The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 12/07/10
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Tuesday December 7, 2010
On the anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor Mikey remembers December 7th as the day he got arrested by the Military Police at an Air Force base in Arizona. The gang reminisces about bad clothing they received for past holidays. The movies for the Mikeython are announced. The governator is not quite finished bankrupting the state and the Wikileaks dude gets nabbed in London. Mikey talks about getting fired from Clear Channel. The great Christmas card debate is next as the Esparza card has a certain bald family member missing from it. The Kid doesn’t do the card bit although everyone wants to see LOB sitting on black Santa’s lap. Santa Baby is played and LOB is pressured to sing it live. Obama’s handlers try to feed him words he can handle and Tom Brokaw delivers more funny Facebook status updates. You aren’t human if you can’t groove to AC/DC’s biggest hit and WoS has the latest NFL coach to get clipped. The Incorporator calls a pawn shop as the flamboyant Bryce Torce and gets some screaming input from his life partner! Drive by play by play and sing-off audio is next. Famous movie roles that were turned down features Al Pacino. The new Facebook changes get the gang talking about the world’s favorite social network. A M1 calls in with husband problems she blames Facebook for and sides are drawn in the sand. Ever just drink an old guy’s water? LOB’s new movie trailer “Conception” is played. Tom Tom Tunes starts off with good ‘material’ but doesn’t ‘come around’ very ‘smoothly’. Mikey can’t get enough of the Inception soundtrack. Kathy Griffin’s annoying voice gets booed by troops and the cast has different takes on what a comedian can and can’t get away with. Who’s in or out on holiday traditions? Woods is suddenly an environmentalist and not only hugs trees but frenches them! Sienna tells about the worst places to get zits and the sneaky things that produce them. News of a record tuna caught leads to Woods making fun of Mikey in front of Hilary again.
Bumper Music
1. ROLLING STONES: CAN’T YOU HEAR ME KNOCKING
2. SOUNDGARDEN: OUTSHINED
3. SPACEHOG: IN THE MEANTIME
4. AC/DC: YOU SHOOK ME ALL NIGHT LONG
5. BAND OF HORSES: LAREDO
6. BEACH BOYS: DON’T WORRY BABY
7. BILLY SQUIER: MY KINDA LOVER
8. BLACK CROWES: WISER TIME
9. BLACK KEYS: SHE’S LONG GONE
10. BEATLES: HERE COMES THE SUN
11. ALICE IN CHAINS: I STAY AWAY
12. BLOC PARTY: SO HERE WE ARE
13. BOB DYLAN: LAY LADY LAY
childhood embarrassmentholiday traditionsradio prank callsmarriage and privacycelebrity comedyfamily frugalitycharity carolingmikeywoodsradiofake idchildhood
Mikey told two vivid childhood stories: military police caught him using an altered military ID, and his mother made Eddie Van Halen-inspired flannel pants that embarrassed him. The cast turned holiday etiquette into comedy by judging family Christmas cards, puzzling over Sienna's mother's proposed one-mile house swap, and entertaining Jesse's mass-caroling fundraiser. Woods performed the Incorporator as Bryce at a pawn shop and was also roasted for drinking water left behind by a Secret Service guest. Caller Sarah's discovery of her husband's 107-minute Facebook chat with his ex sparked an argument about privacy versus neglected priorities, while Kathy Griffin's Bristol Palin joke prompted a separate debate about cruelty, satire, and the obligations of public figures.
What happened, in order
Fake ID at the Air Force Base
Mikey recalled being stopped by military police while sick because his brother Steve had altered the birth date on his military ID so he could enter clubs.
Homemade Fat Pants
Mikey described his mother sewing him oversized flannel pants inspired by Eddie Van Halen, which led the cast into stories about humiliating homemade and off-brand childhood clothes.
A Childhood of Stale Chips
Mikey said his father bought expired Frito-Lay snacks from a tenant, so he grew up thinking soft, stale chips were normal until he finally tasted a fresh one.
Christmas Card Court
Mikey admitted that he judges Christmas cards by their print quality, family photo, and newsletter, while Lauren O'Brien and Woods argued that sending them is an unnecessary chore.
The One-Mile House Swap
Sienna said her mother was invited to trade homes with another La Jolla family only a mile away, prompting debate over whether the swap would be a fun change or merely invasive and pointless.
Bryce Calls the Pawn Shop
In the Incorporator bit, Woods called a pawn shop as Bryce and worked listener-supplied words including panties, lunchbox, hippopotamus, Zamboni, minivan, and carne asada into one increasingly absurd shopping story.
The 107-Minute Facebook Chat
Caller Sarah found that her busy husband had chatted with his ex-wife on Facebook for an hour and 47 minutes, and the cast argued over his misplaced priorities and whether reading the conversation violated his privacy.
The Secret Service Water
The cast revisited Woods casually drinking a leftover cup of water after a Secret Service guest departed, horrifying everyone with jokes about old-man saliva and floating dentures.
Kathy Griffin Gets Booed
After Kathy Griffin was booed by troops for a joke comparing Bristol Palin to Precious, the hosts debated whether public figures are fair targets, whether the joke was cruel, and whether Griffin should have abandoned it
M1 Mass Caroling
Caller Jesse proposed assembling M1 listeners for a giant charity caroling outing, but Mikey admitted he liked the idea while doubting he could organize it within a week.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsSiennaLauren O'BrienJaySteveEddie Van HalenSarahJesseKathy GriffinBristol Palin
26,803 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
That's right. Yeah. Yeah, get it. Sharp, wasn't it? A little bitter. That's recovery. That's a good recovery. Uh-oh. Get up there.
What a transition. Save it. Save it. Save it for this moment. Here we go. Don't waste it all. Divine has never sounded so good. Never. It sounds divine. Spend it all. All right. Holy cow. Holy cow. What do you do in that audience? What do you do? I would have been in my car by now. I would have stood up, put my hands in the air. Feel it. Feel it. I'd be dabbing my eyes. Yeah. Here it comes. Come on. Bring it down. Are you crying? Is he crying?
I like the Boyz II man at the end when he just talks. Yeah. I know it was. You know it was. That's the greatest. Very good. Very good. That's the way to start your day. That's right. Welcome to the Mikey Show. Today is December 7th. Wow. A day that will live in infamy. Yeah. That's what I thought, right? I always remember this day because it was the day that I got arrested by the military police in Tucson, Arizona. I had the flu and used a fake ID. No way. What? What? Yeah. The only ID I had at the time was a military ID because my dad was in the military and I had tampered with it to get into an 18 and older club. Oh, boy. To dance? How dare you. Just collecting my facts. Was there a free buffet inside? You're like, you had to be 18 to get into Tony Romo? Since when? Yeah. What happened? The military cop walked out and said,
Excuse me, sir. And he came in with another guy. Where was this? It was his supervisor. It was at the dispensary in the military base in Tucson, Arizona. Wow. Mothin Air Force Base, I think it was. And I was dreadfully sick. Couldn't afford to go to a doctor, but I still was insured because of my military ID from my dad. So I went in. And I was sitting there just like I was sitting in and I had in front of me holding in my lap. I had a bucket. Oh, wow. And they they pulled me back, you know, to the back room and they were upset because I tampered with my I.D. Oh, my God. And they had to call my dad. And my dad, my dad retired high ranking Navy military. And they said. that the reason that they were going to be cool about it was because of my dad. Of course. Lucky. Yeah. And my dad didn't care. He wasn't really upset about it. He just said that was a dumb thing to do. Yeah. And my brother actually did it. Steve. Steve was the one that had actually done it. Get in there with a blade. Got in there with a scripto knife. Is that what they call it? Yeah. Exacto. Exacto. Scripto. Yeah. Almost identical. Switched up your birthday. So you can go out clubbing.
Yeah, so that I could go out clubbing. I didn't want to go anyway. I didn't want to go. Of course I didn't want to go. I was really overweight. So did they give you medicine? Yeah, they took care of me. That's good. At one point, my mother used to make my pants because I was so overweight. Oh, boy. We would go pick the fabric. From the tent store? Yeah, from the tent store. The sales store. We'd go to a fabric store. Really? I'm sure they were really nice pants. And you would just get like giant swatches of fabric? They were flannel. Flannel pants? Flannel. Wow. She making PJs? I was trying to go for the look that Eddie Van Halen had. Gotcha. In the 5150 days. He used to wear these sort of parachute looking pants. Baggy. Baggy. Yeah. You know, and that's what I had. Not a good look. Wasn't a good look for him. No. I thought it was at the time. I thought it was a very cool look. Converse. Yeah, and when you're six feet tall and you're a thin man, probably is, and you're in a rock band, and you're Eddie Van Halen, it's probably going to work for you. When you are an obese, teenage Mexican with a mullet. And the flu. And the flu? It's not a good look. Oh, my. She would sew your pants. I wouldn't. My mother did. That's what I said. She's a seamstress. She would sew.
pants for you. Elastic waistband. What a nice mother. I had homemade fat pants. I remember one time having to go to a big and tall store to buy my jeans. And of course, usually a guy that had a waist that size was about seven feet tall. So the crotch was about at my knees, you know, I mean, it just. Yeah, of course. And so, you know, my mom. Is this on? This is a thing of the past, Mike. It's all right. Now you don't need to worry about that because you look great. Mortifying. Mortifying. You look great. Yeah. That's mortifying.
