The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 12/06/10

1:49It's a Mikey show. We got to tell you about some very sad San Diego sports news. And we hit on that. We got so much to do. And very little time. So we'll try to fit everything that we have to fit into four hours. Should really take us about six. But we'll give it our best shot. By the way, just so you know. There are nine days, 23 hours, 56 minutes left until the Mikey-thon. Wow. I cannot wait. I know it. You don't want to miss this. It's going to be big. It's going to be crazy. It's going to be ridiculous. You know, the Mikey-thon is always physically, emotionally, and...

2:54You know mentally draining but it's worth it. Yeah for the cause And it really is it's a very very special time All weekend I was like what is this surprise that he has I know I just kept thinking about it Mike has a surprise for us at five o'clock in the afternoon on Thursday It makes me nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm excited because he says it's humiliating. Yeah. So I'm in. Is he going to do something? Not only is it humiliating, but it's public humiliation. Which is great. Because I have to do it. In order to do it, I have to do it outdoors. Oh, even better. It's funny how much gold will come out of this because we'll each find out stuff about each other that we would have never regularly told each other. Yeah. Absolutely. And we're doing stuff we wouldn't normally do on just any old day. Yeah. We'll be outside a lot. So, yeah, like anyone that comes out can see us. Mm-hmm. It's going to be fun. Mikey-thon next week. I'm going to Haiti this week. And don't even worry because the Mikey show will remain on. We're not going to have a best of the Mikey show. Sienna and Woods and L-O-B and Jay and our phone screener, Kraus. Kraus.

4:06We'll still be on the air, and our program director, Garrett, will be filling in for me and kind of holding the fort down. Are you scared at all, Mike? About Haiti? No, about Garrett. He's more scared of Garrett than he is of Haiti. No. No, I'm not scared about it. He knows what he's up to. I'm having to replace you, Mike. Yeah. Forget about it. Garrett in the morning. He comes in here on Friday. He's got tattoos all over his arm. Cotee. Cotee. He already is bald. He's already bald like me. The word of the day is gingerbread, y'all. All right. Gingerbread. Gingerbread, y'all? Gingerbread, y'all? Not the y'all part. Yeah. He's just throwing that in there for fun. So when you hear me say the word gingerbread between now and 10, caller 9 will win a pair of tickets to see Lincoln Park. At what used to be Cox Arena. It's now Vieja Arena. And we'll also throw in a Mikey Show t-shirt. And that will be between now and 10 o'clock. I'll somehow weave that in. At 7 a.m. this morning, we are going to replay the interview with the Secret Service agents from Friday. If you missed it, it was one of the best interviews that I've ever been a part of.

5:34It was so compelling, so gripping, just an amazing, amazing interview with the Secret Service guy that actually jumped onto the trunk of the car during the Kennedy assassination. And he gives a play by play, minute by minute, exactly how things went down. At times, it's gruesome. At times, it's extraordinarily sad. And through the entire thing, it's some of the most compelling radio. And we really, we have to replay it. We would be foolish to not replay this thing at 7 a.m. So we're going to replay that for you if you missed it. We never replay anything either. No. It's a really big deal that we are. We do not. And so it is. It's a very big deal. I was so stoked to meet those guys. Yep. That felt so big. They did not disappoint. No. That is right. It's an honor. On the line right now, by the way, you can call, anybody can call, 570-1949. On the line is M1 Nubian Prince. Yeah. Hello, dude. Good morning, guys. How are you doing? Very good, dude. How are you? I want to say two things. One, first, you guys are such awesome people, like genuinely just awesome people. Oh, man. That's nice. It's so cool to be able to see you guys do your work.

7:00You know, I was like, oh, this is so intriguing. Yeah, that's cool, man. He was in, Nubian Prince got to come in for a backstage pass on Friday, so he hung out with us. It's a great crowd, Friday. Yeah, great crowd. You can sign up online at themikeshow.com. Correct. For each person there, you guys are always like, I mean, like I said, you guys are cool people. When I was watching, like, just watching you do your work, I don't know if you know how much of like, I was like a... Offensive coordinator you are. Thank you. It is very true. You know, she is in many ways our Phillip Rivers. Yep. And, you know, Woodsy pointed that out one time. She's very good at the audible. Yep. You know, and she needs to be with me because I am a scatterbrain. And I was talking to my wife about that this weekend, about how Sienna has this ability to go. Over here, over here, over here, over here, over here. Because if she doesn't, bye-bye. I'm off in la-la land. See you. 100%. Thank you. And she knows how to get me on track. Thanks, Nubian Prince. Oh, no, girl. I was watching. I was like, dude, people are like, you wouldn't notice me. You'd actually have to be there to see all the things that you actually do. And I was blown away. Aw, thank you. That's nice.

8:22Thank you, Nubian Prince. Plus, she's got a nice rack. Oh, wow. Thanks, Jay. Her boobs are very large. Just had a baby. Thank you. That is not the reason, for goodness sake. Right. I mean, it's true, but it's true. I mean, they're amplified now. They're even bigger, but yes, it is true. Sienna has large breasts. Will you tell everyone in our listening audience the game that you and Todd play? Thank you, Nubian Prince. That we played at dinner on Friday? What game? Are they bigger than mine? Oh, God. It's hard to tell how big my boobs are, you know? Yeah. So when I see other girls with big boobs, I'm like, Babe, are those bigger than mine? And he's like, no, not even close. They play that game. Are those bigger than mine? And then he'll be like, oh, those ones are a little bigger than yours. I need a comparison so that I know. Sienna. What? Like, when does he ever say, oh yeah, those are bigger than yours. There's times. What? There's times. Really? Yeah. Sienna's got the biggest boobs I've ever seen. No question. Just now they are because I had a baby and so they were big before and now they're really big. Yeah. They're very, it's not, I don't like how, you know, I would like to decrease the size. You would do a reduction? Oh, without a doubt.

9:40without... My jaw just dropped open. Like, I have clothes that now I can't wear, so I have to wear a lot of the same stuff. You know, because... It'd be like a guy that's like six feet two, really good looking. He's like, yeah, I want to get shortened, you know. Cut like a couple inches off. Like girls that are listening are probably like, oh, shut up. But no, it really is. It's uncomfortable a lot of times. And it's hard to find clothes that fit. 570. 194.9's number, M1. Rob is on the line from Washington, believe it or not. Hey, Rob, can you tell everybody what an M1 is? Right on. That's right. Can you tell people what, do you know what an M1 is? Has he got his radio turned up? See, this may not be an M1. No. I am an M1. Okay, can you tell people what an M1 is? I forgot what it is.

10:41Okay. It means first and foremost is the very first thing is the thing that you're breaking right now, which is you got to turn your radio down. No worries, dude. It's okay. It's okay. But an M1 is somebody that when they call in, they turn their radio down, they get right to the point. They don't dilly-dally. They don't, you know, talk about other stuff and get sidetracked. In other words, they're the opposite of me. They get right to the point. They don't cuss. And they make new M1s. They're always telling people about new M1s. And, you know, they're forming this thing that we call M1 Nation. It's a whole grassroots movement of people that if you belong to it, you belong to an exclusive club. And we call ourselves M1s and M1 Nation. Why were you calling in, Rob? I'm in the Marine Corps today. I've actually been in for five years. Wow. This is my last day. There you go. Wow. How are you feeling? I think. Are you feeling good, nervous? Nervous, a little anxious, excited, all that great stuff. Here you go. What are you going to do? Go back to school, get a degree, and do what I should have done before I joined the Marine Corps. Oh, wow. There you go. Good for you, man. Good job. Thank you for your service to our country, too. Thank you. I just want to tell everyone in San Diego County, everybody should be an M1. That's awesome. Thank you, Rob. You're already doing your job now. That's right. We appreciate you, and we love you. Thank you. Congrats.

12:06M1 Heidi from Encinitas. Hi, Heidi. What's going on? I am just cracking up that I called you guys and I'm on the radio and I want to say hi to my husband Dave in Encinitas. I know he's listening. He listens every day. Right on. He's like, babe. Babe, you're embarrassing me. Well, what's up, Heidi? For one, I was going to see if you guys know what's going on on the 78. I'm trying to get over to Palm Desert, and the traffic's just stopped on the 78. We'll find out for you momentarily. My poor wife. You're already stuck in traffic? Yeah, 78 is supposed to be. It's 6.15. Yeah, we'll find out for you. What else were you calling about, Heidi? I'm cracking up because I was listening to your gal. Sorry, I don't remember the name. Sienna. Talking about breast reduction. Yeah. Because I had that when I was like 21. I'm now 45. Really? Was it a great decision? Yeah, I'm stoked. I'm a runner, and I was like 16. And then, of course, all of a sudden I had these huge things. How big? Two sports bras you have to do. That's how I am. I have to wear two. Good God. You might as well use duct tape. What size were your breasts? What cup size?

13:25That makes my mouth water. At 5'4 and how many pounds? 100. You were a D cup? You know what I would call you? This is Woods, by the way. I call you the little miracle. That's what I would call you if I saw you. The little miracle. No, it's hard to do. Is it? Yes. And so what size did you go to? Well, I'm like a B now. Really? I would love to go to a big C. I would be great with that. Agreed. My husband was like, nope, nope, nope, not happening. Nope, nope, nope. And are you happy, Heidi, that you're a B cup now? Yeah, pretty much. I've never looked back. I'm thinner than I was when I was a teenager, but I've never looked back once. You don't wish that you had C-cups now? No, not at all. Okay. Well, then there you go. It worked out for you. Yeah. Perfect.

14:39It's good. I mean, the only problem is that I'm getting old, and now I'm kind of... That's my deal. I mean, I need a breast reduction as well, and part of it is because I'm getting older, and the other part of it is because I'm a man. Yep. And a man shouldn't have breasts as large as mine, but you know what? What are you going to do? Think they'll give us a two-for-one deal? Yeah, maybe we should try that. Okay. I suppose I could diet, but that's out of the question. No. Work out. No. Thank you, Heidi. Let's see. M1, Jono. is in the CHP in San Diego and has info on the 78. What is it, M1, Jono? Hey, thanks for the info. There you go. Thank you, bro. Thank you. Okay, so the Chargers really stunk the place up yesterday. Weird. Just absolutely stunk the place up. Yep. I mean, we're manhandled. Yes. They were manhandled. I'm glad I didn't watch. Oh, the Raiders were so physical with them. Dominated them. Yeah, and just pushed them around. Literally. The fact that it was the Raiders just makes it so much worse. Absolutely. They needed that win. Division game, they're 0-2 against the Raiders in the division this year. Ridiculous.

16:02the Oakland Raiders since 2001. Really? And now they've been swept by him. Oh, painful. Rivers did not play well. Too many mistakes. Threw a pick in the first quarter. Sproles dropped that friggin' punt, hit him right in the face. Yeah, and he got a concussion in the game. Yeah, he got his bell rung. He got his bell rung. Did you see that? Yeah, and I said, my wife goes, what do you think it is? I said, concussion. You could see when he fell back, you see his head bounce off the turf. You know, luckily, They're playing on a natural turf. Had that same exact thing happened in a dome, it would have probably been way worse. Well, Oakland ran for 251 yards against a defense that had only given up. Their best game was 81 yards. That's the most they'd given up all year, and they gave up 251. They should tackle guys. Maybe. They should do that. McFadden and Bush were 97, 95 yards respectively. It was just ridiculous. Campbell played okay, made some plays with his feet.

17:02You know, he just couldn't do anything. Couldn't get anything going. No running game whatsoever at all. Stunk. Stunk. From top to bottom, it was terrible. So Nate Kading tried to kick a field goal. It was right down the middle. I mean, it looked like it was going in and fell five yards short of the goal post. Yeah. Phillip Rivers sacked four times. You know, just not a good day. Well, it isn't my fault. You know, as the head coach of the football team, all I can do is prepare the guys to go out there and play, but I don't actually play the game. And when the team loses, it isn't my fault. And I hope that I stay with the organization for years. Wow. I probably will. I probably will. I'll probably stay here as the head coach of the Chargers for another 25 years. You're probably right. If you're not gone now. I won't be. Then you have a shot at being here for a while. 25 years. Yeah. It's a little too long. I'll be 104 years old, and I'll finally retire. Think you'll win a Super Bowl at that time? No. No, but you know what? We'll win a few games and look real flashy, and we'll have great numbers, so joke on that. So that they can't fire you because you actually have a winning record, just not when it counts. Yeah, it's a great way to put it. Okay, I got it. Crystallize my thoughts eloquently. Thank you.

18:19So if that wasn't enough, goodbye Gonzo. Gonzo is Gonzo. What is going on? Adrian Gonzalez, no longer here. Franchise player. Yeah. Franchise. Best player. The face of the franchise. Yeah, best player on the team. Yep. He's gone. One of the best players in the National League. Yeah. He's gone. Good luck, Padres. Yeah, guess where he went? Where? Austin. Oh, wow. God! That's great. What you call a double whammy. Oh, wow. Well, this thing almost didn't get done. It was even reported last night that it was not a done deal yet because he wants an extension and they couldn't get an extension done, but it looks like this thing is done. But, oh, breathe easy because Casey Kelly, Anthony Rizzo, and Raymond Fuentes are coming to town. That's who we got? We got, like, minor league prospects? We got prospects. Nobody major league ready. I got into it with a few people about this on Saturday. During the day, we were kind of just talking about the trade and whatnot. I love to talk baseball. And not into it, but, you know, a debate. By talk, do you mean in person? No, I mean on Facebook. Yeah, it was, hey, Woods, you're crazy. This is a great deal for the Padres. And I said, well, you got them under contract for another year.

19:37So at least maybe start the season with him, let his demand get even higher, and maybe trade him then. But no, I guess he had to get it done now. You know, maybe what will happen is those three guys will come in here to San Diego, and they'll be great prospects. They'll turn into something really wonderful, and then we'll get rid of them for more prospects. Exactly. That's exactly what will happen, because we don't pay anybody. Yeah, because we can't afford them, can't we? Casey Kelly is like the linchpin of the deal. And I looked at his record. He's like 2-5 with a 5-0-9 ERA and AA. Oh, my gosh. That's your number one prospect, Red Sox. Oh, that's awful. That's our guy, Casey Kelly. You know what? Just vote for that stadium. Vote for that stadium. We'll build that stadium. And let me tell you something. When we build that stadium, we're going to put a product on that field. Oh, we forgot to tell you. Once that product blows up, we'll ship it off to Boston. But we'll put a product on the field. You'll love it. And Chicago. We'll send Jake Peavy to Chicago. Yeah, sure. Where you guys can see him pitch there. It's awesome. We'll consider this just like a training facility. Yes. Yes. We'll consider... A breeding ground, if you will. Farm league. Yeah, we're great. That's a great way to put it. That's a great way to put it. It's just the stupidest thing.

21:04I just don't see how you say, oh, this is a great deal for the Padres. Yeah, in sheer numbers, you got three, maybe four for one, which is always, yeah, it's great. You got four guys for one. Gonzo is proven. Gonzo is a freaking MVP candidate every year. He's an MVP candidate. Casey Kelly and Anthony Rizzo and Raymond Fuentes aren't MVP. Caliber players, yet. Yet, thank you. Well, let's just be optimistic. They will. And then they'll be Yankees after that. Oh, don't say that. See, I thought you were going to come on today and say, hey, this is no shock, but it looks like the Padres are in the hunt for Cliff Lee. I know, right? Isn't that, I mean, I say it and it's just, you laugh. Yeah, there's no way. It's so funny. Of course we wouldn't be. Of course we wouldn't be. Of course. One day, we will. It's crazy. We just have to save up money or maybe have a bake sale? I don't know. It's such a vicious cycle because they did have a product in the field that people wanted to see last year, but nobody came. You know why, Woods? Because of crap like this. Right. These are the things that upset fans. That's the vicious circle that you get into. M1 Super Mario from Temecula wants to talk to Woodsy about this. Go ahead. Woodsy, man, I'm just like you. I'm not originally from...

