The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 12/05/11
Monday, December 5, 2011
fantasy relationshipsholiday musicpolitical scandalsocial media backlashnovelty musicmedical fraudcomedy improvisationsexual abuse allegationsmikey showherman cainlob improvchewbacca silent night
The show opened with Mike recounting his youthful fantasy about a board operator and likening her to Tattoo from Fantasy Island (P0). After a two‑week absence, Mike returned and played the embarrassing Santa Baby clip of L.O.B. while discussing the possibility of booking Herman Cain (P3‑P4). The program then covered the fallout from Cain’s campaign, including a fiery Facebook post from a woman in his organization (P7) and a bizarre Chewbacca‑singing‑Silent‑Night bit (P12), before moving on to a shocking exposé of a fake doctor who injected cement, tire sealant and mineral oil into patients’ faces (P23), L.O.B.’s Improv story with Craig Robinson (P32), and concluded with a tense Jerry Sandusky interview in which he denied the accusations (P82).
What happened, in order
Mike's Fantasy Island
Mike shares his teenage fantasy about a board operator he admired and compares her to Tattoo from Fantasy Island.
Santa Baby Return
Mike welcomes back Connor and plays the embarrassing Santa Baby clip of L.O.B. that they use to tease her.
Herman Cain Suspends Campaign
Herman Cain announces he is suspending his presidential campaign after allegations of a 13‑year affair.
Facebook Fury
A woman from Herman Cain's organization posts an angry Facebook rant blaming the media for the scandal.
Chewbacca Silent Night
Mike plays a clip of Chewbacca singing Silent Night, dubbing it a Lauren O'Brien Wookiee.
Cement Face Implants
Details emerge that the fake doctor used cement, tire sealant and mineral oil in patients’ faces during illegal plastic‑surgery procedures.
Improv with Craig Robinson
L.O.B. recounts her Improv show where Craig Robinson walked in, later found her on MySpace, and they exchanged friendly texts.
Jerry Sandusky Interview
Jerry Sandusky denies the allegations in a New York Times interview, insisting he is not attracted to boys.
People mentioned
MikeWoodsyLauren O'BrienJayNicoleConnorHerman CainCraig RobinsonJerry SanduskyJoe PaternoNorvis TurnerA.J. SmithVincent JacksonBill Cowher
37,249 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Let's do this. Come on, M1 Nation. The best fans in all of radio. The show consists of myself. I'm Mike. I'm 41. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 36. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L.O.B., is 31. She did a stand-up comedy show at the Improv in Hollywood on Friday night. Jay is our producer. He's 48 years of age. And our phone screener is Nicole, who is 19 years of age. Wow. Lucky. That's right. 19. 19. 19 was a bad time for me. It was a great time for you, Woods, because you were young, you were good looking. Skinny. Yep. And it was a bad time for me for the exact opposite reasons. I used to dream.
I was working at one of the first radio stations I ever worked at. I wasn't even allowed on the air yet. And there was a girl that used to work there that was a board operator. And in my mind, I would imagine, wow, that would be a girl that I would fantasy marry. But I can't ever really marry her. Right. I can't ever really marry her. And the reason I couldn't is because she was attractive. Right. So the only place that I would ever be able to marry a girl like that would be Fantasy Island. Yeah. Yeah. And you looked a little bit too much like Tattoo. Yes. At that time. Yes. Well, Tattoo, except for much heavier. Right. Same height, same color. Same height, same color. Same accent. Yeah, same accent. She stayed at about 300 pounds. Oh, gosh. I was taking care of that. 300? About 300. Because he was about 50, right? Soaking wet. Welcome to Monday morning. Yes. Wow. Right off the bat. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. There you are. Give us a call. 570-1949. Did you ever make a move? Woods.
I mean, one of your moves. Like, I don't know. Leave her a note or something. Write her a letter. Write her a letter. Make her a heart out of M&M's. No. Gosh darn. I mean, I was intimidated saying good morning each day. Right. I mean, intimidated. Just to say good morning was a big pull for me. 570-1949. Give us a call. Word of the day's algebra. So I'll say that sometime between now and 10 when I do Caller 9. We will allow you to go to the Holiday Bowl, which is going to be December 28th at Qualcomm. It's the Pac-12 versus the Big 12. Yeah, it's University of Texas Longhorns against the Cal Golden Bears. No, I need to write that down because right now it says Pac-12 versus Big 12, which is theoretically correct. Technically correct, but... It's better to say Texas versus who? Cal. Texas versus Cal. That's cool. That's a good game, man. Yeah, it will be. It will be. I think so. 570-1949 is the number if you want to call us. And you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. First up is M1 Screenwriter. He's calling from Hillcrest. Hillcrest. Screenwriter, are you there? I'm here. Hey. What's up?
I have been gone for two weeks. What did I miss? You missed a lot. Wow. You missed a lot. The Mikey Show was voted number one in the R factor while you were gone. You know, I assumed that. I knew that would happen. I'm still not married. L.O.B. is still not married. I still don't have a child yet. Yes. I could have asked both of those. L.O.B. did a show at the Improv. That's right. Santa Baby on. That's all I really wanted to know. Santa Baby back on. Oh, yeah. Santa Baby is back on the air. It's L.O.B. singing Santa Baby to her boyfriend, a little recording that we have of her doing that years and years ago that we play back to embarrass her. It's very embarrassing. It makes my Christmas. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. There you go. I missed you. I'm glad to be back. I'm glad you're back. Welcome back, Connor. Thank you. There's L.O.B. Singing Santa Baby. Framing that tree real good. I hate that clip. Is that the worst one? LLB, is that the one you hate the most? It's so... Perverted. Creepy. Terrible. Disgusting. Santa Cutie. All right, maybe that's my favorite. So on Friday, it was a very big possibility that we would have Herman Cain on the show. And the reason was because I used to date the...
one of the girls that's in his organization. But we did not, and the reason now is very clear. He was talking to his wife face-to-face for the first time to talk about the allegations that had been made against him. You know, that he had been in a 13-year affair with a woman. And kind of conventional wisdom was telling us that there may be more women that come forward. So on Saturday, this happened. Becoming president was plan A. And before you get discouraged, today I want to describe plan B. So as of... Four people. Yes. No. Today, with a lot of prayer and soul searching, I am suspending my presidential campaign. Whoa, no. Well...
He's at Starbucks, by the way. That's what it sounds like. At noon. What did they think plan B was going to be? What is plan? He said plan A was to become president. Yeah. What's plan B? Vice president. Go back to the drawing board. Yes. That's what I'm going to do. Plan B is the drawing board. Back to the pizza. Yeah, that's right. Okay, so here he is quoting Pokemon. Okay. And that is apparently a true story. Let me leave you with this. When I believe these words came from... The Pokemon movie. The media pointed that out. I'm not sure who the original author is. So don't go write an article about the poem. But it says a lot about where I am, where I am with my wife and my family and where we are as a nation. Life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible.
Very true. It's never easy when there's so much on the line. But you and I can make a difference. There's a mission just for you and me. Just look inside and you will find just what you can do. Way too long to catch on. Yeah. Yes, it's very long. I'd like to quote my favorite movie. Ernest Goes to Jail. Yeah. When I say that. And I'm going to give you the entire first half of Ernest Goes to Jail. Can't put that on a t-shirt. Pokemon, huh? It's the best you got. Yeah, it takes too long. Yeah, well, maybe you get something from, I don't know, Thomas Jefferson or Ben Franklin or somebody. Maybe not Pokemon.
Now, the gal that I was telling you about that I used to go out with was in his organization. I was curious what she was going to say on Facebook. And she was very upset. Very upset. Really? And used expletives. Oh, the old expletive on Facebook. Yes. Directed at him or just about the situation? Directed at the media. Ah. It was their fault. Yikes. And she said, and if anybody replies to this with a negative comment, you will be blocked. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. And you will be verbally chastised. Oh. You can't just throw out preemptive stuff like that if you're going to be very, you know, very nasty on Facebook. Noises! Well, she did. I mean, she just flat out put it out there. I'm like, I ain't saying a word. Not a word. I ain't saying a word. I ain't responding to that. But apparently a couple people. Well, there's always that guy. Yeah, yeah. He's like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Waiting for it all weekend. Shut up. Shut up. Stop. Move forward. I know, right? But they did it. And she banned him. Oh, yikes. I don't know the way that you are.
What are they going to do now? I know. Yeah. My wife said, why didn't she just give it up? I said, because you can't. You've got to save face. You've been fighting for Herman Cain. You've been fighting for Herman Cain the whole time. So what are you going to do? You've got to save face. Norvis Turner, as Woods is fond of calling him. Norvis Turner. What do you know, Woods? Well, it was an exciting weekend. I got several text messages and saw some Facebook updates. Did a little digging this morning and found that there are some reports. I got this from thesportingnews.com, but apparently it was broken in the San Diego Union-Tribune. Sources close to the team say he is gone, he being North Turner, at the end of the year. Hit the bricks, pal, and beat it because you are going out. 100%. A.J. Smith, they said before it was about 50-50. Now it's 75-25 that he's probably out the door with Norvis. A whole new regime will be coming in here. And Chargers president Dean Spanos believes he has, quote, no choice but to dismiss Turner at the end of the season. Well, I believe that A.J. is a good GM. I really do. I think that there must be a lot of things behind the scenes that we don't know about. But one thing I can say about A.J. is I believe that he.
is a great talent evaluator. Is he? Dude. Larry English, Clay Matthews. Well, wait a minute. Troy Polamalu. Okay, but what about LaDainian Tomlinson? He made a lot of great moves as well. Antonio Gates. He's really good with the undrafted guys. He finds that gem. He found some guys that were pretty good outside of that as well. I mean, he drafted Marcus McNeil. He drafted... I can't start because then I'm going to do that. Antonio Cromartie, when he first came out, was incredible. Yeah, 10 picks his rookie year. You know what I mean? So there was a lot of great talent evaluation on his part, but I guess there was a lot of behind the scenes. The worst thing he did was, I guess, the Norv Turner thing. Well, and the tough thing about AJ, too, is that he takes that hardline stance. Yes. And, you know, last year we didn't have Vincent Jackson for the first 10 games because...
You know, AJ was, it was a, you know, contest. Who's his bigger? Mine are yours. And by the way, Vincent Jackson was a little-known receiver that he found out in Northern Colorado University. So he's, I do believe that he's good at that. You know, but, oh, well. The deal is, is that. He's a tough guy, though. Oh, yeah, he's very tough. Agents don't like working with him. No, no. And that's kind of a problem sometimes. You can't be a pushover, but you can't be. So firm. And what they're saying now is that now I heard this yesterday. I was sitting in the dugout talking to some of my buddies I play baseball with. And they're like, listen, one guy said I saw an interview with Bill Coward. He said he's interested in San Diego. What? And I said, I got to find this interview. No, I saw it. And I said, I got to see it. I got to see it. Send it to me. And he hasn't sent it to me yet. Don't even put that out there, would he? No, but he's a clown that's on your baseball team. But he is a name that everyone is talking about. Yes, but he's a name. Of course he is. Maybe he's interested. Because some dude in your baseball said it in a dugout.
Come on, now we're starting rumors about Bill Cowher. Bill Cowher said unequivocally that he would not go to a West Coast team because he wants to be close to home. We shall see, my friend. If your friend got that from any place that's credible, I am excited. But to me... We shall see. It'd be awesome. It'd be awesome. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of names out there. Yeah, there's John Gruden. There's Bill Cowher. There's a lot of coaches that don't have jobs right now that would be great fits here. Yeah. He would be the first choice. Oh, by far. I mean, it's like, what a carrot you're dangling. That's a nice carrot to dangle. You know, that's the fun part about sports. Why don't I just throw any name out there then? Jimmy Johnson. He's not going to leave the broadcast booth. Cower wants to coach again, and Cower would be a great fit here. He's also on the record saying he won't do it out here. That was a while ago, though. He's got grandkids and the whole bit back east. Yes, and that's why he had said that. Whatever friend of yours said that, I want to know his source. When you asked, what did he say? He said he saw an interview. On what? On TV, on television, like a pregame show or something. He said, out of all the openings out there, this one's the most attractive. Really? Yeah. It's plausible. I mean, it's totally plausible. People change their minds. Yeah. It'd be rad to have him here. And he also said that if he did come somewhere, he'd want to bring his own guys with him. In this...
Fictitious, dugout conversation. I mean, real dugout conversation, but situation. Yes. All right. That would be incredible. It would be, but it's not nearly as incredible as Chewbacca singing Silent Night, which I now present to you on The Mikey Show. Here you go, ladies and gentlemen. R2, what do you think of that? I appreciate that. Whoa. Oh. Oh, R2's sad. What's that? Oh, buddy, I am so sorry. Cheer up. There you go. That's a R2 I know and love. 570-1949 is the number. That's a Wookiee that I've never heard before. That's right. That's a different kind of Wookiee. That's what you call a Lauren O'Brien Wookiee. That's correct. That's right. Me here again. That is absolutely fantastic.
I don't know. And when Working Progress from Fallbrook is on the line, hi. Hi, Mikey. What's going on? What's going on, guys? Oh, I just wanted to say thanks to all the, from all the Bronco fans, all the Raider fans, for giving us first place yesterday. How dare you? Oh, wow. How dare? How dare you? How dare you? Raiders got smoked yesterday. Wow. Funny! Listen, listen. When a person is down, you don't just walk up and kick them, do you? That's right. You're not supposed to do that. My position can't afford to be made to look ridiculous. Three years of just awfulness. I'm taking what I can get right now. You got the Tebow magic, man. It worked again yesterday. Well, it was more defense yesterday. Hey, 14 points in the fourth quarter. Actually, 28 points in the second half. Wow. Pretty solid. Pretty solid.
I think it'll happen tonight, Woods. Is there any chance? I know, but is there any chance the Chargers won't lose this game? They cannot lose seven in a row. They won't lose to Jacksonville, will they? They can't. They won't. They won't, will they? Well, they're three and eight. Chargers are four and seven. Jacksonville is three and eight. On the road? On the road. Just playing poorly. Rumors flying around, you know, like. My goodness. It's very plausible they lose tonight. Very plausible. But Jacksonville just lost their coach, right? Yeah, and they just lost their coach. It's very plausible they lose. Geezer Bandit struck again, this time in San Luis Obispo to Bank of America. It happened Friday night, about 5.30, and FBI says that he came in there, demanded the money be put into a plastic bag, pointed a pistol at the teller, and... Kind of made a mistake this time, though. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. He's getting sloppy. Dye pack exploded. He got 30 feet away from the front of the bank, and it blew up. And people say that he got into a white Beamer. It was a 5 Series. And took off from the parking lot. And took off from the parking lot. And got away. So last time, by the way, just so you know, Vaughn's Grocery Store.
right here in La Jolla, September 30th. So the geezer bandit may be slipping up a little bit. He's getting sloppy. He's getting a little sloppy. What happens when that dye pack explodes? Is it just filled with a car full of... It covers the money and everything. It covers the money so you can't use the money and it gets on you and it ain't easy to get off. Yeah. Gotta be able to separate that dye pack, man. Have you ever seen Point Break? Yeah. You gotta be able to do it. Well... You know what's interesting to me is how come that hasn't happened yet? I know. He probably knew. He's probably easily recognizable, and the real good ones, they get rid of him. They knew what to get rid of. Yep. And this time he was sloppy, didn't. Yeah, I bet all that take is, you know, he can't use it. Nobody believes this is actually an old person, do they? No. Right? I would like to see if he ran or walked when that dye pack went. Oh, man. It's got to be a really awesome special effects. Yeah. Makeup. A mask. A mask. Got to make a movie about this guy. I bet you they do. Yeah. Once they catch him. Yeah. I bet once they catch him, they will make a movie about it. 570-1949 is our phone number. And check this out. Have you heard about this?
doctor that was doing plastic surgeries inside of her house. Now, I understand. The people that fell for it are like, okay, in hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have done plastic surgery in somebody's house. Right. But wait till I tell you what kind of stuff this person was doing in terms of plastic surgery. Like, you will trip out. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's plastic. Excellent. or text at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9.
Laminate it. Find it. Mail it. Dun, dun, dun. Why drive all over town this holiday season or get locked into one choice for shipping? Wrap it up with one stop at your neighborhood Postal Annex. Save gas. Save time. Save money. Mail the cards. Pack the presents. Ship the gifts. I'm all done. Postal Annex. The sound of business. Compare FedEx, UPS, and postal rates for your best option. Postal Annex. This is Jack, founder of Jack in the Box. Let's take a call. Jack, I'm kind of seeing this guy, but he only calls me at like 2 a.m. and says, hey, come over, let's do something. Does he like seasoned curly fries? Yeah. That's a foodie call. Huh? A foodie call. You know, it's really late, you're craving something, so you and your friends hit up my drive-thru for tacos or real ice cream shakes. Ah, that's a relief. I thought it was like his booty call. His what? Booty call. Who needs boots at 2 a.m.?
If you like Jimmy, and if you like Willie, you're going to love Lucas Nelson and Promise of the Real, appearing live on behalf of Jobs for Autism, Saturday, December 10th, 8.30 p.m. at the North Park Theater, 2891 University Avenue. See this next legend of rock and roll? You'll be blown away. Tickets available online at jobsforautism.com. Be there this fall. Warren Miller's Like There's No Tomorrow will bring you on a global tour of the perfect winter. Adjust your gear, take a deep breath, and shred, launch, spin, charge, like there's no tomorrow. Join Warren Miller cinematographer Tom Day as he shoots his first 800-inch California winter and captures incredible powder turns laid down in Squaw Valley by Johnny Mosley, J.T. Holmes, Michelle Parker, and more. India, Chile, New Zealand, Norway, it's all here. So get out there and buy tickets like there's no tomorrow because tickets are on sale now. Check warrenmiller.com for details. FM 94.9 welcomes Warren Miller's like there's no tomorrow to Encinitas this week. Check it out at the La Paloma Theater on December 10th. Ticket holders get buy one, get one free lift ticket offers to Heavenly and Mountain High and $25 off at Sports Chalet. Get your tickets at ticketfly.com, select Sports Chalet stores and at theater box offices. Check warrenmiller.com for more information.
Shop REI and get the expert help you need to find the perfect gift for your outdoor adventurer. And now enjoy free shipping with no minimum through December. REI. Find out. This report is brought to you by AccountTemps, providing clients with cost-effective staffing solutions to their peak accounting and finance workload needs. Call or visit them at AccountTemps.com, an equal opportunity employer. Some backup here. It's starting to get slow. I'm seeing different spots all over this morning. Let's start you off right here on the 8 eastbound from Texas Street, Qualcomm Way down to about the 15 northbound, 21 miles an hour. Also, as you travel through all the way up in towards Lemon Grove, the 94 eastbound starting to be delayed from Euclid Avenue to College Grove Way. It's about 30 miles an hour. Another tough stretch here is on the 125 southbound. You've got some delays at Lemon Avenue. Also, the 54 westbound southbound. Expressway down to about Grand Avenue in the teens. This report brought to you by Allstate. Call Allstate now. Get a free lifetime membership in good hands. Roadside assistance. Get a quote. Get your first tow free. That's right. Free. Shop less. Get more. Make one call to an Allstate agent. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. What does it do, Jay? It makes it 3D. I wanted one of those avatars to be like, and like beat my face and go.
Woods. If 16-year-old girls are in on something, I'm out on it. Lauren. I'm very aggressive when it comes to lines. And Jay. If you want any, you'll be nice to me. Yes, ma'am. On FM 94.9. Algebra is the word of the day. I've never done algebra one day in my life. Yes, you have. No, I haven't. I never had it in high school. You have, you just don't know. You were a freshman at one time, right? Yeah, we didn't have algebra in freshman year. What did you have? Algebra came junior and senior year. And if you wanted to. You could put it off, and I did. Wow. I never took it. Loved algebra. I bet you had parts of it. You just didn't know it. Never did. You didn't do X minus four equals seven? Never. Come on. Never. L-O-B, Woods. 11. Jay, I'm looking at you guys now. I'm telling you, I didn't do it. Wow. Never did that stuff. You'd like it. It'd be good for your brain. I probably would. You do it every day. You just don't know you're doing it. That's right. That's the dumb thing.
None of us need algebra. No, we're all doing it every day. Are we? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But, I mean, you don't need trigonometry. You don't need half the stuff they give us. You don't need geometry. It's just good. Listen, it's a good, well-rounded human being to know that George Washington was our first president. It's a good, well-rounded human being. When are we actually going to use the information? Trivia games. Trivia. Trivia games about it. And now everybody's calling because they think I said it. You did say it. You said it like seven times. Well, fine. Then I'll give it. Happy birthday. I was laughing about it. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. 5701949. Fine. We'll give Caller 9 the word of the day. It's a good prize, man. It's a great prize. Cal versus Texas. Yep. In the Holiday Bowl. I've never seen a college football game. Yeah. I should go to it. All right. We got a winner of the word of the day.
