The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 12/02/11
Friday, December 2, 2011
birthdaysHerman CainHeath Bell tradehorse meatUlta visitWoods open‑season interviewJulio Diaz storyHoliday Hootenannyriot wordBe Different bracelettattoo song requestsL.O.B. uncensored act
The show opened with birthday celebrations for Lauren O'Brien (L.O.B.) and featured a recurring joke about a Patrice O'Neal clip. Host Mikey and co‑hosts Jay and Woods spent considerable time discussing the potential interview with Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain and the imminent trade of Padres closer Heath Bell to the Miami Marlins, critiquing the Padres' handling of Bell's contract. Later segments included a lively debate about the legalization of horse meat for consumption, Mikey's embarrassing anecdote from a visit to Ulta, Woods' cringe‑worthy "open season" interviews with women about boyfriends, and an uplifting NPR story about Julio Diaz's kindness to a robber. The program also promoted the upcoming Holiday Hootenanny concert, repeatedly used the word "riot" as the word of the day, and highlighted the Be Different bracelet initiative.
What happened, in order
Patrice O'Neal birthday joke
Mikey recalls a politically incorrect Patrice O'Neal clip about white women's beauty while celebrating L.O.B.'s 31st birthday.
Herman Cain and Heath Bell talk
The crew discusses the possible appearance of Herman Cain on the show and confirms that Heath Bell is likely to join the Miami Marlins pending a physical.
Heath Bell contract details
Woods and Mikey detail Heath Bell's three-year, $27 million deal with the Marlins, criticize the Padres for not offering him an extra year, and note Jed Hoyer's failure to call him.
Request for L.O.B.'s uncensored act
A caller asks to see Lauren O'Brien perform a 40‑minute uncensored set, noting she made Mikey fall to the ground with her material the previous day.
Horse meat debate
The hosts debate Congress lifting the ban on horse meat for human consumption, comparing it to other controversial foods and discussing cultural attitudes.
Mikey's Ulta embarrassment
Mikey recounts his awkward trip to Ulta to buy a mattifier and moisturizer, where he fears the alarm will go off as he leaves with a women's robe.
Woods' open‑season interview
Woods describes his embarrassing street interviews where he asks young women about their boyfriends and what they want for Christmas, revealing his own awkward tone.
Julio Diaz kindness story
Mikey shares an NPR story about Julio Diaz, who gave his wallet and coat to a teenage robber, then bought the kid's knife and treated him to dinner.
People mentioned
MikeyJayWoodsNicoleLauren (L.O.B.)RebeccaHerman CainHeath BellJed HoyerPatrice O'NealSarah SilvermanJulio DiazRick PerryCheyenne
37,655 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Good morning. How are you? Hope you guys are having a good time. Oh, yeah. This is like I love starting the morning this way. I'm Jay. I'm the host of your show. And here comes Mikey back from the. Little girls room. He's wearing a blue shirt. He's slightly overweight. Wow. L.O.B. is beautiful this morning. Happy birthday to her. Look at that face. Mikey is giving me the stinky stare down. The stink eye. My good friend Woods. Hi, buddy. Over there. Nicole is answering the phones. And then there's Jay, who's fabulous today. Finally.
Thank you, my friend. Thank you. Sweet relief in your ears. It is such honey. Caught a little mold. Ow, ow, ow. Gosh, you're going to blot your own right. Just dip right into it. If you can't hold it, then start again. Gorgeous man. Owned it. Oh, yeah, he owned it. He made it his own. And that's something that not everybody can do. No, it's something that it really takes a lot of talent to be able to take something and just make it into your thing. Yeah. Everybody can just sing it the way it's supposed to be. Right. I mean, I've always been fascinated by guys that can take something and make it sound completely different from how it's supposed to. Yeah. He rearranged it. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, happy birthday to our girl. Who wants a spanking?
It's right out of the gate there. 31. L-O-B. Stop it. You know what I hate about birthdays now? What? It's like you just get used to saying your age. And then it's time to say the new one. L-O-B, let me tell you. You don't look 31 years of age. Thank you. You look a lot younger than 31. Doesn't look a day over 25. Thank you. I would agree with that. Who was the guy, the really funny comedian that passed away the other day, Patrice O'Neal? He had a very funny clip that I heard. He goes, you know how you can tell how beautiful a white woman is? You ask yourself, how long would she go missing before people would notice? It was one of the funniest but most politically incorrect things I'd ever heard. How much did you get for her? That's right. Well, today is L.O.B.'s birthday. Tomorrow is my wife Rebecca's birthday. Yesterday, Sarah Silverman, three very important women. There you go. There you go. Well, Jay and L.O.B. and Woods got me this morning. Yeah.
They brought in a present for me to give to Rebecca in a Victoria's Secret bag. I didn't think you were going to fall for it. Oh, he fell for it. He fell for it. You fell hard. And I said, what is that? And they said, it's for Rebecca. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. And I go, that's dumb. Why did you do that? And then, of course, Jay has to throw in, what? It's just panties and bra. I said, I know they'll fit. Oh, my gosh. No. Don't do that. Yeah. We're going to do it. Please. Oh, yeah. Oh, well, I'm speechless now. So there's that. Happy birthday, Rebecca. Yes. That's right. Happy birthday, L.O.B. Happy birthday to my wife. There's humongous news today. Potentially, you know, potentially we could have two of the biggest newsmakers in the news world. and the sports world on the Mikey show today. Crazy. And it kind of, it almost makes my head spin. Yeah. In the news world, the biggest person today is Herman Cain. And I've been told that we will have Herman Cain on the Mikey show today. Wow. Wow. Wait, you said we might have Herman Cain on the Mikey show. That is correct. Happy birthday, L.O.B. That is cool. Yeah.
I used to date Herman Cain. No. I used to date Herman Cain. No, no, no. I used to date a girl named Lolly who is in his, she's one of his campaign organizers. And if you know what I mean. Is it just going to start this way? I mean, we just, we haven't even barely got started. You know what I mean? And I'm already saying, please. And but anyway, so I wrote her yesterday and I said, can you come on the air and give me your thoughts? Because I've seen her come up in my news feed saying, you know, she really supports him. And so, you know, I wanted to talk to her as a one of the campaign organizers and somebody that was on board early with Herman Cain and say, well, you make all this stuff. And so she did one better. She wrote me back and said, I've talked to his campaign manager, and he says he will come on the air with you. And so we should be talking to Herman Cain today. Wow. The other deal is, unfortunately, it looks like we may be losing Heath Bell. Is that right, Woods? That is correct.
That is correct. I, much to my surprise and dismay, opened my computer this morning to find out that sources have confirmed that Thursday night, the new Miami Marlins, they were the Florida Marlins. They have new ownership. They have a new stadium. The new Miami Marlins have... They do? I didn't know that. They don't play in that old... That turd? Was it Joe Robbie or something? Yeah, dude. It was a turd. They have a new stadium. They have a new owner, new uniforms, the Miami Marlins now. Now, listen, these guys have made a run at Albert Pujols. They've made a run at Jose Reyes. They finally landed their big-name free agent. Unfortunately, it's Heath Bell. And three-year deal, $27 million, good for him. He'll be able to take care of his family for the rest of his life. But I was thinking about the current state of the Padres lineup today, and I said, well, that was the guy. You know, if you went to Petco. You'd hope they'd be in the lead in the ninth so you could stay and watch Heath Bell. He was the all-star, the superstar of that team. Doesn't look like he's going to be around. He's taking a physical today. And if he passes that physical, he will be a Miami Marlin. He will be the closer for the Miami Marlins. What a bummer. Now, the reason that we say that we potentially could be talking to the two biggest newsmakers today is because it's early. It's only 6'10".
But when it gets to be a little bit later, I'm going to text Heath because I know him. And he's one of my Be Different guys. Yep. Which is, if you haven't heard of that, go to BeDifferentPact.org and get yourself a free bracelet. It's just a pact that we make to be kind to other people. And Heath is a really good dude. Yes, sir. A really good dude. And a great closer. And a great closer. And he's probably sleeping right now or maybe not. I don't know. Maybe he wakes up to the text that you sent. Yeah. Maybe you fire it off. I will. When we go on to the next break, I'll text him. I know it's early, but it'd be great to have him on. This is what I was really, really disappointed about when I read this. As you know, Jed Hoyer left the Padres to go become the general manager of the Cubs. Well, apparently when Jed Hoyer left, nobody thought to call. heath bell in the new regime he says he says quote i stopped hearing from the padres when jed left oh my gosh how the hell is that possible how's that possible man he wanted a three-year deal he's 34 that would make him 37 when he was done and he he's a smart dude um they wouldn't give him any more than two years with an option for a third year so he wanted a three-year deal he's entitled to it he deserves it he's one of the best in the game he's the only guy
in the last three years to have 40 or more saves. Yeah. The only closer, my friend, to have 40 or more saves in each of the past three seasons. Think about all the great closers out there. Heath Bell's the only one, and you won't give him an extra year. Terrible. And you don't bother calling him. Come on, dude. That's not good. Come on, man. Not good. Come on. Come on, man. Come on. So, yeah, I'll text him in a little bit. 570-1949. If you would like to wish our girl, Lauren O'Brien, a happy birthday, call us right now. 570-1949. Yeah. Today's a big day for her. And you're celebrating in a pretty cool way tonight. I am. Yeah. I'm going up to the Hollywood Improv to do a set. Yeah. Yeah. Made it big time, kid. Yeah, we're making like a night of it. That was the original intention. And now that I'm going to be up there, got us to do a set. Pretty cool. Really? That is so rad. So great. Dude, it's Hollywood. Yeah. It's as big as a guest. You never know who may walk in those doors. They're saying that there could be a very special guest on the line. This is the deal. And I've said this from the beginning.
I'm just enjoying the time I get to hang with Lauren. Oh, stop it. SNL's going to call soon. They better. We've got to find somebody else. Here's the thing. I wrote it on her Facebook this morning that when I was looking for somebody, she is literally, she's literally a gift from God. I yesterday marked the three-year anniversary of my first ever stand-up set. Wow. That stand-up set was the stand-up set that I put on YouTube. It was a horrible, horrible set. It's since been removed, but Mikey saw it, saw enough in there to give me a YouTube message, then give me a call, then give me a lunch, then give me a job. And right now, I'm in my dream job, so I'm not worried about no Hollywood. Don't get all Hollywood on us. I'm not going to get all Hollywood on you. She's awesome. It's a 12-minute set, so it's not like... She's one of the people. She's one of the... Few women that I know that have been again and again and again and again referred to as a badass. Oh, yeah. She's a badass. In fact, that should be her nickname. Like, you know how they have nicknames for people in comedy? The badass of comedy. The B.A. L.O. Badass. L.O. Badass. That's badass. There you go. M1 Cam from Oceanside is on the line. Hi, Cam. Good morning, Mike.
Good morning, Yellow Bay. Good morning. How's it going, y'all? Going good. How are you? I'm still recovering. So yesterday after the show, I made a little appointment with Janae. Oh, yeah. Oh, no way. Wait, wait, wait. Now, let me describe for people that don't know what you're talking about. Yesterday, we did the wheel of wax where we spun a wheel. And on the wheel of wax was chest, arms, back, and legs. And whatever it landed on, both Woods and Jay spun it twice. Whatever it landed on, they had to do. And my esthetician, Janae, was in here. Oh, yeah. And she waxed the both of them yesterday. And it hurt. You could hear it being torn, the hair being torn from the flesh as she ripped out their hairy bodies. Now, you made an appointment with her. Yes, I did. I had a little brow action going down. Nice. Look at you. Did she get you fixed up? Absolutely. You know, like, my granddad's part Irish and part Indian and part black and blah, blah, blah. So my eyebrows are huge.
Right. I was trying to figure out, you know, do I tweeze them? Do I cut them? And someone's like, well, why don't you wax them? Literally on Wednesday. Yeah. Hey, why don't you wax them? So, you know, coincidence. And it hurt like a mother. Yeah, it does. Well, yeah, but you know what happens? You get used to it. You do. You really do. You get used to it because when I first went in and did it, because I have Oscar the Grouch eyebrows, and when I first went in and did it, it hurt. But now I go in there, it's like nothing. Yeah, I had. Like, involuntary tears rolling down my face the first time I had it done, and now I actually enjoy it. Yeah. Like, I like the way that it feels. I kind of do, too. Wow. I kind of do, too. That's strange. And it's all, you know, the music and the ambiance is great, and she talks to you. You know, it's like when you get your blood drawn. If the bottom is whatever, it's good, they're talking to you, and you don't even realize it, and then it's done. Well, I guess here's the big question. Would you do it again? Oh, absolutely, yeah. That's going to be a regular deal. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there you go, man. Cam, congratulations, and good for you getting 50% off going to see her yesterday. Oh, yeah, and even without it, the prices are amazing, so I'm definitely going to be going back. That's awesome. And officially endorse all the other M1s. There you go. Look at that, glaring endorsement. That's awesome, man. There you go. All right, take care, y'all. All right, thanks. M1 Oscar from IB. Hey, good morning, Mikey. Good morning.
Hey, happy birthday, Laura. Thank you. Can somebody tell him my name is Lauren? Oh, I'm sorry, Lauren. Yeah, this is a silly mistake. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you, man. M1 Sciences from Carlsbad. Hey, I love you. Happy birthday. Thank you, darling. Yeah. Very nice. My birthday was yesterday, actually. Oh, you and Sarah Silverman. There you go. And I wanted to say, I've had progressively bad birthdays for the last 15 years, but you guys had me crying with laughter yesterday. That's awesome. And it's the first good birthday that I've had since I turned 22. There you go. Well done. Happy birthday. This is M1 Rebecca from Kearney Mesa. What's going on? Good morning. I just want to say happy birthday to LLOB. Thank you. Hope you have a great birthday. Thank you so much. You're so sweet. Thanks, Rebecca. M1 Rude Dude from Carlsbad. Yo, Mikey Show. What up? LLOB, happy birthday. Thank you. You know, I'm not a, in general, I don't know if it's a general thing, like just women in general. I don't generally find them funny. I would rather listen to you and I'm more entertained by you.
than I think anyone else in the entertainment industry. Yeah. Yes. Nice. That's awesome. If you were on SNL, I would say I haven't watched that show in 10 years. Yeah, well, she's SNL funny. Let's not worry about that. Yeah. Yeah, well. You're so sweet, though. Thank you. You know what I'd like to see L.O.B. do? What? I'd like to see her. I'm not going to strip. Besides that. Gosh, Jay got the creepiest smile. Ear to ear. It was just like, oh my gosh, is it going to happen? I would like to see her. Now, her act is pretty uncensored, but I'd like to see her have about. A 40-minute uncensored act because she got us yesterday. She made Mikey fall to the ground. I know. It was something so filthy. She's never done that before. That was a new. Holy cow. She's never done that before. I forget what I said. Oh, I don't. I do not. I do not forget what you said. Oh. Name three judges from American Idol. Yeah, you get enough cocktails in her and, you know, you might, you get a different LOB when she's. One federal agency maintains a U.S. border.
Can you imagine if I went on stage like that? I'm telling you. It would be great. It did happen once. Oh, wow. Well, L-O-B, yeah, I was driving home yesterday talking to a friend. And you hear it a lot from women and you hear it from men. But this girl said, gosh darn, L-O-B really gets me. And I think that's good to hear from another woman saying that. Usually women like my jokes about my mom. They do. Sorry, Mom. I'm telling you. They can relate. And that was one of the things that I heard you say. It was one of the first things that I heard you say on that video that I loved of you. You told a joke about your mom and you were saying how she gets confused with Facebook. She calls it my face. My face. And it made me laugh out loud. Oh, yeah. And I was like, yeah, I think this is a girl. And she didn't have any radio experience, but, you know, you got it. Yeah. You either got it or you don't, and she does. M1 Leanie Beanie from New Jersey is on the line. Oh, my Aunt Eileen. Yeah. Hi there, Eileen. Thank you. That's so nice. Oh, I'm going to cry. That's nice. Don't cry. I just wanted to wish you luck tonight, too. Thank you. Did you know that...
Kim, my sister-in-law, is in labor right now. Now? Yes. Oh, how exciting. Can you imagine? With my goddaughter, my niece, and my goddaughter. How rad would that be? Happy birthday. Isn't that cool? That would be so cool. Yeah. Well, you enjoy your day. Thank you so much. I love you. We'll see you soon, okay? I love you, hon. Okay, bye. We'll see you later. All right, so Herman Cain, I'm still waiting to find out whether or not Herman Cain will be on with us today. Hopefully he will. I know somebody that is in his campaign organization. And so hopefully it will all go down. I woke up this morning to a message saying I spoke to his person and I need your email because we got to get the emails synced. And he says, yes, he'll be on your show. That is so cool. And so that's what we're waiting for. I'm waiting for confirmation on that and for. For them to write me and tell me what's going on. Let's see. Heath Bell, we already mentioned. Heath Bell, most likely. Is it a done deal? Yeah, depending on physical. As long as he passes the physical, Heath Bell is going to the newly named Miami Marlins. Yes. The word of the day today is riot. So I'll weave that into a sentence sometime between now and 10. And when I do, you get a pair of tickets to the Holiday Hootenanny.
It's at Jenny Craig Pavilion, My Morning Jacket, Two Door Cinema Club, Matt and Kim, and Delta Spirit. And if you want to get tickets, you need to do it soon. Yeah, you do. The tickets aren't going to last. FM949SD.com is the website if you want to do that. So, all the allegations against Herman Cain, which, by the way, in case you're wondering, if I talk to him, I'm going to... get in under the hood and I'm not going to hold back. Well, I can't. I mean, you can't not. And so, you know, there's been a lot of allegations. Should I pull the clip from yesterday where we were riffing on him and Neil, what is it? Cabuto. And see if he... thinks it's funny. I don't know that he would be necessarily down with that. Should I pretend that I'm Neil Cavuto and ask him questions like, Harry Herman, have you ever made love to another woman other than your wife? I do not think you should do that. I don't think that he would find it as funny as we found it. If you change your mind, I've got it. And I'm ready. Dialed in. Well, if you're wondering what they were talking about, this was the clip that we played from Neil Cavuto. Listen to this. It was yesterday's promo, as a matter of fact.
Can you say unequivocally tonight that there were any others that might be coming forward? Yes, I know. He's got a different, kind of interesting sounding voice. He's going to blow my nose really quickly. So the question that he asked to Herman Cain, can you say unequivocally that there won't be any more women coming forward to say that you and them were knocking uglies? Neil, I was in business for over 40 years. I have worked with and helped. A lot of people, male and female. There is no way for me to say unequivocally that somebody else may not come up. All right. So Herman Cain is going to be. Now, I found this fascinating. The wording of this. Yes. Story comes out of Columbia, South Carolina, it says. And it's from the AP, the Associated Press. It says Herman Cain is set to meet with his wife for the first time since this woman has come forward. What? Claiming that she had a 13-year affair with him for the first time. What the heck? Don't you just call that going home? I would think so. But I guess if you're on the road and you're doing a camp, you know, you're in a bus and you're doing the whole... He probably doesn't have a cell phone either. Yeah. Don't you think your wife would call you and go, hey, you think my wife would text me if that came out about me? How about you stop by the house? Wait a minute. L.O.B. brings up an interesting point. Maybe what this is saying.
Is that they have been in contact plenty, but this is the first time that face-to-face, maybe that's the deal. I don't know. Do you think he's nervous? I think he could be a little bit nervous. He is preparing for one last campaign stop before he decides whether or not he's going to move forward with his presidential bid. How can he? I know. I mean, a 13-year affair is a hard thing to overcome. If those allegations are false, that would be a whole waste of money. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it would. To stop your campaign because of something like that. I mean, that would be such a waste of money. False. And people's time, you know. Absolutely. Well, we'll find out. I'm black. I'm black. I heard you. I'm Rick James. I heard you. I heard you the first time. It was Herman Cain. Yeah.
Drink up. Be married. Welcome. Maybe they're listening online. That'd be awesome. Reach for the sky, honky. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Maybe we just leave it at that then, huh? There we go. And scene. Technically, you're a Mexican. Right. Not a honky. Well, the thing is, is that if we do get him on, I will say, hey, Neil Cavuto asked you this question. I'm going to revisit it in a different way. You're a better man than I, because if I interviewed him, I'd ask him about pizza. I'd be scared to death. And I'd ask him about sausage. Oh, boy. On the pizza. On the pizza. I know you would. Hey, speaking of...