22:25Yeah, for sure. This is garbage. Yeah, that's it. I mean... It's true. Oh, let's not talk like that. I'm depressed. It is. I mean, you never know. I mean, truth hurts a lot of times, you know? Okay, no one had the Padres back last season, and they did great. Right, and they were doing great, and nobody watched them then. Well, I know. I was hoping for change. You're in first place, and you've got a division rival in town, and you've got 20,000 people at your ballpark. You look around, and you're like, this is great. Exactly. You know? I'll tell you right now, that last series of the season, I mean, I felt like I was at Wrigley Field. Yeah, Wrigley Field. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yes, sir. This is why Mikey keeps on getting his heart broken, you know? Yep, this is it. Yeah. I'll be back, though. You know me. She's real foxy. So good looking. I take her back every year. I take her back. Mikey, I've been hearing you for a long time, and every season he's always back. Yeah, I come back. I'm really upset right now because she promised she wouldn't do this to me.

23:35She ran out of town and didn't call you and you don't know where she is. And I'm just getting straight to voicemail. Every time I call, straight to voicemail. I've been texting her, nothing back. And then finally at like two in the morning, which is the weirdest time, she's like, yes, question mark. And I'm like, yes, we're dating. Yeah, you're my girlfriend. The Padres are a rough relationship. What? What you should do to better this relationship is just get down on your knees. Stop it. Take her hand to yours and just draw a heart. Oh, yeah. No, how dare you. Real nice. Oh, too late. He's already done that. I've already done that. My sophomore year in high school, I did that. I got nothing for you to ask. Thank you. Thank you very much. That's so funny. Oh, unbelievable. We will still support him. We do. That's what we do. These are our boys. We're going to support him. 7 o'clock, we are going to be re-airing. A very incredible interview from Friday morning that you probably missed. I didn't even know about this until this morning. Mel Gibson, he has a new movie coming out called The Beaver. You can't just make up names of movies, dude. I'm not. Aren't you? I'm not. Nice beaver. Hello. Listen.

24:57This movie is either going to win an Academy Award or it's going to be Waterworld 2. Oh, no. It's so weird. Dude, it's so weird. I'll play you the very odd preview to the movie. And you'll hear it and you'll be like, what the heck is that? Yeah, there's no doubt about it. Mel Gibson's new movie is weird. It's weird. I mean, it doesn't. The Beaver. It's called The Beaver. Wow. I don't know where that fits. I'm going to play you the preview in just a second. It's so weird. Oh, by the way, our guy Jared that does all of our stuff for graphic design. In fact, he did the graphic design for the Mikey-thon t-shirt, which is rad. And we're going to be giving away some of those t-shirts for people that donate.

26:37But if you want to see his work and what Jared does, go to createyourdesignonline.com. Just really rad. I mean, the guy's just incredible. He does, like, movie stuff. Like, it looks like movie stuff. Better. Better. Without a doubt, the best I've ever seen. And quick. Does business cards, and he does bumper stickers and T-shirts and anything you want. Websites. Yeah, websites. Logos. Logos. All of it. Word of the Day's Gingerbread. Be listening for it for the Linkin Park tickets and the Mikey Show t-shirt. And then we're replaying the Secret Service interview at 7, which is just the craziest, most amazing interview. You've got to hear it. It's coming up at 7. Okay, so listen to the movie preview for Mel Gibson's new movie. This is the story of Walter Black. a hopelessly depressed individual. The successful and loving family man he used to be has gone missing. And no matter what he's tried, Walter can't seem to bring him back. What's that? It's a brain. Mom says yours got broken. So you can see that Walter is a man who's lost all hope. But he's about to find his voice. Bloody hell, look at you. I'm sick.

28:07Do you want to get better? Who are you? I'm the beaver, Walter. And I'm here to save your damn life. The person who handed you this card is under the care of a prescription puppet designed to help create a psychological distance between himself and the negative aspects of his personality. This is a joke, right? No, son. It's a fresh start. I'm not talking to you, nutjob. I'm talking to mom. The beaver is a hand puppet. of a beaver that he finds. I can't wait. It sounds like there's good people in there. Is that Jodie Foster? She directed it too. And the other guy, the older man who was in like Batman. I don't know who that is. I just know the only two that I know for sure is Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster and he's going crazy. He's a very successful guy and he's depressed and he finds a hand puppet of a beaver and the beaver starts to talk to him and

29:10He becomes this other personality and lives through just that puppet. And then they, you know, in the long version of the trailer, I mean, it's a drama. And you see these really what look like touching scenes of Jodie Foster crying as his wife saying she wants him back. Wow. I think it could be good. I wish she picked a different animal like the otter. The otter. The possum. The beaver. The penguin. It's, you know, double on time. You can't escape that, right? Nice beaver. So you're going to just go to it no matter what. You can't help it. So it's either going to be Academy Award winning or really stupid. It could be good. I think it's going to be good. Yeah. I have a feeling. I think it will be. Here's the deal. Here's the deal about Mel Gibson. Guy's a freaking great actor. And I mean a great... I watched Braveheart this weekend and was like, oh my god. He's so good. He's so good. He's a great director, too. He makes Tom Cruise look like a high school... Like a plebeian. Yeah, high school plebeian. See, Tom Cruise is always one of those examples of people that I use that I think is a better actor than people give him credit for. I've always liked him. So anyway, so there that is.

30:32He's no Luke Besaw. He used to be good, and then he went crazy, and he just does weird things now. Let's do some news and sports and find out what's happening in the world. Sienna, what's going on in news? All right, well, a couple weeks ago, the California Highway Patrol warned us that they were going to be cracking down on the cell phone policy. You know, don't hold your cell phone up to your ear. Yeah. And they did last week in one day. They gave 456 tickets to people for talking on their cell phone. 438 of them were for not having hands free, and the other 18 were for texting. Hello, man. The bass. Sometimes my game. I don't do it anymore. You don't? I already got a $140 ticket. Did you get a Bluetooth? I have the little, it's got a cord. Okay. I don't have a Bluetooth. Well, they're saying the base fine for a first time offense is $20. But as Lauren just said, $140. They're saying for a second time offense, it's $50. But after court fees and taxes, it's around $140. So expensive. You don't want one. Woods, why don't you use the visor Bluetooth? I don't know what that is. It's a Bluetooth that goes on your visor. I don't know. I'm not really good with technology.

31:40Is that technology? Isn't it? No. Not really, because once you get into the car, it automatically connects. You just enable it. You buy this little speaker, and you can tap on it to turn it on. Who puts the speaker in? The speaker is built in. There's no wires. Just a clip on? Yeah. Or do you get that? And then on your cell phone, you go to a place on your cell phone where you activate hands-free. Okay, I got it. The very first time you ever use it. You connect it to your phone and then it's connected all the time. Yeah. Okay. Every time you get in the car, it's connected. Okay. I didn't even thought the volume was breaking. I'll get one. I'll get one. The volume's not good? I didn't think so. My truck's kind of noisy. Is that what you use in your car? Because it echoes all the time. No, my car comes through the speakers. Yeah, Jamie's car comes through the speakers. Huh. It's awesome, but nope. Another big thing going on locally right now is the East County Animal Rescue. They're saying that someone in San Diego is trying to poison cats in El Cajon. There's some water bowls that are always on Main Street, and they found antifreeze in these water bowls. And, I mean, there was already one cat that was found dead from it. Wait, wait, wait. Antifreeze? Wait, wait.

32:43The water bowls are out in the public? Haven't you seen? There's stores and stuff that will put out a water bowl for dogs that walk around. I did not know that. Or cats that are neighborhood cats that hang out. I thought that's a bad idea. No, even some malls do it. I thought that that encourages the animals to be dependent on you. And if you're not consistent about it, then the poor animals starve. It's why you're walking your dog. You're supposed to be able to go by it. pet-friendly businesses. They can get a drink. Yeah, have a little drink. They can get a scotch and soda. Yeah. Seven and seven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, right? Yeah. Margarita. Margarita. It's bad if you put, like, milk out on the porch, I think, because then the cats will keep coming back. Oh, yeah. I guess if it's a business, it's a nice thing to do. Okay. Yeah, so that's... But they're poisoned. Somebody's poisoned. Yeah, there's neighborhood cats that go to them, and there's someone, they're trying to find out who is putting, you know, antifreeze in it, and, I mean, you just need, like, a little teaspoon, and that's fatal. I bet you it's a teenager. I bet when they find out, it's a teenager. Probably a white teenager. A white teenager. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. Oh, boy. White male teenager. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Auburn and Oregon are your BCS title game playas. Those guys are going to go at it this year. And you know what? I watched both of those games on Saturday. The two fastest teams I've ever seen, especially Oregon. And Cam Newton is freakishly talented. He's unbelievable. Yeah.

34:10Venture to say he's the best college football player I've seen. Oh, wow. Wow. Who's better? That I've seen. Reggie Bush? No. Cam's better. What about, like, college players? Ronnie Lott. I didn't see him play in college, but I did see Cam Newton, and Cam Newton's probably the best I've seen. I mean, the guy can command. Keyshawn Johnson? Yeah, dude. All these SC queens. Come on, pal. Yeah, no, Cam was amazing. He had a great season, and that's going to be an awesome game. And then San Diego State is going to extend Brady Hoke's deal. They're going to announce it at $130 today. He'll get an increase from the $700K he's going to make next year and at least two more years to his deal. There you go. Killer. Great move. Great for San Diego State. Do you know how we were getting a new couch? Yeah. Yeah, the couch got delivered. And do you guys remember that there was one thing? That I wanted in a couch. Thick cushions? Soft. Soft cushions. Okay. Deep. Deep. And soft. Deep and soft. Why do I feel like this is not going in the right way? Rock hard. Oh. How is that possible? I'll bet you $1,000. They're not. Woods, Woods, Woods. Rebecca said, oh no, they're rock hard. She did. How did they get it so wrong? The guy says to me yesterday on the phone.

35:32Oh, just take your shoes off, take the cushions off and walk on them for three minutes and you'll see what a difference they make. And I'm like, I'm a 215 pound guy. I sat on it for 80 minutes and it didn't do anything. And why not just give me it the way it's supposed to work instead of making me. Do calisthenics to make it work. And just so you know, Mike went to a place where he handpicked every detail about a couch and they made it so that it was exactly what he wanted. It's custom. A custom couch. Custom couch. And now this. He says, try it for a week. And if it doesn't, you know, get softer, he goes, then I'll move you to the cloud soft. And I said, why didn't you? How come we weren't in the cloud soft? Who wouldn't want to be in a cloud soft? You should just give me the couch. I'll take it. How does the couch look? Does it look nice in there? Everything about it is great, except that it's rock hard. So they won't be able to save that couch. They'll just have to throw it away. So they should give it to one of us. It's the seat cushions. I call it. It's the seat cushions. But this guy's good, and he says he'll make it right. Is he?

36:44I hope so. Oh, boy. Rock hard. He's not the worst. Jake, my son Jake, is four years old. And the other day, he was dancing nude. He usually is. My father like son. He was dancing nude at the top of the stairs, singing and calling down to Nita. And Nita looked up and said, Why don't you put some clothes on? And so I walked upstairs and walked past him and he's dancing and he's naked. And I went into the bedroom and I said to my wife, you know, almost kind of irritated laying in bed. I said to my wife, babe, maybe put some clothes on him and not have him dancing around nude. I said this nude in the bed. with a sheet covering my private parts. And she looked at me and she goes, maybe you throw some clothes on too. And I laughed so hard. I thought I ruptured something. Maybe he not run around nude. I'm nude as I say it. I'm nude. It hadn't occurred to me. Maybe you get some clothes on too, pal. Before you start.

38:13Maybe practice what you preach. Maybe practice what you preach. You know what I mean? That's right. Some weird happenings with you folks here on the show over the weekend. Woods went to breakfast with Sienna. Thanks for the invite, guys. It was at like 7 in the morning. She needed to come get the PlayStation 2. So we went and got a meal. Oh, boy. We were going to see you that night for dinner. Oh, boy. I'm so sorry. Sorry, I couldn't make it. Mike, how was your invite? I didn't. Woods said that he had a PS2 and ours broke. And so I was like, oh, sweet. And, you know, he just got a new one. So we went up and I wanted to let he and his wife, Jamie, hold baby stage because they're about to have a baby. Yep. You were. Sleeping in a bed with your boyfriend. Very, very presumptuous on your part. I'm sorry. One can only ask so many times. One can only get shot down so many times. I got asked to go to breakfast once with you, and I went. And I went. I'm so sorry. Take that. Please forgive me. Anyway. Anywho. Anywho. So, Woodsie goes to this restaurant with Sienna, and he parks in front of a gym in a strip center.

39:33And there was no sign that said that there was no parking. Right. Or that it was this place is parking only. Right. So he parks there. Guy comes out and asks him to move. And Woods says no. Oh, damn straight. Damn straight. And Woods told him to, quote, go jump in a lake. Oh, my gosh. Strong language. Hey, I was being different. Go jump in a lake. That's not what I wanted to tell him. What's the matter with you? What are you doing? Me? Yes. What's your problem? What should I have done? You should have said, oh, I'm not allowed to park. You should have asked questions. I'm not allowed to park here. I did. And he said. Yeah, we prefer if you're not going to use the gym, you don't park in front of our store. Okay. Okay, great. See you later. I'm going to breakfast. Well, that's not very nice. I mean, he's right. Is he right? There was no sign. Well, I know, but he's telling you. I don't care what he's telling me. He can tell me I owe him $100, too. I'm not going to believe that. Well, you don't owe him $100. Right, and I can park there.

40:34Legally I can park that. No, legally you can. Right, so. But since, oh wow, that was rude. Bigger gesture. Wow. Threw the bird at him. He preferred, but it's not a rule. I don't care what you prefer. No, it isn't a rule, but in the spirit of what he's saying, you're like, oh yeah, this is probably for the people at the gym. My bad, sorry. If you're going to the gym, I think you can stand to walk. Yeah. At 200 feet. He can get, dude. You don't need to be parked in the front if you're going to the gym. Now listen, there's a dry cleaner right next door to them, and they have, you know, whatever, dry cleaning only. So I was like, oh, oops. And then I pulled in and was like, oh, jackpot. And then the guy's like, hey, pal. You know, he's all buff guy, tap out shirt or something. Oh, man. Hey, pal, you can't park there. I'm like, can't I? So if it had been a little old lady that said, excuse me, dear, could you not? Park here because it's for our gym. This is my muffin shop. Oh, I would have told her to get too. Really? Yeah. You would have said, hey. I bet he would. Granny, first of all, I was starving. Oh. Well, you didn't say that. I was starving and I wanted to eat. Okay, okay. Okay. And there was no sign. Oh. Sorry. Yeah. I'm not the jerk here, pal. He's the jerk.

41:42You know. I'm not a jerk. That was kind of rude. No. Your reaction was a little overboard, but it's annoying that he said that. Oh, yeah. I agree with that. If it were me, I would have said, oh, man, sorry. And then you would have moved again. Don't apologize. Then you would have moved again. Because it's courteous. Yeah, but you don't need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. It's a parking lot. Maybe you post it if it needs to be there. Exactly. Hey, have you bought that spot for your place? Hey, pal, throw a sign up. I won't park there. Yeah. Literally. Or maybe shell out a few extra bucks and it'll be reserved for your gym. Paint it on the curb. I guess I could take that out too. Yeah, showed you. I'm not showing anybody. I just parked where I'm supposed to park. On your stupid rules. You're about rules. I followed the rules. And he put his business over the other businesses. Who are you, pal? I'll tell you who he is. He's a guy that hasn't bought a sign that says, you know, don't park here. And you're right about that. He hasn't. But he's also a guy that wants the gym people to be able to park at the gym. And unless he said to me, and you know what, regardless, had he come out and said to me, hey, a-hole, get your effing car out of this space. This is for gym people, all right, fatty? What I would have said to him is, I would have said, wow, that's pretty rude. But, yeah, I won't park here.

