The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/29/10

0:00Oh, holy night. It is the night of our dear Savior's birth. And lay the world in sin and error high. Till he appeared and the soul felt a thrill. Oh, man, the weary world. This is a sharper note coming up here. That's a little... That one was a little bit. Passion. Get up there. Big build up, this part. Bring the house down, buddy. Bring it home.

2:18Maybe out of his range. It may be out of his range. Uh-oh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Go for it. Good idea. Good idea. Just go for the lower range. A little pitchy dog. Do you have a little back story on that for me? Yeah. YouTube. Guy singing at a church. In front of people. In front of people. Got his chance and made the best of it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just take another breath and then finish the note. Was there any clapping from the congregation after? Yeah. Were his kids hiding under the pews? Yeah, of course. Wow. It's one of the treasures of the holiday season. That is a piece of gold. It's one of the treasures of the holiday season, and it is a tradition.

3:54And what it is is it means that it's the first Monday after Thanksgiving and it is officially time to bring on the shopping, the Christmas, the ho-ho-hos. Whoa, yeah. Perfect. Yeah. You're a married man. Oh, wow. Uh-oh. Meant something different. But, yeah. And so here we are. Christmas time is here. And I'm into it already. I'm playing Christmas music. Oh, boy. Me too. I'm in full effect. I'm about to, what I will do now is on the weekends, I'll get some cider and I'll put it in a pan. I won't even drink it. And I'll put cinnamon sticks in it and I'll just crank it on high to get the smell in the house. Your boyfriend likes that when you do that? All right. I understand. I understand where you're coming from with that. And, you know, the bottom line is that I got to create these Christmas memories for my boys. You know that they sell candles that do that, right? Hey, listen, LLB, you know me. I like to go all natural. Yeah. Original cinnamon apple cider. Yeah. It's so good. It is actually better for you than burning that candle wax. See? You see what I'm saying? I do. So there it is. I do not. Oh, come on. We got our tree and everything up last night. What? Christmas music. Trees up, decorated. We have ours up.

5:11You do? What is the matter with you people? We're waiting until Monday. We're waiting until a week from today because Rebecca said last year it dried out because we put it up too early. Ours is fake, and it is about five feet tall. Is it? Yep. Did you decorate it? I did not. It was decorated by the family, but I had nothing to do with it, and there's now garland going up my banister when I want to go to bed. Is there? Yep. Lit garland. Oh, wow. Wow. I'm Mikey. And I'm the host of the show. I'm 40. If you're a new listener to the show and you think to yourself, well, I want to know who these people are and get to know them. I wonder if they're anything like me. I am Mexican-American, although I do not speak Spanish. So I would be what's known as a coconut. They call me a coconut. Brown on the outside, white on the inside. Sound very white. And Woodsy is our sports guy. He is 35 years of age. And we're in a cool get-up today. Got my new DJs on. Do ya? And your Kings of Leon t-shirt. It's a great combo t-shirt. Brown, what do they call that? Waffle? Yeah, underneath.

6:35Thermal underneath. Thermal, waffle shirt, whatever. L.O.B. is otherwise known as Lauren O'Brien, and she's a stand-up comic, did a gig on Saturday night that went well in O.B. Killed it. And Sienna is not here today. Bummer. Sienna's our news girl, and she is not feeling good. I'm right here. I'm here. I'm here, Mike. What? Mom. Mom. So, yeah, she's out. She doesn't feel good. And Jay is our producer. He is 47. And he is a good cook. And saw some pictures on Facebook of his turkeys that look good. Hey, we ate them all. All four turkeys are gone. And what about our turkey dumplings? Okay, I'll reclaim that. There is just enough for your turkey dumplings soup. Just enough. He's making us some turkey dumplings. For tomorrow. There you go. I hope Finn doesn't need it today. No, I'll break his legs. Finn is one of four of your boys. Or three boys. No, two boys and two girls. There you go. Two and two. And our phone screen today is Will. It's Will. It's Will. It's Will. Will. You can call us, 570-1949. How was your break? How was your time? How was your thing? How did you like your little time off? Call us and tell us. And we are mourning the loss of Leslie Nielsen today, man. Yeah, we are. Leslie Nielsen died. How did he die? Pneumonia, I heard. Really?

7:5984 years old now. Oh, man. He is one of my favorites. He's one of everybody's favorites. He was so great. Airplane, the naked gun, police squad. Can you fly this plane and land it? Shirley, you can't be serious. I am serious. And don't call me Shirley. I love that. It's brilliant. It's absolutely brilliant. We've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital. A hospital? What is it? It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now. That guy's awesome. The best, man. Yeah, complications of pneumonia in a hospital near his home in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. That's sad. Let's listen to some more. How soon can you land? I can't tell. You can tell me I'm a doctor. I'm just not sure. But can't you take a guess? Not for another two hours.

8:55You can't take a guess for another two hours. I mean, we can't land for another two hours. I love it. What was it we had for dinner tonight? Well, we had a choice. Steak, fish. Yes, yes, I remember I had lasagna. Naked Gun. Let's listen to some Naked Gun. Ice Bieber. I just got it stuffed. It was a beaver stuffed on the wall. She's up on a ladder. She's climbing it now. One more time. Nice beaver. Thank you. I now have that. Nice beaver. Nice beaver. Nice beaver. I love it. How about dinner? I know this little out-of-the-way place that serves great Viking food. That's quite a tempting offer, Lieutenant. But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to get my rest this evening, tomorrow being Arbor Day and all. Of course. Well, perhaps some other time. How about a rain check? Well, let's just stick to dinner. Oh, that's so great.

10:22Oh, dude, Naked Gun, when she goes, they go out on that long date, and then they come home and she goes, how about a nightcap? He goes, no thanks, I don't wear them. I almost die laughing. I remember that airplane, first time we saw an airplane, like it hurt, we were laughing. Oh, yeah. I love the one, the toga's in the park, he shoots the guys in the park. Yeah, we got that. This is Naked Gun. I don't want any more trouble like you had last year on the south side. Understand? That's my policy. Yes. Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park and told you of a hundred people, I shoot the best. That's my policy. That was a Shakespeare in the park. You don't know Julius Caesar, you moron. Five weirdos. He, naked gun. It gets my dad. And when it gets your dad, it gets you too when you're a kid. When he's doing that umpire scene and make a gun. My dad busts a gun. And he does the knee slap. Rico Palazzo. It's so sad, man. Love the guy. I'm so bummed, man. My new Facebook picture is Leslie Nielsen. I don't know if the guy was still doing.

11:45movies or anything, but man, he was funny. One more. Let's do Police Squad. Right on time, Lamekins. Make yourself a drink, baby. No thanks, Dutch. Who are you and how did you get in here? I'm the locksmith. And I'm the locksmith. Who are you? How did you get in here? That's great. That's fantastic. So anyway, yeah, Leslie Nielsen is gone. Rest in peace. He's going to be moved. Rest in peace. Holy crap, he was funny. Okay, and then how about that Charger game last night, right? Man. That was pretty nice. Something special. Yeah. Chargers, listen, they got the Colts number. They do. They definitely have the Colts number. They do, and they got Captain Dumbface real good last night, man. Peyton threw four interceptions. They had five turnovers total. It was awesome. I think that the Chargers are just in Peyton Manning's head. Yeah. Yeah. He just has a real hard time against them. Yeah, he has traditionally, man, and he hadn't been really playing well the last couple of weeks. He's got seven picks in the last two weeks. You know, the Chargers went out.

13:05Okay. He was 19-23 for 185 yards, but didn't throw any touchdowns. More importantly, didn't throw any picks. Yeah. Just managed the game, fed it to Tolbert. Tolbert was awesome. Did 103 yards. You know, they had two pick sixes. Yeah. The defense, which is unbelievable. Four interceptions. Kevin Burnett got the first one, returned it for a touchdown. Touchdown against Manning, and he does it again. You see Ryan Matthews on the sideline rocking the Be Different wristband? That is awesome. Awesome. It was really great. I was watching it live. I was like, there it is, there it is. Yeah, the wristband on. It was great. You know, Be Different is a thing that is really cool. You know, the idea of this Be Different thing is really cool. You know, it occurred to me that with our culture, our culture can be kind of mean.

14:09You know, having a kid with autism really brought that home for me. And I just kind of had it in my heart to do something that would remind us that we can be different, make a difference, and that we can treat each other with kindness, that we can be different. And it's a pact that we all take together. And so there's a website called BeDifferentPact.com, and you can check it out there. Ryan Matthews is one of the guys that's a part of it, and he was rocking the wristband last night. It's very cool to see. Yeah, it was really great. It was really fun and cool to see him doing it. Huge show today, man. We are going to have Rick Springfield in the studio. How about that? I'm swooning. A lot of women in their 40s that are very excited to hear that. 30s, maybe? And 20s. Really? Yes. See, my brother and I debated this. My brother thinks so, too. Yeah. And I'm like, really? Women in their 20s know about Rick Springfield? Then again, I'll only be in my 20s for like three more days. Oh, boy. So maybe I'm skewing the scales a little bit. Yeah, she is. Her birthday's December 2nd. Yep. And also, the guy that wrote the book, The Perfect Storm, and also went...

15:40to a place called the Korengal Valley in Afghanistan, which is where the, it's the heaviest fighting, it's one of the heaviest fighting places in Afghanistan. And there's a documentary that is airing tonight called Restrepo. It's named after one of the guys that got shot and killed there. The medic. Yeah. And first three minutes of this thing, I put the DVD in. They sent me a copy of it early. I put the thing in. First three minutes of it, my jaw drops open. And I don't want to give it away because I want you to be able to see it tonight and just trip out. It's on the National Geographic Channel. What it's like to be in the middle of a firefight. A lot of these guys don't see firefights for days and days and days. But where these guys went in the Korengal Valley, there's firefights every day. And they told the guy that as he was feeling, the guy that was going to lead.

16:41the command going in there with his platoon, they told him that. And he's like, every day they're taking fire every day, five to six times a day. They're getting into firefights and your heart is beating so fast. Cause I've never seen actual, you know, like combat footage of guys in the middle of it where they're actually, where there's bullets firing by their feet. And it's, it's incredible. This is from the documentary. So intense. I just watched the trailer, and the size of the rounds that they're loading in these guns are insane. Yeah. It's a big valley, and they're having to protect the whole thing, and they're just getting rained down on. That's actual footage. What you just heard there is actual footage, and when you see it, your jaw drops open. I mean, it's an amazing, amazing documentary, and it's on tonight. We're going to have Sebastian Younger, the guy that actually is, I'm assuming, holding the camera while it's all going on in the middle of all that fighting.

18:01And so we'll have him on later. Word of the day today, by the way, is skunk. So sometime between now and 10, you're going to hear me use the word skunk. And when I do, when I work that into a sentence, caller number nine gets a four-pack to Legoland worth 316 bucks. You get a Mikey Show t-shirt and a pair of Anarchy and Angel sunglasses. So be listening for me to use the word skunk at some point today. Mikey Thon is so close. 28 hours of us broadcasting in a marathon for Rady Children's Hospital. And that is, man, it's coming up 16th, 17th. It's going to be insane. So get ready for it. Let's see. Thanksgiving came and went. I feel so much fatter. Me too. I really feel like I looked in the mirror this morning and I thought. Man, it looks like my face is bloated. It looks like they just found me underwater after three days. How many sandwiches did you have? Probably, you know, counting the mini ones, close to eight. I had four full turkey sandwiches. Four. Four. Plus a couple full meals of Thanksgiving. I've had turkey so many different ways. Turkey tacos. I've had turkey sandwiches. Have you? Tacos. I didn't think about that. Who do you? I ate like a whole pie.

19:22Did you? Yeah. What kind? Apple. With vanilla ice cream. Oh. Every time. Pumpkin. Had some pumpkin pie. Mm-hmm. Pumpkin, pecan. Chocolate. Pecan bars. Lime. I bet we're all much fatter. Oh, I know I am. I learned a new term, Dunlap. Do you guys know that? Dunlap over your belt? Yep. My belly Dunlap'd over my pants. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. We're all like, oh, my Dunlap, trying to reach for everything. Yeah. My wife wants to throw all the leftovers away. No. Yes. No. What do you do with them? You eat them. She thinks it's taking up space and all that. And I'm like, no. I want to eat it. Certain things you should get rid of. Like what? Like green beans. No. Those are not going to be good heated up after all this time. Oh, yeah. You put them in a bowl. And I like the ghetto green beans. I don't want, like, nice gourmet green bean casserole. Fancy. I don't want that. I don't want fancy. I want out of a can with mushroom soup, green bean casserole with the onions on top. That's what we make. Yeah. Delicious. But after, like, it's been what?

20:22Four or five days? Yeah, warm it up, put it on a sandwich. Gross! That's filthy. I put it on a sandwich with warmed up stuffing and put it on a sandwich. That's filthy. Stuffing you should toss. I'd keep the mashed potatoes, the turkey, and the cranberry sauce. That's it. I don't like cranberry sauce. Kim makes homemade cranberry sauce with cinnamon sticks in it. Crack. Would you already threw away your leftovers? We gave it away. Friend in need. Friend, you're a philanthropist. Yeah, I'm a philanderer. And you can always give yours to the dogs, too, like the turkey. Our dogs had a ton of food. No, I don't feed my dog scraps. No? That's a good idea. You can't have turkey? It tears you up. Really? Went to Yo Gabba Gabba yesterday. One of the worst times of our lives. Oh, why? Just absolutely awful. I saw the pics. Yeah, that was before it. Oh, gosh. What was it? The pics were, by the way, that when you walk in, they give you these glasses that you put on that look like 3D glasses, but they don't have any frames in them. And the reason is because the main character on Yo Gabba Gabba is DJ Lance, and that's what he wears. So we all had our glasses on. We're sitting down. We're really prepared to have a really fun hour of family. Who's there? Who's there? Me, my wife, Rebecca, my mother-in-law, Jean.

21:45And Jake, my four-year-old son. And the rest of San Diego and their kids. The rest of San Diego and their kids. And we're sitting there, and Rebecca asks if I could buy Jake one of these little glow sticks. And I do. He's sitting on Rebecca's lap. And lights go out, and Jake begins to become terrified. Oh, no. And scream and cry with tears popping out of his eyes. And he wants to go. Immediately, he wants to go. And we left. And how about this? When you leave, you have to go to customer service so that they know that you're not kidnapping a child. Oh, no. So we had to get through that. And then we realized that Grammy isn't with us, and she's lost, and we don't know where she is. Oh, no. So we're trying to find her, and that's a fiasco. She's backstage making it right. I guess. And then we get a phone call from Grammy, but by this time, Rebecca is standing at the front door of the sports arena, and I can see her. But now I got Grammy on the phone, so I want to tell Rebecca, hey, it's okay, I got her on the phone. So I go, Rebecca! And when I do that, it scares Jake, so he's crying again. Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. And so Grammy and Rebecca get back in the car, and now we're driving around trying to find the box office to get our money back.

23:16Kick ass. That's awesome. Did you get your money back? Yeah. Yeah, we were there for two minutes. You are kidding. Wow. And they gave you your money back? Yeah, because we didn't see any of the show. What about parking? Did you get your money back? No. You eat it. $15 for parking. I didn't know if you are going to leave a show like that, you can get your money back. Yeah, because you don't see any of it. They take mercy on you. That's great. Poor kid. Yeah, poor kid. I'm sure he wasn't the only one. There's probably a lot of kids that were scared by that. Yeah, I guess. Likes it on TV. Not live. Rebecca said, that's it. We're not going to do that anymore. No. Because we took him to see Thomas the Train one time. He didn't like it either. He doesn't like the live bit. He don't like the live bit. Neither does Dad. Yeah, Dad doesn't like it either. Dad's not really into the live bit either. I'm into the live bit. Just a brutal, poor kid. Silence in our car. I was going to say, how did he feel in the car? Fell asleep.

