas have seen La Femme Nikita. Exactly. It's badass. You can't call something with femme in the title badass. La Femme Nikita. It's like the ballerina is badass. Incredible.
It really is. Okay, I'll try it. Great action movie. Okay. Who's in it? All French actors. Oh, fabulous. Yeah, I can't stand it. Already. Dude, it's great, man. You like great action movies, no? Not really. I'm more of a suspense slash drama slash biography slash comedy guy. Wow, that's a lot of slashes. You are drama, that's for sure. I am drama. Yes. I can't get you with any of these. Slasher. I'm not an action or a slasher guy. I'm not like, ooh, the new Stallone is out. Documentary? Do you like documentaries? Love documentary. You don't like guns and stuff? Not really. Oh, dude, I love guns going off. I mean, it's such a dire bit. I like rockets. Do you like long walks on the beach? I like long walks on the beach. I love long walks on the beach. Do you like enchiladas? Chardonnay. Rocket launchers? Karate? No. No. I like the Karate Kid. Dude. I don't like, I never liked Schwarzenegger movies, ever. And I mean, people like- What about Kindergarten Cup? That was actually decent. And Twins, I liked. Your wife says you watch the same movies over and over and over again. I do. Bro, Crazy Heart's on cable now. Every day this week I've watched it. I go home like, ooh. Hey, speaking of roosters, Lauren, did you have a tattoo removal yesterday? Oh, yes. Oh, my gosh, dude. I want to hear about this so bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's taking the rooster on her ankle. It's going to be a multi-step process. But, turns out, I have something in common with Kim Kardashian. What?
We both went to the same. Giant ass. That. We both like black guys. Yes. And we both went to this place called Laser Away where I don't know what she got done there. Probably something fancy. But I'm getting my tattoo removed and I had my first treatment yesterday. How do they do it? With lasers. It's gnarly. Is it like a gun? Yeah. And does it go bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop? Uh-huh. It goes t-t-t-t-t-t. And there's sparks that come off of there. Not sparks. Like little zap. Do you smell burning? Not really, no. Do they rub any kind of ointment on there? They put an ice pack on there, and then while they're lasering, there's also this little thing that blows cold air. So I know it sounds stupid, but after I got the first go at it, I was like, oh, that's painful, but not...
actually not worse than the tattoo itself than the tattoo gun easier than the tattoo yeah then my skin just got used to it especially with the little cooling thing that they were putting on there and i was like oh this isn't that bad but i couldn't they have to give you glasses because you can't stare right at the laser and i couldn't i thought i'd be like grossed out they give you like stress balls to hold and i was like i'm all right i need to who was he What's that? No, it was a girl. The balls. Oh, the balls. The balls. No, they were just. The guy's name was Stress. Stress. Stress. He's got a tough job, I'm telling you, right now. They don't put on like a movie or anything like that to keep you entertained? No, I thought I found something in the room. I found this green apple lotion, and I was like, all right, I'm going to stare at that the whole time because I need something to look at. But I was watching my skin, like watch the whole thing happen. It's cool. How many sessions will it take? It depends. You have to see, like you have to wait for about four weeks is when the inks, because it breaks, what the laser does is it breaks up the ink and then it has to go through your like limb system and like get all. Once it breaks up the ink though, doesn't the ink just stay there? No, the ink is coming out. It's pulling it out. And are they dabbing it out as it's like melting or how does it? They're like basically, I mean, I don't know the.
full process but they're basically like heating your skin like like lasering the skin and then it's the ink is getting all like broken up and going back in through your system then your system has to like get work it out so it won't start really fading until about four weeks and then they'll know if it's going to be like six sessions or if it might be eight sessions or something like that i want this flaming softball off my back it's not it's really not that bad and they said to me they said well let you know she she was like oh my gosh you you know you did a great job you're amazing but she said that If you want to, you can get numbing cream. You can come in before and you add like a half an hour before and add it. And I was like, no, I'm fine. Really? So when I go in next time, I don't want the extra half an hour. Do you ever say no to special creams that might help you with some of your ailments? No, it wasn't about. I mean, if it hurt, I'd be like, I don't care what's in it. Give me Agent Orange if it's not going to. But it wasn't bad enough for me to feel like I like. I needed to get the numbing cream. It's an extra half an hour that I feel like I don't need. Is there a part of you that's going to miss the rooster? No. Not at all. Not at.
