The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 12/06/11
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Chargers football and Norv TurnerLauren's Santa Baby recordingBikini trivia contestHerman Cain dropping out of the raceDonald Trump vs Chuck Todd on MSNBCBuzzword game with $100 bet over Frosty the SnowmanPersonality and smell studyPerfume identification challengeSanta Boobie contest ideaDeliverance movie gift from brother SteveATM vs bank teller debatePadres baseball and Heath Bell leaving for Miami Marlins
The show opened with Chargers football talk and Norv Turner before pivoting to Lauren's embarrassing Santa Baby recording and a Friday bikini trivia contest between Lauren and Jay. A heated Buzzword game produced a $100 bet between Woods and Lauren over who said Frosty the Snowman first, settled by replaying tape and taking listener votes that overwhelmingly favored Woods. Jay proposed a Santa Boobie contest to give away a boob job, Mikey's brother Steve called in to explain gifting him Deliverance, and Jay's refusal to use ATMs devolved into accusations of perversion. Padres closer Heath Bell called in to discuss leaving for the Miami Marlins and the lack of commitment from Padres ownership, while the crew told an extended survival story about a beaver hunter trapped under an ATV in Alaska for four days.
What happened, in order
Bikini Trivia Contest Announcement
Mikey announces that Lauren and Jay will compete in pop culture trivia on a street corner Friday morning in white robes, with the loser dropping the robe to reveal a bikini underneath.
Lauren's Santa Baby
A caller requests Lauren's infamous recording of Santa Baby that she once sang for her boyfriend in a bathroom, and the crew plays and mocks the sexually charged performance.
MMA Fighter Beats Mugger
A man named Anthony Miranda tries to mug someone at gunpoint not realizing his target is an MMA fighter, who beats him badly and leaves his face looking like hamburger meat.
Trump vs Chuck Todd
Donald Trump calls into MSNBC and goes off on Chuck Todd for claiming Trump wanted to respond to a poll, insisting NBC called him 40 times and he was doing them a favor.
Buzzword $100 Bet
During a game of Buzzword with the word snow, Woods and Lauren both yell Frosty the Snowman and disagree over who said it first, leading to a $100 bet that escalates into a full dispute.
Buzzword Tape Replay
The crew replays the audio of the Frosty the Snowman moment and takes listener calls to settle the $100 bet, with M1 Nation overwhelmingly voting for Woods.
Smell Study and Perfume Challenge
A Polish study says people can smell personality traits, prompting Mikey to claim he can identify the same perfume on different people, leading to a proposed blind smell test.
Santa Boobie Contest
Jay proposes a holiday contest called Santa Boobie where listeners send in photos of their breasts to win a free boob job, which Mikey and Lauren refuse to endorse.
Deliverance Gift Story
Mikey's brother Steve calls in to explain why he gifted Mikey the movie Deliverance, and the crew discusses the infamous Ned Beatty scene and how Mikey resembles him.
ATM vs Teller Debate
Jay reveals he refuses to use ATMs and goes inside the bank to see tellers, prompting the crew to accuse him of being a pervert who just wants to look at bank employees.
Heath Bell Interview
Padres closer Heath Bell calls in to discuss signing with the Miami Marlins, explaining the Padres never guaranteed he would stay and Miami's owner showed real commitment to winning.
Beaver Hunter Survival Story
The crew recounts an I Shouldn't Be Alive episode about an Alaska beaver hunter with a withered leg who gets pinned under his ATV for four days, surviving on beaver meat and frost from caution tape while wolves circle.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienJayNicoleNorv TurnerPhillip RiversVincent JacksonMalcolm FloydRyan MatthewsHerman CainDonald TrumpChuck ToddAnthony Miranda
36,073 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
good thing. Even if it took a long time to get there, a victory is always a good thing, and the Chargers won last night, and it's good. It's music to my ears. It's been so long. I've heard that song. They lost six in a row until last night. And they're back. Well, at least for a game. We got a one-game winning streak. Yes. We got a one-game winning streak. Come on. That's good news, man. I mean, listen. We've had so much to be down about. We've had so much to be irritated about. All this talk about Norv. And so for Phillip Rivers to not throw an interception in a game is a good day. Guy played insane last night. 22-28, 294 yards, three touchdowns. One to Vincent Brown, one to Vincent Jackson, one to Malcolm Floyd. Quarterback rating of 146. Damn near perfect. Love it. I know. Huge. That's good stuff, man. Ryan Matthews ran like a madman. 13 carries for 112 yards and a touchdown. Listen, I win. Thank you. Yeah. It's nice, man. It was desperation. It's desperation time. Yeah. They had to win. Now listen, it's the Jags, so don't, you know, it's not the Green Bay Packers, but the Jags did have the number four defense in the NFL. Yeah. And they ran all over. 38-14. Chargers win.
This feels good to see them back in the W category. It feels good to hear that song, even though a win may cost us a better draft pick. So it's not too little too late? It probably is, but it is nice to win. Hey, wait a minute. We're not mathematically out of it, are we? No, no. We're two back of Denver and Oakland with four to play. Yeah, so they could lose, we could win. Sure. Technically. Technically, yes. Technically, yes. And, you know, Malcolm Floyd coming back. I'll tell you what. The best part of that game last night was the line. The offensive line, which has been a turd. Yeah. All year looked great. Phillip had time, and he was slinging balls around that field. And he was completing passes. They just signed some dude from the Kansas City Chiefs. Yeah, Gaither. Yeah. And he's a beastly dude. Yeah, and it was a great pickup because he got dropped from the Kansas City Chiefs. Because he showed up late or he did something. Oh, too many penalties. Yeah. Too many penalties. And so he got cut. Wow. And the Chargers were like, all right. We'll take him. He's good. Yeah. And he looked really good last night in his first game. Yeah. Yeah. So, man, it was good to see. You know, you hope it's not too little too late. But here's what you don't want.
If they go on a tear, let's say they win the next, let's say they win, what, they have four to play? Mm-hmm. Let's say they win them all. Mm-hmm. Extend North. Ugh. You're back to square one. Yeah. You really are. Yeah. You're back to square one. It's a very hard thing to do to go, all right, let's just call this, let's just call this a wash. Let's just call the season a wash. Mm-hmm. Let's get North out of it, get the new regime in. That's what we all want. I mean, admittedly so. Everybody wants to see new blood in here. New blood and just a new invigorated attitude. I was talking to a couple guys last night, M1 Chip and M1DC, about what this town would be like with a very powerful head coach, like a Bill Cowher type. Even a John Gruden, you know, like somebody with a big name that knows how to win, that has won Super Bowl. Boy, it'd be electric around here. Here's your head coach right now, North Turner, after last night's win. Just listen to how not confident the guy sounds. To me, it's not about how you win. We need to win a game. And we've been in games, and every one of our games, we are in a position to win. We haven't been able to win it. Getting those guys back, I think, made plays that allowed us to get a lead. I'm not going to say anything bad about him. No, I mean, I like my...
Personal preference is the screamer. I love the guy with the fiery attitude that Mike did because, you know, I love those guys. Those have always been my favorite coaches. Even the Jim Harbaugh's. Yeah, even the Jim Harbaugh's. The intense. I love the intense guy. I do too. I love intensity. And he doesn't have it. Great coordinator. You know, not a great head coach. The Mikey Show is myself. I'm Mikey. I'm 41 years old. And I give you our ages so that you know. Oh. Well, that's who we're dealing with here. They may be my age. They may be we have something in common. Woods is 36. He's our sports guy. Lauren O'Brien is 31, and she is our resident comedian and our assistant producer. Jay is our executive producer. He's 48. And our 19-year-old phone screener is Nicole. And if you want to talk to Nicole and get through and get on the air, you can call us right now at 570-1949. Get in there. All right. Word of the day. Teapot. Teapot is the word of the day. I'll say that between now and 10, and you'll get Holiday Bowl tickets when I do. The way that you win is I'll weave it into a sentence when I do. Call her nine. You get to go see Cal Take On Texas right here at Qualcomm. Don't forget this. Friday morning at 730, pop culture trivia for Lauren O'Brien.
Now, if you've never seen Lauren, she's a foxy blonde. She and Jay are going to compete in pop culture trivia on the corner of Friars and Frisee in white robes. Why's it going to be white, Mikey? And the loser of the pop culture trivia has to drop the robe. And they will be wearing a bikini. So that means either Lauren's in a bikini or Jay is in a bikini. That is good. Win-win. Yeah, win-win. Win-win. Sexy or funny. Sexy or funny. You know? You get one or the other. But the bottom line is, Friars and Frisee, Friday morning, 7.30, and it's going to be tremendous. It's going to be chilly, yeah. It's going to be nipping real good. Yeah. It is going to be cold out. It's really cold. Yeah. This is a montage that was played last night on Jimmy Kimmel.
of Herman Cain's greatest moments. I'm bummed to lose Herman Cain. He was the funniest one by far, and now he's gone. Herman Cain provided us with many a laugh over the last six months, so to honor him tonight and to say goodbye, we put together this video tribute to the man who gave us so many wonderful moments. Enjoy. I don't know this, and I don't know that, and I don't know that, and I don't know this. Oh, shucky-ducky, I feel pretty good today. It's not a pizza deal. I'll play the game, deep ditch. By the way, it's okay to call me black. Black walnut isn't a flavor of the week. When they ask me who's the president of you, Becky, Becky, Becky, Becky, Stan, Stan, I'm going to say, you know, I don't know. A defined... Wow. You go first, Newton. Anything else that you want to say to clear the air, as you say, and get this off your chest about that topic? Nope. Why can't we just get along? I'm that brother from another mother. There is no way for me to say unequivocally. He was trying to pigeon me. Hold on. No, I'm sorry. I meant wolf. Okay. Stupid people are ruining America. We need a leader, not a reader. Don't even go there. Excuse me. Take the chill pill. I never said I would use any special precautions. 999. That's not the price of the pizza. 999.
That's pretty good stuff. Man. That's pretty good stuff. 570-1949 is our number beginning and end of every show. We allow M1 Nation to call in with anything you want. An M1 is a Mikey Show listener. When you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. Know the rules. M1G from Carlsbad, what's up? Yeah, I wasn't sure if I was jumping the gun here, but I'm on my way to work, and I hadn't heard... Lauren O'Brien's rendition of Santa Baby at the season. I don't know. Yes. Yes, you are not jumping the gun, and it is open season on Santa Baby. Lauren O'Brien, our foxy 31-year-old little blonde girl over here, once sang Santa Baby to her boyfriend. One time. It was one time. That was enough. In a bathroom. Yeah. She recorded Santa Baby for him. Didn't think that anybody was ever going to hear it. No. She thought it was going to be her and him, and the two of them would enjoy it together. Little did she know that years later she'd be on a radio show that would exploit it.
It's dripping with sex. Oh, yeah. Just... What? Dirty. Sexual tension and just... Needing and wanting. Yes, needing and wanting. When you're so far away. Pent up. I have backup singers. Yeah. Karaoke backup singers. Oh, yeah. Karaoke backup singers. Oh. Santa, honey. Oh, wow. Yeah. Santa, honey. Santa, honey. Thank you. Oh, yeah. The deed. Real good. I thought there was something else. Let's get to that tree. The deed. The deed. I really need. It's so sexual in nature. It's so embarrassing. Santa cutie. How's that? Santa cutie. Okay. Thank you. End of the part about the tree. Yeah, here we go. Hit the wrong button. No problem. I couldn't stop it. I was wondering where you were going with that. That's a little sharp. Little. Yeah. It's a little sharp. A little bit. Well, I'll tell you why it came out a little bit sharp was because she realized what she was singing. Yeah. And what she was singing was just oozing with... Filth. Sexuality filth.
Depravity. Yeah. Depravity. Sexual depravity. I only had one take to get it done. Oh, yeah. Tom Jones. The wind up. Here's a new wrinkle for you. I'm guessing that before she recorded it, she put on some fresh lipstick. Oh, yeah. Bright red. Like, before she sang it. She had to have some nice. She watched herself singing in the mirror. Oh, yeah. No, I did not. You think I can look myself in the eye and sing that? Still looking for it. I'm married. Uh-oh. Oh, gosh. This is the worst part. Oh, gosh. Here it comes. Oh, wow. Send. Send. You're not allowed to pay those jobs, remember? No. It's open season. It's open season. No, we said that it just ruins it. We could do it ever. We said that every last meeting. We want. I like it. Oh, gosh. 570. My name's Lauren. Uh-oh. 570-1949. Lauren O'Brien.
We'll be wearing a bikini under a robe. We may not see it. Nope, you won't. We may see Jay in a bikini and a robe, 7.30, Friday morning. You and I, my friend, need to get together and write some questions for these clowns. You guys better not cheat. We're not going to cheat. That's Mikey. He doesn't cheat. I would. Hey, if you want, we can draw the questions randomly. Pull them out of a hat. As far as you guys know, you'll be on the street corner so we can say that we drew them randomly. Either way, it's a win. So it's not, you know, either way, it's a win. That's true. That's a true statement. Oh, boy. And now Shakira singing Nothing Else Matters by Metallica. Oh, sitar. What's jaw rating? What's jaw rating? Nothing else. Oh, God. Yeah. It's like I smell the farts. a little bit more attention who we give the rights to sing our songs, man. Lars, that's a live cover. I don't think there's anything you can do about that, buddy. There's freaking nothing you can do about it, man. There's nothing you can do about it. It's one of the worst covers ever I've ever heard in my life. It's one of the worst covers that I've ever in my life ever heard.
I'm convinced you have to see her to enjoy her. There you go. M1 Dirty is on the line, and he's calling from Albuquerque. That's right. How you doing? How are you? All right, Mikey. How you doing? Lauren, Brian. Hi. Woods. Hey. Is it snowing over there? It is snowing very, very badly here. Nice. Wow. But I felt inspired by L.O.B.'s Santa Baby rendition, and I thought it'd be a great idea to have her. Or, Jay, lip sync to Santa Baby if either one of them lose while in their bikini on Friday morning. You stop it. That's not going to happen. Why not? Because that wasn't the best. It's not the deal. Yeah. It's already bad enough. Yeah. Man, I mean, here's M1 Dirty calling in all the way from Albuquerque with a great idea. Yeah, he's inspired. He's inspired. I think you guys should do that then. Yeah, you guys do it. You guys should have a bet, and you can pay it off the next day. There you go. On Saturday. Hey, Dirty.
I am so sorry that these guys are just deflating your spirits. That song's like three minutes long. I'm so disappointed in the fact that you will not perform that. No chance. I've already done it twice. I did it once in the bathroom and once live at our 28-hour Mikey-thon. Oh, that's awesome. Thank you for the call. Thanks, guys. 570-1949 is the number. Or you can text 949mikey at gmail.com. Redemption. Do I love redemption? Here's a version of redemption. How about when some dude in Illinois thinks he's going to mug somebody. His name is Anthony Miranda, and he's going to mug somebody. So he pulls a gun out, demands money, didn't realize that who he was messing with was an MMA fighter. Uh-oh. Who basically kicked his ass. Yeah, up and down. Up and down. And this guy, his face looks like hamburger meat. Yes, it does. You know whose face doesn't look like hamburger meat? The guy that's not pulling guns on guys trying to rob them. What a hard ass the MMA guy was. Yeah. I mean, the guy's got a gun. Yes. He's like, I don't care. I'm going to beat you up. Yeah. He's confident he can kick the crap out of him. Yeah. Yeah. Well, both of them.
Had lethal weapons. Yep. Because an MMA fighter, you know, it's considered a lethal weapon. Oh, yeah. If you get into, if an MMA fighter goes into a bar and gets into a fight. Yikes. It's a felony because it's considered a lethal weapon. Assault with a lethal weapon. Assault with a lethal weapon. Might as well be a knife or a gun. Yes. Yeah, crazy. Pretty badass. Yeah, it is. Do you want to stay away from tequila then if you're an MMA fighter? That is a true story. True statement. That is a true story. Yeah. Maybe it'll teach him not to. I mean, can't you tell when you walk up to somebody if they look kind of yoked? Yes. He probably thought he had a gun. Oh, I got a gun. And he thought he was all tough. Some of these fighters, though, you put a sweatshirt on them, they don't look that. They look like everybody else. Yeah. When we were in Vegas that time and these guys were walking up and you're like, oh, dude, that is that guy. That's true. What? Small and scrappy. It's true. Yep. Yeah. It's true. Sometimes they look like normal guys, but. They know what they're doing, man. Crazy badasses. You don't want to screw with them. It's not so tough with your gun. That's right. This is one of the skeevious stories. One of the skeevious stories. A deer mouse caught in Chula Vista last week in just a routine monitoring tested positive for the Hantavirus. The Hantavirus. Okay? It's like a Hanta house. Right. That's where they come from.
It can be a fatal disease in humans. Oh, boy. The San Diego County Department of Environmental Health issued this report yesterday. They said that brings the total number of rodents found with the coronavirus to 52 compared to 21 last year. Why? Why? Why are there more? I'll tell you why. Rain. Heavier rains in the winter. What it did was it made things grow, gave them things to eat. They were able to breed. It's not good. It's multiplying rats. It's doing it. Antivirus begins with flu-like symptoms. It can grow into severe breathing difficulties. Which I have. Yes, check, check. Nope. Deer mice typically avoid contact with people, but the cold weather may drive them.
Inside. Looking for warmth and food and shelter. Hideous. It's hideous. It's the hideous. I haven't. It's the hideous. Yeah, you haven't. Because I don't feel good. You got the hanta? You got the hanta. He's hanta. You're haunting me. Hanta, hanta. Trump went off. I mean, went off on this dude. We have the audio of it. MSNBC. The guy's name is Chuck Todd. Apparently misrepresented why he wanted Trump on the show. And Trump, maybe the biggest ego in the world. Oh, yeah. In the world. Yep. Went off on him. And we have the audio. We're also going to play Buzzword. So if you want to play, call us right now. 570-1949. You're going to pick me or Woods or L.O.B. That's badass. On FM 94.9.
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I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. Friday at 7.30 in the morning, L.O.B. and Jay are going to be on the corner of Friars and Frisee. We'll be talking to them on the telephone, giving them trivia, and the loser of the trivia will take their robe off, and they'll be wearing a bikini. Boom. So it'll either be sexy or funny. Either way, you win. Friars and Frizee, Mission Valley. My wife said that I would be sexy if I was in a bikini. So I guess it'd be sexy or sexy. You guys do strange things in your house then. Yeah. I don't believe that Kim actually said you would be sexy in a bikini. I guarantee you Kim didn't even hear the whole bit. She heard it and she commented as soon as I got home.