24:17He's so stressed out. He's exhausted. Oh, man. So were we. Poor little Curf. Oh, my gosh. Tough, tough time. Curfee. Curfee. Let's see. What am I forgetting? Are you guys doing anything crazy? Are you guys doing anything fun? I had the folks in town braved the outlet malls on Friday. I can't believe you did that. Put my be different to the test. Oh, wow. Real good. Yeah. Real good. You're like a stuntman doing that. Seriously. They're the people that go to those places on the Friday. Actually, we went Saturday. Jackals. Oh, yeah. Jackals. Jackals. Jackals that see a dead zebra across the way in the shape of a Banana Republic cashmere sweater. And old women will push you out of the way to get to that sweater. They'll do that on a Tuesday in February, but they're going to do that on Black Friday. Speaking of, when we come backwards, I want to hear about that, but I also have audio of a news report from Buffalo. Actual audio that will blow you away of crowds beginning to riot at like a Walmart, flipping out on Black Friday, just flipping out, losing their minds. Be different. Yeah, be way different.

25:44I give you props, Woodsy. You didn't get into any altercations. I bit my tongue real good. Oh, by the way, coming up next, Woodsy has this. There was an NFL player yesterday that dropped a pass, and after the game he went on Twitter and blamed God. Who was it? It's probably not who you suspect it is. Probably never heard of the guy. Yeah, you never heard of the guy. But Woodsy will tell you what he tweeted. It was crazy. Crazy. And did you hear about the fight that broke out between Andre Johnson and who's the dude? Courtland Finnegan. Oh, my gosh. Insane. It's all next on Woods on Sports. Time for Christmas music. So who was the player that dropped the pass yesterday, then went on Twitter and blamed God? It was weird. Woods is going to read you the tweet. It's weird. Got it next on Woods on Sports. Rick Springfield will be in the studio this morning. At 9.40. Word of the day is skunk. So when you hear us use that word, caller number nine is going to win a whole bunch of cool prizes. So Woodsy was talking about how he went to the outlet malls on Black Friday. Actually, it was Black Saturday. Oh, you went on Saturday? Saturday. And it was still gnarly? Still, dude. I know Banana was having a 50% off everything in the store sale. And it was...

27:47A nightmare. Did get two pairs of Banana Republic jeans for $70. Nice. These new ones. What do you think? They look great. Wow. Let me see the back. Question. Very nice. Looks great, dude. Weird. It looks really good, though. No, seriously, man. Your butt looks great. I'm just saying. From an objective standpoint. From an objective standpoint. But how does it feel? You got a great looking... I don't know, man. Get over there and feel it. Let's rock hard. Yeah, they look good. They feel good. I like them. They're comfortable. Let me see, dude. Let me feel your jeans. Come in, man. I'm right here. Oh, look at that. Sturdy in them things, man. It's disgusting. 35 bucks. That's cheaper than anything you can find. I always thought that the sales were a bit. Oh, no. They had cashmere sweaters in there for like, I mean...

28:41We live in San Diego. What do you need a cashmere sweater for? It's a little chilly today, but 50, 60 bucks is a $200 sweater. I thought Lauren would be there for sure. It was Black Friday. Oh, yeah. Hello. Heck no. She just calls it Friday. Yeah. I was at home celebrating. Just another Friday. Just another Friday. Just another Friday. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You love Black Friday. Nice Bieber. What the heck, Jay? Jay. How did that even, I don't even get the connection here. It's the greatest drop of all time. I did actually, I did watch a special on black comedy on Black Friday. Wow. That's a great, great thing for you. It was really, it was just ironic. It was not on purpose. Yeah. So I told you we were going to play this for you. It's a news report from Buffalo, New York. On Black Friday and people flipping out. Seconds after the doors opened, something went dangerously wrong. Crazed Black Friday shoppers began piling up on each other. Are you kidding me with that? That's real. When officials heard the screams, they ran over right away to help. Imagine going over, you go, excuse me, guys. Please settle down. Hey, guys, come on now.

30:22Can I get your guys' attention? Can you guys stop doing that, please? It was a lot of anger of people that were just jumping in after we waited patiently for our time. I actually started waiting for it. I got angry. Everybody was waiting in line. I don't pick that up. You've never been to Walmart before? What are you so excited about? After it happened, one man bent over in pain, but he took off into the North Buffalo Target store seconds later, along with everyone else. You seven years old? Yes. Explain to me. What's the... I know, okay, you get some deals. There's some deals there. I mean, there's some sales. Once they're gone, they're gone. Great. When they sell out, they're gone. What are they going for? They're going for... Christmas gifts? I'll give you an example. Of course, yeah. That's what they're doing. But I'll give you an example. Our friend Harold got a 47-inch high-definition television for $300. Wow. As opposed to what, about $600? Oh, probably more than that. Probably more, yeah. But he was there at 1 in the morning. Waiting. Yes. Till 5. Yeah, probably because they have about seven of those TVs, and when they're gone, they're gone. Yeah. So when that door opens, you be moving. Yeah.

31:42And they probably tell you don't run, and I'm sure everyone pays attention to that. I'm floored by that. That sounded like a war zone. That was insane. Some people have died on Black Friday before from stampedes like that. Yeah, they get crushed and stampeded. Listen to it again. Seconds after the doors opened, something went dangerously wrong. The Beatles. Yeah. Some people are, like, laughing. Really? Yeah, it sounds like that. Yeah. Sounds like that lady getting a tattoo. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Excuse me, guys. Settle down. You guys got to get form of a single line. So I went from control to a mob in less than five minutes, and then it just got nasty. Yeah, it did. You need a security guard there. Yeah. Paul Blart. I'm surprised. Dude, I'm surprised they didn't have it there. There is a sketch on Saturday Night Live where they did, and they were talking about, we're going to make the...

32:49The aisle's really narrow. And they just kept saying all the dangerous things about Black Friday. It's really dangerous. That's nuts. People can't stand the fact that they may miss out on that television. By the way, imagine, you know, you're that guy. Yeah, like this TV. We just sold the last one. You've been waiting since 1 a.m. in the freezing cold. BFMC went. My boyfriend, Matt Commerce. Yeah. He got me a TV on Black Friday. What? What? Got a ring. What? A plasma flat screen TV. Hi, Dad. Yeah! Oh, my gosh. The guy just went out and bought you a TV? Yeah, well, it's an early birthday present because my birthday's on Thursday. And your TV is a console TV that's made of wood. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly, with dials. But he was like, the night before on Thanksgiving, he kept saying, like, oh, I'm going to Guitar Center for Black Friday tomorrow.

33:49Nancy Drew over here. I was like, what are you getting? What else? How much is it for? What are the deals? When does it start? He's like, maybe you don't ask so many questions. Should I go with you? Well, how come he didn't wait until your birthday? Because it was Black Friday. He wanted to get the deal. I know, but how come he didn't wait until your birthday to tell you what he did? He was really excited and he didn't know where to put it. It was this giant TV. He went there for one size and they sold out of it. So he went for the bigger size. Yes. Yeah. So he really likes you. He does. Yeah, I think he's, you know. making some real strong moves here. That's a strong move. He went at like six or something like that. He didn't even go. And he said it wasn't that crazy. And then he came back to my house and he's like, so you're going to get up? I was like, leave me alone, babe. Come on. So I was like sleeping in, sleeping in. He's patiently waiting for me to wake up. So I will go into my living room and see the TV. He set it up and everything? No, it was still in the box. Is it awesome? She has no cable, so. Yeah, there's no cable. No. You guys can admire it, though. I mean, you just look at the television turned off. I brought one of those little HDMI cables, so I hooked my laptop into there. There you go. Yeah. And you watched some TV. The first thing I watched was a documentary on black comedy, of course. I had a Chris in the TV. Of course. And then I was inbound all weekend.

35:06It's just plugged into Netflix. It's awesome. Is it awesome? Oh my gosh. You love it. We're never going to see her again. BFMC coming real strong. Real, real strong. How many inches? The television. It's 42 inches. Wow. Big boy. It is. It's a big television. Isn't that a big television? It fits perfectly. You're such a crazy. I know, but you're a creep. No, but I would say that you're a creep if I were saying something. It really does, though. It fits that wall perfectly. I can't decide if I'm going to mount it or not. Is that right, LLB? I would mount it. Just going to keep going for him, huh? I don't think I'm going to. I think I'm just going to let it stand there and sit there. Yeah. Just, like, flaccid against the wall. Who says flaccid against the wall? You know, you can't force them like that. You know what's crazy is the television's got big balls. It's like, hello? The television is hung really well. See, actually, that would work. That's clever, you know? Do you just put it flaccid against the wall? Hey, it's Monday. What do you want from me? Come on now.

36:28570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call. Holy cow. And, all right, let's do something. I'm still trying to figure out how my machinery works. That's... Figure after 40 years you'd know what you're doing. Is it flaccid up against the wall? Where... What you looking for? Where's Woods and Sports? It should... I'm going to come in there. It's on your working page. There it is. First page. Yeah. Page one. The one you wanted me to keep everything on. Page one. Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Well, I want to get right to this story because this was crazy. Stevie Johnson plays. He's actually Steve Johnson, but it goes by Stevie. Plays for the Buffalo Bills, and he is a wide receiver, and they were in a battle with the Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday. Ryan Fitzpatrick drops back to pass. This is basically the game here. Cut to. Levitre with a nice block at the guard. Going deep. He's got Johnson. You could not have thrown a better ball in 100 tries. Perfect pass. This thing, we watched it this morning, LLB and I saw it. It hit him right over the shoulder, right in both hands, and just went right through the breath basket, dude. They were already celebrating. Oh, yeah. The other end of the field. It showed the people that were, you know, the people that stand in the end zone, they're holding mics or cameras, whatever. Sure.

38:14People dropped to their knees. They were furious. Right. And so they ended up losing the game in overtime. Yeah. So Stevie Johnson goes to his Twitter and writes this. He tweets, I praise you 24-7, and this is how you do me. Wow. You expect me to learn from this? How? I'll never forget this ever. Thanks, though. Yeah, you ever call the big guy out real good? Oh, my gosh. I mean, hey, man, it ain't going to get better for you, pal. Yeah, look out so the lightning doesn't. Wow. I will never forget this. I will never forget this. Hey, guess what, Stevie? Neither will he. Exactly. Then the smart ass at the end. Thanks, though. Did he write T-H-O? T-H-X-T-H-O. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Wow. You think he got any. Angry responses on Twitter. Maybe you take responsibility for you dropping that ball, pal, because it was, you couldn't have asked for a better phone ball. You just couldn't. You know, here's another thing, you know, and I've learned this recently. God doesn't care about everything. Right. He doesn't care. The bills. He may not care about your pass. I know. You know, he doesn't care about my fantasy football team. Exactly. He just doesn't. Obviously. Yeah. No kidding.

39:35Ever just leave 48 points on the bench? Yes, every week, Mike. Every single week. I left 48 points on the bench. I left 90-something last week. Well, the NFL scoreboard. The NFL was great. It was some great games. I watched all three games on Thanksgiving. The Patriots went over the Lions 45-24. The Lions hung in pretty well that game, but Tom Brady too much. Four touchdowns, 340 yards. He's ridiculous. Oh, wow. Roy Williams for the Dallas Cowboys gave that game away in the end. Was trying to get in the end zone when he didn't have to. Ended up fumbling the ball. The Saints come back and win 30-27. The Jets 26-10 over the Bengals, who are now 2-9 with Ochocinco and Terrell Owens. Which was supposed to be the magic combination. Maybe zip your lips, too, both of those guys. I've never seen guys that are 2-9 run more mouth. Yeah, maybe just play football. Play football, man. The Bears 31-26 over CDK and the Eagles yesterday. 8-3. The Bears are looking strong. Their defense is filthy. Mike Vick finally threw an interception in the end zone, which turned the game around. The Falcons over the Packers 20-17. The Ravens 17. The Buccaneers 10. This game was pretty gnarly. Andre Johnson and Cortland Finnegan. Andre Johnson plays for the Texans. Cortland Finnegan plays for the Titans. They had a brawl. And I'm not talking a football like pushing each other. I'm talking a street.

41:00took each other's helmets off. Yes. And Andre Johnson had Cortland Finnegan on all fours and was punching him. It looked like UFC. It did. It looked like UFC. Yeah, it was absolutely insane. So after the game, they asked Andre Johnson, hey, man, what happened? What are you thinking? Cut three. Like I said, I just lost my cool. I mean, that's pretty much it. I'm not going to keep sitting here talking about it. He's hearing his voice. You know, it got me nowhere. It got him nowhere. So I'm not going to. You know, he just keeps sitting here talking about him. You imagine that phone call, L.O.B., how you doing, girl? I know. Hey, baby, it's Andre. Hey, baby, doll. You see me beat the crap out of Cortland Finnegan? Yeah, baby, I saw it on replay. Why don't you come over right now? Got it. I know it's a four-hour drive, but why don't you just, if you start now, you'd be here by 2 o'clock in the morning. Bring that TV. Brett Favre finally got a win, 17-13 over the Redskins. The Giants beat the Jaguars 24-20. The Pittsburgh Steelers, as we talked about, beat the Bills 19-16. Oh, boy, this was a must-miss game. The Browns and the Panthers. The Browns won 24-23. Those Chiefs are looking scary, man. 42-24. Matt Castle, four touchdown passes. That's going to be tough. It's going to be tough for the Chargers. Those should be good games later in the season. The Dolphins, 33. The Raiders, 17.

42:19The Rams, 36. The Broncos, 33. That may have sealed Josh McDaniel's fate. There was a report over the weekend that he had a guy on his staff. The guy on his staff filmed a walkthrough when they were in London to play the 49ers, which you can't do. It's illegal. You can't film another team's walkthrough. Didn't the Patriots do that? Patriots did it. Well, this guy came from the Patriots, as did Josh McDaniels. So basically, the guy gave it to Josh McDaniels. McDaniels is saying, hey, I looked at it, didn't do anything with it. They lost the game anyway, but he cheated, and he didn't report it to the NFL, so he tried to cover it up. So losing to the Rams might be the end of Josh McDaniels as we know him. The Chargers 36, the Colts 14, great game all around. The defense was phenomenal. Peyton Manning picked off four times, and tonight's Monday Night Football must miss. The Niners at the Cardinals. Yeah, couldn't. Be a snoozier game. Yeah. Well. Oh, really? I know exactly where you're going. Eight long years. Eight long years. I have waited. I knew he was going to freak out. For this day, I was almost in tears Saturday night as my fighting Irish took down the mighty Trojans of USC. It's been eight years. 20 to 16. It's been eight years. Wow. Eight years. Was it quiet in your house? Just a pin drop? My dad and I. It was really cool to have my dad there.

43:48to watch that game. I'm getting choked up talking about it. Oh, wow. I'm not, but it was badass. Of course, I got the SC fan that wrote me. What's his dad played for Notre Dame? Yeah, so it's big in our house. I get the SC fan that wrote me and he goes, well, BS, of course you're a domer and you're going to hang your hat on that win because we had our backup quarterback and I go, hey, pal, we had a freshman quarterback in. He had three starts under his belt. We were at Southern Cal in the pouring rain. We had to meet you in eight years, and we got you, and I said, you're damn right. I'm going to hang my hat on that win. The last time I checked, a W is still a win. Yeah, a W is still a W. Man, what is – why – I've asked you before. I just don't get why they make such a big deal out of USC's head coach. Lane Kiffin. Right. Nobody does except for Lane Kiffin.

44:45Yeah, but I mean, to lose to Notre Dame as bad as Notre Dame played, turning the ball over four times was tough. His dad, my dad and I were doing bits Saturday night watching the game. Monty Kiffin is his dad, and he's the defensive coordinator, and the defense didn't play all that well against the Irish. Can you imagine? You're the head coach. You have to chew your dad out. Dad, get your head out, Daddy. Get your defense! Screaming at your dad. Dad! And your dad has to take it because you're his boss. Yeah, what are you going to do? It's hysterical. You think afterwards he's like, hey, you talk to me like that again. I'm still your father. I'm still your father. You're going to time out. Yeah. No, dad. No, 10 minutes. Time out. I'm the head coach. No, dad. I'm not going to. I'm the head coach. I don't care, son. I want 10 minutes right now, you in that bathroom. Dad, I won't do it. I refuse to do it. You know, you don't refuse to do it. You're going in the bathroom right now. Fine. Door closes. Two minutes later, he tries to come out. I said 10. I said 10 minutes. No, dad. I don't. Son, I'm going to take my belt off. One more time. One more time. I'm taking the belt off. You can't do it with your dad. It was awesome. It was awesome. Yeah. Listen to this story. In New York City, there used to be a rule. And the rule was that you could not wear tank tops.