oh i'm so happy like when they were first doing it it makes it fade so it made it look like like it was gone already and i was like oh my gosh it's working and she's like now that is in about like you know a couple minutes it's gonna raise back up but i was like i had like a flash of what it's gonna look like when it's gone and i'm so excited awesome i wonder how the guy that tattooed it wonder what they would think like you know like oh great they are basically going through a lot of pain to remove my work. I know. That's how bad I am. Yeah. No, no, no. Not how bad I am, but like how much she hates it. Well, they all come. They were like, oh, are you sure you want to remove that? That's cute. And I was like, yeah, that's the problem. It's cute and it's cartoonish and I'm going to be 30 in a couple weeks. And it's six inches tall. Yeah, exactly. One big rooster. One big C on your leg. 570-1949-M1-Philippe from, or is it Felipe? All right. All right, you ready to play a little TomTom tunes with us? You know that. All right, cool. What we're going to do is we're going to have the TomTom girl read you some lyrics for about 20, 30 seconds, and you will have to give us the title or the artist.
in order to win, okay? And either one is acceptable. The name of the song or who sings the song is acceptable. Here we go. I will be over it and you tell me time and again, but you are late. I wait around and then I run to the door. I cannot take anymore. It is not you. You let me down again. Baby, baby, I try to find a little time and I will make you mine. Can you give me title or artist on that? One more time. I'll give you a little bit. A little bit. A taste. I will be over at 10. You tell me time and again, but you are late. I wait around and then I run to the door. I cannot take anymore. That was a TomTom GPS device reading the lyrics of a song. Give me title or artist. Take a guess. It was Build Me Up Buttercup. By the foundation. Zero idea. I had no fear. Great song, man. Great song. That's a good song. Build Me Up, Buttercup. M1 Audi from Bay Park. Yeah, that's me. How you doing? 20 to 30 seconds to figure this one out, and here we go.
You put the boom, boom into my heart. You set my soul sky high when your loving starts. Jets your bug into my brain. It goes a bang, bang, bang till my feet do the same. But something is bugging you. Something ain't right. My best friend told me what you did last night. Title or artist to win M1 Audi. Oh, man, it's on the tip of my tongue. I know that. These ones are hard. Lucky. Man, I don't know. R.E.M. Sorry. It was Wham. Wake me up before you go-go. I'm surprised that I didn't know he was a homosexual. I didn't suspect. I didn't. I really didn't.
Because you put the boom boom into his heart. The white jeans didn't give any indication. The pencil thin beard. Did the pencil thin beard, five o'clock shadow and mirror like CHP glasses. Or earring dangling. Or the dude with his hand in his pants. That was a dead giveaway for me. That did indicate that something was, you know. But then, I don't know. Anyway. M1 Boos from San Diego. You ready to play? I am. First, though, I want to say, hey, Woods. Yo. Congratulations, brother. Thank you, dude. I appreciate it, man. Absolutely. Congratulations, Woods. Thank you, man. Thank you. Thank you, man. Yeah. All right. Boos, you got 20 to 30 seconds. We just need title artistry to win. Here we go.
Desert loving in your eyes all the way. If I listen to your lies, would you say, I am a man without conviction. I am a man who doesn't know how to sell a contradiction. You come and go. Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, chameleon. Title or artist boost to win? Chameleon. Nice. There we go. There we go. Yet another of the 80s. Gay or not gay. Surprise, surprise. I had no idea that Boy George was gay. You couldn't tell by the mascara? More than lively. Lipstick. I couldn't tell by the mascara, the lipstick. I couldn't tell by the eyeshadow. The pressed powder. Him trying to kiss me. Couldn't tell by the dress. Him actually kissing me. Yeah, open mouth. You ever seen the E! True Hollywood story about him and the drummer and all that stuff? Yes, all the love affair. It's so gross, dude. How about in Wedding Singer when that guy will only do time? Give me time. Never seen it. Such a clown. Mike! It's so good. You haven't seen the classics. It's so funny. Oh my gosh, you would love that movie. It is so funny.
It's so good. It's so funny. I've decided, I don't think I like comedies. I don't think you do. I don't think I like comedies. If you like Woods, you'd like that movie. Comedies don't make me laugh. You do comedy for a living. You are a sad, strange little man. There's only a few comedies that I really like. I loved, loved, loved Swingers. Swingers was funny. Clerks was really funny to me. So you don't like slapstick so much. I don't like formulaic comedy. Something about Mary? Brilliant. Airplane? Something about Mary got me, and it was because of the zipper. Oh, yeah. Bring some beans. Bring some beans. Yeah. How'd you get the beans about the Frank? What's that bubble? And, you know, things would make me laugh. Like, the stuff that I've laughed hardest at in movies. It wasn't even comedies. Pulp Fiction. Oh, yeah. I died. Christopher Walken does the watch bit. Yes. Oh, my gosh. It's the only place it would go. The only place it would go. Now this watch is yours. That, I laughed so hard I was embarrassed. Oh, yeah. Me too. I was embarrassed in the theater. I loved it. But comedies, like, I'm not into Adam Sandler movies at all. We tried to watch some Dumb and Dumber, and he was looking at the screen like, when is this going to be over? It's so brilliant. I think if I had been there during the time.