You have some nice designer jeans on now. Let's just focus on now. I remember at one point I had lost some weight. And so I got a pair of jeans. And they were still too long. Because they were meant for somebody like Woods. And so mom cut them with scissors. And then she hemmed them. But she didn't know how to do the original hem. Oh, no. So it had that sewed look. Oh, God. It's the worst thing. Because everyone knows. Oh my gosh. It's just a hymn. I would never look at your leg now and go, oh, that's a weird hymn. But you know it, so you're ultimately self-conscious. I was walking into a movie theater with, do you remember Christy? Yeah, yeah. Christy. Disgusting. Creep. And she said, and she goes,
She did it just like this. She goes, did somebody sew your nose? And I go, and I go, no. And then I think she kind of felt bad and she dropped it because she, you know, very easily could have been like, Well, yeah, they did. I mean... Look at them. This is a new style. She's like, wait, wait, wait. Let me see it. I want to take a look at it. Hang on. You're like, no. Wait, this says mom on it. At least your mom sewed yours. My mom just made me roll mine up. They were like, four sizes too big, and then she'd roll them up, and then I would just have to let them out. I was like, I'm growing. I'm growing. Oh, wow. And then there'd be patches sewn under the knees. Well, nothing you guys had to wear a... big puffy strawberry jean jacket to school like I did. That's a great story. You wanted a jean jacket. That's all I wanted was a jean jacket. And they couldn't have been more expensive than the one he bought. But it had all this padding. And I'll never forget, I opened up the inside and it was plaid.
Like real plaid. And it was puffy. And I put this thing on and I zipped it up and I was like... And they're not supposed to zip up. They're supposed to button. No, they're buttoned. I was like, oh, thanks. It was a Christmas gift. The denim was pink? No, the denim wasn't pink. No, it just looked like a strawberry. It was denim. But it puffed out like a muffin at the bottom. I know exactly what you mean. I was skinny as a rail back then. And it would puff out and I'm like... walking to the bus. He goes, well, I thought this would be a little warmer. I was like, if you just get me what I want. Oh my gosh. Why do parents not just do what they want? Like now kids give, Jenna has written out an exact list of everything. I'm like, stick to the list, stick to the list. I used to give the list and my mom would be like, this is basically the same. I know. You want to say to your parents, like, weren't you a kid at one time? Yeah. You don't remember what you wanted? I used to lie too. There was, I forget what the brand was that was like really cool when I was.
in middle school, my mom found the comparable cheaper version from JCPenney or something. He'd be like, is that from the Limited or wherever the cool store was that I can't remember? I'd be like, yeah. I didn't see it in there. Yeah, I know. You're like, mom. It's from New York City. Don't worry about it. Hey, mom. Stans are not the same as Vance. Hey, mom. Just because it says chaps. Doesn't mean it's polo. It's from the same company, but I wanted the horse. What's the big deal? It says chaps on it. I'm like, I don't want chaps on my chest. I don't want chaps. It makes a difference. Why does it have to be an alligator? This is a dragon head. What's this difference? What was the one? It was like a fox or something. Remember that? A tiger or a fox. I'm like, this isn't freaking Izod. It's not Izod. It's the same thing. It's just a logo. It's different. Yeah, Lacoste. Yeah, we want low cost, not la cost. It's the worst. Oh, wow. It was terrible. I didn't have that problem. Sienna did not. No, she did. You're lucky. Good Lord. She grew up in La Jolla. Even at lunch, having the hijacks instead of the Oreos. Yes. Don't look at my lunch, guys. Get away from my lunch. I don't have Juicy Juice. I have...
ShopRite brand. You have Sam's Club juice. It's like a nickel more for the good stuff. I remember all of our juice came out of a can. It was a Welch's can. You had to put the hole in it. Oh my gosh. Juice from a can. What's the popular juice with the straw? Capri Sun. Yeah, but Capri Sun, you had Kirkland. Yeah, exactly. Those weren't invented when I was a kid. I remember when Capri Suns came out. Stoked. We have cases of Capri Sun in our pantry. Weird. Bragger. Oh, man. General likes them. We had nothing. You know what we had? Yeah. My dad didn't want it. pay for, my dad didn't want to pay for chips. First of all, maybe don't buy so many chips. You won't have a B-son, you know. But he didn't want to pay for chips, and he didn't want to pay for snacks and stuff, so we had a little rental unit in the back of our house, and we got a renter guy that was in there that worked for Frito-Lay. My dad said, hey, what do you do when they expire, when they...
You know, what happens when they are past the expiration date? And the guy said, well, we have to throw them out. And he says, I'll buy them. You know, I'll buy them for lower price. So we had all these stale. All growing up, all growing up, all I ever had was stale chips and grandma's cookies because they came from Frito-Lay. First time I got out of the house and I tasted like a fresh chip. I was like, wow. This is delicious. This is amazing. Is that where the problem began? That's where the problem began. I got fat and obese on stale chips and cookies. You know you're hungry when you're eating stale chips. Well, you don't know any better because your dad buys them for a dollar a crate. Oh, my God. Stuff tastes like wood chips, but I can't stop eating them. I can't stop eating them. I love this nacho cheese flavor. I remember being like. How come they say that you can't stop eating Lay's potato chips? Because I can. They're gross. They're all rubbery. You know, they're like soggy. That's filthy. And I got out of the house and I was like, oh no, they're crunchy. Salty, delicious. When you buy them new. But when your dad buys eight month old ones. There's nothing worse than a soft chip. Woodsy is going to call a pawn shop as the incorporator at 730 this morning.
And have you decided on the voice you're going to use today? I have not. Okay. Because he uses different voices. He's got one voice that he uses. It's named Bryce Tors. Yes, Bryce Tors. And he also does Garrett, our program director. Garrett! So he hasn't decided yet. Also, the word of the day today is fireplace. So when you hear me say fireplace between 9 and 10, caller 9 will get a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld. They're doing a big Christmas celebration through the end of the year. And so that's worth $276. That's cool. And we'll throw in a Mikey Show t-shirt with it. Let's see. The Mikey-thon is officially eight days, 23 hours, and 39 minutes away. Can't wait. Eight days away. We got a lot going on. Oh, yeah. Eight days, you guys. I feel overwhelmed. I feel overweight. I feel overexcited. 28 hours straight on the air. It's going to be so fun, though. To raise money for Rady Children's Hospital and their Autism Discovery Institute. We will watch two movies and we will sort of make fun of the movies like the show Mystery Science Theater 3000. That's my favorite part. One of the movies that we'll be watching, Waterworld. The Sun. For millions of years.
The source of life, but for one planet, the source of its demise. The temperatures climbed, the vast fields of ice at its poles melted, and the oceans rose. I love the angels singing in the back. Singing over Darth Vader's words. Waterworld is vastly considered the biggest bomb in box office history. I like it. I like it. I like it. I've never seen it, so this will be... I saw it. I thought it was terrible. Horrid. If I don't like it, can I walk out in the theater? You cannot. Can I sleep? No. No, you cannot sleep. Get killed. The thing is, is that...
When I saw Waterworld, I was excited to see it. I thought it was going to be great. It was like the most expensive by far movie they'd ever made back then. I think they quadrupled their budget or something. It was insane, yeah. In order to break even. And it was awful. And the other movie we would be watching is Dirty Dancing. Yay! Which I've never seen. One of my faves. Have you seen it, Woods? No! I haven't either. Don't knock it until you try it. All I know is that my mother wore that soundtrack out for 15 years when I was growing up. This is what you have to remember about these movies, though. The worse they, you know, if it's bad, that's good. The problem is that people like Dirty Dancing. L.O.B. loves Dirty Dancing. I know. I feel like I'm going to get mad at you guys. Be like, shut up. You're ruining it. I think it's ripe, though. for making fun of because of the fashion and the... Oh, absolutely. All that stuff. And it's some pretty... Patrick Swayze is very dramatic in it. Oh, my gosh. Oh, I bet he is. It's a fight scene. I know. The fight scene is so stupid. Do they dance and fight? I hope they dance and fight. I can't wait. You're not worth it. You're not worth it. I cannot wait. I can't wait for that.
I can't wait for that. I can't wait to finally see, because I've heard the line my whole life, nobody puts baby in the corner, but I don't even know what it means. Yeah, I don't know what baby is. Don't tell me. I haven't seen it. I'm not going to tell you. So don't tell me. I'll find out why. How dare we? What does that even mean, nobody puts baby in the corner? I bet you're going to cry. I bet you I will not. From laughter. I bet you I will not. 570-1949 is our number, and if you want, you can text us, 949Mikey at gmail.com. This is M1 Cave Dweller from Wisconsin. What's going on, Cave Dweller? Hello? Is this? Oh, that's my fault. Sorry. Sorry, Cave Dweller. Go ahead. Mikey, how are you guys doing? Good. I wanted to wish a happy belated birthday to LOB real quick. That's nice. Thank you so much. And let you guys know that that interview you did with those Secret Service agents was spectacular. Thank you, bro. Thank you so much, man. Appreciate it. Yeah, I just wanted to throw in a little thing that my parents used to tell me when I asked for designer clothes. What? I'm going to use it on my 10-month-old daughter when she's old enough to start asking.
for designer clothes? Yeah. Soon enough. When you can wear a pair of designer jeans as long as I can, I'll buy them for you. That's a great point. Because you're going to outgrow them. Oh. Yeah, that's a good point. I got it. That's like sophomore year of high school, I would say. That's a great comeback for your kid. I will not say that. You won't? No. God, I'm going to use that. I remember, listen, and you'll think that this is so sad. I can honestly remember. Walking to school. Fat. Wearing a pair of cords that were too small. Walking down the street. What's that noise? I don't know. Slow down. Someone's starting a fire. Oh, the bus is coming. Oh, I missed the bus again. I was so pathetic. I was walking to school, had my head down. I mean, I really did. I was so sad and pathetic. Oh, man. I'll never forget those days. If you didn't feel...