Speaking of meat items on your pizza, very soon here in America, it's quite possible, like they do already in other countries, that you could be putting, that's right, horse. Smells like horse. On your pizza. That is correct. I did say horse. And when we come back, I'm going to tell you why. And it's going to blow your mind. To say that we have a big show today is a very drastic understatement. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Only one day to go. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Presented by Coors Light. Tomorrow night on the University of San Diego campus with my morning jacket. Wake it up!
featuring Door Cinema Club, Matt and Kim, Delta Spirit, and the Blackout Party. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus, or FM949SD.com. The FM949 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optic. Join us tomorrow night for an epic evening of music with FM949. For the holidays. You don't put out your everyday china. You take out the wedding china. And you prepare all your treasured holiday foods. Because the holidays are no time to compromise. Which is why on more and more tables across America, you'll find Boar's Head Sweet Slice Ham. Sweet slice has become a holiday tradition. Because ordinary ham has no place at the holiday table. And there's simply no other holiday ham that offers anywhere near the quality and flavor of Sweet Slice. Sweet Slice is Boar's Head smoked bone-in ham without the bone. It's already cooked, so all you do is heat it up and carve. There's no trouble, there's no waste, just applause. From all of us at Boar's Head to all of our friends across this wonderful country of ours, we wish you the happiest of holidays. Boar's Head.
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Hurry in today and you can get the ZTE score for just $79.99 this holiday. It's a great deal and an even better gift. Now at a cricket store. Cricket, your call. If you like Jimmy and you like Willie, you're going to love Lucas Nelson and Promise of the Real appearing live on behalf of Jobs for Autism Saturday, December 10th, 8.30 p.m. at the North Park Theater, 2891 University Avenue. Come see this next legend of rock and roll. Take a start. That's Saturday, December 10th. You'll be blown away. Tickets available online at jobsforautism.com. That's jobsforautism.com. What's two plus two plus two? Four. Because at Denny's, for just $4, you get two fluffy buttermilk pancakes, two eggs cooked to order, and two pieces of sizzling bacon or sausage. Yeah, we're open to new math.
Start your day with a $4 everyday value slam from our 2468 value menu. Only at Denny's. America's Diner is always open. Prices and participation may vary. Channel 4, San Diego. Your home for Aztecs football. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle Fresno State, 5 p.m. Saturday on Channel 4, San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino Post Game Show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego. Now that the Mega Millions jackpot is $75 million, you've got 75 million reasons to play. Drawings are every Tuesday and Friday. Mega Millions from the California Lottery. Imagine what a buck could do. Seeing some heavy traffic now on the five. This report brought to you by Allstate. Call Allstate now. You'll get a lifetime membership and good hands roadside assistance absolutely free. Shop less, get more. Make one call to an Allstate agent. Five northbound, getting busy at Palomar Street. You're going to find patchy traffic on and off the brakes toward Harbor Drive. And a little busy southbound right now, right around Coronado Avenue.
This report also brought to you by Kohl's Department Store. Don't miss Kohl's three-day incredible Christmas sale Thursday through Saturday. Shop over 150 power hour specials Friday 3 p.m. to midnight and Saturday 6 a.m. to 1 p.m. Kohl's. Expect great things. I'm Barbara Brooks, FM 94.9. Good morning, everybody. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to be on the radio and my name was Michael Shannon. And I wore suspenders. Woods. Don't lie to me, do you lie to girl, okay? You don't lie to me. Lauren. Yellow means speed up. Yep. Yellow means hurry up and go. And Jay. So what if I like to surf every day? On FM 94.9. Herman Cain, we may be having Herman Cain on the air with us this morning. I thought you said Herman Cain. I did. Oh, wow. You mean Herman Cain, the regional manager down at Pep Boys? I do not. I mean Herman Cain, the... The Republican that is running for president of the United States of America. Wow. Wow. Let's see. Before we went to break. Oh, by the way, also I want to mention our friend Jared at createyourdesignonline.com. If you're doing anything that has to do with graphic design, whether it's business cards or a website or anything like that.
Make sure that you check out our friend Jared at createyourdesignonline.com. Word of the day, riot. I will mention the word riot in a sentence between now and 10 and when I do call her nine, we're going to send you the holiday hootenanny, which will be sold out. So you either get tickets with us or you get the few that are remaining left. Our phone number here, 570-1949. Before I went to break, I talked about this horse thing and how apparently they're going to begin selling horse right here in America. They already do it in Europe. Why not? It's not even thought of there as a delicacy. It's just part of normal eating. Here, it's the most bizarre thing you could think of. But in Europe, it's like, you guys don't eat horse? Yeah. And so Congress, earlier this month, said that they are going to lift a ban on horses for human consumption here. Now, here's the deal. What are we going to do about the saying, I'm so hungry I can eat a horse? I don't know. Literally. Then you can. What do you say now? Now you can. Now, here's the thing.
Even if we don't like it, let's say they start doing it and they put it in the stores and we don't like it. We refuse to eat it. We're like gross or we feel that it violates some sort of a thing because we love them and they're cute and they're, you know, that kind of thing. We don't think of cows necessarily as cute. We, in fact, like our good ribeye. Oh, yeah. You know, we don't think of pigs as cute. We like pork chops. Oh, yeah. But horses. You know. They're cute. Horses, people, domesticate their pets. They're majestic. You can do the same with cow. Cow folly around just like a horse. Can you ride a horse? I mean, a cow? You can. George Clooney was heartbroken over his pot-bellied pig. Yeah. Oh, yeah. People definitely domestic. But it's more traditional for people to have horses. That makes me sad. It doesn't make any of it any better. It's all the same. What's wrong with just cow meat? Well, why? Well, I mean, if you said that, Woods, then... We got to take pork chops off the... All right, what's wrong with just cow meat and pork chops? Okay, well, if you say that, then we got to take rabbit. We're not allowed to eat that. What about chicken? Chicken, we can't eat that? What's wrong with pork chops, rabbit, chicken, steak, and chicken, and fish? People eat deer, too, Venison. And deer. You know, dogs can be delicious. Yeah, people eat dogs. Yeah, you're a freaking monster. Why not eat a dog? You can't ride a dog. Jesus wants to get under your sponsors. You can't ride a dog following L.O.B.'s philosophy. No, no, no, I'm not saying that that's...
It'll gross me out, but I don't think that we should put any sort of preference on one animal over the other. Will you eat horse meat, Mike? I would try it. If I was in Europe, you know, and we were walking through a market and they were offering it, I'd be like, oh, I got to try it, you know. Of course you do. Horse kebab. When in Rome. I can't, I can't. I can't do it. But then I can tell you this. There are countries that consume dog. I couldn't do that. No. Couldn't do it. No, I just, I wouldn't. I've heard enough about horse that it tastes good. No. Mikey. I've heard that. Man, what do you want from me? I've heard it. I want you not to eat horses. That's what I want. Stop eating horses. Stop eating horses. I hear that it pairs well with a... I mean, it just depends on what you put it with. Well, check this out, Woods. It don't matter. Even if you don't eat it, and even if we all don't eat it, it's not going to matter. You know why? Why? They're still going to do it because they're going to import it to Europe and Asia. So in other words, we'll... Export it. Yeah, export it. So we'll do it here, and then we'll send it there. Yeah.
So no matter what. Filthy Europeans and Asians. So giddy up. And maybe the reason that they did, look at Jay, that just tickled him. And maybe the reason that they're doing it is they think, oh, think about it. Isn't it very expensive? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a second here. I think I may have just thought about something. Jay is our producer, okay? And Jay is a big advocate of legalizing marijuana. Yes. Now, one of the reasons he says legalize marijuana is he goes, I say you legalize it because if you do, we'll make money off it. They're selling it anyway. There you go. It'll help our economy. Yeah. All right. If it's going to help our economy, why wouldn't we do it? Yeah. Well, the same people that want to legalize marijuana, you got to ask yourself, what if this helps our economy? There you go. Think of all the new slaughterhouses that will open all across America that will feature.
Horse? Horse. Well, by that rationale, you could say, hey, we should legalize prostitution, heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine. There's benefits. Well, you know me. Marijuana. Yeah. I'm not for any of it. Marijuana is not like cocaine. Except for horse. Well, no, I'm not. So that you could eat. I don't have a pro horse campaign. Why do you love eating horses? Yeah. I don't. Who decides? Like, what if someone was just like, hey, I just want to serve whale? I'll tell you why. Because there's probably been an influx for years of people saying, dude, in Europe, we're trying to sell here, and we can't sell to Idaho. Because you have laws against killing the horse. You know what else they do in Europe? What? They poop in holes. Okay? So they don't have real toilets over there. Woods. Dude, my friend that went to Czechoslovakia and was like, You know what you poop on? You poop on a board. They do that here, too, in places. In Kentucky. Are you sure they poop on a board? The majority of Europe has... Because I know that they know the poop in holds a bit, but I don't think... I'm telling you, when he went to Czechoslovakia, this kid's got money, and he went there, and they stayed in a hotel, and he goes, yeah, I had to poop on a board, you pull the string, and the board slides down into a hole. Let's see. M1 Neal wants to say happy birthday. Neal's from Oceanside. Go ahead, Neal. Hey, this is Neal Cabuto. I just wanted to...
Neil Cavuto. Neil Cavuto. That's genius. That's genius. Thank you, Mr. Cavuto. Thank you. Thank you. Gosh, L.O.B., your sphere of influence has really expanded. You're friends with Neil Cavuto. I know. It really is. Somebody. M1 Sally from San Diego. Hi. Hey, how are you guys doing? Good. Happy birthday, L.O.B. Thank you. Hey, I just wanted to comment on the whole horse meat thing. Mm-hmm. The ban was actually just put in place about four years ago, and slaughter was still legal back then. The problem has been happening, I think actually a lot of the whole thing with Congress passing it had something to do with USDA funding. I don't know the whole story on that. But anyways, kind of the other side of the whole thing, as a result of the ban, a lot of the horses... Are you jogging or running right now? Or walking very briskly? Where are you headed? I'm actually... I'm actually running around with my horse and trying to get chores done. Oh, wow. How about that? Breakfast. Oh, so they're still currently being exported to Canada and Mexico. The problem is we have no regulation on their treatment, number one, in the transport. And once they get there, so it's actually much more inhumane the way it's happening now than if they were to reinstate water here domestically. Wow. So it's been a huge controversy.
But, I mean, four years ago, there wasn't a horse meat in the grocery stores. It still won't happen. Most of the horses that are going to slaughter have had medications that make them unfit for human consumption. Yeah. So then it still got exported out, and that will happen again. Well, thank you. Hey, Sally, you've actually shed some light on it because we didn't know how it worked. We appreciate you sharing that with us. Don't eat horses. Don't eat horses. My wife. If you're going to eat meat, eat whatever meat you want. My wife, Jamie, raised horses her whole life. I bet she's weeping right now. She's had like nine horses. Had a pet cow. Yeah, I mean, people do have those animals as pets, you know? I mean. Walked into the barn. There it was, standing on its hind legs. I mean, aren't they chained? No, we got you. We got you. It just got a little creepy when you started to talk about all the different. My dad in there butchered it up real good. All right. No way. We got you. We got you. Oh, yeah. It was like it spun around. It was like, ee, ee, ee, ee. I was like, ah. I could hear her screaming. It was ridiculous. Did the lambs ever stop screaming? We had cow forever. Ew. We had like a deep freeze. There was so much meat, like big legs of meat. Yeah. The day before, it had been following me around the yard. Aw. It was about hay.
Of course not. It's not a cute animal. It is cute. Hey, when they start racing cows, this is thoroughbreds, all right? You can't be putting the preference on what makes them a good animal. I know. It makes me sad, though. They're so pretty. I get it. I'll tell you what's disgusting. How about this stupid church in Kentucky that say they're voting for banning interracial marriage? This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. They're banning members. Members. From joining that church if you are an interracial couple. That can't be right. Tiny church in rural Kentucky. And apparently they have voted to ban interracial couples from joining their congregation. And it's really pitted members against each other. And it's just the most backwards thing you can imagine. That is shocking. Hi, baby. Hi, baby. Did you put the cooler back in the shed, or where is it? I'm sitting on that cooler right now. What do you need it for? I don't want to go to church. You got to go down to the Baptist church? Yeah, and I need a sixth to go down there, but I want to keep it cold. Okay. Well, they do have them free biscuits.
Those ain't biscuits, baby. Those are cookies. They're free cookies, whatever. I don't care what they're doing down at that church as long as I still get the donuts after service. Hey, baby. Yeah, baby. Put that cigarette down. Those are mine. What? I took these from the baby. No, baby got her own cigarettes. Okay, she got the little pink ones. That's right. The one mama gave me. Can I have one of these? I'll show it to you. I mean them menthol cigarettes, you pervert. Darn, baby, you look good. I know. Where's your Confederate flag bikini? Out there drying on the line. With my britches? Yeah. My britches drying out there, too? Your britches, they're more yellow than I've ever seen. What have you been doing, baby? Eating spurgis. That makes sense. Where do you get that asparagus from? I stole it, baby. That's where we get our food. You know it. Ain't seen none. What the hell you got a bra on for, girl? Why? You ain't come to church with me. I almost said a word you ain't supposed to say on the radio. You must be talking about one of them words L-O-B says on the radio.
One of them words made Mikey fall down to the actual ground yesterday. I reckon it was. I reckon it was. Oh, my gosh. Watch your mouth. It's the stupidest story. Oh, my gosh. So ass backwards. People are weird. At least there's some people at the church that are up in arms about it. Well, the guy that spearheaded the whole deal was like, look. I'm not a racist. I've never been a racist. I've never said anything evil about another race. Doesn't that, in fact, make you a racist? What are you? Awful. It's awful. Ass clown. Oh, my gosh. So this is Bono on the Ellen DeGeneres show. Listen to this. You don't like hearing your own music. Is that true that I heard that you don't listen to yourself? You know, it's a funny thing. I do try to avoid it. If I hear our songs on the radio, I tend to turn them down. Not because I don't like them or believe in them. He's doing the Madonna bit trying to sound American. But actually, my voice annoys me. He actually sounds more American. The Madonna sounds American.
I always think I could have sang it better and I'm a sort of macho Irish guy. He's macho. You're so macho. It will forever be macho. From this point on. I think I sound like a girl. Well, you sound like a real pretty girl. I'll tell you that. You know what? I'm not annoyed by the... the sound of my voice, but I'll tell you what I am. I'm annoyed by the things that I say. I don't listen to our best of, and the reason that I don't listen to it is not, oh, I don't like the sound of my voice. I don't like the things I say. I listen back and I go, you're so stupid, Mike. I don't like the sound of my voice. Me neither. I hate it. You do? When I'm isolating clips and stuff, I'm like, stop being so nasal. Stop being from New Jersey. And I go, stop being so stupid. What's your problem? I hate the sound of my voice, whether it's recorded, whether it's... On the air, whatever. It's awful. Someone plays a voicemail that you left them in front of you. You're like, why would you do that? Why? Is it okay to pull the curtain back even though it's Ella B's birthday? Sure. She has these little marks on her fingers that I asked her about. I go, what is that? You see that? Like little scabs? Yeah. You know what that happened from? She does stuff in her sleep. What? Yep. You thrash.
Those are tiny pieces of wood. Of me? Hey, that's not cool. That's me? You are some kind of a sexual deviant. You're married. She got wood on her finger. Oh, my gosh, wood. You filthy drunkard. Yeah. I knew it. Splendid pieces of wood. That's badass. Oh, boy. What happened? I don't know. I've been doing really weird stuff. Like last week, I took a picture of myself, apparently. She's just making me want it. While I was sleeping. What? I don't know. I was going through my phone looking for a picture of something, and I was like, what's this? And it looks at first glance like just a dark screen. And then you look close. And it's you with a black guy. Yeah. On roofies. Man, black folks love me, and I love black folks because I'm black. She's like, where did this come from? Where did this come from? It's me shielding my eyes because I'm taking a picture of myself in my sleep. Lauren O'Brien? I know. Then I woke up the other morning and I was smacking spiders out of my face. And I freaked out and I was like, where are the spiders? Fake spiders. Maybe lay off the heroin. Hang on a second. Hang on. Now, the spiders and slapping the spiders away, I get it because you're having a dream. I've never in my life heard of taking a picture. Do you have it on your phone? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Did you post it last week? I did not post it. It's insane. You can see it. You can see my arm. You've seen it once? I saw it, yeah. Let me see. Yeah, it's insane. Well, that was a story we did a couple weeks ago. Oh, gosh, L.O.B., did you hear her? What'd she say? She's looking through her pictures, and she gets this. She starts blushing, first of all. And then she goes. Then you have to hold it at a certain light. Oh, my gosh. I know. Don't scroll right or left. Yeah, don't scroll. Let me. Oh, wow. That looks like paranormal activity. Absolutely. How uncomfortable does it make you guys when someone grabs your phone and starts? Yeah. Oh, L-O-B. That is so unusual. There's that, and then I woke up yesterday morning. It felt like somebody punched me in the face. I actually was like, I don't know if I can work today. My jaw was locked up, and it felt like somebody punched me in the face. I will. Okay. I will say this.
And this is a true story. I've never said this on the radio. When I was a kid, I did it one time. You punched yourself in the face? No, I didn't punch myself in the face. I hit myself, my eye socket on like... Oh, God. I know, dude. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. I was a kid, though. I was like 12. Were you sleepwalking? It's never happened since. Or did you just swing your own arm at your face? No, I woke up. I woke up. And when I woke up, the thing that woke me up was me hitting myself on the nightstand. Liberty, my daughter, does that all the time. She'll fall out of bed and she'll hurt herself or she'll go in there and she's ripping the shelf off of her wall. Her load at school is unbelievable, so she gets super stressed and that's how she... I wonder if this is what's happening. I have wood in my finger. Stop saying that. There's nothing around my... My bedpost is not made out of wood. Neither are my nightstands. One of my favorite names. Are you sleepwalking? I don't know. I'm wondering if I ran into the wall or like a door frame to get splinters in my finger. Okay. Do you take anything to sleep? No. Okay. Because I will do a freak out. I do about once a week. I do a freak out on my wife. What do you mean? A yelling, cursing rant. In your sleep? On like a half an Ambien. Because I'll take a half an Ambien sometimes if I really can't fall asleep. And I'll do the half Ambien curse.
Sleep freak out bit. And bad. And then that's nothing short of terrifying. Oh, yeah. And then the next day I will text her and I'll go, hi, babe. And she'll be like, hi. And I'll go, what's the matter? And she'll go, oh, you don't remember last night at 1.30 in the morning when you said this, this, this? I'm like, oh, my God. Wow. Oh, yeah. It's bad. That happened to my brother once before. He was scared of his wife. Yeah. And he was like, what are you doing? And freaking out. Oh, my gosh. It's me. It's me. My wife, Kim, does that all the time. She's actually tried to drag me out of the bed. And I'm just holding on to her because I know she's going to hurt herself. So I'm like, honey, please stop. Oh, my gosh. She's like screaming. She's like, I can't get you out of here. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. You need to lay down. I felt bad for farting. In my sleep. Now I don't. Now I don't think anything of it. Now I think, oh, well, I guess, you know, the picture, not so bad. Last week, I gave her, apparently, at 1.30 in the morning, the TV was still on. She was asleep. And the dogs were, like, doing something. And I gave her the, why don't you have a little respect bit. Oh, my gosh. Had no idea. In your sleep. In my sleep. Don't blame it on the pills. I'm telling you. I sat up and was like, turn the effing TV off once you have some.
Effing respect. Like, losing my mind. Is the TV on? Yeah. I'm a lunatic in my sleep and in my half sleep. I'm a lunatic. Well, here's my assessment of one of my best friends, Woods. That man lives in there. Oh, yeah, he's there. But he's real quiet. Yeah, he doesn't come out very often. No. Sometimes he does. That guy's, here's the deal. Here's the deal. Think of Woods' brain like an apartment building. Yes. Okay, there is a tenant. That lives there. Yes. That is messed up. Yeah. Don't go knocking on his door. Let me tell you about this guy, all right? This guy is a lunatic, all right? Now, everybody else that lives in the apartment complex, meaning 99% of the people that live in the apartment complex. Which is my brain. Are sweet. Yep. Kind. Considerate. Animal lovers. Thoughtful. Shirt off your back. Animal lovers. Shirt off your back. One of the funniest people you've ever met in your life. Extremely giving. Very kind. Will do anything for you. That weirdo that lives in 204. He's nude in a rocking chair. He's in a rocking chair. He's a drunk as well. He's a drunk. He's a drunk. He's a drunk. Dude. He's a binge drinker. The fact that he doesn't admit that he's a drunk in 204 while he's doing lines off a hooker's butt proves that he's a drunk. He sits there nude with a shotgun and a bottle of jacks. Just wait for somebody to knock on that door. He's constantly got a noose around his neck and walks around naked with a noose.
Looking out the blinds. Yeah, looking out the blinds. You coming here? Yeah, and every once in a while, you'll have enough. So you'll knock on 206. And a Rottweiler will go... Yes. And you will hear... Get back! Get back! Get back! Get back! Get back! You dumb piece of ass! The Rottweiler goes back, and he opens the door nude. He opens the door nude. He's got one black eye, a noose around his neck, a bottle of Jack. and an acoustic guitar in his hand. And he goes, what's up, dude? What's up, dude? What's up, dude? But for the most part, meaning 99% of the part, is the most loving individual you'll ever meet. But apparently, 206 comes out in the middle of the night. In the middle of the night. Holy cow. Poor Jamie, my wife. Oh, my gosh. All right. So. Next, we're going to do something called tattoos. The idea is you will call right now and you will give me a phone. And I will sing it as tattoos. Now, here is the thing, though. The phone number is 570-1949. And when you call...