46:15swimming trunks, sandals, or tube tops if you were a cab driver. You couldn't wear that. Well, they just changed the rule because they only gave out three tickets a year for that. I couldn't believe they gave out three where they would pull a cab driver over and they would actually cite him. Was that a tank top, sir? Exactly. And so, anyway, they relaxed the rule. Now they said that you must just... Wear something that is a professional appearance. You have to present yourself in a professional appearance as a cab driver. A suit and tie? I guess so. I don't know. I wonder what that conversation would sound like between the boss and the cab driver. Hey, Soonjar. Hello, Brenda. Hi. Hi. Thanks for coming in. You're welcome. So, just want to clarify the whole professional dress thing. You know, the old rules were you couldn't wear... Tank tops, swim trunks, tube tops, sandals, you know. Right, right. Well, they're doing away with that rule. Good. Well, and now they want you to dress professionally. Okay, but what does this mean to dress professionally? Well, you know, I've been letting it slide for years. Letting what slide? Your dress, your attire. And in fact, right now you're wearing a tank top.

47:44A tube tap, swim trunks, and sandals. But it is hot outside. It's winter, Sunjar. What is this, winter? Winter, it means it's cold. Yeah, well, you can't tell me how to dress. I dress whatever I want to dress. Look, look, look, look. I don't make the rules. Brenda. I don't say to you how to dress. I know. Why don't you tell me what to do? You know what? I'm not the one saying it, Sunjar. I like the hurley. The city. And I like the silver, silver, quicksilver. Right, right, right, right. I like that, too. And at the beach, it's okay. Yeah, but I'd like to drive this way. No, you can't. I love it, though. Why can't you let me? You let me be me, and you be you, and then we be ourselves. We can be ourselves, but at work, we're going to dress professionally. Okay. Okay? Okay, can I finish day wearing two-top, handcuffs, and sandals and swim trunks today? You don't have anything else. This is all I brought to work today, and I live all the way in Hell's Kitchen. Oh, jeez. That's a predicament. Let me see if I have, like, a sweatsuit for you or something. Can I borrow something from you? Yeah, maybe you should cover up. Do you have a dress? A pashmina? Or an overcoat?

49:03A tube top and a tank top. He's wearing it all. He's just wearing it out. Wow. Oh, Soonjar. He lives all the way in Hell's Kitchen. What's he going to do? You want me to drive home? Do I have to drive all the way to Hell's Kitchen? This story about this female passenger that had to get a pat down at the airport. Because something turned up in her body scammer. It almost made me and Woods puke. It was. We got a killer mashup for you, too. John Mayer and Eminem. It's fantastic. And we'll do it next. Don't go away. Later, we're going to be talking to Sebastian Younger. He wrote the book, A Perfect Storm. True story, Perfect Storm.

50:46He also wrote a book called War, and it's based on his experience in the Korengal Valley in Afghanistan. He went to, I mean, it's like the heaviest fighting areas, one of the heaviest fighting areas in Afghanistan. He was there, saw everything that happened, wrote a book on it, and did a documentary while he was there. And it's airing tonight, correct, Jay? Yes, indeed. It's on tonight on the National Geographic Channel. I got an early copy of it. An ambush. We got ambushed. Every single position got hit at the same time, pretty much. They placed a PKM machine gun down into our position and one orientated into the scout position and just rained down hell. I just look over to my right and I see rounds breaking branches off the tree. They were shooting RPGs as they were shooting pretty much everything.

51:47When I got hit, it actually came with enough force that it rolled me in the forward. You know, initial thought was, what happens? I felt pain. You know, I placed my hand there just underneath my IBA because that's where I felt, you know, the initial pain. Pulled the hand out, saw blood, knew I was hit. I looked up in time from all fours to watch a guy come over across probably about 35, 45 meters to fire an RPG directly at me. You know, initial thought was, well, this is the last thing I'm going to see because the guy was so close. And, you know, a round came in, exploded, took shrapnel out there on my body. But kind of did the, after the explosion, like, I'm still here. I'm still alive. And then kind of proceeded to just basically roll down the mountain into the bushes. And they were up in the position. I could hear them talking to each other. It's insane. Insane. That particular thing that they're talking about was a mission that they did called Rock Avalanche. The way that he does the documentary is brilliant. He splices five different guys together. And the guys say, if I had to think of one time that was probably the worst, it'd have to be Rock Avalanche. Next guy. Probably the scariest I've ever been in my life was Rock Avalanche. Next guy.

53:16Harshest fighting we took, Rock Avalanche. Next guy, probably he's getting choked up. The hardest thing we had to go through, Rock Avalanche. And then they show Rock Avalanche. Wow. At ass. Where can I see it tonight? Because I want to DVR it. National Geographic Channel. I'm going to DVR it for sure. And there's a lot of cursing in it, so you need to know, and they're airing it. I'm fine. Wow, really? Yeah. Because it's real. It's real. It's gritty. It sounds like the definition of gritty. Oh, dude, it's as gritty as it gets. Raw. I watched just a little bit of it, pieces of it. And the guy's like, these hardcore soldiers are breaking down crying. It was that's that those scenes almost make you start shaking because they're shaking. I've never seen it. I've never seen anything like this. And there's guys that are like more calm trying to get those guys calmed down. But they had just been pushed to that point.

54:19where they're starting to lose it, and they feel like they're ambushed, like they're going to die. Yeah. Like they're all around them, they have them surrounded, and they feel like this is it. It wasn't it. And I don't want to tell you what happens, but hardcore, really good. What story about a female passenger that had to get pat down after she went through the scanner almost made me and Woods barf? We'll tell you about it coming up here in just a minute. I'm Mikey. Guy across from me is Woodsy. The blonde girl sitting to my right is Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L.O.B. L.O.B. L.O.B. Sienna is out today. She's sick. And we hope she's okay. And we'll talk to her later, get an update on how she is. Our producer is Jay. And today, screening phones for us. And if you want to hear his seductive voice. Ooh, it's sexy. It's well. It's well. It's well. Well.

55:18So let's see. Word of the day, skunk. You're still listening for that. Okay, so a female passenger goes through the body scanner. Yep. The whole body scanner thing that we know about. It shows, like, you can see the intimate... Nice beaver. Jay. Yeah. Oh, man. That's going to be trouble. Oh, I love it. Him having that clip. Him having that clip. Jay having that clip. It's the greatest. And then he's got that grin on his face. It makes it so much worse. It makes it so much worse. He's just so happy. He's just so happy. Brilliant. Brilliant. Anyway, you can see intimate parts of a person's body. I don't like the idea of these scanners. Anyway, so what happened? Listen, I'm going to tell you. This story that we're about to tell you is a graphic in nature. It's a news story. It happened, and we're going to tell you about it. What happened was... You know, I'm looking at this story, and it doesn't say where it is, which is troubling to me. Is this a...

56:18No, it's... You're sure this is not a fake story? I'm sure. I'm sure. Sienna is the one that found this and sent it to me today. Okay. So... So if it's wrong, you just want that out there? Yes, that it would be Sienna's fault. That's Sienna's fault. She's going to call right now and go, no. It's not my freaking phone. I'm sick. You're doing this to me. Wait. You know what? It wasn't from Sienna. I take that back. It was from the overnight guy. It was from Jesse. It was from Jesse. Yeah, it was from J and L.O.B. gave me a copy. But anyway, this young lady went through security and it's so hard. I'll tell people. No, I'll do it. Her sanitary napkin. I can do it. Let's just say it like that. She was ordered. I'd rather do it. She was ordered. I'd rather. She was ordered. That's what they saw. We know now. Woods doesn't have to drive a flannel. Let me tell you what it says. The woman was wearing a flannel panty liner that evidently- Why does that make every man flannel? I've never heard of it. Maybe homemade. What? Maybe it was homemade. Maybe it wasn't homemade. It's made of flannel. What do you live in London? Stop.

57:33Causing her to endure what she described as a horrible experience. So they saw it, did the pat-down thing, and they said, hey, what's that? That's a flannel panty liner. We've never seen one of those before. But anyway, she wrote, they were just doing their job. They were as delicate as they could be. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Here, ready? Because of my flannel panty liner. Should I read it? These new scans are so horrible that if you are wearing something unusual, like a piece of cloth in your panties, then you'll be subjected to a search where a woman repeatedly has to check your groin while another woman watches. Two, in my case, they were training a new girl. So it was like the waitress that has the shadow behind her. They're training a new TSA agent. But she was speaking out because she didn't want other women to face the same humiliation. Hey, listen. To the TSA's defense,

58:33She's the only woman in the world in possession of a plaid flannel panty liner. Tartan. Sheep skin line. Maybe she's a lumberjack. Yeah, maybe she's a lumberjack. Lumberjill. Maybe she's a lumberjill. Her name is Elena. Her privacy invasions. Claims like Elena Sutherland's have become increasingly common. That was the girl. Elena Sutherland is the one that said she got called out because she had large breasts. So these women are all... What is that story? They're all banning together. Against gate rape, as they're calling it. Gate rape? That's what they're calling it now? Coining it. This is going to be the year of the scanner. And when we look back, like eventually, about 15 years from now, there will be... Trivial Pursuit Games. And there will be fun things that look back on the year 2010. And this will be one of the stupid parts of our culture. The Body Scanner. It's made for a great opening joke for me. Yeah. My stand-up. I bet. It's great. Can you even tell it on the air? Yeah, it's basically about a brother going through the scanner. You help me write it, Mike.

59:53I don't recall any such activity. You gave me a muse for it. Yeah. It's pretty funny. Brother's got no problem going through there. Just leaning back there. Hey, girl. Hey, girl. Come take a look at this. Girl, you want a pat down? You get a pat down. You get a pat down. Yeah, so that was gross. Yeah, it's the grossest story you've ever told. I don't like panty letters. Ew, I don't either. Here's a mashup between John Mayer and Eminem. I can't find mommy, where is she? I don't know, go play Haley, baby, your daddy's busy. Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself. I'll give you one underdog and you gotta swing by yourself. Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her. And put hands on a mother who's a spitting image of her. That Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy. Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rockin' by baby. When you're dreamin' with a broken heart.

1:01:18That's pretty cool. Oh, gosh. This is when I think John Mayer can get any worse. What? He ruins an Eminem song. I believe L.O.B. really likes you. I do, too. Secretly. I like the song Half of My Heart. Secretly. Because Taylor Swift's in it. I like the song No Such Thing. I wish our foreheads turned blue when we lied. Yes. Mine, too. Wouldn't that be great? Because right now, you see a little tint. Nope. Mine would be stark white. She'd be like, I can't stand John Mayer. She looks like a Smurf. Nah. I believe it. This song is so bad. It's beautiful. It's gorgeous. B&E. How about Outkast and Queen? You ready? Awesome. That's awesome. That is awesome. Awesome. Isn't that great, dude? I love that. I got a great one for you in a little bit. We'll do Foo Fighters and Guns N' Roses. Oh, in. It's pretty good. It's amazing. I love the mashup stuff. Cyber Monday. That's today. Yes. If you didn't know it, it means it's just like Black Friday, but on the internet.

1:03:20So you don't have to go to the store. You just go on the internet. You find all these deals. It's perfect for certain members of our show. Yeah, like we don't want to mention any names, but his initials are Mikey. Esparza. Esperanza. Amazon apparently has some really good. Oh, Mikey. Just wait. Wait, you ready? Yeah. Amazon shoes, Mike. You spend $75, you get 25% off your little shoes. Really? You spend $150 on your little shoes, you get 30% off. Oh. Doesn't that seem like a lot? That seems like a bit to me. For sure? No, it's good. It seems like a bit. It's not a bit. That's good. They're making you spend a whole... Hey, listen. If you spend $10,000, we'll give you... $75. That's a lot. If you're going to buy... If you're going to do some holiday shopping or some... I mean, it's winter, so you have to kind of update your wardrobe. Why don't they just say, whatever you buy is 30% off. Why do I have to spend a lot? That seems like a bit to me. Yeah, you get yourself a new Panasonic S50 camcorder for $149. That's pretty cool. Now, that's not a piece of junk? I don't know. See, you guys, I need somebody to explain. I need somebody to explain because I have always secretly felt that these deals on Black Friday and Cyber Monday are bits and that they're just like, let's take our crappiest junk.

1:04:40And let's sell it for real cheap. But I may be totally wrong about that. I feel like maybe it is that they have some inside information and maybe Panasonic's going to come out with a really new camcorder in January. So they're like, we got to get rid of all this. Or this isn't like their worst seller or something. No, you just put it in your Google search and see what the reviews come up. All right, that's a good idea. And there's like people that have already bought it on Amazon will review it too. Yeah, there's a million places for all you nerds out there. GameStop.com is offering some great, great stuff. Free shipping for orders over $25. Pretty solid. That's not bad because your average game is going to cost that, right? Yeah. You also get a $25 gift card if you order Band Hero, DJ Hero, or Tony Hawk Ride for Xbox 360, PS3, or The Bourne Conspiracy for Xbox 360. You know Jay. He's a gamer. He's a gamer. And Jay goes online and he'll play, you know, people. He'll play 13-year-old kids. Played at him this weekend. Our promotion's drinking. 13-year-old agents. Nervous. Not the fact that you're cheating. Are you 47-year-old? Yeah, what? What? How old are you? How old are you? Sitting there with my spectacles on. I'm 47. 47. Father of four. Oh.

1:06:04Father says, I cannot pray with someone this age. My call name, Caged Rage. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. Caged Rage. Betty Cleepy. Caged Rage. What's his call name? Yeah. Caged Rage. Caged Rage. Clown. Clan of the face. I was the guy voted most likely to snap. Yeah. Clown frown, dude. Good Lord. Staples.com, who is now my wife's new employer. She's starting her first day today. Congratulations. They are selling the TomTom XXL portable GPS for $79.99. Please repeat that. Staples.com is selling the TomTom XXL portable GPS for $79.99. Apparently that's all they think I'm worth these days. Correct. You used to be $200. This is ridiculous. You know, I think it's kind of sad that the going rate for you now is only $79. I think it's ridiculous, Mikey. You think you're worth much more than that. I think that I'm invaluable and you can't necessarily put a price on me. Can't put a price tag on that. No, I mean, she's been wonderful for me.

1:07:23$79. Yeah, Walmart.com offering. This is pretty rad. Sony PlayStation 3 Entertainment for $388. The whole bundle, all the bits that come along with it. Hey, Woodsy, what's your call sign name? I don't have one. When you game. I don't. When I game, when I game, I play sports games. I like to game by myself. Yes, I play. His game name is The Kid 22. That's pretty close. I might have created in my. baseball before I might have created a player named Steve Woods. Plays shortstop for the New York Yankees. Oh my gosh. Added him to the lineup. Why do you give Jay a hard time? Because mine's sports. Maybe you guys should play some fantasy football. I'm not trying to be a wizard. You're trying to play fantasy football with teams that don't exist. I'm not shooting aliens. You're not really a coach. And you're not really a soldier. But that doesn't stop you. Why is it different? It's way different. Why? Because it's nerdy. Mine's sports. It's cool. Oh, you're nerdy. When Woods plays Words of Warcraft, his name is PokerTiger17. What's your avatar look like? I mean, they don't have video games that you can slay chicks while you're playing video games, so I do the next best thing. I do sports. When Woods plays Halo, his call name is Kings of Leon fan number one. Fan club president.

1:08:51KOL Prez. It's funny because it's true. Is it? I've never even seen it. When Woods plays Call of Duty, his name is, you know that, 24. Taylor Swift fan. Swift for Prez. Do you know what my wife is doing this Sunday? What? She's going over to her friend's house. And they're going to watch all three Twilight movies. Oh, that's fun. She invited me and my wife to go. Do you think there'll be any wine drinking going on there? What time are they doing that? Nerds don't drink wine.