Like you looked good. It was the worst day ever. You felt like you had something dorky on. It's still like that. It is, yeah. You know, when you're not confident in what you're wearing. It's terrible. 570-1949 is our number. And, okay, so really quickly, we were supposed to talk about a bunch of things. All kinds of stuff. Yeah. We were supposed to talk about a lot of things, and we didn't. So I'm going to hit on them real quick, and then we'll kind of discuss them when we come back. But I'm going to tell you real quick. The dude that they were looking for for the sex charges, the guy that's the WikiLeaks. Founder. Founder. They got him. We'll tell you where they got him. How about that game last night? Wow. Rex Ryan talking big game, saying they're going to find out who the best team is. Yep. Well, they found out. They did. And it was a blowout. And we'll tell you what the score was and who was on the losing end of that one. Dandy Don passed away. Don Meredith. Bummer. And Schwarzenegger says that we have to declare a fiscal emergency here in California. He wants $9.9 billion in cuts.
It's going to affect all of us. So we'll tell you about all of this stuff when we come back. So much. So, so much. So, so much. How's that one feel? 570-1949, you want to call us and say hi. Mikey's show's on, and we're here for you, M1 Nation. Woods will be doing The Incorporator at 7.30. Have you decided yet, Woods, what voice you're going to use? No. Word of the day, fireplace. When I say fireplace, between now and 10, caller 9 gets a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld worth $276 and a Mikey Show t-shirt. They're new. They're cool. You'll love them. Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, yesterday, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger declared a fiscal emergency. He's asking lawmakers to meet in a special session to save about $9.9 billion. Oh, wow.
Now, he has unveiled a plan, and it's basically to just cut health care and social services for the poor. So it is going to affect everyone. He says about $7.4 billion of his proposal would come from cuts, including reducing cash assistance to needy families by 15.7% in April, which is a big chunk. He also wants to eliminate vision coverage and increase monthly premiums for healthy families, which is a program that provides health coverage for children of low-income families. There's going to be more. More to find out, but that's what he's saying right now. Also, early this morning, London time at 9.30 a.m., the WikiLeaks... Which would have been 12.30 our time. Yes. The WikiLeaks founder was arrested in London. He turned himself in at a police station, 9.30 a.m., yeah, like I said, their time. And he's going to appear in court later this afternoon, 2 o'clock their time. And the court has 21 days to decide whether to extradite him. Oh, wow. Yeah, we'll see what happens. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, as we know, yesterday a football legend, Danny Don Meredith, passed away. He was a really good quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, but he really helped put Monday Night Football on the map. Man, was just really funny and kind of had that down-home country attitude, much like myself. Hilarious. It was a loss for sure. The party's over. They say that all.
Things must end. Oh, I remember that. Yep. The party's over. And tomorrow and next year starts the same old thing again. Dandy Don. Dandy Don. Yes, sir. If I heard that, it meant I was up way too late. Way past your bedtime. Yeah. And then last night, I was really excited for this matchup on Monday Night Football. It was the Patriots against the Jets. Both teams were 9-2. I mean, looking great. Rex Ryan was fired up, too. We played a little audio yesterday of him saying, hey, listen, I've heard him say we're a good team, and they're all sarcastic. They're going to find out how good we are. They did. They lost 45-3. The Jets. Oh, my gosh. You think that's humbling for a guy? 45-3. Mark Sanchez, 17-33. He was talking like he was going to go in there and physically beat them up. Yeah, absolutely. And he got his...
I don't think I'm attracted to him anymore. To Rex Ryan? No, to Mark Sanchez. Yeah, three picks last night for Mr. Sanchez. And Tom Brady, dude. He's sick. 21-29, 326-4 touchdowns. Still attracted to him. Yeah, all of us are. Yeah, so 45-3 is Monday Night Football. Here's Rex after the game. I mean, humiliating for one night. You know, shoot. You know, I'll fight tomorrow. I guarantee you that. Humiliating. You know, it's the biggest butt-whipping I've ever taken as a coach, you know, in my career. But I can promise you one thing. I'll be ready to play him. I'll play him right now if he'll go out and do it again. Oh, you won't. Oh, my God. That's the only way I know how to respond. It's so tough. Rex, really, you're not going to play. Yeah, and Rex, why would you say, I'll go out and play them right now if they let us, if the last time you ran mouth, you went out and got beat 40, by last time I mean about 10 minutes ago, you got beat 45-3 or whatever it is. 45-3. 45-3. Close game. Fun to watch. Oh, wow.
It was a dirt nap. The kicker's like, hey guys, I did my part. Where were you? I got mine. You guys see Adrian Gonzalez yet in the Boston Red Sox outfit? No. Nauseating. Ew. Nauseating. It's even more nauseating for Woodsy because he's a Yankee fan, so that's even worse. But yeah, Adrian Gonzalez, it's official, is a Boston Red Sox. Did a press conference wearing the Boston Red Sox outfit. Disgusting. Outfit. That old English bee that makes me want to vomit all over myself. The worst thing ever. I don't have that reaction to it. I just didn't want it. No, I mean, I didn't grow up a Yankee fan like you. God, dude. Come on. It's sad. It's repugnant. Repugnant. Oh, I wish that it was different. Yeah. I wish that they could pay him. To play and stay here. He's from here. Grew up in TJ. Big name NFL coach was fired, and we'll tell you about that in Woods on Sports in a little bit. I don't remember a year where so many coaches have been fired midseason. It's a lot. A lot of firings, a lot of fines out there for the players. You have to. Do you imagine what pressure is on these guys? Oh, man. No kidding. To freaking win.
And it's also weird, too, because they're under contract. Right. And they're getting fired. I mean, they got contracts. They still get fired. And they just pay them out, I guess. They pay it. How great is that, though, getting paid out? Yeah, but I think for those guys, man, for them, you know, especially a guy like Josh McDaniels, who's young, and it's Josh McDaniels, to spoil the surprise. For him, he's like, I'd rather be on the sidelines than getting paid. You know, he's a young dude. What's he going to do now? Who knows? Doesn't fare well for your next opportunity either. Exactly. So bad I got fired. Yep. I was, you know, let go at Clear Channel last year. And my crew stayed, you know, and I didn't know about it. They got together and said, hey, why don't we do our own show and call it The Show. And, you know, we can't tell Mikey. And I found out about it, you know, in this office when they let me go. It was the last thing in the world that I expected. You know, what I thought was that we were all coming over here together to FM 94.9. Now, had that been the case and they had said at Clear Channel, you're out, it would have been about a month before we came back on the air. And I was thinking to myself, oh, if that happens.
you know, we'll be able to take a little time, enjoy the holidays, blah, blah, blah. If you're Josh McDaniel, you may be in a situation where you're like, I can't kick back. Like I got to put together something. Yeah. People forget about you. Yeah. I mean, he's got to get hired. You know, and especially there's a lot of. retread coaches in the NFL, guys that have been with a million different teams coordinating and this and that. And they get older and they're like, you know what? You owe me this much money. Just pay me. I'm going to go play with my grandkids. But I think he's like 33. He's going to be coaching special teams in Iowa or something if he doesn't get it together. That's the risk you're on hiring since you're a young coach. Sienna picked the picture for her very first Christmas card. Yes. My first. family card that I get to do. You feel like a grown-up. I am a grown-up. Now, when you say Christmas card, who's in it? Sage and Jenna. Your daughters? Yeah. Your daughters and your husband? No. What? We're not in it. What are you talking about? I don't want to be in it. You should be in it. I don't want to be in it. You're crazy about pictures. I am. I wouldn't do it either. No, I mean...
I'm sure we'll be in some. Todd does not. He hates pictures and he hates being in them more than I do. Todd the God? He does not like to. So I said, fine, we'll just have it be the kids this year. And, you know, I'm fine with it. I don't need to be in it. You just want to see the kids anyway. People are just interested in seeing Baby Sage. Well, I remember that this was a source of like sort of. Controversy. Because some people do not like getting Christmas cards. Yeah. Some people don't like getting the family picture card. I like it because it makes me feel like, you know, a judge. I'm just being completely honest. I'm sorry. What do you mean you feel like a judge? Please don't attack me. I'm begging it. It's about to happen. What do you mean by that? Can I see that, please? You haven't seen your own Christmas card yet? I haven't seen our Christmas card. Oh, Lauren brought it. I had it sitting out. Lauren brought our family Christmas card that my wife sent out. It's so pretty. I'm holding it in my hands. It's the first time I've seen it. Shocking. Rebecca looks really good. Creeper.