She said, you're going to be in a bikini on Friday, possibly. And I said, well, I'll be in one for sure, whether everybody gets to see it or not. I want to see it. Oh, I'll show it to you. Oh, yeah. He's going to do it no matter what. I know it. Is that Jay? Yeah. I'm concerned because it's going to be gross with him because he's a hairy dude. I think he likes the way he looks. But it's hysterical. It's going to be hysterical. Don't you have a partially waxed leg, too? Yeah, I'm a back. And his back. Yeah, because we did a thing the other day where they got waxed. He's just got little bumps all over it now. It's going to look Serbian-esque. Oh, it's going to be great. Buzzword is coming up in just a second. So don't go anywhere. But first, Donald Trump yells at MSNBC's Chuck Todd for misrepresenting why he came on the show. Donald Trump likes to yell at people. Donald Trump isn't a Republican candidate, so he's opting for another role in the campaign debate moderator. Mr. Trump joins me now by phone. Sir, I'm sorry we didn't get to interact this morning, but let me let you respond to those poll numbers, which I think that you wanted to respond to, that says your endorsement in the Republican primary, more Republicans in Iowa and New Hampshire both say that would make them less likely to support that candidate. Your response.
Let me just first start by saying that I was watching the show for about two minutes and you said Donald Trump wanted to respond to a poll. Well, I didn't even know what poll you're talking about, number one, Chuck. Number two, I didn't call you. You called me about 40 times trying to get me on the show. I didn't call you. So your statement is false. I mean, you said, quote, I quote, Donald Trump wanted to respond to a poll. Well, I didn't want to respond. Your people called my office about 40 times asking me to go on to the show. So it's dishonest what you're saying, Chuck. I wish you would just sort of say it like it is. And just I think you'd really do better. Honestly, I actually think you'd get better ratings, you know, if you did that. But so I did not. Is it a correct statement that I did not call you? You called me. You know what hurts when it's all just true? Yeah. That's the worst. Yeah. I mean, he has a bone to pick and he's a legitimate. And it's legitimate. And we're like when you're getting it and it's true. Like when your wife's giving it to you and you know, she's right. You're like, great. Oh, boy. Called you. You clearly wanted to say that your folks wanted to respond to the whole. I'll respond to it. I'll respond to it. But at the beginning of the program, you didn't say that. You said Donald Trump wanted to respond. I didn't want to respond. I'm doing NBC a favor by going on to your show. Number one. Number two.
It depends on how the question's asked, because I know about polls. I know a lot about polls. I studied polls at the Wharton School of Finance. And you can ask a question. You mean to tell me somebody's going to be worse off if I endorse them? I don't think so, because I have a huge following of people that are tired of seeing our country ripped off by China and OPEC and virtually every other nation. And I don't really think that you believe that somebody's worse off if I give them, because I have a big following of people. because they're just tired of seeing what's going on with this country. I'm just reporting those numbers. I wish you would just be straight, Chuck, because honestly, I think you'd do a lot better if you were straight. Well, I'm not interested in debating you. I want to ask you about your debate. Well, that's fine, but you've got to tell the truth, Chuck. Let me ask you about your debate. Hey, Chuck, you have to tell the truth. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Go ahead. Mr. Trump, I would like to ask you about your debate. Woo! Ego. Maniac. Yeah, but in that particular situation, he was right. Yeah, but what show doesn't call the guests? Right. I mean, that's what happens. But what you don't do is you don't lie and be like, Donald Trump wants to respond. No, I don't. No, he didn't. No, I don't. It's semantics. You called me. I didn't want anything. Okay, well, it's...
It's just a little different than we're giving Donald Trump the opportunity to respond. Oh, it's weird. If I say L-O-B wants to respond, and you're like, what are you talking? What? Huh? I would never do that. I'd just respond. Yeah. I would also just be like, yeah, I think that's a ridiculous statement, but I wouldn't go on the offensive like you did. Yeah, I wouldn't either. He's very offended all the time. All the time. I'm not a fan of Donald Trump, but in that particular instance. Yeah, he's right. He's right. In that one, I liked. He's still a clown. You don't always have to be right. Just do the interview. M1, Sean's piggy is on the line from Carlsbad. Are you there? Yeah, sure. Who would you like to represent you in Buzzword? Well, since Sean's not on the show anymore. I'll take Wood. There you go. There you go. Second best. There you go. M1, Daniel from Oceanside. He's actually never on our show. Yeah, he's never been on this show. Who would you like? I'd like to go with LLB. Yeah. Yeah, who wouldn't? And M1, Ellie from El Cajon. You've got me. There we go. We are playing for Lunch for Four at Rubio's. Enjoy the Langostino Lobster Tacos, available only for a limited time at Rubio's. Yeah. Hey, Ellie.
I'm really going to try to win for you. I'm really going to try. You just hang up, Ellie. It's all right. No, you stop it. I might win. I might win. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's possible. Yeah, it could happen. So this might be the day. Today may be the day. Hang on the line. All right, the way that we play buzzword is Jay gives us a word, and then he's going to give us a clue, and that word will be in the clue. We have to yell it out. Unfortunately. Woods' brain works real good at this and mine doesn't. And L.O.B.'s works pretty dang good at it as well. Yeah, I think I have the best record, actually. Yeah. I don't think that's true, actually. I do, I do. I think if we do the research on that, L.O.B. I think a lot of times Jay also, nope, might lean a certain way. Sometimes. No. Did a kid ever think that? L.O.B. just gave you a look like... Well, that's not me. The M1s. The M1s. Let's just see who decided. Let's decide on the field. Let's just play it today. Let's not go... Let's do this. I am ready. We've had each other on the back just yet. I am ready. Let's do it. What's the word? What's the word? The word is... Come on. Snow. Okay. S-N-O-W. Got it. Snow. Snow. Snow. Green pods. Snow peas. Gosh darn it.
How do you do that? Go ahead. Go stroke his ego, Mike. How does he do it? How does he do that? How does he do that? How does he do that? Here we go. Like a wide ski with bindings for both feet. Snowboard! Snowboard! Snowboard! Snowboard. Suck it. I didn't say that. Who said it? I did. Woods did. How do you do it? Sorry. Here we go. Sorry, Lauren. Lovers. Frozen crystal that falls from the sky. Snowflake! Snowflake! Snowflake. Woods is killing it. It's okay. He's got Mikey in his corner. Come on, people. I got this one. Piles. Snow drift. Snow covered hills. Snow banks. Snow banks. Snow banks. There you go. I don't need your pity pat on the back. That wasn't that great. I don't need your pity pat on the back. I've got the best record in this game. Wasn't that great? Remember the saying, LLB always wins? It doesn't come from nowhere. Don't worry, Woods. That was a strategy. You'll get them on this one. Here we go.
He was made out of snowman. Frosty the snowman. I'm not sure who said it. Frosty the snowman. There you go. I did it. L-O-B. Oh, my God. Mikey says. You're effing kidding. I said it before that, though. I said Frosty the snowman. I said it as well. You were just louder. Woods is going to think about this tonight at 10 o'clock at night. Oh, wow. Three chairs. We should have Nicole come in the room as they back up. Nicole, who got it? Who got it? You know those chairs are broken. Nicole, who said it first? Who said it? She's pointing to Lauren. I'll bet $100. Who wants to take my $100? Take my $100. Come on. I didn't scream it, though. Am I willing? $100. Do you think you got it? LLB. Are you willing to throw a red flag? I thought she got it as well. Are you willing to throw a red flag? Oh, please, please. Are you willing to throw the challenge flag? No, I'll do it. I'll do it. Yeah, go for it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on. I am going to you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm going to you. You are my assistant coach up in the booth. Yeah. I've called you and I've said, all right, did you look at the tape? What do you think? I mean. Mike, I wouldn't have written down the point if I didn't think I wanted. $100. There you go. All right, dude. $100. You better be right on me. I said it.
I'm sending Nicole into the room as a moderator to help me. You will hear it. She'll be my moderator. And then we will run the tape back on this. Yeah, you guys can do that too. And babe, hang on a second. I've got to talk to my wife. Babe, if I mess that one up. You did. I'm sorry. Bad. Because I'm going to owe the kid $100. But hey, Woods. Fresh $100 for me. Hey, but if you lose. I'll give you $100. Okay. Yeah. I think he already owed you money anyway, though, too. Mike owed me $20 already. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Snow. Difficult scene. Snowed in. After coming inside from the snow. Difficult scene after coming inside from the snow. Snow day. Snow on the ground. Snow on the floor. Taking a snow day. Snow eyes. Snowed feel. Snow. I feel snowy. Snowy day. Snow day. Snowy. Snow nose. Snow face. Difficult scene. Snow book. Spell the word. What's the word? Snow book.
Snow is a word. Okay, here we go. You guys fail. What is it? Snowblind. Oh. I've never heard of it. He said, he was supposed to say seeing, and he said seen. He was thinking SC. Me too. I'm like, so was I. Is it difficulty seeing? I was. Yeah, seeing. You said difficult scene. I was. You said difficult scene. Hey, if you don't know me by now. Darn it. Easy simply, Red. I even pointed to my eye. Difficulty scene. I thought you were saying difficult scene. Me too. I'm done. I'm done. No, you're not. Here we go. Here we go. Is it still snow? Yes, it's still snow. All right. Sugary treat. Snow. Snow cookies. Snow ice cream. Snow. Snow caps. Snow cone. Snow caps. Snow cone is the word. Thank you. Yes. There was more to it. I just couldn't get to it. Snow cookies. Snow cookies. Snow ice cream. It's a real thing. Is it? Yeah. All right. Here we go. Kids.
Snow gold. Battle. Snow angels. Snow fight. Snow ball fight. Snow boy fight. L.O.B. Snow boy? I was just repeating L.O.B. Here we go. All I can think about is my $100 I won. That's all I can think about. Here we go. I can't wait to play it back. It's so great. I can't wait. Better traction for your car. Snow tires. Snow chains. Snow tires is the correct answer. An effort to deceive. Oh, snow. Pull the snow over your eyes. Snow somebody. Snow somebody. It's an effort to deceive. Snow you out. Yeah, something like that. Snow you. Snow you over. Snow covered hills. Snow you. No, it's snow job. Can we have a new word? A different word. Snow job? That's dirty. You filthy. That is dirty. You're a sexual addict. It's a sex act in the wintertime. You're a sexual addict. Here's a new word just for L.O.B.
Black. Yeah. B-L-A-C-K. Bruises make you this. Black and blue. Black and blue. L-O-B started it first. Healy Woods, really? She started it first. You joined in. Okay, here we go, L-O-B. Here we go, Woods. Towards black. Ready? Better get up. Three, two. Take him a long time to get up. Hold a cold stake on this. Black eye! Woods got it. A bachelor's Bible. Black Book! Are you sure that wasn't Woods? I even pointed at you. I pointed at you. Here we go. I'll admit when I lose. Unlike some people I know. An odd family member. Black Sheep! Black Sheep and the family! It was a tie between you and Mikey. Woods and Mikey tied on that one. A hypocritical reference to cookware. Black Book!
Mikey. I didn't say a word. Not one word. I said black pot. Black pot. That's not the answer. Mikey, you got it. Oh, gosh. What's the score, LLB? Mikey, three. Lauren, five. Wood, six. Oh, the Oprah winner, free. Okay, here is a three-pointer. Oh, my gosh. Is this the last one? No. Oh, okay. Shut up. Three-pointer. Brad Pitt's death roll. Joe, baby. Joe Black. Joe Black. All right. And we wonder why stuff breaks in here. Here is a six-pointer. Oh, my God. Yes. Jay, you're starting fights. Let's do this. Jagger sees a red door. Hello, Barry. What was that? It's a six-pointer. It's a stone song. Oh. Now what's the score? Mike three, Lauren eleven, Woods nine. Oh, my God.
This is a four-pointer and a final question. Oh, my gosh. Not a latte, but just plain... Black coffee! Black coffee is the correct answer. L.O.V. When can we run that tape? We, during the commercial breaks, will listen back to you. Do you have that 100 on you? He's good for it. I can't wait. I feel so sorry for you, dude. I really do. You're so sure of yourself. There's no question. I would bet you one of my dogs. Wow, that's not really a good bet, though. M1 Daniel. Daniel, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. You're a dead man. L-O-B brought it home for you. Awesome, good job. Hang on the line. Thank you. Those six-pointers help. If I had gotten that, it would have been over. What was the word? Frosty the Snowman. Frosty the Snowman. Yes. All right, now, for those of you that have just tuned in, we were just playing buzzword.
There is always, always a dispute. Wiz is putting on antibacterial and deodorant. Suave women's deodorant, by the way. He prefers it. He prefers it. It's blue. It's a blue bottle with pink writing. First of all, it's powder. It's pink and it says powder. It's powder flavored. It's suave. This is certainly baby blue. Yeah, it doesn't say women's. No, I know. It's in a women's section. It goes without saying. Here you go. It's like a small container, so it's for small armpits. Yeah, it's for men. Woods always feels that he has said the word first. Jay looks at L.O.B. and goes, uh, uh, her. No, that's not true. Now, I guess Nicole did the same thing. And Mikey. Yeah. This is very good. This is a vindication. I know that my heart right now is racing. Oh, mine too, but I got it. L.O.B. Your demeanor right now is scaring me. Why? Because here is what it all lies on. Who said it first? You or Woods? Who said Frosty the Snowman first? Right. Now, I believed it was you. Yeah. Good luck. Woods, as usual, believes it was him. Yes. God. Now, before I threw the red flag on the field to challenge it so that we go to the tape.
I went up to the booth. Yeah, that's what you got to do. And I talked to my offensive coordinator and I said, hey, how did it look from where you were? And you said, throw that red flag. Yes. So I threw the challenge flag. Yep. When we go into commercial break, the officials will take a listen back. And by the officials, you mean me. Yes. Even though I've got other things to do with my commercial break. Oh, this will be the best. Yeah. This will be the best time spent. Yes. Ever. And then we will play it. Hopefully. I mean, I don't know if we can, but hopefully we can even play it back for listeners. I think we can. In fact, if you hand me the deal, I can probably load it right here. Well, then we'll stop recording this portion of the show. That's fine. Okay. That's fine. And I'll load it right onto my computer. Bam. And we will listen now. You're dead, man. Your wife's going to murder you. I've already apologized just in case. Just in case. Oh, man. You guys are grown-up little boys. We are.
We all are grown up little kids. We're all grown up little kids. Later on, by the way, I'm going to tell you about how L.O.B. let me know that they found a new planet they think is like Earth. Because it's like, they think it's 70 degrees there. Wow. A balmy 72 average. That's awesome. Yeah. So we'll, you know, we'll be tired about it. L.O.B. went to choose fitness yesterday, worked her butt off. That's right. Literally. Just because she wants... She's got to get in the bikini. Yep. Doesn't know if she's going to be dropping the robe. Yep. Thanks a lot, guys. No, thank you. Thank you. Listen, either way, it's a win. 7.30 on Friday morning. Either way, it's a win. If L.O.B. drops that robe, it's a sexy blonde in a bikini. If Jay drops that robe. Furry and brown. It's a 48-year-old Serbian. With a thatch. With a thatch. Look at that guy. Where are you going to get your bikini from, Jay? I'll just go pick one up. Don't just try to answer so vaguely. What's the deal? Target. I'll go to Target. I don't know. Where do you get bikinis? I don't know. Where do you buy men's bikinis? I'm not going to have it. It probably won't be a men's bikini. I don't like that he hasn't thought about it. I want there to be thought put into it. Oh, I will. Will you go alone? Will your wife pick it out?
It better be skimpy is all I know. Yeah, dude, I don't want some dumb thing. I don't want him wearing some Grammy. I'm not going to get a skirt. You want me to go get it for him? I'll go get it for him. Yes. No. Yes. L.O.B., then he has to get L.O.B.'s, too. Oh, but wait. L.O.B.'s got a bikini. Yeah, I have plenty of them. Well, I'll have one as well. You're not going to pull some trick on us, are you? No, I'll give you what you want, you creep. I want, hey, dude, I want you skimpy. You know how I like you. I know how you like me. You know how I like you. I'll make sure you like me. I need you in triangle bikini top. Oh, yeah. You'll get it, yeah. And I want. Those berries out the side. Oh, my. I don't want to get arrested, so. I've got to allow for that. It made me lightheaded thinking about. Here's the interesting part. You have to be naked. And that's what I'll be. I love this guy. Oh, man. I can't wait, Woods. I can't either. Fresh hundo coming my way. Real good. Do I have to pay you today if I was wrong? No, you pay me tomorrow. What about you? I'll pay tomorrow. All right. I can't wait. I can't either. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. You should be. You should be. LLB's got to look like I got this one. You got it. Just confident. I'll go 300. Oh, my gosh. Now you're really freaking me out. You're freaking me out. But you always. He always. What's always? Even with our flashing light thing, he's just like, I won. I won. It's the truth. No, the lights don't lie. It is true. I don't get that mad at that. I get mad at this thing, not you guys.
This one is a castmate judgment call. Who's not? Nicole. Nicole wasn't in here doing that. She wasn't in here doing that. She was listening. It doesn't matter. She couldn't see my mouth. Oh, so we have to see your mouth. Well, you do. Do I? Listen, I believe that we could have the NFL's very own slow motion photography. shooting video of you. And you would still claim that it's a cheat. And it was wrong, and you were cheated, and you did say it first. I'll tell you why this one's going to feel so good. Vindication. And so then you're going to know, hey, you know what? Maybe he's on to something. Maybe he's on to something. You're definitely on something. We will play it back. Oh, yeah. After this. Let's do it! More from the Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. Good day, drivers. As we speak, a world-renowned group of performance specialists are preparing to launch an event of epic proportions. Your mission, if you should choose to accept it, is to take full advantage of the situation. Codename the BMW Mission to Drive Sales Event.
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Clearing this truck that broke down in the right lane. 15 southbound at El Norte Parkway. Earlier wreck. Everybody on the right shoulder. And a car continues to block the carpool lane. South 5 right at Via Della Valle. And also brought to you by Cox Business. Providing solutions for all your business communications needs. Supported by a local team. Cox Knows Business. Visit online at coxbusiness.com. I'm Judy Gale on FM 94.9. Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I got a box of, you know, stuff in the mail because I like to shop on the internet. Lauren. I'm not a crier. Woods. I used to drink a lot. And Jay. How about you let me raise my own kid? On FM 94.9. Lauren O'Brien has the greatest poker face ever. Cannot read her. She knows the answer. She does. We do not. If you're just tuning in right now. One, two, one, two. We have a $100 bet, Woods and I. And the bet is... Who said Frosty the Snowman first? Was it L.O.B. or was it Woods? I don't know the answer. L.O.B. does. She looks very confident. She has downloaded the audio. And we're going to hear it in just a second.
I'm about to vomit. I am nervous. I'm about to vomit in my hand. We are playing a buzzword, and the word was snow. And I believe Lauren yelled out Frosty the Snowman before Woods did. As do I. Woods believes he yelled it out first. We have a $100 bet. L.O.B., what is the verdict? You have to listen. Where is it? How do I do it? I emailed it to you. She's very smug right now. She's very smug. I don't know. Oh, here we go. Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready? Here we go. He was made out of snow. Got you. Got you. It's inconclusive in my opinion. It is absolutely not inconclusive. Let's play it again. Hang on. Now, I believe that you have to say Frosty the Snowman. He was made out of snow. You said snowman. I said snowman, Frosty the snowman. You said snowman. I started with snowman. And she said Frosty. Hang on. Now here's what I believe, but I could be wrong. You're wrong. I believe you said snowman. I did. And while you were reloading, so you shot your gun. And while you were going, she said Frosty the snowman. I still beat her. It's like when I said black pot and you screamed out the pot that called the kettle black. Right. He was made.