43:06Are you kidding me? Sorry, pal. Yes, and I'll tell you why. Because my deal of doing the right thing doesn't have anything to do with what a moron he is. And he may very well be a moron. That's not the right thing. He's pushing his weight around. Yes. The reason he doesn't have a sign is because he didn't buy those spots. He didn't buy those spots. If he really wanted to give his customers the treatment he feels they deserve, which is preferential, then he should have paid extra for those reserve spots. 100% correct. Now I ask myself, what if I'm one of those preferential customers? What if I'm one of the people that's going to the gym? Come on now. I know, right? And I come to the gym and I realize that who's actually parked in the gym parking is somebody that's having breakfast somewhere. I'd probably be like, in my head, I'd probably be like... Why don't they park somewhere else, man? I would never notice that. I would never notice that. I know I wouldn't. First come, first serve. As I paint out the scenario and you know that the person is actually going to breakfast and parking in the spot where you're actually going to the gym, you probably think to yourself, I should be able to. I'm coming to the gym, you know? I look at it more like this guy's a bully. Yeah. And he's just throwing. He's like, look how big I am. I'll tell this guy what to do. Yeah. You know what's sad about this whole thing? What?

44:26The people are going to the gym and they need to park right in front of the gym. That's what I'm saying. You're going there for a reason. Park on the other side of the park. First come, first serve. What we should do is, since we know that we're going to the gym, all of us, since we've now agreed upon this, we should all park as far away from the entrance. I do. Good for you. A little extra walking is not going to do you any harm. Good for you. And we all should do that. We all should do that. Because if we do, we'll be... We'll be... It's better. Better people. First come, first serve. Woods, was there a lot of parking spread out through the lot? Well, not a lot. There was no... Meaning there was no parking. No, there weren't that many spots. There weren't that many. Sienna, you know what? I gave up one for her because it was closer and she had the kid with her. So, not the kid. She had her baby. I noticed that and I appreciate it. You're welcome. It's first come, first served. M1 Chantel from Encinitas. Hey, guys. I'm a long-time listener, first-time caller, but I used to actually work at... you're talking about in Encinitas. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. How do you know? How do you know it's the same gym? Well, there's really only the one. I'm not going to name it, but there's the dry cleaner and there's the gym and then there's the Vons. No, this is different. I don't remember Vons. There's no Vons. Yeah, this is up in San Alejo Hills. Oh, I'm sorry. It's okay.

45:47I like you calling, though. However, does she have some insider stuff? Yeah, she does, but only on the one that she presumed that it was. Well, maybe this guy's under the same weird thinking that whoever her owner was thinking. So you work at a gym, huh? Yeah, but there's a sign. Right. There's a dry cleaner, and then they're crazy about it, too. The dry cleaners are. Oh, yeah. They'll kill you. Yeah. If you park there. The owner comes out and freaks out. Right. And you know what? You know why he has a ride to? Because he paid for those and he put a sign up. Do whatever he wants. You can go pee in him if he wants to. There he is. He bought them. Yeah. I want to be more of the thinking that it's not about that guy to me. No. It's about customers of the gym. And I'd like to let them have a better space. Would you, man? I just followed the rules. I really would. I just followed the rules. And now I'm getting scathed for it. And all I did was follow the rules. I just parked in an unmarked spot. But you also told him to jump in a lake. Yeah, I did. Yeah, that part was excessive. But here's the deal. I wanted to tell him... You're brave. I wanted to tell him to go do something else, but I didn't. You left your car after saying... Like, that guy could have tried to have it towed or something. Yeah, what's he going to do? He couldn't, though. He'd have no recourse. That's true. Well, then, good for you for standing up for your American right. Thank you, Mike.

47:05For your American right. Just trying to follow the rules. To not take guff from some muscle head. That's right, meathead. That's right. Don't mess with me. I had French toast to eat. Oh, yes, you did. So, coming up next, we are going to replay the interview that you missed, that you may have missed, with the Secret Service. Secret Service guy that was on the trunk that you see in the Zaruter film during the Kennedy assassination. It's... Truly a remarkable interview. And it's coming up next. I said that if we played that rejoin, I have to at least give you some context when I say that I didn't graduate from high school. That is a true fact. However, that's not good. Who is it? No idea. Fiona Apple. Oh, nice. I'm in. Very foxy. Very foxy. Very heroin chic. Very. Get some. The placement. Like, what? The placement, right? He wants that to take off. It is. And it's so bad. It's the next get. It has. It has a little. It has taken off. And the thing that's funny about it is that in, you know, very typical J-like fashion, get some. Get some. Not like, get some. Yeah, get some. Get some. Get some.

48:55Get some. It was a really, really cool phrase in like 2003. It's right up there with weather. It's the bomb. That's right. It is the bomb. A couple of things and then we're going to do this interview. We're going to replay this interview for you because it was a very, very incredible interview that our M1 Nation has just talked about quite a bit. Really liked, and it's one of my favorite interviews that I've ever done, 23 years of radio. So we're going to play it for you here in just a second, because it happened late in the show on Friday, and we want you to hear it. I'm Mikey. Guy sitting across from me is Steve Woods. We call him Woods. Who? Who's Steve? The girl sitting to my right is Lauren O'Brien. We call her L-O-B. The girl sitting to my left, who has a very... Very cute outfit on today. Thank you. She's got a little knit cap and a scarf and she looks real cute. Very wintry. Very wintry. Yeah. It's nice. And Sienna. Jay is our producer and screening phones today as well. It's Will. It's Will. It's Will. Hey, if you want to be on our Facebook fan page, you can. Just go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. You should. Yeah, you should. You should. M-I-K-E-Y. Mikey Show.

50:18Change is coming to Facebook. More on that in a minute. Or more on that next hour because this hour we're doing this. We're replaying this interview for you. And if you want to follow us on Twitter, we are on Twitter. And occasionally we say things on there. Mikey Show Mikey. And it's Mikey Show and our name after it. So Mikey Show Woods, Mikey Show Lauren, Mikey Show Sienna, Mikey Show Jay. And you can follow us on Twitter. Let's see. Okay, so let me give this to you. This happened on Friday. The Secret Service agent that had the details, two Secret Service agents, and one of them was on the detail of protecting President Kennedy the day that he was assassinated. So if you missed it, here's what happened. It's great to have you guys in here, so thank you both for coming in here this morning. I appreciate it. Thank you.

51:12Jerry has been somebody that we have seen in the past in various interviews and things like that. But this, after a number of years, 47 years, Clint is just starting to talk about the events that happened that day in Dallas. Is that correct, Clint? That's correct. For the first time, I've revealed in depth what I know about what happened in Dallas in 1963. Now, you were both assigned to that motorcade, and I believe, Clint, you were assigned to Mrs. Kennedy? That was my responsibility, Mrs. Kennedy. Okay, and how about you, Jerry? Well, I was on the midnight shift the previous night, and I had flown to Austin, so I was not in Dallas. You were not there that day? Not there that day. Okay. I guess, you know, I want to start with you and ask you a little bit about just sort of how that day started for you and what you remember about that day starting for you. It started over in Fort Worth. We spent the night of the 21st in Fort Worth, Texas, at the Texas Hotel. And there were some functions there, including a breakfast that the president attended. And Mrs. Kennedy finally went into the breakfast.

52:38drove out to the air base there in Fort Worth, flew over to Love Field in Dallas. There was a large crowd there at the airport, about 5,000 people to meet them. President Kennedy went in and shook the hands of the people. Mrs. Kennedy accompanied them, which is very unusual for her. Then we joined the motorcade and began driving into the city of Dallas. Now, Jerry Blaine, who is with us as well, You know, Jerry, you said that you were in Austin at the time that this happened? In Austin, we rotated shifts every two weeks. And I had completed an advance in Tampa, Florida, and was supposed to go to Dallas to help out there. But one of the agents had been dating a Braniff Airlines stewardess. So I said, be my guest, because I'd been on about three advances in a row. Right. And it could have been that easy. I mean, it would have just had that not been the case. You may have very well been there. Now, talk to me a little bit about the Secret Service. And I'm sure that maybe there's still things that you're not allowed to say in terms of what your life is like as a Secret Service agent. Or are you allowed to speak about...

53:55certain areas of security and how it worked because one of the things that I remember was being young and when President Reagan was shot and sort of the immediacy of how armed these Secret Service agents were. In other words, they look like guys that are just wearing suits, but when someone is shot, you see automatic weapons come out. You don't know where they were even carrying them, but they come out. And you're just sort of shocked, like, wow, you know, these guys are really... Same deal with you guys back in those days? Well, it was the evolution of security. You know, once you lose a person to a sniper in a window, people start to listen to you. Before that time, there had not been an attempt until Harry Truman... the assassination at the Blair House, they doubled the number of agents to the same number that we had on the Kennedy detail. And President Eisenhower had no threat against him, nor any attempt. So until President Kennedy came on, there had been no attempt or assassination attempt on him. Clint, you were there that day. We'll pick up again from Love Field.

55:13Love Field, you joined the motorcade. You're headed into the city of Dallas. We drove into the city of Dallas, a lot of side streets. Wasn't too large a crowd along the way, but some school children and some Catholic nuns and sisters. And anytime there was a group like that, the president would make a stop so he could shake their hands. We got to Main Street in downtown Dallas, and that's where the large crowd was. They were 10 deep and then 15 deep and then 20 deep on each side of the street. spilled over into the street. And I had been told that the president didn't want us up in the back of the car because he didn't want it to appear that there was anything between him and the people. And so at the beginning of Main Street, there wasn't anybody in the back of the car. But as we progressed down the street, the driver kept the car to the left-hand side to keep the president away from the crowd on the right. He was sitting in the right rear. Mrs. Kennedy was in the left rear. This put her in jeopardy, so I would get up on the back of the car. And I did that five or six times down Main Street, and nothing was said. Now, when you say that, you mean to say that they had told you that the president didn't want anybody on the back of the car, but you were violating that to protect the first lady? Well, that's correct, but I didn't consider it a violation. I considered it my job. Right, right, right. So when we got to the end of Main Street, we had noticed down Main Street, all the windows in the buildings had been opened, and people were on rooftops and on balconies.

56:39He was giving the president a very, very wonderful reception. We got down to Houston Street, which is the end of Main Street, and turned right. When we did that, the crowd really dropped off. And we noticed there was a building immediately in front of us. It was a large red building. It turned out to be the Texas School Book Depository. The windows were open in that building as well, but we didn't see anything unusual there. Now, let's back up a little bit. As you were coming out to begin... through the city, and you're saying that, you know, you see the crowds are beginning to get bigger and bigger. As a Secret Service agent, how is that making you feel? Are you okay with it? Because up to this point, there hadn't been any tragedy. So are you thinking, eh, this is par for the course? Well, we're never okay with it. But we adjust to it, and we realize this is a situation we're confronted with, and we just have to do the best we can. So it's just a matter of accepting what exists. and doing what you can to protect him during that period of time. And that's what we did is we went down Main Street in Dallas. Okay, now you say that about five or six times you decided to get onto the trunk of the car to protect the First Lady. Correct. What would make you get off? What would make you get on?

57:56Well, if I saw anything real dangerous, I'd get on. Or if I saw that she was being placed in jeopardy because she was too close to the crowd and left, then I would get on. But when they moved to a different situation, then I'd drop back to give them the... the sense that there was nobody between them and the people. Okay, and at this point, you're walking alongside the vehicle because the car's going slow enough that you can kind of keep up with a walking pace. Well, we didn't walk beside the car there on Main Street in Dallas because we had motorcycle outriders along each side of the car, and they were trying to keep the crowd back. But because the driver kept going to the left, the outrider on the left-hand side had to drop off. That's one of the reasons I got up on the car, is that the motorcycle... The police officer had to drop back, so he couldn't keep the people that far away from the car on the left. Okay. But you're on foot, though? Well, I'm on foot going between the two cars, but I'm either riding in the follow-up car or I'm on top of the rear step in the left rear of the presidential vehicle. Got it, got it. Okay, so you see this red building. It turns out to be later. It turns out to be the book.

59:04uh depository yeah the script book depository now you're you're driving through you see the windows open and uh if i remember correctly you make a left made a left-hand turn out of elm street okay it was more than a 90 degree turn and this is a big car so the driver had to slow down very much to you know to make that turn when he straightened out he began to accelerate we hadn't gone very far down elm street And I was still on the follow-up car. And I heard an explosive noise from my right rear. It was kind of an elevated position. And I had been scanning to the left where there was a grassy area and where some people were, but not very many. When I heard that noise, my immediate reaction was to scan from my left back to my right toward that noise. When I did that, my vision took me across the back of the presidential vehicle. And I saw the president grab at his throat, lurch to his left, and I knew something was wrong. So I jumped off the follow-up car. Ran toward the presidential vehicle in an attempt to get up on top of the presidential vehicle to place myself between the president, Mrs. Kennedy, and whoever was shooting at them. Okay. And at that point, that was one explosion that you'd heard. That was the first shot that was fired. Okay. And we also know that the governor of Texas was sitting in the front seat, correct? He was sitting immediately in front of the president. Okay. And so at that first shot...

1:00:26Do you have any recollection of him and his mannerism and his movement? Because he was shot as well. The bullet, if I remember correctly, the bullet went through President Kennedy and went into the back of the front seat. Well, that is a matter of opinion. Yeah. That's never been proven. Okay. In fact, I have a different version, and so does Mrs. Connolly, and she was sitting next to him. Okay. When I jumped and ran, I didn't hear the second shot because I was running. Okay. But by the time the third shot appeared, I was very close to the rear of the presidential car, trying to get on, and I heard the shot, and I felt it because it hit the president in the head to the upper rear of the right ear, and it left a hole so that brain matter and blood and bone fragments were spewing out of that wound, and they went across the trunk, across me, across Mrs. Kennedy, so we were covered in that type of material. About that time, Mrs. Kennedy came up off the... out of her seat onto the trunk. She was trying to reach something that came off the president's head to the right rear. She didn't know I was there. I got up on the trunk of the car and pushed her back into the seat. When I did that, the president fell to his left into her lap, and his head was exposed to the right side of his head. I could see there was a hole in the skull about the size of my palm, and most of the brain matter in that area had been removed. There was blood and brain and bone fragments throughout the entire rear of the car.

1:01:53I noticed that his eyes were fixed. I assumed that it was a fatal wound. I turned and gave a thumbs down signal to the guys in the follow up car to tell him we were in a dire situation. Wow. Unbelievable. Now, as this happens, your detail, obviously, as you said before, your detail is Jackie. She is you're to protect the first lady. Well, that was my primary responsibility. But the overall responsibility is to protect the president. Right. And so we know that Jackie made her way onto the trunk of the car at one point. How did that happen? And what was what was happening then? Well, she thought that she saw thought that she saw something coming off the president's head to the right rear of the car. And she was trying to retrieve that. It was material from his skull. Right. And she didn't know I was there. By the time I got up on the car and pushed her back into the seat, then the president fell to his left.

1:02:53But she never did reach the material that came off the back of the car. This is something that I would never know unless I were able to ask you not only a man that was there, but a man that was aiding in protecting Mrs. Kennedy and Mr. Kennedy. Talking to Clint Hill, 47 years after the death of President Kennedy, is just now beginning to talk about this. So the question is, the reaction from... The crowd, obviously at this point, there's so much confusion and so much that people don't know. Is the reaction dispersing, everybody screaming and running away? Or are they not making any noise because they really don't know what's happened? Well, I didn't hear any noise. I was really distracted by what was going on. But if you watch a certain number of the films that were taken that day, you'll see that the group of people on what they call the grassy knoll. after the first shot, all turned and looked back at the school book depository, indicating that's where they know the shot came from. Some of the reaction was to run away. Some of it was to fall down. But all of it was to turn back toward the school book depository. So when Mrs. Kennedy came out onto the trunk and you you then push her back into the vehicle, is that when the vehicle who gives the order to the driver?