You have to give me a song that is a big, giant, super hit. Because if it is an obscure song, then it is not fun. It has to be a song that everyone knows. The Mikey Show. Call him. 570-1949. Or text him. 949mikey at gmail.com. On FM 94.9. Only one day to go. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Presented by Coors Light. Tomorrow night on the University of San Diego campus. With my morning jacket. Featuring Door Cinema Club. Matt and Kim. Delta Spirit. And the Blackout Party. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours at tickets.com. The Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus. Or FM 949SD.com. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optic. Join us tomorrow night for an epic evening of music with FM 94.9.
It's Jerome's 57th anniversary. And to celebrate, I've designed an all-new anniversary mattress that's unbeatable with premium features like pocketed springs, perimeter foam encasement, luxurious four-way stretch fabric, and a comfortable European pillow top with layers of premium Ecoflex plush foam. And at my Jerry's price of $5.99, it's a value you won't find anywhere else. Imagine, a queen-size pocketed spring mattress for just $5.99. Buy it online right now at Jerome's.com. Ride style. It's about true friends and family coming together 19 years ago to create an iconic snow brand. Sure, the ride team has ridiculous. But along the way, they create some of the best gear on the mountain. At Sportchalet, we appreciate that dedication to fun and innovation. And that's why you'll find rides, snowboards, bindings, boots, and outerwear at Sportchalet. Stop by and let our experts show you what ride style is all about. This fall. Warren Miller's Like There's No Tomorrow will bring you on a global tour of the perfect winter. Adjust your gear, take a deep breath, and shred, launch, spin, charge, like there's no tomorrow. Join Warren Miller cinematographer Tom Day as he shoots his first 800-inch California winter and captures incredible powder turns laid down in Squaw Valley by Johnny Mosley, J.T. Holmes, Michelle Parker, and more. India, Chile, New Zealand, Norway, it's all here.
So get out there and buy tickets like there's no tomorrow because tickets are on sale now. Check warrenmiller.com for details. FM 94.9 welcomes Warren Miller's Like There's No Tomorrow to the San Diego area this week with screenings in La Jolla, Carlsbad, and Encinitas. Ticket holders get buy one, get one free lift ticket offers to Heavenly and Mountain High and $25 off at Sports Chalet. Get your tickets at ticketfly.com, select Sports Chalet stores, and at theater box offices. Check warrenmiller.com for more information. So I'm holiday shopping at Verizon and tell the sales girl they've made their list. I've checked it twice. I need three smartphones. And she says, try the 4G LTE Samsung Stratosphere. It's only $99.99 after $50 mail-in rebate debit card. So I say, 4G? Huh. But in my head, I'm thinking. Then I say, my kids go through lots of data. And she goes, right now, you can double their data for the same price when you get them a 4G LTE smartphone. And now. I'm old. Give the technology they love on the network they deserve. And for a limited time, double your data without paying a penny more when you buy a new 4G LTE smartphone. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash holiday or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Requires new two-year activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Double your data applies to new activations or upgrades and data packs two gigabytes or higher. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com. It's the Lexus how-to guide for giving a Lexus.
Step one, visit your Lexus dealer to find the perfect gift at the perfect price for the perfect person. Step two, buy a big red bow. Step three, hold your phone up to the radio and hit record now. There, you have everything. The Lexus, the bow, and the song. It's the Lexus December to Remember sales event going on now for a limited time. Lease the 2012 RX 350 for $4.39 a month for 36 months with $34.99 due at signing. And as a gift from Lexus, we'll make your first month's payment. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important lease offer details. Complimentary first month's payment is up to $700 through participating Lexus dealer and Lexus financial services. Not all customers will qualify. Excludes official fees, taxes, title, license, registration, and dealer charges offer valid in the Lexus western area only and ends January 3, 2012. Accident clearing up on Highway 78. This report...
brought to you by Jerome's Furniture. At Jerome's Furniture, Jerry's price means no gimmicks, just pure value every day. And with same-day delivery, you can purchase by 6 p.m., have it home tonight. 78 westbound, right about Broadway is where they're wrapping up a crash. Expect delays heading from there out toward the 15. Seeing some slow traffic on the 163 northbound, especially from the 8, headed up toward the 805. This report also brought to you by Navy Federal Credit Union. Member Mall is Navy Federal's exclusive. online shopping mall, where your rewards get mega-multiplied. Go to NavyFederal.org to get started. I'm Barbara Brooks, FM 94.9. Woodsy is sitting directly across from me. The haircut's tight, bro. Yeah, let's get there. It looks good right now. I like salvation. It's a perfect haircut. And today is Lauren's birthday. Amen. Ella B is 31 today. Jerry is our producer. He's 48. And screening phones for us is Nicole.
She's 19 years of age. Lucky. She was born in 1992. Shocking. Is that right? Is it 1992? 1992. I want to let you know that the word of the day is riot. And sometime between now and 10, I'll say riot. And Caller 9 will get Hootenanny tickets. Jenny Craig Pavilion, My Morning Jacket, Two Door Cinema Club, Matt and Kim, and Delta Spirit. If you want to go, you can go buy tickets at fm949sd.com. An M1 is a Mikey Show listener. It means you belong to this exclusive club that is very, very large. M1 Nation is what we're known as. Every once in a while on our Facebook page, we'll just put the words M1. And the proper response is all caps. Nation. M1 Nation is growing every day by the help of you and your friends. Spreading the word.
And making sure people know, The Mikey Show is only on FM 94.9. There are a lot of things happening out there. One thing that I think is good is that they're going to be sentencing this dirtbag lawyer that was involved in a baby-selling ring. And a former lawyer from Maryland has posted bail, or excuse me, has had to forfeit this $133,000 bail. And it looks like the sentencing is going to begin. Already been in jail for a year. And it's a woman, believe it or not. Preying on people, trying to adopt. Awful. Terrible. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I'm going to tell you about an arrest in the NFL. Weird in a second. But wanted to tell you that sports is brought to us today by our friends at Dave & Buster's.
Eat, drink, play football. Oakland Raiders linebacker Rolando McClain, who is a really good player, was arrested Wednesday night for a shooting-related incident in Decatur, Alabama. Apparently, McClain assaulted an individual, held a gun to his head, and fired a shot next to his ear. He is 22 years old. He is a linebacker for the Oakland Raiders and was their eighth overall pick in 2010. Oh, wow. Gun to the guy's head. Shot by his ear. He's toast, if this is true. Oh, my gosh. Also, if you missed the opening break today, you have not heard the bad news that Heath Bell, Padre's closer, is apparently on his way out of town to the Miami Marlins, where he will be their closer. He is the last of the Padre superstars, and he is gone. Sucks. The plan, the plan. Come on, boss. Let's do this, man. Let's see. I have a pair of tickets to the 2011 Holiday Bowl.
December 28th at Qualcomm Stadium. Pac-12 versus the Big 12. Who's on the phone right now? Hello? Hi. Hi, can you hear me? Yeah, M1 Jeff from Fallbrook. Hi, Jeff. What song do you want me to sing? Hot for teacher. I got this man. I got this man. I got this freaking man. I'm hot for teacher. There's a little girl in the schoolyard that makes me look so good. You win. That was easy. I'm one driver from Carlsbad. What song do you want me to sing on Tatoons? I want you to sing One More Try by George Michael. Why can't you give me just one more try?
This one, I had enough of danger. But now you're at my feet. I've got one for you, Tattoo. What is it? It's Ambrosia, How Much I Feel. That's how much I feel. Feel for you, baby. How much I feel. I feel for your love. Can I try one? Yes. Girls just want to have fun. And wake up in the middle of the night. My mother says, why are you going to treat your life right? Oh, daddy, don't you know you stole your fortune in fun? But girls, they want to have fun. Oh, my God. M1 Tandaya is on the phone. Hello, Tandaya. Hey, Charlie. How are you doing today? Pretty good, dude. Hey, can you sing California Love by Tupac? That's all I freaking know, man. But you win for Hang on the Line. Oh, my God. Hey, Tattoo. Yeah. How about Tracy Chapman?
How about we didn't start the fire? Because it didn't burn and it was always burning because we didn't start the fire. What about one of the verses? Marlon Manson Miller goes, I want to be on my show. You got me when I walk. Oh, my God. ACDC, Back in Black. Back in Black. I hit the track. I got a bunch of beats to get back, and I got to lose. I got a bunch of beats to make you so. Oh, what was that last part? I don't know. Bad, bad, you so? Oh, man. Get it beauty. Yeah, get it beauty. Get it beauty. That's right.
Hey, Gary Busey, let me ask you a question, man. Go ahead, Tate. How come you're so freaking weird? You're a French midget. Hey, listen. It's little people. You're a French door. All right, hang on. And you're going to talk about me? Let me ask you a question. Gary Busey. Can I come over to Hamlet tomorrow afternoon? What? Come to my omelet? No, you're Hamlet. You live in a hamlet, don't you? Sean, what the hell are you talking about? I thought you live in the hamlet and I come over and we make pancakes. I'm clueless. Here it is. It's a first ever edition of Tattoons. Wow. Freaking genius. Very nice. Very nice. Very nice. Let's see. What do we got? Very nice. Well, we can do our football picks. Oh, yeah. Let's get into it. I forgot to turn my football picks in yesterday. Didn't realize. Well, I did realize, but forgot there was a Thursday night game. And let's do this. Are you ready? I am ready. Tell everybody what happened again last night. Well, the Dream Team traveled to Seattle. The Dream Team could not get it done. Vince Young threw four.
One, two, three, four, four interceptions to the Seattle Seahawks. Seahawks win 31-14. I, of course, pick Philadelphia. Oakland Raiders going into Miami, and I believe... that Oakland will get the job done on the road. Yeah, they will be 8-4 after this weekend. Falcons are going to Houston, and Houston is a very good team, but their defense has been depleted, especially over the last few weeks. I got Atlanta winning that game on the road. I took Atlanta as well because not only is Matt Schaub out, but Matt Leiner is also out, so I don't know who's going to play quarterback for Houston. 6-5 Tennessee goes into the 5-6 Buffalo Bills, and the Buffalo Bills look like they found their mojo again. I'm going to go with Buffalo at home. Big win last week for them. I also took Buffalo. Kansas City, who is hapless, is heading into Chicago. Now, I thought about this game, Woods, and I thought that Jay Cutler has reunited things with Kristen Cavallari. Yes. He's getting married to Kristen Cavallari again. Yes. For the second time, he has announced that he is, in fact, going to marry her again. And I think that that works in his favor. The Chicago Bears win. In the bear den. He's hurt.
Oh, I forgot about that. So, Mike. I forgot about that. He is hurt. It is Caleb Haney who is the guy. But the good news for the Bears and Caleb Haney is that Tyler Palko is the starting quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs. The Bears roll. Jets go into Washington, and Jets win on the road. Yeah, I also have the Jets. Cincinnati's going into Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh too tough for Cincinnati. I think that Roethlisberger makes short work. of the Cincinnati Bengals. You know, Cincinnati has shown me a lot this year. They're 7-4. That's a pretty good football team, but I don't think they'll be able to match up against Pittsburgh either. Pittsburgh wins. Carolina in Tampa Bay. I'll take the Carolina Panthers on the road. Look at you. You and I have been voting for Tampa Bay every week. I'm going to stick to it. I think they have something there. Tampa Bay wins at home. I wonder who will win when the 0-11 Indianapolis Colts head into the 8-3 New England Patriots at home. And then Denver is playing. Do we even have to say with that game? Of course New England wins. I think it's probably both of our sure things for this week. Correct.
Denver is heading into Minnesota, and the Tebos will take care of the Vikings on the road. Tebow train keeps rolling. They're talking about that guy for all pro this year. Baltimore's tough defense goes to Cleveland and wins, I believe. Absolutely. Dallas goes to Arizona. Arizona home. You're a clown. Dallas wins. Green Bay goes to the Giants and loses their first game, in my opinion. Oh, my God. New York football giants will win at home against the Green Bay Packers. You're silly, Mike. Mark it down. I need to call your sponsor, my friend. Put it on the board, my friend. I mean, something's in your coffee, my friend. Green Bay wins. St. Louis goes to San Francisco. San Francisco is the real deal, man. They win at home. Oh, yeah, dude. They're beastly. San Diego, I believe. Well, take care of business in Jacksonville and get off the schneid. I sure hope so, man. They have to. They're going to be 5-7. They're going to beat Jacksonville. They better. And then finally, I believe that the New Orleans Saints will beat the Detroit Lions without Indomitian Sioux. 41-24 is my prediction. Oh, I had 35-14. There you go. There you go. Those are your pigskin pick'ems for this week. Let's see. 570-1949 is our phone number if you want to give us a call.
And don't forget, the word of the day is riot. The word of the day is riot, and when I say it, you've got to be caller number 9 at 570-1949 if you want to win tickets to our holiday hoot nanny. Hey, speaking of football, and speaking of the New England Patriots, not everybody is a fan of the New England Patriots. No, no, no. In fact, this little kid is not a very big fan. Take a listen. What? Why are you so mad at Tom Brady? Well, I think Tom Brady's an idiot, too. He might throw a pick. Why don't you like Tom Brady so much? Because he's mean? Don't get so upset. Go give him a punch.
Don't be so mad at Tom Brady. He's sucky. Do you think that'll be playback at that kid's wedding at some point? So genius. We all remember when John was a YouTube sensation. Yes. Before he was a serial killer. Holy cow. You ever train your kid to hate people? He doesn't really hate people. Doesn't he? He has a very strong dislike. Yeah. It's identical audio of me watching Yankees Red Sox last year talking about Dustin Pedroia. Probably true. Yes. Probably true. Well, apparently in northern India, there is... A lot of snakes, including some very poisonous cobras. And apparently there's an Indian snake charmer who released the cobras into a tax office because he was trying to protest. He didn't like what was going on and he wanted to protest. Because for whatever reason, there were things that were happening at the place that I don't like. So I put into your place the deal.
I will release the cobra. Look, I have a policy here. What is it? It's the customer comes first. Yeah, the customer's always right. Yeah, I can't have you... Safety first. Safety first. Well, I can't have you releasing cobras into our place of business here. Yeah, not only can you not tell me what to do, because nobody tells a kid what to do. That's right. But I have tried to reason with your secretary. Yes. I'm not a secretary. I'm an executive assistant. Well, whatever you are, sorry women live, whatever. And all you know is that I've been calling for the last week and she won't put me through to you. Listen, it's tax season. I'm... buried right now. I've got a ton of stuff. We all got the same story, pal. We all have the same story. You come in here with these freaking receipts that you've made up. What's her name? Her name is Bethany. Okay, Bethany doesn't let me go to you, okay? I call seven times on Tuesday. She says, oh, he's out to lunch. Oh, he's out to lunch. All the guy do is eat lunch. Look, dude. What do you do? Eat lunch all day? Hey, do you know how much money I got you back? Did the bicycle just... Yes.
It's my brother. He's slow. Yeah. He's not real bright. What's the deal with the snake charming thing? He put a bicycle bell. On the snake charming flute? That must be the bell for the secretary. Yeah, have you seen Of Mice and Men? He's like Lenny. Yeah, back to me. He's like Lenny. He's my brother. I let him work here. He does filing and stuff. Listen, you're not going to distract me, man. I still let the cobras go. Look, I got you back $1,400. No, you didn't. On your BS tax report. You got me back 1,400 rupees. That equals $16, all right? Rupees, it's in rupees. There's no way. You dumbass. There's no way you took 400 pounds of clothes to Goodwill last year. There's no way. But you know what? We made it work. Why is he wearing a bikini? I told you. He was dropping his head when he was young. That is a real instrument Jay made for us. I hate that bell. I hate it. It's the fringer. It's so irritating. Fringer. I'm learning to play this thing. He made a flute with a bell on it.
Oh, my God. It's a cloud. So loud. Wake up, San Diego. 570-1949 is our phone number. I went to a women's cosmetic store yesterday. Nice beaver. What were you picking up for your wife, Rebecca? We need to save that clip, by the way. All right, fine. I wasn't picking anything up. We've got yesterday's clip that says, today I need to go to. Oh. So, we're all good. Okay. And where did you go? I am not gay. I never have been gay. It's a place called Ulta. And I was not feeling well yesterday. It came off a little gay. And I needed to go and pick up a couple of items and be on my way. I just wanted to pick up the items and be on my way. And by be on my way, what I mean by that is I didn't want anyone to see me. And I don't mean that like...
I'm a person that is in the public limelight. What I mean by that is I'm a guy, and I just didn't want to be seen in a cosmetic store. You shouldn't have announced it on the air then. I know. You're right. But I wanted to go in and get out. That was all I wanted to do. I wanted to go in there and get out of there. Move on. Here's the things that I needed, all right? I needed something called Urban Decay Mattifier. I needed it because what it does is it takes the shine off of my bald dome. I've got a very shiny head and I'm self-conscious about the oily skin. And this mattifier makes it look like I don't have oily skin. So I needed to get it. So I go in and I make very short work of all of it. I grab it right away. I know exactly where it's located. Luckily it's...
Right near the entrance. So I grab it. And then I go. And I needed to get some moisturizer. All right? Woods is stifling a laugh. Stifling a laugh. A couple of friends of ours are in the studio. HB and Matt. HB is studying me. Like, you're interesting. Like, she's Freud and you're a serial killer. She's looking at me like, you are an interesting creature. One of the biggest benefits that men have is that their products are all... So much cheaper than ours. Yes, yes, yes. Well, and by the way, I want you to know that what I'm going to tell you is all true. Okay. Okay? It's all true. And if Cheyenne is listening, she can call and let you know that it's all true. Oh, boy. And I'll tell you exactly what that is. Only me. Oh, yeah. Only me.
Voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell him the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Shut up! More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. State of denial is a drag and a trial. When I bought my cheap insurance, should have known this day would come. Now I've had an accident and I'm feeling quite alone. Called them at least 20 times, but they won't pick up the phone. Without personal service, my policy's kind of worthless. Guess I should have stayed at State Farm. That's right. I didn't think, because they're probably all the same. I told myself, who needs top shelf? Now I'm questioning my mental health. Maybe they can take me back. I hope it's not too late. Couldn't get to a better state, state farm. But don't put yourself in a state you'll regret. Call 1-877-249-7993 today. For the holidays, you don't put out your everyday china. You take out the wedding china. And you prepare all your treasured holiday foods. Because the holidays are no time to compromise. Which is why on more and more tables across America, you'll find Boar's Head Sweet Slice Ham.
Sweet Slice has become a holiday tradition, because ordinary ham has no place at the holiday table, and there's simply no other holiday ham that offers anywhere near the quality and flavor of Sweet Slice. Sweet Slice is boar's head smoke, bone-in ham, without the bone. It's already cooked, so all you do is heat it up and carve. There's no trouble, there's no waste, just applause. From all of us at Boarshead to all of our friends across this wonderful country of ours, we wish you the happiest of holidays. Boarshead, compromise elsewhere. We may not be able to lower the cost of gas, but we can do something about how many miles you will drive per gallon. Stop by your local O'Reilly Auto Parts store today and let us help you increase the performance of your car or truck. Simple things like replacing your air filter. changing worn-out spark plugs, and using fuel injector cleaner can add up to better fuel economy and big savings. There's an O'Reilly Auto Parts store close to you that has the name brands, low prices, and people who can help. Restore lost fuel economy and eliminate rough idle with Lucas Fuel Injector Cleaner on sale for $4.99 at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Lucas Fuel Injector Cleaner quickly cleans clogged injectors to increase fuel efficiency and help your vehicle run smooth.
Lucas Fuel Injector Cleaner $4.99 at O'Reilly Auto Parts, the official auto parts store of NASCAR. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supply, see store for details. An AT&T phone or tablet is the perfect gift. And the AT&T holiday sale is the best time to get one. I mean, who doesn't like sending photos or downloading HD videos on the go? When you give someone a phone or tablet, they think, wow, this person really gets me. Suddenly, the two of you are bonded in a special warm way that will really come in handy when, say, you need someone to watch your cat, Mojo, or move a couch up a spiral staircase. Come to the AT&T Holiday Sale, and remember, you're not just getting a great deal on a phone or tablet, you're getting someone who will help repave your driveway. AT&T. Rethink Possible. Come in and save on the perfect gift from AT&T, like the Samsung Galaxy S2 4G smartphone, for free when you purchase the Samsung Galaxy Tab 8.9 for $479.99.