You're starting to say snowman. Got you, dude. I got you inconclusively. I mean, not inconclusively. Conclusively. I believe it's inconclusive because you're louder. It doesn't matter. I said I finished. You can't hear the beginning of me starting. But I said it first and I finished first. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Oh, I mean, it's not even a question. It just sounds like this to me. That's what a lot of questions sound like to me. And now you guys are always like, you can't hear. That's a fresh hundo. It's not. In my pocket. It absolutely is. He was made out of snowman. Oh, my God. I'm not sure who said it. There you go. It's not even close. He was made out of snowman. I'm not sure who said it. There you go. He didn't hear it. I repeated it. I believe L.O.B. got that. I believe. Are you out of your mind? You're out of your mind. Let's all vote. Leave it to the M1s. All right. All right.
M1s? It's not fair. The M1s like Woods better than me. Oh, is that right? Let's check Facebook friends. See who has more Facebook friends. That doesn't mean anything. How can we know? How about we put it to a vote? Yeah, let's put it to a vote. Best out of seven. Oh, my gosh. And we'll have to go with whatever happens. Did Lauren win or did Woods win? I'm going to play it again. 570-1949. Who said it first? And listen, I don't want to hear you. I don't want to just say Lauren or Woods. Lauren or Woods. He was made out of snowman. Well, I heard you say snowman. Yeah, and then you hear me say Frosty the Snowman. But I believe that as you reload, she beats you. Well, now you're swaying the audience. Play it again, then. Maybe I'm wrong. He was made out of snowman. It's so obvious. It's so obvious. Well, one thing that's obvious is you're louder. I believe that's a true fact. You are louder than L.O.B. And I finished before her. 570. 194.9. I'll go with whatever the M1s. Will you? I will. Best out of seven. I'll go right down the line. It's making me nervous. I was trying to save your guys' friendship. My pulse.
is up to 175. I feel like I just ran stairs. My legs are weak. M1 Theater Mom, who won? M1 Phillip, who won? M1 Mick, who won? That's three. M1 Kyle, who won? Woods, 100%. Woods just did a flip on to the beanbag. Why do I bet? I still disagree. You've got to figure a scientific way. We just got to go. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. There's got to be some sort of a muzzle that we can all put on. A mouth buzzer. To keep us all the same level. A mouth buzzer, yes. Well, when we first introduced the game, it was.
You got to yell your answer as loud as you could. I'm just trying to follow instructions. Yeah, we always said not yell it straight into the microphone. I don't all the time. My voice won't go any louder than it is. I don't all the time. You don't. I don't. You. I don't always yell into the microphone. I stand off mic a little bit. Oh, yeah. Wow. Let's take a picture. My booty. You're unbelievable. My pirate's booty. What a day. What a great day. That's blood money. That is blood money. Ooh, mamacita. Unbelievable. You know that every call was for Woods? Yep. Every single call. I looked up there. They love him. That is not why. That is such horse crap. That's a true fact. That is not why. Jake is able to see us as well. The fact of the matter is you're a beloved figure. That is not why. And you're not. And you're not. I am hated. And she's not. I'm not. You are loved.
Well, you're loved, but he's loved more. Yeah. You're the most loved. He's the teacher's part. You're the most lovable. That's such BS. You're the most lovable. He's the fan favorite. You're the fan favorite. Oh, my God. I am so not. You're the queen of the ball. The belle of the ball. They don't call you Hollywoods for nothing. Yeah. You guys call me that. Did you know that people can smell your personality? This is a true fact. Listen to this. Apparently, the way you smell is giving out clues about you. Is that the pheromone bit? It's the pheromone bit, but it's not just that. It's also like if you're wearing Axe body spray or if you've showered. There's a new study out of Poland where researchers found that people could accurately predict someone's major personality traits just by smelling them. They were smelling their T-shirts. Again, it was the T-shirts that they were smelling. And the people that were in the study,
were able to predict whether other people were outgoing and extroverted or neurotic and anxious. I am neurotic and anxious. Woods is outgoing and extroverted. By definition, Woods is outgoing and extroverted. I am neurotic and anxious. Fair enough. And they were particularly good at predicting people. Of the opposite sex, which they were. So when you meet somebody, you're sizing them up instantly just by the way that they smell. Your sense of smell is way more involved than you realize. For me, for sure. You are a big player with the smells. Big deal to me. Huge deal. Always smelling girls. It is a... It's true. Always smelling girls. It's a big thing for you.
Hang on. It is. It is. Wait, wait, wait. But let's discuss this because, you know, one insinuates that I'm some sort of rapist hiding in the bushes waiting for a girl to walk by. That's what I was going for. And that is it. Ella B is waving her head. She's like, well, right. Yeah. That's you. Yes. Continue. No. What I do is I am very conscious of the way people smell. Right. You might like to play a game. Sometimes somebody will walk in and you'll go, is that Dolce? Yeah, is that Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue? Yes. Yes. Because I remember them. Yeah. I smell it and I remember it. Perfume trivia. Yeah, some people don't. Some people, that's not the way their brain is wired. Woods is wired for the game buzzword. You're wired for it. Even though I just won. Oh, wow. Yeah, she did win. I am the opposite of it. I am the opposite of it. Is that the one that he's real good at? Name that tune. Name that tune. You're good at buzzword. She's good at name that tune. But for whatever reason, my brain remembers smell. And I can pinpoint it. My brain remembers boobs. That's true. Shape, weight. Yes.
Girth. Girth. Sight. Perkiness. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. I'm more apt. Globalness. I'm more apt to sneak a glance at some cleave than I am to remark on someone's perfume. Yeah, because you can do that in your head. Right. You don't have to be like, I enjoy your breasts. Right. Oh, I'm really enjoying your breasts. Are those breasts a D? You've got a C? I think a woman's perfume is sexier than her breasts. Oh, you are. You may be crazy. You're probably alone on that. You may be by yourself. Okay. You may be Tom Hanks. That comes out of a bottle. Anyone can wear it. You may be Tom Hanks in Castaway. And, L.O.B., I disagree with that. Oh, it mixes with your own pheromones. Doesn't it? Pheromone bill. There you go. You know what? If it does, then how come you can identify it? Well, because it's got a very... It's got a very distinct characteristic. Great point, L.O.B. It's got a distinct characteristic. It's a distinct characteristic that you enjoy, not their own personal recipe. Wait a second, though. I know this. I know that you can take the same perfume, put it on two different chicks. It smells different. How about this? We get five guys and one girl, and we put the same perfume on each of them. You have to pick out the girl.
Mr. Smeller. I guarantee you I could do that. I'd have to. If we were going to take money on it, I bet he could. You know what? I don't want the douchebaggery of all guys, though. That's the stupidest bit. Woods did that to me on a thing we were doing where you tricked me where we were doing a taste test and you put both the same. That's not douchebaggery. It's so douchebaggery. It's not douchebaggery. It's the height. If you look up douchebaggery, if you get a dictionary. And you open it up, and you look up the word douchebaggery, there's a picture of Woods doing that. That's true. We had a taste test between Coke and Sprite. This is so stupid. And I, instead of giving one Coke, one Sprite, I gave him both Cokes. Yeah. And you go, ooh, yeah, that's definitely Sprite. Well, tomorrow, I think that none of us wear any cologne or perfume to work. We'll get maybe one more guy. We'll get Adam or something. Chase's boyfriend. We'll each put on the perfume, and you have to find out which one's me. I can do that. On the wrist? On the wrist. I can do that. No doubt in my mind. Really? Yes. Yes. Wow. You don't get to touch. No touching. No touching. Just smelling. Because you'll feel the hair on my arms. Yeah. Oh, that's a hard challenge, my brother. Hang on a second, though. Well, wait a minute. What are we talking about here? We're all going to wear the same perfume. No, no, no, no. That's not what I mean. What I'm saying is...
I believe that it smells different on different people. Yeah. I didn't necessarily. Gender. You didn't say gender. I'm not necessarily going gender, although I think I can. I think I can. I still think I can. But I do believe that things smell differently on people. Nicole and I could both put on the same perfume on our wrist. And you have to tell us, who is this now? No, I can't. I couldn't. I couldn't. Because I'm not familiar. But I could blind. I could blindfold you. Give you sniff. Sniff A. This is sniff A. Sniff B. A different person. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then you have to say, is this A or B? Oh, yes, I can do that. There is no doubt. If I know beforehand, same perfume, right? Uh-huh. This is Lauren. This is Nicole. Uh-huh. And then you blindfold me and you don't do douchebaggery. Woods doesn't go. I'll stay out of it then. Woods doesn't go. Nah. You. He will say, oh, that's Nicole. And then he'll look like.
It doesn't make you look like a moron. We'll try it out. We'll see. Okay. And then something occurred to me when we were discussing that. Oh, by the way, Heath Bell's going to be on. Oh. Heath Bell's going to be on today. He texted me back. Nice. Look at that. And he said he'll come on. Did you feel a wave of relief? Yes. An immediate wave of relief. Yeah, because I felt like I was, like I had. Bothered him. Like you had maybe named what perfume he was wearing? Yeah. What was I thinking about that? We can't wear anything else to mix with. Oh, I know what I was thinking. Nothing else. I know what I was thinking. A friend of mine, if she's listening, she can call in. I'm not going to say her name. She wore a perfume that she says every dude thinks is the sexiest thing in the world. The perfume is called Cassini. You can only buy it at the Luxor in Las Vegas. Wow. I said, that perfume smells like a Turkish bazaar. And she would laugh and she would go, you're such an idiot. I go, it smells like an Indian handbag from Marrakesh. Wow. And she goes, you're so dumb. Smells like the inside of Ravi Shankar's car.
It's sitar case. Yes. Weird. It smells like a sitar case. I said, it smells like a library in India. In Bangladesh. In Bangladesh. And she would get so irritated and go, she goes, you know that you're the only idiot. Yep. And I go, fine. Maybe I am. I go, that's stuff. And she goes. Do you know how expensive this stuff is? The expensive bit. Oh, my God. I hate the expensive bit. I don't care how much Calvin Klein obsession costs. It still smells like sweet pea. Oh, yeah. My buddy in college used to do the expensive bit. He wore out. We went out one night. He showed up to pick me up. He had a lime green Versace shirt on. And we were going out downtown Chicago. And I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you want to borrow a shirt? And he's like, what? It's freaking Versace. You know how much disgust? I go, dude, I don't care if it came from this closet. I'm not going out with you wearing that thing, okay? I'm not going out with a key lime pie to go dancing tonight. It's a $300 shirt. I don't care. I don't care if it's $1,000. It looks like butt. Yeah, it looks like a key lime pie. I'm going to be the guy with the guy in the green shirt all night. I never lived down wearing a shirt to...
the pumpkin patch this year with my children. With my children! And I happened to be wearing a t-shirt that was salmon. Wow. Why did you even have that? I think he might be gay. It didn't start out that way. It started out kind of red. But through the process of getting washed, it's become more and more pink. Nothing wrong with pink. Pink's the new what? Maybe it's time to get rid of it. Yeah, you might want to ditch that. You're not really a pink shirt kind of guy. I'm not. I'm not. And that day, you know what I did? I went and I was like, if I don't wear this, then it's one of those things that's in my closet that I'm not wearing. Yeah. And that's just freaking wrong. Give it away. Give it away. Somebody who can pull it off. Yeah, maybe. Maybe that's the deal. Like an Arab guy or something, you know?
Why an Arab guy? I don't know. They look good in the dark, more dark skinned. I'm dark skinned. Yeah, you're kind of a light skinned. In fact, people mistake me more often than not for being Arab. Middle Eastern. Middle Eastern. I am mistaken for that more than I am being Mexican. But then they hear me talk and I'm instantly Mexican. You can tell just by the way that I talk that I'm clearly English as a second language. Yeah, right. When I speak, you know that guy is from Jalisco or Mexico City. One of the two. But the last thing he is is from America. That's true. I'll give you that. You're not, actually. You're from Guam. Right. Born in Guam. Naval base. Guamanian. I'd like to see your birth certificate. It was a naval base. Was it in Guam? Not in the U.S. Yeah. But my dad was in the Navy. Right. You can't be president. No. Yeah. Let's see. Woods. Yes, sir. Tell everybody about Jay's idea. This one will get you. This was Jay called it Santa Booby. This is good. Playing off of our friend Lauren O'Brien's version of Santa Baby. And he thought, hey, listen, it's the holidays.
I'm going to capitalize on this. I'm going to bring the funny. Our contest is going to be called Santa Boobie. Let's have listeners send in pictures, okay? Good so far. Right. Of their breasts. Not nude breasts per se. Maybe just in a bra. In a cleavage, you know, low cut t-shirt. And then we will give away a boob job. Yeah. Santa Boobie. To the one most in need. They had to accompany it with some sort of sap story. Santa booby. Santa booby. And by the way, Lauren laughs because I'm emotionless. My face, the human face has 700 muscles in it. Not one of them moves on my face when he has that idea. Your face is identical to a guy on C-SPAN in Canadian Parliament. Mm-hmm. Just sitting there staring. Mm-hmm. Straight ahead. I think you said to me, yeah, Jay, we're going to give away a boob job. I did say that. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Finally, you're coming around. As in, that's definitely something the Mike U Show would do. Right. Hey, just helping out people in need. Santa booby. Santa booby. He thought I would be in on it because it would tie into L.O.B.'s song Santa Baby. Yeah. Right. Makes Santa want to hurry down that chimney. And that I would.
And that I would be down with taking pictures from women's of their boobs. Yeah. And voting. We like girls in bikinis. Really, he wanted you, Mike, to be judge and jury of women's breasts. Which is right up your alley. I'll do the handiwork. He thought that it would be good timing because people take this time of the year off for holidays. So when they went back to work. Yeah. There you go. Their coworkers would be like, look at you. I bet we'd even have a plastic surgeon that would donate. That was his big thing. That was the big thing is, hey, listen, I'll get it done. It'll take me two phone calls. Yeah. If you're out there, let's do this. I am so glad that I don't have to spend time in his mind because it's scary. It's like Central Park in the 70s at 2 a.m. His mind is Central Park, 2 a.m. Back in the 70s. Times Square in the 70s. Hollywood and Vine in the early 80s. It's just all it is is sex all the time. Oh, yeah. Sex. Feral sex. Yes. Ball gag sex. Just nasty stuff. Wild stuff. Wild. Wild stuff that even people that are wild are like, it's a little too wild for me. Leather hoods. Things like that. Yeah. Well, the leather hood guy with the zipper for a mouth is like.
It's kind of weird, man. You kind of weird me out. Yeah. It's not that weird. He talks through the leather zipper and he's like, oh, I don't know. The guy in the sex shop in the movie Seven is like, whoa, that's weird. That's weird. That's weird. Yeah. The Gimp is weirded out by Jay. Yes. Not by boob jobs or just, you know, they're okay for some people. No, I'm just saying, you know. Well, I can't believe you're not all in. Where's the support? I just know. I've kind of gleaned what's going to work and what's not going to work. I leave my creepy ideas at home. Got to push the limits. Push them real good. 5701949 is our number. I want to squeeze them. So, everybody knows the scene from Deliverance. The scene. The guy from the movie that had that time with Ned Beatty. Special time.
Has passed on. But I have a really strange deliverance story. Stranger than that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In context, it's almost stranger than what happened in Ned Beatty. It's the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Postal Annex. Gonna wrap my holidays up. Color printing. Brochures, flyers. Documents copied. Documents bound. Got to take a passport photo, fax a message, check my mail, notarize it, laminate it, find it, mail it, dun, dun, dun. Why drive all over town this holiday season or get locked into one choice for shipping? Wrap it up with one stop at your neighborhood Postal Antics. Save gas, save time, save money. Mail the cards, pack the presents, ship the gifts. I'm all done. Postal Antics.
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Burntur Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Tuesday morning, brought to you by Grom Bomb, available in four tasty flavors. Stop by the shed and have a can with me. Surf-wise today, looking pretty weak and somewhat bleak as that southwest swell has tapered off. Beautiful morning, clear sunshine, offshore winds, really cold out there, and that surf's running in that ankle knee-high zone. Maybe a few waist outweighs at standout spots, most open to that dropping south swell direction, kind of fading quickly, and beach breaks are kind of rideable on a bigger board. Really nothing at the reefs now with that higher tide. It can only get a little bit better as the day continues, but overall, pretty weak and small. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And for surfboard repair or restoration needs, go see Joe Roper down at Marina Boulevard. John Burr sent you. The authentic surf report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. You're okay. This is Bush and their cover of I'm a Little Teapot Short and Stout.
Can you save that clip? I'll be of Mike saying, I'm a little teapot, short and stout. And actually, I just said it too. Save that for the record. So we're going to get my brother on the line. Yes. And the reason is because you got that deliverance music. I don't know where Jay went. He just disappeared. He was in my line of sight. And then all of a sudden he disappeared. He's playing ping pong with Adam. Are you kidding? I am not playing ping pong. I was talking to Nicole, you crazy kids. Do you have the deliverance music? No. I thought you played it the other day. Oh, now I have the banjo. Yeah. Oh, dueling banjos? Yeah, I got it. Yeah. So, the movie Deliverance, if you've never seen it, it's a film from the 1970s. Nicole is 19 years old. Probably never heard of Deliverance, right? Burt Reynolds, Ned Beatty. John Voight. John Voight. They take this trip down the river. And they're in the deep south. And what do you know? They get lost. And then they get found. Real good. They get found by a family. And the family, I guess, doesn't take well to strangers. Outsiders. Outsiders. Strangers. And so...
Without getting too into it, I will let you know that what they do is they have Ned Beatty squeal like a pig, and you can figure the rest out on your own, okay? It ain't good. It isn't good. It's not what you want as a male. No. Being found in the world. I didn't have to go. You know, I said, remember that part? Yeah, but you want to paint a picture. But you want to paint a picture, Mike. You can YouTube that scene. And they have it done to Yakety Yak or Sackety Yak, and it's the Benny Good... What is the show? Huh? Benny Hill. You know the show Benny Hill? Yes. The music that goes to Benny Hill, it recreates that scene. It's called Yakety Sacks, and it shows that scene from Deliverance where he's in his underwear, and this hillbilly's chasing him around. One of my favorite things is when Jay is doing that, looking over at LOB, and she has a... Quizzic look on her face. Very quizzic. She didn't know this. She's never seen the movie. I understand. None of this makes any sense. All right. Well, here's my interesting story about Deliverance. So here's a film that has very graphic scenes and is a very, very heavy drama and very graphic in nature. And one year as a gift, my brother Steve gave me that movie.