Who is going to get to go? M1 Steve from San Diego. You there? Yeah. All right. So what was the word then? It was algebra. You're right. Yeah. You're right. You're right. You're right. You were listening. Hang on. You get to go see Cal take on Texas, okay? All right. All right. Hook them horns. Is that what they say? That's what they say. All right. So a fake doctor, and it was a woman, was giving fake butt implants, fake, you know, Chin implants, fake cheek implants. In her house. In her house. And Anderson Cooper apparently has his own show. And he was talking to this lady that did it. Yeah, I do still experience facial discomfort. Now, this is a transgendered lady. Former guy, now woman. Who went to the fake doctor.
Can you feel your face? Well, I do feel my face. I get like what you would call a chronic pain. It's like a nagging pain. Yes. So they're hard. They're hard nodules. I'm sure if you want to touch one, she probably. I'm sorry. They're like rock. Guess what it was, you guys. It was a mixture of cement, tire sealant and mineral oil. Blasted into her face. Again, sometimes this would happen in a hotel room. How is a great question. She says, you know, it would be common sense. I do realize that now. But in retrospect, it's one of those things that you want so bad to match the way that your outside feels with your inside that you're willing to roll the dice to take chances. No, you're not. You know what I say? This is bold. I say serves you right. Well, of course. You reap. You reap.
What you sow, man. Well, Woods has a point. Come on. I mean, dude. They're desperate. They're desperate. For plastic surgery? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Desperate, it means I'm hungry. Yeah, desperate means I don't have a roof over my head. I'm going to have to lift this $20 bill from this guy's wallet. If we're calling butt implants an act of desperation. They think injections are what's going to help them. Yeah. Because basically they were getting injections and this lady was injected. She was claiming to be a doctor. Well, I know she was. Where's your office? Where's your degree? I've been out of a hotel today. Yeah, okay. Oh, my God. So, I think Woods has a point. That ain't desperation. That's stupidity. These are lost souls. Lost souls. We do things out of desperation. Oh, yeah. I will give you that. Oh, yes. I will give you the lost soul thing. The doctor who was trying to remove these rocks from her face said it was breaking his scissors. They cut in and they're clipping and clipping and just couldn't get them out. They're still in there. You can't get them out. Oh, God. Rocks in your face. Why can't they get them out, I wonder? Because they've bonded with the skin. Oh, my God. So much blood and tissue loss. And they're still in there. Shut up. It's like she's got a mouthful of, like, acorns. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my God. What kind of a person? A messed up person. Yes. Puts cement in someone's face. I think they're both messed up people.
The putter and the getter are both messed up. I mean, definitely the getter, but kind of sadistic. Weirdo. I wonder where they found out about this person from. Is it in the green sheet? What's the green sheet? It's just like a little penny saver magazine that's free on the side of the grocery store. No, no, no, no. I don't think it was that. I don't think it was something like that. Word of mouth? Yeah. Word of mouth. Why would you recommend that? Yeah, you should go see my friend at her home. Hey, my mom used to take me to Mexico to get my braces. Yeah. And dude kept his tools in a sink. No joke. Oh, my God, Mike. Wow. No joke. Just run some hot water over him every now and then? Yeah. Oh. Why not? I mean, is there anything wrong with, you know, just... Getting braces. As long as you're cleaning it. It is a sink. Hot water and a sponge. Yeah, hot water. Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. Oh, my gosh. I feel weak. It's all currency. Yeah. Oh, grow up. We've all been there. Not all of us. Got mine done at an orthodontist right here in the good old U.S. of A. Oh, well. Fancy pants over here.
Mr. Fancy Pants. Oh, God. 570-1949. This is M1 Morgan from San Diego who used to work for a plastic surgeon. Are you there, Morgan? Morgan, can you... Yeah, go ahead. Hi, my name's Gloria, but you can call me Morgan if you want. Go ahead, Gloria. Hi. I did used to work for a plastic surgeon a few years ago in the OR, but I also worked in an AIDS clinic, and we used to have... patients that would fly from California to Florida to some back alley clinic to meet up with a woman from South America to get a product injected into their face and they didn't know what it was to fill out the sinking signs from wasting away. And they would pay a fortune to fly to Florida. They'd meet in some
like, motel room and meet some woman from, I don't even think she was a doctor. Well, yeah, I mean, that's not smart. Yeah. That is not smart. It's sad. I mean, there's no doubt about it. That's sad, but, I mean, it ain't smart. Nope. You know what I mean? Yeah, it happens more frequently than you would think. This woman just happened to get caught, and it went on national news. Oh, my gosh. Crazy. Help me, Oprah Winifrey. It's crazy. It is crazy. Thank you for the call. You're welcome. Hey, here's some uplifting news. Cyber Monday was a huge success. Nice. Huge success. We spent, and by we, I mean just the four of us here in this room. Americans spent $18.7 billion. $18.7 billion.
Last week. It means we were 15% up from last year. That's a big jump. Heck yeah, dude. I mean, I think that means that we're on the upswing. I hope so. The economy's got to be on the upswing. Or we're just way more in debt. Or willing to put ourselves in more debt. Nope. Can't resist a deal. That's what it is. Well, the deals were out there last year. We weren't doing it. I am going to be optimistic and say... Me too. That we are on the mend. I'll join you. Here we go. I am against. Cheers to it. I'm a pessimist. A realist. LOB is against optimism. She's wearing a t-shirt that says optimism with a circle and a line. She says, I love the recession. Yes. I retired both of those t-shirts. And my shirt says, I am a realist. She says, give up. Quit. Hey, check this out. M1 Matt from Bonzo. Are you there? Yeah, I am. You got.
A trippy story like this, right? Yeah. I was younger when it happened, but she got dental work done from somebody's house. Who did? My mom. Your mom? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. In somebody's house? Yeah. Why? Anything bad going down, or was it all okay? Well, she got referred by somebody else, a friend who had gotten dental work there done already. Yeah. Hey, go down to Bill's house. Yeah. I got a cap filled. He's pretty good. Well, it was regularly expensive dental work, and we didn't grow up in the best condition, so she took a hit for the team, and she actually ended up getting good dental work, though, done for cheap. I wouldn't recommend it, though. No. I had my wisdom tooth. pulled out by a guy like that. In a house? And it was in a house with a crazy chair and a light bulb. It was a weekend and I had been putting it off and it was so much pain. How old were you? Oh, I was an adult. I was probably 23, 24. And so it was a weekend and I knew these teeth had to come out and I went in there and it had wood paneling on the wall and a light bulb from the ceiling. How did you know him? How did you get hooked up? He was enlisted.
He was listed as, like, an emergency dental care. Oh, my gosh. So I go in there, and he had a full-on, like, you know, apron on, and he went in and just went, popped them both out real quick. How much did he charge you? It wasn't even on my insurance. $17. I swear it was, like, a couple hundred bucks. Are you surprised? No. At all? No. Not even a little bit. This is also the guy, Jay, that takes his own stitches out. Yes. Himself. And always has. Yeah. I don't believe it was an emergency situation. Nor do I. I believe the emergency situation was, I ain't paying what they want. No, no. It was an emergency because it was so much pain. I had to get it done. I went to a real dentist and had the other two removed probably a month later. And it hurt worse. Like they went in and did all this stuff and prep and all. But this guy just went in with like. It was like a pair of pliers. Just popped them. They were bouncing around in my mouth. He didn't even have a hole. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. My mom used to get her hair cut at some lady's house. It's a little different. Yes. That's all you got, L.O.B.? Come on. I had to go play with her weird son.
I don't even know. I don't even think I want to know. I don't even think I want to know. That's where L.O.B. learned to fist fight. He was a strange kid. Strange nerd hobby. Was he mustard kid? Yes. Mustard slash poop kid. Yeah. Smelled like poop and always had mustard on his face. Yeah. Your mother would drag you to this woman's home so she could get her hair cut. A permanent. I wasn't in school yet. Was he a good kisser? Ha, ha, ha. You can hear Nicole giggling from the next room. Through the soundproof glass. Through the soundproof glass it got her. Oh, my gosh. Hey, speaking of LOB, M1 Bird is on the line from San Diego. Are you there, Bird? Yeah, I'm here. Hey, you went and saw LOB perform at the Improv? I didn't go see her. I just wanted to know how it went. Oh, whoa, whoa.
LLB, how was your improv? It went well. Yeah. I was very nervous. I told Woods I was the most nervous thing I've ever been. Yeah. Because there was all these reports of all these famous people that were going to be showing up, like the Wayans brothers. And Craig Robinson actually walked in from the office. The dude from the office. Yeah. We had had him on. when he was promoting his movie Hot Tub Time Machine. Yeah. And then he later found me on MySpace. Yeah. Granted, this is two years ago. And he's like, hey, if you ever need anything, let me know. Gave me his number, whatever. Yeah, like a French kiss. It meant a French kiss or he wanted to make sex to you. But we've been this like once a month random text message thing going back and forth. Now, did you say text message or did you say sex message? Just text. Just text. I've showed Matt, like every, my boyfriend Matt. Every part of you. Everybody, we know that. We know that. Every text message I've had with Craig, I've been very open. It's been as professional. You're in an open relationship is what you're saying. A threesome. Okay, all right. Menage a trois. Keep it classy. Trinogenist. You're in a trinogenist relationship.
Yeah, it was pretty funny because I was texting him that I was on my way up. And he's like, all right, cool. I'm going to come check it out. And I was like, oh, cool. So he walked in and the place is like, everyone's like, oh, I'm seeing you. In the little meeting area. And I was like, hey. And I tapped him on the shoulder and he goes, hey, hey, hey. And looks over my head and walks right past me. Oh, my God. Are you kidding? Right past me. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Matt was next to me because Matt's like, your boy's here when he walked in. And everyone was like, and I was like, watch this. Like, I want to do it first. This is my buddy. Yeah. He had no idea. Craig-o. Had no idea. Craig-er. Hey, Craig-er. Craig-er. Craig-erini. He goes, hey, makes no eye contact, looks over my head, and walks past me. Oh, my gosh. Oh, boy. Oh, my gosh. It was pretty funny. Then I ran into him later. I went to get a glass of water, and he was pointing at me like there was some look of recognition. Are you the girl I text the dirty dongs to? He goes, I know you from, I go, from an hour ago when we were texting. Yeah. He goes, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He goes, happy birthday. And then. We don't make sex or what? Yeah. Then some girl came up and took a picture and I walked away. But, yeah, it actually went really well. Really well. I'm black.
Brilliant. There you go. I had to follow. There was a guy that showed up named Russell Peters who is a huge name comic. He's an Indian comic. Yeah. And he pretty much brought the house down, killed it, was awesome, and then got off stage and they're like, all right, you're up. Oh. Oh, man. Sign me up for that. Very tough act to follow, but it was fun. It was really fun. 570-1949 is our number. You can give us a call. About anything you want. Hey, let's play Name That Tune, speaking of. Yeah, let's do this. Jay, what is the prize that we will give away for Name That Tune? I'm going to give them the Madden NFL 12 for the Nintendo Wii. It's the perfect gift for kids and adults of all ages. All new authentic teams, runouts, real-life broadcast cameras, and more. There you go. So you get Madden 12. All you got to do is call us right now. 570-1949. What's the theme? All right, you guys. Oh, no. Be nice to me. Mine's out of batteries. What's the theme? The theme is sad scenes for movies. Is yours broke? It's out of batteries. Well. Maybe it was that time that you body slammed it. Yeah. Could have been the time you pounded on it like a hammer. Threw it across the room. I never threw it across the room. We have little buzzers. Mine's broken. Let me see if the female touch will help it. Could be.
And I forgot what he said. What did he just say? Sad movie. Sad movie. Perfect. Got it. M1 Super D from Santee. Who do you want to represent you in Name That Toon? Obviously Woods. You got it. Look at you. Hang on the line, please. Obviously Yit. Obviously Yit. We might have to go back to the old way. Oh, good. Woods' buzzer. The old way. It's going to be. Yeah. It's going to be. Bedlam. I would be able to find another unit because we have a bunch of them, but there's a corner in Mikey's office. It's just stacked high with Mikey's stuff he doesn't want to take home. To my stuff, I'm allowed to stack it. But I can't get to the equipment in there now. We'll go old school. M1 Sciences from Orange County. You've got a choice between me or LOB. Of course. It's a wise choice. It's a wise decision. M1 Mix from El Cajon. Are you there? Yes, I am, sir. All right, you've got me, but I might... Who knows? May I pull this one a victory out of my butt? Hang on. Hang on a second. You never know. Lightning sometimes, you know, strikes. A blind squirrel finds a nut. Thank you, Woodsy. A broken clock is right at least twice a day. Sun shines on a dog's ass sometimes. Five o'clock somewhere. That's right. All right, let's do it. Name is a buzzer. Name is a buzzer. Okay, here we go.
There's no hope for him now, Travis. He's suffering. You know we've got to do it. I know, Mama. Lauren. Lauren. Old Yeller? Yep. Oh, man. Damn. Sad movies, is it? Sad scenes. Sad scenes from movies. Yes. All right. Here we go. Quick. Let's take it. Mikey. Bambi. Nicely done. That is really good. New movies, I see. That movie made me ball when I was a little boy. Oh, yeah. Ball. Here we go. Mikey. Mikey. Charlotte's Web. Oh, my. Yeah. Dang it. Oh, I know now. Go home, Two Socks. Gosh, darn it. Lauren. Dances with Wolves. Yes. Nicely done. Gosh. Go home, Two Socks. Go home. Hey, maybe I leave when I want to leave. Don't tell me to go home. I'm a freaking wolf.
Leave when I want it. I will bite your ankles. I'll bite you. If you don't have it now, you're never going to get it. Oh, it sounds so... The dialogue is just fascinating. I remember this actor. Dialogue is fascinating. This is going to be a well-known movie. I can tell. It is. I would take a guess at it, but I don't want to lose a point. He's big. He's giant. Okay, Mikey. Woods. Go. Mikey. I think Mikey got it. What is it? Free Willy. Yeah. Woods. Different kind of big. Oh. The Princess Bride. This is stupid. I feel like I know, but I don't want to lose it. It was King Kong. The airplanes. Gosh. I thought that would give it to you. Dang it. Here's another tough one. Lauren. The Land Before Time. Yeah. I never got that.
I was wondering. What's your problem, Woods? Is it beneath you, these movies? Are they too dorky? Is that it? He's got this look on his face that says, I like girls. They're all with animals, too. Yeah, these are animals. Yeah, you're an animal lover. Come on, you're an animal lover? Gosh, you have a gorilla at your house? You own a King Kong? Yeah. You pet him? You feed him? Here we go. Mikey. Mikey. The champ. Lauren. Yeah. Come on, man. That's what it's called, isn't it? Lion King. S-O-B. No, it's L-O-B. The score is Mikey negative two, Lauren four, Woods negative one. Here we go. Get you home. Yeah, you're home. You'll be all right. You need some rest. Keep your hands on your face even soon. That's right. Yeah. Change it when it gets up. Tom Hanks. Just hold on now. Mikey. Mikey. Castaway.
What's up with the hens? Gosh, darn it. Cassie, what's up with the hens? What's up with the hens, Jack? You need him, trust me. Apparently, no one's going anywhere with this. There's a dog in it. Woods. Turner and Hooch. Hey, look at that. Hey, you got the clue the same time he did. Yeah, and I said my name, but stop giving hens. I got to. Here we go. More well-known movies. You're all right. Okay, you're all right. You're all right. Samantha. Samantha. Look at me, girl. Hey. You're okay. You're okay. Samantha. Just gotta get you home. Gotta get you. Mikey. Mikey. It's Marley and me. No. Yes. Oh, gosh. This is good. Negative four, Mike. I give up. It's good. And when I say I give up, I mean on life. I mean, come on. These are all animals. These are all animals. All animals? Starring Will Smith.
Woods. I am legend? Yes. Give more hints. You're a clown. There's a couple in here that don't have animals. Most have animals. Here we go. I'm lead. I got my best girl, Maya. This is Shorty. All brawn and no brain. But we love them. Woods. It's the Snow Dogs movie with Paul Walker. It is called Eight Below. There you go. The movie gets you, right, Woods? You said that movie gets you. Oh, dude. Eight Below. Tears you up. It looks like you're tearing up now. I don't tear up. You might not make it. I weep. I weep. What's he just at the thought of it? Here we go. It was Mikey. Come on. Free Willy. Gosh, Mike. Yeah. Come on. There's no animal in this movie. Get a break. Keep swimming. Come on. Get on it. Lauren. Lauren. Nice. Wow, nice.
One more. I just said right before, there's no animals in this one. I thought that was animals. One more. What's the score, LLB? The score is Mikey negative five, Lauren five, Woods two. So you're saying I got a chance. Yeah, so this is a four-pointer. Oh, boy. You're a clown. Here we go. When you sign your name, you'll own my house. I only ask that you never try to contact me for any reason. Oh, I know it. I know it. Take it. Mikey. Mikey. It's the Will Smith movie that his son was in, and he and the thing, and it's got the number seven in it. I don't know. Woods? Woods. The Pursuit of Happiness. Yes. Damn it! All right. Maybe not. That's me. Seven pounds. I was going to say seven pounds, but I didn't want to lose it. Is that it? That's it. Gosh darn it. Who won? LLB did. Gosh darn. I...
You guessed a lot. You did guess a lot. You guessed a lot. You got to swing, man. Yeah, you go down swinging. You got to swing. Boy, you went down swinging. You're a swinger, all right. All right, fine. M1 Sciences, guess what? I win. That's right, you do. He's a big winner. LLB knocked it out of the park for you. She slayed it. That's right. She brought it home. There's a viral video out there right now. of a chick that won a $100,000 scholarship because of Dr. Pepper. And she's really, really happy, which is great. It's awesome. But I guarantee you, we are going to want to save this clip of her for the rest of time. Decades. It's next. Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now.
570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Safe and sound. Two words often taken for granted. Yet today in the world of banking, they are more vital than ever. Welcome to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union. It is not just how we treat your money. It is how we treat you. Safe and sound. Because you wouldn't expect anything less. Mission Federal Credit Union. Our personal service will impress you. Our products will inspire you with great rates on home loans and car loans. 22 local branches access to 28,000 fee-free ATMs. Plus, no monthly fees for debit card use. A sound, stable, satisfying banking experience. Mission Federal Credit Union. Safe and sound. Open a new account today. Stop by any of our local branches or go to missionfed.com. Mission Federal Credit Union. Your success is our bottom line.
All accounts and loans are subject to approval. Mission Fed is federally insured by the NCUA and is an equal housing lender. M1 Bandit, are you there? There. Bandit, you called AIS. I sure did. I got set up with my insurance carrier. They sent me a notice in the mail saying they were going to cancel me if I didn't renew membership. So I got on the phone, stepped up, called AIS. I saved $850 a year. renter's insurance that I got for $94 a year with a $500 premium and a $25,000 coverage on that as well. How long had you heard me talking about AIS? Over the past two years now. That's it, man. I mean, most people are just like you. They hear me talk about AIS, but it just takes a while before you go, you know what? I got to do it. Yeah, and I got to tell you, it was the best move I could have made. $850 a year is a huge savings to us. And I think like everybody else, we're tightening up our belts and trying to save money. And this is a great way to do it. They definitely saved me. 1-800-777-4247. Thank you, M1 Bandit. I appreciate it. You guys have a great day. You too. You can get in line or charge ahead. Blend in or break through. Settle.
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A foodie call. You know, it's really late, you're craving something, so you and your friends hit up my drive-thru for tacos or real ice cream shakes. That's a relief. I thought it was like his booty call. His what? Booty call. Who needs boots at 2 a.m.? Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy. I've got to tell you about the FM 94.9 Pigskin Pick'em. It is awesome. We have teamed up with Expressly Gourmet, and you can show off your football smarts and win some really cool stuff. If you pick the most right against Mikey, Hillary, me, and the rest of the FM 94.9 jocks, you can score a $50 gift certificate to Expressly Gourmet. What they'll do, they bring restaurants from all over San Diego right to your door. Check out expresslygourmet.com for yourself. Think about it. You get to go head-to-head with me, Hanson, Mikey, Hillary, and show us what you've got, okay? Then you can enjoy some of San Diego's best restaurants. You don't even have to leave your doorstep. Sign up now. Join in the fun of the FM 94.9 pigskin pick'em today at FM 94.9 SD.com. If you pick the most right, you can score a $50 gift certificate to Expressly Gourmet from Expressly Gourmet and FM 94.9. 33 years ago, we had a simple idea. Make the best vehicles in America and once a year, offer them with special savings. Today, it's a phenomenon.