It has like 10 different pictures. This is Merry Christmas from Rebecca, Luke, Ryan, and Jake. No, the Esparza family. It says, may God bless you this holiday season, the Esparzas. There's some on the back. And by the Esparzas, she means Jake, Luke, Ryan, and Rebecca. There's some pictures on the back too, but you're not in there either. Oh, that's cool. Oh, that's nice. They're all pictures of the kids and one shot of Rebecca with Jakey, right? Where are you? Oh, I'm not in there. I think her original intention was probably to have just the kids, but that picture of her and Jake is just so cute. So adorable. You can't not include that. Of course you can't. No, no, no, no. You couldn't. I like Ryan in the wife beater. He looks like a little old man back there. One-year-old twins. So cute. What I mean by the judge thing is that when we get the Christmas cards and it's got the pictures of the family, First of all, I scrutinize the quality of the card. Oh, my gosh. Can I please just be safe, Fern? Now I'm stepping up my card game because I haven't picked the card yet. I need safety right now for me to be able to admit this to you. Filet Fern, not trust tree. Holy cow. It's a trust tree. No, it's not. It's a trust tree. I'm on board with you. I am not on board. I open the card. I take it out. I look at the quality of the card. And the reason is because you get so many.
So you're like, huh, you know, the Johnsons, blah, blah, blah. Well, they dropped some coin this year. Maybe you should pop in an envelope and send it back with a grade written on it. Yeah, C minus. Because that's the only way I'm going to learn to do a better card next year. And then I'm also judging the quality sometimes of the letter that's included. Letter. You know how some people do that? I don't like the newsletter. They update you. Family news. Family bulletin. The whole year in review. Written by the family's cat. Yeah. I'm sorry, but if there's not a picture on your card, I'm returning it. I want nothing to do with it. I'm not going to read it in protest. I need a picture. What if it's just me? Yes. Yeah, what if it's me? Put a picture of you in there. No. You and your lovely bride. No. You know what LLB looks like? No, but maybe her cousin in Florida hasn't seen her. What if she does a Christmas card with just her face? We'd be like, ew, you creep. Do you know what she should do? If you're single like L.O.B., you go to the freaking Santa thing and you sit on his lap and you take a picture and it's funny. Really creepy. It is not. Unless you're like nude. I'm speechless. I'll bring in my Santa costume. I'm speechless. What?
Why? Why do we have to send out Christmas cards? We all work together. I'm not sending out any. How dare you? Don't send one out if you're not going to include a picture. I want nothing to do with no picture cards. I don't do this bit. I don't like this bit. What about you, M1 Nation? Where are you with getting these? 5701949. I want to know your rules, M1s. What's your rules of getting them? What do you think of getting them? What do you think about mailing them? I look. I'm always like. I don't know if I would have gone with that picture. Or I'm like, wow. Well, well done. What do you do with them? Or the couple that last year I got a couple, like my friend and her boyfriend sent one together. Lame. You're not married. Don't do it. My wife has a ornamental card holder that hangs on the wall. It's like this very lightweight wrought iron looking thing. And you take the cards and you stick it in there. So great. We put ours above the fireplace. They're all displayed. That's nice too. So pretty. Do you throw them, like this is my problem. Throw them out. Keep them forever. If someone gives you a picture with like, it's a card, it's a regular card. And then they tuck a picture in like, oh, I can keep that in my fridge all year. These are my friends, kids, whatever. If it says happy holidays 2010. Throw it away. I have to throw it out. And then I feel bad throwing away a picture of my.
I mean, my friend's kid. Don't feel bad. Just cut it. It says happy holidays. If it says it on the bottom, you can cut it. Cut it. It's like a little ghetto. You can cut it with, like, messed up scissors. It's such a beating Christmas. It's such a beating. No, it's not. It's... You are the cringe. Why are you such a cringe? I don't know. Because Jamie and I, we're married. We've been married three years. We don't do a Christmas card. You should. You have five dogs. Include them in there. We don't do it. We just don't do it. I don't do it either. You know why? You freaking dress your dogs up and you take them with you to the store. Why wouldn't you do a Christmas picture with them? You say they're like your kids. Because I have a gullet and I don't do pictures. Maybe I'll just do the dogs. Just do the dogs. You don't have to be in it. Then I'm the guy, the queen that sent out pictures of his dogs dressed up for... Christmas. That's true, bro. But that's who you are. That's true. But aren't you already the queen that like- Yes. You're the queen that takes his, you know, Yorkie on his lap when he drives around. It's just easier. Like if Jamie did the whole thing, I'd be, oh, cool, babe. Have fun this Sunday addressing envelopes. I'm just not into it. I think we've really come to the root of the issue. Yes. I don't want to do it. If it's difficult. Yes. And I'm lazy. Now, if she wanted to do it, I'd be, okay, cool. Knock yourself out. Right.
Like, you didn't have anything to do with it. It's probably red. You got Christmas cards out there. I don't want anything to do with it. But she won't do it. I like Rebecca's approach. Like, it's nice and printed out with the message. I don't like addressing every single one. My hand cramps up because I never write. Oh, she didn't write in there? No, it's all done. It's part of it. It's printed on there. It's very classy. It's gorgeous. Yeah, but shouldn't it say, you know, personalized message? No, it is. No. It was personalized when it was mailed to you. That's when it was personalized. Because it came to your house. Cards are so obligatory anyway. I'm actually part of two Christmas cards. I'm in my parents' one too. Is Todd? He will be. He doesn't know it yet. He's listening for the first time right now. I think I'm not doing it. My mom had an idea because we went to the La Jolla Christmas parade on Sunday and all the girls were there. My sisters, me, the baby and Jenna, my stepdaughter. And my mom's like, OK, I need a picture of all of you guys together. So I showed it to you this morning. It's cute. And so my mom has an idea of putting all the girls in one picture. So this card will have three pictures. And then the boys, my dad, my brother and Todd, like drinking some wine or something. And then a picture of my.
Oh my gosh. Decorated the tree and it will say like, and mom the elf. So they got it. That wine should just say, hi, I'm totally gay. No, it's cute. They don't have to be drinking wine. They could be like wrestling. That's just what they do. Wrestling. Christmas for me. Mooning a glass window. No. Ham sandwiching a glass window. No, they won't. All those guys will not want to be in the picture. So you have to say, here's a glass of wine. Just smile real quick. And they'll be like, okay. M1 Leonidas from La Mesa. What's cracking morning? What's up? What are you doing, man? Not much. Just enjoying your guys' commentary every morning. Thank you. I'm not quite the Christmas card snob as you, Mikey. Like, if I were to see a picture, just a solo picture of somebody, I'd kind of think, wow, someone thinks they're dynamic. Exactly. But wouldn't it be great if it was Lauren and she's sitting on Santa's lap and it's funny? I mean, it has to be funny. Yeah.
What if she's just wearing a bow? It's a black Santa. That would be hilarious. I don't have the time and the money. I don't have time and money to go see a black Santa. You just call him Santa. If you really add to it, if you're wearing an Adidas tracksuit with a money symbol hanging from your neck, that would be cool. If anyone wants to pro bono set that up for me. Yeah, if anybody wants to do that. Other than that, I'm sitting on a stack of emails. You need to get in the holiday spirit, Lauren. I'm in it. I spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars to go back to the East Coast. I don't need to get Christmas cards. They'll see me in person. I'm with you, L.O.V. I'm with you. I'm with you. I couldn't pose by myself. I just wouldn't have it in me. Man, I am so disappointed in the Scroogeness of the Mikey show. It is unbelievable. Woods just gave me the... Oh, well. What do you want? What do you want from me? You know, Christmas for me is really more about the true meaning. Shut it. And not cards and trees. You're the worst. You're unbelievable. You know, it's the day Christ is the worst. I guess I won't send you. I'm in on that. I won't send you our Christmas card then. You saved that. That little bush. You'll save that life. That little bush that you saved. A tree. Why would you save a tree? Fine. That little shrub.
It creeps. Man. It's not about trees and presents and tinsel. It's about bush. It's about spirit. And wreaths. And cards. And gifts. And gifts. That's what cheap people say. Stop. 5701949 is our number. Santa had something else in her recap that I have got to talk about. By the way, President of the United States, Barack Obama, probably one of the most well-spoken human beings on planet Earth. But there's one word that apparently gives him trouble. And we have audio of him jacking it all up. Yes. Can you say this word without messing it up on the first try? It's not a crazy word either. Is it guacamole? It is not. It is not guacamole. We'll play the audio next.
Underneath the Christmas tree I just want you for my own More than you could ever know Daddy? This guy loves Mariah Carey. Yeah, he does. He loves Mariah Carey. Question. What? How does he get studio time? Does he pay for it? It's like a nice studio. Is he independently wealthy? His dad's like, another one? Yeah, fine. Take my checkbook. Is this going anywhere? Is this just a hobby? Yeah. I mean.
This cost me $400,000 to build this studio. So you're either going to get signed this year or I can't keep doing this. We're not going to do this every year. Dad, but I told you. I told you. It's a take time. But you're just a big internet sensation. You're not actually making any money. Dad, when you tell me. That you adopt me because you run me, right? Yes, I did. You told me one time, I'd do anything. I had a few cocktails when I told you that. That's fine, but you have to follow through and deal. Yeah, that's right, Dad. Maybe you take up a trade. Maybe you become a blacksmith. I have a trade. It's not singing. Don't say singing. Entertainer. No, you're not an entertainer. He is entertaining. You do entertain, but you don't make any money from it. He will. I'm a Mariah Carey impersonal. What is asbestos flagant? Asbestos flagant is what happens when you go up that year.