And my brother Steve is on the line right now. And I am just, I always wanted to ask. What better time? I always wanted to ask why you gave me deliverance. Why not? Maybe it was one of those deals. I got to be totally honest with you. You and I talked about this. I'm like, have you ever seen deliverance? And you're like, no, dude, I've never seen deliverance. And I'm like, oh, man, it's crazy. That was it. That was it. And it was. Well, here's the thing, dude. I only saw it on, like, cable TV where they, like, edited it. So I had never really seen it. Oh, dude. Oh, wow. It's crazy. I had never seen the, you know, the real, you know, squeal like a pig the whole bit. Right. So I think you and I watched it. I think we did. I think we did. And I was like, dude.
Okay, so try to get this visual. Steve had only seen the edited version, which was probably horrific enough. Yeah, on TBS on a Sunday or something. And it's scary. I mean, the movie is terrifying. It's terrifying. But on TBS with the edited version, okay? So he gets it for me. Here's a couple of brothers. We just sit down, throw in the movie. All of a sudden, that comes on. It's as graphic as graphic can be. And I mean, seriously, L-O-B. I mean, like, hardcore. And me and Steve are like, oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. So. Yeah. Well, it was. It's a crazy movie. You know, I was telling Mike in the break, Steve, that. It's one of those movies where if your buddy hasn't seen it and you happen to own it, that maybe you lend him. Maybe you don't wrap it up in wrapping paper and give it to him for Christmas. Oh, it's great. It's fantastic. I bet you can't wait to see what you get this year, Mike. I know it. I know it. Oh, my gosh. Steve is the greatest. He's coming out here for Christmas. All right, brother. I love you. All right, dude. See ya.
M1 Sarah from Oceanside. What was the word of the day? T-pop. Correct? You get to go to the Holiday Bowl and see Cal take on the Texas Longhorns. Right on. Hang on a line. I think I know why your brother gave you that movie. Why? Because you kind of look like Ned Beatty. I don't look any. I mean, I'm not in the zip code. If you were just in your underwear in the woods. With two hillbillies. I'd say, hey, is that Ned Beatty? Mine is to go team, baby. L.O.B., do you know who Ned Beatty is? Identical. Ned Beatty. You would pistol whip, Jay. Why? What does he look like? Out of defense for me. I'm loaded on the mic to your page right now. Do you remember the movie Back to School, L.O.B.? Yes. Remember Dean Martin? The dean of that college? I think. That's Ned Beatty. U.S.O.B. Jay.
Jay said he's loading it on our Facebook fan page. I'll show LLB right now and everybody. If she fits. There you go. Do me a favor. Squeal like a pig. Oh, my gosh. Go ahead. Squeal like a pig. Let's see. From Rudy. Is he in Rudy? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Rudy's dad. There you go. That's probably a better reference for me to pull. You monstrous monster. You lose the goatee. You add a white wig. Deliverance is a one-time watch. Is it a horror film? It might as well be. It's horrific. I mean, that's what it's meant to scare you. Yeah. I mean, it's a drama. It kept guys from taking road trips down to the South. I'm not kidding. Yeah, for real. I mean, it did to outdoorsmanship in the Deep South what Jaws did to surfing. That's a true story. True statement. I mean, there's not a dude that watched that movie that was like... Whatever. Yeah. Because you put yourself in that situation and you're like, it's the most horrific thing. Oh, yeah. It's a creeper movie. It's a creeper. And it's a one-timer. Yeah, it's a one-timer. It's this deal. How do you own Schindler's List? Right. You're not going to break that out. No. You're not going to be like...
Hey, guys, it's Christmas. You know, we just watched TV. You know, we just watched a couple of games. You guys want to throw in Schindler's List? You know, people, I said that. Nobody does that. I said that about Passion of the Christ, but people said they watched that over and over. And I'm like, gosh darn, really? I've seen it. Like, I'll do Passion of the Christ, like maybe for Easter. I couldn't make it through the first time. I couldn't make it through the whole thing. Yeah, I remember it almost ruined my mom's life. Yeah. I mean, I had friends that were like. hardcore people like that were like really into bad stuff they went and saw it in the theater and they were like that's it i'm changing like the next day i'm not kidding well there are just some movies that are so heavy and powerful and powerful how do you how do you break that out Some people like to feel, it makes them feel better about themselves. If they're sad. Mystic River was a very sad, disturbing movie, and I watched that more than once. Boring. You thought so? That's crazy. I read the book. Don't hurt me. It's boring. Oh, my God. It's a good movie, but it's kind of boring. Mystic River? Couldn't watch it again. You guys can't high-five. I just high-fived L.B. Holy cow. Just high-fived. Wow. Sorry. It's not really a watch-again movie, I don't think.
It's very drawn out. This was me watching Mystic River. I want to take a scalpel, and I want to cut that brain open, and I want to feel my hand around in that brain of yours. I know. When I said it, I knew that you were going to shoot me some daggers. I want to look at your brain matter and see what it's all about. I want to send it to Vienna, where there's a team of people looking at it, and have them just dissect you. That's what I want. That's what I want, too. M1 Brooklyn. From San Diego. Good morning. Hello. Hey, I just wanted to tell you guys that if, this is a big if, you guys go ahead with Santa Boobies. Thank you, Jay. Yes. I have a comedy. We're not going through with it. We can't. We're not. Come on. We're not. There's not even a big if. We're not. Unreal. Okay. See? I appreciate the idea. And, Jay, I'm with you. Thank you, sir. Maybe you guys do a little side thing together. Maybe.
With Isbell Productions. It's Jay's company. Yeah. He owned it, and then he sold it to his wife. He sold it to his wife. For a profit. For a huge profit. That's right. He's still a majority stockholder, though. Yeah. Hey, has anybody gotten skeeved out ever since I mentioned that ATMs are the most germy things in the world during Christmas time? No, I totally forgot about it. Me too. You did? I never go to them. You don't go to ATMs? Go to Teller. Oh, gosh. What? Go to real people. Hold on. Why? He's full of it. Just stop. You go in the bank. Just stop. Stop the deposits. Jay, you're so... You got business to do? It's not 1842. I haven't been to a teller. Oh. And I'm not kidding. Of course not. I haven't been to a teller in 15 years. Of course. Why not? I had to go once for a cashier's check for rent. That's it. And I was like, what the hell am I doing in here? You get to go in the bank. It's real easy. You go in the bank. You don't have to worry about the machine. Are you that into sex? That you just need it. I go with my wife. Are you so into sex? I go with my wife when my wife goes in. You're so perverted. And you can avoid any things whatsoever. You will even avoid ATMs so that you can look at a rack. Yeah. Usually it's a guy that I end up doing it. Is it? Yeah. Mike, usually it's a guy.
Are you that into bi-curious sex? Yes. Are you that bi-curious? You have to go into the bank. I just like to go in, you know, real people, make sure people have jobs. He's full of it. He's so... He's full of it. This way you make sure people are employed. Yeah. You know, machines are taking over the earth, so... Oh, my God. You probably go through the quick checkout with it. Somebody has to come go get that money out of the ATM. They got to do the maintenance on the ATM. They got to build it. Yeah. One guy opposed to three tellers. There's tellers in there for others. He's so full of S. His eyes are brown. For my masturbation Rolodex, I need to, like, go into the bank. Oh, there's a loan officer in there. Look at the loan officer. You got the monsters. I'm a pervert for going in a bank. Yeah, you're a sex pervert for going to a teller. That's exactly right. You are a sex pervert because you won't use an ATM because you want to go in the bank. Why? Why not? Because the ATM is more convenient. Is it? Isn't it? There's never a line. You walk right in. The person's like, hey, how you doing, Mr. Isbell? I like the comfort of knowing that another human being and I are enjoying each other's company. It's an easy deposit. It's not easy. There's a line. You have to fill out a deposit slip. You got to show them your card. You got to go. Wait. Yes, there's a line. Never. He is a strange bird, that Jay Bird.
Plus, sometimes there's fees associated with an ATM. That's it. That's it. Yeah. Not for your own bank. Not for your own bank. Hey, would you check this out? There's a company out of New York called Free ATMs NYC, and they're going to set up ATMs that don't charge you a fee to take out cash if you're willing to watch a quick commercial. Done. Yeah, of course. Who wouldn't? Well, I'd be inside the bank. Well, the whole point. L.O.B. of the ATM is the brevity, the quickness. But here's the deal. When you go to 7-Eleven to get a, you know, when I play baseball, I got to pay umpire fees. So I always got to get like a 20 out, right? I end up paying three bucks to get 20 out. Now, if I had the option to watch some jewelry store that advertises on that ATM for 30 seconds to save that $3, done. I would too. Done. 30 second spot. I don't necessarily go for the brevity. I just.
Where else do you get cash? Do you have to go stand in line like Jay, like a pervert? Yeah, Jay does it because he's a pervert. Yeah, and they put it in that perverted little envelope. Yeah. It's perverted. I love that envelope. Yeah. It's a demented perversion. Yeah. You waste all the trees by filling out a withdrawal form every time. That's right, Jay. If that catches on, it'd be cool. I would love it. The 30-second commercials that avoid a fee. How long do they go to 60? I can do 60. I can do 60 minutes. One in the beginning, one in the middle. Oh, don't say that, you guys. Then people, the people that are in charge, they'll hear it and they'll be like, well, people put up with 60 seconds. They'll probably give you a choice. Would you like to accept the fee? It's like when you watch things on Hulu, they're like, would you like to watch this three minute thing in the beginning or have commercials all the way throughout? Tell you what, I'll watch 20 minutes of commercials and give me a 20. Absolutely. You get a fresh 20, I'll stand there for 20 minutes. I'll watch a shell oil commercial for 20 minutes, you give me a 20. I actually don't believe that about you, Mike. Come on. You wouldn't stand anywhere. Talk about waiting in lines now. You'll be waiting in lines as a guy in front of you watches commercials. Yeah. Oh my gosh, what a beating. Just come to the teller. Although I do like when you go to get gasoline sometimes now.
And you can watch TV at Shell. I don't like it. It scares me. It scares the crap out of you, one. It's too loud. Plus, I always roll my back window down so I can listen to what I'm listening to on the radio. You guys are some jittery SOBs. Hey there. They scream. It screams at you. It screams. It doesn't. It's okay. I'm driving. And then it repeats. It's four o'clock in the morning. I'm like, I go out and I load up gas. I get, good morning. Welcome to Shell. I swear it's exactly that volume. Plus the new girl that's pimping the card, she seems very snide the way her little smile on her. She gives you this look. What is he? I don't understand. On top of the... Quizzical look. Now that quizzical look from L.O.B. is so genuine. What it's saying right now, the look on L.O.B.'s face is... I heard pimp. They've got a new girl that's dressed in the smock that's supposed to be their gas technician. And she's on top of all the... Shell? Shell, yeah. There's one man in the world that can describe what the shell girl is wearing. That sex predator. She's holding a card. And it is that. She's holding a card. Sex predator. And she looks snide, though. She's like, yeah, get it or you're just stupid. I'm like, I don't want your stupid card. I can't control my horny level. Mike, this is Jay, your producer. I could find sex anywhere. Anywhere.
At a gas station, on a video, in a car wash. If those brushes start turning, you know what I think of? Dongs. Yeah. I think of dongs. If I was fishing by myself at a creek. With a girl who's selling coke at the A&PM, though, on top of the gas station things. She's cute. What? What is strange? Are you on marijuana? Are you on marijuana cigarettes right now? I'm just telling you the girls that are cute on gas pumps. If you were wanting to know. He has a big plastic cup filled with Reuniti on ice. Yes. Sitting out there right now drinking it. He has a jug of Ernest and Julio Gallo under his board. You look and tell me who's cute and who's not there. You got Bartles and James over there? Just James. Girl, how drunk is you? How drunk is you? You're a strange bird. I was just telling you. He's so strange. What else do you have to do? He's so strange. He could be fishing by himself, fly fishing at a river. And if he caught a trout, he'd be like, trout? Like trouser trout. Dong. Looks like a big dong. It's like a dong. This trout's like a dong. It's got a tail. I'm going to get me some tail. I'm going to get me some tail, yeah. Look at that mouth. What a pretty mouth.
Oh, look at the mouth on that. Bernie. Only thing that would make this trout better is if it was a bass or a dong. A dong. Bass dong. He has lost his mind. I'm just telling you. He's fit for a straight jacket. Yes. Mikey, I went horseback riding the other day, and I looked at the horse, and I thought to myself, Man, you almost look like a dong with four legs. I got on that SOB bareback. Yeah. That means no salad. You know what else you can do bareback? Bareback. No condoms. Mike, anything. Throw anything at me. Say one word. You know why I like to surf? Surfboard. Shape like a dong. Give me a word. Robe. Robes what you wear when you're naked with your dong underneath. Wall. A wall protects the dong behind it. But if you break through the wall, like the Kool-Aid guy, oh yeah! There's a dong behind it. Dong first. Dong wall. Dong wall. Yeah, like the great dong wall of China.
Imagine if there was like the great dong wall of China. Billboard. You know what? You get a lot more action off them billboards. There's dong or a pair of tees on it. That's right. A lot more. There was one boob on it. Oh, it hurts. M1 Lauren from San Diego is online. Agrees with Jay. Thank you. Go ahead, Lauren. Ayo. Totally. Right. It's way better going inside. Plus, the argument that wasting paper going inside is invalid because the ATM prints you a receipt every time. No, you can choose not to have a receipt. Well, yeah, you can choose not to. Well, I haven't used an ATM in forever, so I wouldn't know that because I always go inside. Thank you. Why?
You don't need to use the deposit slip. You don't have to sit there and fill it out. They'll fill it out for you. That's right. Still a slip, though. Still a piece of paper. And if you want, Lauren, if you want to get $20, why are you going to a bank to get it? It's so easy. It's inefficient. Thank you. The bank that I go to does not have a drive-up ATM. You don't have to have drive-up. Drive-up. Drive-up. It's inefficient to me. Yeah. So I as well have a nice personable experience. Yeah. What do you do? Okay. What do you do? You know what this sucks? This sucks. If you're planning for your weekend and you're that guy that just refuses to get money out of an ATM. What do you think, $300 for your weekend just in case? Yeah, I'll lose it. It's nice to have. You'll lose it? It's nice to be able to go back and forth to the ATM if you need it. Get a couple hundred out for the week. What's good for the goose isn't always good for the gander. I guarantee you, he wants to look at the teller. Yeah. And I guarantee you. He goes to the ATM. He's been to the ATM four times this week. I have not. You're full of it. I didn't think.
That's what the real deal. He's been to the ATM. I swear to you. I can't remember the last time I went to the ATM. Oh, shut up, Jay. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The Ford year-end celebration is on now at your San Diego County Ford dealers. You'll find huge savings, low financing, and incredible lease payments on our entire lineup of fuel-efficient cars, like the 41 MPG Fusion Hybrid, the 40 MPG Fiesta, even the new 40 MPG 2012 Ford Focus, now available for just $169 a month for 27 months with $23.98 due at signing. That's right, just $169 a month for a 40 MPG Focus.
Don't miss the year-end celebration. I'm now at your San Diego County Ford dealer. Ford, built for San Diego. EPA estimated Focus or Fiesta SE with SFE package. Not all buyers will qualify for low-mileage Ford credit red carpet lease. Payments may vary. Dealer determines prices. Cash due at signing is after 500 trade-in assistance cash. Available on 1996 or newer vehicle trade-in or lease terminated from 12-1-11 to 1-2-12. Lessee responsible for access wear and mileage over 23,625 miles at 20 cents per mile. Take retail delivery from dealer stock by 1-2-12. See dealer for qualifications and details. M1 Lily, are you there? Hello. You called AIS, and what happened? Well, I called them because I called my regular car insurance to pay my six-month premium, and it almost doubled before I even, I don't even exactly know why. Once I found out, it seemed to be a big surprise to me as to why it increased. Uh-huh. So I remember hearing AIS all the time on the Mikey show, so I go ahead and give him a call, and within like half an hour, AIS found a company that had the same coverage. Uh-huh.
half the price of the new premium of my old insurance. So they ended up saving me like $600 in 25 minutes. That's amazing. And that is a real story. And the number is 1-800-777-4AIS, 1-800-777-4247. Were you kind of kicking yourself like, why didn't I do this sooner? insurance. I didn't know about AIS at all. And then all of a sudden I called the agent just to pay my bill. And out of nowhere, got this increase. And I thought, yeah, why don't I do this sooner? That's awesome. Lily, thank you so much for the call. We appreciate it. Thank you. We'll see you. This fall, Warren Miller's Like There's No Tomorrow will bring you on a global tour of the perfect winter. Adjust your gear, take a deep breath, and shred, launch, spin, charge like there's no tomorrow. Join Warren Miller cinematographer Tom Day as he shoots his first 800-inch California winter and captures incredible powder turns laid down in Squaw Valley by Johnny Mosley, J.T. Holmes, Michelle Parker, and more. India, Chile, New Zealand, Norway, it's all here. So get out there and buy tickets like there's no tomorrow because tickets are on sale now. Check warrenmiller.com for details.
FM 94.9 welcomes Warren Miller's Like There's No Tomorrow to Encinitas this week. Check it out at the La Paloma Theater on December 10th. Ticket holders get buy one, get one free lift ticket offers to Heavenly and Mountain High and $25 off at Sports Chalet. Get your tickets at ticketfly.com, select Sports Chalet stores, and at theater box offices. Check warrenmiller.com for more information. I'm thirsty. How thirsty? Really thirsty. When's the last time you looked in the fridge? I don't know. When was the last time Mom went shopping? Uh, like today. You should really check it out. And grab yourself a bottle of Arrowhead brand 100% Mountain Spring water while you're in there. Why is it snoring in our refrigerator? That was Grinchmas, and that's why we're drinking Arrowhead water. Why? Because every specially marked bottle of Arrowhead water lets you save $15 on general admission to Universal Studios Hollywood, where the whole family can play in real snow, see the celebrity tree lighting, and meet the Grinch and his dog, Max, too. Then I'm putting Arrowhead on my Grinchmas list. Save $15 on general admission to Universal Studios Hollywood when you bring a specially marked Arrowhead label to the front gate ticket booth.
Offer ends 430-12. Restrictions apply. Visit UniversalStudiosHollywood.com slash Arrowhead for full terms and conditions. That's the sound of the fuse burning. As long as it's burning, there's still time to get to the BMW Mission to Drive sales event on now at your local BMW center. While you can, take advantage of an up to $2,500 credit toward a new BMW. Hmm, those are real sparks. Test drive any model from the legendary lineup, including the all-new 6 Series, featured in the new movie Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol in theaters this December. Technologically advanced and fuel efficient, every BMW earns the title The Ultimate Driving Machine. That fuse is burning down remarkably fast. Take advantage of this immediately, as the $2,500 credit will soon self-destruct. There. I made it with two inches of fuse to spare. Don't cut it that close.