Toyota-thon is back. Now lease a new 2011 Prius for just $249 a month. Or lease the all-new 2012 Camry SE for $249 a month. That's right. Lease a new Prius, America's best-selling hybrid. Or a new Camry SE, America's best-selling car, for just $249 a month. Hurry to your Toyota dealer. Motorintelligence.com CY 2010 sales. Offer excludes Prius V. Lease term of 36 months with $19.99 drive-off. Lease example on approved Tier 1 plus credit through Toyota Financial Services. Lessee pays 15 cents per mile for all miles over $12,000 per year, plus tax and license. Security deposit waived. For details, visit buyatoyota.com. Vehicles must be leased from new car dealers stock by midnight 1-3-12. Offers may vary by region. Courage to Call. This is Ron. How can I help? Hi. I just got back from Iraq. My wife and I were looking for work, and we need help with the kids. Courage to Call is a local veteran-run program helping veterans, friends, and family with jobs, child care, addiction, and stress. It's free and confidential. Well, good. I hope this was helpful for you. To speak to a veteran, call our 24-7 helpline at 211 or go to mhsinc.org slash Courage to Call. Sponsored by the County of San Diego Health and Human Services Agency. This is a reenactment of an actual call.
This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, when it's time to service your Toyota, your best choice is your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Great prices, service while you wait, Wi-Fi, shuttle service, and a whole lot more. Well, looks like we've got a little bit of slowing this morning as you travel here on the 67 southbound. Some backup from Mapleview Street down to about Woodside Avenue. It's in the mid-20s. Also, an accident here. No injuries, though. The 805 southbound on the West H Street off-ramp. It's blocked. Got a car stalled West Coronado Bridge mid-span. This report also brought to you by Walgreens. Stop circling the parking lot at the Megastore. Pull right into Walgreens. Great gifts like Nerf Vortex Blasters, beauty gift sets, neck massage. and more. Shopping simplified with Walgreens. There's a way. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like a skinny fry. I don't like thick. I don't like thick fry. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. Woods. I want filth. I want straight filth. As filthy as it can get. And Jay. I've got bees in my attic right now. On FM 94.9. Hey, here's some good news.
Price of gas going down in San Diego. That's good news. Well, here's the deal. Went down by 1.2 cents. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but it adds up. Average price of gas here in San Diego, $3.64. Now, that's different than when Jay was a kid and it was a nickel. A nickel for a gallon of gas. But the reason they're saying that this is going on, time of the year and less demand. So gas prices are going down a little bit. That's good. That's something nice to hear. Why does this song sound like a Christmas song to me? Because of the sleigh bells. It's sleigh bells. Yeah. There you go. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I'm going to tell you about who will be playing in this year's national championship game in a sec, but wanted to tell you that sports is brought to us today by our friends at Dave and Buster's. Dave and Buster's Eat, Drink, Play Football. I will be there tonight for the Monday night football game. With the San Diego Chargers and the Jacksonville Jags. Here you go. Yes. That game will be at 530. It's in Jacksonville. And, you know, it's one of those games. Chargers 4-7. They've lost six in a row. And the Jags are 3-8. So it should be really great. It's still Charger football. It is Charger football. I'm down because it's still Charger football. I will be watching it. So it has been decided. It will be the LSU Tigers in the Alabama Crimson Tide in a rematch of the...
It was called the Game of the Century, and it ended in a 9-6 win by LSU over Alabama in overtime. That was how it went down in November. They're going to replay it, and that's going to be your national championship game, January 9, 2012, at the Superdome in New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl. There you go. So this is what was up for grabs. $100,000 scholarship, and it was a Dr. Pepper halftime competition. During the SEC title game. Yep. As you know, if you're a new listener to the Mikey Show, maybe you don't, but our good pal Woods loves Dr. Pepper. Love it. He absolutely loves Dr. Pepper. So we may be using some portion of this clip at some point or another. Yvonne, I can just tell how much this means to you. Just talk about the importance of this check. This is so important to me. Dr. Pepper, seriously.
Let's save that clip. I can relate. Let's save that clip. And any time we talk about Woods' daily routine, we can play that every single morning, without fail. Woods stops by the 7-Eleven. He sees his Indian friend who works at the 7-Eleven. JR or JS, one of the two. His name is JR or JS. Woods gets a Dr. Pepper and sometimes a can of snuff and a donut. The guy sits there and counts the change right in front of you. He does everything. He makes coffee. I stand at the counter for a good solid three minutes. Waiting. And he sees me. I go, hey, good morning. Good morning. And then he does whatever. Whatever he needs to do. If he's mopping. He'll finish. He'll go ahead and finish up mopping. Yeah. If he's stocking shelves, he'll finish stocking. He figures you can wait. Yeah. And Woods doesn't like confrontation. No. So he doesn't say anything. I just stand there and I go.
Why don't you just go someplace else? It's right on the way. It's so perfect. What are you going to do? I mean, what are you going to do? You get a donut every morning? No, I don't. Not every morning. Don't look like you do. Sorry, I'm just pointing out was... You look fat. A guy in Central Florida was arrested because he joked that he wanted some weed at a Burger King drive-thru. Who doesn't? Can't do that. Can't do that. You can't? He's 32 years old. His name is Sean Porter. Was he joking? He was joking. He pulled up and he placed an order for, quote, blunt and some herbs. Oh, you prankster. Cashier smelled a lot of pot. Coming from the car, jotted down a license plate, called it in. And a local deputy showed up to the dude's house waiting for him to come home. When he did, he arrested the guy who had 28 grams of pot in his car.
A little bit of a narc. Thank you, Burger King. Yeah. A little bit of a narc. That's your best customer. So there you go. So I knew when I read this that there would be some that would be like Tottletail. Yeah. How about you just take my order and give me my... Yeah. Quit sniffing around. No, wait. Order a Whopper. Don't order a Blunt and some Herb. He probably was trying to be a little... Hey, you know who doesn't get busted with 28 Gers in their freaking car? Oh, boy. I wonder if they would have called the cops if he hadn't asked for the blunt. If he just showed up and was high and got like four Whoppers and some hash browns. Maybe they just pull every car over that goes through Jack in the Box after midnight. That's fair enough. That is absolutely fair enough. I bet it was the tone of the guy's voice that was like condescending or something. And the worker was probably like, I'll get you. You can't be condescending when you're high. I'm working at Burger King overnight shift. All right. Don't break my balls. Just order what you want. I'm here. I'm working the overnight here. Yeah. Don't roll up and start being a smart aleck. Yeah, come on. Well, what's up with Johnny Lawmaker? Yeah. Johnny Lawmaker's just trying to make his $6.75 an hour, man. So why do you got to go to the extra mile and call the cops? Come on. Working for a medal? I took a look at the guy. I could be related to him. There's no doubt. I'm so wasted.
Oh, absolutely. No doubt. One of your cousins. I'm so high. He's got to be one of my cousins. Guy's mad. Well, of course he is. He had 28 grams of pot in his car. He's being held on a thousand dollars bail. Boy. Oh, boy is right. Cattletail. Good Samaritan. Yeah. Munchies real good. Nosey Samaritan. Speaking of munchies, Woods and I had a Cuban sandwich last week. And I said to my wife, how much would it cost to get you to try a Cuban sandwich? Now, if you don't know, there's weird stuff on a Cuban. A Cuban has ham. Pork. Pork. Pickles. Swiss cheese. She would never do it. Well, it's a good thing you have woods to split it with then. Hey, Kathy. Yes. Dog. You guys splitting sandwiches out there real good? Oh, yeah.
Yes, Woods and I split a sandwich. Big deal. You guys must have had something else in, too, because you can't just eat a half a sandwich. Well, they split a milkshake, and they had just two straws in one milk. What are you doing? Do we report for the paper? Yeah. Some things guys just shouldn't share. Yes. They shouldn't do together. Why? I didn't want a whole sandwich. Neither did I. You did, too. Both of you did, too. Well, they got cheesecake afterwards. Oh. Gosh, darn. You guys got cheesecake as well? Yeah, they wanted to leave room for the cheesecake. You stenographer just taking everything down? When I notice something, like two men walking on the beach holding hands. Really? So the fact that we went to the cheesecake factory and split a sandwich is the equivalent of walking down the beach hand in hand. You know how I know you're gay? Because you macrame yourself a pair of jean shorts. Now, two gay men walking on the beach holding hands, I get it. Two straight men, I'm like, what are you guys doing? What are you doing? We didn't walk down the beach. We didn't walk down the beach? Well, you guys wouldn't walk, really. Oh, my God. Yeah. We should go in the car together. They go to the bathroom together all the time. All the time. It's nice to have somebody to visit with when you're in there. Yeah. Nobody likes to be alone. Do you have to go pee-pee? Me too. I just feel sorry for your wives. Why is it that we go to lunch?
In a private luncheon. The one time she comes to lunch with us in two years, she's got to freaking take notes. And she's taking notes. We're never asking her again. It was a strange thing that I noticed. And it made me wonder how often this is happening and what you guys are doing when I'm not around. It's our business. I don't want to eat the whole thing. And then why did you guys have to go shopping for jeans together afterwards? Stop it. Forget it. Stop it. That'll do it. All right. Why did you have to do that? Low blow! That's weak, L.O.B. That is weak. That is weak. That's something that is reserved for a couple. Yes. Did Mikey come out and show you how they looked once he had them on? No. Yes, he did. No, we just went perusing. Who held whose purse? Shut it. We're going to get you back. We're going to get you back. Hey, Woods, is my butt crack showing? Are these long enough? What? What? Where'd you guys go? The jean bar? Went to Nordstrom's. We went to Nordstrom's and we looked at some jeans. We went to the jean bar. The denim bar. Big deal. Two guys, both needed DJs, designer jeans. We went into Nordstrom's and looked at some. Why is that a crime now? It's not. It's just a strange thing. Why? We're both, okay, we're at the mall. You know what else it was? A secret. Until you brought it out. You guys should just get a room and finish this up. Good one.
Yeah, let's go make love. Good one, Sinbad. Let's go make love. You guys do everything together. Yeah. You're like bosom buddies. We're just friends. Let's go to the bathroom. Let's go to the gym together. Well, that one's not that normal. Yeah, friends. Sorry. Hey. Sorry. Sorry we're pals. Sorry we try to be dynamic. Yeah. Sorry I didn't want to eat a whole sandwich. He didn't want to eat a whole sandwich. And sorry that we needed cheese. Was this second lunch? Because I know you. They were like, perfect. Perfect. When they decided it and they both took the menu, like, oh, perfect. You don't have to tell every story. Every detail. Gosh, darn. What's up with second lunch, by the way? That's a good question. Yeah, you did have, like, Jenny's that morning. We had breakfast. Yeah, we had breakfast like we always do. So you had breakfast at, like... I hate coming in here. I know, I know, I know. Do I have sick days? I have sick days I can use, right? And then at one, you ate again. 11, 11.30, plus they got cheesecake, then they went for jeans. Then I'm sure they had a snack. Did you guys split an ice cream cone? No, we didn't. My wife is shaking her head at the radio right now. Mine too. Hot dog on a stick. I wish I had something on you, L-O-B. I don't do strange things like you guys do. I don't do these.
strange. You guys need some separation. Hey, you need to understand, nobody cares about our jean shopping. It's not a big deal. Guys shouldn't sit on a love seat together. Which we don't do that. They shouldn't go to the bathroom together. Why? That's something that women do. Listen, we are on a time schedule in here, and if we both have to pee, then it's nice. We get to visit with each other. He is a good friend and a lover. You guys pretty much beat each other up to go to the bathroom. That doesn't make any sense. Touch my body. You come to the bathroom right now and you visit with your friend. Come pee pee with me. That's true. That's actual audio. She's speaking out of school. You guys go get your eyebrows waxed together? One time. No, I've never had my eyebrows. Pedicures together. We have had a pedicure together. Never had eyebrows waxed. Apparently we are... We know the rules now. The rules are no gloves. Anything goes. Hey, if it's not anything wrong, then why are you guys ashamed of it? I'm not. I am. I'm not. Shut up. Did you guys go do a makeup trial together? Yes. We did a makeup trial. Then we got a suite at the Hilton and we made love all out of it. It was awesome.
It's not that you're acting like you're gay. It's that you're acting like a couple of girls. Do men wear jeans? Yeah, men wear jeans. Yeah, they don't go shopping for jeans together. Why? We're both there at the mall at the same time. It's not a big deal. You guys were like excited about it. You were like, oh, you're going? I need to get some too. Yeah, that's fun. Fun? It's nice to have a friend with you. I hate shopping. Hey, and Jay's the one to talk. Him and his girlfriend. Oh, yeah. What about you and your little buddy in here? We play ping pong like men. Yeah. Like Asian men. Yeah. And not only that, when you play that ping pong, you might as well have a couple of dolphin shorts on. No kidding. Because the two of you have a standing date every single day. No, you did it. It's called a workout. I know you would understand that. A workout. Hey, I break a sweat. He is now calling ping pong. Hey. A workout. I don't see anything wrong with two men playing ping pong. Of course not. I don't see anything wrong with M1 Nation not having to know every single...
Private detail. Not every single detail. I just think that some men would be in agreement. I think some people would be in agreement that there's things that men don't do together. Like what? Share sandwiches? Like the things I ask. Walk on the beach together. We don't do that. We haven't done that. And we haven't. That's a strange thing. Request each other's company in the bathroom. That's a strange thing. Go to get pedicures together. That's a strange thing. That was one time. Strange. And we were very stressed. It was one tonight. Sit on the left seat together. We were stressed. Just go to Disneyland together. I will give you walking on the beach, all right? Which we haven't done. Which we haven't done. I will not give you going to the restroom because we have to do it at the same time. No, it doesn't happen coincidentally. You ask each other to go. Yes. And you rent rascals together and go for a drive. What a... What a rascal. There's the scooters that they rented at Disneyland. That was one time also. I guess we're just all out of the bag today. Sleep with one goat. 570-1949. Don't go see a rom-com together. We haven't. Yet. Romantic comedy. We have not done that. Those are just some of the things. You guys are like four for five. My face is flushed. It feels hot and red. You guys saw Valentine's Day together. You were there too. It was L.O.B.'s pick. Two guys shouldn't share popcorn.
Doesn't matter what the movie is. We might have done that. Yeah. Why are the phone lines lighting up? To fillet us? I'm sure. 570-1949. Give me your man card. Let's compose a list. Give me your man card. Let's compose a list. Stupid bit. You want to know something? I bet that Jay is home watching Dave. Oh, he watches Gossip Girls. Gossip Girls in Notting Hill every day. Yeah, he loves it. Do you guys not leave? You don't leave like buffer on the couch, do you? You guys just sit right on top of each other. Actually, I've seen. one of the two of you drape legs over the other. Most men will leave that buffer because they're like, I don't want people to think we're gay. We're comfortable in our sexuality. You're just comfortable with each other. How dare you. The two guys, the guys that have to sit, the guys that have to sit a seat apart in the movie theaters, they're late. They're late and gay. They're late and gays. I don't have to do that. There's no question. They're like, if we're too close, we may touch and then we may kiss. They're going to kiss. Oh, please. It's so stupid. M1 Jim from OB. Hey, what's going on, Mikey? How you guys doing? It's going good. It's great.
Jim. It's going great, Jim. It's freaking awesome. How does it sound? I am not gay. I never have been gay. Go ahead. I just wanted to know if you guys remember that time that you guys went to the mashed potatoes. Yeah. I remember that. You guys go in there. How dare you? The gay club that Woods worked at in Chicago. How dare you? How dare you? How dare you? Listen. They went and they shared a mashed potato. It was called The Dream. This one time, Woods did work at a gay club in Chicago. Got the move. An all-gay bar. Called The Mashed Potato Club. Yeah. He's got it. And then you guys went back to go see what it was like. No, we didn't. You rode on a gondola together. It wasn't a cab. It was a gondola. And what is it? The Ohio?
That's the Chicago River. Hey, listen. He brings up a good point. Woods, do you remember that time? Why are you turning this on me? Yeah, Mike, you're in this boat. Yeah, you're in the gondola with me. Do you guys remember that time you went to the chapel in Vegas just to see what it looked like? You're such a jerk. Holy cow. Oh, my God. Gosh. Kathy Callout. I love Kathy. I hate Kathy Callout. Sweet girl. Nothing is sacred, apparently. Hey, want to do the Incorporator? Oh, yeah. Let's do the Incorporator. 570-1949. The Incorporator is where Woodsy will call someplace, and he will have to incorporate the words that M1 Nation calls in with right now. What are we going to call? We're calling Ruby's Beauty Shop. Ruby's Beauty Shop. All right, so call us and give us words. They've got to be real words, though. I mean, I'm talking things like elephant. Crisp. Crisp. You know, words. You know, taco shop. Right. And he'll have to work those things into this conversation that he has. Don't give us, like, jooby-doo-ba-doo-boos. Right. Give us real stuff, all right? 570-1949. We'll do the Incorporator next.
This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949Mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM949. They say it's better to give than to receive. Well, at Navy Federal, we've found a way to do both. With our new Navy Federal Visa Cash Rewards credit card, you can buy something nice for someone else and get cash back to spend smartly however you choose. And with low rates... no caps on the amount of rewards received, and no expiration on rewards, you get the most out of every dollar you spend. So this season, you can give a little and receive a lot with rewards that really add up. To find out more, visit NavyFederal.org. If you like Jimmy, and if you like Willie, you're going to love Lucas Nelson and Promise of the Real, appearing live on behalf of Jobs for Autism, Saturday, December 10th. 8.30 p.m. at the North Park Theater, 2891 University Avenue. See this next legend of rock and roll? You'll be blown away. Tickets available online at jobsforautism.com. Be there. Here's a holiday conundrum for you. Spend your vacation day off with the family or spend it poking around at your Honda dealership. Normally I'd say family, but there are some pretty awesome deals to be had right now during Happy Honda Days.
Deals like 0.9% APR financing for well-qualified buyers. Deals that won't monopolize the remote control or delete that game that I just recorded. Look, I'm not saying great deals on great cars are better than time with your family, but the CR-V is the best-selling crossover in America. The Odyssey Touring and Pilot, well, they can roll with eight people. So bring the whole gang down to your Honda dealer today and make some cherished holiday family car buying memories. Okay, maybe that's a stretch, but hey, you can get a really good deal. See your Honda dealers of San Diego County today. Best-selling claim based on Polk U.S. retail registrations. IHS Global Insight Entry. See this segment January 2008 to August 2011. See dealer for financing details. Hey, this is LOB, and it's December, and that means what, Woodsy? It's time to get your holiday shopping done now. You've got to give the gift of great hair like ours. Oh, yeah, I've got. if I do say so myself, fabulous hair. Yeah, I've been using the Men's Max Pack, and I started using Ovation because I saw how amazing my wife Jamie's hair looked. It looked incredible. Well, not to mention my hair, which I come in here every morning just flaunting it about. Yes. Smells delicious. Smells amazing. And L.O.B., it's longer than it's ever been. It is actually longer than it's ever been. Right now is the best time for you to try Ovation because not only is it a really good price that they have going on for their holiday gift set.
But if you enter FM 949 at checkout, you're going to get a special introductory discount. We got a message that they are almost out of this holiday gift pack. They're almost sold out. You need to get in there now. So go to OvationHair.com and enter FM 949 at checkout. You're going to get that special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and enter FM 949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. Mama Dietz here, chairman of Dietz & Watson. It's the holidays. Things can get stressful. Especially when you're a host. Well, guess what? You can relax. That's right. Relax. It's the holidays. Because Dietz & Watson has been preparing your holiday party since 1939. Four generations. 72 years. Working on your 2011 holiday party. Our party trays and holiday hams don't have artificial flavor. They don't have additives. Those things weren't around in 1939. And at Dietz & Watson, they still aren't. So relax. Unless your holiday ham or party tray isn't from Dietz & Watson. In that case, start freaking out, hon. Insist on Dietz & Watson at your favorite market and deli. And happy hosting days to you and yours. You can get in line or charge ahead. Blend in or break through. Settle.
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On the 94 westbound, pretty slow right now from Euclid Avenue to 28th Street. Also a problem here on the 15 southbound Carmel Mountain Road in accident. Three cars in the center divider. You've got a backup on the 94 westbound at 28th Street due to a downed motorcycle in lanes. And the 805 northbound Mesa College Drive in accident on that right shoulder. You do have a backup to H Street. This report brought to you by Mimi's Cafe. Looking for a fast, affordable lunch? Stop into Mimi's Cafe today. Try the new Cafe Express lunch starting at just $69.99. If it's not served in 15 minutes or less, your lunch is free. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. When it's time to service your Toyota, your best choice is your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Great prices, service while you wait, Wi-Fi shuttle, and more. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Surf. to the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Monday morning. Stop by Bird Surfshed before you do your Christmas shopping for boards and all the toys go with them. Got some great sales on board starting at $300. You use boards for clean for even cheaper. So, cruise on by. Surf out there is kind of weak this morning as that Southwest Swell remains the dominant direction, Northwest Swell kind of fading off. Higher ties earlier on this morning too, kind of slowing things down, and surf has dropped off a bit as well.