1:09:35They drink chalice goblets. They drink goblets of blood. They're going to drink blood. Goblets of blood. Well, it'll be wine, but they'll call it blood. Greetings. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That sounds like so much fun. Does it? Yeah. Yeah, I think the new Twilight comes out. I don't really know. I think. I heard that the new one is out on DVD. Maybe tomorrow. Oh. Look who's all excited. Are you a big shiny dork? No, I've seen the first two, so I've got to see the rest. Look who's calling the dork a dork. But I watched them. Girls like it. I'm in on it. How dare you? What? I've seen them. How dare you? I like Edward Cullen. I'm Team Edward. How dare you make fun of Jay when you are a big Twilight queen? No, I'm not. I've never read the books. Oh, so now it's that you haven't read the books. Yes. I've never read the books. I never read the book on Halo either. You watch the movies. Listen, when I first moved here. Guy is, he is spitting tobacco into a empty water bottle as we speak, talking about how he's going to watch the new Twilight. I'm doing it because my wife wants to do it. How come you're not going with the girls? Because I don't want to. I want to watch it by myself. Or with my wife. When Wood signs in to his Twilight fan club page.

1:10:56His name is It's a Bit. 22. Yeah, I just go trolling on there. You have, like, translucent skin. You've seen them, haven't you? No. Any of them? No. Really? I haven't seen any of them, and dude, I'm telling you, I don't have an interest in Twilight. That's good. I like the first one. The first one was pretty good. I didn't really like the second one. The second one, bleh. And then the third one I'm looking forward to. My wife is so nerdy. You're looking forward to it. Yeah, I want to see what happens in the story. Do you? Your forehead would be turning blue right now, Mikey. Dude, I've never, I promise you. You'd like the first one. I've never seen it, and I don't want to. You'd like the first one. I wouldn't like it. You would. I'm telling you. Blah! How about I watch Twilight, you watch Lord of the Rings. No. Why? Because that's fantasy. You are such a twerp. He's a hypocrite. He is such a hypocrite. He even covered his face. That could never happen. Lord of the Rings. Twilight. Documentary. Documentary. There are vampires among us. I'm contradicting myself. Aren't you? That guy. That guy sitting right next to you, Lauren. He makes fun of Jay for playing games. He makes fun of me because I love Lord of the Rings. And cooking shows. I just got the whole trilogy on Blu-ray. Greetings.

1:12:23But Woodsy can't wait for the new Twilight Zone. You got the Woman Repeller trilogy on DVD, huh? Congratulations. If you want to play Name That Tune with us, call now. 570-1949. We will play that next, and you'll win a prize for that. Word of the day, don't forget, is skunk. So when I say that, four-pack to Legoland, a new Mikey Show t-shirt, Anarchy or Angel sunglasses, and Kanye West. He played a concert in New York. and went off on stage. Don't know if you've heard about it. Videos out there. He goes off on everything from Taylor Swift to George Bush. There's about a million things that strike me in the whole thing as interesting, but probably one of the weirdest things is how long he went on for in this concert. And as I play it for you, I want you to ask yourself, if you were in the crowd, when he finishes, I want you to ask yourself, am I ready for music now? Am I in the mood to, like, party now? So, that's next. She had a great voice, didn't she? Who's that? Carpenters. Oh, that's Karen? Yeah. Nice. She could have used a damn sandwich. Or two. That's an interesting point. It's true. I guess, in all actuality, that's a true statement. Maybe a bowl of stew from time to time. She had a disease. I know. It's very sad. I love the Carpenters.

1:14:23Perhaps that's a true statement, though, you know? It's definitely a true statement. You have some pasta every now and then. Definitely another one that's true, but... She had a disease. Yeah. Maybe you don't say it. Life-ending disease. Yeah, but, you know... It's sad. You don't say it. I used to do... There was another time in my radio career when I used to do that, but I don't do that anymore. Yeah, now that's what I'm here for. I used to do it. Every year I did the tribute, and just, you know, I wouldn't do that anymore. Tribute to what? Karen Carpenter. Oh, boy. That's why you got the kid. Yeah, well, you know. Kanye West, ladies and gentlemen, was playing a concert. And he was in New York City. And he started to go off about everything. Weird. I know. And one of the things that he decided that he was going to go off about was, of course, Kanye and, or excuse me, George Bush. Taylor Swift and all that stuff. What struck me about it was that he does this in his concert for 10 minutes. You ever beat a dead horse real good? Yeah. He's laying there, he's been dead, and you've got a bat. He's actually been dead for about three years. Yeah, the horse is buried. You're beating him. Digging him up. You're digging him up, bringing him out. Yes, and beating him. You're like...

1:15:48I just want to hear Heartless. Yeah, really. Gold Digger. Just take your shirt off. Yeah. I just want to hear Gold Digger and Heartless and stuff. Can you just play that, please? Listen to this. People point the fingers. The projections that people write on blogs is a projection of what they feel or what they're scared about in themselves. That they want to project through the people who are on TV. Interesting observation, by the way. The organ player continues to lay down the sort of mood setter there as he's... And now we are mere surfaces of the energy that they are projecting on us. Everybody needs a villain. What?

1:16:40Oh, wow. Should I just keep playing? Yeah. Do we stop? Maybe I just keep playing? Guitar players giving the shoulders. I don't know, dude. Keep playing. Yeah, they have little things in their ears. They'll be like, just keep playing, I guess. How long is it going to last? Kanye turns around. Are you disrespecting me? No, no, no. Oh, sorry. Kanye, sorry. And the emotion that I felt at that time wasn't worth it. Do you think there's anyone in the audience just swaying back and forth? Yes. Sing it, brother. Say it. Exactly right. But everybody came and said, oh my god. I'm talking about five years ago. I'm not talking about a year ago. I'm talking about five years ago. I'm talking about Katrina. These tickets cost $230. I love you so much. I hated you until you said that. And now you're speaking for me. I always thought you were a ****. But now you said something that represents me. And the whole time I'm thinking in my mind, that's not exactly what I wanted to say. Should I go get beers for us? How long do you think it'll be? I don't know, but you should probably get beers now. I gotta pee.

1:18:11I do too, but he hasn't played Heartless. Well, I'm going to go. I'll pee and grab beers for somebody right back. No, no, no. Wait, because what happens if you get the beers and he does? Oh, he's going to be talking. Do I text you? Text me because I got him, but I'll grab beers. Do you want me to get your shot? Yeah, what are you guys doing? Go get us. Here, I'll go now. It looks like he's on a rack. He's going to do Heartless, though. I better not miss Heartless. You better text me. I don't want to miss Heartless, you guys. Text me. All right, I'm going. Save my spot. Save my spot. You know if he does Heartless, it's going to be like 10 minutes worth of the song. So just go. All right, fine. Go ahead and go now. I'll go now. I'll go now. Save my spot. Excuse me. Sorry. I'm going to be right back. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not cutting. I was just there. I knew it. Where is he? He's gone getting beers. I love this song. Oh, yeah. Talented dude. Trainwreck. He's such a stranger. Just stick to the music. If you want to be a politician, then be a politician. But just be a musician. And then they said that I was mean. And then they said that I was racist. God, dude. Just get over it.

1:19:29Honestly, I think that he is using the audience as a therapist. He's troubled. He's a very troubled guy. Very talented. Let's do Name That Tune. Yes. We have on the line M1 Jesse from North County. Hi, Jesse. Not too much. Who do you want to have represent you? Mickey. Okay. Smart move. Probably a bad move. Hang on a minute. Maybe go with a hot hand. M1 Richard from San Diego. Who do you want? You want LOB? Yeah. Okay. Hang on. M1, Connie from Lemon Grove. You've got Woodsy. Wow. And three weeks in a row, I guess, isn't good enough for these people, huh? It was not three weeks in a row. Yes, it was. Yes, it was. Wasn't three weeks. Yes, it was. I won the week before. No, Hasey, Dixie, I got it. Then the creepy fails, I won that one. Yeah. And then the one last week. I don't think so. I'm just telling you. All right, well, let's do this.

1:20:28Connie's being represented by Woods. Richard's being represented by L.O.B. And Jesse's being represented by me. It's Name That Tune. We have different themes and categories each week. We use our name as a buzzer. What's up for Grav's? What can they win? They're winning tickets to go see Warren Miller's Wintervention. Perfect. Yeah. Okay. Jay, what is the category? These are just songs that have been covered by other artists. Okay. So it really is Name That Tune. It's the real deal. All right. Here we go. Woods. MGMT. What were they covering? That was Weezer. That was Weezer covering MGMT. It was Weezer covering MGMT. Title or artist? Song or artist? Yeah, all we got to give you is the band playing it or the song that they're doing. Or the original. The original. I don't care what band is playing it. That was one for me, by the way. I got you. Here we go. Gosh, that took forever. Beyonce. Wow. Nice. What was she singing? That was not Beyonce singing. Put a ring on it. Was that Colby Calais?

1:21:45I don't know who that is. But I mean, she's now, whoever this is, I've seen her in a couple commercials. Person's doing Beyonce. Yeah, put a ring on it. It was single ladies. Oh, wow, that didn't sound like single ladies to me. This is just about to. Here we go. Lady Gaga. Let's work. Who's covering Lady Gaga? I don't know who that is. I don't know who it is. Okay, so then we do need to know the original artist. That's all we want is the original artist. The original artist. Must know the original artist. Or a song. I got it. I don't know who's coming. No idea. I have no idea. Here we go. Mikey. Green Day. Nice. Well done, my friend. Well done. What's his score? Mikey, one with one. Ella B, two. All right. Whoop. Damn it! Damn it!

1:22:57Plain white tees. Hey there, Delilah. Easy, big time. You guys are ever competitive with each other? Oh, man. Woods. Metallica. Yes. Dang it. Dang it. Dang it. I didn't want to take the chance. Here we go. Woods. Damn it. Mikey. Uh, three. Lauren. Woods. I said Woods. Lauren. I was second. It doesn't matter. Remember the last time we didn't do it that way? So Mikey gets a negative. Yeah, Mikey's negative. Go ahead, Elleby. Is it me? I'll give it to you. Oh, okay. Come on, Eileen. Get. Dang it! Merry Christmas. Happy birthday. Whatever. That happened to me twice last week. Okay, what's the score? I knew that one. Mikey zero, Woods two, Lauren four. Wow. So, let's see. Josh McDaniels over here. That happened to me twice last week, and that was the new rule. She got it. I'm going to make each of these worth two points. There's three remaining. Lauren. What? Lauren.

1:24:15Poker face? Get! Wait, that was two points? Yes. Look how excited you are. Mikey zero, Woods two, Lauren six. I can tie her. Two remaining. Woods. Guns and Roses. Two to tie. I can get her right here. It's so terrible because you do it and I go, oh yeah. Oh yeah, that is what that was. That is what that is. Oh boy. Mikey. Damn it! Mikey? Black Sabbath. Yep. Wow. L.O.B. is your winner. L.O.B. is our big wiener. L.O.B., congratulations. Blind squirrel finds a nut every night. M1 Richard? Yes. L.O.B. knocked it out of the park for you, kid. Just won yourself tickets to Snow what? What is it? Snow globe. You want a snow globe. Winter bench in Warren Miller's snowboarding skiing film. If you want a snow globe, I can give you one. Yeah, for sure. You have a collection.

1:25:43Yeah. If you want one, I can give you one. Hang on a line. Obese Mikey used to collect snow gloves. They came free in the Happy Meals. You know what? I played this weekend at Legoland and I said, I would love to see L.O.B. and Woods play this game. All of us, really. And anybody that's competitive. They have a game at Legoland that's like a carnival game. You know, where you throw stuff and you win. Well, it's a horse race. And you take these little, they give you two balls, and you toss these balls into holes. And the higher the rating, the more the little horsey will move. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've seen that. And I'm telling you, it was me and Steve and Jake and Nita. And we were flipping out. So your brother, your son, your nanny. And our nanny. Yes. And we were flipping. And I was pissed. Did you lose? Yeah, I lost to Jake, and I was pissed. Your son!

1:26:43We lost to your four-year-old. When we went to the Del Mar Fair, my wife beat me at basketball and won a giant stuffed animal, and I won nothing. It was hysterical. Yeah, hysterical. She's got a great hook shot. Woods really likes this song. He plays it every day. Every single day. Might have listened to it driving in this morning. Oh, wow. We got a very interesting email for you that we're going to be doing in a bit. And coming up next, the author of the book. The Perfect Storm, and he's got a documentary on tonight about heavy fighting in Afghanistan. It's called Restrepo. His name is Sebastian Younger, and we will have him next. Younger, and we will have him next. Younger. Sebastian Younger has a documentary coming on tonight about the war in Afghanistan and time that he spent there at an outpost called Restrepo. And I saw it, and it is unbelievable.

1:28:17And it's on tonight. Mikey's show is five people. Myself, Woodsy, Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as LOB. Sienna, who's not here today, she's not feeling good. She's our news girl. And Jay is our producer. Screening phones for us today is Will. It's Will. It's Will. It is Will. Willem. Sebastian Younger is on the line. And it is Younger, right? Yeah, that's right. Sebastian, I'm really excited to talk to you. I'm a fan of your book, The Perfect Storm, Love the Movie. And you're a phenomenal writer. And this book, your latest book is War. And the documentary is Restrepo. And it's named after, was it Private First Class Restrepo? Yeah, PFC1, Sebastian Restrepo. He was the platoon medic for 2nd Platoon. Battle Company of the 173rd Airborne. They were in the infamous Korengal Valley of eastern Afghanistan in 07-08, and I followed them off and on for a year along with my partner, Tim Hetherington. We shot hundreds of hours of video, and we shot all the video ourselves. We directed, produced, and financed this documentary, Restrepo, about what it's like to be in a platoon at a remote outpost in combat virtually every single day.

1:29:45What was the first firefight like for you? Well, you know, I've been covering wars since 1993 when I went to Bosnia. So I've been in wars before, but I'd never been in this kind of intense small arms combat. We were outside a village called Aliabad. We knew we were going to get hit. The Americans have an eavesdropping operation, and they listen in on Taliban radio communication, and the Taliban were saying, We see them in Aliabad. We're going to hit them as soon as they leave the town, and indeed they did. And we were pinned down behind a rock wall. The firefight lasted, I don't know, half an hour, 40 minutes. It was very intense. We had good cover, so I felt pretty okay. But, yeah, it was very intense. Now, when that's going on, and I wondered this as I watched it. At one point, one of the guys says that there would be up to five to seven firefights a day. And in case, you know. You're listening right now and you don't know what these things sound like. This is actually from the documentary that's on tonight. That is one of the most intense things I've ever heard. And when you see it, it's so intense. Sebastian Younger's on the line with me. He directed it. He wrote a book called War About It. One of the most fierce fighting areas in Afghanistan is the Korangal Valley. Did you film that? Yeah.

1:31:35Yeah, I filmed that. It was tough because, you know, the bullets, I mean, the rounds were coming in right over our heads. We were behind this rock wall, and I found it almost impossible to stick my head up and shoot video because you could see the tracers going out from our side and the tracers coming in from the other side of the valley. And I found that psychologically it was easier to pop my head up when the soldier next to me would pop up to shoot. Oh, my gosh. He'd go up, I'd go up, then he'd go down, I'd go down. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Okay. Sebastian, these guys, how is it that they are able to do this and not lose their cool? They're really well trained. If you lose your cool in combat, you get killed. And they know that. And their safety, such as it is, comes from the fact that they fight in a very coordinated way within the platoon, within the squad and the platoon, and even within the company. They're just professionals, and that was the only reason, as high as their casualties were, I think they could have been much worse, except these guys are really, really professional soldiers. When a firefight ends, what ends it? One side kills the other side, or one side just decides, we're going to stop? You know, I don't know what the... I mean, the firefight ends...