Come in today. Hurry into the BMW Mission to Drive sales event today for an up to $2,500 credit towards a new 2012 BMW. Visit SDCountyBMW.com slash finance for details. What's two plus two plus two? Four. Because at Denny's, for just $4, you get two fluffy buttermilk pancakes, two eggs cooked to order, and two pieces of sizzling bacon or sausage. Yeah, we're open to new math. Start your day with a $4 everyday value slam from our 2468 value menu. Only at Denny's. America's Diner is always open. Prices and participation may vary. My robotic assistant Al and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Scion's claim certified by AMCI Testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. If you like Jimmy, and if you like Willie, you're going to love Lucas Nelson and Promise of the Real, appearing live on behalf of Jobs for Autism, Saturday, December 10th.
8.30 p.m. at the North Park Theater, 2891 University Avenue. See this next legend of rock and roll? You'll be blown away. Tickets available online at jobsforautism.com. Be there. Traffic brought to you by Juan Juanisa Insurance. With Juan Juanisa's recent change in car rates, many San Diego good drivers could save even more by switching. Wow. Call 877-WA-WANESA or go... to wellwinisaus.com. 15 southbound on El Norte Parkway, wrapping up a crash, everything on the right side, but heavy from Deer Springs Road. South 5 at Genesee, a wreck on the right shoulder, and 805 northbound slow and go from Highway 54 to Claremont Besa Boulevard. Also brought to you by the Port of San Diego, the San Diego Bay Parade of Lights is Sunday. Watch decorated boats float along the bay, view from a waterfront seat, or dining at Big Bay Restaurant. Visit bigbay.com. Judy Gale on FM 94.9. I can't do anything. I can't do anything at all. Lauren. I wash my hands like a thousand times. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. So the deal is. On Friday at 7.30 a.m.
We're either going to see Lauren in a bikini or Jay in a bikini. But we're going to see one of them in a bikini. So the payoff is either sexy or funny. Let's see, what do I got for you? Zach Tomaselli. He is the guy that is accusing the ex-Syracuse basketball coach of sexually molesting him. And he says, you know, that this happened over a period of time. When he was 13 years old, he himself is going to be up on sex abuse charges. It's one of the strangest stories. Woods, what's going on in sports? Speaking of creepy sex perverts, all eight of the boys that were sexually abused by former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky will testify against him. Preliminary hearing is December 13th. They are doing a lottery.
Four seats to that courtroom. Oh, wow. It's going to be crazy. And then also yesterday, the Miami Marlins formalized a three-year deal with former Padre closer Heath Bell. They were talking to Heath. He did a little press conference. This is what he's excited about. Cut to. You got a new name. It's the Miami Marlins. Brand new stadium. I mean, there's a lot of buzz in Miami. You can see the ownership. They want to go win. They're building a stadium. They want to go out and get key guys. And they want to put a great organization together for not just this year, but for many years on. Must be refreshing. Yeah. I don't understand the Padres. Humongous deal. If we build this stadium, they will put a product on the field. And it just seems like every time they cultivate an incredible talent, they sell them. They've done it over and over again. Jake Peavy. Adrian Gonzalez. Heath Bell. When are they going to start paying off on this thing? I mean, empty stadium in 2012. Oh, please. Yeah. It's sad. Well, who do you go see? Who are you going to see? First of all, the product that they put out there just hasn't been good. And then who's the stars? I can't name one. Cameron Maben.
Is that the biggest name on the Padres now? He's the one with the most upside, I think. Orlando Hudson? No. Had a terrible year last year. Anthony Rizzo is one of those guys that if he can start... playing up to what everybody thinks, he could be the next Adrian Gonzalez. I mean, that's why you trade an Adrian for a young kid like that, along with a package of other guys. But, you know, Aaron Harang is gone, their most winning pitcher. Their closer is gone. Heath Bell. It's going to be a lean, lean year next year. I mean, listen, the winter meeting started yesterday in Dallas for baseball. So unless they got a lot of dough they're planning on spending that we didn't know about. Well, I want to know what the deal is because here's one of the things that I know is that there was like a divorce. There was a divorce going on. Yes. Between the owner of the team and his wife. And then he was selling. Here? Yes. The Morant? No. L.A.
No, before the Morads. Oh, before the Morads. Yeah. Who was the owner of the Padres? Somebody call. 570-1949. And there was a divorce that was going on. And it was like, and they sold to the Morads, but they didn't give the whole team to the Morads. There was still like partial ownership. Sure. It's before my time here. Yeah. And so it's not like the Morads own the team outright. Right. It's still partially owned. No, it's Chargers. 5701949. Somebody knows. Yeah, Padre Historian, call. And tell us what the deal is. Heath Bell is a friend. We're going to have him on pretty soon. He texted me, said a call today. He's going to call in 10 minutes. Solid. Okay, cool. So we'll find out. Yeah, it's, you know.
When I first moved to town, they were a good, exciting young team, and they had Adrian leading the way. They traded him and couldn't win last year. Mikey Show, who's this? Mikey Show, who's this? Who is this? Kevin. Hi, Kevin. Can you tell me about this thing? Yeah, the guy's name was John Morse. Morse. He got divorced, and Morad couldn't afford the entirety of the team. There it is. And so it was like he kind of bought it. But it's still... Sorsham of people bought it, and they bought it over a couple years. So now he owns the team. Jeff Morad owns the team now. He owns them outright now? No, I mean, of course there's minority owners. See, I thought it was going to be like a five-year phase-in kind of deal, like a three to five. I remember it was three to five years of a phase-in where it was going from the Moore family to the Morads. Correct. Yeah.
But what I do know is that we don't have a pool hulse. We don't have an A-Rod. We don't have... And the reason for that is that San Diego is supposedly a small market. BS. We've got everything else. BS. Look at the Cardinals. That St. Louis is so much more of a bigger market than San Diego. Give me a break. You know what I mean? Miami. Miami. Miami. I mean, they're spending money right now. Now, listen, what they're doing and what they've done with Heath Bell, they also signed Jose Reyes, who is one of the best players in baseball for last year. Now, they signed him to a $100 million contract. Those don't always work out. They're also going after Albert Pujols heavily. The Marlins, the team that Heath Bell will be playing on. So potentially next year he could be coming in, having Jose Reyes at short, Hanley Ramirez at third, who's one of the best in the game, and Pujols at first. A filthy team, but they're spending money. They have a new stadium. They're wanting to put a badass product on the field. This has been constant rebuilding, constant rebuilding since 98, 99. I wish that we could have the owners of the Padres call with truth serum.
And I can interview them with truth serum. Yeah. And I can say, so explain. How is it that you are getting rich? Because you are. I mean, and you're doing it on our backs. Yeah. Like you're doing it on the backs of fans. And they're doing it on the backs of other major league teams that people love to complain about, like the Yankees, like the Red Sox, that put money back into luxury tax. They write them a check. The reports I read last year is the Padres got a $40 million check from luxury tax money. Their payroll was $42 million. $2 million out of pocket, $40 on the house. What? Bam. Yeah. And how are you losing money? That has got to make Padre fans crazy. And players. And players. And players. Dragging your butt 162 days to the ballpark. Football's a very hard sport. Baseball's a grind.
That is a grind. 162 games every year. Grind. And let's say you're out of it by May. It's May and you're like, we have no shot. We have no shot. How do you do it? Well, see, let's say I won the lottery and I won the lottery for $200 million and I bought the Padres. My thinking, and maybe I'm wrong about this, but my thinking is, let's say that I... throw a bunch of money at the Padres, and I bring in these big names, and they go to the World Series, and they win it, I'm going to make a ton of money because then the stadium's going to be packed, probably get a ton of dough for TV, we'll sell a bunch of merchandise, and I'll be even richer. Like, what I don't understand is, I'll buy a team, I'll put a turd on the field, nobody will come. How does that make business sense? Here's the vicious circle that happens. With small market teams like the Potters, and I say small market because it's small payroll. So when I first moved to town, which was two years ago, they had a young upstart team that was playing way above their potential. They were in first place for a lot of that year. Nobody went. Nobody went to see them play. But Woods, you're not, now you're getting history living here. Yeah, oh yeah. What you didn't know was all the years before.
where it was the same crap. The last time they went to the playoffs was in 2004. It's hard to make money if people aren't in the seats. It's hard to want to go to a game if there's nobody to see. And that is a vicious circle that it's hard to get out of. And, you know, for when I moved here, the talent level has gone, and it's getting worse every day. Well, now we lost Heath Bell, and Heath is going to be calling in in just a couple of minutes. and we'll ask him about going to the Miami Marlins. Used to be the Florida Marlins, now the Miami Marlins. New stadium, new team. What's that like? So you have to pick up your kids and your family and everybody goes? Yeah, I guess. We've got to ask him. I don't know how it works. I think a lot of times what happens is that these guys are moving around so much that they have a home. He actually does. He has a home in Florida. He does? Mm-hmm. M1 Drew from San Marcos, are you there? I'm actually from San Luis Obispo, but that's okay. Oh, go ahead. I just wanted to elaborate on what the other guy said, that San Diego definitely is the smallest market in all of Major League Baseball. Smallest market or smallest payroll? Smallest market. No way. Okay, you go north, you have the Angels and the Dodgers. You go far enough east, you got the Diamondbacks. And what's to the south? You got Mexico. You go west and you got water.
St. Louis has all of Missouri. Milwaukee? They got the whole state? What other team is there? Yeah, but there's different teams. I mean, there's different teams, but as far as people and... Dude, there's 3 million people in San Diego. Right. There's more people in the state of Missouri. I get what you're saying, but... Are you saying that that's all they have? Yeah, you only have the San Diego area and Mexico. Yeah, but I... I'm still not seeing the argument for we're the smallest market in Major League Baseball. I don't think we are. I think Woods is right. There's smaller markets. Milwaukee's got to be a smaller market. St. Louis is, if anything, the same. I mean, I'm talking, you know, small cities. And I see what you're saying, too. But I think that there's a lot of fickle fans, you know, and for good reason. For good reason. That kind of adds to it also, you know.
We've got 3 million people that live here, and we've got an owner that said if we approve a stadium, he'll build it, and then he'll put a great winning product on the field, and it hasn't happened. And you cannot beat that stadium with a stick. It's freaking phenomenal. It's phenomenal. It's amazing. M1 Ryan from Oceanside has the answers to a lot of these questions. Are you there, Ryan? I am here, Mikey. Go ahead. So I think what it is is... All the San Diego fans, including the Chuggers, when both the teams do good, when they do bad, nobody likes them, and that's why they don't spend the money. You don't think the team spends the money because why? Well, they don't spend the money because maybe they're greedy, but like Wood said, since he got here, we had a killer team when he first got here. Losing Bell? Like, come on, man. I mean, who do you go see? Who is your superstar up there? And, you know, if you're a Washington Nationals fan before last year, you know why you went to Washington Nationals ballpark? To see Steven Strasburg. You know why you go to see Cardinals games? You go to see Albert Pujols. I mean, those are the guys that can take a city, put it on their back, and carry a city.
You know, a small market, a Ryan Braun in Milwaukee, a Prince Fielder in Milwaukee. You know, guys like that, dude, you take your butt to the ballpark to watch Ryan Braun play every day, period. M1, Evan in San Diego, are you there? Michael. Sorry, Michael, go ahead. Yeah, we don't have a big market in San Diego because we don't have cornfields. That's the difference. You know, people are playing sand volleyball and surfing. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot more to do. Yeah, and I agree with Woody. I think that we should, you know. Look at what the Penguins did with Mary Lemieux. They brought him in. They paid him a grip of money that they couldn't even pay him, actually. And they promised him, you know, we'll pay you later on after we build a team around him. That's exactly what they did. They went to the Stanley Cup. Well, and the deal is they'll have a guy like that here. They'll have a Jake Peavy. They'll have a Gonzo. And then it's like, well, we're not going to pay him when his contract's up, so we need prospects. I like how you chose a hockey team as a point of reference. That's true, though. It's true. Yeah, Lemieux was a... So what they did was they gave him a piece of the ownership. Of the team, yeah. He was a beast, and eventually they got to where they wanted to be. Now, imagine taking a Lemieux onto a team, and then once he gets great and his contract is up for renewal, they go. You trade him to the Rangers, right. Yeah, they're like, we're not going to pay him. We're clearly not going to pay him. I mean, you've had him here, man. You had Tony Gwynn for years to build a team around. And you did. You built some decent teams. You made it to the World Series. So 570-1949.
We'll have Heath on in a second. Heath is one of my Be Different guys. BeDifferentPact.org. Good dude. Heath Bell is a good dude. Good dad. Really good dad. Really cares. Cares about the community he lives in. Cares about the people. Yeah, it's not just a loss on the field here. Yeah, Heath Bell is a big deal. Guys involved in a lot of charities. You know, man, and I went to FanFest the last two years, and you know the face that I saw there both times was Heath Bell. You know what I saw him doing? I saw him in the bullpen teaching little kids how to pitch and spending time doing interviews and things like that. Listen, I'm a Yankee fan, but if you go to the Yankees FanFest, you know who you're not going to see down there? Jeter and A-Rod more than likely. Maybe Jeter, probably not A-Rod, but Heath Bell's a superstar of this team, and he knew that, and he took that responsibility, and he went and did it. It's a huge loss. And he really loves, he really, really loves the game. Yeah. The one thing that I think is so cool about Heath, I remember he and I were talking one time about Hawaii. We both love the south side of Maui. And we were talking about that one time. And so Rebecca and I went there and I took a picture of the ocean and I texted it to him. And I said,
Not a bad view. And he texted me right back with a picture of Petco, and he was walking into Petco, and he goes, not a bad view. Wow. That is badass. And I showed it to Rebecca. I go, that's a guy that really, I mean, he loves. How could you not? So for me, it's really sad on just so many levels, you know. He's just such a great player and somebody that we shouldn't be losing. Let's see. All right, well, let's do this. I got to take a timeout, but there's still, gosh, man, there's a lot of people calling in that want to talk. M1 Evan from San Diego, are you there? Yeah, how you guys doing? Good. I got a quick question for you guys. You sit here and you complain about the Padres and how they don't put a product on the field. Aside from the radio-sponsored events where you go down there, how many games have the four of you been to within the last three years? Woods first.
10. For me, I was a season ticket owner in 2004, and then once I had kids, nah, I haven't been to, I've been to two. Okay. Woods has been to a lot, though. Well, you know, you haven't been there in the last six or seven years. I can understand with, you know, the kids and different expenses, but... I mean, I'm a Philadelphia Phillies fan. I moved here three years ago. And one thing that we do is we don't stand for an owner who puts crap on the field. What do you do? Do you riot? Do you occupy? You occupy. Yeah, what we do is we go to the stadium and we boo. Hey, they do. That is true. That is the most attended sports in all the different leagues. Like, you combine football, hockey, baseball, all the cities, all the leagues, the Philadelphia Phillies is the most attended. Really? Yes, sports team. Philly fans are very vocal. Philly fanatics, man. More losses than any franchise in the history of professional sports. And Cole Hamels won the World Series MVP. He came out the next year in his first start. He gave up three runs in the first inning. And we booed him off the mound. Yeah. Hey, I'm a Yankee fan. You don't have to tell me. I know how it works. I think it's the biggest joke that these San Diego, quote, fans.
They complain about the Chargers moving up to L.A. or the Padres stinging. Yet, they can't even sell out a home football game. That's fair enough. Fans are softer here. They're a little softer. It's 100% true. People just go to the beach afterward. They don't care. I don't think the city is worth a professional franchise. If you draw 8,000 people to a Major League Baseball game, I don't care if it's Anthony Gonzalez or Adrian Gonzalez or Anthony Rizzo. I mean, if you want to support the team, go down the ballpark. Pay her $12. It's not expensive. And boo the team. Show the owner you're not happy. Well, I'm caught in between that situation that I talked about earlier where it stings the most when somebody's right. And so I'm caught between, yeah, you're 100% right. And then I'm also, I've got this emotion that goes, concerning the Chargers, it's a freaking toilet, bro. They play in a toilet. Ask LOB. I've been to Veterans Day. The vet. Yeah, the vet was a toilet. It's a turd. Biggest Labrador retrievers running around that stadium. It's a turd. It's a turd. And they tore it down. You got me. It's true. You know what? I can't defend it. Won't change anything. It's no spectrum. I can't defend it. Yeah, man. The Boston Garden. Turd. Turd. Turd. Turd. Seats with poles in them. In front of them. I've seen them. I've been there.
It's a turd. It was cold, drafty. Wrigley Field is an old turd. You know what, though? We don't have great, great grandfathers who had season tickets. That's true. I think there's a combination of just way too much going on around here. I mean, in Philly, the whole city is affected by a loss. Oh, yeah. The Eagles lose the playoff game. You'll get 50% of the office calling out for work the next day. Oh, yeah. And everyone walks around with a sourpuss all week until the next game. And then when they win, it's the happiest place on earth. I'm still getting over the Phillies losing to the Cardinals. I have the game on DVR. I watch it at home, and I think Abanez, that ball's going over the fence. That's a different environment than we live in. It's different. It is. Different environment than we live in. All right, we're waiting on Heath. Thanks for the call. Come back. Most likely, you're talking to me. Nice. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. You've got to go. Call 570-1949. Here comes the best part. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. You guys care about the rules? More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Celebrate. On FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9.
supported by our good friends at Sports Chalet. Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like Brunch with Bob presents Lee Scratch Perry, the legendary. That's a fourth and beat this Friday night. Saturday night, you can see the Adolescence and Youth Brigade at Brick by Brick. The Boxer Rebellion are at the Cowspot on the 12th. On the 13th, Dinosaur Jr. with an interview during the show by Henry Rollins. That's at the Belly Up. And Pinback plays there on the 19th. For New Year's Eve, English Beat will play at the Belly Up. If you head to the... The Lafayette Hotel, it's going to be a huge party and transfer and the silent comedy and low volts and creepy creeps. A bunch of bands are playing that. And you can get rooms at the Lafayette, too. And for 2012, two nights of no effects at House of Blues. We'll see Wilco, Not a Surf, Dr. Dog, Young the Giant, Craig Finn of The Hold Steady, and Robert Riot. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. SanDiego.com has a great restaurant deal for you this week with 50% off to Station Sushi in Bird Rock. Located in the heart of La Jolla, Station Sushi is one of the best sushi bars in San Diego County. Whether you're set to party with a group of friends or looking for some quality family time together, Station Sushi is the place to be. The rolls and sashimi are amazing and the cocktails are top notch. Try the monkey stick roll and an ice cold cure and draft beer. Their awesome crew is always ready to serve and the atmosphere is friendly and inviting.