Looking at either waist high surf on average, up to shelf tight, the standout area is most open to that southwest swell direction. Weave breaks all the back off now, beaches semi-walled up, some pick-and-choose corners there, best again at those areas most open to the south swell direction. On occasion, beautiful sets do roll through, conditions are perfect, clear skies, nice offshore winds, just not a whole lot of size to it. So for up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com, and for surfboard repair, restoration, and needs, go see Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. The authentic surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Get up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I know a lot of girly stuff. Woods. I've bathed myself in the ranch. Lauren. I'm all about the discount. Review. And Jay. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself. On FM 94.9. I mean, quarterback. Yeah. In just a bit. But before we do that, we're going to do this. Because we haven't done it before. Oh, wow. Music to my ears. That's what I'm talking about, Woodsy. The Incorporator is something that we do with our old pal Woods. Oh, here he comes. Watch out, boys. He'll chew you up. Oh, here he comes. Watch out, boys. He'll chew you up. Okay. See, Woodsy has this.
talent and ability. It's something that he developed at his last job where he was a salesman slash recruiter on the telephone. Always on the phone. And so you and your pals at work would get bored and so you found ways to amuse yourselves. We used to get bored out of our skulls. Yeah. So one of the things that you used to do is you'd come up to the cubicle as a guy was talking to somebody on the phone and you would whisper words to them. Yes. And they would have to slyly use that word in the conversation they were having on the phone. Without the person really noticing. Yep. And saying, what are you talking about? Right. If they called you out, you didn't do it. That's right. So what we did was during the commercial break, we had people call in with a bunch of words. Woods, I'm going to have you leave the room, please. Yes, sir. Woods is now leaving. And I'm going to read the words to you so that you know what is going to be said. M1 Mick from El Cajon gave us the word flagellants.
M1 Greg from Forest Ranch gave us Marshmallow Fluff. M1 Sanjaya gave us Summer's Eve. Oh, good word. M1 Diane gave us Twilight. M1 Ashley gave us a great word, Phlebotomist. M1 Jason gave us Neutered. M1 Gaydar gave us Sword Fight. And M1... Parge gave us elephantitis. Excellent. We're going to be calling Ruby's Beauty Shop, and I like phlebotomist so much, I'm going to use that first. Tell them to come in. Going in. You did not hear anything, right, Woods? Nope. Your first word's going to be phlebotomist. I always give Woods the first one. Okay, phlebotomist. Now, here's the deal. The person that we call will be able to hear Woods, not me. You, the audience, however, will be able to hear me feeding him.
The words. Here we go. Hi, I was wondering, excuse me, if you could help me for a second. I'm in dire need of some new moisturizing cream. I had just went to my phlebotomist and got a blood sample done, and I have a rash, and it's very irritating, so I need a very mild cream. Okay, well, sure, I can help you with that. We have some moisturizers for sensitive scalp. Well, the last one that I used, it's very embarrassing, but it was a Mexican cream and it caused flatulence, if you can believe that. I've tried everything for my skin. I have used extract of mango. I have used marshmallow fluff. You know the stuff in the can? Nothing seems to soothe the burning on my skin.
Okay. Well, we do have some aloe. Pure aloe works really well. That does work good. This is a weird one. I read about this in Cosmopolitan that Summer's Eve actually makes a cream. It's for women, but I thought if it's maybe sensitive enough for my skin too, would that work? Do you have that? We don't carry it here. I could probably find something that's suitable for your skin type. Well, if there is a, you know, I want to look like, I mean, I want to look sharp in this rash. I look like an idiot. I want to look very creamy and white, much like Edward from Twilight. Okay. Well, that just really all depends on your skin type. Right. But if you come in, we can assess. Well, I've got it. Moisturizer will be. I can come in and poke around a little bit, but I've got to take my dog to get neutered today. Maybe tomorrow, maybe better. Sword fight. Okay. Well, we'll be here tomorrow. You can come in anytime, and we'll be happy to help you out and find a moisturizer and cream that works best.
for you yeah i want to come in excuse me i'm going to come in with uh with a couple of friends of mine um you know after we sword fight of course and i will come in and and try to get some some uh i'm a fencer and i i get you know uh nicked up from time to time so i'm going to need some salve or some balm uh for the nicks okay okay sure sure we can help you with that we do have um some balm that we could Yeah, I'm looking for a good salve, you know, one that will bring swelling down. I've got a bit of elephantitis in a couple of areas, too. So I will see you guys tomorrow. Okay. We'll come in and we'll be happy to help you. Thank you so much. Oh, my God. I'm sweating. I'm sweating. I'm sweating. I'm sweating. Elephantitis. That was a hard one. Wow. Sword fighting couple friends. Yeah, I'm a fencer. You're a fencer. You're a fencer. Holy cow. That's nerve-wracking. The second word, I got scared because I was like, I'm not sure if I had my mic thing set right. And I was like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I hope she didn't hear me. What was the second word? Marshmallow fluff. Marshmallow fluff. Yeah, I know, me too. Holy cow. He said, you know, the one in the can.
Oh, Woodsy, I love it so much. So good. So nerve-wracking. Seamless. And we go from the Incorporator, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, yeah. Straight into it. What do we got as a prize, Jay? Might as well stick with the Madden NFL 12 Nintendo Wii. The perfect gift for kids and adults of all ages. All new authentic teams, runouts, real-life broadcast cameras, and more. Video game for the Nintendo Wii. I cannot say Nintendo. He can't say Nintendo. He cannot say Nintendo. This is a game where we pit L.O.B. up against Jay. You're going to call us at 570-1949. And you're going to pick either L.O.B. or Jay to represent you. A little background on who we are and why you might want to pick one of the others. Well, the background is that they're both casual fans of the National Football League.
Is that accurate? No. There's one casual fan of the National Football League. Jay is a 48-year-old man from Texas who played football until he was 17. Right. But doesn't know anything. Don't watch. Don't want to watch. Don't even. Doesn't have any interest whatsoever. He could have 50-yard line, you know, tickets to the Charger game, and he'd have no desire to go. My wife was quizzing me over the weekend about football. There you go. I'm a 31-year-old female without cable. There you go. Or a husband. You usually win. Wow, that was a low blow. Just point it out because maybe he'd be watching it at the house. Maybe we should point out your wiener size and color. You've never seen it. Personal foul. I'll show it to you, though. Personal foul. Unsportsmanlike conduct. It's a 15-year-old penalty. Unnecessary roughness. But the two penalties offset one another because, you know. Replay the down. That's right. You get one of these where I grab my wrist for no apparent reason. What does that mean? I don't know. M1 Che from Fallbrook, who would you like? LOB. Of course you would. Hang on the line. And M1 Miguel from IB, you've got Jay. Thank you. Hang on the line. You can just hang up now. Yeah. Who started last time? Jay did. Jay did. All right, LOB, you ready? I am. I got the score. How many goalposts are there on a regulation NFL field? Two.
That is correct. She would not be fooled. She wouldn't be fooled. I tried to get her. I tried to. With an emphasis on regulation. Regulation. Regulation. Now let's see what I get. Jay, describe the Lombardi trophy. What does it look like? It's a guy and he's like, he's got his arm out and he's like holding a football. I think you're thinking of the Heisman. The Heisman. That's the Heisman trophy. Okay, so I get a trophy description. She gets how many goal posts are on a football field. What's a goal post? What's a goal post? You've gotten... Yeah, you get easy questions. Yes. I never get easy. The Lombardi trophy for the record. How much change was in the coach's pocket when they played football this last weekend? That is how difficult he feels the question about the Lombardi trophy was. He's gotten some questions three times, and he's gotten them wrong. Yes, that's true. That is a true story. The Lombardi Trophy is the Super Bowl trophy, and it's shaped like a football. Yeah, there's a tall pole with a football on top. And it's got a football on it. Of course it is. All right. LOB? Yes. What sort of turf do the Cleveland Browns play on? That would be AstroTurf. That would be natural grass. That is correct. What is the score? It's one to nothing, Lauren. One to nothing, Lauren. All right. Are you ready, Jay? Yes.
Jay, name any player. By the word any, Jay. By the word any, I mean any. Oh, God. Oh, God. He just fell over in his chair. He fell off of his chair. I just went numb. My brain just went numb. I looked over. I saw a couple of air walks in the air. He just fell off of his chair. It's the least athletic thing I've ever seen. Oh, my gosh. Jay. Yes. Name any player. Any. Current or former. Ever. That has ever played for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. And I mean any player. Ever. Ever in the history of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. That would be T.O. That's a great guess. He has been everywhere. That's a good guess because he's gone everywhere. Gone everywhere. He's practically played for every team.
Except the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. But no, T.O. did not play. For the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Okay. L.O.B.? Yes. What is a horse collar? That would be when you pull on one of the other players. Shoulder pads. Oh, my God. Look at that. Wow. She is an impressive girl. The exact answer is tackling a player using the back inside of a player's shoulder pads. Wow. She got it exactly right. I would have gotten that way wrong. Jay? Yes. What product was OJ Simpson famous for endorsing? Orange juice? Is that a question or a statement? Isotoner gloves? Good guess. Good guess. Dan Marino. He was actually, that was Dan Marino, and he was, OJ was known for endorsing Samsonite luggage. And? Oh, he ran to the airport. I would have also accepted Hurt's rental car. That is correct. He ran to the airport jumping over things, right? Yeah. That was Hurt. Dang it. L-O-B. Yes. Dang it. What former NFL head coach was afraid of flying? That.
would be Buddy Ryan. That's what I was thinking. It was John Madden. John Madden. And he used to go in a bus. He used to go in a bus. Close. I think that does it. Well, yeah. She's 2-0. I have one more question. Oh, yeah. Just give it to him. Why not? For fun. Jay, who is Don Correale? He was in The Godfather. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! You've got to respect the family. That's the best answer you've ever given. That's it. That is the Hall of Fame right there. That is the Hall of Fame right there. Holy cow. Who is he? Don Correale. Don Correale was a former...
San Diego Charger, head coach. Hall of Famer. Perfected the passing game. Holy cow. That blew my mind. I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your daughter's wedding. Yes. On the day of your daughter's wedding. Be a masculine child. Thank you. Thank you. I love that game. I just love it. M1J. Hey. You made a wise choice, my friend. Thank you, L-O-B. You got it. There you go. So believe it or not, Jerry Sandusky is still giving interviews. Come on, dude. Can you believe it? Mikey, no. Dude, I'm telling you. Now, it says, note content means this ain't for little ears. Jerry Sandusky was interviewed by the New York Times.
Okay, these allegations are false. I didn't do those things. You said I didn't do these things. I mean, you know, you're like... I'm not the monster I've been trying to make out to be. I never engaged in sexual acts with these young kids. This is a question about the physical contact. I grew up at a recreation center. There was constant activity. I worked on a playground. I loved active kids. I couldn't stand to have kids sitting around and doing nothing. I wanted them playing ball. I wanted them doing this. When I was growing up, we went to the swimming pool. The swimming pool would go like... One of my friends and I would go in the pool. They would go and it was... How does the attorney say, good idea, Jerry. Go for it. Give an interview. Have at it. I mean, hello.
And battling with kids. So that was just, you know, I wasn't being anything else other than. Oh, man, he sounds so guilty. Well, and he sounds messed up. Yes. He sounds like he's on something. Yes. I mean, that is creepy. It sounds so creepy. They got to say, Jerry, don't give any interviews. It's not going to help you out. No. Here they're asking him about Joe Paterno. People have made this point to say, well, how could Coach Paterno and Graham Spanier not know that one of the star coaches on the football team... By the way, I'm going to be very interested to hear Sandusky's tone. Because anytime he's been asked about Paterno, he gets a tone that is very indicting of Paterno. Accusatory. Accusatory. Oh, he didn't ask me. It's always that, which in my mind is sort of a deflection. Like, look over here. Yep. Let's make someone, anybody else into a bad guy. It could be Kermit the Frog they're asking about. He'd make Kermit the Frog into a bad guy if he could. I resent that. Yeah. I mean, why me out of this? What did I do? I didn't do anything. I'm sitting over here with Piggy and, uh... Hi! Yeah!
I don't know whether I can clarify it because not only Joe knows in terms of whether... Yeah, you've got to ask Joe. He's probably illegal gambling right now somewhere. He's rolling dice in an alley. Oh, man. As usual. As usual. He's probably trying to bring back prohibition. He's bootlegging whiskey, right? He's got a sill. Yeah, somewhere. He learned about that or whatever. My only guess would be, and I don't know that he didn't know. I know that he never said anything to me. I don't know. Never said anything to you about the things that you didn't do, by the way. If it was presented to him, it was presented to him like it was almost...
presented to me. And it was like, well, this was already done by the authority. They didn't. Oh, wow. Guys on drugs. Yeah. Now, remember the Bob Costas interview where Bob Costas says to him, are you sexually attracted to young boys? And he goes, am I sexually attracted? Right. And he pauses and the weirdness. Lying tactic. Well, they asked him about that. They asked about that question. Are you attracted to boys? And the weird response that he gave to Bob Costas. And here's what he said with his lawyer. I don't know how different I would have said things. You know, when they said, when they said, I can't remember exactly how they said, are you attracted to boys? I'm sitting there saying, what in the world is this question? What do you mean? After the allegations. been indicted for like a hundred counts with eight boys, that came out of left field? That's out of left field. You know what would have been out of left field is if they asked you about the space shuttle. Right. That would have been out of left field. How do you like your steak, Jerry? Yeah, that's a little left field. Oh, yeah. I was just shocked by that. Not the kind of content I was expecting. Who would have thought? What is it? You know.
How am I going to be? I thought, you know, we were doing an interview about zone defense. Yeah, the 3-4. The 3-4, and here's questions about this. I thought they were going to ask me some questions about what I thought about Urban Meyers. Yeah, you know? What do you think of Urban going to Ohio State? I've been on sports. And then they come out of left field with a... If I say, no, I'm not attracted to boys. That's not the truth because I'm attracted to young people, boys, girls. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. This cannot be. Right. I enjoy. That's what I was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I meant. That's what I meant. I'm going to throw up. That's what I meant. I'm going to throw up. That's what I meant. I'm going to throw up. Oh, my gosh. I enjoy spending time with them. That's what I was trying to say. When you say attracted, it's almost like a magnetism. That's all I meant. I'm attracted to being well. Right. Ted. What Ted said. All right. I'm not. I like the way they look. That's all I was saying. Young people. I enjoy spending time with people. Shut up. I'm attracted to people. I'm attracted to human beings. Shut up. Shut up.
He deserve to die. Well, that's very strong words. As we have been attracted to Joe Paterno, yeah. I like being around him. Yeah, I like his company. I like Joe Paterno's company. Ask me about Janet from Police Company. Yeah, you know. Sure. They said, Michael Corleone said this. Michael Corleone said that. And they said, yeah, sure. The highest order. You gotta hear this. This is some good audio next. Larry King Special, Dinner with the Kings. Well said. That's next. This is the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. My robotic assistant Al and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags.
Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Scion's claim certified by AMCI Testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. Hey gang, it's your old pal Woodsy. And your old pal L.O.B. That's right. We want to tell you about... something amazing that you can do to change your life, and it's LASIK surgery. LLB and I both went to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. What did we do, LLB? I went in there. I had a free consultation, found out if it was right for me, and it was. Trust me, I shopped around for years. Of course. Trying to feel comfortable. Right. And when you walk in, you're immediately comfortable. They're going to take you in. They're going to sit you down, and they're going to say, look. You're a good candidate or you're not a good candidate for LASIK. And if you are, it's about a 15-minute surgery. If that. If that. And then you wake up the next day, you've got perfect vision. I did it. LOB did it. Changed our lives forever. Yeah, and right now I'm seeing 2015. And a good thing is you can get in there for a consultation and, like me, the next week be in there for surgery. Right now you're going to have some time off over the holidays. Oh, yeah. Perfect time to get in there.
Use up that flex spending that you might have? Absolutely. And if you want to get a free consultation, it's very easy. All you have to do is call 858-452-3937. You tell them that your old pal Woodsy and your old pal LOB sent you down there. And listen, if you do go in for a consultation, let me know. Hook you up with a backstage pass to come in here and hang out with us on a Friday. But more importantly, it's going to change your life forever. Give them a call, 858-452-3937. It is Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. This fall. Warren Miller's Like There's No Tomorrow will bring you on a global tour of the perfect winter. Adjust your gear, take a deep breath, and shred, launch, spin, charge, like there's no tomorrow. Join Warren Miller cinematographer Tom Day as he shoots his first 800-inch California winter and captures incredible powder turns laid down in Squaw Valley by Johnny Mosley, J.T. Holmes, Michelle Parker, and more. India, Chile, New Zealand, Norway, it's all here.
So get out there and buy tickets like there's no tomorrow because tickets are on sale now. Check warrenmiller.com for details. FM 94.9 welcomes Warren Miller's like there's no tomorrow to Encinitas this week. Check it out at the La Paloma Theater on December 10th. Ticket holders get buy one, get one free lift ticket offers to Heavenly and Mountain High and $25 off at Sports Chalet. Get your tickets at ticketfly.com, select Sports Chalet stores and at theater box offices. Check warrenmiller.com for more information. For more than a century, Azusa Pacific University has provided excellence in Christian higher education. With five enrollment periods, it's always the right time to start. Relevant Christian degrees since 1899. Go to apu.edu, keyword San Diego. Hey, gang, it's your old pal Woodsy, and we never miss the chance to give each other a hard time about something. So since it is football season, somebody's going to get raked over the coals every day for their football knowledge or lack thereof. You can join in the fun with the FM 94.9 pigskin pickup. Show off your skills at FM 94.9 SD.com. Pick against Mikey, Hillary, Jeremy, me and the rest of the jocks. You can win a $50 gift certificate to expressly gourmet. Get signed up and see more at FM 94.9 SD.com. If you like Jimmy and if you like Willie, you're going to love Lucas Nelson and promise of the real appearing live on behalf of jobs for autism.
Saturday, December 10th, 8.30 p.m. at the North Park Theater, 2891 University Avenue. See this next legend of rock and roll? You'll be blown away. Tickets available online at jobsforautism.com. Be there. Gonna go to Postal Annex. Gonna wrap my holidays up. Color printing. Brochures flyers. Documents copied. Documents bound. Gotta take a passport photo, fax a message, check my mail, notarize it, laminate it, find it, mail it, dun, dun, dun. Why drive all over town this holiday season or get locked into one choice for shipping? Wrap it up with one stop at your neighborhood Postal Antics. Save gas, save time, save money. Mail the cards, pack the presents, ship the gifts. I'm all done. Postal Antics.
The sound of business. Compare FedEx, UPS, and postal rates for your best option. Postal and... FM 94.9 and Azusa Pacific University are teaming up again to recognize teachers who make a positive impact on the lives of students. With our Teachers Are Heroes program, teachers can motivate, excite, and energize. Good teachers should be rewarded for helping students aspire. A good teacher brings more than reading, writing, and arithmetic to the classroom. They impassion a student with a lifelong love for learning. How many teachers can you look back on and say, if it weren't for them, who knows where I'd be today? Go to FM 949SD.com. And tell us about a teacher that helped motivate you. Teachers are heroes. Made possible by Azusa Pacific University, Legoland, California and FM 94.9.
This report, it's brought to you by Legoland. Holiday snow days are at Legoland, California. Real snow, world's tallest Lego Christmas tree. It's a winter wonderland of holiday fun. Visit Legoland.com. Well, it looks like we've got a lot of slowing this morning. Different areas here. One on the 94 westbound at the 15 due to an accident. Two cars in the center divider. Eight westbound at the 125. There's a huge box in the middle lanes. Could be your present. Don't go after it, though. 15 southbound Carmel Mountain Road in accident. Three cars stuck in the center divider. This report also brought to you by Mimi's Cafe. Looking for a fast, affordable lunch? Stop into Mimi's Cafe. Try the new Cafe Express lunch starting at just $6.99. If it's not served in 15 minutes or less, your lunch is free. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Hey, I'm Stacey. This is The Mikey Show with Mikey. When I was in high school, I never made love with a girl. Woods. That is what heaven is. In my mind. I get up to heaven and I'm like, oh my God, it's a Krispy Kreme. Lauren. My butt doesn't go straight down. Sticks out. You know, junk in the trunk. In the trunk. And Jay. I tell you, Kim got me on the organic ketchup and then I went back to the Heinz. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Here's some honey. Oh yeah, listen to that right there.
Peter, sing to me in that robotic voice of yours. That machine. Auto-tuned before there was auto-tune. Yeah. If I could do that, I'd be like, I'll take a number one. And I'll take it with a little cheese. Everything I would sing. An M1 as a Mikey show listener means you belong to M1 Nation. which is a strong and continually growing group of people. Right now, our Facebook page has 15,907 people, and you can be one of them. Wow. Just go to facebook.com slash Mikey show and click like. In fact, I'll write the number down right now and see how many people obey. A lovemaking has occurred.