Justin Bieber started on YouTube. Yeah, Dad. You're not helping any, dear. Listen to Mom. You're not helping any at all. Mom, tell Dad. I know. You're a delicate little flower and I want to water your little... We couldn't have adopted domestically, huh? Dad. This is the best we could get. I am in that room. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, take my credit card, I guess. That's right. Listen. This microphone. is only $800,000. Great. Not a lot. You're killing me. Just a little taste. No thanks. You got to try everything once before you just say no, Sienna. I don't need to. You can't just. Sometimes you just know. You got to live. Andrew Zimmern, the guy that travels around the world and eats bizarre food, says you have to try everything twice. If you try it, a bite, and you don't like it, you have to take at least one more bite. No. Nope, nope, nope. Before you just touch my body.
I'm Mikey. That's Woods. It's Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L.O.B. That is Sienna. That is Jay. And our phone screener is Will. I just picture that guy recording that song. I picture him with one hand on his headphones, eyes closed. In the studio, fireplace in the background, looking all Christmassy. Do you think he walks out and high-fives all his buddies? He's coming in like, yeah! You mean all his buddy? I bet he wore heels. You bet he wears heels? Heels to do the all I want for Christmas is you. And that's it? Just heels? Yeah. And maybe a bow. A belt. With a bell on it. With a belt. What did you wear when you did Santa Baby? That's a great question. What did you wear? I think sweats. Whatever was on it. Why don't you be honest with us? I didn't wear anything special because nobody could see me.
But you want to get in the right... You're an actress. You want to get in the right headspace. Well, I can get in the right headspace without all the, you know... The frills? The frills. Yeah, the bells and whistles. Gets you right away. Sucks you right in. The song sucks you right in. I forgot to tell you, I sang this live on Friday night. At your birthday dinner? No. That was Saturday. At Prospect Bar and Lounge or something or other. What? There's nobody in the audience, so... My boyfriend, Matt Commerce, was like, go for it. And I did. Did you have music accompanying you? He played acoustically. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it was great. It was my first live performance of Santa Baby. I also did Jingle Bell Rock as Donald Duck. Jingle Bell Quack. That was your first live performance, but you know what? Not the last. We'll see about that.
A couple cocktails and nobody in the audience? You can't say that you do that and then not do it on the radio. No, you're never going to get away. The only person listening was Matt. Well, then don't tell us you did it. L.O.B., in case you don't know, L.O.B. is a real cute blonde. Just turned 30. She's not getting away with it. I could probably learn it on my guitar. Of course you could. We'd get Matt in here and maybe he'd perform it. Have your boyfriend behind you. Santa cutie. If you guys want to come to Prospect Bar and Lines, I'll do it for you. Santa, honey. I forgot the words. I had to pull up the lyrics on my phone. I've been there. I know. I learned it from you. 5701949. M1, Jose from Rancho Bernardo. What was the word of the day? Fireplace. Right. You stallion. You are. You are good. You got a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld for their Christmas celebration that's going on through the end of the year. And it's worth $276. And we're also throwing in a Mikey Show t-shirt. They're brand new. Thank you very much. You got to hang on the line, please. Mikey-thon is coming up in eight days. Eight days we will be embarking.
on our 28-hour marathon broadcast for Rady Children's Hospital. Better sleep a lot now. I had dreams about it last night, by the way. You did? Yep. Oh, gosh. Yep. I've had a dream about it. I've had dreams about it. I was really embarrassed of mine. I fell asleep during that. Oh, no! That can't happen. Mike didn't get mad at me. You're right. He didn't. But you know that I would. He will. Get furious at you. Would you? Yes, I would get really hurt, sad, and fearful. Really? You don't think? No. Wouldn't that be? appropriate response? Stop pushing his buttons, Woods. I don't know. It's my first time. I figured maybe you get a little leeway on your first time. What do you think? He's not going to do it. He's doing this to mess with you. He's messing with you right now. Just ignore him. Don't you think a little leeway is necessary on somebody's first Mikey-thon? Yeah. He's trying to be evil. He's just trying to get in your head. Woods can whiz in your Cheerios. He would. Woods can whiz in your Cheerios and you take a bite of it and you're like, dude, that was really messed up. And he'll be like, wasn't it? And you'll be like, for a second, you're like, am I wrong here? Because he whizzed in my Cheerios. And you go, dude, you whizzed in my Cheerios. That's messed up. And he goes, is it? And you go, isn't it? Isn't it? And he looks at you and he goes, is it? And you're like,
Holy crap, maybe it isn't. Did I take his Cheerios or something? Yeah. Should I not be eating these? Should I not be? Is this bad for me? So you finish the bowl? You're like, I guess I'm supposed to finish the bowl? All right, so here's President Obama messing up the words superfluous. They argued in effect that the experience of attending the theater was superfluous. And this is what Justice Holmes had to say. Too many people, he wrote in his dissent, The support... Let me start that over. Sorry. To many people, the support... Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. You try it when you've had 12 stitches. Or bears. Mud lights. The superfluous. Oh. And they clap. He didn't get it that time either. Superfluous. That's what he said. It's superfluous. No, it's superfluous. I say fluous. Fluous. Really? Yeah. He got it right that time. Oh, I thought it was superfluous. Superfluous. I say fluous. It's a tough one. I don't say that word. Well, right. How often do you say it? Every morning at Starbucks, right? The sugar is superfluous. What does it mean? Excessive. Excessive.
Yeah, extra. Of course it does. Yeah, I knew that. Of course. No, thank you. Just stick to really basic words. Whoever wrote that one in there is going to get in trouble. I am trying to stick to, sorry? Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I think that what we're talking about here is something that's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. No, it's superfluous. Superfluous. Not superfluous. Superfluous. Many times I think as Americans we are superfluous. I think it's superfluous. peeing in the bed right now, we need to save it. There are times where as a nation we need to pee in the bed right now. No. You're super full of yourself. And that's why I am super full of myself. Correct. Oh, wow. Sorry, good night. I'm out. Oh, President Barack Obama. Wouldn't be the first time a president mispronounced something. Oh boy, wouldn't it? We interrupt this broadcast because we have breaking news.
This is Tom Brokaw from NBC Nightly News here on FM 94.9 and the Mikey Show to bring you these breaking Facebook updates. Ted G says in his status update, people freak me out. People make me scared. People make me so damn self-aware. Wow. Robert F. In his Facebook status says, fixing to leave the office and head to the casa to see if the bottle of wine he left in the freezer is okay. Uh-oh. Man, I hope so, because I need a glass of wine. LOL. It's L-O-L. Not out loud. It says LOL. True. Stands for LOL. Once again, we interrupt this broadcast to bring you breaking Facebook status updates. I'm Tom Brukel.
Chris K. writes, who says you have to wait till hump day to have a hump day? Oh. LMAO. LMAO. Can I see that? LMAO. It's Vietnamese. It's not Vietnamese. LMAO. LMAO. Melody P. says, So many sugar cookies. I might turn into a sugar cookie. Exclamation point. I say that all the time. Once again, this is breaking news from Facebook status. Kelly J writes, birthdays, birthdays are no fun. No, no fun for anyone. Three exclamation points. And finally, Andre S. writes, I'm so bored, dot, dot, dot. Who's with me? Question mark. You really are bored. That was sweet. What's the response you're looking for? Me too. I am also. Let's hang out. Cool, man. Cool, man. Glad you did. Loser. Those are the breaking Facebook status updates here on FM 94.9 and The Mikey Show.
That's good stuff. There's so many status updates that you go, what am I like? How come there's not an unlike button? I know. It's hurtful. It's mean. I don't want it. We don't need it. We don't need it. Because God knows they would do some of mine for sure. I know. And I'd be like, is this a jerk? I'd be sad. I hate pal. If you don't like it, why don't you just not say anything? Why don't you shut up? We're all grown up little kids. So, Sienna put that her mom called her yesterday. And as I mention this, this may be a La Jolla thing. I don't know. I've never heard of it before. Tell the story. My mom called me yesterday to ask me what I thought of something because someone that she knows asked to do a house swap. As in, their family live in my parents' house and my parents... And sisters go live in their house. Do they live in like Mammoth or something? No, they live in La Jolla too. What? Yeah, they live about a mile away from my parents. So you pack clothes and you go to their house. Yeah, you stay in their furniture and their bed and their everything. And you just switch. And the reason that you do it is it's just kind of fun. Is it? It mixes things up. I don't know. And my mom's like, have you ever heard of this? And I said, no. I've only heard of it like in a holiday, like that movie, The Holiday. Like, oh, I have a...
of like a vacation spot you have a vacation spot let's switch that makes sense you go to Tahoe and we'll go to Mammoth right but a house down the street this is just like a mile away yeah just why not do it are you sure they didn't mean wife swap no that's a whole different thing no it was a woman my mom's friend okay I'm with you so far yeah stop Jay No, and she just, yeah. And I said, no, I've never heard of that before. And it made me think, is that something that people really do? Because this woman said it like, no big deal. Like, oh, can I borrow a cup of sugar? Is there one M1 listening that's ever heard of it? 570-1949. It's so fascinatingly crazy. I mean, this woman has kids, too, and enough bedrooms for my family. I mean, the houses are pretty... similar, but in different places. It's weird. The whole thing's weird. So it would get to feel like you're staying at a hotel or something? I mean, it's kind of cool. If they were to do it, it's cool. It is a little bit cool. Here's Sienna's mom. Hi, Sienna's mom. Hey, guys. How are you? So this happened to you yesterday. It's so strange. I know. Hey, is Sienna's daughter and your granddaughter Sage there? Can I talk to her?