Station Sushi also does private parties at their location in Bird Rock, so if you're looking for a holiday party destination with a great vibe and amazing sushi, check out Station Sushi. HalfPriceSanDiego.com has more great deals this December, so if you haven't signed up yet, it's free to use, and you can start saving money on great local businesses in San Diego. Our members save hundreds of dollars every year and get to try new and exciting restaurants, spas, attractions, and more. Half Price San Diego also has access to deals those other sites don't. So if you like saving money, you'll love HalfPriceSanDiego.com. Hey, gang, it's your old pal Woodsy. And your old pal L.O.B. We are very excited to tell you about Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center where we both got LASIK surgery done. That's right. Yeah, I went in on a Friday. To get my free consultation. Felt really at ease with all the technology they had. Just the knowledge of the staff. The friendliness of the staff. The cleanliness of the place. Next Friday I was in. Got my surgery. It was about 10 minutes. Took me. Next day I was seeing 2015. I had my surgery on a Friday. It was during my birthday. On Sunday I went to a baseball game. And I played in said baseball game. Against doctor's orders. But I could see so well. I did not want to.
Wait another day to get back on the field. So get into Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. It's very easy. All you have to do is call them today, 858-452-3937. Again, it's 858-452-3937. Tell them the LOB or what's he sent you from the Mikey Show. They are going to take such good care of you in there. And let us know. I've heard from a lot of M1s that are now, they're making their appointments, they're booking their appointments, they're getting their consultation. And we have $1,000 off coupons for the people that let us know that they have their surgery booked. So get in touch with us if you do do that. It's Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center, affordability, technology, and experience. Hey, this is LOB, and it's December, and that means what, Woodsy? It's time to get your holiday shopping done now. You've got to give the gift of great hair like ours. Oh, yeah. I've got... if I do say so myself, fabulous hair. Yeah, I've been using the Men's Max Pack, and I started using Ovation because I saw how amazing my wife Jamie's hair looked. It looked incredible. Well, not to mention my hair, which I come in here every morning just flaunting it about. Yes. Smells delicious. Smells amazing. And L.O.B., it's longer than it's ever been. It is actually longer than it's ever been. Right now is the best time for you to try Ovation because not only is it a really good price that they have going on for their holiday gift set,
But if you enter FM 949 at checkout, you're going to get a special introductory discount. We got a message that they are almost out of this holiday gift pack. They're almost sold out. You need to get in there now. So go to OvationHair.com and enter FM 949 at checkout. You're going to get that special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and enter FM 949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. My favorite instrument is the triangle. My favorite flavor is caramel. My favorite animal is the seahorse. My favorite word is undulating. My favorite parent is my mom. Sorry, dad. My favorite McCafe drink? I can't pick just one. Come take a fresh look at McCafe's luscious beverages made just for you with real whipped cream, rich chocolate, and drizzled indulgently with caramel. Whether it's the new caramel hot chocolate or an iced or hot caramel mocha, stop in today to find your new favorite, the simple joy of caramel at participating McDonald's. Listen to this. What? You know what? You better sit down. But we're in an elevator. Trust me. Sit down. Fine. Ow. Oh, sorry. It's okay. It's back. What's back? It. You mean? Yep. Awesome. Excuse me, what's back? McRib. Tender pork. Slathered in tangy barbecue sauce. Pickles. Onions. Toasted bun. I love McRib. Can I get your number? The McRib sandwich is back for a limited time. Just $2.79. Only at McDonald's. Price and participation may vary. Mama Dietz here, chairman of Dietz & Watson. It's the holidays. Things can get stressful, especially when you're a host.
Well, guess what? You can relax. That's right. Relax. It's the holidays. Because Dietz & Watson has been preparing your holiday party since 1939. Four generations, 72 years, working on your 2011 holiday party. Our party trays and holiday hams don't have artificial flavor. They don't have additives. Those things weren't around in 1939. And at Dietz & Watson, they still aren't. So relax. Unless your holiday ham or party tray isn't from Dietz & Watson. In that case, start freaking out, hon. Insist on Dietz & Watson at your favorite market and deli. And happy hosting days to you and yours. You can get in line or charge ahead. Blend in or break through. Settle. or unleash. If you believe in challenging the status quo instead of accepting it, then your car is waiting. Infinity. With more daring designs, more powerful engines, and world's firsts like a round view monitor and blind spot intervention system, Infinity challenges everything a luxury car can be. Consider this your cry of defiance. Infinity. Inspired performance. Infinity is also challenging what a lease offer can be.
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Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Woods. I can put down a 20 pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. And Jake. No, I didn't cry. I'm a man. On FM 94.9. We got him on the phone now. Hi, Heath. Hey, how you doing? Good, man. Heath Bell on the line. found out that you're going to be going to Miami, and it's no longer the Florida Marlins, now it's the Miami Marlins. Yeah, Miami Marlins. Brand new stadium, brand new look. Brand new stadium, brand new look. Now, I always preface, whenever I talk to Heath, I always have to tell him, I don't know much about baseball, so I always ask questions because out of the purest of curiosity.
But this is the biggest question that I had. How come the Padres, you're the biggest and best player on the Padres? And so now you're going and on a personal level, you know, I'm stoked for you because it's going to be a, you know, you're going to go to a winning franchise. But what I don't get is just from the baseball side of it, why not just, why don't they keep you? You know, really, you'd have to ask them. I mean, it's one of those things I think I tried everything I could think of, me and my wife, to tell the front office that I wanted to stay here. My biggest thing is, you know, I always talk that I want a three-year deal because three-year deals, guys don't get traded. And I didn't want to sign here and then end up getting traded. in a year or two, kind of like I was speculating to get traded last year and a little bit the year before, and my name was mentioned three years ago. So I just wanted to know that I was going to be here, and they were not guaranteeing me that I would be here. You know, it all depends on how the team does. So, you know, it was one of those situations, me and my wife talked, and we had to come up with a decision. It was a hard decision, but Miami really wanted us and was really aggressive.
It's kind of nice to have a team that was gung-ho for you, and that's why I ended up going to Miami. I'm going to miss San Diego, really am. I'm going to make this my home. My kids love it here. It's going to be really hard to miss all the fans out there. We come back in May. I already checked that out. First week of May, we're out here in San Diego playing the Padres. Hopefully, I don't get booed too bad like I was in New York. You know, I'll tell you, man, it's tough because, you know, we were talking about it before you came on and just what a good dude you are, man, and what you mean to the city and what you've done and the kind of stuff that you do. And it's not just what you do on the field. It's what you do off the field, too, that I think we'll miss. And it also helps that you are the best player on the field. And now, you know, we were talking about it. What's going on with the organization? You know, they said, if we vote that stadium in, they'll put a great product on the field. Well, they'll get great players like you, like Adrian, like Jake. And then you guys, they let you go. And as a fan, we don't get it. And I'm sure as a player, even you don't get it.
Yeah, it's got to really be frustrating. For me, at a personal level, I think a baseball player or any sports athlete needs to give back to the community because if it wasn't for the community, we wouldn't be doing what we're doing. So you've really got to put, you know, it's just part of the gig, part of the job to give back and try to talk to every single person out there. But, you know, it's the situations that, you know, unfortunately we do have a different owner than the owner that we have now. I know he's still purchasing the team. But he's not the one who brought the stadium to downtown. But, you know, it's got to be frustrating for fans. It definitely is because I'm kind of somewhat, you know, I've been a Padre fan most of my career or most of my life. It's one of those situations that you've had great players, and for some reason we just don't keep them or whatnot. So, you know, it's kind of mind-boggling. But, you know, hopefully sometime in the future, you know, the young guys that are there now, like the Latoses and Mavens. Clayton Richards and Nick Humley's and Chase Hedley's, maybe the Rizzo's, they can start locking those guys up long term. So, you know, I hope San Diego starts doing that because, you know, the fans really want, you know, them to lock up guys long term and, you know, three or four years and kind of like everyone else was doing in the league. So it's a little frustrating, but, you know, hopefully it'll come around.
Who's going to succeed you out of the bullpen in the ninth next year? If you had to guess, who's got the stuff to be the next closer of the Padres? Well, I think Luke Gregerson has the possibility. He's got the first crack at it. I really do. The up-and-coming guy, I'd say Ernie Ernesto, probably has the best stuff. He had kind of a down year last year. But I think overall, he's a little bit better than Brad Brock. But Brad Brock has potential. I just think he's maybe two years away of really... dominating, and he just needed to get that fire underneath him and that confidence there, kind of what Ernie lacked last year. It's going to be tough. watching that ninth inning with a one-run lead knowing that you're not running out of that bullpen next year. I know it. I'm telling you. I know it, man. It's going to be tough for me because I'm going to be on the East Coast. I'm going to be able to watch the West Coast bullpen, and I'm going to see my ex-teammates and my boys out there going out there and pitching, and I'm not even part of it. Well, you've got to be excited, though. I mean, this Miami team that you're going to, dude, with Jose Reyes now and potentially Albert Pujols and Hanley Ramirez and Josh Johnson,
that's a batch of studs that you don't find across Major League Baseball. It's true. I'm going to a team that the owner told me. He goes, we're not trying to win in a few years. We're trying to win now. Wow. Gosh darn, man. We got a new stadium. I want the buzz. But he goes, I want to win. And he showed me his World Series championship ring. He goes, I want another one of these. And I want a few more of these. Wow. That's why I'm going out and getting everybody. So it's really exciting to see and to hear. It's refreshing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. It was really cool. I really appreciate him. And you know what? I don't think there is a person in the world that would fault you for making this choice, man. I think you made the right choice. I got a buddy, Bobby T, that keeps texting me. He's like, no, no. Yeah. You know, dude, it's tough to lose you, but you know what, man? It's good that you're going to a place where the owner is saying, I want you. You mean something to me. You know, the good thing is my wife's plan for us is to go to Miami for four years and then finish up my career back in San Diego. Well, your number should be up there with the rest of them out there, you know, the Winfields, the Garvies, the Hoffmans. I mean, you're an integral part of this franchise here, and it should be up there too.
I think I need a couple more years to kind of prove myself to get up to that status, but I appreciate it. Heath, are you keeping the place out here? Are you going to sell it? No, no. I have a daughter almost in high school, and we're going to make this our home. I mean, this is a beautiful country out here, San Diego. We're not leaving San Diego. The family's not leaving San Diego, and every offseason I'm definitely coming back because I love the city of San Diego. Don't really want to leave at all. Just have to work someplace else. Yep, yep. Well, Heath, you know, best of luck to you, dude. And, hey, on a personal level, I hope you get that ring, too. Yeah, absolutely. I would love to see that ring on you. If I get a ring, I'll bring it in to you guys. Come on and see us, man. Be awesome, Heath. Be awesome. The funny thing is the owner, his ring is, like, way bigger than anybody's. And I've seen Kevin Millar's Red Sox ring, and you'd think theirs would be big. That's great. That's great, man. Well, best of luck to you, Heath. You're a great dude. Go get him, man. Great dude, and go get him. All right. Thanks, guys. Take care. We'll see you. Bye. It's sad. I'll tell you what else, now that I think about it. Not the wisest of moves because he did have a lot of value last year. And, you know, if he's going to leave anyway at the end of the year and, you know, a team – because you had to know somebody's going to pursue him because he's a great, great closer. You know, now to get –
essentially nothing for him to get nothing in return for you know at least with with gonzo we got some guys that that may work out in the future and have a lot of promise he heath is is just going i mean he's just going and we get nothing in return but you know heartache for losing our closer and the thing that was the most compelling to me talking to him was the drastic and the vast chasm that exists between the ownership here And the ownership there. And what they were saying to him here and what they weren't saying. What they didn't say to him because as I read in the paper, it said, hey, I never heard from the new GM, Burns. I never heard from him. He may have talked to my agent, but I never. That's the call that you take the job as the GM. The first call you make is, hey, it's Josh. Listen, I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know this. I want you here and I want to keep you. And not only that. He's at rest. And bro.
You call Heath and you go, hey, I'm coming to your house. Let's have lunch. Let's have lunch at your house. Anyone that's played any sport knows you have to get pumped up for it. You can't just be complacent and you can't just be all lackadaisical. That's so true. It's so true. Well, moving forward, Padre fans, maybe the guy that called in a little earlier, he's got a point. You know, maybe as Padre fans, when we do go to the games, we need to be more vocal so that the ownership does something. The first Padre game I went to, when it was still at Qualcomm, we went to see the Phillies. And we were like, you know, just doing what we do. And we were yelling the whole time. And then the Phillies killed the Padres. So we left in, you know, the eighth inning. And these fans went, thank God we got up in love. Because we were like vocal the whole time. They sat the whole time just. You know what's hard, though? Imagine going to the game and you're booing the players. And it's not their fault. I mean, it's not their fault. It's their boss's fault. And the players are what they put on the field. And you want those guys to do well. It's hard to boo an owner, you know, and the players not feel that. Nobody wants to go to work and have people booing them. Well, you don't even necessarily have to boo them, but show your support on the other side of it. Yeah. Get excited. Mm-hmm.
Past that place. Right. Yeah. Let's see. Got a few things for you. Still, you know what? I forgot to tell you guys. We still might be talking to Herman Cain. Even though he's dropped out. Yeah, we still might be talking to Herman Cain. You guys hear about the guy that survived on frozen beer? No. Sounds good to me. This guy was stranded in the snow for three days and he survived on frozen beer. Minus. 17 degrees. Oh my gosh. Yeah. He's 52 years old. He was in his Toyota Tacoma. He was 40 miles outside Nome, Alaska. Plunged into a snowdrift. And the guy had some beer on him. Weird. He plunged into a snowbank. He had three cans of frozen Coors Light. Oh my gosh.
Hey, you know what he did? Hey, baby. Hey, baby. Why are you blaring that horn? It's so loud. It's so loud. My goodness. I stuck the horn up to the bullhorn. Hang on, baby. Get your point across. That's better. Now it's too quiet. Now it's too quiet, baby. That's darn near perfect. That's like the Goldilocks of horns. That's right. Hey, baby. Hey, baby. I know it's minus 17, but put on that bikini. Man, are you serious? You know how horny it makes me, baby. Fine. My elbows are all chapped. And they're dirty. I know. My knees, too. That's the way I like it, though, honey. You know what I love about you? What's that, baby? Dirt under your fingernail. You like that? This is a hard-working woman. That's right.
I don't even bother to scrub them. I don't want to scrub them dry. I want to keep the essential oils. Where the hell's your Daisy Dukes? You want the bikini or you want them Daisy Dukes? Make up your mind. Give me a beer. What was that? That was me opening up a beer, baby, because I don't have no beer sound effect. Great. It's identical. Identical. What the hell? The Confederate flag bikini. That's what I want. I got that on. We ain't got no spoons. We don't need no spoons, baby. We ain't never gonna use no spoons. Here, I'm gonna use this pen. What, are we supposed to be royalty? I'm gonna use this pen as a fork. How's that different from me the other day? That's true. The beans usually fall off the pen, though. It's too slippery. Hey, baby. Yeah, baby. I'm gonna fart for heat.
Oh, good idea. Oh, my God. Sometimes you got to do that. That's good. Let it out. Let it out. I just hide it in my T-shirt. I'm on Duchess. I can't kill you. This is just to keep us alive, baby. I understand. What? It smells like beer. It's not bad. It's like beer. That ain't bad, baby. That sounds like a song. That's a symphony in my ear. That's a symphony. Ah, that's good. Uh-oh. Oh, no, baby. Warm. Here, let me put my hands up. Put my hands up. Now go ahead. Ah, thank you. Very nice. Oh, man, we should roast some marshmallows. On your butt? Not on my butt, baby. What are we going to use, a tailpipe?
Well, if I can get the car started, maybe we do. Let's jump her up. Hey, baby, let's make love. Yeah, that's a good idea. Oh, and now it's toasty in here. It's almost too hot. Man, I hope we don't get found. Me too. We just make love drinking beer. Just make love drinking, eating beer. Keeping toasty. Farting. That was me that time. That's all right. Hey, baby. Yeah, baby? You think this is what FM 94.9 had in mind when they hired Mikey? I reckon so. Gonna bring that knuckle dragon humor over from Rock 105? Is that lowbrow? Lowbrow bunch of stuff. Dixie horn, too. Dixie horn playing some of the bitches. Fart sound making. Fart sound effects. Southern accent doing. I bet them telekinesis fans are pissed off right now. I reckon.
I'm sorry. What's that sound? The new muffering sound? Hang on, baby. What's that? That's the new one from telekinesis. Telekinesis to me. It's a rarity. The deep track. Three days. I didn't know you could survive on beer. I thought that that would make you dehydrated. Make you more dehydrated. Well, it's Coors Light, so it's like water. Yeah. Tasty, though, but water-ish. How about just melt some snow? Yeah, how about that? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I should save it, but I saw another I Shouldn't Be Alive about a dude that was out in Alaska and driving a...
Snowmobile? No, not a snowmobile. A ATV? Yep. A four-wheeler? Four-wheeler. Yeah. And went out, caught some beavers. He was beaver. He worked for the state of Alaska. Oh, boy, Jay. He's losing his mind. I know. He's losing his mind. Beaver. He's losing his mind. Nice beaver. You just blew a casket. Nice. Wow, he's hiccuping. Look at that face. The biggest smile. He's like a kid at Christmas. You can't say the word beaver. You can't. If the guy was a professional beaver hunter. For the state of Alaska. You can't say it. It's better than walking into a bank. He set him up for that one. Yeah, come on. You should have said animal trap. Rodent. So this dude, he works for the state of Alaska. He goes out into areas that even really, really seasoned, you know, outdoorsmen don't go. Fever hunters. Well, when he was a kid.
He had polio, and his leg, his right leg, is basically useless. Oh. But, and so it's about the size of, you know, you could put your whole arm around it, or your hand around it, around his leg. Oh. You know, because it had atrophied, and it was just, you know, bone, basically. But the other one worked fine. Dude goes out. He's beaver hunting. Puts him on the ATV. And he's coming back to, you know, he's going back home. And a piece of grass flies into his eye. He was wearing glasses. And for like half a second, he reaches up to take the piece of grass out of his eyeball. And when he does, hits a, you know, bump.
on the four-wheeler ATV, and that was enough to send him over a cliff. Oh my gosh. So he rolls down, and he's rolling down, and he's rolling down, and it's, you know, it's an incline. He comes to rest way before the ATV does. And he comes to rest. Bam! Hits his stomach. So imagine being body slammed down. Take the wind right out of you. And the wind comes out of you. And you're on an incline. And you got a gimp leg. Yes. And you got a gimp leg. And he looks up and he sees this thing coming down. And he's right about to move. And it hits him. And it pins him. Now, the way that it pins him is it pins him with his legs in a crisscross. So he's underneath the weight of it. And it's like. With all of the supplies, and this guy was over, he overdid it when it came to survival. He's a survivalist. He overdid it. And he's also got four beaver carcasses on this thing. So we're talking about close to 1,000 pounds. Oh, my God. So the pain is excruciating on his leg, you know, bearing down on his leg. I'll tell you what happens in a second.