To the sultry sounds of Chicago. Oh, yeah. I'm addicted to you, baby. How many 45-year-old guys have stepped out of a Corvette? Feathered up hair. Feathered up hair real good. Wind in their hair. Yes. Shoulder pads. Just dad socks. Oh, yeah. Hey, do you ladies like Chardonnay? Oh, let's see. What have I got to tell you about? Jungle Bells at the San Diego Zoo. This is going to be something fun. They're doing it. It's live music at nighttime. 4D theater. And it's going to happen from December 9th. And it's going to run through January 1st.
And the zoo will stay open until 8 o'clock at night except on Christmas Eve when they close at 5. And by the way, the zoo's open Christmas and New Year's Day. Nice. What? Yeah. A lot of people visiting. You know, this is a very hot spot for tourism. Yeah, but on Christmas Day. Yeah. You open your gifts, you go to the zoo. So they're making their employees work. Maybe they're making the Jewish employees work that aren't planning on celebrating Christmas. Could be. Could be. Could be that. Or it could be that they're giving him time and a half. Goldstein. Yeah. You're working, pal. Yeah. Okay. Or it could be they're just saying, hey. Berkowitz. Get in here. You're working. Get in here. We're working. 570-194-9 is our phone number. And let's see. Oh, yeah. So this was Larry King. Oh, sports, Woodsy. Sorry. I'm sorry, dude. I'm sorry. Why do you hate me? Listen, hey, congratulations to the San Diego State Aztecs football team. They did get a bowl bid. They were very nervous about getting a bowl bid because all the other teams have been selected. But they will be playing in the New Orleans Bowl against Louisiana Lafayette on December 17th. There you go. So congratulations to those guys. And I told you last week it was a possibility that Heath Bell would be traded to the Miami Marlins.
It is official. He is a new Miami Marlin. He is gone from the Padres. They have also signed Jose Reyes, one of the top free agents, $106 million deal for six years. And they look, they're going to be, I mean, they are loading up with talent right now. He didn't text me back and I, all weekend long. Freaking out about it? Yeah. All I thought was, oh, it was insensitive of me or it was something. I just was. He probably had a lot of text messages. Probably had a lot, and you maybe just fell by the wayside. Gosh, I love you. That made me feel better. That's what it is, right? He probably had a ton. Woods just got a look that said, no, Mike, I think you were pretty much a douche. No. I think I told you to text him. All right. So, yes, it was absolutely douchey. Yes. Tyra Banks went on Larry King's special and had the following to say. Now, people are wondering, what's all the commotion? It's supposed to be just like a chat around the table. There's a lot of people. It's dinner at the King's house, okay? And he's got celebrities there that he's interviewing. It's not just Tyra Banks. Conan O'Brien was there.
There was a few people there. But this particular clip is Tyra telling you, well, this is what I'm insecure about. This is the most depressing dinner I've ever been to. Tyra Banks is physically insecure. It's time to push this into my sternum. You're not the one who has to sit across from you. Every day I have this new apartment I built in New York. In the bathroom, I put all these, like, mirrors everywhere. You know, just, oh, put one over there. Put one over there. It'll make it look bigger. But I see my ass and the dimples in my ass every time I am brushing my teeth. There's a mirror there reflecting there, and I'm looking at my ass with the dimples in my ass. So, yeah, of course I feel it. That's what she's, uh, that's her bit. That's her deal. That's every woman's bit. Or the buckshot? No. Oh, cut of cheese? Cut of cheese. Hail damage. You guys are perfect. Oh, that's awful. Well, L-O-B. Women can be overly critical of themselves. Well, because you have people like Woods and Jay that... Call it buckshot. Call it buckshot. Yes. If they've got a little... I've got it. Hey, I've got it right there in my belly. I have it everywhere. It's easier to tell you where I don't have it. I don't have it on my earlobes. Oh, that's not true. I think I have it there, too.
But women get insecure, though. Oh, yeah. Every single woman. I mean, this is Tyra Banks you're talking about in a bikini and or just standing there naked or whatever she's doing. Women ever insecure about their bodies? Yes, I just told you. And their rear. Yes, they are. Especially their bones. Their rears. Yes. They're especially. Because you can't really see it that often. You kind of don't have to look at it. And then when you do see it in the mirror, you're like, that's what's going on. Jay, you would be too. If you were a chick, you would be insecure about it. No, I wouldn't. Yes, she would. In shape. I'm in shape. Even if you're in shape, you can't help something. If you had a bikini on you, you'd look disgusting. Yes. You are in shape, but you'd look freaking disgusting. I would look furry, but I think I'd still look pretty good. I don't want to know. Really? Do you? Yeah. I mean, you know, I'm not in perfect shape, but prove it. But he thinks he's just a step away from it. Just prove it. I work hard at it. I'll put a bikini on. Will you? Why do you guys want to see me in a bikini so bad? So I can make fun of your hail damage. I don't have any hail damage. What's hail damage? I said hail damage. Yeah, he said hail damage. That is something that women have and you guys don't. Men get cellulite. Not normally. You are.
One of the biggest offenders of thinking something's wrong with you when there's not. There is plenty wrong with me. Every summer that comes by, I'm like, oh boy, here we go again. It's disgusting. If you think that, then there's no help for any woman. Every woman thinks that. And it's because of you three. That's the hail damage. It's because of every man. The mugshot king. I like junk in the trunk. Me too. L.O.B.'s got a lot of it. Oh, boy. It's just that even a woman that we would consider to be perfect, they can still find something wrong with. So it gives none of us any hope. Well, that's an old. Well, let's go head to head. I'll put a bikini on L.O.B. Oh, yeah. That's really the same thing. So we get to see Jay and L.O.B. in a bikini? There you go. We don't get to see anything. Do a challenge. Do a challenge. All right. A challenge. Hoops or baseball or. No, it's physical. A chance.
As long as it's not football trivia, I'm in. How about spelling? It is football trivia. No football trivia. Or spelling. Spelling, I'm in. I do pop trivia. I do trivia. Pop trivia, I'm in. You'll do pop trivia? Against Jay? Yes, I'm in. Yeah. For a bikini. For a bikini. Why do you think that you're good at pop trivia? I'm better at that than I am football, and it's a chance to see LB in a bikini. Like pop culture trivia? I'm doing you a favor here. Is it? Pop culture trivia? Yes. Okay, well then, Jay, you can't purposefully lose it. No, then I would be in a bikini. Then he'd be in a bikini, yeah. Oh, that's true. If he loses, he's in a bikini, which I intend on happening. Well, then let's do this. Put you in a robe. Okay. Put you in a robe. Who, wait. Who comes up with the questions and what? Me and Mike. Yeah. What do you mean by pop? Pop culture. Pop culture questions. And you cannot give her the answers. No. No cheating. Yes, you can. No, you cannot. Just embarrass me. I know how you guys work. It's a win-win. Now, will you do it? Oh, I'll do it. You'll put a bikini on. I get to pick my bikini, though. Why would he care about putting a bikini on? Guy wants to get naked. Because it's embarrassing for a man to have triangles on his boots. Oh, yeah. Oh, I have to wear that. I thought I'd just... Well, we put you on the corner, maybe. That's embarrassing. On the street? On the street corner. Come on!
100. L.O.B., you'll beat him. Both of you put on a robe. We'll send you down to Friars and Frizee. Oh, my. And we'll ask you the questions. I'm in. On the phone. And you guys answer the questions. Best out of seven. Oh. Best out of seven is the winner. The loser has to remove the robe. And that's it. And then we have to come back. We have to stand out there. I thought you meant in here. No. This would be good, L.O.B. Oh, my gosh. We'll cause a sick alert down there with you. Will we? Oh, a traffic will come to a stop. Won't we? Oh, man. L-O-B in a bikini on the corner? I thought we were talking in here, and I also, I still think I could beat him, but. There you go, then. I'll probably panic down there. You got to bone up? Well, now I look like a turd if I say no. I will bone that up. You put yourself out there. You have blown down the gauntlet. When I thought it was in front of you, clowns. Nope. That's not embarrassing. Well, it is in front of us clowns, meaning M1 Nation. Yes. On the corner of Friars and Fazee. And maybe we send a phone screen Nicole out there. In a bikini. No, no, no. Yes. No, no. We send Nicole out there to hold up a sign. In a bikini. No, no bikini. Yeah, it's a win, win, win, win, win, win, win, win, win.
Wait, wait. Go ahead. If I win, I have nothing to worry about. If you win, you have nothing to worry about. You stay in the rope. Then I have nothing to worry about. Oh. Yes. Either way, it's a win. Either way, it's a win. It's not a win necessarily for us because we're up here. I'll take pictures. Unless Nicole takes pictures. Yeah, I'll take pictures. I want to see the questions before him. You don't get there. Well, let's see what M1 Nation thinks about said bet. 570-1949. Are you in? Should we do this? Let me take a look. And we'll be doing it today. No. I don't have a bikini. You guys have to be fair and pick questions like out of a basket. You can't come up with L.O.B. questions and Jay. No, no, no, no. It'll be fair. We'll do ten questions just in case, you know. It's fair because either way, it's a win. You guys are going to slant it and I know. We won't. We'll pull him out. He's an honest guy. I promise. And L.O.B., I mean it. Either way, it's a win. If that dude in there has to take a robe off and he's got triangles on his nipples, wearing a bikini, yeah, and a fro. Yeah. Looks like a Serbian down there. I'll make sure they're handled. If he has to do, oh gosh, that just made me ill. 570-1949 if you would like this to happen. I get to pick my own bikini. You guys don't.
Well, of course. It's got to be a bikini, though. Yeah, but it's got to be. And not an Amish bikini, all right? We don't want some Amish bikini. Made out of, you know, potato sack. I've got one that's got a skirt on the box. No! I'm just kidding. Put you both in robes. Yep. Thong. Ew, no. Jay in a thong. Jay in a thong. Oh, my gosh. Jay should have to do it. If I do, she does. Jay should have to do it. If I'm in a thong, she's in a thong. Jay should have to do a thong. Hey, you're the one that's so confident. Yeah, you're going to win, remember? You're the one that's so confident about your butt. You're the one that threw this out here. If it's even, it's Steven. No way. I'm not doing it. I have nothing to do with this. I won't even wear a thong on the beach. I'm not wearing it on Friars and Frazee. I want the one that has the... Well, the phone lines are blowing up. ...where it comes together in the crease. I don't care what you want. 570-1949. I was talking about a me. If this bet should go forward. And who picks the question? Me and Mike. We've said that. I don't trust you guys. I know. Why? L.O.B.
You know what? How about this? What about if Jamie and Rebecca do it? Our wives. Yeah. What if Jamie and Rebecca come up with the questions? My wife works like 16 hours a day, so I'm sure she'd be happy to pitch in. She's got to come up with questions. It'd take her five minutes. Yeah. M1 Twizzle from La Mesa. Are you there? Yes, I am. How you doing, Mikey? Good. What do you think? I'm definitely in for one. And my suggestion about the questions was maybe you have the M1 Nation on, like, Facebook submit some questions. Yeah, but if we do that, she'll see them. Yeah, that's a great idea. But they'll be on the corner. Oh, they'll be on the corner. They'll be on the corner. No, I don't like that idea. Why? That means the M1 Nation. They'll come up with, like, skateboarding questions. No way. Just let, we'll handle the questions. We'll handle it. The questions will be fine. Yeah. All right. Just wondering. Just suggestions. But if people have suggestions of how we should do this, 570-1949. You guys, like, realize in One Nation and Mike and Woods that it would be funnier to see Jay in a bikini than it would be interesting. Like, why don't you just go to the beach? Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. One of you is a good-looking blonde and one of you isn't. Yeah. Yes, but what's our show about?
Good looking blondes or humor? Good looking blondes. And you're funny. And you're funny, so it works. Boom. Boom. And what a rude dude from Carlsbad. What do you think? Should we do this? Oops, sorry. Yes, I should. 570-1949 if you have a suggestion or if we should do this. Just hanging up on everybody. What you doing? What you doing over there? I have fat fingers. Did you have a little salt this weekend? I need a dialing wand. Mikey Show, what do you think? I think M1 Nation should pick the bikini. I like it. Pick the bikini. Pick the bikinis. Teeny weenie. Pick the bikinis. Nope. I really do believe that Jay should be a yellow polka dot. Yeah. Itsy bitsy teeny weenie. Jay should be in a thong. There's no way. Come on, I thought you had a great body that you're always bragging about. You're a killer body. It's not going to look good in a small bikini. I need something that's going to go with my eyes. M1 Arthur from Scripps Ranch. Hey, guys. I was thinking if LB is so worried about the questions, you could give them genres before I am like movies, music, art, things like that. Yes, yes, yes. I'll bone up. What do you think of that, Jay? She'll bone up if you give them the... I don't care. Yeah, I'll study. Yeah. So we could give you...
Done. That's what pop culture is. Okay, you guys ready? Here's your genres. Music, movies, and entertainment. You came up with five genres, and there's two questions from each genre. Oh, my gosh. You're making this more complicated than it seems to be. All we've got to do is get freaking Trivial Pursuit pop culture edition and read questions. No, those are too hard. Let me just tell you. This is what you're going to get on Friday, and we're going to do this in prime time. I'm going to sweat. We are going to have L.O.B. and J. out on the corner of Friars and Frazee in robes. Robes. Underneath those robes are going to be bikinis. We are going to have them on the telephone. We'll send a phone screen to Cole out there with them. Yeah. To hold up a sign to say, hey, listen to FM 94.9. It's against my religion. And we will ask you guys questions. Loser removes the robe. And stands there. And stands there. For how long? The rest of the break. No. No. Like I always have to do when I go to the corner of Friars and Brazil. You never have to do that. Yes, I do. You just drop the robe, stand there for one minute. Two minutes. Rude, dude. You there? One minute. That's it. I am. 120 seconds. You let me go last time. I know. I'm sorry. How long should they have to stand there?
Well, you know, at least a couple minutes. At least a couple minutes. 120 seconds. A couple things. Number one, when is this going on? Friday. It'll happen on Friday, and we'll probably get news coverage. Friday, 7.30, right? Friday, 7.30. Oh, my God. Probably get news coverage. Stop saying that. And second, all this, you know, L.O.B., you're insecure. There's a reason everybody wants you to lose. Yes. Hallelujah. I cover up a lot with clothes. Preaching to the choir. M1 Dawn from Carlsbad. Hi. Hi, guys. What do you think? I definitely, I think Jay will look great in a song, especially after I give him a complimentary bikini wax. Yeah. What do you think, Jay? Bikini wax? My wife. She won't let you get a bikini wax? No, from a girl? Oh. It's my profession. She's a professional. Yeah. So are prostitutes, but you can go see one of them either, all right? It's what they do for a living. Babe, she's a professional. She's a professional, babe. Well, I just have to be hairy. Ow, that would hurt. Oh, God, he's going to look hideous. Oh, he's going to look hideous. I need to get some tan going on down there. Yeah, right? Gross, gross.
Jay's going to go tan. I've got to get some tan going on down there. Maybe I should get the rub on tan. Oh, my God. Friday, 7.30. Oh, yeah. Pop culture trivia. L-O-B. Jay. Bikinis. Robes over it. Loser drops the robe. Yeah. Do I make you horny, buddy? Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 5794.9. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is the FM.
Supported by our good friends at Sports Chalet. What's up there? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like Peter Murphy this Tuesday night. Peter Murphy playing the belly up. Wish she wants revenge. You can see Lee Scratch Perry at 4th and beyond the 9th. Boxer Rebellion at the Casbah on the 12th. On the 13th, Dinosaur Jr. at the belly up. Henry Rollins will be there to interview them during the show. And Pinback played the belly up on the 19th. A couple good New Year's Eve shows to check out. The English Beat at the belly up on New Year's Eve. Or at the Lafayette Hotel. hotel, you can see a bunch of bands, transfers, silent comedy, low volts, and creepy creeps, and you can get rooms at the Lafayette, too. And in 2012, we've got shows lined up from No Effects, Wilco, Dr. Dog, Young the Giant, and Craig Finn of the Hold Steady, just to name a few. So there you have it. Get up there and see you soon. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. Are you looking for the absolute best place to buy a pair of high-quality, brand-name sheepskin boots or slippers? and at the best price? Boot World is San Diego's home of sheepskin, and I'm here to tell you why.
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And happy hosting days to you and yours. Hi, this is Jack, founder of Jack in the Box. Let's take a call. Jack, I'm kind of seeing this guy, but he only calls me at like 2 a.m. and says, hey, come over, let's do something. Does he like seasoned curly fries? Yeah. That's a foodie call. Huh? A foodie call. You know, it's really late, you're craving something, so you and your friends hit up my drive-thru for tacos or real ice cream shakes. Ah, that's a relief. I thought it was like his booty call. His what? Booty call. Who needs boots at 2 a.m.? You can get in line or charge ahead. Blend in or break through. Settle or unleash. If you believe in challenging the status quo instead of accepting it, then your car is waiting. Infinity. With more daring designs, more powerful engines, and world's firsts like a round view monitor and blind spot intervention system.
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Save $15 on general admission to Universal Studios Hollywood when you bring a specially marked Arrowhead label to the front gate ticket booth. Offer ends 430-12. Restrictions apply. Visit UniversalStudiosHollywood.com slash Arrowhead for full terms and conditions. This report brought to you by Legoland Holiday Snow Days. They're at Legoland, California. Real snow in the world's tallest Lego Christmas tree. It's a winter wonderland of holiday fun. Visit Legoland.com for all the details. Well, it looks like we've got a little slowing here on the 15 southbound. The ramp to Carmel Mountain Road due to a car that was stuck over on the right shoulder. They just moved it out of lanes. On the 15 southbound before the 56, an earlier accident cleared. And the 805 northbound Mesa College Drive, there is an accident over on that right shoulder. You have a backup to H Street. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. When it's time to service your Toyota, your best choice is your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Great prices, service while you wait, Wi-Fi shuttle service, and more. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
Had enough. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Things happen. I got diarrhea. Woods. I have two speeds. I have stop and go. Lauren. So everybody knows how I feel about bottled water. Right. I hate it. And Jay. They said there's breastfeeding out there. I was like, I'm in. Check, check. One, two, three, check. On FM 94.9. Chris Cornell coming back to San Diego. December 16th. 16th? 17th. 16th or 17th. All right. 17th. Balboa. Balboa. There you go. Tiger Woods apparently is back in it, right? Dude, the first win by Tiger Woods, listen to how many days. 749 days, 107 weeks, and 27 starts in tournaments. The longest span between victories for him ever. He birdied the last two holes on Sunday, and he won a tournament, the Chevron World Challenge. Look at him. He's back. There he goes. He feels great.
It's kind of hard for me to elaborate beyond that. I know it's been a while, but also for some reason it feels like it hasn't. Because when I was coming down the stretch there, I felt so comfortable. Do you think that gets him back and now he's mentally back on it? Or do you think that was just a little... You know, the way that he won leads me to believe that he is back a little bit. He was down with a couple holes left to play. Birdied the last two holes to get the victory. So, you know, time will tell with Tiger. And once he gets on one of those streaks and wins three or four in a row like he used to do, then we'll see. But that's, you know, good for him. He's off the schneid. The Mikey Show is myself, Woodsy, and L.O.B., and Jay. And M1 is a Mikey Show listener. So if you listen to the Mikey Show. And you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, and you don't cuss. That's what makes you an M1. M1 Nation is constantly recruiting new people. In other words, if they're listening to another morning show here in town, you say, stop listening to that. Listen to the Mikey Show. You're turning people on to the Mikey Show all the time. This text says, Mikey, how can I deal with a mumbler? I'm dating this girl.
that's a 15 but she won't speak up i think i've spent half our relationship saying excuse me oh my gosh uh there is nothing you can do about it there is absolutely nothing you can do about it my wife is not a mumbler but she is a soft speaker yes yep so you got mumblers and soft speakers my wife has a very soft voice it's very hard to hear her I've been in radio for 23 years and my headphones have gotten louder and louder and louder over the years. And my hearing is shot. So most of the time, my wife says, excuse me, hard tea, hard tea, trying to act like it isn't a hard tea, but it's a hard tea. It's a big time hard tea. What? What? My boyfriend, Matt Commerce says a trail off. What's the trail off? I mean, he's got a big, booming voice, and he starts, like, projecting, and he'll be like, so, I don't know. I just thought that we could go to this. Yeah, I got that, too. Like, what? What's up? And then he'll go, I said I thought that we could just go to him. What, babe? I love you. 570-1949. Do you go through this? Do you have this? You just have to.