Limited 4G LTE availability in select markets. Samsung Galaxy Tab 8.9 requires a two-year agreement with minimum $35 monthly data plan. Samsung Galaxy S2 is free with a two-year voice agreement and minimum $15 monthly data plan. Other charges and restrictions apply. Visit att.com or store for details. Hi, I'm Annie, and I work at Guitar Center. Now's the time to get them a gift they won't forget. Because at Guitar Center, it's like Black Friday never ended. Guitar shoppers are really in luck. It's our annual guitar-a-thon, with the year's deepest discounts on top-name brands, including Gibson, Fender, Taylor, and Martin. Save up to 70% off list, but we've also got doorbuster deals in every department, like Harbinger PA Systems, just $149, and Remo Drumheads, 60% off list. The best price and advice at Guitar Center. Hi, this is Jack, founder of Jack in the Box. Let's take a call. Jack, I'm kind of seeing this guy, but he only calls me at like 2 a.m. and says, hey, come over, let's do something. Does he like seasoned curly fries? Yeah. That's a foodie call. Huh? A foodie call. You know, it's really late, you're craving something, so you and your friends hit up my drive-thru for tacos or real ice cream shakes. Ah, that's a relief. I thought it was like his booty call. His what? Booty call. Who needs boots at 2 a.m.?
For a limited time, enjoy financing as low as 0% for up to 24 months on most 2008 certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your San Diego County BMW centers today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash CPO for details. Innovative career choices are waiting for you at California College San Diego. Books and laptop included in your tuition. Call 1-800-390-6489 to start on your new career path today. A couple of problems on the five. This report brought to you by 99 cents only stores. It's time to mail your holiday greeting cards. 99 cents only stores makes it easy with a huge assortment of boxed holiday greeting cards for only 99.99 cents each. They made very quick work of a signal alert on the five southbound at Oceanside. That's where we had a car on fire. Fire crews had the right lane blocked for a time, long enough to slow things down, but it's open now. And now a new problem. Five southbound right at the eight is where we've got a crash. Looks like the two left lanes may be blocked. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Mini dealer. Visit miniofsdcounty.com to schedule a test drive for the new two-seat Mini Coupe with a speed-activated rear spoiler and six-speed transmission. The new Mini Coupe. Hold on. I'm Barbara Brooks, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird's Surf Shed.
with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf, 440 Friday morning, brought to you by Bird Surf Shed, of course. Christmas is coming up. Great selection of surfboards and other valuable goodies to be had at the shed, so stop by and pick some up. Surf-wise today, we're looking pretty fun out there. It's at the west-northwesterly windswell has tapered out some, but at the same time, some favorable winds out of the east-northeast have groomed it quite a bit, so it's looking much better than it has been. Surf-wise, running in that chest shoulder-high zone for the most part. spot, seeing a few larger setways at the right times and tides. Speaking of which, tides are fairly low this morning, moderate highs mid-morning. That'll help out some areas in terms of size and shape. Beach is a bit walled up. The structured area is looking better. Reef breaks have some pop-up peaks as well, so it looks like it's going to be a solid day for a surf. If you've got an opportunity to do so, the rest of us have to sing happy birthday to certain people that we know and love. The authentic surfboard can only be heard three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Yeah, this is the light. Mikey. Oh. All right. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I love watching human beings in their natural habitat. Woods. I have a fear of dentists. A fear. Like when I go to the dentist, it's palpable. Lauren. I'm more apt to listen to a specialist than a general practitioner. And Jay. You guys don't make homemade ice cream? Say what? On FM 94.9.
When we last left you, I was telling you a story about how... And yeah, yeah, I'll tell you. It's embarrassing for me that when I go to these stores, it's embarrassing that I'm going to go into this cosmetic store and I'm going to get this product that will make my head less shiny. But it's called Mattifier. Woods, did you introduce me to it? I did. You did? John Varvatos. Yeah, John Varvatos. Mattifier. It's brilliant. Yeah. So this is a woman's store. I get mine online. This is a woman's store. Yeah. And I went in there and I wanted to get in there and get out of there. And I got that. Got the moisturizer, you know, for the arms. I got to have. You use moisturizer, Woods? Sure. I mean, I use lotion. That's what it is. Yeah, get it at Walgreens.
The one I like smells like cologne. And so I went in there and I got it. I may have taken some of those paper things and sprayed cologne on it and wafted it and then see what it smells like. And then I just, okay, so then I was going to leave. So I'm leaving, okay? I'm leaving. And I walk very fast with my head down when I'm in there and I'm going to the cashier. And I look over and there is Cheyenne, somebody that I know. I know her. And I instantly thought in my head, oh, great. I know. Now Cheyenne knows that I'm in Ulta. And so I walk up and she looks at me and I go, hey, Cheyenne. And she goes, I was wondering if you would remember me. Because she used to go to the church I used to go to. Yeah, yeah. She goes, oh, how you doing? Good, good. How's the wife? Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good.
The kids, good, good, good. Everything's good. Everything's good. Ring this up. And she rings it up and she says, hey, you get a woman's robe with your purchase. Wow. Would you like pink or white? And I said, I guess just, I guess white, you know. How's it fit? It's not for me. It was for Rebecca. They didn't have XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Oh, no. She had to go to the back. It's in the back. She had to go get it in the back. Did you reach a certain number of rewards points? Yeah. How you got this rope? Your punch card was full. Yeah. Because I belong to the rewards bar. Well, L.A.B., if I get three more sandwiches at Subway, I get a free sandwich. Right. One more visit. Badass. He's so cruel. He's so cruel. I got me, dude. I got me. Oh, my gosh. I'll give you that one.
I am not kidding you. She's back there forever. She's back there forever. How long? Ten? Real minutes? Real minutes. Six. Now, I know that doesn't... Oh, no, man. We've got a preferred customer out here. Preferred customer, Mike Esparza. He's the only male in the store right now. You'll notice him. His head just shining. It's the guy with the tattoos. He's the shiny Mexican with the tattoos. Don't worry, though. He bought mattifiers, so he's going to knock that out. We won't take care of it. Oh, my gosh. Why didn't you bail? Why didn't you bail? Who cares about the rope? Bail. Dude. That's awkward. Yeah, you've got to wait for it. I'm buying stuff. You already bought it. No. She's ringing me up, though. He's waiting to pay. You haven't paid? No. I'm not leaving. I need my stuff. No, dude, I get it. I was going to say, if you had already paid and she's back there getting the robe, I would have left. Gone. Would have been gone. Would have been long gone. That would have been stranger. The next time you went in there, she'd have been like, you just left? Yeah. I got an important phone call I had to bail. Don't worry about it. So she comes back and she says, are you a part of our rewards program? And I said, no, I'm not. And she goes, maybe Rebecca is.
And I said, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And she goes, well, what's your phone number? Oh, my God. So I give her our phone number. She types it in. She goes, no, that's not it. What about her cell? Try another one. Yep. So I give her the cell. She types that in. She goes, no, that's not it either. No, I guess it's not in here. She rings me up. I go, thank you very much. She goes, oh, by the way, don't worry. The alarm thing goes off. with what you're getting, but don't worry about it. I'll reset it. So here I am, an overweight Mexican with a bald head inside of a woman's cosmetic store. Shiny bald head. Shiny bald head. In a woman's cosmetic store with a pink bag that says Ulta on it. And I just want to make a break for it. I just want to make a break for it. In 12 seconds, I'll be out and she informs me the alarm is going to go off.
When you leave. Every head will turn. Every head will go. So now, so now, let me get this straight. So now, I'm not just a short, bald, overweight Mexican. I'm a short, bald, overweight, thief Mexican. And everyone would just assume you do it. Yeah. You did it when you worked at you. Tattoo sleeve, you know? Like, you're dead, right? The back of a police car with your head all shiny. Where's the woman that he knocked over? Yeah. Yeah. So... We got a Mexican stealing wit lady supplies here and a robe. There's a white robe missing. Look at his tattoos. He did it. He did it. Dead. So, I'm walking to that door and I feel like my heart is going as I'm walking to the door. Hot. I'm hot. I'm flushed. And I'm putting my hand out to put my hand on the door, and I know, well, in just seconds, everyone in this store will be looking at me. And I put my hand on the door, and the alarm doesn't go off. And I'm like, and she goes, Mikey, it didn't go off. Oh, my God. It's not the first time you heard that one, huh? I was going to say it. I was just kidding. I want to save you the embarrassment.
It all's well that ends well, I guess. That's right. Yo, Chris. Did you bolt to your car? I would have peeled out in the parking lot. Dude, and you know what I was thinking in my head? Honestly, I heard my own voice, and I heard the reverberating voice of M1 Nation going, you know who that doesn't happen? Yes. I get to hear it. So I guess now you'll just switch to like regular Jergens and maybe some baby powder for the shine. No. Talc. No. Maybe I'll give you a percentage L.O.B. to do it for me or Rebecca. Just have Rebecca do that. Take care of that for me. Join the rewards program. It's a good payoff. I should just get over it. You know, I'm married. What do I care? What do I care, man? No, not be a man. You should just be able to go in there and buy it if you want. Give me a break with the be a man, dude. I don't want my head to shine. Is that such a crime? You got one lotion to take the shine off. You got another lotion to put the shine on. So you're drying. It's a good point. Good gracious, man. Gosh, he just made my hand sweat. He just made my hand sweat. Maybe you send your wife to do that bidding.
She does so much. That's why. She's got to go. She doesn't have enough on her plate. She's got three kids. She doesn't have time to go. She's got four kids with me. Yeah, four kids with you. Counting me. She doesn't have time to go. Now I'm going to be like, hey, can you go to the lady's store and get me some, you know. Tampons and stuff. Maxi pads. Maxi pads. Yeah, Mike. Did you go to the store to get yourself some maxi pads? I heard those are good for the shine. Hey, Mike, this is James Spader. Yeah. I was wondering if that moisturizer was next to the tampons. Yeah. Okay, Mike. You're filthy. Hi, Mike. James Spader here. Hey, how are you? When you were in there, did you happen to browse the extra large blouses as well? Hey, Mike, were there any douches that were next? There was this one guy. His name was Tom. No, I'm talking about Summer's Eve. Was there any Summer's Eve? Did you get some hygiene spray while you were there, okay? Maybe some New Beginnings or something. Yeah, New Beginnings. You're familiar with all the name brands. You know, I mean, don't bother me with all the name brands. I know you know better than I would. How do you know? Don't get the OB tampons. Those will give you toxic shock, Mike. Oh, wow. P-S-S-S. You guys know a lot. Yeah. I made mine up. Did you? Yes.
You're something else, Pally. Oh, it hurts. You are something else, buddy. Yeah, only me. Well, I do have a person on the line that wants to say happy birthday to our girl, Lauren. It's M1 Nurse and Training in San Diego. Hi. Hi, you guys. Hello. Yeah, so I wanted to call and say happy birthday to my girl, L-O-B. Thank you. Yeah. You guys should kiss. Oh, wow. Always. She's a nurse in training. She taught me some CPR. And there's no naughty in front of that nurse. Oh, stop it. And I also wanted to thank you guys for making pretty much every morning of my life entertaining. Oh, thank you. And also for, I don't know if you guys remember, the little kind of a present that you guys helped me out with to give to my boyfriend. So I wanted to thank you guys for that, too, because I gave it to him last night. What was it? We just signed some stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We know who we are. Okay, that's awesome. That's great. Yeah, we signed some stuff for your boyfriend. Did he love it? Oh, he loved it. Excellent. We need to know because it makes us feel good. Yes, we have to know. It makes us feel insecure. Yeah, it's on the dartboard now. It's a great centerpiece. They put it at the bottom of his toilet. Yeah, he's really enjoying it. Yeah, it's a target. It's a bomb launcher.
He wants to get a frame and put it up on the wall. That's great. Nice. That's great. Well, thank you, Nurse in Training, for wishing our girl a happy birthday. Yeah, thank you. Happy birthday. We appreciate it. Thank you, darling. By the way, L.O.B. is a stand-up comic who tonight will be appearing in Los Angeles, California. Wow! Easy, Bill Hicks. The improv in Hollywood tonight. So rad. How about that? It's right on Sunset, isn't it? No, it is Melrose. Melrose. Gosh, darn, dude. Oh, that's awesome, L.O.B. Big time. That is so huge. Very cool. Congratulations and break a leg. It's a nice birthday thing for me. Yeah, I know. It is very nice, twofold. Hey, I got something else that will make you feel good. This is an interesting story. So there's a guy named Julio Diaz in New York City, 31 years old. He has an hour-long subway commute. He goes to the Bronx. He decides he's going to get off one stop early, though, because he's got this diner that he really likes. It's a stop early. So he gets off, and you're going to want some Christmas music for this because the story gets a lot better. By the way, I want to thank the folks over at NPR for this story. This came from NPR. Guy takes the number six train. He gets off, and the platform is pretty much...
Empty. There's nobody there. And he's going for the stairs and there's a teenage kid jumps out. Now, you know, oftentimes in New York, crime can be a problem. This teenage kid has a knife, pulls a knife on him and wants his money. So the guy doesn't want any trouble. This guy, Julio Diaz, doesn't want any trouble. So he gives him his wallet and he says, yeah, no problem, man. Here's my wallet. Take it. Teenager grabs it. And starts to walk away real fast. And Julio says, hey, hang on a second. He turns around. He says, you forgot something. If you're going to rob people the rest of the night, might as well take my coat, keep you warm. So this kid says, what's going on? What are you doing? Why are you doing that? He says, well, if you're willing to risk your freedom for a couple of bucks, you probably need it more than I do. He said, by the way.
All I was going to do with the money anyway is get dinner. So if you want to, you can come with me. Him and this kid go to his favorite diner. They sit there at a booth. Manager comes by. Dishwashers come by. Waiters come by. They all say hi to Julio. Because they know him. It's his favorite place. And the kid says, you own this place? Why does everybody know you? He says, no, I just eat here a lot. They know me because I eat here a lot. Nice to the dishwasher? Teenager says, nice to the dishwasher? He says, yeah. And anybody taught you to be nice to everybody? Kid says, yeah. It's not usually the way people act. He says, well, that's the way we should act. He says, Julio's telling the story of the news, you know, and he says when he said that, it was almost like the kid had a sad face when he said that. So they sat there together. They had a meal at this diner. Middle of the Bronx.
This just happened. Bill comes and Julio says, look, I guess you're going to have to pay because you got my money. He says, but if you want to, give me my wallet back. I'll treat you. Kid didn't even think about it. He gave him the wallet back and Julio reached in there, gave him a $20 bill, figured maybe it would help him out. He says, I'm going to give you this 20 bucks, but I want to buy that knife. Not even thinking, man. Just gave him the knife. Gave back to him. This guy, Julio Diaz, his mom was interviewed for this story that I'm telling you about. And she said that he was the type of kid that if somebody asked him for the time, he would give them their watch. He would give them his own watch. The kind of guy he was. Here's his quote. I figure if you treat people right, you can only hope they treat you right. It's about as simple as it gets in this complicated world.
Cool Christmas story, man. That's a cool Christmas story. And the coolest thing about it is it's true. That really, really happened. And I'll tell you what, man. At this time of year, that is the perfect kind of story that we need. Because all of the news around us has been pretty crappy. Pretty nice to have a cool story like that. And hats off to that dude. Hats off to that guy. Because he certainly, he didn't have to do that, man. He could have... Who knows? Could have fought with a kid and I gave him his wallet. Absolutely. Absolutely could have. And I just thought that was so cool that he did that and helped that kid out. He's going to be one of the most eligible bachelors in New York. I think, yeah. Yeah, he's not a bad looking guy either. On NPR, there was a picture of the guy. Wasn't a bad looking guy. Let's see. The National Christmas Tree has been lit up. Barack Obama.
Has lit up the Christmas tree. You know, they do this. It's a big ceremony. 26-foot Colorado blue spruce. How about that? Beautiful. Beautiful tree. And, you know, it's that time of year. And at this time of year, of course, people are going into the stores and getting all their favorite stuff that you like to eat at this time of year. You know, we were talking about it yesterday. All the stuff that's very popular this time of year. We're going to go to aisle seven now over at Vaughn's and talk to Fruitcake. Are you there, Fruitcake? It is the season to be jolly. Hi, Fruitcake. How are you? How are you doing? I'm fabulous. So Fruitcake is a Fruitcake over at aisle seven here at the Vaughn's. I'm a real Fruitcake. You're a real Fruitcake. And, you know, the only thing about you is that we read yesterday you are very, very... I prefer naughty, Michael, is the word that I would use. I don't know if you know, but I just returned from a six-month sojourn. And I don't think there'd be too many people there that said I was fattening or bad for them.
Is that right? You can read between the lines on that all year. Wow. Yeah. But it's good to be back in America's finest city. Fruitcake, do you think that you will fare any better this year, maybe get sold? You know, I've kind of resigned myself to the fact that I may be past my prime, but I'm still delicious. You put me in your mouth, you are going to like it. Okay, that's very nutty. Fruitcake, isn't it? Nutty. I've missed you guys. Lauren, happy birthday to you, you little minx. Thank you. Hey, you know, maybe you could hook up with L.O.B. You know, she's not married. I don't think so. What do you mean? Why? I love. That's not really my type. I don't like funny girls. I like quiet people. Is that right? She's a little boisterous. I'm very quiet, actually. I don't like blondes. Well, you know what? I'm thinking about dyeing my hair. I like giant breasts. I'm also thinking about a breast augmentation surgery. She's thinking about getting the boob jobs. I like black women.
There, we might have a problem. I guess that is the deal breaker. If anybody would like to purchase me for Christmas or New Year's, I am here. I am in Vaughn's in Mission Valley. I'm on aisle seven. There you go. Blue cam. It's a little dusty. Yes, it is. But dust me off, cut me up, put me in your mouth and feed. Okay, well, thank you very much for taking me. Oh, for taking me. There he is. And when you walk down the street. You love to bust him out every Christmas. Christmas season and just see what he's up to. He's a nice guy. Love him. Yes, he is. Silly. I love Ricky. I'm sorry, what? He's a good kid. Oh, well. What a fabulous idea! It is time for me to do my fatherly Christmas stuff. That means, I said it last year, I got to make sure that my kids grow up remembering Christmas. So I'm going to get some apple cider, pour it into a big pot, put some cinnamon in it, and let it simmer. Mulling spices. Mulling spices. And Rebecca is busy putting up the stuff.
And so you're boiling up a little apple cider. She's putting up all the stuff. I knew it. I'm doing all the shopping. That's really backwards, Mike. I can't do anything. I can't do anything. Yeah, you can't do anything. And your kids are little, so they'll actually more appreciate the decorations and stuff. Maybe. The apple cider. It's probably actually a little strong for them. Why don't you lend a hand? That's what Jay said. Listen, it's just little things, Jay. It's just a reef, you know, and stuff like that. It's not that big a deal, you know? The tree? It's a lot of work. What? Who does the tree? Oh, look at that. Oh, boy. Who carried the tree in? I'm the same person that does it in your house, Woods. We don't do a tree. Oh, that's sad. Yeah, we don't have any reason to. I have a tree. It's just the two of us. I'm single, in fact. We don't have any kids or anything. I don't have kids. I don't have a husband. I carried the tree in. Put it in the stand. So we don't have one. We don't have any kids or a family. Yeah, but I don't have a husband or any kids, and I still do a treat. Oh, there you go. There you go. There you go. It's just a season, I guess. Yeah, I guess so. When we come back, I'm going to tell you the eight most germ-filled spots. The mall.
Mikey Show. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text them. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Stay to go. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Presented by Coors Light. Tomorrow night on the University of San Diego campus with My Morning Jacket. The featuring Door Cinema Club. Matt and Kim. Delta Spirit, and the Blackout Party. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus, or FM949SD.com. The FM949 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by SpyOptic. Join us tomorrow night for an epic evening of music with FM949.
Channel 4 San Diego, your home for Aztecs football. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle Fresno State, 5 p.m. Saturday on Channel 4 San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino Post Game Show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego. Okay, what do you say we break for lunch? That sounds good. What do you want? I'll go pick it up. Uh, I don't care. I got, like, three bucks. Hey, how about a W? The new double cheeseburger from Wendy's. Uh, yeah, sure, whatever. What? If that's your attitude, you're not getting a W. Wait, what's your problem? No problem. But if you're happy just throwing anything down your throat, the W is too good for you. If you say so. Look, can you appreciate that Wendy's makes your W so it's hot and juicy? Well, I... Oh, so you don't like signature sauce, awesome toppings, and a butter-toasted bun. Oh, yeah, maybe. See there? Maybe. Maybe? I don't even know you anymore. The new W Double Cheeseburger from Wendy's. Double beef, double cheese, and what's doubly amazing? Right now, it's just $2.99. Try one today at Participating Wendy's.
Buy a Wendy's W Combo, register online, and double your chances to win Southwest Airlines tickets for two and much more. Two's the reason to be jolly. No purchase necessary. Ends January 6, 2012. Open to U.S. Citizens 18 and over. Void or prohibited. Visit twosthereason.com for full rules and free method of entry. Mama Dietz here, chairman of Dietz & Watson. It's the holidays. Things can get stressful, especially when you're a host. Well, guess what? You can relax. That's right. Relax, it's the holidays. Because Dietz & Watson has been preparing your holiday party since 1939. Four generations, 72 years, working on your 2011 holiday party. Our party trays and holiday hams don't have artificial flavor. They don't have additives. Those things weren't around in 1939. And at Dietz & Watson, they still aren't. So relax. Unless your holiday ham or party tray isn't from Dietz & Watson. In that case, start freaking out, hon. Insist on Dietz & Watson at your favorite market and deli. And happy hosting days to you and yours. Now you could wait. And wait. And wait a little longer.