1:33:03when the Americans stop getting shot at and they don't see any more targets. I don't know what causes the enemy to stop shooting. I think sometimes it was lack of ammunition. They had to carry all of their ammunition on their backs or in the backs of donkeys in from Pakistan across the border, which was 20 miles away. Or sometimes, you know, like, I think their most effective... the most effective moments for them were the first few bursts of a firefight. I mean, that's when the soldiers don't have cover. They're just walking along. And after that, it was sort of diminishing returns for the enemy. So I don't know quite what their strategy was, but it would usually end after a few minutes, maximum half an hour. We're talking to Sebastian Younger. And, you know, first of all, you know him because he wrote the book The Perfect Storm. But he also wrote a book called War. which is also a documentary of his time in eastern Afghanistan, and it's airing tonight. It's called Restrepo, and it's on the National Geographic Channel tonight at 9 Pacific. Very graphic, very raw, very gritty. There's something that takes place in the documentary called Rock Avalanche. It's a mission that they did.

1:34:27that scared the hell out of all of them. What was it like for you being involved? And I want this to stick with people as they're thinking, maybe I'll set my DVR tonight and watch this, or they're watching it tonight at 9. You're going to know what Rock Avalanche is when it happens. For you, Sebastian, do you agree with those guys? It was the scariest moment of your time there? Actually, my partner and I alternated trips. partly determined by who had been injured worse on the previous trip. And in September 07, on a patrol up a steep hill with a pretty heavy load, I ruptured my Achilles tendon. So I kind of crawled and limped around for a few weeks. I got back home and I had to rehabilitate it. So Tim took the next trip. He was on Operation Rock Avalanche. But I know it was a very, very frightening time for him. He broke his leg during that operation on top of a mountain.

1:35:24He had to walk all night on a broken leg. Oh, my gosh. Otherwise, he would have put everyone in the platoon in danger. So that was a very, very tough time for him. There were a lot of American casualties. It was a bad day. How did you get, you know, when you say you guys, you got injured various times, from like shrapnel and stuff? No, no. I just ripped my Achilles tendon because I don't know what happened, but I thought I'd been hit by a round. It felt like I'd... It had an impact in the back of my leg. It was actually the tendon rupturing. I had a heavy load. We were going up a steep hill, and I was 45 years old. I don't know if that's enough to explain it. How about Tim? How did he break his leg? It was at night, and they were coming down off to Abasgar Mountain after one big firefight that saw three American casualties.

1:36:18and he stepped wrong, and there were a lot of ankle injuries among the soldiers as well. He stepped wrong, and he broke his ankle. Oh, my gosh. He had to walk the rest of the night on it so as not to endanger the other guys. Incredible, incredible, incredible documentary, and it's on tonight. It's called Restrepo. It's on the National Geographic Channel. Sebastian, do you think that... It's winnable in Afghanistan. And do you think that we're doing it the right way? Well, I mean, not to play semantics here, but I think this is actually a good point. One of the soldiers said to me, he said, look, it's not a question of winning or losing. It's very much like the war on crime or the war on drugs. Are we better off fighting it or not fighting it? The reality is that the U.S. has not been attacked in the nine years, nine and a half years, nine years since. military forces have been in Afghanistan and al-Qaeda was dislodged and pushed into Pakistan. Is it because of that? I don't, obviously, I don't know. No one knows. If the U.S. withdraws and the attacks continue, it may be that suffering an occasional attack like 9-11 is a lower cost than having combat operations in Afghanistan. It's not something I can determine, but it really isn't a question of winning or losing.

1:37:44Are we are we doing something that successfully protects us? And that's a really hard question to answer. Do you think that we one of the things that I've heard is that we could we would be much better off with more troops in Afghanistan. Do you agree with that? Here's the thing. Every war goes better if there's more resources and more supplies, more men. I mean, that's just logic. That's a given. I don't think there's any number of troops that will overcome the fact. that ultimately, in the minds of the Afghan people, we are defending a corrupt government. The Karzai government is completely corrupt, starting from the top. And as long as the Afghan people think that that's what NATO is protecting, there's not going to be much buy-in by the Afghan people. They don't want a corrupt government. So I think the military strategy, I mean, listen, I'm just a civilian. But personally, I think the military strategy is a pretty sound one. But I don't think there's any strategy that will ultimately win as long as we do not take a very, very hard line with President Karzai and his corrupt administration. All right. I got a couple of offbeat questions for you, and then we'll let you go. But I got a couple of offbeat questions for you. Why do soldiers have to burn their poop? Wow.

1:39:11There was no plumbing up there. There wasn't even running water. There was no electricity for a while. Out at Restrepo, it was a 15-man outpost. No communication with the outside world. They had a radio. That was it. And you have to do something with human waste. They were up there for a year. Wow. And so what are you going to do? You're going to burn it. But they would give that duty to the lower ranking. Literally. Could you shower? Oh, God, no. So these guys just never showered? Well, their rotation at Restrepo was three to four weeks. So they would just live in their clothes for three to four weeks. They'd walk back down to the company headquarters, a two-hour walk, once a month. They'd be down there for a few days. They'd take a shower. They would get a hot meal. They would call their girlfriends for a month at a time. They didn't even have any connection with their families. They had no internet, nothing. I'm seeing the faces of the people in the studio here now. We're shocked. We didn't know this. We didn't know that that's what it was like to live there. And it's an incredible documentary, Sebastian. And then the last question I had for you that I just had to know on a human level. You're married. You got a wife. Did she flip out when you said that you were going to the Korengal Valley? No, because I didn't know the Korengal was so dangerous. The soldiers who were in 2nd Platoon, the guys I was with, didn't even know when they went over there. They're big concerns.

1:40:40was that there wasn't going to be any combat at all. I mean, they're airborne infantry. They're trained for combat. They were worried they were going to sort of be sitting around all year drinking tea with locals and not really doing what they're trained to do. They weren't. I had no idea. They were not. Hey, Sebastian, great job, great movie, and it's on tonight. Is the cursing in it, or do they edit it for TV? No. It's cable TV. The cursing is in it. It is the movie we made. We won Sundance with it. It was played all summer in theaters. This is the real thing. This is what combat feels like. It's gritty. Wow. It's gritty. I can't wait to see it. Thanks, Sebastian. We appreciate it. Thank you. Thanks. They're flying in. They talk to one of these guys. They're flying in in this helicopter, and they fly over the mountain, and you see the valley. And one of these guys goes, we looked over. The side of the helicopter, he goes, Huey made a hard right, and I saw out the window, and I saw where these guys were, and I thought to myself, we ain't ready for this. Wow. Wow, dude. Good Lord. I swore I wasn't going to tell you this part. It's too good. Don't tell me. Don't do it. No. No. We want to see it. I want to see it. So good. I'm going to tape it. My heart was going, I want to tell you, but I can't. I don't want to ruin stuff for you.

1:42:09It's really good, though. It's called Restrepo. It's on tonight on the National Geographic channel, 9 o'clock. If you've got little ears, get them out of the room. Earmuff them. Yeah, these dudes are... Soldiers. They're soldiers, and they talk like dudes. They're doing their thing. They're doing their thing. The word of the day is skunk. I haven't said it yet. I'll weave it in sometime between now and 10. The smell of skunk doesn't bother me at all. Bothers me. Really? Yeah, there was one by my house this weekend on the way down to the 5th, and I didn't run over it, but my car went over the same lane that it was in, and it was dead. Yeah, it bothered me real bad. Sometimes I find it pleasant. I'd rather enjoy it. What? I'd rather enjoy it. I do. Skunk smell. I wouldn't want it on me. I wouldn't either. But in the neighborhood? It doesn't drive me crazy. But farts do. Oh, yeah. Reminds me of college.

1:43:10Farts are worse to me than skunk smell. You're crazy. Now, I'm not talking about skunk smell on me and right next to me. I'm talking about when I drive by on the road and I smell the smell of a skunk. And I'm differentiating that between that and getting sprayed, which I think is different. But the two of them, a fart is way worse. And you'll go. No. I don't do that. But I do sometimes think to myself. Not bad. I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at the skunk. I saw the anal glands of a skunk as he sprayed my car. And I was like, not bad. Oh, my God. That's weird, but it's true. Some things don't bother me. Sometimes you pay a little extra for that smell. Yeah, you do. I don't know what that means. I don't either. Yes, I do. I just got it. I figured it out. Oh, Jay, you're a creep.

1:44:10Oh, is that what he... That's what he meant. Yeah. Smoke. Just saying. Yeah, my brother's room in college used to smell like a skunk. Your brother's room. Yeah. Not mine. No. M1 Bren from Rancho Bernardo. Yes, sirree. What was the word of the day? Skunk. Well done. We didn't mean to say it, but we did, I guess. Oh, was that us? Yeah. Oh. You just won a four-pack to Legoland. Awesome. And you won a Mikey Show t-shirt. Oh, even better. And a pair of angel sunglasses. Cool. Yeah. Hang on the line, okay? Thanks. All right. Spent a lot of time at Legoland this weekend. You think my wife likes it when I go? And I try to do it. I think about it. Before I do it, I'm like, okay, I'm going to say it like this. It'll sound normal. It'll sound normal. Hey, babe, what time do you think we'll probably take off?

1:45:16How do I say it? How do I say it? How do I say it? How do I say it? How do I say it? You don't. You don't. You don't. Hey, what time? And then dead silence. And then not really sure. Whenever Jake's ready to go is when we'll go. You have to play it by ear. Yeah, Mike. Whenever Jake's ready is when we're going to go. Or. And I go like this. I go. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah. Or go into it with a set time. Yes. That you're going to leave by. The kids. An agreed upon time. At the latest, let's be out of there by four. That is my bit. Yeah. To a T. Wherever we're in the car, I go, just FYI, we got about an hour. About two. At the most. At two hours, I'll be leaving. You're more than welcome to come with me. If not, maybe you can find your own ride home. Yeah. When you're working on being a good dad and a good husband, that doesn't fly. Yeah. That doesn't fly. I did that two years ago. That was my bit. That's my bit. Two years ago. And then you go through.

1:46:17you know, some rocky times, and your wife says, you know what would be nice? Is if you, you know, actually liked being a dad. Yeah. Well, you have to, you can't say it the way that Woods just said it. You can't be your wife. Oh, I used to. You can't be your wife. You can't say it like that. I would be like, hey, babe, come on, with the Legoland. Oh, see, and I wouldn't do it at Legoland. I'm going. Whether you like it or not. FYI, you got an hour. You get a lift home. No way at all. Here's the thing. I'm going to go to this party with you. I want to be home by 11. If you want to stay longer, you're more than welcome to. But I'm going to be home by 11. Can't do that at Legoland. No. Not at Legoland, but at a party you can. You can't do that at a party. Yes, she can. I wouldn't do that with my wife anyway. Oh, I would. With my wife? I do that with your wife all the time. That's weird. What you can say is, now, don't give me that look. Don't freak out. Don't give me that look. I want to go today. I just want to know so I can time the rest of my day. What time do you think we're going to be out of here? Monster. Or can we both, we're adults, can we both agree that we'll be out of here by four? Lauren O'Brien and my wife are actually quite similar. In fact, their birthdays are one day apart. And if I said to Lauren O'Brien, now don't get mad, she's already furious. Immediately furious. She's furious already. She hasn't heard it yet. She's furious.

1:47:39No way. And then I say, hey, I'm just trying to plan for the day. I like jokes. You like jokes? And I think your wife likes jokes. Maybe. I don't try jokes. I should try jokes. Yeah, you need to lighten it up at home. You should say, listen, don't freak out. But I slept with somebody else. I'm just kidding. I just want to go home from Legoland. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Then they're like, oh, okay. Listen over, you people. I was joking. It was just a joke. Don't you know a joke when you hear one? What happened in the hallway this weekend where she gave me a look like, really? And I was trying. And I even said. I physically don't know how else. I don't, I didn't know how, I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to, she said, what did she say? She goes, can we blah, blah, blah? And I go, yeah, yeah. And she goes, and then she added onto it because I blah, blah, blah. And I go, yeah, sure. And she gave me the, really with the over dramatic. Yeah, sure.

1:48:49And I go, I didn't, what? I said yes, sir, but what I meant was yes, sir. Ma'am, I mean ma'am. And I knew it. When I was doing it, I knew, I remember what it was. She wanted to know what time, oh, oh, oh. She said, hey, if I'm going to cook tonight, I need to start the thing now. And my family was in town. But I really wasn't sure what they were going to do. And this is a perfect example of men and women. We got different things happening in our head. I have one conversation going on in my head. She's got a conversation going on in her head. So she says, well, I need to put this on now or, you know, it's not going to happen. I said, yeah, you know, then don't because we'll probably end up doing something with them. And she goes.

1:49:53okay, I would just, you know, have to know now. And I go, don't. And she gave me the, really? You probably said, no, you don't have to cook. And I, and I'm in my head, I'm thinking, she doesn't want me to take everybody out tonight because she knows I'm a dork. Yep. And I'll take 20 people out and be like, I got it. Mr. Big time. Yeah. Okay. That's what I think. I don't know this for a fact. That or was she saying like, what, you don't like my cooking? That could be going on. Could be it. Maybe you need to give, this is what women need. They need a reason to back up the yes or no. So no, because I don't want you to have to clean all night. You just relax. Let's get takeout. I just learned something. Yeah. That's good information, LLB. We want a little reason alongside the yes or no. Man, we're different. And make it soft. Do it softly. That's... It's lighting the mood. This is quite beautiful. This is an arrangement that we do every year just after Thanksgiving for the holidays. Oh, holy night. Oh, yeah. Sweet sounds. Oh, yeah. It is the night of our dear Savior's birth. Oh, yeah. Long may the world...

1:51:31I'm afraid to laugh because I want to hear it. I know it. He's a Caucasian. Caucasian man. Kind of reddish hair. Figures. Sweater. Uh-oh. All right. All right. On my knees. He's feeling it now. Yeah. He's feeling it. He's an angel sport. He must be single because anybody that listened and practiced this would tell him absolutely not. You shouldn't do it. You shouldn't do it. Does it sound like he practiced? Eyes closed, heads nodding in the audience. Take it down. Draw upon all of your energy to give us the next note. He just went potty. Oh my gosh.

1:53:49First a vessel in his eye. Good choice. Lay it down. Lay it down. What? What? Oh, night divine. Hold it. Oh, yeah. Real question. Real question for you. If you had been in the audience, could you? Could you just? Could you just... No! He would have pretended he was crying and left. I couldn't look at you and be like, dude, don't. Can you imagine me and you in the audience? I wouldn't want to be anywhere near you too. Mikey doesn't like to make fun of things like that. I do. Very much. And if we were in... He said, would you go to church with me? I'd say, okay, I'll go with you. And that happened? I'd be in the car. I would have to be in the car. Did you get up? I'd leave. Did you have to get up?

1:54:58No way. If he was with you, he'd be writing you notes to make you be the guy. Oh, yeah. I'd make you get it, dude. Amazing. Oh, my gosh. That is brutal. Hello, boo. Probably a couple things that you're doing that make you look cheap. You don't even realize it, but I have them. I'll tell you. We got Woods of Wisdom. You got a question for Woodsy. You can always call us. Oh, and M1 Lauren from RB is on the line to update. from last week about her creepy uncle. Remember, before we went to Thanksgiving break, she said she was kind of worried about the creepy uncle. This is the one where he's like, something about intercourse in his house. A baby being conceived. A baby was conceived there before, and so he says to his niece and her boyfriend, just so you know.

1:56:00So we'll get an update on how, because she was not looking forward about being around that uncle for Thanksgiving. We come back, we'll find out how it went. Things that you're probably doing that make you look like you're cheap and you don't even know it. And I'll tell you, you said, what did you say? It's a joke. My brother, Mark. Saving it up for a rainy day, you grasshoppers. Can I borrow like six grand? No. My dad. My dad. Both of my dad. My brother. Both of your parents? Oh, yeah. Maybe it's not cheap. Maybe it's just smart. Is it? Uh-huh. I saw a picture of Jay this weekend celebrating with a bottle of bubbly. Did it say bubbly? I looked at the label and it was Cooks.