Live with it. Yeah, you got to live with it. That's the only thing I think you have to do. It's like the. Nothing you can do. It's just that thing about them that drives you nuts. And he won't repeat himself either. Yeah. Kim doesn't either. Kim does a walk away. She'll start the conversation talking to me and then she'll turn and walk away. But she stays at the same volume. So it's like, so you wanted to. What was that, honey? She's like, nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I'll give away a trade secret. But one of my bits is I pretend. that I can't hear it because I don't hear all of it. So I'll be in the living room and I can't understand. But I don't want to yell out, what? I don't want to do that. So I hear, hon, is anything fun to just ring with Jake? I do that. And this is my response. You just hear this in the background. You just hear in the background. The television is on. Full blast. I will be... Get the gift of football, no matter what it takes. Madden NFL 12. And I just stay quiet. And eventually, she will walk in and go, hun, did you hear me? And I go, and I'm not lying. I go, uh-uh. I'm not lying. You can hear some vague...
I heard something. Something. Yeah. I heard something, and then I heard the word Jake, but I don't know. Yeah. Now, this is what's great, and I bet L.O.B. goes through the same thing with her boyfriend, Matt Commerce. I bet you go through this woods with your wife, Jamie, and I bet you go through this with your wife, Kim, Jay. They get mad at us. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I can't hear you, babe, because you talk so quietly, and I go, huh? And she goes, I said. I'm just as guilty, though, because I'll be in a room. I'll be brushing my teeth, and the water's going, and I know he's doing something, and I'm like, did you notice that the... Babe! Gosh darn it. Babe, did you hear me? And he'll go... And he'll come walking and go, what? And I'm like, I know. I know that what I'm doing is annoying, but I want to get my thought out, and I need to finish brushing my teeth. Jamie's a rambler. Jamie is a rambler, and so when she starts to ramble, it's hard for me to stay tuned in. So when she starts to ramble, here's me. I'm like, yeah, yeah.
You have the intention span of a gnat. I know. I do. I do. But listen, you're thumbing through a catalog and you're showing me pictures. All right? It's not like you're, you know, we're not writing the Declaration of Independence together. Like, you're thumbing through a catalog showing me stuff. I'm like, uh-huh. Yeah. Me and Woods speak the exact same language. But you guys have no problem paying attention to each other. Oh, yeah. Not really. I'll dreamy-eyed. reciting movie lines. I started a thing in the water, like when I'm surfing and my ears are full of water because they hold water now. A guy will say something to me, I'm like, yeah, yeah. Because I just don't want to, I don't want to have to ask him what he said again. So I'm like, yeah. So whatever you're saying out there, a guy in the water, I'm not. I do the same thing. And you'll be pad, if you're paddling, I can't hear you. It's like you get the sound of the ocean. Oh, you can't hear anything. And someone's like, I think it's quite a difference. Wait, is it crashing? Yeah, forget it. Yeah. Count me in on that. What? That is something I cannot relate to. Oh, it drives me nuts. It's like when we're at the buffet and then the guy in the kitchen is like, now I know what you mean. You hear like the clash of the pan. Yes. Yeah. And the growl of your stomach. And then you hear. Yeah. The cash register. Sizzling of bacon. Yes. It's kind of like that. Rebecca will. And you cannot say to your wife, what's the end? Oh.
You can't say it. You can't say that to anyone. You can't say that to anyone. You can't say it. But I'm fine if somebody, if she says to me, cut to the chase, I'll gladly cut to the chase. No, that hurts your feelings. Does cut to the chase? Hey, it doesn't hurt my feelings. Your story is boring to me. Can you just cut to the chase? I don't enjoy your company. I can't fit here. No, it isn't that. There is a difference between a boring story. And a story that's freaking taking forever to develop. Where do you have to go? Yeah. What's the fire? I'm watching Seinfeld here. I'm watching. Yeah, a rerun. It's a commercial. I'm FaceTiming with my friend Mike. Just got a text from the wife. Oh, yeah. You're a dead man. I'm a dead man. Yeah. Yeah, you are. It's rude, Mike. Rude. It's not. It's not. Listen. Don't tell people what's the end. They're married. Yeah, she's got no way out. She has peccadilloes that he does that bother her, and he's got them about... What's his excuse for doing it to me, then? Brevity. Yeah. We're on the radio. We have to be brief. No, no, this is during break. Oh, off the air. Yeah. You're my work wife. Yeah, you're a work wife. You're my work wife. Listen, I've said this a million times, and it's a true story. Lauren O'Brien is born on December 2nd. My wife is born on December 3rd.
The only thing that separates the two of them is 24 freaking hours. That's a true statement. They are very similar. They are very, very similar. They also riddle. Well, that's women. And L.O.B. was talking to us this morning about it. I said to her, I said, why do women ask so many questions? She goes, we want to know. We just want to know. Riddlers. We'd like to know things. Building a case. Why am I building a case about Bill from accounting? Because you are always building a case. No, we like to be informed. Can you give the M1 Nation and everyone listening an account of some of your riddling like you gave us this morning? Like I was talking to my boyfriend at Commerce last night and he gave me, he just gives me a morsel sometimes. Of what? What was the story? Something that was going on with his family at home. Right. And I said, oh, well, what did your mom think? Like, what was her tone? Oh, boy. I realized as soon as I said what was her tone that that was probably a little much. I realized it because you're asking a guy. But what I meant was, like, was she panicked about it or did she seem okay about it? I wanted to know the immediacy of how I might need to step in and help. I told the story about how this weekend I talked to a friend of mine who...
says that he's no longer working at this place. What happened? Well, Rebecca heard my side of the conversation. And I knew. Here it comes. I thought in my head, I thought, I'm going to, as I was talking to him, I said, in my head, I thought, I'm going to have this conversation two times. Yep. First with him. Better take notes. And then with her, because she's going to want to know. God forbid you have to talk to us. It isn't that! We should just shut our mouths and spread our legs. Finally. Shut our mouths and spread our legs. Wow. That's not what we're saying. Fix me a sandwich, L-O-B. It means that we... Why do you hate to talk to us? We don't need detail. I don't want to do...
Every time I get off a phone call, I don't want to do a deposition. It kills me. I don't want to do a summary of, like, I just got off the phone. My friend's coming to visit. I don't want to do a summary. It kills me. M1 Chris from Mira Mesa. You get it, right? I totally get it. I guess, you know, I had the same conversation with my wife, and I can't take credit for the idea, but somebody told this, and it told this to me, and it worked. What? I know she wants to be heard. I know all of the women in our lives absolutely want us to get to the end. But we made an agreement. I told her, if you say the point first, followed by the details, I'm more inclined to get to the details. You know, I love that. Yeah, because who doesn't like the ending of a story first? Let me give you the punchline of the joke and then give you the setup. I think that is brilliant. No, it's not. Chris, you've hit upon something. I've never even considered this. I'll give you an example of what that would sound like, because I'm sure a lot of people are wondering. Give me a real example of what would this look like. Okay, it would sound like this. Marsha got fired for smoking weed at work. Okay? Instead of... So guess who I talked to yesterday? Yep. Who? Marsha. Oh, cool. Oh, not so cool. Well, you know she got that job, right? Last October. And she hated it because her old job, she had to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Well, she finally got out of that job, which was a beating and a half. She hated. And so she was so happy because she finally was going to start working over at Murray and Accountant and Associates. And so she was there and it was probably her third week there. And you're like, what happened? What happened? Your guys' stories are so interesting. They're quicker. They're not. They are. Especially not Mike or Woods. Pack a bit more of a punch. Yes. No. Yes. No. You guys talk about people as if we're supposed to know who they are. That is something that men do. Meaning that we will say... Jim Summers came to the... Wait a minute. Who's Jim Summers? You know Jim Summers. That does happen occasionally. I don't know Jim Summers. I don't do that. Yes, you do. You're the number one culprit. No, I don't.
Not at home with my wife, I don't. She knows who I'm talking about. Well, here you do. To who? Your work wife. I do? Bobby McFerrin. He's saying, don't worry, be happy. Everybody knows that. Bobby McFerrin had this grin on his... Wait, who is Bobby McFerrin? Sometimes. Every now and then. That's a men thing. She might be right, but at least we get to it quicker. You guys assume that we know. Well, I tell a good story. I know that. Well, it loses its point because I can't relate. M1's Sean from San Diego says he just had this exact conversation. Go ahead, Sean. Hey, good morning, guys. How are you? Good. What's up, Libby? Hey, buddy. Hey. So, yeah, I literally had this conversation with my wife last night. And what irritates me the most about it is when they say, you know, you just don't listen to things that I say. And I'll turn around and recite the entire conversation to her. But just as I'm tuned into the football game and I'm watching TV and I'm drinking a beer. I'll turn back to her and say, oh, no, no, no, no, I got it. Here, this is exactly what you said. Word for word. And then I get the same thing back. No, no, no, no. Did you ever take a communications class? Oh, God. Oh, God. Hey. Nonverbal communication is sometimes more important than impertent. What's important? You're going to be impertent. Show us signs that you're listening. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Make eye contact every now and then. Listen, I married you. I don't have to be tuned in that much anymore. I love me.
We're married. We talk all the time. We talk all the time. Yeah, all the time. We do. We talk all the time. I need more. What do you want? Everything. What do you want? We talk so much. I married you. We've been together nine years, okay? You're always talking. You're always talking. Yeah, you used to listen to me. I still do. I love to hear. I was trying to make love to you. I mean, I don't want to be mean, but sometimes it feels like. Like, she can be that kid in class that elaborates on the answer that someone wants to talk about. And they're like, hey, man. Let me ask you this one, Chris. Or, excuse me, Sean. Sean, let me ask you this one. Yeah. Do you ever get, are you listening to me during the middle of it? Of course. Yeah, but that goes back to. Oh, yeah, yeah. You were talking about Stacey and, you know, Stacey's doing cartwheels from the parking lot. Right, right, right. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I'm sure. I get, you're an a-hole in the middle of a lot of these. Your guys' stories are just as stupid, but we're willing to listen to them. Well, maybe you'll start talking to me while I'm looking. Do I care about cars? Yeah, but you like this. Do I care about movie lines? Do I care about who, Jose Canseco, where he got traded? I don't give an F.
But I'm listening. And to your credit, you're totally right because my wife said that to me last night. I listen to your crap about sports and you talk about cars. And I expect it. I want it. You better be listening. You better be listening about the Jose Canseco. Matt will go on and on about Steelers. Freudian slip. Jordan. He'll be like... Oh, man. And I said it, too. I said it from the start. I saw him get drafted. And I'm like, really, babe? He's like, yeah. And I called it. He's going to be a defensive player. You know what they call him? You know what his nickname? No. What's his nickname? Silverback Gorilla. Can you believe that? I mean, is that crazy? And I'm like, that is crazy. That seems a little racist. I know. But they call him that. And she doesn't care. But because she loves her man, she's paying attention. She's listening. Steelers. Defense wins championships. Defense wins championships. That's what he says. I'm like, yeah, it does. Wow. Yeah. My wife, she pretends being on what I'm doing. She has to listen to the Yankees. That ends at some point. 570-1949. Yeah, I'm not speaking from married experience. That's true. That's L-O-B. Speaking from endless dating experience. When you're dating, it's a different story. I was much more attentive. Yeah. Oh, my God. Life was easier when you were dating. Setting the trap real good. Yep. Yeah.
Well, yeah, we just want to try it. Once we get you. Yeah, we got you. That's why we get fat. That's why we get lazy. Some of us. I don't think you guys have the right to blame marriage for those two things. Fat and lazy. I do. I absolutely do. Fat and happy. It's an old saying. It's probably just a lack of testosterone. Yeah. You're practically a woman. Probably like getting your wiener cut off. What do they call that, Mike? A lobotomy? No. What's it called? I can't remember. It's called a vagotomy. Vagotomy. That's what you got. Yeah. Woods, call it what it is. Your P word. Yeah, you're a big P word. Quit trying to beat her on the bus. I mean, some guys are like that because some guys have a vagotomy. Let's see. This is M1 Flower Girl from Encinitas. What's up? How's it going? Good. Good. I was thinking, I always have this argument with my brother and my boyfriend about how men like to tell stories.
Why don't you cut to the chase, all right? Yeah, what are you trying to say, Flower Girl? Get to it. Gracious. It had to be done. It had to be done. I'm sorry. You put it on the tee. It had to be done. That's what you guys do. You interrupt and make a joke and you forget. It had to be done. I'm sorry. It had to be done. Chance is Flower Girl is hot, too. She's real cute. It's in the name. Go ahead, Flower Girl. How you, Mike and Woods and Jay, all when they tell a story, will start with the background and then get to the event and then talk about the effects when women just kind of lay it all out. No, they don't. No, they don't. You give us every detail. You give us details that are so detailed. We are painting a picture. You guys are talking about stuff we don't care about. True. True story. And you should. You should listen to it and care. You should care. I'll be honest. You guys want it one way. That's true. And my wife, her stories can be interesting. Her problem is that she, like me, is ADD, and she will trail off and go into a rabbit hole. And I'm like, how did we get here? We were talking about work. What? Did you say? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Exactly. Thank you. Thank you for the call. Send us a picture. No problem. You know, men think about sex or food various times an hour.
Like a lot. Yeah. Example was Jay. Yeah. Just then. I mean, we were in an innocuous conversation that didn't have anything to do with sex. Didn't it? And Jay wanted a picture of M1 flower girl. He also said to her, what's for dinner? That is a true story. So he was thinking about food and sex. So he thought about food and sex. Gotta feed the engine. And he was thinking, 8.50, my wife Kim's not listening. I can be as much of a pig as I want. I can say whatever I want. Whether it be sex or chauvinism. Or fat. Whatever I want. Now let's see, what time will she tune in? 9.20? I'll have to start talking about being a model husband. A model father. Women should have rights. I do everything for the station. I love Occupy. All the things that will win the vote. That's right. At 920, be a good dad, good husband. But before then, ladies, I want to just look up and down your body like John Mayer writing a song. Then I want you to iron my shirt. In red high heels. Put on something nice, you slob.
Scott, I called you a slob because you're a woman. That's what I say. I want you to be filthy. Filthy. Filthy whore. Say whatever I want when I want because I'm a man. And I don't just want you to be a whore. I want you to be like an 1870s whore. 920. Women are. I mean, they're a gift. I love women. I love women. Oh, God. They're a gift. I help out at home. You know, childbirth is a miracle. Oh, my God. They work so hard. I mean, I do more than I clean in my life. I'm a good dad. That's so true. Darn near anything. You guys are monsters. Mike and I just go home and get the icy stares all day. Just a bit, babe. Sorry. 70% of people prefer Merry Christmas to Happy Holidays. Yeah. Amen to that, sister. Merry Christmas. Like it. You guys hear about the condom company in Brazil that sent the guy's Facebook friend requests from their unborn children? Is that a little creepy? A little creepy. A little creepy. And how much poop a chimp throws tells you a lot about the chimp. And I'll explain. I had to find you. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. My robotic assistant Al and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al.
Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Scion's claim certified by AMCI Testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. It's Mary at the radio. Kyrie Nation, in cooperation with Champion Sound Entertainment and 94 Nights Crunch with Bob presents reggae legend Lee Scion. Scratch Perry, coming to 4th & B December 9th. This is the upset-up. With San Diego's own Shoreline Roots, Ian Young, and DJ Carlos Coulter. Tickets on sale now. You can purchase tickets at 4th & B or on their website, www.4thandbeevents.com, or any Ticketmaster location. Cost is $25. Ages 21 and up. Here I present Mr. Lee Scratch Perry. Sunglass and Optical Warehouse has been in business. For a long time. In fact, they're San Diego's number one source for sunglasses. They have been for over 20 years. And that is the sign of a good business. They got three locations in San Diego. Sports Arena, Kearney Mesa, La Jolla Village. They're open 363 days a year. And they were San Diego Magazine's, San Diego Magazine was quoted as saying, they're the only place that you should go. If you want sunglasses, you want them, they got them.
Go get them. What's two plus two plus two? Four. Because at Denny's, for just $4, you get two fluffy buttermilk pancakes, two eggs cooked to order, and two pieces of sizzling bacon or sausage. Yeah, we're open to new math. Start your day with a $4 everyday value slam from our 2468 value menu. Only at Denny's. America's Diner is always open. Prices and participation may vary. Hey, this is LOB, and it's December, and that means what, Woodsy? It's time to get your holiday shopping done now. You've got to give the gift of great hair like ours. Oh, yeah. I've got... if I do say so myself, fabulous hair. Yeah, I've been using the Men's Max Pack, and I started using Ovation because I saw how amazing my wife Jamie's hair looked. It looked incredible. Well, not to mention my hair, which I come in here every morning just flaunting it about. Yes. Smells delicious. Smells amazing. And L.O.B., it's longer than it's ever been. It is actually longer than it's ever been. Right now is the best time for you to try Ovation because not only is it a really good price that they have going on for their holiday gift set.
But if you enter FM 949 at checkout, you're going to get a special introductory discount. We got a message that they are almost out of this holiday gift pack. They're almost sold out. You need to get in there now. So go to OvationHair.com and enter FM 949 at checkout. You're going to get that special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and enter FM 949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. This report brought to you by your San Diego International Airport. San Diego International Airport wishes you a safe and happy holiday season. They urge you to arrive one and a half hours before your flight. Get your holiday started right at sand.org. Well, it looks like we've got a little incident here on the 805 northbound at Mesa College Drive. An accident over on the right shoulder. Also, some backup on the 5 southbound as you come through Encinitas. Pretty slow from Cannon Road to Manchester Avenue. Escondido has a backup, too, on the 15 south. That's pretty slow from the 78 to Felicita. This report also brought to you by Jiffy Lube. Hurry in before year end. You could save $25 on any oil change, tire rotation, and wiper blades. Plus save up to $20 on your second oil change with a mail-in offer when you upgrade to Pennzoil Synthetic Motor Oil. Jiffy Lube. Keep my ride alive. Participating Jiffy Lube stores only. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
The good financial media station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I had the worst prom. Nobody wanted to go with me. Lauren. I'm a control freak. If I watch other people do things that I'd rather do, I'm like. Woods. I smoke a pack a day. You're going to live longer, pal. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. On FM 94.9. We think about sex 19 times a day. Men do. 19. That means we think about sex every 50 minutes. We're also thinking a lot about food. Gonna put the hot dog in the bun. Both. Yep. Yeah. Ladies, on the other hand, they think about sex an average of 10 times a day. So we think about it 19 times, we think about it 10 times a day. Now, this same study, it also said that men...
Think about food 18 times a day. So we're thinking about food pretty much as much as we're thinking about sex. Ladies were a bit lower. Ladies think about food 15 times a day. And they also think about sleeping. Yes. Eight and a half times a day. I love thinking about sleeping. You do? I love it. You think about it? More than all. More than those other two. Really? Yeah. You think about sleeping more than sex or food. Yeah. I love my sleep. I don't get enough of it. Lauren. The other two I get plenty of. Oh, my God. I get too much of one of the two. It's got to be eating. She just shook her head yes. I have a big appetite. That's what I hear. Wow.
Dirt McGirt. She is a dirty birdie. Dirt McGirt. I eat a lot. Still ambiguous. Yes. What are you thinking about sleep? What does that mean? Oh, just I should take a nap today. Thinking about your bed? Thinking about your comfortable bed? When I'm in the shower in the morning, I'm thinking about how nice it's going to be to get back into bed. Me too. I plan out. I'm like, well, we got a meeting. Get home by like 1130 and get right into bed. Grab a nap until like 1.30 or 2. See, I never really nap, so it really is a fantasy for me. Oh, I nap. I'm like, the thought about napping is like, oh, it's naughty. It's so good. It's so naughty. It's so good. It's an interesting thing. What do you, 5701949, what do you think about mostly? I think about my bosses a lot. And I always have. Really? Yes. What about? I'm always thinking about my bosses. Really? Yes.
That's so weird. I'm thinking about what they're thinking about me. Always. And I always have. Just making yourself nuts. Yes. All the time. Yeah. Listen, you're either that guy or you're not. That's true. That's me. I'm not that guy. I'm not that guy. Oh, yeah. I'm constantly, you know what it's like? This is the inside of my brain. You know those deals when you get your car washed and you do it manually? You know those crank things that you put the rag in and you turn it and it squeezes it? A squeegee. And you turn it and it squeezes? My brain is constantly running through, what does Rick Jackson think about me? What does Garrett think about me? What does Rick Jackson think about me? What does Garrett think about me? It doesn't matter. Number one ratings. Great ratings, bad ratings. It doesn't matter. What do they think about me? What are they thinking right now? What are they thinking about the show? What do they think about this? What do they think about that? Constantly. And it was like that. It's always been that way. Since I was a kid, it's always been that. I think about work a lot. And mine is not so much the bosses or like, what does Mike think of this? It's more of like content issue. Like content, content, content. I rack my brain a lot of the times thinking about it.