If you like Jimmy, and if you like Willie, you're going to love Lucas Nelson and Promise of the Real, appearing live on behalf of Jobs for Autism, Saturday, December 10th, 8.30 p.m. at the North Park Theater. 2891 University Avenue. See this next legend of rock and roll? You'll be blown away. Tickets available online at jobsforautism.com. Be there. My robotic assistant Al and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Scion's claim certified by AMCI Testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. State is a drag and a trial. When I bought my cheap insurance, should have known this day would come. Now I've had an accident and I'm feeling quite alone.
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Traffic brought to you by Navy Federal Credit Union. There's never been a better time to join Navy Federal Credit Union. Visit any of their 20 branches in the San Diego area or at any of their 45,000 free ATMs worldwide. Join today. 15 southbound at Mercy Road, a three-car wreck in the fast lane. 805 northbound after Governor Drive, right lane block there. And 15 southbound after University Avenue, also a crash clearing from the fast lane. San Diego International Airport. wishes you a safe and happy holiday season and urges you to arrive one and a half hours before your flight. Get your holidays started right at sand.org. I'm Judy Gale on FM 94.9. Well, Lauren. Pretty much every morning I think that somebody's going to jump out and kill me when I get into my car. And Jay. You know you're in trouble if you can't outrun your grandma. Yeah. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. So, dude, he's pinned underneath a, what do you call it? ATV. ATV. And he is able to somehow unwedge an axe that he has on the ATV.
And he's trying with all of his money. You've got to imagine you're laying on your belly. You've got an ATV on an incline on your legs. You can't move. So how do you get out of that? He's on his freaking stomach. He's on his stomach. So how do you get out of that? And he's got a gimp leg. Yeah. One of them is done. Toast anyway. And so he's able to unwedge this axe. And he takes the handle of the axe. and wedges it and it's excruciating pain but he starts to push it up and every time he does he's lifting that atv but it's the worst pain imaginable because when he does all the weight is bearing down on the leg that's already smashed and so imagine like what's happening in your head you're like i have to do this
But every time I do, it hurts like crazy. Well, he gets one of those adrenaline rushes. And he pushes as hard as he can. And it starts to move and snap. The freaking axe breaks. I thought his leg broke. The axe breaks. But he's pretty resourceful. And so he takes the axe. And he's got to get warm. He knows he's got to get warm. He's already wearing, you know, pretty heavy stuff, but it's Alaska and nighttime's coming on. He's laying in the snow. Yeah, he's laying in the snow. Oh, and by the way, there's wolves and he's got dead beaver carcasses. Nice beaver. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. And so it gets to be nighttime. And the one thing that he knows is, is that if he falls asleep, he'll die.
If he falls asleep, he'll die because his body will go into hypothermia and he will die in his sleep. And he apparently he said that he had seen three because he was like an EMT and a survivalist. He had helped to rescue people that had the same thing happened to them. Well, four people had been in the same sort of situation as him overnight, you know, outside in the elements. Three of them died. One of them lived. But he knew his best chances were to shiver. Because if you shiver, your body creates some warmth. Well, what happens before you die is your body actually gets warm. And he could start feeling that. So he was shaking his own body just to make himself shake to move. He did that for a while. It wasn't working. So he decided, only thing I can do.
Is take one of these beaver carcasses. He's got a knife. Cut it open. Take the skin from it. And shove it underneath his own body. Because his body heat was being lost into the ground. Oh my god. And it worked. It worked. It actually warmed him up a little bit. And he wasn't losing. I mean this dude was smart. Savvy. Savvy. The worst part about it is, is that about two feet from him is warm coffee. Oh, no way. Food. Oh, my gosh. Everything he needs to get him out of the situation. And literally, he said he had supplies to last for 40 days. Oh, my God. He just can't reach it. He can't reach it. Oh, my God. Oh, that's horrible. And he can't fall asleep. So he's making himself stay awake. So in the middle of the night, the freaking wolves come. Smell the beaver. Because they smell the beaver meat. And the blood. He's lathered in beaver. Yes. Yeah. Been there. So he, just please, you know, I'm just going to ask. Just saying. I was a hunter.
So he takes the broken axe handle, and he just starts banging it on the ground, and it scares the wolves away. Smart. Scares the wolves away. Now, this is one of the worst parts. He can see a house. Oh, my gosh. A half mile from where he is. He can see a house, and the dogs are going crazy barking. These are one of the moments that either make you a believer or an atheist. Yeah, fair enough. Yes. So, because he's so prepared, around his neck, he has a whistle. And he is blowing on this whistle as, I mean, like, he's giving it everything he can to make this whistle as loud as it could possibly be. And he hears, he hears somebody open the door and yell at the dogs. Oh, my goodness. But they can't hear him because the wind is blowing so hard. Beaver. So day one goes by, dude. He spends the night out there. It's the next day, and he's dying of thirst. He needs something to drink. I wouldn't have thought of this in a million years. He had some, like, it's like tape.
But it's not tape. It's yellow and you would like put it out to. Like caution tape. Like caution tape. Yeah, caution tape. Exactly. It was like caution tape. So he had that. He tied a rock around it and he threw it. And it was so cold that it got frost on it. And he slid it across his tongue. Oh my gosh. This guy is brilliant. And he was drinking. And he was keeping himself alive. But he had to stay awake. So all this time he's awake and this thing is bearing down on crushing his legs this whole time. And so night number two comes around. So he's out there all day blowing that freaking whistle and the people don't know he's there. He's blowing the whistle, blowing the whistle. Night two, the wolves come back. And this time they're getting closer and he's banging on the, you know, with the handle, but they don't care this time. He probably smells pretty rank at this point. Yeah. And so they grab the carcass and they take the carcass and he's like, good, take it. But the problem is, is that he's covered in it. Oh. And so eventually these wolves are going to get even braver. Oh, yeah. And so. Get a little taste, come back for more. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So he's waiting it out. He's waiting it out. Day number, what is this, two?
Two? Day number two? Three. No, day number three. Two nights. Day number three. Day number three. He's not fallen asleep. Wow. He's kept himself awake because he knows I'm dead if I fall asleep. I'm dead. So he's staying awake, keeps hearing the people walk out on the porch. Oh, my God. Keeps hearing the dogs. He's flipping out. Forget it. And. I would have just gone to sleep. Yeah. He said on the third night, the freaking. Wolves come back, only this time they come back in a pack. Of course they do. Of course, yeah. And he hears them behind him. So now he's banging on the ATV, he's banging the ground, he's banging everything he can, and they're getting closer, and he can hear them. And finally they get close, but he's got that club, and he scares one of them, thank God, and it runs away. Oh my God.
They end up running away. Finally, on the fourth day, he can't. He's like trying to stay awake. And he had to start eating some of the beaver because he was dying. You know, he was starving. So he had to start cutting into it. And he said it actually wasn't that bad because it was frozen. Like jerky. Yeah. So, I mean, it's frozen. So he would cut it, put it in his mouth. Just swallow it real quick? Yeah. He did that, but because it was dead and because he had caught it in the water and it was kind of fetid, he just threw up. Now he's laying in his own throat. He's laying in vomit. Beaver skin and throw up. Just go to sleep. Just go to sleep. Yeah, night-night. So at that point, he started to drift off. Enter Sandman. Yeah, Enter Sandman. Real good. Enter Sandman real good. Real good.
The guy that found him was, he said that he took approximately four, he changed his mind on his path about four times. He was walking his dog and he was like, I think I'm going to go this way. I don't usually, but I think I'm going to go this way. And then he went, I don't usually do this. I think I'm going to go this way. And he kept changing his course, which he doesn't usually do, and sees him. thought he was dead, and came up to him, and that's how the guy got, you know, rescued. This guy, you know, walks up to him. That's how he ends up getting rescued. But survived out there, really the only reason he survived, and he stayed awake for four days. He finally started falling asleep on that fourth day. That's insanity. Did he lose his leg? Insanity. Yeah, lost it. Both of them? Yeah, they had to put a, they had to give him a prosthetic. Just one?
And they show the guy. He's walking. He walks with the bad leg and the prosthetic leg. The bad leg was saved? The bad leg survived. Of course it did. Come on with that. Yeah, the bad leg survived. Is he still hunting beavers? He's still out there hunting beavers. To this day. Yeah. To this day. I shouldn't be alive. It's one of the greatest shows on TV. It really is one of the greatest shows on TV. You get the short end of that leg. Yeah. Leg up on his competition. That's right. You know who doesn't? Beaver hunter. I don't got people that don't hunt beaver. Somebody's got to do it. Somebody's got to do it. Some people really dig that. You know what? How about the couch? When I was young, I loved to hunt it. I hadn't made enough references. I thought maybe one more. Send you over the edge. It's trapping season. You know what that also means? Maggie. No, don't, Jay. Please don't. No, Jay. I told you I was going to.
70s beaver. That story reminds me of a SNL clip that they showed about Castaway. And they, remember in the movie Castaway, he saves one package. And it's got that fancy design on it. He never opened it. Angel wings. Yeah, the one with the angel wings on it. He never opened that package. He opened all the other packages. In Castaway, when he's on the island. Yeah, and all the FedEx boxes wash up. He didn't open one package. Remember, because at the end, he takes it back to the address and he meets that hot. girl and it's got that she was a welder. Because it had this beautiful drawing of these like angels wings on it. So he just kept it. Well, in the SNL skit, he opened it. There's a cell phone. There's food. There's like a snorkel. There's like a water purification. That poor guy's laying under that snowmobile with freaking a thermos of coffee next to him and a steak. That is the worst. Let me tell you. I would be the biggest pee survivalist. 15 minutes. I'd survive. 15 minutes. Yeah. Our survival story would last 15 minutes. I quit. I give up. I'm done. I'm done. I'm going to sleep. It'd be at the mall because they ran out of hamburgers. Right. Exactly. Sipping water from the fountain. Yeah. There is no doubt in my mind. Jay could survive. Yeah. No. For a long time. Long time. Let's test it.
Send him out there. Go hunt some beaver. You're so sweet. Go hunt some beaver. All right, good. That's what they used to call me, the beaver. Beaver hunter. Beaver trapper. I didn't just hunt it, Mike. I caught it. God, I caught it. Mutilated it. Skinned it real good. I'd like to catch and release. Because that's a term people use for beavers. You like to catch and release. I can't control my horny. Let him go. Yeah. Gosh darn, that guy is one horny person. Put the tag on him. Leave him. Catch tuna, too. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's all in your bait. I prefer a long, skinny worm. Get it. You just ask words. Long, skinny worm. Or I'll put a giant sausage on the end of a hook. Yep. Mine's a giant. No, no, I'll put a giant sausage. No, you won't.
Yes, this is Jay and I believe I have a giant. I'll put my dong on a hook. I'll put my dong on a hook. But Jay. I'll hang my wiener in the water. Talking about my own wiener. My literal wiener. Say it's above average. Wood saw it. He said it's below average and it's weird looking. This is definitely weird. We should get Adam, because Adam watched. Now, I forgot that Adam was seeing it. Adam was in our foursome that day. Your boyfriend, Adam? Adam, our promotions director, was in our foursome that day. We should ask Adam. We should ask Adam about the size of my wiener. He doesn't know about the size, because he never stares at it like Woods does. But he noticed Woods staring at it that day, and he was just like, what is Woods doing? I've never seen it. It's like Haley's Comet. He's never seen anything like it. He admits to staring at it. I fully admit to staring. I've never seen a man grab one each side of his wiener and stretch it away from his pants. I've never seen that. In 36 years, I've never seen that. I was standing next to the cart up against it where no one could see me, and he walked purposely around the cart. Not purposely. I was on the phone.
Screaming on the golf course. And he walks around. He's talking loudly, and you're peeing. I think you're in the wrong. You pee on the course all the time. You pee in the woods. No, you don't. Yes, you do. No, you don't. Yes, you do. I peed with a lot of people on the course. You don't pee on fairways. When it's short grass, you don't pee there. Because balls, other balls, will fly into that area. And what does that mean? What if a guy's ball lands in your urine? You're peeing. Oh, what if it lands in the rough, then? It can happen there as well. No, in the woods. Nobody's peeing in the woods. Nobody's going out of their way. What? Woods. Why would anybody go into the woods when they can pee on the fairway? If you're a golfer and you've played golf more than five times in your life, call in and you tell us where the appropriate place to urinate on a golf course is besides the restroom. Thank you. Finally. Thank you. He's insane. You're insane. He's going to be well into his 90s and still enjoying a healthy love life. Oh, yeah. What age is it just should you stop making love? 45. Oh, shut your pie hole. You're a monster. You are a monster. I wanted to say that just to get Jay because he's over 45. Yes. I will never stop. When? When do you think? Whenever you want. But don't. Come on. Hey, as long as I don't have to see it, I'm not grossed out by it. I hope I'm well. I hope the day I die, I'm still making love. Really? Yeah. I hope that's the way I go out.
I think that there should be a time where we just, you know... 70? 65, 70? We hang it up. Is that about the age you're at right now? No. It's not the age that I'm at now. I still enjoy a healthy love life. 65, 70. You gotta hang it up. No way! You're 70 years old and it's... It's time. Stop it. 70-year-old men are some of the horniest men I've ever met. Yes. Maybe play bingo. I will. Leave them alone. Why do you care? Maybe drink whiskey on your front porch. Yeah. Why are you guys... Maybe whittle. Why do you guys make love, please? Yeah. I'll tell you why. Because if you're making love, you're making love to somebody. Yeah. And you know what? Who's also 70. She shouldn't be doing it either. Oh, please. Prude. You guys are prude. Prude. Prudes. No, just the elderly making love just does not. But at that point, you'll be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Now, listen, if I was a 70-year-old single man and I was making love to, like, a 30-year-old woman, that'd be different. You're not going to love your wife just as much as you do? Of course I'll love my wife, but we're both 70, and she's going to be disgusted, too, the 30-year-old. No, she's going to love everything about you. Hey, we're getting a lot of calls, Jay. Imagine me at 70. I'll be hideous. We're getting a lot of calls, Jay.
Okay. M1 Dino from San Diego. Hey, what's up? What's going on? Hey, not much, man. Hey, Jay. Yes, sir. It's not cool to piss. Oh, you can't say that. We're going to take advice from you. Just say pee. Darn it. Now we can't take him our phone calls for a while. See? He says it's not cool to pee in the fairway. Oh, it's not. But he has no clue. He didn't sound like a golfer to me. What's a golfer? Yeah. I'm sure if we were talking to Tiger Woods. Yeah, Tiger Woods all the time. Look where that guy. You can't take advice from him. Hey, try to keep in mind that my delay is not ready yet. Is a golfer almost like a beaver, like it has big teeth? A golfer? It goes underneath. That's a gopher. Oh. Different. They're very similar, but they are different. A gopher tears up the golf course, right? Correct. True fact. True fact. 570-1949. Good, LB. L-O-B and J in bikinis. Nah. Oh, yeah. Friday, 7.30, Friars and Frazino. The Mikey Show. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text them. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. This is Jack, founder of Jack in the Box. Let's take a call. Jack.
I'm kind of seeing this guy, but he only calls me at like 2 a.m. and says, hey, come over, let's do something. Does he like seasoned curly fries? Yeah. That's a foodie call. Huh? A foodie call. You know, it's really late, you're craving something, so you and your friends hit up my drive-thru for tacos or real ice cream shakes. Ah, that's a relief. I thought it was like his booty call. His what? Booty call. Who needs boots at 2 a.m.? My robotic assistant Al and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Size claim certified by AMCI Testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. Gonna go to Postal Index. I'm going to wrap my holidays up. Color printing, brochures, flyers, documents copied, documents found. I take a passport photo, fax a message, check my mail, notarize it, laminate it, find it, mail it, dun, dun, dun. Why drive all over town this holiday season or get locked into one choice for shipping? Wrap it up with one stop at your neighborhood Postal Antics.
Save gas. Save time. Save money. Mail the cards. Pack the presents. Ship the gifts. I'm all done. Postal Annex. The sound of business. Compare FedEx, UPS, and postal rates for your best option. What's your definition of success? Cruising in your new car every morning. Wow, I'm at work already. Coffee time. Walking in the door of your newly remodeled home every evening. I'm glad to see you too, Rocky. Yes. Oh, and you too, Mike. Saving time and reducing stress every day. Check my balance online. Stop by the ATM. Now there's free time for me. Unbelievable. Come to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union. With great rates on home loans and car loans. 28,000 fee-free ATMs nationwide. And exceptional customer service. It's banking for the common sense crowd.
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Just $2.99 a month for 39 months with $32.98 initial payment due at signing. Tax, title, license, and options extra. For lease details, call 800-545-8849 or visit infinityusa.com. Offer ends January 3rd. See retailer for details. I've never been so happy. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. It bothers me that I don't know how to be. Woods. That's why I don't eat that. funk cheese that you eat. I eat Kraft American singles. Lauren. My obsession with black men came from Bill Cosby. Did it? Yeah. And Jay. Man, if I could just be a home dad. On FM 94.9. Nice beaver. I just didn't care back then. I just didn't care. 19-year-old phone screener Nicole. Have you ever heard this song before? Never. She just shook her head. There's no way. This song probably came out 15 years before she was born. She was born in 92? Yes. That's such honey, though. How many Jordache jeans were worn dancing to this song? You know how many Jordache jeans were taken off and folded over a chair? Yeah. While lovemaking went on to this song? Right. 1977. Wow. Anties. Oh, yeah. Where did Lauren go?
There she is. Did you say I had to crap? No, I said I was trapped. Oh, you were trapped. There's food out there. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, good one, guys. I didn't do that. I didn't. Why am I getting in trouble? I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to a jam. I didn't say anything. You said, did you say you had to crap? I thought that's what you said. I'm sure that's what you thought. Can you just tell him my name's Lauren? Oh, no. Hey. Funny. Hey, me and you, we are like this. Simpatico. Whoa, easy. We're comadres and compadres. I didn't know there was barbecue coming. Yeah, neither did I. I'm so excited. It looks great. Smells good. I didn't know. This is Mike's Barbecue in Escondido. Grand opening today. We've had it once before, and it's freaking tasty. That's rad. I can't wait. I'm going to feast on it. And I'm going to eat barbecue. Love it. Beautiful day. Oh, it's gorgeous out there. I'm just going to sit on the couch and look out the window, Mike. Hey, I had your back. It lasts for about five seconds. You always agree to things before you listen. I know.
Yep. L.O.B.'s like, you just stab yourself in the face, Mike? I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew I could get you because your back was turned. I was looking out the window. This is why I want to get a convertible. I'm trying to sell my car. It's freezing out. In the winter? It's fine. You turn on the heater. There's trees that are crying. Oh, gosh. Baby seals just started crying. Start clubbing them, Mike. Oh, man. Just got to feel guilty for everything. Put the heat on in a convertible. It's ridiculous. Well, in the wintertime, you know. Not in the summer. That would be like starting a fireplace and then keeping the AC on. I've done that. I did that. Yeah, I was directing that at Mike. I did that. You know what I need? And I'm going to get one. And my wife can do nothing about it. See, this is what guys will do. We'll save up.