1:57:45Which is about $2.99. You know why? Wino's are loaning him money. Wino's are like, I don't want that. He was holding it up all happy in the woods, but like, I saw you sprung for the good stuff. You mix it with orange juice, it's not going to do anything anyway. I liked it. Jay is unbelievable. I would have done the same thing, Jay. I guess when you got four kids, you're going to learn to be very, very thrifty. You think that this guy wasn't like that before the kids? Hey, probably. When you're like that, you're like that. When you're like that, you're like that. The only way I was able to afford a house. Oh, boy. You know. That's my brother, too. His daughter pays for her own meals when they go out to dinner as a family. I'm 35, and my parents picked up everything this weekend. You're their kid. Yeah. That's what you do. Now, if you talk to my brother, he would go, and he'd be serious. He would go, she's an adult. Oh, God. She's an adult. Why? She's my baby. She's your child. She's my baby. Maddie comes over when she's sick and gets the medicine from our house. I was like, why don't you just go to the store? She goes, I don't want to spend the money. I'm like, I have rubbed off on you. Oh, yeah. Perfect. Okay, so let's get an update from M1 Lauren from RB. Are you there, Lauren?

1:59:09All right, so fill everybody in again on what your creepy uncle said one time. This is my husband's uncle. And he said, oh, you guys should come out to Phoenix for things. And he said, oh, you guys can stay in my guest room. But, you know, it's pretty notorious seeing as my niece and her husband conceived while they were staying here. So you went out and spent Thanksgiving with that. Uncle. Oh, boy. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my.

2:00:16I'm thankful for the softness of your skin. Sitting next to you. I'm thankful for the way you look when you sleep. Just the smell of a woman. I'm thankful for your youth. I was sitting at their countertop in their kitchen and he came up behind me and put his arms like around my shoulders like in front of my neck and actually leaned in and gave me a kiss on my cheek. Oh my gosh. Wow. Is that a thong? You're wearing. I see you have a tramp stamp. Your skin is so smooth. When did you get this second hair piercing? Time. Get to the important question. You know what the important question is. Did you conceive? Shut your mouth. No lovemaking in Phoenix this Thanksgiving. So can your uncle-in-law. The film will be out. I drilled a hole in. The Norman Bates.

2:01:35I Skyped it. You know, while they were staying in there. Hello, Miss Lady. I would wear it with a gray wig on. Is there anything creepier than the old guy that is always talking about how beautiful all the women are? It's so weird. And what is the thought that eventually she'll be like... I just have to give you a try. I gotta give you a shot. Well, sometimes they're related to you. Like, a grandfather will say, like, I just have so many beautiful daughters and granddaughters and stuff, and he's just being nice. Sweet. He's being sweet. But if it's an uncle, it's creepy. You're drunk uncle. You're drunk uncle. Ah, you guys look sexy. I can't even believe how sexy you grow up. Grown up girl. I didn't know they made boots that went that high.

2:02:42You ever heard of boy shorts? I just, hey, Lauren, I was watching the TV, and I just heard about this thing called boy shorts. What? You tell me about that. I don't know what that is. I can turn the heat up, so you don't need to sleep in those flannels. Gross. If it gets cold tonight, you need an extra blanket. Like a heater. I can sleep in between you two. Oh, God. Poor kid. Just creeped out all weekend. We can pretend that we're a high seers. Pretend we're Eskimos. Why don't we pretend we're Eskimos? And I'm a seal skin. Ah! Gross. Make love. Creeps. Oh, man. Creepy uncles. I don't see anything wrong with it. Weird. Let's see. Do I got this? Let's see if I have this email.

2:04:00I do. I want to read you this email. Rick Springfield will be in the studio in one hour. And my brother and I had a very spirited debate about Rick Springfield. Tell you about that. It was just weird. It was. Okay, so it says, Mikey, love the show, dude. I was hoping you guys could help me out with a little problem or should I say an annoyance that I'm having at work. I sit next to the over-the-top holiday enthusiast. This is no joke. The chick who sits in the cube right next to me has just about every Christmas decoration up right now, and she's had them up since the Monday after Halloween. Wow. Wow. She does this for every holiday, too. Every is all in caps. Every holiday, too. I'm talking about a million little Christmas toys that make noises and sing holiday songs. She even has eggnog-scented candles. I know that because she always says, quote,

2:05:00Don't these eggnog candles make you hungry? Unquote. I'm going to lose it, exclamation point. Shouldn't she have to wait until December to put up Christmas decorations? And how do you guys feel about a limit on decorations? Candles, dot, dot, dot. Really? Four question marks? Someone lobster. Listen, I don't have any problem with anybody doing Christmas. Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? I care. Really? Yes. Scrooge. I'm not Scrooge. It's a place of business, dude. Oh, come on. Can you imagine? Candyland? You're on the phone with a client. All of a sudden, you hear, it's the most wonderful time. Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry, Bob. I'm still here. I just say that again.

2:05:53Did you open a jewelry box or something? Why is there a song playing? Oh, because we're so unprofessional around here. What's this, a candy jar? What happens when I take a piece of candy? We wish you a Merry Christmas. Forget it. It's a place of business. You want to decorate your house, decorate your house. It's a fun place of business. You should be able to decorate a little bit, but maybe the things that make noise. So should you be able to have a dip cup at your desk? Yes, it's my desk. It's not bothering anybody. Maybe some fiddle faddle in front of you. Fiddle faddle. It's not making any noise. What's the holiday decorations? Who's that bothering? The decorations don't bother me. The ones that make a lot of noise. Noisy ones? They might be a little bit of an annoyance. And don't like candles in the office. No, you shouldn't. Come on. Use your head. Really? You don't like candles at work, Slick. That's how office buildings burn down. Or how the sprinklers go off. Right. I can't blast cigs at my desk. No, you can't blast cigs at your desk, but lighting a candle is not a big deal. You shouldn't have a space heater either. Some people aren't even allowed to have perfume on because it bothers other people around them. It's a place of business. I know, but I'm just saying, if someone complains about the candles, she's got an x-ray on the handles, okay? Yeah.

2:07:05What do you live in, Candyland? You need decorations and stuff? No, I live in Happyland. Well, listen, what we do for a living, a little different. We can have pictures of black guys with gold teeth on the wall. We can have paintings of us in sombreros and T-shirts and guitars and fun Barack Obama masks. So there's certain places of business. It's a place of business. You go there to work. You decorate your house. So you work at the corporate office of Wells Fargo Bank. Yeah, no. And there's cubicles. So you're having a good time. Throw some garland out. I think it would actually be a more enjoyable place to work if during the holiday season you came in every morning and there was like garland and stuff like that. Agreed. But the noise making stuff and the smelly stuff. 570-1949. What do you think M1s? Are we living in a day and age where to have Christmas noise makers is a bad thing? Or are we overreacting? 570-1949. You let me know. Yeah, I used to have a lady next to me, and she would not let any smells at all come into her office because she was so sensitive. But her office was always noisy, and I never complained one way or the other. Is that a bit? No. Totally a bit. I thought it was until this weekend, dude. Jamie bought some pine cone crap potpourri stuff, put it in a bowl, smelled amazing.

2:08:31Five minutes later, she's like, oh my God, what's the matter with me? I'm like, I don't know. Her skin got all blotchy. Then I went next to it. My eyes filled up with tears. I'm like, what the hell's going on? It's the blood code stuff. I don't know. It was toxic. We threw it away. She bought it at House of Ammonia. It's a new store. I thought it was a bit. It is not. It gives me a headache sometimes, the over-the-top stuff. M1 Mr. Dawn's Wall from San Diego is on the line. Are you there, Mr. Dawn's Wall? I'm here. Yeah. What do you think? I think it's okay to have some type of decoration, but I think it sounds like this person's a little bit over the top. Oh, come on. Yeah, for real. I don't think it's okay, but, like, the noisemakers and, like, I mean, that's for home. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Oh, it's fun. You're not going to be that loud. Is it fun? I think it's kind of fun, yeah. Is it? I think it's kind of a... All right. All right. I'm going to bring some noisemakers in tomorrow. Oh, my gosh.

2:09:27My mom sends me stuff every year because every Christmas their house is kind of like Santa's workshop. There's stuff actually for every holiday. There's purple lights up for Easter. But anyway, she sends me stuff every year so I can bring some stuff in. Let's do it, LB. I just got a new puppy that walks and it sings a Christmas song. So I'm going to bring that in. Can we leave that on while we're on the air? Yeah, we'll just put it on. It's okay. See, that's different because we're on the air. It's okay, though. It's fun. If you're broadcasting, you can't. I'm on the phone ripping the mic trying to close deals, and I got some dunce next to me playing Christmas carols from her desk. But it's not going to be that loud. It's not going to be loud enough to bother me and break my concentration when I'm trying to close business. Wow. Well, then you just talking is going to break my concentration. What about that? Yeah, you talking. No, I mean, that's what we do here. We're in a sales environment. While I'm trying to close deals, I can hear you trying to close your deal. Believe me, it happens. We've been trained. We've become accustomed to that. The little Santa that spins around and plays music. We're not used to that. Hi, this is Steve Woodson with Lincoln Financial Media. Hey, how are you? Yeah, I want to talk to you. I want to sell some advertising. Do you want to buy some advertising from us? We're on the radio.

2:10:47Actually, the Mikey show is new on 94.9 and doing really, really well. The ratings are... I'm sorry about that. Sorry. Yeah, I don't know what's really going on. Sorry. You'll probably want to buy from somebody else because we're idiots here. This is Captain Buzzkill. Hi, Captain Buzzkill. Where you been? Vacation with my family in Minnesota. Your mother? Sounds like a treat. Did you eat a lot? You know that. That goes without saying. No, I think everybody feasts on Thanksgiving. It's a stupid question. Everybody does. And they eat a lot. And they eat a lot, yeah. No different than anyone else. That's right. What's your bit today? Right now, I'm hearing you talking like that. Okay. Celebrate Christmas? No, I celebrate holidays. You're one of those. Figures. And I think that it's fine if you have things at your desk as long as they're mutually exclusive.

2:12:06You don't even have a job. I mean, as long as they are universally excluded. Like what? You don't use the word Christmas. Mikey. Must be a holiday wreath. It's not just Mikey. It's all of us. You use the word holiday. But it's Christmas. Yeah, and don't we all do that, Captain Busco? Everybody does. No. So does that mean no red and green? Just like blue and white? Gray, maybe. Gray. Why would red and green be a problem? That's like kind of... It's not going to offend people that are not fans of red and green. However, when you have a Christmas party, it would offend me if I were not, if I were Jewish. It's just a holiday. Why don't you try to be... Have you ever been invited to a Christmas party? No. Yes, I have. Have you? Yes. When? My dungeon master was a... Keep going. Keep going. My dungeon master used to have a...

2:13:11Why are you laughing? What was his name? Sorry. What was his warlock name? His warlock name, of course. His warlock name was Judge Gugonker. Judge Gugonker. What's so funny? That's a really weird name. Judge Gugonker? Really weird words. Yeah, you were about to curse on the radio. Yeah, because you guys are unbelievable. Sing over there. Why are you whispering? Why? Did you get in trouble? Is that your mom? Uh-oh. Hello? Are you still there, CBK? I think it's his mom. I think it's his mom. He's probably in trouble. CBK! Hello? We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. I'm sorry. Uh-oh. Because they are. Bye. You guys are such fun.

2:14:29Don't curse on the radio. Man. I'm in trouble because of you, Lauren O'Brien. What? You called us. You called. Yeah, but you guys started. I'm getting off. Are you? And you're going to hang up. Yeah, and you're going to hang up. Yeah. Oh, CBK. We got him that time. We got him in trouble. He was going to try to wait it out, like make the mom, make his mom think that he wasn't there. He's always there. He's always there. Where's he going to be? Judge Gagonker? Judge Gagonker. I think I know that guy. I've played that guy. How many people do you think got busted with the DUI stings that they had going on throughout the holidays? We got numbers on that. We'll play a little radio charades if you want. 570-1949. Mike, were you a teenage anarchist? I was not. I wish I could have been. This guy was. Oh, yeah.

2:15:57Jared is our graphic designer. He did our billboards, did our bumper stickers. He was a teenage anarchist. You think? Maybe. He's sweet. Sweet kid. I don't think he was an anarchist. No. That guy's a beast. Yeah, he's good. You can find him at createyourdesignonline.com. Does our website. Business cards. You need it. He's your guy. He did my adoption pamphlet, and we've been selected by a birth mom. Already. So awesome. And I've already sent him another referral for adoption pamphlet. Have you really? Yeah. That's so great. Over the weekend. That's awesome. Rick Springfield will be in the studio in 35 minutes. I can't believe it. Boogie Nights. Yeah, I'm going to ask him about it. A hundred. Because this was in the movie Boogie Nights this summer. Creepiest scene of any movie ever, possibly. Yeah. It's pretty creepy. Yeah. He was in a... like self-help group slash class or something. It was either that or like an art class. I just read it. Great retention. He was at a gas station. Yeah. Or at a gym. I wasn't paying attention. One of the two. Or a loony bin. I can't remember which. But there was a girl, there was a couple that were in this thing. And the girl's name was Sylvia. And the guy's name was Gary. And Sylvia was really hot.

2:17:35He wrote a song about him being creepy about Sylvia, and Gary's Girl didn't sound very good. So he changed it to Jessie. Let's hear it and think Gary. The record company would listen and said, no, that's not going to work as a single. And they would have put out something else, and we would have never had Jessie's Girl. That's right. That's 100% correct. 570-1949 is our phone number if you want to get a hold of us for any reason. Don't forget about the FM 94.9 Holiday Hoot Nanny. This thing's going to be good. It's going to be a hoot. Hoot hoot. A nanny. It's happening on December the 11th at Remac. And tickets are already on sale. And it's going to be Tokyo Police Club, Sleigh Bells, The Temper Trap, Against Me, and The Black Keys. It's $40. A dollar of every ticket sold goes to the About the Music Fund. Who was that last band again? The Black Keys. You know what I haven't told our audience yet? I have not told the audience this yet, and so I'm going to tell you now. I'm going to Haiti on December the 9th, and I will be back. I will miss that Friday, and I will miss Monday, but...

2:19:04everyone else is going to stay on the air. Okay? I'm going to host. I thought you said you were going to come in on Monday. You were going to get back Sunday night. I did, but I talked to, well, let me explain. Easy, Captain Callout. I can't see you. I can tell you, but I can't tell you. Easy, Magnum? Woods, L-O-B, Sienna, and Jay will still be on the air. And filling in as guest host will be our program director, Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. I cannot wait to see how this goes down. Now, I was talking to Garrett to answer Jay's question. I was talking to Garrett because I get in on Sunday night. we land at 6.30 on Sunday night. I go to bed at 6 because I get up at 1.30, but I thought, ah, I can do that. And that was the plan. Garrett said, you know what, though, dude, that Thursday is the Mikey-thon. And so I kind of don't want to jack things up going into Mikey-thon. He actually said, hey, Mike, Mike, why don't you spend a week in Haiti?

2:20:32And then when you get back, take a few days off. I got the Mikey-thon handled, okay? I did one in Philly one. It's going to be the Garrett-thon. It's going to be the Garrett-thon. Here's what we're going to do. I just saw that Spin Magazine did the 125 best albums of all time. What am I going to do? I'm going to play each one in its entirety. Twice. Woods and I are going to talk about it. What do you think? Sold? What about me? You'll be there. You grab coffee and things like that. But Woods and I were going to go over, you know, I want to know what he thinks about Teenage Fan Club. It's really boring. Yeah, it's super boring since Wood doesn't know those bands. Yes, he does. Wood? And who is Wood, by the way? I said, have you seen how many people have started to pick up on that? Wood. I've been working with this guy for damn near a year now. And he goes, hey, Wood, and he does it seriously. He's not messing around. He's not joking. Wood doesn't know anything. Hey, Wood didn't load his audio. What? Wood. You just started calling him Ja. Yeah, you ever seen that all real good? Easy, Wood. Yeah. Good Lord. Gotta get Jay some medicine. Wood. I love it. It's so offensive to me. It's so offensive.