1:04:17let's go, you know, we're going to Parkland. It was automatic response on the part of the driver. He hit the accelerator. In fact, he hit it just as I was trying to get up on the trunk, and I slipped, and I had to run an extra five or six steps before I could get back up there. But then the agent in charge in the right front seat of the car was calling, get us to a hospital. We got up, we went past the lead car, which was being driven by Chief Curry, the chief of police in Dallas. And it was occupied also by the advance agent, Wayne Lawson. And we were screaming at him, get us to a hospital, which he did. He got to his car in front of ours, took us to Parkland Hospital. Governor Connolly, do you remember any interaction with him on the way to the hospital? I didn't know he'd been hit at first. Halfway to the hospital, he kind of... Raised up a little bit and I could see the front of his body front of his shirt was all covered in blood So I knew that he had also been shot. What about mrs Connelly was was there? You know are you asking are you okay? Have you been hit are you you know, what what's the? What's the mood like in the car? What are the questions that are being asked in the car after we got more going? Nobody said anything. This is Connelly was trying to

1:05:28Help her husband, Mrs. Kennedy, was holding the president in her lap. I was placing myself as high up as I could above them to the rear to prevent any more shooting going into the car and hitting the occupants. Do you remember arriving at Parkland, or is all that a blur? No, I remember that very much so. We arrived. The advance agent jumped out of the car because nobody was there to meet us. We expected to have gurneys there when we got there, but it wasn't anybody. And he ran into the emergency room. There was an attendant trying to bring out two gurneys by himself. The agent helped him bring the gurneys out to the car. When he got to the car, we had a problem of getting the governor out first because he was seated in a jump seat immediately in front of the president. The governor tried to help us get him out himself. He was really trying. We lifted him out, put him on a gurney. Mrs. Connolly followed. They raced into the emergency room. Then we folded the jump seats forward, and we're going to remove the president from the car. Mrs. Kennedy wouldn't let go of the body. So I realized that what her problem was, she didn't want anybody to see the condition he was in. Okay. So I took off my coat. I threw it over his head and his upper torso. Then she let go of the body. We lifted him out, put him on the gurney, and raced into the emergency room. What dignity. I mean, just incredible, especially in light of what was going on, the fact that she had the wherewithal and that kind of dignity for her husband and for the situation in that moment.

1:06:56She was in a state of shock, but she was reacting just like she just didn't want anybody to know what it was. Like any wife. Yes. Like any wife. And so you go inside. And what do you remember about getting inside? We got into the emergency room and the doctor started arriving. And eventually, I think there were a total of 10 or 12 in the emergency room. Mrs. Kennedy was in there for a while. Governor Connolly was on it. in an emergency room right across a little hallway with other doctors and Mrs. Connelly. Then we got Mrs. Kennedy and Mrs. Connelly to sit in the area between the two. About this time, my supervisor yelled at me, get the White House on the phone. So I grabbed the phone and dialed what was then the Dallas White House. Everywhere we traveled, they set up a special switchboard, and this was called the Dallas White House. I got to Dallas White House, told them to connect me to Washington, to the White House, and to leave the line open. And I tried to explain then to my supervisor in Washington what had happened. About that time, Mr. Kellerman wanted the phone, so I gave him the phone. He started to talk to the people in Washington. Then a doctor come running out of the emergency room and said, he's breathing. So Mrs. Kennedy ran back into the emergency room. Mr. Kellerman ran back into the emergency room. They threw me the phone. About that time, the operator cut in on the phone line and said, Attorney General Robert Kennedy wants to talk to Agent Hill.

1:08:22I said, this is Agent Hill. And he said, Clint, he said, what happened? So I started to explain that the governor had been shot, that the president had been shot, and what was the situation. He then said to me, he said, how bad is it? And I didn't want to tell him that his brother was dead. So I simply said, it's as bad as it can get. So he hung up the phone. Then I began to talk to the agent supervisor in Washington. About that time, they came back out of the emergency room. It was strictly. a reflex action on the part of the president. He was not breathing. Were you with Mrs. Kennedy at that time? I was on the phone adjacent to her. Another agent was right by her side. Now, you're assigned to protect her, so my guess is that over a period of time, you have to get to know her, and you know her pretty well. Is there ever a moment where you're able to comfort, I guess, somebody that... you just see that needs to be comforted, or do you have to maintain a sort of, I don't know, a level of professionalism that won't allow you to do that? Well, she and I had a very close personal relationship, which was very professional. She always referred to me as Mr. Hill, and I always called her Mrs. Kennedy. But I did attempt to console her as best I could during that period of time after that day and the next four days, including the next year, because...

1:09:47They kept me with her and the children for a year after the assassination. What do you say? Well, she and I really never did talk about the assassination. That was really never brought up. No, that was never discussed. I was prepared to discuss it if she wanted to, but she never did. My goodness. And what do you remember about the events right after Parkland? You left Parkland, and I'm assuming left with her. And I know that President Johnson was sworn in. I believe that very day, wasn't he? Yes, he was. We had a problem regarding Parkland. The agents had taken President Johnson and secured him at Parkland. We wanted Johnson to leave Dallas right then and there, get on Air Force One and fly back to Washington. He refused to leave without Mrs. Kennedy. Mrs. Kennedy refused to leave without the body. There was a law in the state of Texas that said you cannot take a homicide victim out of the state of Texas until there's an autopsy.

1:10:49which meant we had to wait for an autopsy. So this began a heated argument between members of Kennedy's staff, supervisors from the Secret Service, and Texas state officials. Were you involved in that? I was more or less just a bystander listening. Because I'm assuming your supervisor was probably... Yes, he was. So it finally got to the point where we decided we're leaving anyway. We had called in some judges to... see what could be done. We thought because he was president of the United States, we could take him back to the nation's capital since he was president of all the people. But the state law was what it was, and they were actually right. It was their law. But finally, when we decided we were going to go anyway, they said, okay, you can go provide it. You provide somebody with medical experience to remain with the body all the way through the autopsy. I said, we've got the right guy for the job, Admiral George Berkeley. He's the president's physician. he will remain with the body. And so I had obtained a casket at the request of Kenny O'Donnell and Dave Powers, the president's staff, and had that casket delivered to Parkland Hospital. Placed the body of the president in the casket, took it out, put it in the hearse, put Admiral Berkley in the back of the hearse with the body in the casket. Then I said to Mrs. Kenny, let's ride in this car here behind it. And she said, no, I'm going to get in the back with the president's body. So I let her into the back of the hearse and I crawled in after her.

1:12:17So there were three of us in the back of the hearse with the casket. You know, again, she's in shock at this point, but did you, during that period of time, see her at any point? Did it hit her, what had happened? Well, it hit her with what had happened, but she was never sobbing. She was teary-eyed, but then it was obviously that she was in a state of shock. Right. So you get on in, they take the hearse? Well, we went to Love Field where Air Force One was standing by, and we unloaded the casket out of the hearse, took it up the rear steps of the Air Force One to put in the rear door. We got to the rear door, we had a problem. The casket was too wide to go into the aircraft. So we broke the handles off the casket to get it into the aircraft. Placed the casket in the rear aft portion of the aircraft. and Mrs. Kennedy, Admiral Berkeley, and I had assigned an agent, Dick Johnson, to stay with the casket all the way through our trip to Washington, D.C. That had to have been a long, long flight. I mean, it's, in reality, not much of a long flight, but it had to have been a long flight. Were you sitting with Mrs. Kennedy during that time? She was sitting in the rear portion of the aircraft where the casket was located. I was sitting in the forward portion of the aircraft. One of the things that did happen was...

1:13:35Vice President Johnson had conferred with Washington, with the Attorney General, with members of the Supreme Court about whether or not he should take the oath. And they all said he had to take the oath in Dallas before we took off. Oh, wow. So we had to locate a federal judge to administer that oath. They located Sarah Hughes. She came aboard and was about to swear in President Johnson. I got word I was in the forward part of the aircraft. Mrs. Kennedy wanted to see me. So I went to the rear portion, and she reached out her hand, and she simply said, what's going to happen to you now, Mr. Hill? I said, I'll be okay, Mrs. Kennedy. And so she was more concerned about the well-being of myself and other agents at that particular time, which was just the kind of person she was. So then the swearing-in took place, and then we took off for Washington, and it was, like you said, an extremely quiet flight. Nobody said a word all the way back to Washington. So where do you land in Washington? We arrived at Andrews Air Force Base outside of Washington. The decision had been made that the autopsy would take place at Bethesda Naval Hospital since he had been a naval officer. The Navy had placed an ambulance there at Andrews for transporting the casket. They offloaded the casket. The agents offloaded it, placed it in the ambulance. The Attorney General...

1:14:59The president's brother had arrived, so he and Mrs. Kennedy got in the back of the ambulance with the casket. I got in the car immediately behind the ambulance to accompany them to Bethesda Naval Hospital. When we got to Bethesda Naval Hospital, the body of the president was taken to the autopsy room accompanied by Agents Kellerman and Greer and Admiral Berkley, and I, along with Agent Landis, took Mrs. Kennedy to a presidential suite in the towers at Bethesda. So you were with her that whole time. Is she asking questions of people? Because I would think that wife at that point would just want any information that she could possibly get, even though he's no longer alive. Is she asking questions? Is she quiet? What was her disposition at that point? Well, she was still in a state of shock, but then friends began to arrive at the hospital, members of her family and friends. And so we let her be alone with these people in a suite, and we secured the area. And about 2 in the morning, I got a call saying they wanted me in the autopsy room. So I went down to the autopsy room, and they decided that it would best if I was briefed by the doctors doing the autopsy so that I could have a description of exactly the condition of the body, where the...

1:16:14entrance and exit wounds were so that if Mrs. Kennedy ever asked a question, I'd be the one to answer. That's amazing. Amazing. We're talking to Jerry Blaine and Clint Hill. Clint was there that day guarding the First Lady the day that President Kennedy was shot. And he is speaking now after 47 years. He's speaking about the events of that day. And we will be back after this. the interview that we did on Friday with that gentleman who was a member of the Secret Service. And as you can hear, just an incredible interview, an incredible man, an incredible experience. When we come back, we're going to play you the conclusion where he talks about even more details, including what it was like in the years that passed talking to Jackie Kennedy. And there's an emotional part where...

1:17:30He almost started to cry. And this was a very tough guy. Just an amazing perspective. And we'll do it for you when we come back. And you can call us, 570-1949. I hope that you're enjoying hearing this. Even if you did hear it on Friday, hopefully you're enjoying hearing it now again. And if you didn't hear it, we hope you're enjoying it. Hey, I want to remind you, word of the day today is gingerbread. So when you hear that word and you hear me weave that into a sentence between now and 10 a.m. this morning, pair of Lincoln Park tickets for you. Friday, we did an interview with a couple of Secret Service agents. And one of them was the guy that you see in the famous Bruder film that jumps on the trunk of the limousine that John F. Kennedy was in when he was assassinated. He hasn't spoken about it 47 years. And he is now.

1:18:49And we were lucky enough to have him in the studio and give us his eyewitness account of what it was like. And it was just absolutely riveting. And it will stay with me the rest of my life. And I ran right to, as soon as I was done with the interview, I ran right to YouTube and I wanted to see the footage and see what he was talking about. And it was just so cool to do the two simultaneously. Because, I mean... You actually see in that film what he describes. It's history being told to you firsthand. Yeah. Amazing. My dad called at 10.03, and I called him back in the car, and I go, so what did you think? He goes, I could have listened to those guys all day long. Yeah. Yeah, he loves the Kennedy stuff. My dad thought it was fascinating. My dad, by the way, is my biggest critic and probably why I am the way that I am. My dad can hear whatever, and he will, like a coach, like a dad that's a coach, he'll tell somebody that's a good pitcher. A dad will still say to him, you still got it. That guy, you get a 96 and a spelling test, he's like, four points. Why didn't you get the other four points? He goes, it was a great interview. I could hear a little nerves in you. Really? A little nerves in you. And I go, really, Ted? He goes,

1:20:19But maybe it was that you were being respectful. I said, well, yeah, you know, I was. Go watch that. It's my pop. Are you kidding me? It's great. He's made me. My dad has always made me better. Yeah, he's always made me better. But that's my pop, you know, and I'll think about it next time. I'll be like. Don't sound, you know. Don't be nervous. Don't be nervous. And I wasn't. That's hysterical. I mean, I genuinely wasn't. I mean, it was more of just, I guess that's a lie. I guess I was nervous about not being respectful enough. Right. We were all a little awestruck. No. That was, yeah, that's a great word for it. Because those guys, I mean, you're sitting there looking at him, you're like, this is a history book I'm looking at right now. For sure. It's a history book. This guy had JFK's blood on him, you know. Crazy. Incredible. So crazy. Here is the conclusion of the interview. On the line with us is M1 Steve-O. What did you want to say, Steve-O? Hey, Mikey. Hi. Thank you. About a year after the president was assassinated, I was 11 at the time, my dad got to meet Robert Kennedy and I got to go with him. And we actually got to sit quietly alone with him and talk for a few minutes. My dad, of course, brought up, you know, his brother being shot and all.

1:21:37The three of us sat there and just started crying. And I hadn't thought about this for probably, you know, a long, long time except for occasional conversation. And I'm driving back to my home, and I just started bawling like a baby. Yeah. Just crying. Listen, I'm 40 years old, and I'm not a conspiracy theorist. In fact, I think that those folks are full of baloney. And so I've only had a very peripheral. interest in the events of that day. But hearing it from somebody that was there is so powerful, so powerful, no matter who you are. Clint hasn't spoken about it for 47 years, and now after 47 years is able to. And I don't want to assume that that's the deal, Mr. Hill. Why now? Well, I'm not getting any younger, for one thing. And when Jerry came to me with this proposal. I was very apprehensive. I'd been offered the chance to write books. I'd been offered the chance to contribute to books. I had talked to 60 Minutes, National Geographic, and Larry King, but never said anything in depth. It was strictly kind of puffery stuff. And so when he came and said he was going to write this book, I told him I would be willing to consider it if, one, there was no gossip.

1:23:08No salacious material. And that it was strictly factual based on the agent's interviews and or documentation. And then I said, provided I could check it for facts before I went to the publisher, then I'd contribute. And he agreed to that. God bless you. That's cool. So the two of you guys have known each other for many years. And do you do you both believe that it was a lone gunman? Absolutely. You do, Jerry. Yes. I always have, too. I mean, all I know of it is what I know of it, but I always have, too. And what leads you to believe that? Okay, let me—we talked before about the magic bullet, the one allegedly that went through the president and hit the governor. There were two agents that were not interviewed by the Warren Commission. One was the driver of the follow-up car, Sam Kinney, whose responsibility was to keep the distance between the two cars four to five feet apart and to keep track of what was going on in the presidential car. The gentleman next to him was the shift leader, Emery Roberts.

1:24:25Both of those men saw all three bullets find their mark. So they saw the bullets hit. Clint saw the first one, Clint took off running. The second one, they saw Governor Connolly get hit. The third one, they saw the president, the fatal wound that went through. There is another indicator on this, too, that... Three gentlemen from the book depository were standing below where Oswald was in the book depository. They did not have flooring. They had planking along that area. And as they were standing there, they heard the shot and dust and dirt fell down from the floor up above, and they heard a clink of the empty casing hit the floor. The second shot. went off. Same thing, dust and dirt fell, the casing hit the floor, and the third shot, the same thing, and the casing hit the floor. The detectives went up later on, recovered the casings, took pictures of where they were, and Lee Harvey Oswald took the rifle and set it over by the back exit of the book depository.