We'll save up guy chips, and then we'll cash them in. Okay, here's what guy chips are. You know the term, well, you lose the battle to win the war? Absolutely. All you men out there have done this. Yes. So a lot of times, Rebecca will, if I wanted to, I could make a big deal out of it. But I let her have it. I go, okay, all right, honey. All right. Do your thing. Even though everything inside of me wants to fight it. Yeah. I'm cashing in and I'm getting a recliner. Nice. Been there. Oh, yeah. The best. It's a rite of passage. You're a dad. Yes. And that's what I was thinking. Yeah. Because I can't get one. Jerome's. I went to Jerome's when I got my first apartment. I went to Jerome's and did my first apartment, all Ikea and Jerome's. The one in Mira Mesa.
It's got everything. Oh, yeah. Everything. And they let you go in there and, like, test stuff out. Mm-hmm. I've almost fallen asleep in Jerome's. True story. Dream come true. Oh, dude. Comfy. I can give you some advice on a recliner. Go leather. Yeah. Go wider than you think you want because people are always going to want to sit in the chair with you, especially since you have kids. I like it. Yeah. I like it. That's a good plan. And I like square arms on top, not the rally ones, because you can set your remote, you can set your plate, you can put your burrito up there. You can put chimichanga, rest it up there. Tamales. It's killer. And the wide thing makes sense. I'm going there. Do you think that Rebecca would be irritated at me if I said Jerome's is coming by today?
Well, yes. But I'll position it like this. I'll go, listen, between two and four, it's a window. Your house looks like the freaking Z Gallery showroom. So, yeah, you're a dead man. You better have this thing color coordinated. Oh, it will be. She better have input. Oh, it will be. You've got nice stuff. It will be. Your house is nice inside. You know what? It's all her. All her. They got nice stuff. Yeah, yeah. And great. But you know what a woman sees? It could be made out of solid gold and diamonds. And she goes, it's a freaking recliner. You're not Archie Bunker. They look so good now that your wife will love it. They look so good now your wife is going to love it. I promise you that she won't. It's not like the old school days. I promise you that she won't. I promise you that she won't. I promise you she will. My wife was all in. She was excited when I got it. She's like, went with me to help me pick it out. She said, well, get it as long as, and I got mine there. I think LLB's right, too. It's a rite of passage for dad. It is. It's a rite of passage. Every dad has to have a, I'm getting to be an old man. I guess I'll just wait. It's funny because your friends come over, when they come to your house, they want to sit in that chair. My friend's all sitting in that chair and I'm like, hey, that's my chair. Every man needs his own chair. Of course. Yeah. And M1 is a Mikey show listener. When you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, don't cuss.
M1 Donna is on the line from San Diego. Hi, Donna. Hi. What's going on? Mikey, you have to get a convertible. I drive in the winter with the top down and the heat blaring, and in the summer, I drive with the top down and the AC blaring. Love it. Love it. What's the point? In California, you have to have a convertible. I'm on your face. Mm-hmm. It brings back your youth. You're all outside. That's what the point is. I'm afraid of doing things, though, that I've never done. I've never sold a car before. I've always traded it. I've never sold one. So I'm hearing go auto trader, go blah, blah, blah. If you want to sell it. Go dealership because sometimes you get problems. No, it's because you do that. And a lot of times you'll get, you know, trade in isn't as good as if you do it, you know. Yep. You sell your car outright. I had problems with the roof, how to take it in, have the roof read completely done. So you need that warranty. All right. Have a mechanic check it out. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. We got a good one Jay and I do. Jay, turn me on to this guy. He's legit. You got a good mechanic? Oh, dude. He's the best. He's legit. Every car I buy, I take it over and have him look at it and run it through. He gives it like a 99-point checkover. Bro, he's the greatest. He's the greatest mechanic. M1 Tim was hanging out with us on Friday. Thinks I can get $40,000 for my M5. I said, there is no way. It's got 86,000 miles on it. Holy mackerel. Wow, those cars are expensive. I know it.
It's got 86,000 miles on it. It looks brand new, though. You took really good care of it. I know. Baby that thing. I'll give you 100 a month for it. Okay? Just put me on a plan. Let's upgrade the kid. Let's get him rolling a little bit harder than he's rolling in that crap Suburban. I'm downgrading. I know you are. I'm downgrading because I want to be able to put the top down. You know? I really enjoy it. My Mexican head shining in the sunlight. You're going to get through a lot of sunscreen. Yeah, make sure you wear sunscreen. Maybe a visor. Those look cool. If you're Steve Spurrier or Bob Stoops. Maybe give me a break. Half of one. You're going to look badass in a visor. We'll get you a real good one. The visor won't do anything. The top of his head will be exposed. Maybe one that says Titleist. You're a jerk. You're going to need like a straw hat. Some burrow. Yeah, there you go. So LLB sent me this story. There are astronomers yesterday. Found a planet that's like Earth. 72 degrees. Average. How do they know? How do they know? How do they know? They know a lot. How do they know? They do know a lot because they're astronomers, but how did they look up there through a telescope, see something they've never seen, and go, it's 72 degrees. And it's just like Earth. They can tell by, you know, the atmosphere of where it's been found. They can probably tell by the surface. Can they?
It's crazy. I'm going. I'm going. I read that article. When are you going to go? The tracking was insane. If a Republican gets elected. Oh, wow. The planet Kepler. That's what they're calling it. Kepler? Kepler 22B. Perfect. Well, we'll look forward to that. 2.4 times wider than Earth. Mikey. I can predict you. It's how predictable your fat jokes are. We should just start doing all his own jokes for him. Don't take that away from me. It's 600 light years away. I don't know what that means. It means that if you flew at the speed of light, it would take 600 years to get there. Convenient. But we can tell the temperature there. Yeah, yeah. That's right. It's BS. There's a condo development underway. Yeah. There's already a Starbucks there, I bet. That's stupid. There's a Starbucks in the Starbucks. I've got stock in the planet. Yeah. What's it called? Kevlar? Kevlar 22B. Kevlar 22B. Kevlar 22B. You're like, oh, I remember Kevlar and 22B. Yeah. She's a who. So there it is. I got an email for you. Hey, Mikey. Got a dad question for you. Got two kids, six-year-old girl, 10-year-old boy.
My wife and I agreed that it's time to start giving our son some chores. Just a few small things like taking the trash out and picking up his bedroom. My wife wants to start giving him an allowance as a reward of $20 a week. I find that ridiculous. I was honestly thinking no allowance because my kid needs basic responsibilities and $20 for a 10-year-old boggles my mind. Think about it. $1,000 a year? I still say he doesn't need any. But at most, I'm willing to give him $5 a week. My wife says I'm cheap. Am I the crazy one here? Thanks. M1 six string. I don't know. Why don't you call? 570-1949. I want to know what M1 Nation thinks about that. Is that too much? Too cheap? What? Pop it in. Be a part of the Mikey Show now.
Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. This is The Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. Hey, gang, it's your old pal Woodsy, and we never miss the chance to give each other a hard time about something. So since it is football season, somebody's going to get raked over the coals every day for their football knowledge or lack thereof. You can join in the fun with the FM 94.9 Pigskin Pick'em. Show off your skills at FM949SD.com. Pick against Mikey, Hillary, Jeremy, me, and the rest of the jocks. You could win a $50 gift certificate to Expressly Gourmet. Get signed up and see more at FM949SD.com. The Ford year-end celebration is on now at your San Diego County Ford dealers. You'll find huge rebates, low financing, and incredible lease payments on F-Series trucks. America's best-selling line of pickups, 34 straight years. Right now, you can lease a new 2011 F-150 SuperCrew for just $159 a month for 27 months with 3538 due at signing. Just $159 a month for the highest-ranked large pickup in initial quality by J.D. Power & Associates. Don't miss the year-end celebration. On now at your San Diego County Ford dealer. Ford, built for San Diego.
For J.D. Power & Associates information, visit JDPower.com. Not all buyers will qualify for low-mileage Ford credit red carpet lease, security deposit waive, tax, title, and license fees extra. Payments may vary. Cash due at signing is after 1,700 bonus cash, plus 1,000 trade-in assistance cash. Available on 1996 or newer vehicle trade-in or lease terminated from 12-1-11 to 1-2-12. Lessee responsible for access, wear, and mileage over 23,625 miles at 20 cents per mile. Take new retail delivery from dealer stock by 1-2-12. See dealer for qualifications and details. I'm thirsty. How thirsty? Really thirsty. When's the last time you looked in the fridge? I don't know. When was the last time Mom went shopping? Uh, like today. You should really check it out. And grab yourself a bottle of Arrowhead brand 100% Mountain Spring water while you're in there. Why is it snoring in our refrigerator? That was Grinchmas, and that's why we're drinking Arrowhead water. Why? Because every specially marked bottle of Arrowhead water lets you save $15 on general admission to Universal Studios Hollywood, where the whole family can play in real snow, see the celebrity tree lighting, and meet the Grinch and his dog, Max, too. Then I'm putting Arrowhead on my Grinchmas list. Save $15 on general admission to Universal Studios Hollywood when you bring a specially marked Arrowhead label to the front gate ticket booth.
Offer ends 4-30-12. Restrictions apply. Visit UniversalStudiosHollywood.com slash Arrowhead for full terms and conditions. Hey, this is LOB, and it's December, and that means what, Woodsy? It's time to get your holiday shopping done now. You've got to give the gift of great hair like ours. Oh, yeah. I've got. if I do say so myself, fabulous hair. Yeah, I've been using the Men's Max Pack, and I started using Ovation because I saw how amazing my wife Jamie's hair looked. It looked incredible. Well, not to mention my hair, which I come in here every morning just flaunting it about. Yes. Smells delicious. Smells amazing. And L.O.B., it's longer than it's ever been. It is actually longer than it's ever been. Right now is the best time for you to try Ovation because not only is it a really good price that they have going on for their holiday gift set, But if you enter FM 949 at checkout, you're going to get a special introductory discount. We got a message that they are almost out of this holiday gift pack. They're almost sold out. You need to get in there now. So go to OvationHair.com and enter FM 949 at checkout. You're going to get that special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and enter FM 949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. This fall, Warren Miller's Like There's No Tomorrow will bring you on a global tour of the perfect winter.
Adjust your gear, take a deep breath, and shred, launch, spin, charge like there's no tomorrow. Join Warren Miller cinematographer Tom Day as he shoots his first 800-inch California winter and captures incredible powder turns laid down in Squaw Valley by Johnny Mosley, J.T. Holmes, Michelle Parker, and more. India, Chile, New Zealand, Norway, it's all here. So get out there and buy tickets like there's no tomorrow because tickets are on sale now. Check WarrenMiller.com for details. FM 94.9 welcomes Warren Miller's like there's no tomorrow to Encinitas this week. Check it out at the La Paloma Theater on December 10th. Ticket holders get buy one, get one free lift ticket offers to Heavenly and Mountain High and $25 off at Sports Chalet. Get your tickets at Ticketfly.com, select Sports Chalet stores and at theater box offices. Check WarrenMiller.com for more information. There's nothing like knowing someone's got your back, especially if that someone is Navy Federal Credit Union. Serving the military and their families at over 200 branches worldwide with 24-7 accessibility by phone and online. It's superior service and convenience. We're not a bank and more than just a credit union. See why it's better to belong at Navy Federal than to bank anywhere else. If you or your family are in the military or DOD, join today at NavyFederal.org. Federally insured by NCUA. My robotic assistant Al and I have tested out the new Scion IQ.
Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Size claim certified by AMCI Testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. Tell me, what did the world look like to you when you first opened your eyes? The reason I've never been comfortable around kids, I'm always petrified they're going to go, you're short and fat. You don't skimp on hair products, you don't skimp on haircuts, you don't skimp on DJs, designer jeans, and you don't skimp on your teeth. Lauren. Yep, I admit when I'm wrong. And Jay. They will eat my edamame if I leave it out too long. On FM 94.9. Barbecue, thank you for bringing barbecue in. I didn't even know, what a treat. Yeah.
What a treat. It's so good. They got a grand opening today in Escondido on West Valley Parkway. Charger girls are going to be there tonight, 6 to 7. Okay. Free appetizers from 4.30 to 8. Bam. Ribbon cutting at noon. Oh. And it's going to be pretty cool. Beer special. The whole thing. Mike's BBQ.com. U.S. You don't hear a lot of .us's. Mostly .com's. Oh, it's so good. Against your lips. 20 bucks too much to give a kid. 20 bucks too much to give a kid a week for allowance. A 10-year-old? Yes. No. Yes. 10? Yes. 10 is too much? 10. 10-year-old. Yeah, I got about that when I was a kid. Kid.
$20 a week? What'd you buy with it at 10 years old? Heroin? Yeah. Heroin? No, I would save it, and I would get something that I wanted, or I would get baseball cards. We were really into baseball cards, so we would collect them as a family. My dad, my brother, and I. I think that that is spoiled. Well, I'll tell you what, man. Super spoiled. I'll tell you what. Before we go start pointing fingers here and calling people names. Spoiled. We lived in a house where we had a huge yard that I spent, I don't know, six hours a weekend mowing, doing leaves, doing all that garbage. I had to do it all for free. Yeah, I didn't. My family does it all for free. Weird. Whatever. $20 is too much. Excessive. Say whatever you want. I could care less. Kid was buying baseball cards and gumballs. Still is. You don't believe me, Woods? Ask M1 Bird from LaMesa, right? It's too much, right? Yeah. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Okay, yeah, my pops. He's like, all right, you want some money, kid? Go start knocking on the neighbor's door and mowing yards. That's what I did at 12 years old and making my money. I did too. I was like six. I went door to door with Windex. Did you? Yeah.
I was 15 when I got my first job at Leader's Department Store in the toy department. So, I mean, I like to work. I always have. So I wasn't spoiled. That was the thing, too. My pops was in high school. You want a cell phone? Always had a job. Go work at Vaughn. Absolutely, dude. Always had a job. That's right. You had a job. We're not talking about jobs, though. We're talking about allowance. Yeah. I mean, my parents were like, yeah, the kid needs money. I may have had to get my lunch out of that, but I'm not sure. I may have. That might have been my lunch slash spending money. I hope you did. It's too much. But lunches back then were like two bucks a day, something like that. It was nothing major. I want to see the person that goes, oh, yeah, $20, totally reasonable for a 10-year-old. Each their own. Yeah, I guess. Just talk about the entitlement generation, right? But how is it entitled if they're working for it? Because we're all working. Yeah. Yeah. You're 41 years old. You're also getting a roof over your head and breakfast, three meals, three squares. Oh, you're that dad. Doing chores is part of being a kid. Yeah, we're all working together to survive. Yeah, chores is one thing, but manual labor is something totally different. Manual labor. He said taking out the trash and cleaning his roof. Okay, that ain't enough for 20 bucks a week. Hey, pal, have you ever woken up at...
Five in the morning on a school day and shoveled an entire giant-ass driveway in 15 below. I did. L.O.B. did. Well, you had brothers and sisters. I'm sure everybody pitched in. I did it by myself or my brother did it when I was older. H. You're a clown. B. You're a clown. D. I'm not happy birthday. Happy birthday. It wasn't a gift. I wasn't shoveling when I was 10 because it wouldn't have been a good job for a 10-year-old girl to do. It would have been crappy and no one would have gotten out of the driveway. Yeah, I mean. But when I was a teenager. I mean, didn't we all do chores? Yeah, y'all have chores. We all do chores. I had to. I'd have a list. My mom would leave for the day, for the weekend, and there'd just be a list waiting for me when I woke up. Sure. And it wasn't, you do these and here's your incentive. It was, you do these because you live here. Yeah. It was a toilet bed. I always cleaned the toilets. It was the worst. No way. Yes way. You're kidding. You're a clown. How did you do it? It sounds like Guantanamo. It kind of was. Yeah. Wow. It sounds like manual labor. Manual labor in your case. $1,000 a year is a lot. Yeah. It's a lot. For a 10-year-old? For a 10-year-old? Jake, let me think. Your son is five. Mm-hmm. Five years from now, for his chores.
$10 every two weeks. What's he going to do with it? Don't know. $10 every two weeks. If he's anything like his dad, he'll want an iPhone. He'll want a new weight bench. He'll want a new surfboard. He'll want new golf clubs. He'll want a bow and arrow. He'll want a rifle. He'll want a convertible. He'll want a Kindle. He'll want a Mac. He'll want a MacBook. He'll want a MacBook Air. He'll want an iPod. He'll want an iPhone 4. Mikey's been working for 25 years. Spoiled. Sure. That's spoiled. Whatever. I used to, I would randomly get $5. Or if I cleaned my dad's car, he'd be like, you can keep all the change you find in there. Oh, you didn't get a regular allowance? No. Very random. Very random. If it was like a job well done in addition to like a good report card or something, I'd get $5. I would hold onto that $5 like it was a million dollar bill. I'd be like, look at this. And it would be in my piggy bank for years. How about you, Woods? They just...
Cut your check or... No, just cash. Cash money. My mom used to say money. Why is there such disdain in all of your voices? If I wanted to earn money, my dad... Green with envy or... I had a whole list of chores. Mow the yard. Clean the gutters. Do all this stuff. But if there was something else special my dad needed done, he would pay me to do it. Sure. The special stuff I sometimes get paid for, yeah. Yeah. I... One time I... My mom said if I could find her diamond earring on the bottom of the swimming pool, she would get me a model car. She was trying to drown you. What's drowned? It's the past tense of drown. No, Jay, she wasn't trying to drown. Take these weights and go in the pool and see if you can find it. Wow, that's mean. Now get inside this bag. Killing kids in a pool. This isn't funny.
Casey Anthony. Whoa, whoa. What? Too soon? Too soon. We got new releases out today if you want to do those. Yeah, let's do it. Change the topic. Amy Winehouse. Here's the posthumous album. It's called Lioness Hidden Treasures. Good thing they're not trying to make money off her. Right, treasures for her family. Yeah, good thing they're not trying to exploit her. I thought I had read it was going to go towards her foundation, which was an anti. Yeah. Drug. Yeah, drug. Abuse. I'm sure she'll deal with the record. I got my face. All right. The new Chevelle is out. Hats off to the bull. I like that guy's voice. That's good. The new Gary. Gary Newman. Dead Sun Rising. Are you kidding me? Gary Newman. Very weird album. I kind of like it. Very nine-inch noses. Yeah. That sounds pretty good to me. I know. I've got to hear it. I've got to hear it. Is it coming? We've been taking...
Methamphetamine, apparently. No way this is him. I don't think so. Well, no, I think he has turned an MF in there. It didn't say explicit on any of the stuff that he had there, so I don't think so. I know the feeling, Jay. It happens to me, too. I'm telling you. It happens to me, too. I feel comfortable playing Korn and T-Pain. Yeah, Korn, the path of totality is out there. I ain't playing it. Really? Well, who knows what's on it? Well, play your boy Robin Thicke. He's got a new record out, Love After War. He gets the belt from me. I give him the belt. I don't like this, but I do like that. Lost without you. The new Black Keys is out. El Camino, and it is good.