2:21:55I'm just not using the plural of your name. Yes, it's my name. It's not the plural. It's my name. My name is actually Woods. It's not an apostrophe. There's the Woods. Now, if it's just him, it's one Wood. Yeah, right. It's just one Wood. I'm just not using the plural. The plural. He thinks that's the plural of my name. Gosh, darn it. That's funny. Hey, Mike. Welcome to Gareth-on. It's hour 17. Here's a new one by the Black Keys. Holy Toledo. This is going to be fun. It's going to be fun. He's looking forward to it, and I'm looking forward to it, and I think he'll do a great job. I've been doing mornings since you were growing up, pal. Don't worry about me. How much Garrett voice will I do?

2:22:52I bet you'll get shamed out of it within the first hour. Hey, Woods, are we going to do this for four hours? Hey, Wood. I can't wait, dude. Because I love Garrett, man. He is so much fun and just a good dude. This should be hysterical. It's going to be fun. Okay, so this is an interesting story. Apparently, they have changed their... Is this still making you laugh? Yes. Wood. Wood. He does it on a regular basis. All the time. Once a day at least. I love when they're in a fight and he says it and Woods goes, who's what? Clown. You know what I mean. Gets me. So in New York, they have apparently relaxed their dress code for cabbies. Apparently, for cabbies, there used to be a rule that said that you cannot wear tube tops.

2:23:54sandals, tank tops, or swim trunks. And now, because it was a rule, it was like a city ordinance. But they gave away like three tickets a year because nobody enforced it. Nothing like a cabbie in a tank top or a tube top. Just there for all the smell. Sure. Well, they have changed it now and they said that now the rule is you need to adhere to, quote, professional appearance. Good. And they've done away with the rule about the tank tops, the tube tops, the sandals, and the swim trunks. As long as you're wearing some trousers and a tie, tube top away. Yeah, exactly. Well, we wondered what that conversation between boss and cabbie might sound like. Hey, Soonjar. Hello, Brenda. Hi. Hi. Thanks for coming in. You're welcome. So, just want to clarify the whole... The professional dress thing. You know, the old rules were you couldn't wear tank tops, swim trunks, tube tops, sandals, you know. Right, right. Well, they're doing away with that rule. Good. Well, and now they want you to dress professionally. Okay, but what does this mean to dress professionally? Well, you know, I've been letting it slide for years. Letting what slide?

2:25:19Your dress, your attire, and in fact right now you're wearing a tank top, a tube top, swim trunks, and sandals. Yeah, but it is hot outside. It's winter, Sunjar. What is this, winter? Winter, it means it's cold. Yeah, well, you can't tell me how to dress. I dress whatever I want to dress. Look, look, look, look, I don't... I don't make the rules. Brenda, I don't say to you how to dress. I know. Why don't you tell me what to do? You know what? I'm not the one saying it, Sunjar. I like the hurley. The city. And I like the silver, silver, quick silver. Right, right, right, right. I like that, too. Flip-flop? And at the beach, it's okay. But I'd like to drive this way. No, you can't. I love it, though. Why can't you let me? You let me be me, and you be you, and then we be ourselves. We can be ourselves, but at work, we're going to dress professionally. Okay. Okay. Okay, can I finish day wearing suit-top, pink-top, and sandals and swim trunks today? You don't have anything else. This is all I brought to work today, and I live all the way in Hell's Kitchen. That's a predicament. Let me see if I have a sweatsuit for you or something. Can I borrow something from you? Yeah, maybe you should cover up. Do you have a dress? A pashmina? Or an overcoat?

2:26:40Could have sounded like that. You never know. Something similar. 5701949. That's our phone number here. If you want to get a hold of us. Let's see. Leslie Nielsen died. How sad. Bummer, man. How old was he? 84. Pneumonia. You know, the funny thing is, is he looked... The same. I was thinking the exact same thing. He looked the exact same for years. I wonder what he looked like. Let's see. Let's listen to some stuff. You'd better tell the captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital. A hospital? What is it? It's a big building with patients. That's not important right now. It's fantastic. Fantastic. The deadpan delivery. Can you fly this plane and land it? Surely you can't be serious. I am serious. And don't call me Shirley. Do the one with the guess. It takes you... You can't guess for two hours? Yeah. It's my favorite. It's my favorite. How soon can you land? I can't tell. You can tell me I'm a doctor. No, I mean, I'm just not sure. Or can't you take a guess? Not for another two hours. You can't take a guess for another two hours. I mean, we can't land for another two hours. Oh, that's brilliant. Dude.

2:28:02He was a serious actor for years. And it's so hard to imagine him doing that. I know because he's so much better at being funny. He could be next to the bed of a dying child and he would say something serious and I'd be like, no way. I know it. Because of that deadpan delivery, man. So funny. Hey, I got to ask this because our Hungarian nanny Nita went to a party this weekend. Came home and said that she played a game called Apples to Apples. Yep. Now, I thought, well, she must be getting it wrong. That's it. It's really Apples to Apples. Apparently, Lauren played Apples to Apples this weekend. I own it, yeah. What is it? I own it. It's a game. I guess it's kind of like a reverse. balderdash kind of thing yeah i don't know you hate it i hate that game oh my gosh it's so okay so you play with however many people that there are there's red cards and there's green cards red cards everybody gets seven of them you don't show your hand and they say different things on them anything from like flying monkeys to elizabeth taylor they're just kind of like nouns right and then the green cards um

2:29:14Each round, there's a different judge, and you just move in a circle. And the judge will flip over a green card, and it'll say something like... Usually an adjective like charismatic, sad or something. So you have to take what's in your hand and guess what the judge would think that the saddest thing was. Got it. And you try to win. So you have to be like sad Elizabeth Taylor. Yeah. So you have to play to that person's personality and sense of humor. Do you have to try to be Elizabeth Taylor? No, no, no, no, no, no. That would be fun. You slip it face down and then the judge gets the... all red cards and looks and goes okay for sad someone put elizabeth taylor someone put the holocaust someone put justin bieber someone you know so right so then he has to go hmm of all these choices what do i think is the saddest and you don't know who put what in and then he picks it and then whoever's card that was then gets the green card

2:30:09And whoever accumulates the most green cards at the end wins. Did you follow all that? Yeah, no, I did. I checked out about three minutes ago. Wood, I did not. It's easier with the visual. Yeah, she said it was really fun. It's a test. It's a strategy game because you play to the judge changes every time and you think, okay, Woods is a very scholarly. literal man so he would think that something like the Holocaust is sad as where Mikey who has this like twisted sense of humor might think that like blue towels are sad right That's kind of cool. The interaction to me was so slow. Somebody bought it for me. I got to their house and gave it to me as a present. I left it there that night. You're not playing with the right people. I'm surprised you didn't take it and sell it for money. We would get so competitive as a group. I know us. Because you'd be like, that's the stupidest thing. Why are blue towels sad? I don't like board games. You don't? No, I don't like board games. They're fun.

2:31:10Best game in the world. Are they dorky? Is that it? No, I just don't like them, man. I never liked drinking games or board games. Didn't like drinking games. No. If I want to drink, I'll just drink. But if I want to play board games, I'll just watch TV or read a book. No. I never liked board games. I never did. A trivial pursuit I like. I like trivia games. I don't like Candyland and stuff like that when I was a little kid. No, but what about as an adult? You don't like playing fun stuff? No. Ah, stuff's great. Weak bit. It's fun. Wow. It's fun for the whole family. You don't sit and play games at your house. You and Rebecca don't have people over to play games? We've done that. Thanks for the invite, pal. But no, I mean, it's... We have done that. Jamie does. I don't. I'm kind of a killjoy. You know why it's funny? You know why it's great? Because you get to see people do things they don't normally do. It's not good for me. I like when people play, like, charades. Catchphrase is really funny because people are trying to describe things and they, like... The people that are trying to guess yell out things like, Shoesock! Shoesock! It's Shoesock! Things that don't make any sense. That's fun. I'm real competitive. It's not a good thing. Yeah, that's why it's fun. It's not a good thing. Because I'll be like, F you! You know, I'll be like that guy. Yeah, you cheat! I'll be that guy. 570-1949 is our number. We got M1 John on the line. And he's calling from North County. You there, John? I'm here. What's going on? What happened when they ditched Mikey for a...

2:32:41To go pick up your brother. Everybody bailed except for Wood. And so it was me, my wife, Wood, and his wife. Let me clarify, though. Did Wood get paid to go? Yeah, I paid Wood. He got paid. Wood got paid. No, wait, you gave it back. I gave it back. You gave it back. Yeah, because I bought dinner. He bought dinner. Delicious dinner. L-O-B. skedaddled on us. You guys were eating dinner at 9.30. No, we didn't. We didn't. Well, you told me 9.30. I know, I know, because we thought we were going to eat at that time. If you'd gone for the ride, you would have seen, first of all, the amount of fun that we had. I was asleep before. Probably, Jamie and I probably laughed harder than we've ever laughed in our lives that night. In the car. I almost wrecked the car and I almost had an aneurysm. So let me tell you, John. We're picking up my brother from the airport and we're driving to the airport and Woods goes, oh my goodness, look at the Coronado freaking bridge. He goes, they put those lights up. And I look at it and I go, dude, that's awesome. And he goes, hey, listen. He goes, we gave the city a hard time about it, but I got to say, it's pretty badass. And I looked at it and I go,

2:34:07Badass. It looks great. Yeah. And Rebecca and Jamie Woods' wife sit in the back seat and my wife goes, guys, that's a cruise ship. No. That's the lights on a cruise ship. You idiot. Oh, my God. Smart. Savvy. We were like. Oh, yeah, yeah. How do you mistake a cruise ship for a break? Our depth perception was off, obviously. You guys wasted? No, here's the thing. You got to drink before you went. No, here's the thing. We went on about it. Yeah. For like five minutes before the sadists in the backseat were like, they thought it was so funny. They know right away. Yes. They were blue and red. And they have the top of the ship, right? Yeah. And they just run lights down it. And we were like, from where we, it looked like the peak of a bridge. I'm like, dude, yeah.

2:35:12And you thought that was money well spent. Oh, we were all the way sold. Yeah, we were like, hey, listen, it really is a beautiful job. I said, I stand corrected. I stand corrected on that. It's a beautiful, beautiful bridge. Wow. Yes, we looked like giant morons. I wonder if the cruise ship paid like, what was it? $500,000. $500,000. Well, then. We were going to the airport after dinner and we drove by. It was the Midway. It was the Midway. And we drove by it and the women are cackling. And the women start going, oh wow, I wonder if we could drive across the bridge right now. But yet, aforementioned bridge. Still not lit up? No. Still not lit up. Oh, perfect. Right in time for the holidays. Yeah. That's what we thought. Money well spent. They did it. Wow. But the Midway is lit up. The Midway is beautiful and gorgeous, if I do say so. Yeah. Pay me a million bucks. I'll go light that for you. Oh, yeah. There you go. There you go. Thank you for the call. M1 Patrick from Santee. You know, I'm transitioning from Thanksgiving to the holidays, and nothing, nothing would make that finer than Santa Baby.

2:36:34I agree. That is a great... Yeah. Especially since they're back together now. It's got a whole new meaning. She'll probably do a little lingerie show for them. I'm not. In Santa Baby, you know. That's just in my head when I hear that. Oh, sure. Yours and everybody else's, pal. Well, for those of you that don't know what Santa Baby is, our very own Lauren O'Brien, years ago, as a gift to her boyfriend, She's with her boyfriend now. Matt Commerce. Her BFMC. Her boyfriend, Matt Commerce. She went into the bathroom with a computer and recorded into the computer her singing Santa Baby. She had to download the music, karaoke version, and she sang along to it. And then she sent it to him in email form and wanted him to enjoy it. 79 cents well spent. Up until a few months ago, he and her were the only two that had ever heard it. Open your big mouth. It's like burlesque. Digging in there. Woods is biting the tips of his white gloves off. Sexy. I need a little Santa cutie. We are so past when we needed to break. We really are. I'm going to roll. I think we're fine. I think we're okay.

2:38:37had his jaw dropped open. Yes. Is it Rick Springfield coming in? He's a real singer. See what he thinks. No. Don't you dare. I will quit on the air. Santa, honey. Honey. Just making love to that microphone. Yeah, real good. You know, people regularly would go doo-doo in this studio. So nothing's changed. This recording studio was also the place that people would rid themselves of human waste. They also washed their hands in there, brushed teeth, shaved. And went caca. Do you want to know the worst thing about where I used to live? This is why I was so afraid and why I had to do one take Jake because the door to the garage was connected to this bathroom.

2:39:56So if someone walked in on me, if I didn't have my equipment, like I could lock the door and I could like, but if I had my equipment laid out and they came home and were like, what are you doing? You walk out with all the equipment under your arm. Nothing. I was going to the bathroom. With a microphone and a laptop. Lauren, I have to poo. Please hurry here, please. Can you finish recording Santa, baby? Because I have to go pee. Lauren, are you still recording Santa, baby? Wait up! You know, she couldn't wait. She couldn't have waited until she knew nobody would be in. She's like, I gotta get this done, and I gotta get it done right now. There's three people that live there. We're all on different schedules. I never knew when anyone was coming or going. Lauren, were you singing Santa, baby? Did I dream that? Or did I dream that? And I'm the cheap one. This is what you got him for his Christmas present. Really? It's not the only thing. This was a last-minute bonus. I got him a can, too. No, that year I got him a lot. I kissed him on the lips. Told him I like you. Oh, I almost want to play this whole song. L.O.B.'s head is turning blue. I'm so mad. Rick Springfield will be in here. This was option number two, but I couldn't sing like Mariah.

2:42:12Do you want to have done this? Oh, heck yeah. I love this song. I love it. Wood doesn't like Christmas music. Dude, people are going to start calling me Wood, and I don't want them to. Come on, Wood, relax. God bless. Wood, I could rock this song in June. I hate it my whole life. Steve Wood. Steve Wood. Is Steve Wood here? That's like saying Lauren Bryan. Yeah, Lauren Bryan. Mike Sparza. Mike Espinosa. Mike Espinosa. Jay Isabel. Oh, God. How do you not like this, Wood? It's fun. It's great. Yeah. By far my favorite Christmas song. Yeah, it's a good one. Mine's a little drummer boy with Bowie and Bing Crosby. It kills me. I'd crank this in the car.

2:43:17Why do you not like it? I don't not like it. Does it make you feel gay? Is that it? A little bit. Why? Mariah Carey's a good singer. You've got to embrace your age, dude. I am. You're not 21. You're not doing Jaeger bombs anymore. Aren't I? You're not. I know. I wish I was. Just be an old guy. Just be like, hey, I like the sound of her voice. I just, yeah, whatever. Okay, fine. You can't. I like it. I'm in. I embrace it. You were really coming out of your shell. I was. Letting people know. I have a weird thing with Christmas, man. You don't like the music. I'm not. I don't like the overkill of music. Like, I figure I come here to FM 94.9 and I don't hear Christmas music. Listen. Because I got to hear it in the Gap. I got to hear it at, you know, McDonald's. I got to hear it. You only get it a little while. I only want it a little while. You can have it anytime you want it. Yeah, I know, but we don't. But you can. Yeah. We don't. We only have it at Christmas time. It's kind of like being married, right? Doesn't that tell you something? Yeah, it tells you that you don't play something that's out of season. Doesn't make sense. So when it's in season, do it up. Nobody got that joke? I didn't hear it. I said it's kind of like being married, huh? What was the reference? You can have it whenever you want it. Right. Take it. Exactly. It's like being married. Hey, Rick Springfield's here. How you doing, Rick? Hey, good. Good to see you. Good to see you.