1:25:49Clint, you were there, and obviously we've been talking for the last hour about how you were assigned to Mrs. Kennedy. From your perspective, there's no doubt in your mind, correct? None whatsoever. In fact, speaking of the rifle that they found, they determined that that particular rifle was the rifle that fired the shots. That particular rifle had been ordered through a mail order house by somebody by the name of Hiddell, H-I-D-E-L-L. Lee Harvey Oswald used that alias to obtain mail, and so they knew that he was the person who had that rifle. He worked in the school book depository and had access to that area. There's no question in my mind, but he was the shooter. It's been 47 years. Are there periods of time that go by where you don't think about it, or is it something that you actually do genuinely think about? Every single day. Every day I think about it. I still have the image of the president lying on Mrs. Kennedy's lap in the back of that car, and that'll never go away. I was going to ask that question, but I didn't. I decided that I wasn't going to ask, and the reason that I wasn't was because I thought to myself, well, he's going to say that there were too many powerful images that day that he couldn't narrow it down to one. But can you?

1:27:16Well, that is the image that I have. That's it? Is the president lying in Mrs. Kennedy's lap. Upper right portion of his head exposed, a large gaping hole in that upper right rear area, most of the brain matter missing, and his eyes fixed. That is the image I have in my brain. And again, you remember each shot that was fired. Did you, when the final shot, or excuse me, the fatal shot happened, I can't recall what you said that your eyes were fixed on when the fatal shot happened. When the fatal shot happened, I was trying to get on the car. And when it hit, I was just close enough to the car so that the material that came out of his skull spewed forth out over myself and the area of the trunk of the car. And about that time is when Mrs. Kennedy came up out of the seat just after the third shot. So you explained sort of...

1:28:16how that day unfolded, the day ended with you, with Mrs. Kennedy, where family is starting to come and friends are starting to come to comfort her. And when were you allowed to go home and where did you call home? Was D.C. home? I lived in Arlington, Virginia at that time. I remained at Bethesda Naval Hospital. The body was placed in a new casket that had been obtained by members of his staff because the old casket, as I said, had been damaged when we tried to put it on Air Force One. His valet had brought clothing from the White House to dress him in. About 4 o'clock in the morning, we loaded the casket onto the amulets and drove to the White House. We arrived at the north. west gate of the White House, and they had arranged for an honor guard of U.S. Marines to meet us there. They escorted the president's body up to the north portico, removed the body in the casket from the ambulance, cleared it into the White House, and placed it in the east room of the White House on a catapult that was similar to the one that had been used by Abraham Lincoln in 1865. My goodness. My goodness. So is it at that point,

1:29:37that you are relieved of duty? I mean, at some point you've got to go home, and you've got to go home at some point. Well, after Mrs. Kennedy went up to the second floor, which is the residence where the president and the family lives in the White House, about 6 a.m. I had the opportunity to go to my home where I shaved, showered, my wife prepared me some breakfast, and I returned to the White House. You never slept. Not until that next night. I got about two or three hours of sleep that night. But there was so much to do and so few people to do it that I didn't have the opportunity. Do you recall whether or not your wife asked you questions or did you say, I don't want to talk about it? Nothing was said. I had two sons. They didn't ask any questions. She didn't ask any questions. And I never have discussed it with any of them. I would say almost of all the things that you've said this morning, that may be the most powerful. 47 years you've never spoke to your wife or your children about the events of that day. We've never talked about it. Six in the morning you get home. Do you remember taking a shower? Showered and shaved and had a little bit to eat, put on some clean clothes, and went back to the White House because there was too much to do that day.

1:30:55Was your clothing considered evidence? Was it something that you could not dispose of, or was it something that you had the inclination to throw away? Well, my coat that I had placed over the president's head and body was soaked in blood, and I didn't know where it was. It was subsequently returned to me at some time later, and I had it burned. My goodness. What about your tie, your shirt, your... That was just destroyed. I just disposed of all of it. Disposed of it. We're talking to Jerry Blaine and to Clint Hill, two Secret Service agents that have been friends for a long time. And it's been a real pleasure talking to you guys and hearing about the events of that day and what the events of that day were all about. You know, everybody remembers those moments. You know, if you were alive that day.

1:31:58Everybody remembers what they were doing at the time that they heard about it. And Jerry, we haven't asked you. How did you hear about it? How did you first hear about it? Well, I went home after the Tampa advance, and my wife had a few things for me to take care of. And then I worked midnights, and we caught a plane to Fort Worth. And then flew to Austin. I'd been in bed about probably five minutes when I heard the word. Our shift leader came in and said the boss has been hit. And so we went to the Air Force base and took a strategic air command fuel plane back to Washington, D.C. And the entire Air Force was on radio silence. So we had no news on what was happening. Not a word was said. all the way back, and when we arrived in Andrews Air Force Base, we were informed the president was dead. Clint Hill, after 47 years, has decided to talk about the details of that day, and I asked him earlier, why now? And he said, you know, he's not getting any younger, and it's something that you feel that you can talk about now.

1:33:21You've only talked about it in somewhat vague terms up until this point. And you said that there's not a day that goes by that you don't think about it, that you don't think about the events of that day. Let me ask you this. What do you think that you will take from the relationship with Mrs. Kennedy? It was a professional relationship, but it was also, it had to be a very... close relationship because of the bond that you shared that day. What are your memories of her? What do you take away as memories of her? Well, some extremely happy times, but some extremely sad times because I was there when John Jr. was born. I was there when Patrick Bouvier was born, and I was with her when he died. I was there with her when her husband was killed. So it's an emotional tie that we had between the two of us.

1:34:20that lasts forever and i was there i attended her burial service at national at arlington national cemetery in 1994. did you keep in any contact with uh john jr up until the time of his death not really i had very limited contact i was kept with mrs kennedy and the children for one year after the assassination and left New York where she was resigning at the time in November of 1964 and was returned to the White House detail assigned to President Johnson. Wow. Well, guys, I can't thank you enough for coming in and talking about this. It's just, wow, I think for all of us, it's just been really... emotional, but also extremely compelling. One of the best interviews I've ever done in 23 years of interviewing guys. It's one of the best, and certainly one of the most memorable. Jerry Blaine and Clint Hill, fellas, thank you so much for not only your service, but for coming in and for your service to the country and what you've done. We appreciate it very much. Well, thank you for allowing us to be here. Absolutely. Thank you. Thank you.

1:35:35For those of you that didn't hear that interview on Friday, I hope that you enjoyed getting to hear that. It was really special for us, man. I mean, just really, really an experience that I'll never forget. And like L.O.B. said, a piece of history being told right in front of us. And he hadn't talked about it for 47 years. And so it was really incredible. We just saw on the TV that they had breaking news that Don Meredith. Fanny Don. Dandy Don has passed away. Dandy Don Meredith. Former Dallas Cowboy quarterback. Legend in that town. I think he used to be a part of Monday Night Football. Oh, yeah. Legend. He threw for over 17,000 yards, 111 touchdowns. Yep. And Monday Night Football, he used to sing, turn out the lights. Party's over. Party's over. He's a good dude. He had a brain hemorrhage. Passed away. He was 72. Ugh. Something happened in golf yesterday. Never been done. Woodsy calls it four of the raddest holes he's ever seen in golf. We'll tell you about it next. Woodsy called it the four raddest holes in golf he's ever seen. It's really cool. And he's going to tell you all about it. And Woods on Sports coming up here in just a minute. You're not going to want to miss it, so make sure you're here. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40. Woodsy is our sports guy.

1:37:16And he is 35. Lauren O'Brien, L-O-B, as we call her. She's 30. She's our assistant producer. Sienna's our news girl, 25. Jay is our producer. He's 47. And Will is our phone screener today. It's Will. It's Will. How old is Will? How old are you, Will? 23. Youngster. That's right. Oh, hey. Youth. Word of the day is gingerbread. So when I use that, between now and 10, caller 9 gets Lincoln Park tickets. So get ready. Let's do a mashup Monday thing. Give you some cool mashups. Nirvana and the Smashing Pumpkins. That sounds awesome. I'm not in on it. You don't like it? It's kind of a reach. It sounds like too much. It's kind of a reach. Too much? Yeah. It seems like something if you saw it live, you'd just go nuts. You think? Yeah. I think so. If you're into that kind of sound. I got one you might like later, Woodsy. Later?

1:38:42Well, you're a Kings of Leon fan. I am a Kings of Leon fan. Oasis and Green Day. Really? Already? I don't like that intro. Same chord progression in both songs. This is good. I don't like that sound. I don't know that sound either. Like, is someone shaking one of those, like, sticks in the rain sticks? Well, it's supposed to be that today is gonna be the day that, yeah. What is... It's gonna be whispering. Do you hear that? It's like little rats scurrying around the studio. Snake. Out on that one? No, in. I like that one. Dude, I knew that, that they used the same chords for that song, for both songs. How about Snow Patrol and The Police? That's good. Cool. That's very cool. It's kind of better than the original Snow Patrol song. I kind of like it. I know. Yeah, I would listen to that. I know. That's good. That's cool.

1:41:26Love mashups. That's pretty sick. Journey and Kings of Leon. I'm like a little kid right now. I'm excited. It sounds like it was written for that. I like it. It's so crazy. If nobody had ever heard Journey's song, they would be like, this is a legit song. That's a good tune. I think he has one of the coolest voices in rock today. Very different. It's giving chills. They slowed it way down. Yeah. I wonder if it's a live performance and they just slowed it down. That's pretty cool, dude. That's cool. Yeah. That's rad. Wish I knew how to do that. I know. Mash stuff up. I know. You'd be really patient, I think. Yeah. You've got to have an ear for it, too. Yeah. You've got to know, these kind of would go together. Otherwise, you'd waste a lot of time. Yeah, you could. Let's do some of this. A little Woods on Sports. Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center.

1:43:50It was not a good day for Charger fans yesterday. We talked about it in the very open. And if you didn't hear, they lost 28-13. A couple of mistakes early really set the tone for the game. You can listen. You can hear it in Phillip Rivers' voice. He was not happy. Cut one. Yeah, it was much like some of our games earlier in the year. When you put yourself in that position, it's hard. The Raiders were playing well today. Just what we knew to expect. That's what we expected. A tough game. And when you get behind 14-0, you make it even tougher. Still love him. Oh, yeah. For sure. They are who we thought they were. Yeah. Listen, they came out and manhandled. Yeah, they pushed the line around, and it was unfortunate because the Chargers had been playing very well. They had won four in a row, hadn't lost in December in years or whatever, and now may not make the playoffs. May not make the playoffs. No, boy. Yeah. I'm going to run through the NFL scores for you real quick, then I'm going to tell you about the best four holes of golf I watched. Probably in my whole life. It was riveting. I want to know. Okay. The Eagles over the Texans, we talked about that. That was last week, 34-24. The Browns beat the Dolphins 13-10. Chad Henney did not have a good day for three picks, which is never good. LLB's guy, Aaron Rodgers, 34-16 over the Niners through three touchdowns. Probably wasn't in your lineup. Yeah, 37 points. It's on the bench probably. Nope.

1:45:08Oh, you got it? Okay, you did. Good for you, finally. The Chiefs over the Broncos, 10-6. Matt Castle threw for 196 in a touchdown. The Vikings, 38. Over the Bills, 38-14. That new coach for the Vikings is 2-0 since he started, so I'm thinking they really like playing for that guy. And Fabry got knocked out of the game. He did, and he got hit. Hard. Hard, hard. From behind. He's getting killed. Maybe he's there a time. Maybe hang him up. The Bears 24-20 over the Lions. The Jaguars over the Titans 17-6. The Giants 31. The Redskins 7. The Redskins are one of the worst looking football teams I've ever laid eyes on. And they're 5-7. They should be 0-12. They should be renamed the Deadskins officially. Albert Hainsworth didn't play because he was sick. He's such a Sally. I mean, I wouldn't tell him that to his face because he'd rip my throat out. But the Saints, 34. The Bengals, 30. The Bengals are also one of the worst football teams I've ever seen. Absolutely terrible. The Falcons, 28. The Buccaneers, 24. Raiders, 28. Chargers, 13. The Seahawks, 31-14 over the Panthers. The Rams, 19-6 over the Cards.

1:46:13The Dallas Cowboys shocked the Indianapolis Colts in overtime, 38-35. That's pretty nuts. And the Steelers in just a defensive bruiser game, 13-10 over the Ravens, those two. And you know what? It only gets better. Tonight, Jets 9-2 against the Patriots, 9-2 at New England. Listen to Rex Ryan. He sounds real, real fired up. Cut to. Oh, we're ready. Yep, we're ready to play. There's no doubt. We know New England is. You know, I know they. They say that we're a great team and I see the sarcasm. Well, they're going to find out if we're a great team or not. I can tell you that much. Oh, wow. I can't wait. I like to watch Mark Sanchez play football. What about you, Woods? I do not like to watch Mark Sanchez play football. I like both of them. Anyway, I got to tell you about this golf match yesterday. It was the Chevron Challenge. It's basically Tiger Woods tournament. And Graham McDowell was trailing Tiger Woods. by four strokes starting the day. Tiger Woods, with a three or more stroke lead on Sunday, has never lost a tournament. Ever. Oh, wow. Ever. Graham McDowell came and beat this guy, and he holed some of the greatest clutch putts, hit one of the greatest clutch bogeys that you've ever seen to keep him right in it. It was absolutely...

1:47:32Riveting golf. I should have texted you. Yeah, yeah. I forgot to. I watched it. Oh, it was amazing. But anyway, Graham McDowell came back and beat Tiger. Tiger still didn't win this year. 388 days between victories for Tiger Woods, I do believe, which is the longest of his career. Here's Graham McDowell. Cut three. I'm just very proud of myself the way I've applied myself the last six weeks. Me too. You know, it would have been pretty easy just to kick back and, you know, the great things I've achieved this year. But to finish as strong as I have. Had to beat Tigger. To win twice. I'm very proud of myself, though. He's great. Won the U.S. Open. He is absolutely phenomenal. He's jumped up to number seven in the world from number 39 earlier in the year. He's great. Just a really good dude. Man, he had Tiger working overtime yesterday. That's Woods on Sports. Zuckerberg is the dude that owns Facebook. And Facebook's changing. Weird. In case you didn't know. It's evolving is what we like to call it. You like to say it's evolving, Mark? Uh-huh. Mark, you are so rich now. I'm so smart. You are smart. Really smart. You are. Do I intimidate you? A bit because, you know, I'm not really sure what you're capable of because you're so smart. I get that a lot. So what are the changes coming? Coming to your profile page. Whether you like it or not. I don't want it. It's big changes. Big changes.

1:48:58We'll have Zuckerberg tell you himself what these changes are. Some people, it's already affected him. And since everybody in the world is on Facebook, including like my parents, we'll tell you about what they are next. It's an argument that has gone on forever. Woods and L.O.B. And Sienna. No, Sienna didn't say it. I'm half, but I was seeing exactly where Mike was coming from. On those certain pictures, yes. Yes, okay. You pick the best picture somebody's ever taken, then yes. I will agree with you there.

1:50:22Dude, I showed you a bunch of pictures. There are good and bad pictures of a lot of people. You showed me three. We're talking about Christina Aguilera. Yeah, the question is, Christina Aguilera, hot or not? Repulsive. Not repulsive. Repulsive. Another word he used was disgusting. I threw that out there first. She's so gold. Disgusting. Just because she's... Latino, you feel you need to stick up for her. I'm just saying she's not attractive to me. That's it. I mean, listen, if her name was Christina Smith, I would not. You'd probably think she was gross. Of course I would. She's not attractive. She is hot. She's so gross. Slutty looking. Jay, nothing that you say about who's hot bears any weight around here anymore. Sally Field is hot. Stop it. Dabney Coleman is a handsome man. Even though that's a man. That's a man. I thought. No, listen. You can find crummy pictures of her. Oh, absolutely you can. Look at that classy broad. Hey, Dad, it's me, Luke.