But why? It's time to grab your Christmas gift-giving list and head to Sportchalet. Our gift-giving experts are standing by to help you find something for everyone on that list. In fact, you can go to sportchalet.com and check out our holiday gift center. It's a great way to find awesome gift ideas. So why wait? Tis the season to get to Sportchalet. Saturday, December 10th, Jobs for Autism. We'll be presenting a benefit concert to give voice to autism in the workplace. If you like Jimmy and you like Willie, you're going to love Lucas Nelson and Promise of the Real. Come see the next legend of rock and roll. Saturday, December 10th at the North Park Theater on University Avenue. Tickets available online at jobsforautism.com. That's jobsforautism.com. So I'm holiday shopping at Verizon and tell the sales girl they've made their list. I've checked it twice. I need three smartphones. And she says, try the 4G LTE Samsung Stratosphere. It's only $99.99 after $50 mail-in rebate debit card. So I say, 4G? Huh. But in my head, I'm thinking. Then I say, my kids go through lots of data. And she goes, right now, you can double their data for the same price when you get them a 4G LTE smartphone. And now, I'm all.
Give the technology they love on the network they deserve. And for a limited time, double your data without paying a penny more when you buy a new 4G LTE smartphone. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash holiday, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon requires new two-year activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Double your data applies to new activations or upgrades, and data packs two gigabytes or higher. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com. This fall, Warren Miller's Like There's No Tomorrow will bring you on a global tour of the perfect winter. Adjust your gear, take a deep breath, and shred, launch, spin, charge like there's no tomorrow. Join Warren Miller cinematographer Tom Day as he shoots his first 800-inch California winter and captures incredible powder turns laid down in Squaw Valley by Johnny Mosley, J.T. Holmes, Michelle Parker, and more. India, Chile, New Zealand. Norway, it's all here. So get out there and buy tickets like there's no tomorrow because tickets are on sale now. Check warrenmiller.com for details.
FM 94.9 welcomes Warren Miller's Like There's No Tomorrow to the San Diego area this week with screenings in La Jolla, Carlsbad, and Encinitas. Ticket holders get buy one, get one free lift ticket offers to Heavenly and Mountain High and $25 off at Sports Chalet. Get your tickets at ticketfly.com, select Sports Chalet stores, and at theater box offices. Check warrenmiller.com for more information. Sigler came and went on the five. This report brought to you by Jiffy Lube. Hurry in before year end and save $25 on any oil change, tire rotation, and wiper blades. Plus save up to $20 on your second oil change with mail-in offer when you upgrade to Pennzoil synthetic motor oil. Jiffy Lube. Keep my ride alive. Participating Jiffy Lube stores only. Well, you're going to find they made quick work of that crash on the five southbound past the eight. Two left lanes reopened. Now Sigler canceled and traffic getting back to normal through the area. Still seeing a lot of heavy traffic right now on the 805 northbound. I'm seeing it starts to slow at Kearney Villa and stays tough to Highway 52. This report also brought to you by Cox Business. Cox Knows Business. Cox Business, providing solutions for all your business communications needs, supported by a local team. Cox Knows Business. Visit online at coxbusiness.com. I'm Barbara Brooks, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I get along better.
with women than I do with men. Lauren. And I'm a klutz and an idiot. Woods. I remember my first French kiss. And Jay. I'm so tired. On FM 94.9. It's the Mikey Show with a live studio audience. Yeah. We have a very big audience this morning and it is L.O.B.'s birthday. It's a cool day. Tomorrow is my wife's birthday. And today is my new niece, Nora Grace's birthday. She was born today. That is awesome. That's so cool. That's cool. And M1Site.com brought in some stuff. Are you guys here? Who is representing for M1Site? Come on over, Tim. And pull the microphone up. Have a seat and pull the mic up. M1Site is so cool, man. They come in on birthdays and they are the best. And if you don't know what an M1 is, an M1 is somebody that turns the radio down, gets the point, doesn't cuss, and is always creating.
More M1s. M1 Nation growing by leaps and bounds every single day. As a matter of fact, right now, 15,886 fans on our Facebook fan page. Thank you. Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. If you want to know how do you become an M1, first step, go there and click like. on that button and also like the FM949 site and also like m1site.com. And like us and love us. Please. We need the validation. It feels really good. So, Timmy, what did you bring? We just brought Lauren some gifts. I think there's an iTunes card in there. Yeah, so far I've seen an iTunes card. Very nice. I don't know what she opened yet. An Eagles beer mug and I think there's a shot glass in there. There's an Eagles beer mug and shot glasses. That. is awesome thank you that is awesome uh let's see and thank you m1 site a lot of people here from m1 site today and uh it's really cool um let's see we got m1 max from san diego on the line you there yeah hey what's up guys hey what's going on hey mikey um nothing man i'm just driving to work i just wanted to uh give you props on that christmas story man it's a real uh
Be Different story, and I really liked it. It is a Be Different story. Be Different started because my son is autistic. My oldest son, Jake, is autistic. I started to think about his future and what it would look like. Everybody here on the Mikey Show loves him so much. And Woods has said before, man, anybody ever crosses that kid, I'll kill him. There's no question. And I'll bury the body. That's right. She is from New Jersey, so she knows where to put him. She knows where to put him. And so it got us all kind of thinking. And I just thought it would be a good thing to raise awareness about bullying and about just being kinder to people. And the way that it starts is just one person at a time. The way that you do it is through this movement. That's one of the ways that we can do it. And so I started this thing called Be Different. And if you go to BeDifferentPact.org, you can get in on this thing. And it's really cool. Heath Bell, who's been in the news today, he's one of the Be Different guys.
Ryan Matthews. Ryan Matthews from the San Diego Chargers is one of them. John Foreman from Switchfoot is one of them. Head from Korn. That's right. And so we got a few people that are part of this thing, and you are too. So go to bedifferentpack.org. And the bracelet is just a reminder. Like, oh, yeah, maybe I'm cool in this moment instead of getting pissed, which is what I want to do. And it's kind of a cool thing. We got M1 Cheyenne. Is on the line. Oh, wow. Hi. Hello. How are you? How are you? So Cheyenne is a girl that works at Ulta. She's a friend of mine. She was kind enough to endure my embarrassing moment with me yesterday. And I'm sure that was a lot of fun for you, Cheyenne. May we interview her? Yes, absolutely. Cheyenne, this is Woods. I have a couple of questions for you. Okay. About how many times a week do you see our friend Mike in there? All the time. All the time. Now, he has a running tab there, and you just put it on his tab, and you send him his bill at the end of the month, right? You have his credit card on file. Really? Yeah. Do you call him when special stuff comes in that he might want to try? He's a jerk. All the time. All the time? Yep. Does he have to order in bulk? You monster.
You monster, Jay. Did he ask for one of those robes for himself? It would look good on you. Stripes. You should have got the striped because it's slimming. Let me tell you how embarrassing. It was so embarrassing because, hey, Cheyenne, turn your radio down. It was so embarrassing because she goes, you know, you get to pick between striped, white, or pink. And I'm like, I don't know. And she goes, go take a look at him over on the rack. Oh, God. Oh, God. Take a look. I'm like, oh, my gosh. I just want to make my head not shine. You know what I mean? Anyway, you're great, Cheyenne. We appreciate it. Thank you. Sorry. Valued customer you are. Yes. Very, very valued. VIP. VIP. Oh, yeah.
Sorry, a riot over there yesterday. Very important P word. Exactly. I was going to say, we leave the last P up for interpretation. Ouch. I'm like OPP. Right. Okay, so since we're talking about embarrassing things. Oh boy. It's open season. Gosh darn you. Yes. I know, why do I feel heat? It's open season. Now, many new listeners of the Mikey Show may wonder, what does that mean? What does it mean that it's open season? Well, you see, just like every season, like deer season, you can only hunt deer a certain time of year. You can only go after dove a certain time of year. The Monday after Thanksgiving is open season on all of us here on the Mikey Show. We all have things that embarrass us quite a bit. Believe it or not, the Ulta story doesn't even begin to touch. My embarrassing story. Fact. But Woods' embarrassing story, it's one of my faves. You see, Woods is a 36-year-old adult, good-looking guy. He's married, happily married. Happily married. Very happily married. Extremely.
Wow, he is really making a point to point that out. You're being quite defensive already. No, I'm not defensive. I adore my wife. I know, but it's almost as if you're really making a point to drive that home. Every day is better than the day before. Yeah, we don't doubt it. No, we wouldn't doubt it for a second. Now, we sent Woods, who is new to radio, by the way. See, Woods had never worked as an on-air talent before coming to the Mikey Show. He'd been in sales. And so I thought, well, why don't we send him out for his first assignment? And his first assignment was to go out and ask people, what do you want for Christmas? Very easy assignment. Yeah, not hard. And as per usual, he would give me the audio. I'd take a listen to it, pick the ones that I like the most, and then put them on the air. Now, I was going through and I was hearing him interview these guys. And Woods would go, hey, man, how you doing? Now, as you can see, Wood's got a dip of snuff in right now. He's a guy's guy. He's always a guy's guy. And he would say, hey, dude, how you doing? Hey, can I ask you? Yeah, normal. Hey, let me ask a couple questions. Hey, what do you want for Christmas? That kind of deal. Right. But when he would talk to young ladies, his voice would change a bit. Something was different. Few boyfriends for Christmas. Okay, hey, what's your name? Taylor. Taylor. One of my favorite names.
What do you want for Christmas this year? Oh, wait. What? What do you want for Christmas this year? Like, do you have a boyfriend? Not do you have a boyfriend. Oh, my God. Like, do you have a boyfriend? He had his bubble yum. Yeah. Just twirled around his finger. I do the same. Yes. You get licensed because it's your birthday. Gosh darn it. I have a few. You have a few boyfriends. You have a few boyfriends. You have a few boyfriends. I love you so much. I'm seeing stars. And the tone when you say, you have a few boyfriends, it says, you naughty girl. You're so naughty. You have a few boyfriends? You're so naughty. A few boyfriends. What are you going to ask your few boyfriends for? Oh, emphasis on you. You want a new to go with your few? Yeah. Well, the one in Australia, I want a kangaroo.
He thinks I'm joking. But you really want a kangaroo. A kangaroo. A kangaroo. I want a kangaroo. OMG. A kangaroo? What? A baby kangaroo? Like a baby kangaroo? So cute. A dog kangaroo? Oh my gosh. I know an exotic animal exporter. I have to go to the bathroom. Okay. What about from your American boyfriend? Do you have one? Do you need one? Are you in the microphone? In the microphone? Are you taking applications for a while? I want a shopping spree. A whole spree. God bless. I hate that line so much. I hate it so hard. It's the most perverted line. A whole spree. It's the line that drips with sex. I feel like I'm on trial for murder right now and there's a jury watching me. Oh, my gosh. We haven't done this in front of an audience. No, there's 30 people in here staring at me. I know. It's bad enough when he has to do this with no one in here. A whole shot of spree. Whatever kind of spree is there? Yeah, I mean. You want a half spree? You want a half spree? Three-quarter spree? No, no, no.
Thing is, is he lives in New York, and I kind of want him to fly me to New York and then take me. Were you wearing skinny jeans? No, I was not wearing skinny jeans. Were you sparkling because you were in the sunlight? Like Edward from Twilight. I'm not a vampire. I think you had black socks on with a little elastic thing. Yeah, so I was nude with black socks on. And a cigarette. I had a cigarette. It was like an inch-long ash out of it. Did you have your head resting in your hands and were you just tilting your head back and forth as she was talking? Yes. Pretty small wish. Oh, my God. I talk like a rapist. I do. I sound like a rapist. You know it's not pretty small. Oh, my gosh. Oh, which one in your stocking? Oh, you prevert. You preverted? What do you want? You stop. What do you want? You stop. What do you want? You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop.
animals season. And I think that animal's name is Woods. Yes. But what about it? Wow. Wow. Happy birthday. Oh my gosh. It's almost over. Just like things I need like deodorant and toothpaste. Deodorant? Deodorant? Oh my gosh. You don't even need it. You smell like... You didn't need it. You're so proud. What kind do you use on it? Oh, my gosh. I use one. You smell like Teen Spirit. Wait, you wouldn't get that reference. You wouldn't get that reference. Hold on. Was this in the high school parking lot when you interviewed him? Hold on. Oh, my gosh. Just pretend... Here comes security. Pretend I'm your uncle. Pretend I'm your uncle. Pretend I'm your uncle. Pretend I'm your uncle. Yes, honey. Yes, darling. Here's your cafeteria money.
Your cafeteria. Being full of deodorant. I'd be okay with that. Okay. As long as it came with the shopping spree. It's like a whole shopping spree. The whole shopping spree. No, just so you know, the whole thing is he just had to ask what they want for Christmas. This is turning into like... A date. Yeah. It's your first date. I keep buying that stuff. I live on my own. Okay. Oh, my God. What did you just say? You live on your own. Hold on. You live on your own. And toilet paper. And toilet paper. Oh, God. I have to take my head. Please. It makes me so sick. I love it. Holy God. Toilet paper. Toilet paper. Toilet paper. Toilet paper. I use toilet paper. Toilet paper. You use toilet paper. Oh, my God. It's toilet paper. We have so much economy. Where's this toilet paper? Toilet paper. It's so weird. Like, I don't even have to tell people. That's disgusting. Not when I go pee-pee. You do. Because you're a girl. When I go pee-pee, when I go pee-pee, I don't have to. Do you call it pee-pee? Do you call it pee-pee? Or, like, if that's not cool, I won't say it. What do you say? I'll say what you say. I'll say whatever she says. Ready, one, two, three. Pee-pee. One, two, three. Pee-pee. That's badass. Have a Merry Christmas. Thank you. Happy Hanukkah. Kill me, too.
Have a Merry Christmas. I'm sorry, sir. I didn't hear you. Have a Merry Christmas. Were you wishing me a Merry Christmas? Have a Merry Christmas. Okay, I'll have one. Why are you sticking a candy cane in my crib? Woods, while she was talking, were you trying to put your pinky in her mouth? Just your pinky. Just a tip. Okay. Jay, I think it was plenty when I, you know, when I said, I just spit all over Lauren. I'm sorry. I didn't feel it. I didn't feel it. I just was in shock. Yes. We're going to be on TV, by the way. Not all of us. Not all of us. Some of us will be. Well, we don't need you or Jay. I mean, it's just unnecessary. The talent. Well, right. That's the deal. So we will be on television this morning on... Stop saying we. Yeah. Well, I was talking about me and Lauren. Two of us. Lauren and I. Plural. Half of the show. Birthday girl. Maybe you read the news, your little love letter that you wrote to some girl that you never friends kiss. I could do that. Let me do that. You give me music. It was a different time. No, it's not. It's the exact same time.
All right. This would happen today. If you were single, this would happen. This would, okay. If you were single and you went to Ulta yesterday, you'd be writing Cheyenne a letter today, okay? Today, if you were single. And you would drop it off at Ulta with a tape that you made. Oh, that's so true. Full of all kinds of good stuff. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Okay. I'm going to read the poem. Which is untitled. I wrote this at a different time in my life. There was a title. This is, let's see, 1993. Right. Which would make you a 23-year-old man. Yes, yes, yes, yes. About 250. More than that. Three bills and a mullet. Three bills and a mullet. Three bills, a mullet, and a baby. So we will read. What I'm going to do here is I'm going to give. Two or three sentences leading up to the poem and then after the poem. Okay. And, of course, the poem itself. I'm going to read the questionary sentence. Okay. As soon as we go on Christmas break, we cannot mention these things. Thank God. Until the next Monday after Thanksgiving. These are the unmentionables. Do you know what I mean? I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm good for you. Don't let me go. Oh, God. She never had him.
Yeah, it's late and I'm goofy, all right? Oh, gosh. Where's my picture? Oh, God, creep. My friends have never seen you and I'm dying to show them what a babe you are. Sex pervert. You're Larry from Three's Company is what you are. You're looking for material. How about some late night poetry? How about it? Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Through hours of night and hundreds of miles sleeps one of the warmest that just smiles. I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's burning. It's hot on that spit, isn't it? It's burning. Those coals are real hot. Those miles are empty and full of regret. Oh, wow, wow. That's dumb. For leaving a face I will never forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God for the memories that I never made. That pain is expensive. Believe me. Believe me. I've paid. Hey, you want to make $14 the hard way? You jerk. You jerk.
It's better to picture your face to your voice from miles away. I don't have a choice. Oh, gosh, gosh, gosh. It smells dramatic and full of despair, but that's what I feel. So I really don't care. I hate that you know it. I hate that you know it. I know that sucker like the back of my hand. I have to read the poem. Woods is able to end those verses from memory. Correct. I just want to. Just to give the audience what I promised, I'm just going to read a few sentences when the poem is over. My hands are sweating. This is page three, by the way, of the letter. Does it suck? It's the best I can do it. 12, 18 a.m. It would have been better if it was 11 a.m. Yeah. You know what I mean? Clearly. Like, it's late. I'm goofy. Sorry. Haven't eaten? Oh, yeah, I have. You cruel southern bastard. There's actually mustard on the paper. It's hot mustard. Yeah, it's fingerprints. I like to write. So, how's your little stinker? It's what she called her niece. Go in there. It's what she called her niece.
How's your little stinker? How's your little stinker? You guys have nicknames already. Wow. Parts of you have nicknames. Yeah. How's your little stinker? It's what she calls her knees. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Her knees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure it is. How much time do we have, Jay? You have two minutes. Oh, perfect. There's plenty of time. Oh, maybe. This is another part of another letter. Gosh, hurry. Do you ever send somebody that you're really interested in a questionnaire for them to fill out? So here's what Mike did. An application. You're mean. For a job they don't want. I'll start a job that nobody wants. You are really a babe, by the way. Just in case I hadn't mentioned that in my last letter. No, you did. Okay, here we go. Number one. Tell me something about yourself that not a lot of people would know or that you think would surprise me. Like, I don't know, dot, dot, dot, dot. Maybe you can speak Vietnamese. Clever. Smart. Savvy. Savvy. Number two. What is your favorite time of day? Morning, noon, or night? Why? Why? That will not determine anything. Number three. What is your favorite Madonna song? My favorite.
She liked Madonna. Great. And why? If you say it's like a virgin, so help me God. Oh, so help me God. Is it Papa Don't Preach? Number four. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? He's trying to relate to her. You know, you want to be on the same page. Number five. This is very sly. Very sly. Five questions in. Why didn't you go to the movie with me? You're an ass. Number six. Oh, my gosh, dude. How old is your niece and what is her name? And number seven, plain coy, how sly was question number five. Not at all. This is my favorite. Ready? Enough questions, period. Mind you, the next sentence. What are you going to do when you get out of school in May? Then another one. Hey, do you have the bear on your desk? Then another one. Does he have a name? 55 questions to this poor girl. Oh, my gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Make noise. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please. Oh, my gosh. This is M1 Paco from Encinitas. What was the word of the day?
Riot. That is correct, my friend. We're going to the Holiday Hoot Nanny. Nice. All right. Hey, when we come back, maybe we point our lasers over at birthday girl. Oh, yeah. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949-MIKEY. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Only one day to go. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Presented by Coors Light. Tomorrow night on the University of San Diego campus with My Morning Jacket. Featuring Door Cinema Club. Matt and Kim. Delta Spirit.
and the blackout party tickets are on sale now get yours at tickets.com the jenny craig pavilion box office on the usd campus or fm949sd.com the fm949 holiday hootenanny 2011 is presented by coors light and supported by spy optic join us tomorrow night for an epic evening of music with fm949 this is the fm9 It is supported by our good friends at Sports Chalet. What's up there, sunshine? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Big weekend. Tonight, you can see the Blackheart Procession at the Casbah. And tomorrow, it is finally here. The FM 94.9 2011 Holiday Hootenanny. Blackout Party will open the show at 7.30 in the Beer Garden. And then they'll play sets between all the other main stage fans. Delta Spirit kick off the main stage. Matt and Kim, Two Door Cinema Club. and a full set by headliners My Morning Jacket again that is tomorrow. Get your tickets online, fm949sd.com. And still to come, Peter Murphy with She Wants Revenge, Lee Scratch Perry, The Boxer Rebellion, Dinosaur Jr. and Henry Rollins, Pinback, No Effects,
Wilco, Young the Giant, and Craig Finn of The Hold Steady. So there you have it. We will see you tomorrow at the Holiday Hootenanny. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. Cricket presents obvious life choices where making a good choice is also an easy choice. Take holiday carolers. You can go with, is that the best you got? Or that rocks a lot. And when it comes to wireless plans, will it be unlimited lameness? Or. Unlimited music. Starting at $55 a month, Cricket gives you nationwide talk, text, and data, plus unlimited music downloads from Move Music, all on the latest Android-powered smartphones like the ZTE Score. Now just $79.99 with no contract. The choice just makes itself, so score a great gift this season. Cricket, your call. Limited time offer requires new activation. See store for planned data usage and coverage details. Terms and conditions apply.