And sex, I think, is a little bit pervasive. I don't think I think about food and sex, but maybe I do. I do. Jay does. Jay's always thinking about sex. And food. I'll tell you what, Jay has lived a much healthier lifestyle than me and you, but when you start making changes to your, like I've tried to get a better diet going, evidenced by the Chris sandwich that I ate this morning from Burger King. And the McDonald's that I had yesterday for breakfast on the way to my baseball game. But, like, last week, I ate really, really good. But, you know, I was walking in the store going, I see you. I see you, you little cookie. Oh, my God. I see you. I mean, I was fantasizing about bad food. It was awful. It's true. If you work out more, you tend to think more about, like, getting another workout in. At least I think. No way. You think about food. I don't. I think it is everything. Get your testosterone levels up. Get your fired up. If I'm working out, I'll be like, the next day I'll be like, oh, I need to get that again. That was a good drug. Oh, yeah. Rebecca was very busy last night. Ooh. I don't even understand that. She was busy. I thought we were talking about sex. It had to be either sex or food you were talking about. Yeah. It's the only place his mind goes. No, I meant she was sending out Christmas cards.
Oh, is that what we're calling it now? Oh, sweet candy cane. Maybe she sends one my way. This is your wife we're talking about, right? Mother of your children. Someone's daughter. The kids get me on the card. That's creepy. Yeah, that's creepy. I got me. Well, that's the absurdity of what you're saying, you clown. Sandusky Christmas card. So I said, I said, hey, honey. You know what I want for dinner? Kentucky Fried Chicken or Chipotle. Nice. And she goes, she goes, cool. Good for you. It's because it's my birthday weekend. Yeah. So I was like, oh, man. Two feet in a heartbeat. Yeah. Did she give you the birthday weekend bit? Hey, she played it perfectly. She played the card. It worked. Tongue in cheek when she said it? Oh, no. It was her birthday.
Of course it's serious. Happy birthday. It was her actual birthday. Her birthday was Saturday. Now. This was Sunday. I had a choice. Oh, boy. I could either go out, venture about into the night's air. Wow. And by night, you mean about 3.30 p.m. yesterday? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Or I could have potato chips for dinner. Oh, my God. Please tell me you ventured. Yeah. I had potato chips for me. Holy cow! Why would you just go out and get her dinner, too? I bet she was hungry. The epitome of lazy. Kim must be listening. Jay's wife, Kim, is listening. 908. Kim's listening. Mike, you didn't go out and rustle something up for your wife? I mean, that's what a real man would do. You know what I do on Sundays? I fix dinner for my whole family. We actually got on our mountain bikes. We got on our mountain bikes and we rode down to the local market and they were having a fair outside. They had all kinds of gifts on sale. So we walked through there and then we bought pizza and then we rode our bikes home. Yeah, and then we renewed our vows. Did you tell them all your pervasive sex thoughts the whole way?
No, because I was with my family. Who's listening right now, by the way? Yes. What are you talking about? Yeah, I would never do such a thing. I would never talk about that. And M1 Nation, what you heard in 8 o'clock hour, you just keep your mouth shut, all right? Just forget all about that stuff. Those are comedy jokes. You cannot eat chips for dinner. You're a 41-year-old man. Come on, Mike. 41-year-old man. Listen. Come on, dude. Listen, this weekend was my wife's birthday. We went and did a staycation. We stayed at a hotel. When I came home, Rebecca had instructed against my wishes for them to throw away leftovers. So I opened the thing up and all the leftovers. Where's my bird? Where's my stuffing? Where's my green bean casserole? From Thanksgiving? Yeah. Creep. Oh, please grow up already. Ew. Dude. It's 10 days old. It's 10 days old. It's a refrigerator. It's kept it cold. Cold and nice. What are you, an 1877 settler? You don't eat food 10 days old. I agree with you. I ate the rest of ours last night. Ew. And I put the asparagus that was from Thanksgiving in my omelet from this morning. Oh, my God. What's wrong with it? Was it good? It was fantastic. I bet it was great. Absolutely. Hey, it's called a refrigerator. It refrigerates things.
Keeps it nice and refrigerated. You should just throw it out, Lauren, because the kids in Haiti would love to have it. First of all, it goes bad. You can get salmonella poisoning. Can you? You can. It exists. It's not like I left it out on the counter. I wouldn't make so much that it would still be there for 10 days. I didn't. I didn't have any leftovers. You can't do that. Ten days. Perfect. Clean fridge. That's about it. You guys shouldn't be gluttonizing in the first place. Opened up the fridge. There's nothing in there. I'm, like, opening up cabinets. Yeah, several times. Yeah. Hoping something's appeared. I opened the same cabinet three times, thinking that between then, Chipotle would pop in there. Oh, yeah. I opened up the same cabinet. Ah, still ketchup. Baby food. Baby food and a couple of cans of tomato sauce. But when I come back next time, there won't be any black beans, there won't be any tomato sauce. Big, big thing of chipotle wrapped up in a tinfoil. But there was a bag of potato chips. You...
What would you do? I would have gone to get something. No, man. It takes too much time. It takes too much time. Listen, I'll give this to you. I know where you live. I used to live really close to you. There's nothing near that. Are you kidding me? No, there's one place. I feel like a pioneer. I know. There's one place. It's five minutes. It's five minutes. It's 30 minutes each way. I know where both of you live now and then. You know what I don't want? I don't want to come to a complete stop. I don't want to wait for that stupid light. I don't want to... That's what it is. Every man is like this. Yes. It's not just me. It's JJ. Give me fuck. Matt and I went on a hike yesterday. And on our way back, we passed your neighborhood, Mike. Great trails. And my boyfriend, Matt Comer, said, Mikey. And I said, you know what? There's some great trails back by Mike's house. And he said, oh, yeah? Percentage of chance that he's been on them. And I said, zero. Zero. Wow. How's that hiking coming?
Calling you out. Yeah. Matt just sitting there with his great body. Yeah, his perfect body. Talking about fatty. He wanted to ask you about them. Yeah, Mr. Washboard Abs is calling out chubs. Why does he have washboard abs? Because he works out all the time. No, it's just the way he was born. He was born. Hey, a lot of people are born with good genetics. I know a lot of them. And other people just eat and sleep. You know what I mean? A lot. I'm just talking about two guys that I know. A chimp that throws poop is smarter than a chimp that doesn't throw poop. It's also smarter than Jay. It's a true story. Chimps that throw poop are smarter than chimps that don't. Well, of course, they're getting rid of it. They don't want it around. They're much smarter. That's their way of communicating. I don't get that feeling. I don't get a feeling of communication, and I don't get a feeling of they're trying to get rid of it. I get a feeling that they're up to shenanigans. I get a feeling that they're jackass. They're clever. I think they know it makes us crazy. They have a sense of humor. Yeah. Could be. But either way, they just did a study that says that chimpanzees that do that, which, by the way, I've never seen. Me neither. I've seen chimpanzees at the zoo a thousand times. I've never seen them throw poop. I've seen them do worse. Really? Why don't they save that money? Yeah. And use it for something important. Woods, I didn't have to look up to see that hand motion. Don't do that again, please. I'm just asking you. I'm just asking you. Just shaking a cocktail. No, you're not. Oh, man. No, you weren't. Shaking a cocktail. You weren't shaking a cocktail. Some Japanese guy got it on film.
Here are the popular baby names for 2011. What do you think? Ballin. These are all white guys. These are all white dudes. Ballin's not on the list. Jay loves the name Ballin. Claims that it was one of the top names of 2011. No, I said it was a bad name. This should be called the top 100 white people names for 2011. Top 100 names from Rancho Santa Fe. Yes. Numero uno for girls. Sophia. Pretty. Numero uno for boys, Aiden. You don't get a lot of Mexicans naming their kid Aiden. No. You just don't. There's not going to be a lot of Hispanics born today, and they're going to go, oh, yo soy Aiden. Soy Amo es Aiden. Aiden. Number two for chicks, Emma. Number two for boys, Jackson.
Number three for girls, Isabella. All of these old-fashioned Italian women's names. Sophia, Emma, Isabella, Olivia, Ava, Lily, Chloe, Madison. Madison's been a big player for years. Emily, Abigail, Addison, Mia, Madeline, Ella, Ella, Ella. And for the boys, Aiden, Jackson, Mason, Liam, you are a white man if you name your kid Liam. And there is no doubt about it. There is 100% chance. Jacob, Jaden, Ethan, Noah, Lucas, Logan, Caleb, Caden, Jack, Connor, Ryan, Michael, Elijah, Braden, Benjamin, Nicholas. Alexander, these are the top names. 2011. I think I know kids with all those names. Me too. Sure. Yeah, they're all at Gymboree. Mom said that her nine-year-old got suspended for calling the teacher cute. So now apparently you can sexually harass at the age of nine years old. That is not sexual harassment. Holy cow. That's just a funny kid. That's a little Lothario in training, dude. Guess what the kid's name was. What?
Chiquita. Hey. Chiquita Lockett. That's got to be a girl, right? Chiquita Lockett. No, no, that's a mom. Chiquita. Chiquita Lockett said that her nine-year-old son, Emaneia. Emaneia. Save that clip. A cousin of yours, Mike? Mikey saying that. Emaneia. Emaneia. Spent the last two days at home. The principal of Brookside Elementary. Called her on Wednesday to say that this was a form of sexual harassment. Oh, my. Oh, get over yourself. Told the teacher that the teacher was cute. He's probably trying to be like that little Manny from Modern Family. Yeah. Very adult. Yeah. You know? Yeah. He didn't say he wanted to get with her. He just said, hey, you're cute. Yeah. That's nice. It depends on how he said it. Oh, you are cute. It would be her job as a teacher to say, Emmanuel, that's inappropriate. Yeah, not go tell the principal and get him brought up on sexual harassment charges. I don't think it's inappropriate to tell your teacher they're cute. Me neither. Kids say the darndest, don't they? Yeah. By nine, it starts to be obnoxious. Well, she can tell him that, and if he does it again. Yeah, he wasn't naked when he said it. You don't know that. Or was he? Or was he? Let's see. How about this one?
A condom company in Brazil sent guys Facebook friend requests from their unborn kids. Here's what they did. Targeted a group of guys on Facebook, created a phony Facebook profile for each guy's unborn kid, then sent the guy a friend request from the fake unborn kid. Each one was given the same name as the guy with a junior added at the end. Brilliant. Underneath the friend request was the message. Avoid surprises like this one. Use Hola condoms. Brilliant marketing. Do you think? I think so. Bad taste or is it okay? That's fine. They're just doing bits. Yeah, they're doing bits. Bet it worked. Yeah. Bet it didn't. A 36-year-old guy was trying to kill a squirrel that ran up his leg with his .22 caliber rifle. And he missed and shot his foot. Weird.
Why is the squirrel running up his leg? Yeah. This is a clown squirrel. Well, listen, I had bait attached to my leg. What are the odds that at the time a squirrel is running up his leg, he's got a .22 caliber handy? Just a squirrel trying to get a nut. I guess so. That's right. Don't forget, on Friday, L-O-B and J are going to be on the corners of Fryer and Frazee. Aren't you? Wearing bikinis, butt with robes over it, and then we're going to do a... Pop culture trivia. Whoever loses has to drop the robe. It's going to be cold out there. I cannot wait. Remember that. Shrinkage. Yeah, L-O-B. Remember that. Shrinkage. Don't blame the cold weather, Jay. Can't help it. Preemptive, huh? It's a real deal. Preemptive. Smart. Savvy. Got to get that out there. Yeah, because he knows. He knows what he's packing. He knows what he's got.
So he wants to blame it preemptively on cold weather. I believe it's going to be in the mid-60s. So you'll be fine. You should be fine then. Everyone will get to see what a monster you are. Fettuccine Alfredo. Angel hair pasta. Identical fettuccine, identical husk. What's a kibasa? What is it, Jay? It's a kielbasa. It's a kielbasa. Yeah. You're telling me it's a kielbasa? Yeah. Save that clip. Kielbasa. Go ahead. Say it's a fettuccine. It ain't. It's a kielbasa. Why? Oh, God. I blew a gas. Slim Jim. I blew a gas. I blew a gas. Lip gloss. It works like that. Chapstick. If the chapstick. We're put into a microwave that shrinks stuff. Not talking about you, Mikey. Whatever. I'm rubber. You're a glue. Madonna's playing the Super Bowl. Thank goodness. She's the halftime show. Perfect. She's relevant. I see that. I mean, it's better than, to me, it's better than the boss. That's me. You're crazy. It's better than the black-eyed peas, I will say. I'll give you that one, too. It's better than Janet Jackson.
Justin Timberlake. It's a true statement. What about... I'd rather see Nickelback than Madonna. No, you would. Yes, I would. It's not true. You wash your mouth out with soap right now. Who's Brooke Moeller? She was Charlie Sheen's old girl. His ex. Got busted for coke possession. Weird. Wasn't he screaming that she was on coke? She's jacked up. It's on. She just got busted. Bring it. There's a photo of her, and she's beautiful. Yeah, she's a pretty girl. I'm going to hang out with these two smoking hotties. Why do you say smoking like that, Charlie? Smoking. As I said, the first one's free. The next one goes in your mouth. Yeah, she got arrested Friday night in Aspen, Colorado. A lot of snow in Aspen. Let it snow. Let it snow, yeah. Snow-covered hills in Aspen. That's right. Sometimes addiction just isn't.
This isn't funny. Hey, it was a felony, so that means she had a lot of cocaine. She's toast. Cocaine is a hell of a drug. It was really loud. Cocaine will do that to you. Screaming. Yeah. Twilight was number one for the third weekend. $16.9 million. Yeah. That Twilight movie. Breaking Dawn. The Dracula movie. Yeah, the Dracula film. $16.9 million. Should I go see it, Mike, in your opinion? Because you saw it. You're the only one on our show that's seen it. Not fair. I wonder if Nicole's seen it. She's 19. Nicole, have you seen the new? No, okay. You're just a 19-year-old girl. She's a 19-year-old girl. In comparison to the other three that you saw, do you think that that's... Which one stands out the best? And I'm being sincere because I'm thinking about going to see it, but I don't want to waste my time. Eclipse is the best one, but that's only because I had to watch. Was that the second one? Third. I haven't seen the third. Jacob-centric. Yeah, he loves Jacob. So far, the movie's made $247 million in the U.S. Is that a lot? I'm really thrown off. Because Call of Duty, the new Call of Duty, sold $400 million in one day. I'm with you. I don't know why the biggest-name actors in Hollywood are not on...
all of these different video games. It seems to me video games make a lot more money than movies. In one day, $400 million in sales for the Modern Warfare 3. They have voiceovers, like Ice-T does some voiceover work for the games. I'm talking like, how come Tom... Yeah, Brad Pitt. And Brad Pitt. George Clooney. Because it goes totally against what the gamers are, you know. And plus it's... Whoa, it's gamers ethics? Yeah, yeah. We don't even see their faces. All you see is hands. I know, but you're telling me gamers would be like anti... Yeah, why do we want to have Tom Cruise talking about? Yeah, what did Tom Cruise want? Why do I need him? And why would they want to pay somebody millions of dollars to be in a video where it could be like, you know, anybody's voice talking like, hey. Well, Seth Rogen and a couple other actors did the trailer for it. The trailer for it, yeah. Yeah, but Jay makes good sense. Jay's making sense. They don't have to. They just saw that game regardless. Because then they'd have to pay them. Now they're like, oh, we just use animation. Yeah, that's the answer. They don't have to. Well, really the main point is why get Tom Cruise when you can have iced tea? Why get Tom Cruise when you can have Joe Schmoe? Right. And Craig Gass said that he got paid to imitate Al Pacino. Yeah.
They get a lot of grief, though, whenever, like in the Gamer magazine, they'll get a lot of grief when the voiceover's not done well, when you can tell that they're very reedy. Really? Yeah, they'll go, gosh. You read Gamer magazines? Well, it comes. It's free with my subscription. It's G-A-Y-M-E-R. Oh, wow. Hey, it just tells you about upcoming games that you're going to want to check out so you don't waste your money. They rate them 10 stars. Do you buy it? It comes free with my GameStop subscription because I get early. Early in on games. It's almost 50. Do you play that while you're on a mountain bike or while you're skateboarding? Yeah, while you're surfing, while you're skating. After I've done all my workouts. While you're making love. I probably worked out like five or six times this weekend. So then when I got home at night, I would play a little video game. So when do you spend time with your family then? I went on a bike ride with the family. I like to treat myself. It's different now that I'm older. I don't treat myself like I used to when I was younger. Now I play video games with my friend Adam. By friend, I mean girlfriend. My girlfriend. Speaking of girlfriends, we got an email. Says, my son's girlfriend is a very cool girl. I'm a young dad like Jay. I'm hip. First of all, if you're calling yourself hip. You're not hip. You're not hip. Says, I'm hip. She comes dressed really skanky around the family. Oh, yeah. She seems like a great girl, but I can't get past the...
way she dresses. Grandma doesn't need to see that. Can I say something to my son? 570-194-9. Your thoughts about it. I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42. Be part of the show. 570-194-9. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. That's the sound of a fuse burning. As long as it's burning. There's still time to get to the BMW Mission to Drive sales event on now at your local BMW center. While you can, take advantage of an up to $2,500 credit toward a new BMW. Hmm, those are real sparks. Test drive any model from the legendary lineup, including the all-new 6 Series, featured in the new movie Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol, in theaters this December. Technologically advanced and fuel-efficient, every BMW earns the title The Ultimate Driving Machine.
That fuse is burning down remarkably fast. Take advantage of this immediately, as the $2,500 credit will soon self-destruct. There. I made it with two inches of fuse to spare. Don't cut it that close. Come in today. Hurry into the BMW Mission to Drive sales event today for an up to $2,500 credit towards a new 2012 BMW. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. My favorite instrument is the triangle. My favorite flavor is caramel. My favorite animal is the seahorse. My favorite word is undulating. My favorite parent is my mom. Sorry, Dad. My favorite McCafe drink? I can't pick just one. Come take a fresh look at McCafe's luscious beverages made just for you with real whipped cream, rich chocolate, and drizzled indulgently with caramel. Whether it's the new caramel hot chocolate or an iced or hot caramel mocha, stop in today to find your new favorite, the simple joy of caramel at participating McDonald's. Listen to this. What? You know what? You better sit down. But we're in an elevator. Trust me. Sit down. Fine. Ow. Oh, sorry. It's okay. It's back. What's back? It. You mean? Yep.
Awesome. Excuse me, what's back? McRib. Tender pork. Slathered and tangy barbecue sauce. Pickles. Onions. Toasted bun. I love McRib. Can I get your number? The McRib sandwich is back for a limited time. Just $2.79. Only at McDonald's. Price and participation may vary. Hey gang, it's your old pal Woodsy. I gotta tell you about the FM 94.9 Pigskin Pick'em. It is awesome. We have teamed up with Expressly Gourmet. and you can show off your football smarts and win some really cool stuff. If you pick the most right against Mikey, Hillary, me, and the rest of the FM 94.9 jocks, you can score a $50 gift certificate to Expressly Gourmet. What they'll do, they bring restaurants from all over San Diego right to your door. Check out expresslygourmet.com for yourself. Think about it. You get to go head-to-head with me, Hanson, Mikey, Hillary, and show us what you've got, okay? Then you can enjoy some of San Diego's best restaurants. You don't even have to leave your doorstep. Sign up now. Join in the fun of the FM 94.9 pigskin pick'em today at fm949sd.com. If you pick the most right, you can score a $50 gift certificate to Expressly Gourmet from Expressly Gourmet and FM 94.9. Tis the season to win. Cox and Hornblower cruises and events are teaming up and giving away free seafarer passes while supplies last. All you have to do is log on to this station's website and enter for your chance to win.
Also, you'll be automatically entered into the drawing for a free Sony Blu-ray disc player. Tis the season to win with Cox and Hornblower Cruises and Events. Sony Blu-ray given away at end of promotion on January 16, 2012. Are you looking for the absolute best place to buy a pair of high-quality, brand-name sheepskin boots or slippers and at the best price? Boot World is San Diego's home of sheepskin, and I'm here to tell you why. This is Ed Stone, president of Boot World. Boot World has the largest selection of the most popular, quality, brand-name sheepskin. Ugg Australia, Aussie Dogs, Stahikam, and Old Friend. You'll find a huge selection of all the classics and lots of unique styles to help you make your own personal statement without driving all over town. Plus, Boot World has carefully selected and priced our sheepskin boots and slippers to have the absolute finest product in each price range. This is quality that will be enjoyed for years to come. Boot World wants to help you get the sheepskin footwear you want, so don't wait. Come in now to Boot World while the selection of boots and slippers for men, women, and children are at their best. You'll find the sheepskin you want at San Diego's Home of Sheepskin. Boot World on Convoy in Kearney Mesa.