1:51:25This is my girlfriend, Christina. You'd go, oh, Luke, you're dating a whore. Get that whore out of my house. Oh, my God. I would say it looks like she's from a Girls Gone Wild video. Yeah, you have a whore for a girlfriend. She was doing a bit. He's showing pictures of Christina Aguilera in the dirty, from the dirty days. And he was with an album called Dirty. Yeah. Filthy. It was a bit. Yeah, it was the thing, and that's what she was going for. But there are also pictures of Christina Aguilera where she's beautiful. Yes, you can polish a turd from time to time. Stop it. Turds can be polished. A whole lot of makeup in Photoshop goes a long way. So what you're saying is, and I don't want to cast dispersions, but this is the rap on this person. Susan Boyle was known for being a great singer, but she was not a very good-looking, attractive lady. Right. that woman, Susan Boyle, are pretty much the same and that they've polished up a turd. Who said that?

1:52:29You said you can polish up a turd. You can polish a turd. Okay, so would you put Christina, you're saying- No, she's better looking than Susan Boyle. But she's still disgusting. But I'd make out with a dude before I'd make out with Susan Boyle. Well, you would make out with a dude before you'd make out with somebody that's disgusting. You would make out with Christina Aguilera in a second. Like I said at the break, I mean, I'd close it, but I'd be like, see ya. It wouldn't be one of the ones that'd be like, hey mom. This is Christina, my new old lady. My mom would be like, oh, wow. A guy that's talking about bringing a classy girl home to mom just said, hey, mom, this is my new old lady. This is my new girlfriend, Christina. My mom would go, get that hooker out of my house. Something stinks in here, and I think it's her. If you brought home the dirty version. There you go. But you know there's other versions. She's a mom now. Right. Man, just brutal on the Christina Aguilera. 570-1949. It's because she's Latino. Well, it all started because I said I lost respect for my boyfriend, Matt Commerce, BFMC, when he said he thought she was hot. Good boy, Matt. Good boy, son. Good boy there, Matt. Depending on what version of Christina Aguilera we're talking about, I'd say, listen.

1:53:52She could be described as beautiful. By you. Yeah. She's beautiful no matter what they say. Words aren't going to bring her down. Yeah. That's the thing. Yeah. I agree with those lyrics and her 100%. Oh, my God. Let me tell you. You guys are so overdramatic. As a crew, we have had this debate about Christina Aguilera. Forever. Anytime. Plus, I can't stand her music, which probably makes me not like her. That's what it is. I don't like her singing at all. She can sing. Incredible singer. I'm just not a fan of it. So is Liberace, but I don't throw the records out of my car. See, I don't know that I would describe Liberace as one of the greatest singers. Freddie Mercury, but I don't listen to a lot of Queen. But the guy can sing. That's great pipes. I'm not into her music, but. Oh, boy. So L.O.B., you think that this is bad singing? No, she's a very good singer, but you sometimes like the tone of somebody's voice and you don't like the tone of other people's voices. I really just don't care for the tone of the voice. Yeah, I never dug that dude that sang.

1:55:12You're beautiful. Oh, James Blunt. Exactly. Couldn't have been more out on somebody. Everybody oversold. They're like, Kermit the Frog. This guy's the next Jeff Buckley. He's the next great singer. I went and bought the CD Unheard and was like, oh yeah, give it to me. I put it in. I go, oh boy, what is that? You're beautiful. Terrible. I don't like the effects. He is Kermit the Frog. Yeah. She has an effortless voice. I mean, it just comes out so nice. She can belt. I'll give her that. Big changes to Facebook, we'll tell you in a second. Clowns. And on the line, M1 Uppy from Scripps Ranch. What was the word of the day? Gingerbread. That is correct. Got a pair of Lincoln Park tickets and a Mikey Show t-shirt, so congratulations to you. Thank you very much. You guys are awesome. All right, hang on the line. Thanks.

1:56:11Thank you. Let's see. What's going on in the news, Sienna? Well, the Escondido bomb factory suspect, 54-year-old George Jekobek. He was in court on Friday, and he has now been indicted on federal charges. He's scheduled to make his first appearance in San Diego this week in court, so pretty crazy. I mean, Wood said during commercials that that story here, local story, was the top story on Yahoo. Also, we've heard a lot about the... The publicist from Hollywood that was shot a couple weeks ago in her car after leaving a red carpet. Well, there was a person of interest that the police confronted last week. And when the police confronted him, he shot himself right then and there. Well, that person's weapon was no match for her killing. I would think he got rid of it. Yeah, I think he'd get rid of it. I would think he would get rid of the murder weapon if it was him. Well, they're saying that they've done charges and it says gun used by person of interest doesn't match weapon used in chasing killing. That makes sense to me. He didn't kill himself because he's innocent. LLB made a good point too. She said it could be that he was guilty of something else. He saw the cops come and got scared and freaked out. Because the cops didn't even come to arrest him. They just came to question him and he didn't even give him a chance. Wow.

1:57:19Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, there's a couple of big signings this weekend over the weekend in, did I just say weekend twice? In Major League Baseball. Jason Worth signed. He left the Phillies to sign with one of the worst teams in baseball, the Washington Nationals. But I think what's going to help Jason Worth is the seven-year, $126 million contract that he got. Why every dad isn't out throwing baseballs to his kid in the backyard is beyond me. It's guaranteed money. Seven years, 126. And the New York Yankees have signed Derek Jeter, ending the speculation that he will play somewhere else. A three-year deal of $51 million is the minimum. $65 million is the max. Great. Yeah. He's back. A little overpaid. Last night on 60 Minutes. Mark Zuckerberg described the new Facebook profile look we're all going to be having. It's great to have you guys in here, so thank you. Every user's profile page. For example, this is Mark's old page filled with scrapbook-like entries in no order of importance, like Andy Samberg plays me on Saturday Night Live. You have to dig around to get any real sense of who Mark is as a person.

1:58:38This is Mark's new page, which is in effect the Mark Zuckerberg story or how he wants his friends to see him. In other words, the first thing you see is where he went to school, all that kind of stuff. You can put the things that are most important to you on the top. Right there. Bio information is right up top with the kind of details he'd tell you if you met him, say, at a bar. What's that? That's the part that I like. You have to accept the person that sends you a friend request. So don't they already know enough about you? He doesn't have any friends. He's a nerd. He's maxed out. I tried to add him. You don't have to. You don't have to. It could be somebody from your past, like from school or whatever. And you look at their thing. I don't think there's anything bad about me getting to know stuff about you that I don't know. Yeah, but it's all laid out as now the first thing instead of like the funny little quips are on there, which I find to be more entertaining than your biographical information. I got to go digging. And I do. Like when I if I go on someone's page, I go into the info and I start reading about them. And a lot of times I know them, but I don't know that. Yeah. I like that they put it up front. I don't have an issue with it. You know, I mean, what's the alternative that you see?

2:00:01their stupid status up there. You see that they just ate eight pounds of grapes to feel really full. I'm just like, the older I get, the harder it is for me to learn these new things. And I'm used to the way it is. Why do they have to change it? They switched it six months ago, didn't they? No, but not the layout of the wall. We all cried about that then, and now we're like, all right, we finally got it where we like it. L.O.B. Gone. Would you describe yourself as a person that... is resistant to change you like things to stay the way they are once they're that way yeah yeah and that's okay but you know i should have the option yeah and go i don't want mine to change right when it comes to technology like i like a change of scenery and all that stuff but when it comes to technology oh now i've got it figured out i got it mastered i can do this really quickly oh oh never mind that those are all useless skills now i'm fine with any change long as it's better I'm fine with it as long as it's optional. I'm like LLB. Facebook and I spend all of my time there. I mean, here are my friends. He does have a very peculiar voice. He really does. He sure does. It's a sort of voice that you do not hear every day. It's something I developed as a tool to... You are a tool. It's an app. It's an app. It's a voice app. Yeah, my voice is an app that I downloaded for 99 cents on iTunes. Oh my god.

2:01:21Which was really cool because there's so many times when I've thought to myself, how can I get a voice, but get a voice wirelessly and instantly? How can I look even nerdier than I already am? I know. The voice. I grew up in New York and now I live in California. Those really kind of basic important things. Under the bio, his latest photos posted by him or his friends. That's kind of cool too. So right under the stuff you like, boom, pictures right away. Like a running ticker tape of his life. Every day, a staggering 100 million photos are uploaded onto the site. Every day. That's insane. 100 million pictures are put up on Facebook. 100 million. That's insanity. A day. How many people in this country? More than that? Less than that? Less than that. Less than that? Yeah. I don't know. I don't even want to give a guess. That's a lot of pics. It's a lot of pics. And it's a world. Facebook's global, you know? Yeah. Here, Mark Zuckerberg describes a little bit more about your new profile page, and I just thought it was funny hearing the kinds of things Mark's up to during the day. Oh, dear. You can now list the important people in your life. Mom, dad, sister, sister, sister. Mistress, mistress, mistress. According to.

2:02:52Statistics that Sienna gave out last week, 20% of divorces in America are Facebook related. True story. Oh boy. Girlfriend, another new feature pulls up a history of your relationship with any of your Facebook friends. You can see all the things that you have in common with that person. And it's just like, it gives you this amazing connection with that person in a way that the current... L.O.B. and I both like mayonnaise sandwiches. The current version of the profile that we have today just doesn't do. I figured it wasn't giving enough personal information and voyeuristic characteristics as it was. So I figured, put everything out there. Don't leave any anonymity. Don't leave anything to the imagination. Just put it out there. I wanted to be able to provide advertisers with enough information about our users that if they wanted to, they could sell that to other corporations for millions of dollars. And I also got to thinking to myself, How can I exploit each and every one of the 345 million users that we have and take all their personal private information and sell it to third parties? Oh, my God. How are you talking? Mission accomplished. Mark.

2:04:04Excuse me, Mark. This is Other Mark. Yeah, Mark. It's over 500 million users. I just wanted to put that out there. Other Mark. What did I say? You said 345 million. It's now up to 500 million. Yeah, over that. Yeah, so we're over half a billion people. That's a lot of people. Exactly. The goal is more Facebook users than there are people in the world. Yeah, we're hoping, and we've done some projections of where we should be by 2015. In the planet Earth, there are 17 billion people. But by 2015, there should be 20 billion Facebook users. So that would be great. That would be great. Next year, by the way, we're doing our first Facebook on Mars. No. No. Venus. Venus, sorry. Mars was too. It seemed like the very likely candidate. Right. So we thought Venus because whoever goes to Venus. And then we were like, there's so many opportunities here for us to exploit Venetians. Yeah. So we're going to sell the Venetians information to third party customers that can then take them and they'll get spam email on Venus. From places like...

2:05:14Pluto and maybe Jupiter. Or Starbucks. Yeah. Imagine his girlfriend. She's probably like, babe, I get it. I get it. Give me your credit card. Yeah, give me the credit card and get out of my face. Babe, I just got a bill from Nordies for $72 million. Now, I don't have a problem paying it. Still, it's a lot of money. I stalked his Facebook page, and they gave out king-sized candy bars to all the kids on Halloween. Did they really? The Zuckerbergs? Yeah, well, him and his girlfriend, Priscilla Chan, they lived together, and they gave out the big ones. Wow, you really know a lot. Good Lord, you're a stalker. I saw the movie The Social Network, and I was like, I want to be friends with him. So I did all this stalking. I want to make out with him. Can you imagine Mark Zuckerberg has girls like L.O.B. creeping around his cage? Wouldn't be that hundred grand hanging out of his pocket, would it? If he was single, he'd be like, you know what? I've tried Megan Fox, but I'm not really into it. I'm not into it. I had it once, twice. She's not up to the intellectual capability, so therefore I don't even see her looks.

2:06:26Whatsoever. What I first see is a brain and then the rest follows. Honestly, she's invisible to me. I've created sort of a neuro human being. Like sort of a girl online that is everything to my specifications. Like weird science. Yeah. And I'm hoping that by 2015, all of our users will be able to have a sort of, you know, online experience where you can have any girl that you want, any way that you want. It's pretty rad. Go on, Mark. Fembot. Yeah, like a fembot. Like a fembot. Yeah, she'll shoot bullets from her breasts. Or she can save data in her nipples. Either way. Either way, we're looking at about two gigabytes per nipple, which right now our engineers say is pretty effective. It's doable. It's very doable. Now, by 2015, each nipple will be up to about four gigabytes, but...

2:07:24As we start to roll this out in the new quarter, each nipple will be at least two gigabytes. That will be Q3, I believe, of 2015. Q3, we're projecting... Nipple talk. Are you telling me, Mark, that by the third quarter, each nipple could be up to three and a half gigabytes? Is that what you're saying? That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm really excited that you can comprehend this. I don't meet a lot of reporters that can comprehend anything I ever say. Well, what you're saying is so extraordinary. Exactly. That I think that most other companies are going to try to follow suit. There's no way that anyone could keep up with my intelligence and the intelligence we have at Facebook. So that's not really a concern. What about your girlfriend, Jackie Chan? Her name's Priscilla Chan. Oh, okay. My bad. Does she keep up with you? She has a very high capacity, intelligence-wise. She's Asian, right? She did not get a 1600 on her SATs. I did, but she's a very smart girl. I was the first person ever to get 1625, and it only goes up to 1600. Wouldn't surprise me. I have a virtual brain. It's wireless. I don't have a real brain.

2:08:44Are we still on television? I've never said that out loud, but I don't actually have a real brain. By 2015, I'll rule Earth. Yes. What are you worth, Mark? $975 quadrillion. Wow. That's a lot of scratch. Goodbye, Earth. Among us, you'll still get the news. Mark just ate an extremely spicy pepper and went to the Harry Potter amusement park with his dad. Weird. There's lots more graphics under what's important to you. Mark likes lady books, nerds, nerd things. D&D. D&D. Being a nerd. Talking with nerds. Being filthy rich. Gaga and epic movies. And finally there's a sports section. He plays tennis and likes the Yankees. Yeah! Get them zucked. I'm going to buy the Yankees nuts. Yeah. I'd love it. I'm going to buy them three times just for fun. I would love it. I would love it. I would love it. There's something sitting in your pantry right now that's being recalled, and we'll tell you what it is next. That's great. Can't you just smell a Christmas tree? And some hot cocoa.

2:10:42Smell of the fireplace. Family over, your brother going... Is that a Christmas bit? At your house? Is that a Christmas bit? Your brother does? Michael Buble has a hard time finding girls. I bet it's real tough. Yeah. I bet he's on Match.com all the time just trying to find somebody. Woods is not a Christmas music guy. I love it. It makes me sad. I don't know why. This is a sad song. Yeah, it makes me like blow my head off. Really? Yeah. That's beautiful. Not because it sucks, because it's sad. I don't think it's sad.

2:11:57This song is definitely sad. Yes. My wife said that her grandfather, he died at 89 years old. Guy was on the shores of France during World War II. Incredible stories. Met her grandmother in France. She was French. Rebecca, you know, comes from this French lineage. Met her just, you know, soldier, American soldier. Meets a French woman. Marries her, has a baby. And he said that his favorite song was this one because he was on a boat coming back to America and it took forever. Yeah. It took forever to get back to the States. I bet. And he said that they, to kind of boost morale with the soldiers, they would play Christmas music over the loudspeakers. And he remembers hearing this song and thinking to himself, soon I will be back in the United States of America. Wow. I'll be home for Christmas.

2:13:25Maybe Michael Buble can't grow a full beard. I can't. I bet he can't imitate Mark Zuckerberg. I bet he couldn't do Hoyle if he had to. If he had to. All he has in life is a great voice, great looks, and he's about six foot two. Yep. That's it. That's it. That's it. Besides that, though. He's not my cup of tea. Buble? No. I don't think he's everyone's cup of tea. He looks like that guy Jake from 16 Candles. What are you talking about? Jake Ryan. He does? Michael Buble? Kind of. Yeah, dude. He's average looking. Are you sure you're not thinking of Abe Vigoda? It's the pipes that make him seem better looking. LLB's like, he's the guy from Fish, right? She likes her make a little darker. He played latke on Taxi. Andy Kaufman.