Hurry in today and you can get the ZTE score for just $79.99 this holiday. It's a great deal and an even better gift. Now at a cricket store. Cricket, your call. If you like Jimmy and you like Willie, you're going to love Lucas Nelson and Promise of the Real appearing live on behalf of Jobs for Autism Saturday, December 10th, 8.30 p.m. at the North Park Theater, 2891 University Avenue. Come see this next legend of rock and roll. That's Saturday, December 10th. You'll be blown away. Tickets available online at jobsforautism.com. That's jobsforautism.com. It's the holidays, 1939. Life is slower. Times are simpler. And a new family business named Dietz & Watson is about to spend 72 years preparing your holiday party.
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to anyone looking to improve their health and well-being. Check out these great deals and more this week at HalfPriceSanDiego.com. At JCPenney this Friday and Saturday, we're giving you a big thank you for the holidays with an extra 20% off when you use your JCPenney Rewards credit card. JCPenney. It's not easy finding holiday gifts and staying within your budget. Fortunately for you, the parts professionals at your local O'Reilly Auto Parts store are always here to help. Stop in today and find great gift ideas starting at $6.99. Items like Ultra Steel 40-piece socket sets, Performance Tool 8-piece screwdriver sets or toolboxes, hex sets, and more. And with thousands of products, accessories, and tools in stock at everyday low prices, an O'Reilly Auto Parts gift card is an easy way to give a gift you know they'll like. From handy gifts starting at $6.99 each to gift cards for any amount.
O'Reilly Auto Parts has your holiday shopping already in the bag. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supply. See store for details. Problems on the 8. This report brought to you by Garmin. Give a, give a, give a Garmin. Someone you know needs one. Give them a Garmin Nuvi. With free lifetime map and traffic updates. Limitations apply. Get all the details at Garmin.com. Well, declaring a crash from the left lane on the 8 westbound past Johnson Avenue. Expect delays right now. Starting right about the 67. And I'm seeing heavy traffic on the 805 northbound. Starting right about Murray Ridge Road. Heading all the way up to Highway 52. This report also brought to you by Cox Business. Cox Knows Business. Cox Business, providing solutions for all your business communications needs. Supported by a local team. Cox Knows Business. Visit online at coxbusiness.com. I'm Barbara Brooks, FM 94.9. Sorry to be the one to have to tell you. Oh, my God.
And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. He sees the word wonderful. Again. I'm 40. It's okay. Woods. Your boy gets in the shower and I have very little hair and I have to condition, of course, because it smells so good and it feels so good when you condition. Lauren. When I have to say smart things on the spot, I'm like... And Jay. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. It's like subway music. I don't know what that is. Like you hear it on a subway? Yeah, like... Or like in subway. No. It sounds like the kind of thing that you would hear as they're showing a subway or something. All right, so really germ-filled places at the mall. Oh, no. These are the places that you need to look out for. I avoid the mall at all costs. I just do. It's just Ulta and you go to Sur La Table a lot, which is a...
It's a Cook's Paradise. Cook's Paradise. You go to Tommy Bahama a lot. I don't go to Tommy Bahama. Those are usually standalone, though. That's true. Well, they'd be in a strip mall. Yeah. But I don't go to Tommy Bahama. Bed Bath & Beyond. Yep. All right. It's true. I've been there with you. I know it to be true. That one's true. These are the things that are full of germs when you go to the mall. Ladies' makeup samples are disgusting. Oh, yeah. Don't use makeup samples. No way. I see people do that. The only thing I will do is put one on my hand to see what the color is going to look like. Mm-hmm. Gadgets at electronic stores. Disgusting. That makes total sense. Yeah. Cameras, cell phones, all that stuff, because people are touching it. Yeah. They go doo-doo. They don't wash their hands. No. They don't yamas. What does it say? Yamas. Llamas los... Lavarse. Lavarse. Los manos. Lavarse. Los manos. Fitting rooms... What? ...are full of germs. The handles. Yep. They're actually a big problem. The clothing is disgusting. The hangers are disgusting. Yep. Hey, you put on a pair of jeans...
chances that somebody put those jeans on with no underwear, like that creep right there, are very high. That's why I grabbed from the bottom. Our producer, Jay, does not wear underwear. No. And never wears underwear. I own a pair. He'd go to a wedding or a funeral, no underwear. I call it my doctor underwear. You know what's interesting is Jay and I, when we went on the TV show Wipeout this year, Jay and I were on that show, we went to... buy outfits for the show. We'd have matching outfits. And we tried on swimsuits. Yeah. We tried on a few. Yep. And we settled on one. That would mean that somebody here is wearing some Old Navy swimsuits that Jay's boys have been in. And I'm not kidding. That is a true statement. That's a felony. Yeah, it should be. That's a true statement, my friend. That just blew your mind. That's disgusting, Jay. Sacked him up real good. Some guy right now is in the park with earbuds in listening to our show. And he's like, you're welcome. You're welcome. Well, if he's wearing a bathing suit in December, chances are he's just as creepy as you. That's true. That's true. He's pervert as well. That is a true story. In the park. Also, toy stores. Oh, yeah. Disgusting.
Toy stores. Little snot rags. Yeah, because all the... Seriously. Four lovely snot rags of kids, Jay. Gross. He just called kids snot rags. They are. They're just snot-filled little monsters. I agree. Oh, my God. I agree, man. Yesterday, Luke came running up to me, and he had... And it's always. It seems like always. My son is two. I think to myself, does your nose never have boogers on it? I know. It's the winter. I mean, does your nose just not have snot ever? My niece is a year and a half. She coughed into my mouth yesterday. Oh, my God. I'm coughing. That's what happens. I was like, give Auntie a kiss, and she was coming up to do it, and right as we were about to pucker, she coughed right into my mouth. Right in your mouth. Yeah. You were inhaling. But I just kissed her anyway, and I said, oh. Who did you pick up, Luke or Ryan? I think it was Ryan. Over your head. Over my head and snot and... Ran right out and into Wade's mouth. You've got to be careful. It was the most disgusting, disturbing thing I've ever seen. As a parent, though, you learn to accept it. Jasper and I, my son, will be in the hot tub. He's eight. And I'll reach out. And he's got just boogers just coming out of his nose. I'll just reach and grab him and sling him off into the bushes. Disgusting. Hey, listen.
If you're somewhere where there's water, I don't have a problem with it. But my wife, she'll do it. It doesn't matter. Yeah, she'll do it at, you know, soup plantation to reach over. Yes. And she doesn't care. I mean, for moms, I guess you get to a point where it doesn't matter. But gosh, darn it, it's disgusting. Can you do that for you, too? Yeah. If I get some, she'll just, you know, take it right off. Come here, honey. ATM keypads are one of the filthiest, most germ-filled places that you can find. Wow. Gosh, I don't think about this stuff. Yeah, be real careful with that. Gosh, between the buttons and the money. Yeah. You probably don't think about this, but escalator handrails. Disgusting. Oh, yeah. If they were to take a cotton swab to those black rubbery escalator handrails. Malaria on that. Oh.
AIDS. Yes. Everything you could possibly think of is on there. Diseases that have been eradicated. Yes. The polio. Polio is still in there. TB. Don't get the polio. The tables in the food court are hideous and covered in germs. And the number one thing, we were actually talking about this yesterday off the air, in terms of things that skeeve us out, the bathroom sink, any place in public. But. at the malls. It's one of the dirtiest places. It's the number one dirtiest place. She's a lot of traffic. Well, I said this. I said, does anything skeeve you guys out more than water on a sink at a public place? I see it and I just go. Like a lot of what? A lot of it makes me want to die. Sometimes you don't see it and then all of a sudden you've got a straight line on your waist where you leaned up against the counter. Yeah, you're like, great. It's like I peed. In a straight line across myself. But is there anything grosser than that milky gray pool of water on the public sink? And when there's a lot of it, you go, who are you, guy? What are you, six years old? What guy are you? Well, it happens here at work a lot. I walk in that bathroom to wash my hands and there's water all over him.
What the hell are you doing? What, are you washing your shirt in here? You're a creep. And who's the guy who's chewing up spoons and throwing them in the urinal? I mean, who's that guy who's throwing his own trash and his gum into the urinal? It fell out of my mouth. It wasn't my fault. It fell out of my mouth. Oh, and the bottle cap that was chewed up? Who does that? Who's the guy that chases people around with stuff? There's two types of people in the world. There's two types of people in the world. There's guy that doesn't chase people around with stuff. And there's guy that chases people around with stuff. Jay is that guy. And that guy skeeves me out more than anything. You know who he is? He's mustard guy. He's the kid. In the cul-de-sac with the mustard all over his face. And he chases you with stuff. He's booger boy, too. He always has snot and boogers here. I would chase you with it. Jay, yes. And you know what? When he was a kid, he was meow mouth. Meow mouth, yeah. Meow mouth. No. Yes, he was. When he talked, he had the meow, meow, meow, meow. No. I was meow free. Yesterday, Jay, we had an esthetician in that waxed our nose. Yes. Mike Jesus.
Yeah, and she pulls out wax and it's got your nose hairs in it. She threw them directly in the garbage. Yeah. They were giant. Jay picked his out and chased us. Which he wasn't even sure was his. Oh, it was mine. Trust me. He chased us. You don't know. She said a lot came out and that was a fur burger in there. He chased us. I threatened to go to HR. That was a fur burger in there. It was. That's your friend, Mike. That's your friend. That's your friend. It's your good friend. That's your boy. It's your boy. That's your boy. I didn't know that guy before I moved here. Thanks a lot. He pulls this haresickle out of the garbage. Yep. And he starts chasing Woods and L.O.B. like a kid. And they're both. And L.O.B. let out a screech. She let out a scream that was so loud. Was that wood? An ear piercing. Might have been me. No, I think it was L.O.B. I jumped behind her. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I thought about what would happen, like, if that would be self-defense. If I was going to kick him. Oh. In a place where I wasn't sure you guys would forgive me. My arm cocked back in a fist. I would forgive you. In fact, I would...
Appreciate you. Longer than it's ever been. Longer than it's ever been. Oh, that reminds me. We didn't get to Lauren. Oh, yeah. We got, like, a TV appointment in a couple minutes. Five minutes, boy. Probably don't have time for that. You gonna come set that up there? Furburger? Furburger. You're a nice guy to set it up, even though we're not on there, Jay. I'll get this for you. You're a hell of a guy. Thank you. Appreciate that. You gonna play some ping pong while they're on TV? Yeah, let's do that. Why not? It's cool, man. Yeah, we don't need you guys for this. It's cool. So, let's Skype. You just pulled down the wrong button. Yeah, L.O.B. Very, very demure. Well, when I first met L.O.B., I thought she was the shyest, most demure, soft-spoken. That's what I thought. And I think that even when Woods met her, he thought that. Scared to death of her. Yeah. Yeah. Scared to death. Yeah. Literally.
Very professional. Very professional. So professional. This girl may be my demise is what I thought. Here was the deal. Like a trained assassin. Here was the thing with LLB. When she first started working with us, she didn't have any idea about radio. She thought it was professional. She thought it was. She had no idea that it's the stupidest business. It is the stupidest business out of all businesses. Radio's the dumbest of them all. I just sign a contract and go through the whole nine yards. And before waiting tables, I was working for big corporations. Big business. Yep. You didn't realize that it was run by dum-dums. Did not. At the time, you thought, oh, they got to be smart. Otherwise, they wouldn't be there. Exactly. Well, L.O.B., after getting to know us a little bit, decided that she was going to reveal certain things to us off the air. And she revealed that she had, in fact. sang Santa baby for her boyfriend for their first Christmas together. She had just found some new roommates on Craigslist. Yeah. Creep. How many roommates? Two roommates and a dog and a revolving door. Lots of people in there. Boy or girl? One boy, one girl. All right. So here comes the new girl. She waits for them to leave. She waits for them to leave the apartment for the day once they've...
Left the abode. She goes into the bathroom with her computer. Who, by the way, is hardly ever there. And when I am there, I'm in my room with my boyfriend. There you go. So she went into the bathroom. She didn't have a microphone, so she improvised. She used a pair of earbuds as a microphone. Right, because who wouldn't? Yeah. And then she sang Santa Baby and sent it to her boyfriend. It sounded... Like this. I'm gonna go get a chair. No, you're not. No, you're not. Because every girlfriend has done this. Oh, yeah. Good acoustics in the van. Sounds so good. She's got to be on a sex pervert site that's like, this girl is a pervert. Look out for her. Watch out. It's her face. Yes. You know what she wants to subtly say to him? And by subtle, I mean not subtle. She wants to say to him, I'm going to rape you when I see you the next time. I'm going to tear you apart. Whether you want it, Matt Commerce, or not. Get out of here. Yeah, I'm going to tear you apart. You're going to get it. If I was Matt Commerce, I would have been very embarrassed. But not because it's bad. It would have just made me hot. And I would have written back.
Oh, how many? Maybe a sweater would have been a nice gift. I did give them gifts. I know you did. This was the icing on the cake. Very tasty icing. It was great icing. Oh, wait. She did get her dog back. What she did actually could have been very dangerous. Kristen Mosteller joins us now live to explain why. We're just listening. We're going to go on TV. Not all of us. Well, me and LLB. Is there chocolate on my butt? Yep. No, there's not. Just where you like it. Gosh, Jay. Hey, what are you going to do? You've got to give him that one. You've got to give him that one. I've been coughing all morning, and I feel like I'm going to cough during this. We're on Channel 6. If you want to see Lauren and I. Gosh darn. Does anybody have a lozenge? Oh, wow. Where is that? What's happening? Why is there a bikini girl? We didn't know about bikini girl. Oh, I knew about bikini girl. Some authorities are saying that what Corona did was not. What is she doing? She wanted her chihuahua back and she wasn't getting any leads. So she held a sign and stood on the corner and said that she wanted her chihuahua back and she got a stalker. Oh, really? What happened? The guy was trying to meet her. He answered a Craigslist ad.
He tried two separate attempts. The first time she decided she wasn't going to meet him, and then he texted her from the same number. Well, you can't wear a bikini and put your phone number out there. Birthday LLB. Oh, thank you. 21, right? Yeah, exactly. Good, good. Me too? Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay. Now we can go out drinking together. That's right. Yeah, she can finally vote. Excellent. Hey, let me jump right to these questions here. Lulu wrote and said, I spent Thanksgiving with my serious boyfriend and his family while making small talk with his sister. She mentioned to me that the brothers like mess around and I shouldn't get too attached. Hence why their parents are divorced. Now, do I believe her or is she just ruffling feathers? The sister seems like the jealous type. Well, you guys make that listen.
A sister that would say that about her own brother sounds kind of weird. You know, so I don't know that I'd take a weirdo's word for it. Yeah, I think you've got to give them the benefit of the doubt. Because who knows what kind of crazy pills she might be taking and what might be revealed after that. So, yeah, I would wait to see. It's definitely a red flag, though. And I would definitely look in the medicine cabinet and see if there is a big bottle of pills that says crazy on it. Okay, well, so much for that one, then. It is possible. I mean, she sounds nuts. Any sister that would say that about her brother sounds like a wacky. Yeah, that would say that, you know, and kind of sabotage his budding relationship. Especially on Thanksgiving. Yeah. Okay, let's ask you this question, though. With the holidays here, my girlfriend is pressuring me to put a ring on it. How do I gently say I'm not ready without hurting her feelings? I know the feeling. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Hot button. Well, that's a great question, guys. Lauren, what do you think? I'd say just, you know, patiently wait it out. Maybe wait for, you know, someday. Or like a white horse. Or wait for maybe when gays have the right to marry. Like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Okay. Mikey, chime in here.
What are you, crazy? I mean, what do you want to get me killed? Yeah, I mean, I guess so. Whatever Lauren said. Yes, what Lauren said. I agree with what Lauren said. I think she makes perfect sense and that's what they should do. No, seriously. Go ahead. The holidays sometimes are kind of, the holidays are this time when you kind of get emotional and everything's a little more romantic. Expectations are high. Yeah, exactly. And, you know, you might. rush into something during the holidays or get pressured into something that might not be the right timing. Yeah, you can't badger somebody into marriage. And so that would be my thought on it. Also, just I don't know if you guys have seen the shenanigans that are going on behind us. Our producer and also executive producer, who's a professional, allegedly, he and Woods both. want to appear on television desperately. And so they've been trying to appear on television. And they've been somewhat subtle about it and sometimes not so subtle. So there they are. Well, there you go. All right. They just want to be TV stars. Oh, here comes Woods. Now Woods wants to be on television. And so he's very subtle, Woods. Very subtle. By the way, guys.
Apparently my microphone's out, so I'm going to try to talk into Mark's microphone. I can hear you. Lauren, can I just tell you this? Yes. You are gorgeous. Oh, thank you. You're young. You're successful. No, no, no. My name is Mikey. People call me Lauren all the time. You don't ever have to ask somebody to put a ring on it. No, no. I wouldn't do that. And, you know, what kind of marriage is based on the pressure, you know? I mean, that's just, you don't force someone to do it. I guarantee you guys are lined up with rings for you. Well, yes. There's a couple outside in the studio right now, so I'm going to see. Yeah, she always likes to throw out there to her boyfriend that there are other men that are interested, and I'm sure he likes them. And we'll leave it at that. Hey, guys, we've got to run. Thanks, guys. Have a good weekend. Have a good weekend. See you. Okay, you too. Bye-bye. Oh, wow. Jay plays that every single time. Sorry, Lauren. Sorry. He plays it every single time. Can you just tell him my name's Lauren? Poor girl. Lauren, you did it once. Sorry. Did it one time. And he continues to pay for it. It's unbelievable. Oh, boy. Oh, let's see. Jay's head on the screen. He is such a clown. He is such a clown. He's just doing it.
I wish I could see it. Oh, my God. Just a blank stare. He is such a clown. I loved it. You know what? I was faking it on that second question. I have no idea what they asked. Do you? You didn't hear it? No, I wasn't paying attention. You realize I sent you the questions the day before. I know. That was actually a curveball. That was a different question. Yeah, I think it was. It was a curveball. What was it? I think that's what kind of sent me into a tailspin as well. It was the holidays. This guy saying it was the holidays and his girlfriend was kind of pressuring him to propose. What did he want to know? Do I have to put a ring on it or something like that? Oh, man. I was sure back on TV I'd talk about it. Weird. Yeah. I didn't even hear it. So I was like, I was faking it. I was like, yeah, whatever. That's why I said been there. Yep. Yep. I mean, I knew it was kind of about, you know, marriage, but I didn't really know what the whole deal was. So let's hear it in our live studio audience. So we'll be back. And when we are, we should play a game. We haven't played any games. I'm in. What else have I got for you? Got a good email.
Very good email, so I'll do that for you when we come back. Lifetimes of catching up. And the most exciting thing to happen. I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal. More from The Mikey Show coming up. In a respectful and sober manner. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Oh, go, go. This is The Mikey Show. You're welcome. On FM 94.9. Good day, drivers. As we speak, a world-renowned group of performance specialists are preparing to launch an event of epic proportions. Your mission, if you should choose to accept it, is to take full advantage of the situation. Codename the BMW Mission to Drive sales event. Once there, test drive any new BMW from the legendary lineup, including the all-new 6 Series, featured in the new movie Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol, in theaters this December. For a short period of time, you'll have access to an up to $2,500 credit.
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Channel 4, San Diego. Your home for Aztecs football. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle Fresno State, 5 p.m. Saturday on Channel 4, San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4, San Diego. Got a couple of big problems this report brought to you by Applebee's. Come see what's sizzling at your neighborhood Applebee's. Try new sizzling entrees like new double barrel whiskey sirloin, sizzling Cajun steak and shrimp and sizzling queso chicken today. All at your neighborhood Applebee's. We've got an accident on the 805 northbound before Balboa and the two right lanes just jamming things up from Murray Ridge Road. It stays busy to Highway 52 and now a crash on the 8 westbound right past West Main. The right lanes blocked there. Expect delays from Highway 67.
This report also brought to you by Chevy. This holiday, Chevy's giving more. More savings, more vehicles with more of what you want. Hurry in and get the best savings of the season before January 3rd. I'm Barbara Brooks, FM 94.9. Nobody freaks out about guns and stuff. I don't freak out about them because my brother, I grew up around them. My brother had them the whole time I was growing up, so I don't freak out about guns. I like them. Woods. I flooded an entire Hampton Inn. Lauren. I used to be really into the Grateful Dead. Fantastic. And like the knob chomp of. I and Jay. I don't want to miss somebody calling this like, hey, let's go surf. Or let's go do something. Oh, Jay, shut up. This is the Mikey Show. Can you believe it? FM 94.9. Let's hear it from our live studio audience. So Yahoo News says that Sunset Cliffs is one of the five disappearing places on Earth. Sunset Cliffs, right here in San Diego. They say because of natural and human causes. That's a bummer. We love Sunset Cliffs. Let's see.
Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, it is official. The Minnesota Vikings have released veteran quarterback Donovan McNabb on Thursday. He started only six games for the Vikings this year and has been watching rookie Christian Ponder playing for the Vikings. So, you know what? They were 1-5 under Donovan. They cut him. I have a feeling he'll be picked up somewhere. What was the deal? You know, I don't know. I mean, he was completing 60% of his passes, 1,000 yards, four touchdowns. and two picks, but they were one and five. I think he made some costly mistakes and wasn't making the throws he needed to make. But there's a lot of NFL teams that could use a veteran quarterback right now, and maybe it's the fresh start bit for him. He might need a change of scenery. And also Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning has been cleared for workouts of greater intensity, but he still has no timetable on when he's going to return to the field. I think Peyton Manning deserves the MVP this year because they're 0-11 without him. I mean, that is the most valuable player in the league, even though he hadn't taken a snap. And that tells you he's the most valuable player. Absolutely. 0-11. That stuff works good. What is it? It's called Thayer's Slippery Elm Lozenges. Yep. I've been using these for years. What is it, an all-natural bit? Is that the deal? I don't think so. You got those for me, Mike.
I didn't even get them. Somebody gave them to me. Oh, me and you got them for L.O.B. We stole them from you. Yeah. I just kept them in here. Is that the thing I got you? Yeah. Oh. I didn't even realize. Because I was clearing my throat. I didn't even realize. Thanks, L.O.B. Yeah. Enjoy. Hey, Woods is playing at the bootlegger tonight. L.O.B.'s playing at the improv in Hollywood. Wow. Big timer's real good. Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. Yeah. Hey, Jay. Yes, sir. I watched that show you told me to watch. Yesterday, The Walking Dead. Did you get episode one? Yes. Oh, you're hooked now. Dude, and I called my brother because my brother's into zombies. The possibility of them for real or like as a fantasy genre? No. Well, is it really though? I don't know, man. I'm scared. Well, I know that Jay got me into it. Your daughter's into it. My daughter got me into it. She watched the whole first season, and I kind of walked through the room and watched her watch, and I was like, oh, wait a minute. And then I went back and started at the beginning, and I just finished the final episode of, I guess it's the mid-season finale that they do. That's kind of how you got into Gossip Girl, too. Yeah. Watching your one tree hill. How can you help not get in on that? Glee. That's fair enough. Glee. There's sex in it. Would you like it? It's not crazy sex. It's kind of right up your alley.
Yeah, it's in your wheelhouse, man. They do it. I want to watch sex when I want to watch One Tree Hill. My daughter, Liberty, now wants a zombie kit. A zombie kit. What might that be? She wants, well, first off, she asked me, I recapped this not too long ago, but she said, Dad, do you have a handgun? And I'm like, I'm kind of against handguns. I have a rifle. She goes, but Dad, when they're really close, you have to be able to shoot them right in the brainstem. I'm like, what? It's not the brainstem, just the head. You've got to shoot them in the head. They're not real, you clowns. If they were, you've got to shoot them in the head. And it didn't necessarily have to be the brainstem. You've just got to make sure you get a headshot. Headshot, because the body shot wasn't good. You've got to get the brainstem because it'll shoot the head off. That's true, and it does. It does, for sure. But there's no real that's not real. Brainstem is the best shot for a zombie. Make no doubt about it, for a zombie. But a headshot will do. And if they bite you, you're a zombie. You get the fever, yeah. You get the fever, you're a zombie. Burns you out. Burns you out. You live for a while, and then your bones get real sore. Well, it seems like you die. Yeah. And then, bam. You come back. Can it be anywhere from, like, a day or so, or it could happen in, like, an hour? How can you tell if there's... Could be a year. Oh, you know, their skin's kind of falling off, and they, like, they shuffle, and their head's kind of to the side. Yeah, like Thriller. Like Thriller. Yeah, like Thriller. Like Thriller, only real-looking. Exactly. Very real-looking. Well, like Thriller, only it's actually real, so, you know, there's that. So scared. It's a good show.
Jay was right. Sounds awesome. Yeah. There was little details that they had that made it very realistic for me. Stuff that guys like George Romero, who are supposed to be like the grand, he's like the grand poobah of zombies, he didn't even get. Flies. Ah. The flies creeped me out. Oh, yeah. That's pretty gross. Rotting flesh. Well, they would show like these zombies laying on the ground. They haven't become zombies yet. And they're so just dead guys. Yeah. Well, but they got the fever. They died. They're coming. Yeah. And the zombie has a habit of just sometimes you just be laying there and you'll walk by it and you think, oh, it's just dead guy. And it's not. He's just resting. Yeah. Yeah. Who wouldn't just walk by a dead guy? Yeah. He's taking a siesta. Well, they're everywhere. There's dead. There's cars. I mean, it is worldwide. They bomb cities. It's just in. No, they don't. Yeah, they do. No, they don't. And once they bite you, all it takes is a bite. Nope, they don't do that. And then you'll get a fever. The fever burns so hot, the guy says it's like sand next to a furnace. And it eventually kills you. Then you reanimate. You come back, and then you've got to start eating people. How would you like to be the guy that's in the hospital and wakes up? He's in a coma. That's the way it starts off. The guy's in a coma. He got shot. He's a police officer. He got shot. And last thing he knows, everything's normal. He's in the hospital. I don't know for how long. And he wakes up, and all the monitors are off. The hospital's dark.
Empty. He walks out in the hallway. Good thing he woke up. He walks out in the hallway. Yeah, I don't know why. He walks out in the hallway, and it's just anarchy. There's bodies on the floor. There's spray paint on the walls. Looks really real. It's kind of flat. Lights are kind of flickering like they're on emergency power, you know, kind of thing. I wonder how long he was going without a drip. Yeah, I know. Woods, how much? For what? $100. No. Oh, you're such a jerk. You can't get him to watch anything. You can't get him to watch anything. But he'll watch Footloose 52 times. Footloose is brilliant. More than 52 times. It's brilliant. More than 52. Brilliantly stupid. But you won't watch anything about zombies. No. Don't you like scary movies? No, not really. Yeah, he likes Twilight. Oh, that's true. You do like Twilight. I enjoyed the first one. You know, the second one I haven't seen all the way through, but I really liked the first one. I'll tell you, I'm not embarrassed. You've seen all four of them. I've only seen one and a half. I'm a good husband. Hey, look, these guys are hot. You'll like them. Yeah, they're really hot. You'll be fine. Dude, there's some scenes where you see their chest. Yeah, you'll love it. I don't like men. Well, but I can't understand then, because Twilight? 570-1949. Twilight's an epic love story. That is a true fact. Edward and Bella, I'm in on that. That's a true fact. Much like my wife Jamie and I, our love stories. Like when you fight her in the neck? Yes, that's right. And I sparkle. 570-1949 is the number.
There is a, speaking of graphic novels, because that's what that show came from, a graphic novel. Action Comics 1 just sold for $2.16 million in an auction. Holy Toledo. That is a lot of dough for a comic book. And what do you do with it? You just put it above your desk in a glass case. I guess. Hold on to it and then you sell it. You wake up in the middle of the night. Yeah, you run down and look at it. You run and look at it and go back to bed. You're not a big memorabilia guy, though, are you? No. Not at all. I am, so I would, not for comic books, but I would. Do you know that right now in our hallway closet, I have a autographed Chris Cornell thing that's just shoved in there? And the only reason I even knew is because I was looking the other day. I was looking. Rebecca wanted something. She wanted something and I go, oh, we have those. And I'm digging through the closet and I go, ah. What's he with like this? Well, it says to Mikey. Oh, son of a gun. You're screwed. Yeah, because he came in and he signed it. But I'm not into the memorabilia stuff. I love it. We always have been. My whole family is. I'm not into the memorabilia or like the photo bombing.
I got to get a photo with. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll get the photo. I like the photo. But here's the thing, man. If I, well, I do like theologians. And so I'll take pictures with like, those are my guys. Right. I'm going to save that clip. It's like if you had, but you would want, what about biblical artifacts? Would you want something like that? No. You wouldn't collect any of that? Nothing. We're big in my house growing up on, we have a lot of autograph stuff. You do? Yeah. It was a thing my dad and I could do together. Probably our Mickey Mantle autograph. Holy cow, man. That's a big deal. And we have a ball. Well, we have a ball signed by the entire 1961 Yankees. So feast on that. Mantle and Maris. Yeah. That's a big deal. That's different, though. That was Babe Ruth. Yeah. Babe Ruth, you can't touch. No. Hey, there was a kid in the South Bay that got a perfect score on the SATs. That's awesome. That got the big brain. Perfect score. Isn't that 1,600? Yeah. They changed SAT scoring. That's insane. That is nuts, man. It said that it was his third try. He goes to Bonita High School and he got the perfect score. Woods, what does SAT stand for? Scholastic Aptitude Test. That is correct. Sweetwater Union High School District announced this kid. His name is Dylan Cruz. He was one of 71 kids.
Here in California and 384 across the whole country to score a perfect, here's the number, 2,400. Holy. Wow. 2,400. 384 kids across the country got a 2,400. Now, if you do that, does it mean instant admittance to any university that you want to go to? Not really instant because he's got to have the grades too, but it is a huge help. Oh, yeah. If he's got B's. A's and B's with that score? Wherever he wants. I guess it's that score. He doesn't have B's. What if his average was a C-? No. He couldn't really. I don't think he could have his pick of the litter, but I think there's. He's still getting a good school. There'll be schools that plenty of, you know, very prestigious schools that would want him. Schools may, you know, if he's got a C average and he gets a 2,400 on his SATs, they may be like, huh. They would definitely sniff around. Something's fishy. When you guys went to college and you. applied to all the different colleges because I didn't go to college. When you guys did that, did you send a picture? No. No? No, you do an essay, though. Because I was wondering if they admit good-looking people over, you know. No, they couldn't do that. Well, they couldn't say that they do it, but they do it. I mean, every job does it. They can't say that they do it. But they do it. But they do it. Yeah, that's why you have interviews. Otherwise, you do it over the phone. Of course.
You're like, this guy sounds like he may be a little old. Listen, let me get him in here. I will tell you this. That's ageism. Yes. I'll tell you this. I have worked with some of the dumbest general managers that there are on planet Earth. I mean, dumb. Couldn't run anything, but they were sharp. Good looking guys. Good looking guys. I mean, tall, good looking dudes. Looked like they could be in a movie for, like, president. Yeah, I know one of them. I worked with him. Yes, you do. You guys should not say that about our current... That's not who we're talking about. Lauren was saying before we went on the radio, she was talking about... our general manager in a very negative light. And we said no. In a very negative light. We said no. And I said, Lauren, even though it's your birthday, that is not okay. Our general manager looks like Robert Duvall, and I'm in on him. That is true. He looks like Robert Duvall, and he also looks like James Taylor and was mistaken for James Taylor. And hey, by the way, I love you, big guy, if you're listening. Yeah, nice try, Woods. Nice cover-up. Love that guy. Like, do you have a boyfriend?
I believe he's married. Jay, I believe he's married. Have a Merry Christmas. Yes, Rick, have a Merry Christmas. His name is Rick. One of my favorite names. Which one in your stocking? It's important to get to boss something for Christmas. Oh, this is the grossest story. Woods read this this morning and his jaw dropped open. It's so gross and weird. This guy orders a prostitute to his hotel room and finds out it's his daughter. No, my daughter is not a prostitute. I know, but you do order prostitutes into hotels. And you did see a picture of your daughter on my laptop and go... From a distance, I could not tell that my daughter was... Why are you creeping on my daughter? He wasn't creeping on your daughter. Your daughter came up in his news feed and she had some new photos that she added.
She... Didn't she? Usually people that are in your newsfeed are like people that you check out often. Yes. Not necessarily. Absolutely. Not necessarily. No, I got people in there I never check out. Then why do I always see you creeping on different girls on your laptop? Well, wait a minute. When you and I, when you come in here and we creep on girls? That's why I was like, you always get Jay, you have to see this. So Woods gave him the usual, hey, take a look at this one. Come in here, you gotta see this. It's a true story. Jay sees it from outside the studio and jump... No. Doesn't leap. Doesn't get it. Jumps out of his chair. Yeah. Runs in here. That's the best reaction I've seen yet from him to a girl. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Open that door and you could hear him go. That's just my taste. Right up his alley. No, it's not right up my alley. And then he realized. Oops. Oh, no. That's my kin. Threw him back out. Fell in the bean bag. Yes, he did. It was like he got shot. Yeah. Hey, that's actually a true story, right? Yes. That he messed his back up. Oh, yeah. He messed up his back. My back. My back. Then he hobbled away and was like, no, Wood, no. No. How could you do this to me? How could you do that? Gosh darn it, you know how I feel about porno and I love it. I didn't know what I saw. It ain't my fault. Jay, question. Never stare at the boobies, kid.
Great audio. Jay, question. One channel. Question. Question. Have you ever discussed it? No. It never came up. A conversation came up yesterday, but it was not exactly about that. You guys were talking about me on the golf course. Yes. And Liberty said that she finally, Liberty, my daughter. My 21-year-old daughter. Is she 21? Yeah. She said that she had to turn the channel because you were talking about girth. Or lack thereof. Oh, my gosh. It's there. Yeah. Or lack thereof. Poor children. Lack of girth. Like a beer can. According to Woods, there's no girth to be found. He's the only one. He's the only one on the show that has wanted to see it. Well, I've seen it. I'm the only one on the show that has actually seen it. He didn't want to see it. I'll show it to you now. He didn't want to see it. Then why did he look for so long? Because he'd never seen it. It was like looking at Haley's Comet. Woods, what did he do it like? It's not true. Like this. I was wearing khaki jeans. It's like he's trying to get the last of the toothpaste. That's exactly right. No, no.
That's exactly right. I was wearing khaki pants that I didn't know I wanted to get dribbles on. Oh, my gosh. So I'm holding it back like this. No. He was holding it away from his pants. And by the way, Woods, who holds their khakis back? Yeah. This is sex rumor. They're puffy. They're puffy. Really? Yeah. What are you, MC Hammer? Yeah, they're puffy. Puffy pants? Yeah. Yeah, I had puffy pants on. So I'm holding it back. Well, I don't wear underwear. I'm like a circus clown, and I wear puffy pants. So I have to make sure that it is... Free. Do you remember? You pulled it away from me. No, I did not. I don't have to. Do you remember what role you were on on the golf course? Uh-uh. All Woods remembers is that Woods is on the phone. I walk around the golf cart, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, here, here, here. And I go, what am I doing? You did not. You did this. You came around the cart, and you're like, yeah, yeah, sell, sell, bye, bye, bye. And you look at it, and you go, Yeah, I nodded. I looked longingly at it. Then he paused for a second. He walks away. He's like, yeah, so blah, blah, blah. I'm going to talk really loud on my phone. Oh, my gosh. I looked longingly at Jay's long, thin wiener. The guys in our foursome called. And that salt and pepper thatch. Oh, no. I had trimmed the trees back. Trust me. I don't want to hear anymore. Wood said it was like a lobster. Yeah.
The guys at our foursome all thought how awkward it was. Yeah, that you had your wiener. No, they were like, hey, dude, we get it. You, they said, are a gazer. All right. Oh, man. You're a pincher. If I'm a gazer, you're a meat gazer. He's like a baker. You thought, how can I steal that luxury meat? Oh, boy. Oh, wow. How can I what? Still. How can I steal that luxury meat? He's saying that that's what you were thinking? Yes. Huh. Okay. Are we going to do our white Santa thing? What's white elephant? White elephant. Wow, you racist. Yeah. Yeah. We only do white Santa in here. You don't even like your own kind Mexican Santa? Preach for the sky, hungry. It's not called white Santa? White elephant. White elephant. White elephant. Whatever. Gosh. Okay. Yeah, we're going to do that. Are we going to do that? What? What, LLB? Why are you so... It's such a waste of money. Come on. Oh, God. You killjoy. She is such a killjoy. I'll do it. Guess what I use every single day? My white elephant gift last year that Woods didn't want. What was it? And I took it back. What is it? Dryer balls. Dryer balls. That's right.
It's like fabric softener without using, or dryer sheets without using a sheet over and over again. We shouldn't do that bit. You guys, anybody in here do like the office thing? And how do you do it? What's the best way? Anybody do that? No? What elephant? We do it. Yeah. I just don't participate. Oh, come on. HB, come on. Why? Up to the microphone. She's HB, that's why. Come on. I don't. Why? Well, the ones that always get taken are the wine. So I might do that this year, but it's just a waste of money. Isn't it fun? It's fun. They take two hours out of my day. Ours doesn't take two hours, though. Ours takes 15 minutes at the most. They take two hours for us, and I've got work to do. I'm too busy. Look at her. I get irritated. This is why I have my nickname. Yeah, her nickname is HB. It stands for Hostile B. I'm with you. It's so crazy because she's so sweet. You'll meet her, and she's the sweetest. She's an angel. When there's work to be done, get out of the way. Is all this paperwork driving me nuts right now? All this right here? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you and Jay. Jay comes in here, and what did he do yesterday? Fork. Yeah, fork. Mike's fork. He had a fork there, and Jay freaky goes, oh. He holds it up. He goes, hey. A greasy, greasy fork. What's a greasy fork? Unused. It was not unused. You've been woofing down. Unused. What's woofing? What's woofing?
You were woofing down your food with it. It was greasy. Unused. What did you have for breakfast yesterday? Benny Hanna? Benny Hanna all over it. Holds it up like a dad. And he goes, is anybody done with this? That's true. And what was your response? Jay, he goes, you don't have to clean. I'm like, well, who's going to do it? The cleaning people. I'm like, yeah, the cleaning people want to come through here. That's unbelievable. And clean up your job. Like, you do have a couple, like, you've got a couple. pockets and corners in the studio that if you don't want to see something, you just throw it there. Yeah, it's true. Look at this. If you look back here, you see how all that stuff is just thrown back there? That's after I've organized it, by the way. Because I'll come in and I'll go, what is this? I don't know. And I'll just toss it back there. And I do the same thing at home. How about your crazy potato chip thing you do? What's a potato chip? You take a bag of potato chips. I don't know what a potato chip is. You take it, you dump it on the counter. Potato chips and crumbs everywhere. And you're like. And then you walk away and there's crumbs everywhere. It's been my bit the last week. That has been my bit the last week. Well, it's like we're all your wives. This is what. Sister wives. This is what happens. Sister and brother wives. This is what happens in so many houses across San Diego. Yeah. Well, when we first started working together. And you can think about this wherever you work.
the common kitchen space at a workplace. You know, they have, does your work have a, does your office have like a place where there's a fridge, like a break room or whatever? Yeah, fridge gets cleaned out every month because I organize that. Yeah. Yes. She's the organized lady. I'm the organized guy. Oh, yes, he is. Oh, yes, he is. He has to be because I tried to and Woods and I almost got in the blows. I thought. And he almost got in a fight. I thought Woods and L.O.B. were going to kill each other the first month they worked together. And it's that way at work. Do you have somebody at work, H.B., who just drives you nuts because they're the constant, you know, you don't have to say who. Just say yes. H.B., do you have anyone at work that doesn't drive you nuts? This is probably a better question. He doesn't live here anymore. Oh, okay. But Jay used to get after Woods and L.O.B. used to get after Woods. And he finally... I remember the day. I remember the day. It was off the air. He finally snapped. He was like, get! Everybody leave me alone! I think I dropped a leave me the F alone. And he did because we were playing a game where we were shooting BB guns.
And the BBs were flying all over the carpet. So we started to pick them up. And there were two bins. There was a trash can and a recycling. And I had already spent all months trying to train him on what gets recycled. That's right. And he started throwing the BBs into the recycling bin. And I was like, what? Oof. You're going to contaminate the whole batch. I thought that L.O.B. had taken his car apart and thrown the pieces into the ocean. I had hit my limit on that one. That was the one. She has not said a word to me since. I'll let Jay handle it. Make some noise in our live studio audience. It's our girl's birthday today. L.O.B.'s birthday. When we get back, we got some good stuff for you. I still have not played the Rick Perry audio that I have for you because he screwed up the other day.
and didn't realize that the legal age for voting is 18. He called it 21 and is now making jokes about it. We have some of that. Hang on. Show coming up in minutes. If you quit, it's going to follow you for the rest of your life. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Hey, Rip Van Bighten. Shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. And? Call 570-1949. What a wonderful day it is for him. What a wonderful day it is for all of us. This is The Mikey Show. The little mushroom people of Nova Scotia screaming with horror. On FM 94.9. Only one day to go. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Presented by Coors Light. Tomorrow night on the University of San Diego campus. With My Morning Jacket. Wake it up! Featuring Two Door Cinema Club. Matt and Kim. Delta Spirit. And my heart is weak. And the Blackout Party. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus, or FM949SD.com. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optic. Join us tomorrow night for an epic evening of music with FM 94.9. Oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly.