I probably would have been all in. Yeah. You were sitting in a bar somewhere. Probably. It was early 90s. Yeah. It was no good. You don't like science fiction, do you? No. No. Get. You ever seen The Thing? Like when I was five. With Kurt Russell? Yeah, scary. Terrible. Back then. I was a little kid. It's good. Great. Was good. I got these movies. I want him to see them. He won't. He won't. Ditto. Vice versa. How about I watch something you, and then you watch something mine? Fine. What do you want me to watch? Wedding Singer. It's really funny. When are you guys going to get a room? I know. Let's make it right. Should we leave? Are we interrupting? Let's get out of here. Just trying to be dynamic. Build chemistry. Are we interrupting? Trying to have some chemistry. Trying to have some chemistry. Maybe with the rest of the show, too. Yeah. Maybe we invite you. Someday we'll go. Remember, it was so obvious to us then.
So whose attorney was on Good Morning America yesterday defending her client against criminal charges and also throwing in that this person is one of the best actors on the planet. Do you agree? Is it a male actor? Is it a female actor? There's some new releases, too. Don't go away. Are Kings going to play right now? Yeah, they're playing right now. Let's see. Kings and Leon are about to play on Today Show. Oh, dude. Hope no pigeons fly over. Yeah, that'll be the end of the show. Be quiet and enjoy it. They'll be like, we're done. I've never heard him live, so we're going to... Oh, have you not? No, this is happening right now. Dude, he sounds good live. I told you. Grown women look like they're going to cry. I had no idea he looked like that. Oh, yeah. Didn't used to. Wait till you see the bass player. He's got a beard and a mustache. Yeah. Very nice. Looks like a priest or something. They do sound good. Put a top hat on him. He looks like Abe Lincoln. Yeah.
I don't know why I'm surprised, but I'm really surprised how great they sound in a live format. Every time. I don't know why they're doing this song, though, because they have a new record out and they're doing an old song. That's the one everyone knows. Yeah, they're going to do two songs. Yeah, they're going to hook everyone with the one that they know. Well, if by they're going to hook everyone with the one that everybody knows, you mean that the Today Show producers said, yeah, sure, we'll have you on, but you've got to do an old one. You've got to do you, somebody. He just showed the bass player. And I go, ooh. And Woods looks at me, how hot is he? And I mouth skinny. And he's like, no. My wife adores him. I go, all right, if you ever had the chance, have a ball. Oh, my God. Yeah, have a ball. You like him more than the girls. He's repulsed. He's on the list. He's on our list. It's okay. He's good looking. It's not my thing.
Girls 10 in the audience. He spun out from that. Because I'm going, he doesn't mean it. Freebie. Freebie with Jared. Yeah, with Jared Followell, she can have a freebie. Because it'll never happen, that's why he's saying it. No, I'm not really in on him. Woods is 100th. He is all the way in. His pockets are too low. His pockets are too low. The top of his pockets start at the bottom of his cheeks. Hey dudes, you hearing this? That's what women are thinking. Yep. Like, you may have lost a chick because your freaking pockets are too low. He's wearing really, really skinny jeans with the pockets. He has, like, his hair is out of control. Trying really hard to look like you don't try. Yes, that's it. No, they know they try. Now, the singer I'm in on, because it seems like he's like, yeah, I don't really care. Yeah, I love him. Yeah, Caleb's a man. He's himself. That's rad. There you go. That's pretty cool. Pretty good. Thanks, Mike. You just made my day. You bet. I've got to see my boyfriends. Would you love to be in New York City in that audience? I would do anything to be. Would you rip open your shirt and show your chest? Maybe, but I would want to be in that band. Put me in the background, just picking a little bit. You could not be in the background. You would push the lead singer out of the way and be like, yeah! Do you, Scott Weiland dance? See this girl, Woodsy? See this girl? I do. She was...
a model or something. I don't remember what, but she was in the studio with us about four years ago. And I was interviewing her. And I said, I said, now, and I meant it. I said, now, do you have a boyfriend? She said, yeah. And I said, so how does a guy get you? Like, what did it, you know, what did he do? What did he say? We're walking through that process. And I said, what does he do? She goes, he's in a band. And I said, a band that we know. She goes, no. And I go, see, I go, even guys in unknown bands. I said, well, what's the band called? So we'll know. She goes, it's called Kings of Leon. Oh my gosh. She was dating a lead singer. Yeah, Caleb. Yeah. Is that his fiance now? I don't think so. How do you remember that, but you can't remember what page something's on and they're on the array. Four years ago, Jay. Don't know. Four score. When I was in college.