2:14:26Michael Bubble. Michael Bublé. Here, look, L.O.B. I know what he looks like. He looks like Mike Leach, the coach of the Texas Tech. You don't think that this guy looks like that dude Jake from 16 Candles? No. He looks more like John Mayer to me. He's a sharp guy. Michael Bublé? He's not pissed when he wakes up in the morning. I was thinking of Josh Groban. Yeah, dude, yeah. That guy's sharp. That's a good picture. That guy's sharp. Michael Buble has a real tough time getting the ladies. I didn't know he's that sharp. That's a nice picture. I don't think he looks like that normally. For me, though, it's like looking in a mirror. Just like looking in a mirror. If the mirror were distorted in a carnival. It's just like looking in a mirror. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-B. Sienna can't be with us right now because she just had a baby and she's pumping. That makes my mouth water. It's because you have big jugs. Jay plays the sound effects during this song. Ooh, with the lady. There you go. 570-1949 is the number. You can text us to 949mikey at gmail.com.

2:16:59The Sutter Company has recalled cans of chicken salad branded as Bumblebee. Oh. Mm-hmm. They package it in Illinois. And then they send it out to stores, restaurants, and stuff like that. I like chicken salad. I love chicken salad. Love chicken salad. 72,000 pounds have been recalled. And 41,000 pounds of chicken tamales have been recalled. Mikey. From Diana's Mexican food products. You just call it Diana's food products. Diana's comida. I am not a big, you know, I'm not a big tamale guy. No. It's a big Christmas and New Year's thing. Is it really? Dude, to me. Looks like a leprechaun? Yep. Sorry.

2:18:05It's that shredded beef inside of cornmeal. Gosh, it's good. It's so grody. I love it. I can eat it, but I'm like, because people, you're right, people freak out. Flip out. They're like, dude, I got the best tamales. You're like, okay, okay, I'll eat one. Even the best tamales to me aren't that good. They make them for me with chicken in them? There's a guy that just comes by my house and drops them off. I mean, they're okay. What's the thing around them? Corn husk or meal? Yeah, it's cornmeal. You don't eat that. Yeah, you do. Oh, no, no, no. You don't eat that thing, right? Cornhus. Why do they put it in there? To hold it together? To hold it together. Gross. It's so good. They are gross. Cheese melted. A lot better you can do. You can do a burrito. It's better than that. Eat a burrito. Taco's better. Some people will put black olives in them. It's disgusting. It's disgusting, dude. But I will slay me some menu, though. That's filthy. That's crazy. Can't get enough of it. I like hot tamales. Candy. Yes. Love hot tamales. Candy. Candy. I just said. Candy. Candy. Woods and I were at a restaurant. We heard a couple of doctors yucking it up about patients. Yeah. Scared me. Me too. Like, what do you mean by that? Like talking about their patients? Yes. No. About their bodies. Their ailments. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And like one guy, we heard it to where we stopped. Both of us, we looked at each other and we were like.

2:19:30Did he just? Like he was like, oh, you should see this guy's black tongue. Yeah. I met this lady. She had to get a C-section. And I'm looking at Mikey. I'm like, dude, no. Isn't that against the code of ethics? Yes. The Hippocratic Oath. The Hippocratic Oath. I was going to say the Hippocritical Oath. The Hippopotamus Oath. Yeah. You're supposed to not. You're supposed to just do good. Well, maybe they can just talk to themselves. They're not supposed to talk to you. I don't think they should. They shouldn't talk to civilians, you mean? Yeah, but what if I'm sitting there and they're talking about me? We heard it. What if they were like, hey, what if the fans heard, hey, we had Mikey in here from the Mikey show? That guy's cholesterol is through the freaking roof. They'd be like, Mikey. They probably weren't mentioning names. You didn't know who they were talking. Still. Just because they weren't mentioning names in public, it doesn't mean that they don't mention names in private. It'd be like us going to lunch and not talking about the show. That's what they're doing. They're just recapping their day. Do you mean our show or the show? The show. No, we don't talk about the show. It would, though. It would be like us going and not discussing what we do.

2:20:42But there's not a law that says we can't. Well, there's probably no law that says they can't talk. They just can't reveal, okay, I'm talking about Gladys Perkins. Oh, it looks like her sphincter is all in an uproar. What about the people that work at a doctor's office that didn't take? The oath. Oh, yeah. You know they're blabbing. They're like, mm-hmm. You know who came in? It was L.O.B. That's a L.O.B. today. That girl's got some boobies that I could not even believe. Every time I stand on the scale of the doctor's office, I feel like I'm going to leave and they're going to be like, can you imagine? I didn't think she'd weigh as much as she did. I hate that. The woods is fatter than we thought. I go in and I'll get an x-ray and I think that they're going, smallest one I've ever seen. I've never seen anything like that. It's like a world record. I think he's a woman. It's a world record. It's an innie. It's an innie. I feel so sorry for that man. It's so, you know. They're like, wow, her ribs are really in a weird place, aren't they? It's a strange place to have ribs. Yeah. It's so weird. That guy Mikey had a meatball sub lodged in his chest. He didn't even see it. He's taking that for later.

2:21:58He really is a monster, isn't he? Quite a creature. Or like, I don't know. Like I went to the dermatologist and showed them this rash that they were like, that's interesting. Your fake rash? Yeah, it was real. They didn't even know what it was. They couldn't even diagnose it. They kept leaving the room and coming back. I'm like, I guarantee they're out there looking it up in the book. Like, what the hell is that? What if they were like, I don't know what to say because it's not. They're like, come here, you gotta see this. Doctor, do you concur that there's nothing on her body? There's nothing there. What am I, as a new med student, what do I do? Go back in and say to her that we'll prescribe her like a steroid or something? We got that cream. Actually, just give her every sample that we have in a bag. Hopefully one sticks. That's what they did. They gave me every sample they had. Just to screw around. Tell her to put Vaseline on. What about Vagisil? I will. It's totally mental anyway. $20. It's all in her head. This broad's crazier than an S-House rat. I'll give you $40 if you tell her to put prep H on it. I'll do it. Actually, I'll give you $60 if you tell her she has to do it only at night. Yeah. And when it's dark out. When it's dark out. I'll do it. I'll give you $100.

2:23:21If you go back in there and tell her she's going to be dead within 40 years. 5701949 is the number. We're talking about people talking out of school. Yeah. You know they do. Oh my gosh. LB told me a story about somebody that she knew. Oh yeah. Tell that story. Someone that I know. Works in a doctor's office. Does just like clerical work. Privy to information about. People that I know. Mm-hmm. I don't want to know these things. Did you know? I'm like, oh my gosh. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. Don't tell me. Don't tell me. Don't tell me. You know that's happening. Yeah. I want to, for doctor's appointments, I want to change my name to Stan Bergen. I know. Hoyle Henratty. Yeah. Hi, I'd like to write an apartment to command. Yes, what do you need? When I go pee-pee, it's purple. That's the problem. Well, and then it stays in there. It stays in your medical history, your little chart. So even if you escaped one day and the cute nurse wasn't in there and you're like, whew, good thing the cute girl wasn't in here when I had purple pee, then she can see everything that you've ever come in there for. Sure. And they do. Yeah. I mean, but it doesn't matter who you are. There's got to be a better system. I agree.

2:24:47570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. Yeah, and you can text us about this or you can call us about this. Mikey Show, who's this? Hello. Oops. I pressed the wrong button. Yeah, mistake. I got a great song for you because of Christmas time. Being here in the holiday season, everybody gets a weird present. Get presents you don't really care for. Christmas was this ugly sweater. This ugly sweater. It makes me look just like Nat King Cole. He's unforgettable. All my friends got better than this ugly sweater. Ugly, ugly, ugly.

2:25:59And I'm gonna take it back. You'd better give me the receipt. You should see this ugly sweater. Ugly unattractive ugly sweater. He looks like crap in his Christmas sweater. Christmas was this ugly sweater. Touched this with a ten foot pole. He sings for Ripper. Off close to me I got this sweater. That's way too small for you. The receipt. You should see this ugly sweater. Ugly unattractive ugly sweater. That's our friend Len. He's good. I like that. I can't wear sweaters because they make me look fatter still. Stop. It's the truth though, LLB. I can't. Everybody can wear sweaters. No. Sweaters are so comfy. Not everybody.

2:27:20If you're thin, you know, you have an okay shape like yourself, you can wear a sweater. Chubby guy like me, I wear a sweater. It looks goofy. Sweaters that I wore last year when we first started on the show now come up to here on me. But you can still wear one that fits you? Yeah, it's a belly shirt. Yeah, I can. I mean, the taller you are, the better. Sorry. Really? Yeah. Sorry, buddy. I love you. It's okay. Listen, I live with it. It's true. Sweaters and shorter. Guys, don't worry. Sorry, buddy. You guys are crazy. I'll wear a sweater. You'll see. Yep. I would like you to wear a sweater. Oh, man. You ain't going to like it. It ain't pretty. It'll be worse than you normally have. I look terrible in sweaters now because I'm fat. What? You're not fat, bro. I'm fat, dude. My boobs. I have boobs. Man boobs. Boobs. Yeah, I do, too. It's terrible. A fat gut. It's funny because he's fat. It's the first in my life my stomach hangs over my belt now, which I never thought would happen. It's happening. You done lapped over. I done lapped over. I look at pictures of me wearing a t-shirt, and I see my man boobs. Moobs? I see my moobs, and I think to myself, oh my goodness, that looks atrocious. Now, what am I willing to do about it?

2:28:42Very little. Very little. But I'm going to make some attempts at improving upon this situation. You ever just give up? Oh. Mike, there's sweaters that you can wear. I can find you a sweater that you would like. The baby gap? The thicker the sweater, the more it looks like there's rolls, even when there aren't rolls. Thank you. No, even when there aren't rolls, like on anyone. But we all know that about sweaters. Yeah. But when you are bigger anyway, like you don't want people. Being like, oh, what if that was a roll? People go, oh, I think that's a roll. That's not the sweater. No, I think that if a bigger person wears a sweater, if anyone wears a sweater, I want to just cuddle with them. You do? Yeah. I do like to hug people with sweaters. You don't think, though, if I have a sweater on, you wouldn't go, uh-oh, he's got big chi-chis. No, it makes you look like a warm, sort of like, no, approachable person. A warm fatty? A warm chubber. Chubs. A warm chubs. Bigfoot. A warm tub tub. No.

2:29:40You could wear a thinner. Oh, look how warm that little chubby man is. He couldn't wear like a v-neck. Like a v-neck. Yeah, he could. Yeah, you could. I can't because you know why? I have to have it specially fitted for like a jockey. Like an obese jockey. Because I'll tell you why. Because the sleeves will come past my fingertips when I... I'll find you one. You roll them up. I'll find you one. Yeah, you can pull them up. Great look. Great look. Rolling up your sweater sleeves. You push them up. You don't roll them. Not every sweater fits every person. You've got to try them on. I'd love to be able to, guys, but I'm telling you that a Mexican with a shaved head. It's just not your seat. I wanted to be there. But it's not your seat. Like we talked about, I can't wear a poncho on the street. You can. I can pull it off. Like we talked about. Sombrero. We were talking about it this morning. You can wear a sombrero. I don't look good in one. What did you say you could wear? Because you're tall. Oh, Sienna said I could wear Uggs. And I go, and she goes, he can pull it off. Okay, let me explain myself. We're about to open the phones on this one. If you were a homosexual. Okay, now I have always been anti-guys in Uggs.

2:30:51Until this weekend when I saw a guy pull them off. No, he didn't pull them off. He did. He should have pulled them off. I'm very judgmental when it comes to looks like this. Define it. He pulled it off. The whole thing. He had shorts. He was wearing. Come on. I'm telling you. You can tell he was a cool guy. I was in. I would have dated him if I was single. No way. He wouldn't have dated you though because he likes dudes. No, he didn't. He was. A good looking guy. They were like regular shorts. They were jean shorts. Jean cutoffs. No, they weren't. Yeah, and he was on roller freaking skates. The Uggs were roller skirts. He had a pink shirt that was tied to knot by his belly button. This actually makes a difference. There's shorter Uggs and then there's the higher up Uggs. They were the shorter of the Uggs that he was wearing. Did he shave his legs? No, stop it. He looked comfortable. What did his boyfriend look like? He looked like someone I wanted to be friends with. But what did his boyfriend look like?

2:31:54Sorry. What did his husband look like? Stop it. I have to see it. What color was his fanny pant? I am telling you. He was a good looking guy. The funniest part of the story is Sienna goes, Woods, I think you can pull it off. I go, Sienna, I walked in here with cargo shorts on and you put me on the guillotine for a week solid. I know. If I walked in in Uggs, she might pee her pants. She might. She would do that laughing. I would probably need to be forewarned. She would make me cry. I would cry. You'd cry. You'd say, can I go home, Mike? Yeah, I'm going. No. I'd say, I'm going home. I'm going to go home. It's me or her. Jay could wear Uggs and he could pull it off. No. Yes. Sienna, you're out. I'm telling you. As soon as he walked out of the room, one of us would go. What the hell's going on with you? What's he doing? No, there's a place and a time. Why does Jay like dudes now? There's a place and a time. Does Kim know? Does his wife know that he likes guys now? You know, okay, what was the movie with I Love You Man? I Love You Man. The guy in the movie, what's his name? Jason Segel. Wears the short Uggs, and I'm not mad at him. Terrible. Because he just is a cool guy, and he's funny, and it's okay. But I'm a woman. He's walking down the beach, he's walking his dog, and he's got...

2:33:09shorts on, like a button-down shirt, and he's got Uggs on. He just looked like he didn't care, and I like that guy. When it came on the screen, I love that movie. I watch it. Every time it's on, I go, why is he wearing Uggs? Is he out of his mind? And it's a nice fit. Big surprise. CBK, don't ruin this for me. You don't wear Uggs. I do. I wear Uggs. This is Captain Buzz. Hi, Captain Buzz. I wear Uggs with shorts. No. No, you don't. I do. I wear... I wear shorts with Uggs. Ew. That's disgusting. Awful. Do you wear a sweater, too? Mm-hmm. Oh, man. And I beg to differ with you guys about how heavier men can't wear sweaters, because I weigh 416, and I can wear sweaters. Yeah. I bet it looks good on you. Granted, your sweaters are an actual canvas boat sail that you sail a boat with, but that's okay. No, his sweater is his chest and back hair.

2:34:10This what? Chest and back hair. Exactly. There's only one problem with my Uggs. What? It stinks so bad. You wear socks with them. I wear socks with them. I don't. Oh, God. What do they smell like? They smell like vinegar. Stop it! What? They smell like corn chips and vinegar. Fritos. I'm going to throw up. Stop it! Stop it! Hey! Stop! I'm not kidding. When you said Fritos, I almost lost it. Oh my gosh. Never wear Uggs again. I take it back. Sorry. Guess how much gas might cost by Christmas. I'll tell you next. I don't understand this text.

2:35:38It says, Mikey, Betty White called. She said you're being a diva. Wear a sweater, pal. DBB. That means don't be a baby. It's even one rusty rocket. I don't know that I'm being a diva by saying that I look like a fatty. I think it's the other way around. Yeah. Not a diva. It's the wrong word. A diva's like, I'm too good for this. I think he thinks you're being a Sally. A Sally. You're worrying like a girl would worry. Yes. Okay. I am being a Sally, but I'm not being a diva. A diva wants rose petals in her toilet. Which you've also asked for. What's the big deal? You guys don't have rose petals? You guys don't put that. Which you all, yeah, fair enough. You also asked for that. And I said no. And Jason said no. That's so stupid. I'm not a diva. Do you believe I'm a diva? I believe we all can be. I know I can be. See, I believe I'm not a diva. I believe you can be. I don't have any trace of, okay, give me an example.