Oh, I miss Sage. Hello. Hi, Sage. Hi, Mike. Hi, Mom. Sienna, how old is Sagey? Sagey's 14 weeks. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, 14 weeks old. Hi, Sagey. How's everybody? Good, good. Hey, is your auntie Waverly there? She's home from school. Yeah, let me talk to Waverly. No, Waverly's not school yet. Hello. Hi, Waverly. Hi, Mike. How are you doing? I'm okay. That's nice. Hey, is Avalon there? Yeah, hang on. Your sister. Let's talk to her. Hi. Hello. Hi, Avalon. How are you? I'm okay. You doing good? Yeah, we're not going to school today. We're sick. Oh, that's too bad. That's too bad. Did mom let you take off again? Yeah, again. Yeah, let me talk to your mom again and Seth. Mom! Hi, Avil. Oh, no, this is Anset. Sorry. That's that one. We are after you guys have been working together so long. I know. Sometimes it's hard to tell the voices apart. Yeah, it sounds similar. What about baby Sage one more time? Yeah, can we talk to that little darling? Hello. Hi, Sage. What? I just wanted to say hi. Sage, be polite. Oh, I'm sorry, mom. Hello, Mike. Hi. How are you? I'm good. Hey, listen, we have to wrap this up, so real quick, let me talk to Grandma again. Baby Sage would never say that. Anseth? I didn't hear what she said. All right. Let me talk to Anseth. Hang on. Ma! Grandma! Phone! There you go. Even she's confused. Hi, Anseth. How are you? I'm fine. All right. Well, thanks for weighing in on this. Okay. Appreciate it. Talk to you later. It's always nice to hear from them. I think the phones are ringing. Well, the deal is that Sienna and...
All of the girls in her family sound just like that. Yeah, they do. Yeah, Avalon has the highest voice of all of us. Waverly is just much scratchier than Mark. It is. 5701949. Have you ever heard of this? House swapping. Nope. I think I may be in on it. No. Listen, if I can swap. I don't know. Let me tell you. If I can swap houses with Dan Fields, I'll do it today. Really? Think about it. Whitney and Dan, today. I'll do it today. Really? Think about it. Oh. In, in, in, in, in. You're sleeping in their bed on their couch. Yeah, on their stuff. Dude, you don't like people touching your stuff. Weigh it out, bro. I'm weighing it out. You know what you would have to do? Move all your crap over there. No. No, you don't. That's what Sienna said. Your clothes. That's it. All your colognes and creams. It's a short stay. It's going to take you a month. What about the TV that you're used to and your sippy cup? Yeah, your sippy cup. You guys, he has a freaking movie theater. Yeah. There are people that I would absolutely like switching houses with. Yeah. I still wouldn't want to pack all my stuff. They have good snacks. I wouldn't mind packing. Yeah, you just put some clothes in a bag and you go for like a week. You'd get through those snacks for a couple days and then you'd have to replenish. You don't have good snacks. I have organic snacks. Cheese puffs. I have vegetable skins that are supposed to be chips. I've had those. They're pretty good. Freaking not.
Sugar cane soda. Yeah. Yeah. Hanson's. Disgusting. I love Hanson's. Oh. Oh my God. Tastes like. Aspartame. Yes. It tastes like the opposite of aspartame. It tastes like real sugar. I think no matter what, whenever you go to someone else's house, their food is always better. Unless it's Mikey's. Unless it's Mikey's. Well, it's like if someone makes a sandwich for you, you're like, this is so good. Yeah. What did you do? Why is it so different? Because you didn't have to do it. I make the worst sandwiches in the world. My wife makes the same sandwich, and it's delicious. Uh-huh. If she cuts it real good, my wife can cook. She can cook. Yeah. She cooks. And my wife is getting good now, man. My wife makes a spaghetti thing that she puts in a casserole dish and melts cheddar cheese on it. It's about 9,000 calories a bite, and it's the most delicious thing I've ever had. 5701-949-M1. Matt from Chula Vista, are you there? Hey. What's going on? My dad used to, he first told me about it like three years ago. I thought it was totally, what he would do is he would put...
house with someone from like Seattle or Mammoth or I think he went to London and Paris once. I've never heard of someone swapping houses in the same city. Locally, yeah. In La Jolla they do it. No, they don't. It's a big thing there. This person does it. My dad lives in La Jolla. It's a fetish. It's a key party. Thank you, Matt. With houses. Thank you for the call. M1 Jessica from San Diego. Hi. This is a housing swap. They had it on Craigslist. They have like a section for it. My family did it once. We traded our beach house for a house in Colorado in the wintertime. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Do you ever hear of doing it in the same town? Not in the same town. Vista to Vista. You know, Mission Beach to Mission Beach. Bye. That's what Sienna's talking about. Yeah. The metropolis of Missy and Valley to the metropolis of Missy and Valley. Missy and Valley. Right. M1 Jamie from Lakeside.
I thought that's how they did it when they remodel something in your house, like on the TV show. They, like, pretend, they house swap, and then when you come back, your house is remodeled or something. I don't know. I think it'd be kind of cool, though, because then you could, like, go to someone else's house, try all their things, and you're like, oh, I like this. I want to get this coffee maker. Go through all their drawers. I don't either. I don't mind that. I don't want to load my crap up. I don't want to take all my stuff. I wouldn't want to go to Jay's because he makes me take my... shoes off. Take your shoes off. It's like going to Tokyo. Yeah, Japan. Really? You take your shoes off? You do the shoe bit? Yes. I'm not like an enforcer. I'm not like, hey, you. We aren't either. Jay is. No, I'm not an enforcer. But you have hardwood floors, Jay. I don't get it. Because you walk through filth. Is this Nagasaki? Are you at a rodeo before? Why is it so dirty? People walk around in poop. Yeah, do people just come out of the rodeo? You do. Everywhere you walk on the street is filled with pee and poo. Where are you guys living? Pee and poo in the street. Is this 1876? I know. In San Diego, the average person has 17 dogs. Y'all are going to drag in hay. If you have white carpets, I get it. I do in my bedroom.
You do? A lot of traffic in there. You have what? You have what in your bedroom? It's white. It's like an off-white. White carpet? Mauve? That's not mauve. Mauve is pink. Mauve is pink. I just like that word. Both J and L-O-B. It's like you're going to Tokyo. Yeah. I'll take my shoes off. Or Hawaii. They do it there, too. A lot of Japanese influence over there. You guys are so similar, Lauren and J. I know. They really are. How about yesterday when we went to lunch? Yeah. Same thing. Jay was coming late and he said, oh, just give me what Lauren has. And I said, oh, no, here's the menu. Just look at it and tell me what you want. Whatever Lauren has. He texted me his order and it was the same thing. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. Lettuce wraps. It's hysterical. I know. It happens all the time. I'm just. You guys.
The healthiest people on the show. I'm trying to follow in their footsteps. It's making me and Woods upset. Why? Because you're leaving the team. I want the old Sienna. I'll be back. Sucking down Pop-Tarts real good with me in the morning. She won't do it. How dare you guys. Shame someone out of me. I had a baby. I'd like to get back in my jeans. I'm going into our little fridge right now and I'm going to break out that giant piece of carrot cake. Lucky for you, I don't like carrot cake. Really? If it was banana, then I'd be in trouble. The Incorporator's next, so call us with words. You call us with random words, and Woods has to incorporate them into the phone call that he's going to be making to a pawn shop. And when we come back, he'll tell us what voice he's going to use. Willie. Really? You're just going to go with it? You're just going to have to wait. You have to tune in. All right. All right. What's next? Welcome. It's the Mikey Show. If you listen to the Mikey Show, you're a big fan. It means that you're a part of something that we call M1 Nation, which is an exclusive fraternity that you're a part of. Don't forget to check out BeDifferentPacked.com. In fact, there's a few sites that we would encourage you to check out. MikeyShow.com. BeDifferentPacked.com. M1Site.com. Facebook.com slash MikeyShow.
A lot of ways to get us, isn't there? There is. What does that mean? Get some. You know, I don't think, it doesn't matter what type of music you're into. I think everybody kind of likes You Shook Me All Night Long. 100%. You're at a bar or something, you hear this like, oh yeah. I imagine that. Homeboys love. Yes. You shook me on that one. Hello, boo. They do. Incorporator coming up in just a second. But before we do the Incorporator, I want to know what's going on in the sports world. Let's do that. Do a little Woods on Sports. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods on Sports.
Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Medical Laser Center. Well, there was big news out of Denver yesterday. The Broncos have fired Josh McDaniels. He was 3-9 this season, which is not what you want if you're a Denver Broncos fan. He won his first six games as the head coach. Made some interesting moves. Got rid of Jay Cutler, got rid of Brandon Marshall, who a lot of people thought that's the future of this team. And they're both gone. Kyle Lorton's the guy now, and they're just not getting it done, man. He's 34 years old, and he's out of a job now. The interesting thing was, as I actually reported on a couple weeks ago, Pat Bolin, who's the owner, said, no, no, he's going to finish out the season. He'll be our coach in 2011. And then said... I changed my mind. Yeah, he's just not the guy, man. And they had another scandal where another assistant coach had taped a practice of the San Francisco 49ers, which is a big no-no. McDaniels didn't report it the right way. So a lot of those things, plus the record, that's why the guy doesn't have a job anymore. Yeah. So he is out.
And then yesterday, the deal to get Adrian Gonzalez was finalized by the Red Sox. Padres will get Casey Kelly, Anthony Rizzo, and Raymond Fuentes to go in exchange for Gonzo. Here's Gonzo with his new team cut, too. I'm looking forward to being able to, you know, opening day and, you know, my first fly ball that would have been an out to left field at Petco. I'm looking forward to, you know, trying to get to second base at that point. Yeah, it's great. Good luck. Why are you so... Why do you think? Maybe take a dig at Petco while you're in your new press conference, too. How come they don't create all baseball stadiums the same? It's the beauty of baseball. That's what's so fun about watching a game at Fenway. Because a fly ball, he's right. Fly ball to the left. It's an out at Petco. And in most parks, it's a double in Fenway. That's the cool thing about, you know, all football fields are the same. The exact same.
What he's saying is true. Oh, yeah, he's great. And he also said, I'm very excited to be in Boston and ready to beat the Yanks. Good luck. What? Bring it. Wow. He has to say that. Does he? Yeah, that's the bid in Boston. That's what Curt Schilling said when he was hired, too. I guess I hate the Yankees now. Oh, we hate you, too, Curt, so enjoy. Wow. The finalists for the Heisman Trophy has been announced. These four will be in New York. Cam Newton, LaMichael James, Andrew Luck, and Kellen Moore are all the finalists. It's Cam Newton's Heisman. Of course it is. If I'm the other three guys, I'm like, do I really have to go and be embarrassed on TV and pretend like I'm into it? And is he a good pro? I don't know. I don't know. I wonder if he's one of those guys that's just good in college. He's got a good arm. I mean, he's got a good arm, and he's very big and mobile. Guy looks more like a tight end than a quarterback. That's crazy. But he's an athlete, so I think he'll be fine at the next level. And then finally, Aaron Harang is the Padres' big offseason acquisition thus far. Pitched for the Reds the last seven and a half years. Last year he was 6-7 with a 5-3-2 ERA. Aaron Harang is probably going to be the ace of that staff. $4 million one-year contract. Welcome back to San Diego, Aaron Harang. He went to college at San Diego State. Oh, wow. And that is Woods on Sports.
All right, Woodsy. All right, I'm out. You have to leave the studio. It is time for the Incorporator. And when we do this, Woods has to leave. All right. For those of you that are new to the Incorporator, Woodsy leaves the room. I will read to you, the listener, the words he'll be using. We're calling a pawn shop. Woods will have a conversation. with the pawn shop and have to incorporate the words that you, the M1s, called in and listed. They'll be able to hear him, but not me as I feed him the words. He does not know these words. M1 Kaylee called in with panties. Oh, wow. Go on. M1 Lunchbox called in with lunchbox. M1 Wade called in with down under. M1 Robert called in with hippopotamus. M1 Cassidy called in with garbage truck.
M1 HQ, Zamboni. M1 Chris, minivan. M1 dog bait, carne asada. And M1 Crystal, palm tree. Those are the words that he will have to attempt to incorporate while he's talking to this pawn shop. It's not the easiest thing in the world to do, but Woods is good at it. Can I send him back in there? Because he's out here smelling up my area. Oh, boy. Brogue win. Yes, you can. Go back in, for gosh sakes. Great. Don't bring it with you. And we still don't know what voice he's going to do, huh? Yeah. I don't know what voice you're going to do. You want your first word? Woods always gets the first word. You ready? Give me my first word. The first word is panties. Oh, gross. Let's do this. The person will be able to hear Woods, but not me. He's got to incorporate these words into the company. Yes, who am I speaking with? Hey, Ben. My name is Bryce.
I have got my panties in a bunch. I'm freaking out. Christmas is 18 days away, and I haven't bought one flipping present. Lunchbox. That. You know, what I wanted to do is I have a friend, and he's just a friend. He really likes these old, they're like the old lunchbox that you used to carry when you were a kid, like Dukes of Hazzard and things like that, Wonder Woman. Do you guys have any of that vintage stuff? Yeah, that's true. Well, you know who does move very well is my friend that I'm buying for it. He used to be in The Thunder from Down Under. It's a review show in Vegas. You ever hear of it? Okay, great. Now, what about stuffed animals? I have a niece, and she really likes zoo animals, like hippopotamus, elephants, things like that. Do you have any stuffed animals? A big stuffed monkey? Well, that sounds like a treat. For the right person, of course. Well, absolutely.
Okay, great. What's the price on that? This isn't a gift. That's for myself. What could you let that go for? Monkey. Yeah, the monkey. About 18 bucks right now. 18 bucks. My God, they find it in a garbage truck? It's so cheap. It's gently used, I bet. Okay. Well, let's see here. I want to come in, and I know I'm so embarrassed. I've never actually been in. a pawn shop before. My father was a Zamboni driver. He didn't make a lot of money. I know he used to shop at pawn shops for our Christmas gift, and I think it really turned me off to it. There's a kind of a misconception, if you will, about pawn shops. Am I right? Right. Well, yeah. A lot of people think it's kind of a little lower class. It's milk is spoiled.
Okay, well, I want to definitely get shut up. I want to get some some gifts for some friends and family Yes, they do chubs Okay, well, I'm gonna load up the minivan with some friends I'm gonna come down there and I want to I want to blow some cash Okay, and okay, I'm gonna grab lunch. I'm probably gonna have a carne asada burrito with my Mexican friend Michael, and we'll be down there. You're not going with Michael. Yes, I am. Okay, we'll see you later. All right. Okay, bye-bye. Was that it? I like the way you got out of there. You had one more. You had one more. Call him back. Palm tree. Yeah, call him back. I'm sorry, palm tree. Excuse me, palm tree. I was so uncomfortable. Does it distract you when I do that? Yes!
I get so nervous when you do. Yeah. My heart races. I feel like they're going to hang up on him. I know. Oh, my gosh. That was fantastic. I like that guy's voice. Oh, dude. He was tough. He was nice, though. Oh, my gosh. He was nice. He was. He's very friendly. He didn't judge you. No. Want to make some sales. Yeah, he did. Okay. Yeah, gently used. Oh, that's for me. That's for me. You said that's to him. Get on the ball. That's. That's. All right. We need people to call us right now. What do we have for a prize that we can give away? Let's see. I have another pair of audio shoes. It's like a $60 value. I think the band is called Audio Slave. Audio Slave. Audio Shoes. What is that? It's shoes from audio. It's a brand that all the hipsters are wearing. Oh, okay. All the hipsters. It's a brand of shoes called Audio. Audio. That's cool. Yeah. That's like a $60 value. Do they play music or anything? I think it's spelled differently. A-D-I-O. Yep, Audio. All right. Okay, well, what we're going to do is drive-by, play-by-play. Okay. So what we need is we need three people to play it, and I'm going to do play-by-play that I've recorded, and you just got to listen to it, and there's going to be a question at the end.
570-1949. M1 John from Claremont, are you there? I am. All right. John, I need you to listen to this audio and pay very close attention. Well, hello again, everyone, and welcome to another edition of Drive-By Play-By-Play. This is where I will describe something, and you will have to remember it. See a young kid walking out in khaki pants and a plaid hoodie. You do not see that every day. My guess is he works at Best Buy. Or is behind the times. On my left, a blonde with shorts on. They're purple. And ahead of me, a guy in an orange sweater and orange shoes. Mikey. I also see a white guy with blonde hair that's giving gang signs to no one.
The question is, what color was the blonde guy's sweater and shoes? They were... The answer is orange. Very well done. Your winner, my friend. Hang on the line, please. Hang on the line. M1 Robert from Chula Vista. Are you there? I'm here. All right. Listen to this play-by-play and pay very close attention. All right. There is a woman to my right wearing sweatpants and a skirt over it. Never seen that. I've seen everything. I've never seen that look. She has got brown hair. There is a Mercedes pulling out of a parking space and driving towards me now. The woman that is driving the car has on Terminator glasses and white hair. To my right.
A woman wearing a black fanny pack. Gotta guess she's got bubble gum and some tweezers in there. Why else do you carry a fanny pack? Why do you carry a fanny pack? The question is, what was the make of the woman with white hair and Terminator glasses? What was the make of her car? Mercedes. Nice. The answer is Mercedes. Very well done. Wow. Very, very well done. Hang on the line. You've got some audio shoes. Hang on, okay? Yeah. I want audio shoes. M1 Vanessa from North County. Are you there? Yes. All right, Vanessa. Pay very close attention. You're our last contestant. Driving once again to my right is a woman in a long-sleeve purple shirt, something I would never wear, isn't it? Also to my right is a blonde woman wearing Kanye West glasses.