2:44:40I started to read the book. I only got it last week, and I'm the worst in reading fast. I can't read fast. Are you like that? You wrote a book, but are you like that where you can't read fast, or do you read fast? I read fast enough. I read a lot. You're one of these guys that can read a book on the plane? No, no, no, no. I take my time. And if it's really good, I slow down reading so it lasts longer. Yeah. Well, the one thing I can say about your book, which is called Late Late at Night, is it's very honest. You're very, very honest to the extent that sometimes it makes you not look like such a great guy, but you're honest about it. You know, you tell the truth. Yeah. And it's, you know, very compelling. And he wrote it by yourself. You didn't write it. You used a ghostwriter. No, no, I wrote it by myself, usually with celebrity bios. tell the story into a tape recorder and then the writer goes away and writes it but um i'm a writer and they didn't know that when they signed me but but i sent them the first 30 000 words i'd written and they loved the voice and encouraged me to to do it myself so i was very happy that that i did because i want to be i want to pursue writing i love writing generally you know i mean it kind of was diverted into songs for a while but but i uh i'm working now more on prose as well let me tell you

2:46:03Guy looks good. Looks great. And I'm sitting here and I'm like, it's freaking Rick Springfield right there. It's awesome, dude. It's awesome. I mean, you know, I'm 35 years old. So, I mean, I've been there. You know, my wife is a huge fan. She's so mad that she can't be here today to meet you. Well, it's so, you know, as I was reading the book, it's such a life that 1% of the population will. Not even one. Not even one, right? Not even 1%, yeah. And, you know, ever sort of live out what you lived out. Yeah. I mean, it's the I mean, the fact that I'm a musician plays into the story, you know, but it's really a story about a human being. You know, I mean, everything to do with it are human threads. I mean, the whole depression thing I've had to do with the whole sexual stuff. Yeah. You know, it's stuff that everybody and my love of dogs. Mine, too. I've got five. Can't go wrong. Can't go wrong. You know, the book starts out with Rick talking about, you know, right from the very beginning, you tell where Jesse's girl came from. Right. And you say that it was a girl named Sylvia that was in a class that you were in? Well, that's inside Sylvia. But Jesse, there was a girl that was in a class. It was a stained glass class. Stained glass. I thought for some odd reason I was going to become a master stained glass.

2:47:29Wow. Rick, who didn't, you know, at one point in our lives? Exactly. I was just following the dream, you know? Yeah, kicking tires. But I got a pretty good song out of it, so I was okay with that. But there was a girl in the class, and I was hot for her. And, you know, they were friends. Yeah. So it didn't go anywhere. Not that, I mean, I wouldn't have, I probably wouldn't have taken it if it had stepped up, but she was not interested. Right? But, I mean, talk about an interesting life. Rick, you know, my wife didn't know this. I was telling my wife about it. My wife didn't know. She thought that it started with Jesse's Girl and with General Hospital. She didn't realize he had records. 19 million records. Wow. Insane. That's how many albums he sold. Yep. 19 million. Wow. And from what we're seeing on Facebook, you get the ladies that still show up to these shows. Yeah, we're getting actually a great cross section. You know, guys are showing up. We're getting kids from, you know, the song Beyond Glee and the radio. It's been in like, I don't know, 10 different movies now, Jessie's Girl. And it's one of those songs that just kind of seems to go on and on. And I'm thankful for that. Certainly has nothing to do with me other than I wrote it. Woods and I, because you bring up the movie, Woods and I are a big fan of a movie that your song was featured in. And I just want to ask if there's any...

2:48:51involvement on your part other than just saying yeah you can use my song it was boogie nights yeah well that was that was kind of the resurgence of of jesse's girl was that movie really uh and i didn't know anything about it i mean the movie was out and someone said oh your song's in this movie really your song's in this movie you didn't have to give the permission no i mean they they i own half the publishing but they just have to ask universal owns the other half of jesse's girl i own 100% of just about everything else, but the first couple of albums, I only had 50, which is actually not bad. I'm glad to at least had 50% of the publishing. Sure. They just have to ask one of them, and they went to Universal, and they said, sure. I mean, I wouldn't have said no. Right. You know, I mean. So you don't even, okay, well, that answers the question. Well, the whole 13 going on 30, which was a movie that they based around this girl's crush on me with. had my video on it, the Jessie Girl video. I had no idea about it until after the movie was done. And they called us up and said, we need permission to use your video because it was my video. So I said, yeah, sure. Like I said, you're not going to say no, but I mean, it's... That is the last thing I thought you were going to say. I thought, I imagined that you were going to give me this story. Oh yeah, Paul Thomas Anderson, the director of the film. I read something he wrote after the movie about

2:50:10using jessie's girl it was very cool he it was a very complimentary article about why he used that song why did he it's uh because it has a dark quality to it that he really liked and it is it's uh it is most of my songs are written from a dark perspective even though i had this image as this shiny happy guy you know at uh they're they're all from majority of from perspectives of want and and desire, unfulfilled desire, and paranoia. Rick Springfield is in studio with us. Genuine clinical depression? Genuine, like, diagnosed clinical depression? Well, the book starts out with me hanging myself in my gardens, in my parents' garden shed. 17 years old. 17 years old. And I was committed to it, and the rope came untangled. And after I'd hung there for like 15, 20 seconds, I was losing consciousness. What was the issues at 17 that you wanted to end at all? Puberty. I mean, it's terrible on everybody, but it was especially, especially kicked my ass. It was really, really, I felt I was failing in school, which was the only public arena that I was in at the time. I was failing in that. I had no friends. I felt really uncomfortable and ugly in my own skin. I had no.

2:51:24no girlfriend, you know, and I was just, I was staying home from school. So if you, you know, now looking back at that, because you have kids, now looking back at it, if you recognized in your own kids any of the same things that you went through, and I think of this myself, my son, I have a four-year-old that's autistic, and I think, what if he's got to go through teasing and stuff like that, you know, and I think, man, what if he was 17 and he's got any of his mom and his pop in him? You know, he's going to have this darkness because I know I have. I've had addiction and all that stuff. And so I'm thinking, as a parent, what would you do? What would you say? Or can you? You can't really. I mean, I have had the conversation lines open really early with my boys, and they do talk honestly with me. You know, it's nothing like I. I mean, I never had that with my parents, although we had a great family, but it just wasn't. done i didn't would never have talked to this about my mom about the fact that i you know they didn't even know i tried to kill myself i mean they i wore a sweater to cover the rope around my neck for about a month my goodness and and they knew i was uh you know i was a dark kid but i know i didn't even know it's depression i mean i thought every artist that i loved like oscar wilde and beethoven and edgar allen poe you know we're all dark souls i thought it was just

2:52:48what an artist was you know i was already a musician i was writing and i wanted to pursue that life and i just thought everyone just used to call me moody you know no one knew what depression was were you ever clinically diagnosed with it um i don't know i i i don't know how how they detect that other than you know there's no reason i mean the fact that i think once you realize at some point you're going to die i think that's probably a pretty yeah i'd put just slammer on it for for quite a while you know sure facing your mortality and I've only ever met one person who says I've never been depressed, and that's my editor and publisher of the book, and she's unbelievable. She's an incredible woman, 50 years old, and is a triathlete, and has a kid, and runs a business. You know, is a lead publisher in New York. God bless her. She's never been depressed. Yeah, I know. That's what I say. I want some of what she's smoking. Hey, we're terribly late, so I have to take this break, but we'll come back, and we'll talk to Rick Springfield. He's got a book called Late, Late at Night. It's really good. I mean, I'm finished it because I just got it and I read. I can only read as fast as I talk. It's weird. ADD doesn't help. That's right. I mean, I keep drifting off and going, reading and going, oh, wow. Yeah. That's shiny. It's true. All right. Real quickly, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back with Rick Springfield. We're just talking Kings of Leon with Rick Springfield. It's a pretty surreal day for me. Rick's got a new book out. It's called Late Late at Night.

2:54:34And it's good. It's a memoir. And there's no ghostwriter. He wrote it all. And the one thing I was telling him from what I've read of it so far is it's real honest. You know, you're just very, very honest and speak with a really honest voice, which is not easy to do when you're talking about things that are kind of, you know, a lot of us would feel uncomfortable talking about. For instance, you know, you talk about... Well, I look like an idiot, basically. You had a girlfriend. You were living with your girlfriend. She was a model. And the thing that got me about it was, you know, you talk about sort of the relationship that you had with her brother. You were close with her brother. Yeah. He's still my best friend. Is he really? Yeah. We met when he was 19 and I was like 24. And we met in an acting class, my first acting class. And he's Paul Williams on The Young and the Restless. He's been on the show for like 35 years. And we just hit it off. I mean, we're like, you know.

2:55:35Had the same sense of humor and everything. Was her name Deborah or? Diana. Diana. His sister was Diana. She came in later and I started dating her. It was kind of weird to do that. And then afterwards it became almost like a brother-sister relationship with her. So it was kind of difficult breaking up. And as I say in the book, I didn't do it in a particularly manly or attractive way. But I'm not trying to paint myself in any kind of light other than the truth in the book. Yeah. So I've got to be honest, you know, that's the way it went down. He had a very interesting life in terms of his dating life. He dated Linda Blair for a while. And then Linda took back from you a gift that she gave you. Yeah, I was broke at the time, and I met her. I was playing one night at the Whiskey Go-Go, and she'd just come off The Exorcist. And, you know, she was like... the goddess of the screen everyone wanted to meet her and uh she came backstage when i was drying my hair in between sets and we just hit it off and uh and and we started you know living together i i go out there i mean she was she was pretty young i mean it was really kind of raised eyebrows but but it was uh um she was 15 i was 25. oh wow it was kind of like even in the 70s which was pretty free kind of decade that was still like

2:57:00what's going on here? Sure. But it was a great relationship. I mean, it wasn't a predatory relationship at all. It was, I really loved her. Right. And she, me, and her mom loved me and was hoping that we'd eventually, you know, get married. And it was, I'm still friends with her to this day. I mean, she does great work with dogs and I have, you know, I, do we do fan stuff to save money to her to help with the saving of the animals. But do I miss I have ADD? Because I'm completely lucky. The gift. I was talking about the relationships. Oh, yeah, right. And so Linda Blair was one of the... Yeah, she was great. She really saved me. And she got me a four-track tape recorder because I had never had a... a multitrack to record on. This was the first big home machine. Oh, wow. It weighed like a ton. It was huge. And then when we split up, a couple of months later, she said, I want to get the tape machine back. My new boyfriend wants it. And it was freaking Neil Giraldo from Pat Benatar's band, who was her boyfriend, right? Before he met Pat, of course. And then Neil ended up playing on Jessie's Girl. Oh, my God. And we're still friends, you know, and it's like...

2:58:12What a weird... What? What kind of connection is that? Yeah. So the other thing I want to bring up was Californication. Because you don't play Rick Springfield, do you? I play a twisted Rick Springfield. You play a version of Rick Springfield. And I was hesitant to do that at first because I thought, well, they're not going to think I'm acting. But once I read the script... i realized this is a great part i got to do this part it was uh he's a real deviant i mean he's a real user uh all about his ego you know which is so anyone who knows me so knows that so not me i mean i'm the guy that like wouldn't even put platinum records up on the wall because i thought it was you know i was like trying to be something i'm not and uh um so so i when i read it i said i gotta do this part this is amazing they they use some references to you know they use references to jesse's girl to my actual history, but the character went completely south. I mean, completely south. Well, when we talked about you coming in, a lot of people were really on the Californication saying, you know, love you on Californication. So here's the thing. Like I said, 19 million records and was on General Hospital, played Dr. Drake on General Hospital, which those years, I can't even imagine.

2:59:38what it must have been like to be you, because... It was pretty fun. Yeah. It was pretty fun. And he's open, too, in the book about the groupie sex. Yeah. You probably didn't get any phone numbers. No, yeah. You didn't get any phone numbers or anything. Didn't close much biz. Let me ask you. Because I'll never, you know, I'm a married guy, and I don't look like Rick Springfield. I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing. No, it's like looking in a mirror. He's taller than you. He's just a little bit taller. Rick, when you walked in, did you go, holy cow, it's my doppelganger. Did you walk in and go, he and I are almost identical twins. But anyway, were you at that point where, because you talk openly in the book about the women and that kind of thing, were you at a point where

3:00:40Because you hear people say this, but you go, is it really like that? Where you could just pick a girl, and if you wanted to, sleep with her? Or was it not like that? No, it was. I mean, you know. Oh, my God. No, it was. I love it. No, I love it. No, Mike, you got it right the first time. It was just like that. No, I mean, obviously, if they're there to see you, then, you know, they have this. It took me a long time to realize. I thought it was all about me. And I realize now, after which I wanted a long career, after. some years in the career it's really all about the fans but i you know i mean i would i would kind of you know i i was a young guy yeah and i hadn't ever felt particularly attractive or attractive to women and suddenly to have all this because i'm very shy and i and i really i could never have the gift of the gab and thank god for the guitar i would never gotten laid once i started playing guitar you didn't think you were handsome right no no no no i dude i i grew up first of all i grew up in australia where it's it's it's almost when i was growing up it was almost uh if you were good looking you know you had to fight your way to the bar kind of thing you know they got called names and etc and um so um

3:01:55It wasn't an issue, you know, and I really didn't feel it was because of my depression. You know, the book talks about my lifelong depression. And part of that was that I never felt like I was enough. And that is in all areas. And that's also part of my drive and still is part of my drive. Why I'm so hungry and why I keep going for, you know, not just sitting back and part of why I'm not just sitting back and coasting. Also, I feel like I have something still to say. I have a lot to say. So, again, I've lost my point completely. That's right. Hey, you know what? My favorite interviews, honestly, are the honest ones. You know, my favorite interviews are the honest ones. And what did I know from Rick Springfield before you came in here? Honestly, I mean, I knew Jessie's girl, and I didn't watch General Hospital. But I... Me either. Don't feel bad. Hey, during the General Hospital days, did you go, yeah, I'm not bad looking? I did get a bit of, you know, well, if there's as much attention, then, you know, I got some self-worth from it, but it was only temporary because self-worth is within. In the end, it got to be there's just not enough people telling me this to have me believe it, which is when depression starts to come back in. Part of my drive to be successful, apart from wanting my music to be out there, was that I thought it would heal me. I thought if I got enough success that I would think that I was okay.

3:03:23It's not so, though. No, it's not so. And honestly, there's been a couple of guys who said, come on, you're Rick Springfield. What do you got to be depressed about? That's nothing to do with it. I mean, it's to do with my interior life. And that is always who I am and who I will always be. And I don't identify myself with my success. And I think that is, I mean, I identify with it, but that's not my. where I find myself worth, and I thought it was going to be where I'd find myself worth. And so you have to find it, and that's why I took time off to go to therapy and really search it out. I have to ask you this, and we've got to wrap up. The book's called Late, Late at Night. It's a memoir by Rick Springfield. Where do you get the cool rock star jewelry? Like, you know, here's what I wonder about rock stars. They have cool stuff. Always. And I go, well, you didn't just go to the mall. You know, you didn't go to the Gap. Claire's Boutique. Yeah. And so I wonder, where do you get stuff like that? I know one place in Maui where they sell a lot of rock star stuff. It's like $1,000 for a little pinky ring. But where do you get, you've got on a cool necklace and a cool bracelet.

3:04:40Where does one acquire such offerings? Well, the necklace is a Buddhist necklace because I meditate and it gives me some comfort to wear it. But it was kind of expensive. But this is online. It's an ion bracelet for $80. And this was given to me by a fan, which is a magnetic bracelet because I have a sore shoulder right now. But I do. I mean, all the stuff that I have means something. given to me, you know, and I don't kind of go out looking for rock star stuff. I kind of try and shun that. That's cool, though. I mean, I just wonder, like, where does somebody get that? Malibu. There you go. There you go. All right, Rick, thanks. I appreciate you coming in, and it was really cool to talk to you, and your book is good, and it's called Late, Late at Night. It's a memoir, and... It was nice to talk to you, and thank you for coming in. Thanks, sir. The lovely and talented Hillary is in studio with us, and what do you got coming up, Hill? I was out of breath running to get up here so I could meet Rick Springfield. Yeah. I grabbed the specials and the black keys and the temper trap and Fitz and the tantrums and the rest I'll grab when I get in there. I was in such a hurry. So nice to meet you, Rick Springfield. That's right. Awesome. All right, well, we're going to take a 20-hour break and come back tomorrow morning and do it over again, so The Mikey Show is out late.