2:36:32Pens. Pens is not diva. That's diva. It's OCD. It's obsessive compulsive. That's code for diva. No. A hundred bit. Listen, if Mariah Carey said, I have to have my notebook put right here, okay, that's OCD. If Mariah Carey says, I must have a $400 bottle of champagne. placed in my dressing room along with a very particular brand of expensive and exquisite teas and blah, blah, blah, blah. And don't look me in the eyes. No one can look me in the eyes. And that's a diva. Yeah, that's diva. I'm OCD. I have to have specific things or I spin out. Here's the diva part. The fact that you don't put your pens there, that Jay does it. That's the diva part. It saves me time. That's the diva part. It saves me time. You know what I mean? Maybe I'm a diva in that way. You give me that? Everyone has a diva in us. Here's when I'm a diva. When you guys all order breakfast from the same place and I'm like, I don't want El Portal. I want, go get me oatmeal. I need Copenhagen. I need Copenhagen. That's when I'm a diva and I'm like, you need to go get my snuff on a break. That's me being a diva and I always apologize because I know when I do it. What about when you ask them to microwave Pop-Tarts for you?

2:37:58I did ask Chris to put a Pop-Tart in the toaster, which is really far from us now. It's far. And maybe you complained that he didn't do it right. Did I? Once. He only did it once. The only reason I say that is because he called himself Elton. I did. I go, listen, this is a very Elton John move. Can you go make my Pop-Tart? It was pretty funny. Damn it. I'm a diva when I ask Will to clean my diamond ring. Yes. I know I shouldn't do it. And he has to put on special gloves. Yes. I don't want fingerprints on it. Look, we all have. Every one of us has some of that quality. I always ask Chris, I'm like, I want six different black men and I want them color-coded. Wearing the same thing so I can see which is the best looking. Different types, different heights. We all have it. I think I agree with you, Woods. I think the fact that I have Jay put out my stuff is diva-ish. It does save you time. And listen, knowing you the way that we do, or the way that I do, it's going to, like you setting up your pens could take you 30 minutes, just depending on what kind of mood you're in. You know what I mean? That's very true. It could take you 30 minutes to get that done. So the fact that Jay has everything lined up for you.

2:39:11That's nice. That's good. But see, I think that most talk show hosts... I was going to say, to Mike's defense, everyone I've ever worked with does that too. Yeah, I mean, I think every talk show host has their stuff set up for them. Yeah, they come in, they do the thing. I bet Oprah has someone do her things for her. I bet Oprah has somebody wipe her butt. She's a diva, though. Oh, she's a big diva. I once heard that Cameron Diaz had people put on her deodorant for her and stuff. No way. That's not true. I heard it. No, my wife does that for me, but that doesn't make me a diva. That just makes me a husband. Makes you lazy. Lazy? Yeah. Babe. I've clipped Todd's nails before. Yeah, my wife's done that. When I'm at home, I sit down to pee. That's weird. I do that. I'm lazy. I'm lazy, and it's comfortable. It's not us being a diva. That's very odd. I pee and read at the same time. How long are your pee? It'll take a while. I'll just sit in there. I like it. He wants to be alone. Is that weird? No. Not to me. Girls will never understand how guys are in the bathroom. Guys don't understand it either. I love it. I want out. I have a nice couch. I have a great bed.

2:40:17That toilet's the most comfortable seat in the house. Oh my gosh, I beg to differ. It's very private. Porcelain. I will read a novel in there. Why don't they make them like a lazy boy? Like you can lean back. They tried. Oh, that would be awesome. You can put your feet up. More to clean. They tried making those cushioned seats, but they're not very hygienic. Do you guys remember those? Oh yeah. Your grandparents have them. Everybody's grandparents have the cushion seats with the fur thing on the top. If they get a crack in them, it pinches your butt. I remember going over to people's houses and thinking, oh man, they're rich and lucky. Ew, the worst is, though, if you go in there and it's warm. The warm padding. That can happen with porcelain. I know, but that person has to have been sitting on that porcelain for a long time to keep it heated like that. Is there anything worse than sitting down where somebody was sitting and it's warm? I mean, it doesn't matter where it is. It could be a bus seat. It could be a couch. And you're like, ew, butt warmth, butt warmth, butt warmth. Ew. Your body heat.

2:41:19So how much will gas maybe cost by Christmas? Well, if it doesn't cost where you're living $3, then it will by Christmas. Oh, yeah. Well, we're used to that. I don't even really pay attention. I'm like $3.25, I think. It's over $3, so that would be a decrease. Well, this is a national story, so a lot of places. It will be $3. $4.25 around here. I know, huh? So why don't we do this? Why don't we have people call us right now for Name That Tune? You're going to pick me or Sienna or Woods or L-O-B. And what is the theme today, Jay? This is, you're looking to tell me who's singing the song. Because these are Christmas songs, and you've got to just tell me who the performer is. So not title. Not title. Artist only today. Artist only. And you know what we have for them? What? A pair of audio shoes. It's a gift certificate to go get a pair of shoes. Ah. Tinnies. Tinnies. All right, call and pick one of us. All right, Sienna, so. How much might gas cost by... Oh, we already did that. Three bucks. Yeah, three bills. Three bills. Three bucks. I would just forget what you're saying. It's all right. We talk about a lot. That's right. Thank you, Sam. No problem. For defending my weirdness. Of course. Garrett is going to be... Garrett! Garrett! Our program director, Garrett, is going to be filling in for me on Friday and Monday. It's going to be so funny to work with Garrett. Yeah.

2:43:36Yeah, you guys will all be here. So it'll be Sienna and Woods and L.O.B. and Jay and our phone screener. And Garrett will be sitting where I'm sitting. Let's play, oh, by the way, tonight's 8 o'clock album, The Black Angels. Boss Fiend Dream. Let's do name that tune. Here we go. We got M1 Drew from San Marcos. Who would you like to represent you? L.O.B. It's a good choice. Good choice. Hang on a line. There is no good and bad, you guys. Oh, yes, there is. Come on now. They're all good choices. Yeah, that's true. M1 Ziggy from Lemongrove. Who do you want? Good thing. You know that. Got it. It's another good choice. M1 Izzy from La Mesa. I want my pumpkin girl, Sienna. Yeah! I love you. Have I told you that before? And the next caller you get, Mikey.

2:44:40M1 Ed from Chula Vista. Yup, yup, Mikey. I am so sorry. It's all good. No worries. I got faith. Sure. What did he say? He's got faith. Oh, he's got faith. Hang on a line. I'm not that great at this game. You're pretty good. Sometimes. I'll give it a shot. Sometimes you are. What is the king? And then we all have our go at it. You may do well today. All right, today is Christmas artist. We got to tell, what is the celebrity singing this Christmas song? Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Woods. Mikey. Woods. Michael Jackson. You need to hone that in a little bit more. Michael Jackson. The Jackson 5? Okay. Woods is leading. Weird. Chestnuts roasting. Mikey. Not King Cole. Woods and Mike tie. One. Oh boy. Here we go. Woods. Sarah McLachlan? Yes! Damn it! Woods. Sarah McLachlan.

2:45:52Cinead O'Connor. Nice! It's Sinead. He knows that. Was that Sade? Sade, Sade. This one's tough. Mikey. No, I know. Too late. Too late. You've already buzzed in. That lady we talked about earlier, I think. That lady we talked about earlier. Susan Boyle. Dang it. Lauren. I know this. Glenn Close? Olivia Newton-John. Yes, that's it! Play it again in picture Glenn Close. I see that. Okay, the score is Mikey won, Lauren won, Woods and Sienna zero. Here we go. Lauren? Andy. Mikey. Go ahead, Mikey. Andy Williams. Yes!

2:46:58Ben Crosby. Or Ben Crosby. Ben Crosby. At least I knew it was. Fred Crosby. Ben Crosby. Alright, alright. Calm down in there. People let him forget that? Ben! I think he's from this area. Ben Crosby? Yeah, Ben. Okay, we all have zero. Here we go. You know, if you ever get to go to London, you have to see Big Bing. You have to see Big Bing. Did you see Big Roethlisberger last night? He was fantastic. I'm going to cut you in your sleep. The curious case of Bingham and Button. Mikey. Now it's Andy Williams. No! It's not? No, that had to be him. Oh, I know.

2:48:12Quiet. In the air, there's a feeling. Children laughing. People passing. Needing smile. Harry Connick? Yeah. Darn it. Can I say it? Can I say it? Yeah, can I say it? You're done. It doesn't count. Yeah, you don't get any points. Who was it? It was Dean Martin. Yes, it was. You know. Woods and I are leading with zero. Holy cow. Yes. Holy man. What do they have? Negative one. Nice. Here we go. Mikey. Liza. Wow. Back up to zero. It's my fault. You're such an idiot. Liza, that was great. Thank you. It's one of your better Christmas performances. Here we go. Mikey. Oh. Mikey. Miss Piggy. Dang it. Wow. What's the score? Mike won. Lauren negative one. Woods and Skin is zero. Darn it. Here we go.

2:49:16Wow, Sienna. Oh, you can't. Lois Griffin. You're wrong. Mikey. Mikey. Madonna. Play it again. It does. Play it again. That's Madonna? Yep. Wow. One final one. All those days of listening to Kixi have really come in handy for me right now. What's the score? The score is Mikey three, Lauren negative two, Woods and Sienna zero. So we'll make this a four pointer. Let's do it. Here we go.

2:50:25Lauren. Lauren. Yes, man. Mikey did it. Mikey still won. I was waiting. I knew he was going to do it. I was like, I'm going to get you, and I lost it. Oh, man. Mikey wins. It's the first win I've had in a long time. M1, Ed, congrats. There you go, buddy. Hang on. I just kept yelling my name if I recognized the song. Right, you did. I was freaking out. About time the host wins one. I haven't won for a long time. Nice work, Mike. You ask me every week to let you win, and I never do. Woods is so... creepy good at this. Thank God it was Christmas music. You'll always beat me. I know. Woodsy hates Christmas music. No, I don't. You do. I don't hate it. No, I'd like it. I just, I don't like it. You getting a Christmas tree, pal? Yeah, we got one already. You did? Yeah. Real or fake? That's fake. What are you, perfectly real tree? I didn't say a word. Perfect tree over there. Perfect ornaments. Perfectly real. Doesn't it kill you not to have the smell? No.

2:51:27You can get little oil drops for that. Hillary, did you get a tree yet? Yep. What kind? You know what? We got a... Noble. Douglas fir? Yeah, Doug fir because the nobles were so expensive. I don't like to use trees as ornaments. Stop it! I think trees belong in their natural habitat, which is the forest. I have no leather. How dare you. These trees provide an industry for the people. This is pleather on my shoes. Now, I think trees belong in the forest amongst their friends and family. So you and Jamie have a child. The ritual of going to pick out your tree. They're giving us a hard time. You're going to give us a hard time for having a Christmas tree now. Yeah, because it's bad. Stop it. What about you? Have you and BFMC, your boyfriend, Matt Commerce? We don't live together. So I've just been thinking, am I going to get one, period? I don't know. And if I get one, I might get a fake one because I don't want to deal with like the water and the needles and all that stuff. You can get a fake one and you can take like they have the essence of stuff and you just put little drops. It's not the same. I've got a living one, a potted one. You can do that and then plant it somewhere. That's good. We got an eight footer. That's a lot of work. Maybe nine. How big is your tree? You're the little muffin. You're the little muffin. We get ours today.

2:52:47It's so exciting when it comes. How involved are you in the decorating? Why do you have to ask me questions? I just want to know. You wait until Hillary gets here and you embarrass me purposefully. No, I don't. I swear. I was curious. He does. I was curious. I have a question. Are you involved? How involved are you in the Christmas card? Because you're not on it. Oh, by the way, speaking of the Christmas card. Yeah, let me tell you about the Christmas card. I was going to ask you guys. Hey, if you get our Christmas card, you got one, Hillary. It's in my mailbox. If you guys get a Christmas card, can I see it? Because I haven't seen our Christmas card. You're not on it? You should go on the shoes. I'm not on it? No. You're not in it. It's really awesome. My wife's like, well, babe, the card is so much prettier. Is your wife on the card? Of course. So are our children. They're like, oh. So is the cat, by the way. Yeah, they probably look and they're like, oh, look at this poor widow. It's so sad. This widow lost her dear husband. She lost her dear husband and she's a single mommy. How dreadfully sad. Your cat Jules is on there. Yeah, probably. No, the cat Jules is not on there. Probably Nita or Nita is on there. There's a lot of pictures of your kids. One with Jake and Rebecca. The one with them kissing. It's really cute. Yeah, great. Not her husband. But none of you. None of me. I love it. I haven't seen it yet.

2:54:09Neither have I. We're exactly the same, L.O.V., except one of us isn't married to Rebecca Esparza. How fantastic is that? It's a beautiful kind. I'm sure it is. Bro, she probably asked you about it a hundred times. You're like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Or not. She was probably like, do you like this one or this one? Uh-huh. Really? Yeah. Guarantee you. Whatever you got. Or maybe she took care of it. Babe, I'm watching... Disgusting foods with Anthony Bourdain. I don't have time to pick a Christmas card. It's bizarre foods. Whatever. I'm watching some baby documentary in Spanish. I'm watching a documentary on meat in Spanish. I'm watching a French documentary with English subtitles about how cheese is made. Absolutely. I don't have time to pick. In Italy. In Italy. Christmas card. So I can't be bothered with that right now. I'm learning how they make hats. Gosh, can't you see? I'm busy. Babe, Swedish hats. I like to decompress when I get home. No, Mike, you have a good eye. Yes, thank you. I think you would be involved. It's fine. It's a beautiful Christmas card. Don't have a clue what it looks like. It's really nice. We don't do those because it's bad.

2:55:30for the environment. What? Stop it. We waste Christmas. We don't want to waste a lot of paper and stuff at my house, so we don't do Christmas cards. We took our picture yesterday. I'm not in it. Can I take this opportunity to just wish you all a Merry Christmas? I don't think anyone's going to get a card from me. And a Happy New Year. How dare you? Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Our cards will be coming out next week. Yeah, you'll get ours too. I'm ordering ours today. I'll send an e-vite. I'll send an e-vite. Actually, I am going to send an e-mail to some of our playgroup friends, my daughter's friends and stuff, because our friends, the Burns family, did it last year. And it's a great idea, because if you're concerned about the environment, put some pictures in an e-mail. The Burns family little Christmas card was an e-mail last year, and it was really cute. So for some casual friends, I'm going to do that for family, though. Does your husband... See the card before it goes out? This was the extent of it. In fact, this morning, because I'm like, I need to get him done. I pulled up a picture on our iPhoto. He was shaving. And I'm like, babe, just take a look. Can we use this one? He runs down to the office, looks at it, and he's like, yeah, I don't think so. And goes back and he's shaving. He's like, no. So what are you going to do? Well, we had family pictures taken like a week ago, but our friend hasn't emailed him to us yet.

2:56:49I hate to bug him. You have to bug. You have to bug. This is potential Christmas content. At this time of year, you got to bug. I know, right? But he did it for free, and it was a nice page. You have to do it passive-aggressively. If he has the picture, I mean, it's not just for him. I'm sure he wants to give it to you. And they're digital. Not only was I involved, Mikey, I took the picture. Oh, boy. I got our picture taken yesterday. Jenna and Sage are in it. Todd was not there. He has not seen it. So don't feel bad. He's not on it either? I'm not on it. It's just the kids. But I'm sure I'll have to show it to him before I send it out. My wife wouldn't need. But he doesn't, you know, I did all the work. So even if he says no, I'm like, I don't care. What is she going to do? My wife sent out the Christmas card. She's like, babe, it looks like we could have you in it. But people are going to wonder, why is the gardener? Why did you? This beautiful white family, Caucasian, with little blue-eyed children. And then there's this brown guy. No, stop. Then he put a cab driver in there. No. Rebecca did look good. Stop. Jay. She did. Hillary, what do you have come out? Oh, I've got Muse, Gorillaz, Film School, Mumford & Sons, Arcade Fire, The Clash.

2:58:11there you go lovely and talented hillary is up next and we will talk to you again tomorrow morning at six mikey shows out