We may not be able to lower the cost of gas, but we can do something about how many miles you will drive per gallon. Stop by your local O'Reilly Auto Parts store today and let us help you increase the performance of your car or truck. Simple things like replacing your air filter, changing worn-out spark plugs, and using fuel injector cleaner can add up to better fuel economy and big savings. There's an O'Reilly Auto Parts store close to you that has the name brands, low prices, and people who can help. Restore lost fuel economy and eliminate rough idle with Lucas Fuel Injector Cleaner on sale for $4.99 at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Lucas Fuel Injector Cleaner quickly cleans clogged injectors to increase fuel efficiency and help your vehicle run smooth. Lucas Fuel Injector Cleaner $4.99 at O'Reilly Auto Parts. I'm holiday shopping at Verizon and tell the sales girl they've made their list. I've checked it twice. I need three smartphones. And she says, try the 4G LTE Samsung Stratosphere. It's only $99.99 after $50 mail-in rebate debit card. So I say, 4G? Huh. But in my head, I'm thinking...
Then I say, my kids go through lots of data. And she goes, right now, you can double their data for the same price when you get them a 4G LTE smartphone. And now, I'm all... Give the technology they love on the network they deserve. And for a limited time, double your data without paying a penny more when you buy a new 4G LTE smartphone. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash holiday, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Requires new two-year activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Double your data applies to new activations or upgrades, and data packs two gigabytes or higher. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com. Tis the season for wish lists, and this year your TV has one too. So give it the gift it really wants. Cox Advanced TV. It has all the latest features, like TV Online and Whole Home DVR. And right now you get the whole package for just $34.99 a month for three months. Enjoy features like TV Online. Watch your favorite TV shows and movies online anywhere free. And Whole Home DVR. Record your shows in one room and watch them from anywhere in the house. You can even pause your recorded show in one room and start watching it again from another.
Enjoy it all right now for just $34.99 a month for three months. Order today and get Showtime free for three months. To order, visit Cox.com today. This holiday season, wrap up the savings that every TV wants. Advanced TV from Cox. Limited time offer. After three months, regular rates apply. Excludes required equipment rental, taxes, and other fees. Other restrictions apply. Courage to call. This is Ron. How can I help? Hi, I just got back from Iraq. My wife and I were looking for work, and we need help with the kids. Courage to Call is a local veteran-run program helping veterans, friends, and family with jobs, child care, addiction, and stress. It's free and confidential. Well, good. I hope this was helpful for you. To speak to a veteran, call our 24-7 helpline at 211 or go to mhsinc.org slash courage to call. Sponsored by the County of San Diego Health and Human Services Agency. This is a reenactment of an actual call. Tis the season for large seedless holiday grapes, but you can't find them just anywhere unless you stop by Albertsons, where right now they're picked at peak freshness and piled high. Make your holiday fresh at Albertsons. Oh, I hate to get up in the morning. And now that's Mikey Show. Oh, yeah. Mikey. I'm in love with Woods. Yeah, that's it. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm a lyricist.
And Jay. Hey, I like the skateboard. On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. Hello, B, what time are you leaving? What time are you heading up to L.A. for your gig? We're going to go right away. Right away? As soon as I finish up some work here, got to try to beat the traffic. Yep. Go up to the hotel, maybe see what happens. Oh, wow. Look at you. You little minx. Wow, you little minx. I'm saying, like, will we get room service? Will we go out to eat? There you go. My God. She is a little minxy. No, she's 31, you know? What are you going to do? In your prime. That's what I'm saying. Woodsy's gig tonight, bootlegger? Yes, sir. From six to nine. Let's see. Woodsy, your boy, the KKK. Yep. That's me and Woodsy's new bit with each other. Yesterday I put your boy herpes and just texted it to him. I say your boy hemorrhoids, Mike. It's just random things. We'll just say awful stuff. We'll be like...
Your boy, Gaddafi. Whatever. Your boy, Sandusky. Yes. That was how I believe it started. That's where it started. No, but there are going to be KKK robes that are going into the Smithsonian Museum of African American History. Wild. Yeah, it's wild. Crazy. And apparently it's going to open in 2015. And one of the robes comes from the family of a writer who infiltrated. the KKK, and exposed the secrets. That's cool. And so that is going to be up on display very soon. Let's see. Woodsy, you are not going to do Christmas tree? I don't think so. We're going home, so we're going to go back to Texas for a while. And it just doesn't make any sense. What about a little small one? I don't care. Whatever she wants to do. My wife can do it. Ella B? I'm going to do a tree. You do? Yeah. What do you decorate it with? Oh, mine are boring. I have like a set of colored balls and white lights. What? And then ribbons. I'm not going to touch it. All the fun ornaments are at my parents' house. There are two types of trees. Festive, a lot of color, a lot of different stuff, and then very simple with like...
two colors and white lights. I call that the grown-up tree. That's the tree I like. That's your grown-up tree. I like the grown-up tree. You like the beautiful golden red ribbons and white lights. Like maybe two colors. That's it. That's it. No way. And white lights. You'd probably like mine, even though I don't like it. I picture Jay's as the one with, like, tinsel and popcorn. A dong. A dong, yeah. All the kids' ornaments they've made are on there. Yeah, well, I'm a good father, Mike. Multicolored lights. Yeah, Mike, I ain't a crap dad. We put them all on last night. Everything's all decorated. It looks real good. And you have a Christmas tree on your roof. I have a Christmas tree. Well, it's a light tree on the roof. I do, like, a 25-foot pole, and the lights string down from it. Guy's unbelievable. He's unbelievable. Last year when Santa Claus came in on the roof, he clipped one of the wires and it was cut. That's the way you've got to be careful, man. What if you hurt Santa? Well, he knew what he was doing, apparently. Worked it out. You can't hurt Santa. Let's see. Speaking of Jay, apparently a couple of M1s, M1 Timmy, found a two-hour circus circuit with a flying trapeze. At the Del Mar Fairgrounds.
I've seen it. For Jay. You have? I have seen it. There's a batting cage in there that I used to take my Little Leaguers there to hit, and I'm supposed to be watching my Little Leaguers hit, and I'm watching these guys on trapezes the whole time. $49 for two hours. I'm in. Let's go. Let's go. I'm in. Well, it's apparently one of Jay's bucket list things. Check. He really wants to perform on a trapeze. Well, besides in my bedroom. He also wants to become a spear fisherman. Yep. And M1 Buzz is going to help you do that. He says he pretty much just survives on, he can survive on spear fishing alone. Oh, please call Buzz if you're listening. You know, that is something that I have not taken.
pay for it. I don't want anybody to give it to me for free, but if there's anybody... I love fishing, and it's something I never get to do. That's different. Go with fishing. No, no, no. Dude, I love it all. I love a boat. I love going to a river. I love going to a lake. I love going out on a boat. I love doing all of it. But you don't like the murky water. It's not murky. No, it can't be murky. You gotta get in the water. You have to be in that cold water. But you can see everything going on. But he doesn't like that. You have a big thick suit on. You're wearing a hood. I can't wait. It kind of creeps me out. Because I've done it. It's beautiful. Maybe there's a part, though, that's nice and clear. Oh, it's all clear. It is clear. It's not all like... Creature from the Black Lagoon. No, you wait until the water's got real good visibility. See, it was. And it's like, you can see 50 foot. I mean, it's just like, you know, perfect. I've done it. I've done it. About 50 feet. Can you see 50 feet? Yeah, it's horrible. About 50 foot. You can see 50 foot. Okay. Will you go with us? No. Why? Zero percent. If I'm in the water, I like to be on a surfboard and have a floating device in my hand or near me. Yeah. I don't like to be out there free. You have a spear in your hand. If a big...
Shark comes at you, bam, he's out of there. What if it gets me from behind? Well, it will. If a shark's going to get you, you're not going to see it coming. I am not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Ketner boy spill out all over the dock. That little Mikey boy spill out all over the dock. It would be possible. I think the shark has more to be scared of. Cholesterol, for one. Right through the roof. What have you been eating? Oh, my God. You're going to need a bigger boat. Oh, my God. Just to get Mikey out there. Oh, my God. Hey, bro. This is not the time or the place. That's all he's got. Autopsy on a fish. All right, so I told you we were going to give you some of this audio of Rick Perry. Rick Perry was joking about how he can't remember anything. Kourtney Kardashian's having another baby. Right, right. There's three of them, right? There's Kim, there's Kourtney. What's the other one? Chloe. It's just three names, Jay. It's not that hard to remember. So he did a bit with Leno last night, and that was part of it. But he did actually ask him about it and what he thinks about it. What happened in New Hampshire here? This is the most recent one. Take a look here. Those of you that are...
We'll be 21 by November the 12th. I ask for your support and your vote. Those of you who won't be, just work hard. Oh, God. You and I, we grew up in that 21 voting age. Right, right. I was thinking drinking age, maybe. I needed a cocktail. That's what I was thinking about. You got to have an excuse, right? So that's mine, and I'm sticking to it. All right. Well, where did the 12th come from? The 12th. November 12th. Voting on November 12th. Oh, did I say November 12th? Yeah. That'd be a light, light, wouldn't it? Yeah. Oh, wow. 2012. 2012. Don't you have some kind of connection to Rick Perry? Absolutely. Jamie, my wife, her sister, Lauren, worked for Rick Perry. And I mean, like, for him. And Jamie's dad was a football coach in Austin, Texas. And pretty famous. I mean, if you're a head football coach for that many years, you're kind of a stud.
And he passed away, and Rick Perry signed something into law. I don't even know. I wasn't there. But Jamie got to go to the governor's office and meet him and said he was a cool guy. Yeah, I just got a picture with him. Hey, we got Buzz on the line, by the way. We were talking about Buzz from Claremont. You there, Buzz? Yeah, right here. You're a spear fisherman. Yeah. I was born and raised in Papua New Guinea, and that's how they got a lot of their food was they'd just go down to the river and dive under rocks. Where do you do that? Where do you do it here in San Diego? Where? Oh, Wendon Sea is a great spot for it. It's just close enough to the cove where the fish actually all congregate in the cove because they know it's all guarded and protected. So if you go just down from the cove, like Wendon Sea area, that's a great spot to do it. How often do you do it? I try and go out once a week. Really? You wear a wetsuit at this time of year, right? Yeah, yeah, normally. And what's it look like? Does it look like a bow, like a crossbow or something? It's like Jay said. It's a Hawaiian sling. It's basically a giant piece of wood. Well, in this case, fiberglass with barbs at the end of it and then a giant rubber band at the end. You hook the giant rubber band around your thumb, pull it all the way forward, and then you let it go and try and hit a fish with it. Now.
Are you with a snorkel or what are you in there with? Normally it's a snorkel. I mean, sometimes go out with goggles because I'll forget my crap. Really? You'll do it sometimes without goggles? Yeah. How do you see? You open your eyes and... I go out with goggles, not without goggles. Okay, yeah. Without a snorkel. Okay, got it, got it, got it. Okay, and so how far under the water do you go to get these fish? I mean, if you find a good rock, the best ones are about like 10 feet down. So you go 10 feet and then you hook onto a rock and just try and keep yourself down as long as you can. That's awesome. And the more times you do it, the longer you can go. What's the deal? You just have to have a standard fishing license? Yeah, exactly. Dude, Jay, I'll do it with you. Let's do it. I'll do it. How about a fishing pole and a dock? No, that's awesome. And a cooler full of Coors Light. Hey, how big are these fish we're talking? Pack of cigarettes. They range. Last time me and my buddy went out, we saw a probably, we saw, I think it was two and a half foot white sea bass. And that was the biggest thing we've seen for a while. That's awesome. That's awesome. Let's go, Jay. Let's go. I'll do it. I'll do it. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. Thank you, Buck. We will be right back.
This fall, Warren Miller's Like There's No Tomorrow will bring you on a global tour of the perfect winter. Adjust your gear, take a deep breath, and shred, launch, spin, charge like there's no tomorrow. Join Warren Miller cinematographer Tom Day as he shoots his first 800-inch California winter and captures incredible powder turns laid down in Squaw Valley by Johnny Mosley, J.T. Holmes, Michelle Parker, and more. India, Chile, New Zealand, Norway, it's all here. So get out there and buy tickets like there's no tomorrow because tickets are on sale now. Check warrenmiller.com for details.
FM 94.9 welcomes Warren Miller's Like There's No Tomorrow to the San Diego area this week with screenings in La Jolla, Carlsbad, and Encinitas. Ticket holders get buy one, get one free lift ticket offers to Heavenly and Mountain High and $25 off at Sports Chalet. Get your tickets at ticketfly.com, select Sports Chalet stores, and at theater box offices. Check warrenmiller.com for more information. I'm thirsty. How thirsty? Really thirsty. When's the last time you looked in the fridge? I don't know. When was the last time I went shopping? Uh, like today. You should really check it out. And grab yourself a bottle of Arrowhead brand 100% Mountain Spring water while you're in there. Why is it snoring in our refrigerator? That was Grinchmas, and that's why we're drinking Arrowhead water. Why? Because every specially marked bottle of Arrowhead water lets you save $15 on general admission to Universal Studios Hollywood, where the whole family can play in real snow, see the celebrity tree lighting, and meet the Grinch and his dog, Max, too. Then I'm putting Arrowhead on my Grinchmas list. Save $15 on general admission to Universal Studios Hollywood when you bring a specially marked Arrowhead label to the front gate ticket booth.
Offer ends 430-12. Restrictions apply. Visit UniversalStudiosHollywood.com slash Arrowhead for full terms and conditions. Cricket presents Obvious Life Choices, where making a good choice is also an easy choice. Take Holiday Carolers. You can go with, is that the best you got? Or, that rocks a lot. And when it comes to wireless plans, will it be unlimited lameness? Or, Unlimited music. Starting at $55 a month, Cricket gives you nationwide talk, text, and data, plus unlimited music downloads from Move Music, all on the latest Android-powered smartphones like the ZTE Score. Now just $79.99 with no contract. The choice just makes itself, so score a great gift this season. Cricket, your call. Limited time offer requires new activation. See store for planned data usage and coverage details. Terms and conditions apply.
Hurry in today and you can get the ZTE score for just $79.99 this holiday. It's a great deal and an even better gift. Now at a cricket store. Cricket, your call. Courage to Call, this is Ron. How can I help? Hi, I just got back from Iraq. My wife and I were looking for work and we need help with the kids. Courage to Call is a local veteran-run program helping veterans, friends, and family with jobs, child care, addiction, and stress. It's free and confidential. Well, good. I hope this was helpful for you. To speak to a veteran, call our 24-7 helpline at 211 or go to mhsinc.org slash courage to call. Sponsored by the County of San Diego Health and Human Services Agency. This is a reenactment of an actual call. Ride Style. It's about true friends and family coming together 19 years ago to create an iconic snow brand. Sure, the ride team has ridiculous fun, but along the way, they create some of the best gear on the mountain. At Sportulet, we appreciate that dedication to fun and innovation. And that's why you'll find ride snowboards, bindings, boots, and outerwear at Sportulet. Stop by and let our experts show you what Ride Style is all about. For the holidays, you don't put out your everyday china. You take out the wedding china.
And you prepare all your treasured holiday foods. Because the holidays are no time to compromise. Which is why on more and more tables across America, you'll find Boar's Head Sweet Slice Ham. Sweet Slice has become a holiday tradition. Because ordinary ham has no place at the holiday table. And there's simply no other holiday ham that offers anywhere near the quality and flavor of Sweet Slice. Sweet Slice is Boar's Head smoked bone-in ham without the bone. It's already cooked, so all you do is heat it up and carve. There's no trouble, there's no waste, just applause. From all of us at Boar's Head to all of our friends across this wonderful country of ours, we wish you the happiest of holidays. Boar's Head, compromise elsewhere. Now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. When you're fat, you're always feeling a cold breeze. Woods. The best movie ever made. Footloose. Lauren. I'm all hot and bothered. I am. And Jake. Look, I like to climb and I like to eat edamame, okay? On FM 94.9. So we got some new movies that are coming out this weekend. Let's see what we got. You can look forward to the following. I thought I just had it.
Gosh darn it. It's our boy. It's me. I did. And then it escaped me. I don't have it now. Oh boy. Gosh. So cool. I'm sure they'll be good. Whatever they are, but they're badass. Testimony goodbye. And we're out. Let's see. 570-1949. People can call in if they want. This is M1 Eddie from San Diego. Hi. Hi. It's actually M1 Apple Guy. Hi. And I just wanted to thank you guys. My girlfriend got me an anniversary present, and you guys all signed it. Oh, yeah. She called in earlier. She called in. Yeah, she did. Yeah, she did. And I wanted to say happy birthday to LOB. Thank you. There you go. We can't make it. We'd love to, but we got to hit up the summer nights tonight if anybody wants to know. So today and tomorrow at the Babylon Park.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, what do you do? You go out there, they show movies or something? Well, all about ballpark is decked out with lights, there's shows, there's people caroling. That's cool. They have the Nutcracker, like a ballet show. They have food everywhere, Mikey. It's good for the family, man. Yeah, it is. Woods is like all, you know. I don't have a family. Let's have a wife. Oh, gosh. I don't have a family. That sounds fun. It is, man. You get some friends together. I can't take the kids. I don't have kids, bro. Get some friends together. Oh, my God. How many times do you get a rubbing in? I know you got three. I have none. Gosh darn, dude. I'll go as your kid since I don't have a husband. Put her in a baby. You're going out of town. Go out there. Gosh darn, no kids, man. Too late. It sounds like a good time. Yeah, it is. I love ballets. Thank you guys. You're such a jerk. Have a good weekend. Thank you very much. Happy birthday, buddy. Thank you very much. Ever been to a ballet, Mike? No. Okay.
He's been in one. Yes. Totally different. My grandmother took me to the Nutcracker one. I wanted to hang myself with dental floss. I would never. But I was like 12 years old. I'm like... Never again. Tim and Eric's awesome show, Great Job, is coming to the big screen. Yes. And Will Ferrell is going to be funding it. It's called Billion Dollar Movie. That's the name of it. And Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim are Tim and Eric. They're directing it. And Zach Galifianakis is going to be in it. Will Ferrell will be in it.
John C. Reilly will be in it. Oh, man. The greatest. And, yeah. So if you're a fan of the Mikey Show, you will love Tim and Eric. Awesome show. Great job. It's a weird show, but it's funny. All right. So let's go around the room. What do you got going on this weekend? Officially, let's get your plugs. I will be at the Hollywood Improv tonight, and I can get you in for free if you give me your name at lauren at mikeyshow.com before 3 o'clock. Very nice. And Woodsy? I will be at Bootlegger, which is 804 Market Street, playing a gig with an old, old friend of mine from my 7th or 11th grade band, Gypsy Rose. And it starts at 6, and will go until 9 or whenever, and it's free. And I'll be supporting the radio station at the Hootenanny. which is tomorrow night. Wait a minute, though. You said that the last time we had a station event, and you were the only one that didn't go. Yeah, Matthew Sweet played, and you said you were going, but you never were. Yeah, I ended up having to help my wife because she was having some... We heard you were mountain biking. Yeah, you were mountain biking. I was sick. Oh, that's one. So I'll be at the Hootenanny, so tickets are still available. Get them while they last. You guys have fun doing whatever you're doing. I'll be there tomorrow, but I was talking about tonight. Yes, and I'll be enjoying a time with my wife because it's her birthday tomorrow.
We're going to be enjoying a little staycation. End of the show on Friday, I give you my story, my testimony. And my story is that when I was a kid, I was sexually abused. And the reason that I tell you the story, which, by the way, never gets easier. The reason that I tell you the story is because I know that there's a lot of people that are listening right now that can relate to the story. Now, it isn't a wine session. It isn't so that I can go on. And whine about the fact that that happened. It's just that it's happened to a lot of us. And what it created in me was I never felt safe. Never felt safe. And I also felt ugly all growing up. Created a very, very big sense of low self-esteem. By the time I got into my 20s, I was drinking a lot. And pretty much did every drug you could think of.
By the time I was in my early 30s, I was completely addicted to alcohol. If I didn't, I'd have the shakes. And I was at my lowest point ever. The greatest gift that my father's ever given to me was telling me that he wouldn't have a relationship with me as long as I drank. And at first I was mad. And then after a little while, it just kept gnawing away at me. It was gnawing away at me. And I knew that there was a problem. So sometime early in 2003, I asked Jesus Christ to come into my life. I didn't know him, but I wanted to know him. More than wanting to know him, I needed him. Really bad. There are some that hear me tell my story. I don't want anybody to be confused. I'm not trying to force anything on you or shove anything down your throat. I'm just telling you what my life was and what it became. It wasn't a...
ticket to good times. In fact, I will say that since I did that, I faced some of the hardest challenges in my entire life. But what I can tell you is that he's been there through all of it. So if you are listening and you feel alone or you're suffering from any of those things that I talked about, addiction, depression, any of those things, go to mikeyshow.com. And at the very top of the page, There's a word that says help. And if you feel like I'm talking to you right now, just directly to you, you can be helped. There's resources that either cost you money or don't cost you money. And I just tell you what happened in my life. At the end of the show, we play a song that hopefully will provide for you a sense of hope. Or maybe it'll resonate with you because it's right where you are right now. It's a song from Red.
And it's called Not Alone. See you again on Monday. Mikey shows up. Later.