He's reaching for the guitar right now. When I was in college. If Coach could just put me in. If Coach just put me in. No. And even my wife will tell you. When I was wooing my wife, I would leave this thing leaned up against the wall. And, you know, they walk in. They go, oh, do you play? And you're like, yeah, play a little bit. You left it purposely. Yeah, of course. A lure. Pick in there. Maybe some music sheets around. She's like, oh, do you play? I'm like, yeah, play a little bit. She's like, well, why don't you play me something? I'm like, all right. Next thing, panties on the floor. I never date anyone that could do that. Start singing that first song to her. This is it. And she was like, okay. My clothes are coming off. In. All the way in. And I'm not the sharpest dude in the world. Imagine if you're real good looking like those guys and you play and you have a deal. Imagine. Yeah, you probably do pretty well. You do okay. Little ladies. Yes. It's funny because he's fat. 5701949. Lovely and talented Hillary is not in today. It's the lovely and talented Jeremy who's going to be coming in today. Doesn't have the same ring as the lovely and talented. He is talented. But he is talented. He made me some Belgian beer. Was it good? Home brewed. It's on ice. I'm going to drink it with my meal tomorrow. There you go. You can call us, 5701949, at the beginning and end of every show. We do open phones, so you can call about anything that you want to.
Hope you have a good Thanksgiving. Hope everything's well. Hope you have fun. Any of you guys doing anything? Are you doing... I have a gig on Saturday down in Ocean Beach. What is it? It's a comedy show. And Joey Coco Diaz is going to be headlining it. He's on Joe Rogan's podcast, and he's hilarious. He's been in movies, fancy stuff like that. You think any of those people in that crowd have been hitting the ball real strong that night? I think so. Down at Winston's in OB, 7 o'clock on Saturday. OB crowd, so I'm guessing yes. Okay, so before we went to break, I told you that there was an attorney who was... talking about how her client is innocent of any criminal charges and is one of the best actors on the planet. I am confident that the New York Police Department and the Manhattan District Attorney's Office will see this for what it is, which is a complete shakedown of one of the, you know, best actors on the planet. And all this woman is after is money, and she's not going to get it. Charlie Sheen's attorney speaking yesterday.
In the case with Capri Anderson. Capri. Or Capri. You say Capri. You can say Capri. Capri. Preach their own. He's okay. He'll be a clown, you can. It's totally untrue. It's complete fabrication. And it's just a pack of lies. She is a hooker. No. Maybe he shouldn't be hanging out. He is a drug addict. You said that Charlie was going to pay Capri $12,000. for sex, and then after the night went amiss, he offered her $8,000 more. Isn't that right? Well, again, there were a number of text messages back and forth. She was complaining that she didn't get paid for the evening, that there was her purse. He was going to pay her $12,000 to have sex? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. I'd have sex with him for $12,000.
So much money. It was missing or it was damaged. And Charlie said, listen, whatever money you're out, I'll be more than happy to pay you. And that's the extent of it. But he did hire her for sex. She denies that. No, she wasn't hired for sex. She was hired to be. Oh, boy. Yes. What are we, kids? I know that you're an attorney. I know you have to say what you have to say, but we're not little kids, man. Don't treat us like we're little kids. Entertainment for the evening. She was present at the dinner. She went back to the hotel room with him, but there was never a sexual encounter and there was never money exchanged for sexual acts. Of course not. Because that's illegal. Of course not. Why would he need to? He could go up to any woman, just about any woman. Why do you need to pay for it? The old bit, they've asked guys before, they say, you don't pay them for sex, you pay them to leave. I'm not kidding. I'm not trying to be a D. That's what they say. Because they're professionals and they're going to hang around. That makes more sense to me. You're paying them to leave. Now even professionals just won't leave.
What's this world coming to? Plus, maybe he gets a little bit of a power thing, like a rush being out of like, I bought you. I bought you. Lady. Weird. All right, we got to go. Wow. So soon? That's right. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. The handsome and talented Jeremy is up next. Makes my mouth water. And we'll see you again on Monday when, by the way, we will be doing a tradition. We'll hear. The absolute worst Oh Holy Night you've ever heard in your life. Have a great time. We'll see you again on Monday. Mikey shows out.