Plaza Comino Real in Carlsbad, San Marcos, El Cajon, Chula Vista, Midway Drive, and BootWorld.com. If you like Jimmy, and if you like Willie, you're going to love Lucas Nelson and Promise of the Real, appearing live on behalf of Jobs for Autism, Saturday, December 10th, 8.30 p.m. at the North Park Theater, 2891 University Avenue. See this next legend of rock and roll? You'll be blown away. Tickets available online at jobsforautism.com. Be there. My robotic assistant, Al, and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Size claim certified by AMCI testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. Come on, man. Wake up. Good morning. Wake up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Woods. I just try not to be the dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. It's 5 o'clock in the morning.
Conversation got boring. You said you'd go into bed soon. So I snuck off to your bed. Just wait there. This is M1 Jason from Scripps Ranch. What's up? Hey, how's it going, Mikey? Good. Hey, just as your resident gamer, I just wanted to kind of comment about how expensive these video games are to make nowadays. I'm sure y'all have seen Sam Worthington on the ads. He's been doing the voiceovers for them for quite some time. Who's Sam Worthington? That's the Avatar actor, main guy. Okay. So he's been doing the voiceovers for a while, and yeah, they made $400 million on the first day, but it's almost costing three quarters of that to make these games nowadays. Are you kidding me? Wow. It is extremely expensive. I got a buddy up in L.A. that works on these things all the time, and he says just the manpower to make video games nowadays is nuts. Why doesn't it just take a computer?
No, there's a lot of guys. It's kind of like how Pixar is. They've got a real big force to actually making it for all the animation and everything. There's a lot of people working on video games nowadays. I've seen a couple deals when they do sports games, and they'll have Phillip Rivers go into a studio, and he's in front of a green screen, and he's got this costume on. It's got these balls all over it, and it shows his throwing motion. It's very accurate these days. It's got to take. It's got to make you insane. You have to be a little bit crazy. But doesn't it cost a ton of money to make movies, too? And you've got to pay the actors and there's crew. You know what I mean? I would have never in a million years thought that it cost that much money to make the video game. You always say how much you want to direct a movie. It would make me insane. I couldn't do the detail. Really? It would make me. I think about it all the time. And I watch movies and I go, God, they had to stop. Yeah, it's boring. Reset, you know, like it's just, it would make me nuts. I just thought about it in my head and I thought, well, for me, it's when this is all done. Right. This will hopefully make me very pleased to go, wow, I did that. What if it didn't? No, that's not an option. That is not an option. That's why guys work on movies for 10 years. Yeah, it wouldn't be seen. Right. It wouldn't be seen. Yeah. M1 Kirk from Encinitas.
doing good man too on the game industry it's something that i've been a part of both professionally and personally for a long time too um according to figures from last year the video game industry which encompasses not only console games but pc games mobile games and online games global estimate was about 105 billion for last year alone oh my god whoa wrong business the movie industry by way of comparison is usually hover somewhere between $15 and $25 billion per year. That's not including Asia and India, which have their own industries, but they don't really track it the way that Hollywood does. Oh, my. We're in the wrong business. Yeah, big time. We're in the wrong business. I was going to say, too, there's some games out there that you may have heard of, like Oblivion, that they get big-name actors, like Patrick Stewart, who was Captain Picard. Yes. He was a main character in one of these games. I mean, actors are really starting to pick up and go more about that, do more voiceover work. There's a new Star Wars game coming out later this month that actually has several hundred digital characters that are going to be voiced by professional Hollywood actors. Nice. Yeah, it's huge. Hey, thanks, man. Greetings. Greetings. Wayne Gretzky's daughter apparently likes to tweet some Dirk McGirt. Ooh, mamacita.
And so she's 22. She tweeted having a nice sit down dinner with my dad about social media. Ha ha. Then wrote taking a break from Twitter for a bit. Happy holidays. XOXO. She's 22. What can dad say? Well, what can dad? She's 22. What can dad say? Technically grounded. Get off Twitter. Listen, listen, you your dad told you something one time and you took it to heart and you were an adult. You can make your own decisions. But I'll tell you what, man. He had, this Wayne Gretzky, like, he's the great one. That's his nickname. And he's like, look, our family has an image to uphold. They really do. Yeah. And when you're out shaking your tail, you got a bottle of vodka in one hand, you're kissing another girl, I can't have that. I can't have people thinking my daughter's out of control. Oh, get that. I get that. Yeah, no way. She didn't have to do it. She did it on her own accord. Yeah. Out of respect for him. Yeah. Dude, and I'll tell you what. I saw all the pictures. She is a foxy, foxy girl. Well, I'm in sports. What was she doing? That. Exactly that. Like, out at clubs, boobs hanging out, kissing other girls. Like, you know, just wild. With vodka bottles and stuff? Just wild. She's a wild child. And gorgeous. Well, yeah. What's Gretz going to do about it? I guess he did. Yeah, tell her not to. Okay. You're always your dad. He managed to stay out of the limelight. He really did. His entire career. Yep. Yeah. Let's see.
570-1949 is the phone number if you want to give us a call. Hey, Woodsy is a musician. Played on Friday night. How'd it go? Cover musician. How did it go? It was good. It was good. We had a great crowd, great turnout, and I kind of blew out my voice. I wasn't feeling good all week, as you guys know, and kind of blew out my voice. I was a little too ambitious on one song and kind of made a joke about it being a little too ambitious. But the rest of the set went really good. It was a lot of fun. Jay had a garage sale over the weekend. Yeah. He has one like every weekend. Do you? No, it's been, we've had two. And he says that start at 7 o'clock in the morning, opens the garage, and there's people there 30 minutes early. Oh, it makes me crazy. How do you, do you like post it on Craigslist? Craigslist, and I put signs up the night before. Yeah, people, there's like a whole underground subculture of people that. Go to garage sales. Really love garage sales. Oh, yeah. It's creepy, though, because I've been watching The Walking Dead. So as the garage door went up and they were all standing there like, one guy tried looking down underneath the door like he's going to crawl in. I'm like, dude, we're bringing everything out. And they're asking 100 questions. And all my answers were, hey, right now it's 40 bucks for whatever you ask for. And when I get the stuff out, I'll price it. Otherwise, get off of me. Wow. I got yelled at by a woman for not having it ready when I said I would.
Unbelievable. And she spat off. I was like, sorry. Sorry. My first time. My first time. I find that women are a lot ballsier in their vehicles than men. Let me tell you what I mean. I was driving into a place and I made a mistake. I made a mistake. I wanted to turn right. And instead of turning right, I was proceeding forward, had nothing to do with this woman, wasn't impeding on her progress, wasn't putting her out in any way. She simply saw me make a mistake and rolled her eyes and made the face that said, unbelievable. And I was like, oh, wow. Unbelievable. You don't feel rage boil up in your body when she does that? What I thought to myself was, really? I mean, come on.
You got nothing else to do? I mean, but guys, we don't, I thought, and I made a mental note. I thought, we don't communicate that way unless I just don't see it a lot. Oh, I see way more men than women. You do it, Woodsy? Oh, yeah. We'll just silently, you know, roll our eyes or curse at you in the car. Guys will do the horn, the speed off, the wheel peel, all that. There's only one thing that makes me upset. That gives me road rage inside of a parking lot or whatever. There's only one thing that really upsets me. And that is when it's their fault and they look pissed. Yes. That upsets me. When somebody comes blazing around a corner and you slam your brakes on because they're blazing around a corner. And they look at you like, oh my gosh. And then I'm like, okay, all right. I don't know how you do it. I don't know how you tamp it down because I lose my, I was driving to my gig actually Friday night downtown and I pull up and I'm like, I'm going to take a right. So you know how you kind of inch right? This guy was walking across the crosswalk, decided to drop an F-bomb at me. Oh, wow. And dude, I window down and I unleashed on him and he walked away because he knew that I was running late and I wasn't in a good mood anyway. Yeah.
I saw, I almost followed someone. I almost turned around and followed someone. Yeah. Just to call the police and give their license plate. What did they do? I wasn't at a safe spot to do so. First, he was texting while he was making a turn. He came out, cut, like didn't have enough time to go, was texting, came out, went into oncoming traffic, then overcorrected and went up on the side of the road into somebody's lawn. Oh, my gosh. Awful lawn. And the entire time, his head was still down. Oh, wow. Still looking at his phone. Oh. I know. I almost followed him, but I couldn't find a safe spot to turn around. 570-1949. What makes you the craziest? Textures. Email.com. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Oh, honey, that turkey was cooked to perfection. Sometimes people need to tell teensy tiny little fibs for the sake of preserving holiday harmony. Me, I don't know you or your turkey. I'm just a spokesman for fine Honda automobiles. So when I say you can get a Honda for one of the best deals all year right now during Happy Honda Days, it's no holiday hyperbole. Well-qualified buyers can get an incredible 0.9% APR financing on cars like the Accord, the most durable, longest-lasting car in its class. Or the Civic, the best-selling small car in America. I'm just a spokesman spoken it like it is.
So see your Honda dealer today. To my sister-in-law, Jane, if you're listening, that aromatherapy candle that you sent me smells heavenly. Truly. See your Honda dealers of San Diego County today. Durability based on longevity. Longevity based on Polk U.S. vehicles in operation. Registration statistics 1998 to 2010 for cord and competing models. Best-selling claim based on Polk U.S. retail registration. Small car segment January 2008 to August 2011. See dealer for financing details. Gonna go to Postal Annex. I'm going to wrap my holidays up. Color printing, brochures, flyers, documents copied, documents found. I take a passport photo, fax a message, check my mail, notarize it, laminate it, find it, mail it, dun, dun, dun. Why drive all over town this holiday season or get locked into one choice for shipping? Wrap it up with one stop at your neighborhood postal annex.
Save gas. Save time. Save money. Mail the cards. Pack the presents. Ship the gifts. I'm all done. Postal Annex. The sound of business. Compare FedEx, UPS, and postal rates for your best option. Postal Annex. It's a drag and a trial. When I bought my cheap insurance. Should have known this day would come. Now I've had an accident and I'm feeling quite alone. Called them at least 20 times. But they won't pick up the phone. Without personal service, my policy's kind of worthless. Guess I should have stayed at State Farm. That's right. I didn't think it meant because they're probably all the same. I told myself, who needs top shelf? Now I'm questioning my mental health. Maybe they can take me back. I hope it's not too late to get to a better state.
But don't put yourself in a state you'll regret. Call 1-877-249-7993 today. My favorite instrument is the triangle. My favorite flavor is caramel. My favorite animal is the seahorse. My favorite word is undulating. My favorite parent is my mom. Sorry, Dad. My favorite McCafe drink? I can't pick just one. Come take a fresh look at McCafe's luscious beverages made just for you with real whipped cream, rich chocolate, and drizzled indulgently with caramel. Whether it's the new caramel hot chocolate or an iced or hot caramel mocha, stop in today to find your new favorite, the simple joy of caramel at participating McDonald's. Listen to this. What? You know what? You better sit down. But we're in an elevator. Trust me. Sit down. Fine. Ow. Oh, sorry. It's okay. It's back. What's back? It. You mean? Yep. Awesome. Excuse me, what's back? McRib. Tender pork. Slathered and tangy barbecue sauce. Pickles. Onions. Toasted bun. I love McRib. Can I get your number? The McRib sandwich is back for a limited time. Just $2.79. Only at McDonald's. Price and participation may vary. Safe and sound. Two words often taken for granted. Yet today in the world of banking, they are more vital than ever.
Welcome to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union. It is not just how we treat your money. It is how we treat you. Safe and sound. Because you wouldn't expect anything less. Mission Federal Credit Union. Our personal service will impress you. Our products will inspire you. With great rates on home loans and car loans. 22 local branches. Access to 28,000 fee-free ATMs. Plus, no monthly fees for debit card use. A sound, stable, satisfying banking experience. Mission Federal Credit Union. Safe and sound. Open a new account today. Stop by any of our local branches or go to missionfed.com. Mission Federal Credit Union. Your success is our bottom line. All accounts and loans are subject to approval. Mission Fed is federally insured by the NCUA and is an equal housing lender. Happy holidays. Welcome to REI. Can I help you? My dad is impossible to shop for. GoPro HD2 outdoor camera. He'd like that. And my mom already has everything. Prana twisty pullover sweater. Except that. And my sister always borrows my... Kids REI down jacket. Here comes my mom. Hook me up, okay? We know what you need and have all the outdoor gifts they'll love. With expert help in-store and online, we offer 100% guaranteed satisfaction with every gift you buy. REI. Find out. Visit REI in Chula Vista at Otay Ranch Town Center, Encinitas, and San Diego. Or shop REI.com. My robotic assistant Al and I have tested out the new Scion IQ.
Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Size claim certified by AMCI Testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. Tickets, please. With Mikey. I'm a pretty honest guy and I've been a pretty honest guy for many years. Woods. I'll never forget it as long as I live. It was some village in Africa. She had like 60 of those rings around her neck and just boobs hanging out. Lauren. You know what I think the scariest thing is about clowns? They don't say anything. Yeah, that's right. Even though they can talk. And Jay. Just a man trying to do the right thing. On FM 94.9. All right, let's see. Let's see. This is M1 Jake from Encinitas. Are you there, Jake?
Jake, you say that Woodsy has cut you off in traffic before. Really? Now, how do you know it's Woods? Because he had a Yankee hat on, and it was him. I know it was him. I know it was him. You're 100%. I'm 100% positive that it was Wood. Where were we? No, it's my street. What did I do? You were pulling into a driveway, but you got over on the wrong side of the road about three houses beforehand, and you were coming right at me. I'm like, dude, this guy's going to hit me. You know why? Because I live on that street. So I was trying to get in my driveway. It's like, hey, will you give me this, that that street is like the Grand Prix? It is. It's the Grand Prix, and it's almost like if you don't get in, you're not going to get in. So in order to get in my driveway, I probably did, like, jump right in front of him just to pull into my house. I guess you could stop and put your blinker on. You could. That would make a lot of sense. Why didn't? Because the traffic. He got mad. He looked at me like, I'm like, dude, and I can't, like, do anything because I work for, like, a public utility company. I'm like.
I just got to wave and be like, okay, this dude totally can't. I noticed it was him, and I started laughing. That's about right. I'll give you that. 100%. It was one time. It was one time, but it was hilarious. It was one time. Yeah, you know, I was probably having a bad day. We're all entitled. Yes. I might have had to poo, and I wanted to get home. Yeah. He's looking at me like, dude, you're driving on the right side of the street. That wasn't your problem. Yeah. There you go. Thank you for the call. Now somebody's calling in to bust me. Somebody's calling. Oh, no way. No way. M1 Juanito from Vista. Are you there? I am here. Juanito says that I tried to race him. We pulled up at the Minute Clinic on Rancho Santa Fe. You were at the stoplight. I just got off of work at Home Depot, and I saw you, and I tried to say hi. So I tried to pull up next to you, and I think you thought that I was trying to race, and you just took it off. That's true. That's true. That's right by you. Yeah. Mario Andretti. Maybe the light turned green and I was just going. It's a nice BMW drive, though. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Thank you for the call. Maybe he just had food in the car that he just wanted to get home to eat.
You do take off quick from the start, but then you breeze at about five under the speed limit. That's a true statement. Mike has left the studio ten minutes before me, and I've passed him on the way all the time. Listen, I never claim to be a great driver. I'm just, you know. You're fast and aggressive. I'm aggressive. And fast. And fast. And doesn't pay attention. What? Nobody is a worse driver than that clown in there. Never driven. I've never driven with Jay. Oh, dude. Dude, he drives 150 miles an hour everywhere he goes. In and out, weaving in and out. Weaving, yes. I like to weave. You do? Oh, God, he weaves. Are you a weaver? I like to get in there and get around. He drives a gas-guzzling machine. Yeah, Mr. Environmentalist driving a huge SUV. I need something to haul my gear around. What gear do you have to come to work? My surfboard, my mountain bike. M1C Mac from Carlsbad. Hey, you know what? The one type of person that just kills me is the person driving the Toyota Prius trying to get the maximum gas mileage out of their piece of you-know-what vehicle. They can't stand it. They drive terrible. They don't signal. They don't look where they're going because they're so wanting to know what freaking gas mileage is. They're staring at us. Thank you for the call. Thank you.
You know, they're expensive cars, too. Yeah. The ones that are the most fuel efficient are the ones that are really expensive. So does it really end up saving you? I don't know. I don't know. Especially like diesel, man. Those diesel cars. Diesel costs a lot of money. The actual fuel. Diesel fuel costs a lot now. Geezer Bandit was at it again. We mentioned this earlier, but he struck again in San Luis Obispo, but screwed up this time. Did it on Friday. This makes the 16th holdup. Wow. Man. But this time, one of the packets blew up. The exploding die. Die pack. Yep. So it ruined his money. If I was a betting man, I'd say that was his last hit. I bet. You think he's going to call it a day? He's like, that was way too close. He's like, I'm getting sloppy now. If he were a movie and he had any sort of team with him, they'd come in and he'd be like... GD. That kind of stuff can't happen. We're done. I thought you were a pro. Well, and here's the thing, too. I have a feeling that a lot of this isn't necessarily motivated by money. Thrill. It's the adrenaline. Yeah. I get the feeling that, like, he said last time was his last one. He went back for one more, and he was like, you know what? I'll hit up this sleepy little town, and I'll just drive up the coast.
And he did it, and he wouldn't have thought that the one little sleepy little town would have gotten him. Hey, listen, I wouldn't want to hurt anybody, and I wouldn't want anybody to be scared, but I wonder what it's like. We'll never know. We're not going to rob a bank. No, man, I watch a lot of those movies. You know, one of my favorite movies is The Town. And when you watch those cats, and they are in that van, and they put those masks on, and they pull up to that bank, you're like, boom, boom. And Heat, if you've ever seen the movie Heat. So nervous. Oh, my God. It makes my skin crawl. That's why those movies are so good. Yeah. Because they're so realistic. I love the town. Oh. And I mean, they know, if I get busted, I'm going away for a long time. Yeah, long time. You know? Oh, man. It would be, I am so not a thrill seeker in that regard. Like, I don't like that feeling of roller coasters and all that. I couldn't control myself. Yeah. I'd be the guy that peed his pants. No, you're not going to stop. I told you, I'm not working for you. Oh, yes, you are. Hey, I don't know who the F you think you are, all right? You're going to keep working for me. So are your friends. You've got to see that movie if you haven't seen it. The town is good. Oh, it's good. Cyber Monday, $18.7 billion. So done. That's how much we spent.
I didn't drop one nickel on Cyber Monday. Me neither. I didn't even see any sales. Where did you guys find these sales? The big ones. The big Amazons. The Best Buys. Yeah. Stuff like that. All that stuff online. $18.7 billion was a 15% increase from this time last year. That's huge. Yeah, it is. I think it means the economy is getting better. Nope. LLB doesn't think so. People spending money on the one day they think they're never going to get a good deal. A good deal as good as that. The cool thing is, is that it wasn't just, what they did, LLB, was they extended it. So they call it Cyber Monday, but in a lot of cases, it's kind of cyber weak. That's when it starts. Yeah. It starts on Monday, but they extend it, and it goes for a while. You can actually make a lot of dough. Wish I paid attention. No. Two little kids. Dialed 911 and they asked for either the police chief or Santa. It's about 11 o'clock in the morning on Sunday. Six-year-old kid and his four-year-old brother. They're in New York. They call 911. When the operator picks up, they said they wanted to either talk to the police chief or Santa Claus. No word why. Prank call? I guess. Yeah, let me talk to Santa Claus. It's an emergency.
You need to talk to him. The operator didn't ask what the deal was, but police reported to the house, and they talked to the kids about it and gave them a don't do that ever again. No 911 bits. Yeah. Man, when I was a kid, you could get away with all that stuff because there was no tracing. We called them all, dude. Every one of them. I did it once and didn't say anything, and they came. Did they really? They came to your house? Oh, my gosh. Big trouble. I was babysitting, pretending I was going to call my little brother, and I had the mute button down. Oh, God. He's a big brat and all this stuff. Oh, my God. L.O.B. just making trouble as a kid. Oh, my gosh. I thought I was going to jail. I was like, that's it. It's the end of my childhood. I just wish we could download the story she's got in there, because you know L.O.B. was up to some mischief. Oh, my gosh. There's a bunch. Yep. My mom came home one time. I was lighting fires in the middle of the street. Oh, my God. Is that wrong? That was bad. You were lighting fires? Oh, yeah. Big pyro. With what? I got... With matches. I mean, but what were you lighting up? Paper. I would start... Like, I started small and got bigger, and I did it. We lived on...
Two acres. And so I used to go in the woods and it got out of control one time. Oh my gosh. So I started doing it in the street because I figured like that was better. Right. Yeah. And my mom walked up. I don't know why I didn't see her. I guess I was so enthralled.