And a man that is walking with his dog. It is a German shepherd. There are two women to my left that are wearing doctor scrubs. And a very tall man. I would say he is probably about six foot four. He is carrying a baby and wearing slippers. I am not freaking kidding. He is wearing slippers. Carrying a baby. What color was a long-sleeved shirt the woman was wearing? Purple. The answer is purple. Three for three. Well done. Well done, Vanessa. Hang on the line. Thank you. It's called drive-by, play-by-play. Bores the crap out of me. I'm not sure about this bit. I'll be honest with you. Listen, I need to be funnier or something. I don't know. I think I like the old way better. I did too. I don't know. I'm going to flesh it out. Just switch it up real good on us? You know what I remember about that day I recorded that? I took too much Adderall. I don't think my brain was operating too much Adderall. You didn't sound as quick as you normally do. I was kind of slower. You know what I mean?
It's okay. Your voice sounded great. Oh, thank you. We all have bad days. I think it may have been, you know, maybe it was not so fresh or something. Anyway, Sienna, what's the sing-off? Oh, man, this is a show. Apparently, this is the second season it's been on. Never heard of it before. Nick Lachey's the host. There's three judges. Ben Folds, Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls, and Sean Stockman. Sounds like a blast. What's the idea? No, there's groups. There's 10 groups that are competing to be number one group. That's right. And there's a $100,000 prize and a Sony recording contract. So right now, I think there's like... The show premiered, the second season premiered last night, and they're just trying to compete. And it can be any kind of band, or is it like a certain type of band? No, anyone. Anything? Yeah. All right, let's listen to these dudes, L.O.B. Listen to that bass. I know. What do you think?
I'm such a sucker for acapella that I love it. And black guy. I keep waiting for the guy to go, girl, you know I love you. You know, I've always dug this. Movies that famous actors were offered a role for, but they turn it down? Yes. What role did Al Pacino most regret turning down? And, oh, by the way, what do you think Dustin Hoffman thinks about the fact that he said this? That's a little hint there. I'll tell you what it is. We'll play a clip of him saying it next. Oh, me too. Okay, so I'm going to tell you, I'm going to play you the clip of Al Pacino telling you what movie he would have been in. He was offered the part, he turned it down. Now, when you do that, though, you're basically letting whoever accepted the role know, well, listen, they wanted me. There's a turd, so I passed on it. Pass on it. They took second fiddle.
How's it feel? Yeah, how's it feel to be the guy that... Anyway. Here, have some of my chicken bones while you're painting out my scraps. That's what you meant to say, Mike. I guess you're sniffing around my garbage again. That's right. Well, I'm Mikey, that's Woods, that's L-O-B, that's Sienna, that's Jay, and our phone screener today is Will. Will. Let's see. Okay. So here is the clip of him, Al Pacino, telling the story. You regret it. Let me see. Yeah, I did. I know, doesn't it? Craig Gass sounds more like Al Pacino than Al Pacino. I don't want to embarrass anybody. That's the problem. Because, you know, you mentioned a role. But here it goes. He was asked a question. He's going to answer it. And he's being cool about it. But I realized about this role that I could have...
When I first read it, I said, no, this is, I'm not right for it. But later, when I saw it, when I saw a comic, I thought, I could do better than that crap. When I saw it, I thought, if this hack could do it. It's got a great act. Give it away now. Anyway, it doesn't matter. It was a comedy. I saw somebody doing something in a club. And I suddenly saw what I would want to do with this part. Lenny. And what happened, that was a great performance by Dustin Hoffman. It was a great performance. It was amazing. Lenny. Never saw it. Lenny Bruce. I want to. It's the story of Lenny Bruce. And Dustin Hoffman was brilliant. Killed it, I heard. He was brilliant. Al Pacino turned that down. Yeah. Weird. I love those. I love to hear what people passed on. I think it's so fascinating. They should make little snippets for like SNL. You know, they did. What it looked like. I saw one the other day. I might have talked about it, but it was Back to the Future. The original Back to the Future was not Michael J. Fox. It was Eric Stoltz. And they had old footage of him doing the same scenes. And I was like, oh, boy, that doesn't work. That doesn't work at all. So weird, yeah. Yeah, it was Eric Stoltz as Marty McFly. Oh, wow. And it just didn't. And they said when they started filming, they're like, oh, God.
This doesn't work. So they had to go to Eric Stoltz and say, it's not working, pal. We're going to get Michael J. Fox in here. Tom Selleck turned down Indiana Jones. I can't imagine him as Indiana Jones. I can. I can. I think he would be great. Harrison Ford said, I'll do it. And look at what happened. Holy cow. I know it. Tom Selleck. Tom Selleck. Love Tom Selleck. At the time, though, he was a player, man. He was a big player. Friggin' Magnum. Three men and a baby. Yeah, that's what he went on to do. Oh, boy. By the way, have all of our Facebook profiles changed yet? No. Whose has? Yours, Woods? Yeah, mine's different. Mine hasn't. Mine hasn't either. None of us. I think I might have changed it. You did it? It said at the top, try the new profile. Yeah, I think I hit it. And I ignored the button. I'm guessing Woods hit it. Do you like it, Woods? Yeah. It's fine. Yeah, it's good. You don't have an opinion one way or the other? It doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother me. I like it. I'm kind of in on it. Yeah? Yeah. Holy cow. I cannot tell you how many people commented on the stat that we gave out. Sienna was talking about how 20% of American divorces are because of Facebook. Yep. 20%. One in five.
That's a lot. Yeah. I can see that. That was from attorneys, you know, that were surveyed throughout the nation. Wow. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Anyway, if you have the new Facebook, I want to know what people think about it. I don't have it. I've seen it on other people's and I hate it. How come? It's all newfangled. She hates it. Newfangled. It's nice. I figured out how to do it and now it's like, where's this button? Where's that button? It takes a while. I can only imagine my 92-year-old grandmother trying to figure it out. Yeah. Learning curve. Yeah, but if it's better, I don't really care. It doesn't bother me. I kind of like having a little bio underneath it. I want the new one. Yeah. I want to try something new. Yeah. I enjoy it. M1 Sarah from Mira Mesa. What's up? Okay. Well, I'm actually calling because I wanted your guys' opinion on something. It's kind of my own little Facebook drama I've got going on, and I'm trying to figure out how to deal with it. Basically, I get on my computer. It's something we share, my husband and I. I go to log on to my Facebook, and apparently he's done the, you know, click me, remember me, and it instantly, it's his Facebook. And the chat is on, and at the lower part of the task bar is a conversation. And it's minimized. I'm not going to lie. I made the choice to click on it, and it was a conversation. And that's where I made my mistake.
This is like the IM thing on Facebook? Yeah, the chat feature. Well, I had to click on it because the name, I recognize the name. It's the name of his ex-wife. I've only met her twice, and she seems nice. That's what I have to say. She seems nice. But I click on it, and I read the conversation, and it wasn't anything big. It was just kind of surface things. I think what aggravated me and where I have a problem and why I'm calling you guys is the conversation was like an hour and 47 minutes. That's a conversation. It was like an hour and 47 minutes. I mean, that's just a guess. It's just a guess. Around an hour and 47 minutes. And 37 seconds.
And this is from a husband that if he were unemployed, it wouldn't bother me. If all he did was stay on Facebook, it wouldn't bother me. But this is coming from the man that he can't make it to date night because he's so busy at work. We can't stay home and watch a movie or have dinner on time because he's so incredibly busy. And every minute matters. They didn't say anything salacious? Inappropriate? No, actually. The time is inappropriate though, right? An hour and 47 minutes. That's a long time. That's a long time to be talking to your ex-wife and to not mention anything about it to me. And like partially, I'm not going to lie, I think maybe it's a trap. But then secondly, I feel like I'm one in those one in five. I feel like this is the start of something. Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean a trap set up? Oh, that he was setting you up to see if you would read it?
Yeah. That's pretty involved. I mean, it's just my opinion. I think that'd be pretty... Go ahead. We've had issues with Facebook before. You know, where people like, and he got off the hook because apparently it was spam and it was, you know, porn spam and that kind of thing. But of course, you know, you never know. It's porn spam on. Yeah, there's, you know, I get some weird ones every now and then. It'll be some smoking hot chick. Like a friend request. And you're like, you look at it. She has no friends in common. 12 friends, and you're like, really? You just click ignore. But yeah, you can see. I got one the other day that was a totally nude girl. She was no clothes on, and I was like, what? Nude? He's like, jackpot. And I was like, no. Except. No. Private message. Private message, obviously. I want to know, was the conversation, was it really long, like it had been an hour and 47 minutes? Or was it like maybe he was going on and off, chatting with her and doing other stuff? No, it was pretty back and forth. I think, you know, and I...
So, like, he was doing exclusively that for that long. Yeah. There was, like, maybe a three-minute delay. Oh, boy. Like, the longest delay. Yeah. So, I mean, it was pretty end-depth. Yeah, that's not good. That's not good. That's not good. Yeah. You know, sometimes I get caught in a chat on there just because I'm trying to be nice. Like, everybody wants to talk, and I'm just like, all I want to do is work, and I'm, like, trying to go. I've got to go. For two hours. For two hours. Yeah. And then it's an X. Maybe turn off the chat feature. I did. I need to do that. Yeah, you can do that. This isn't crazy psycho wife syndrome? No, I don't think so. I mean, I think anybody would... What? Woods is holding his fingers up like a little bit of psycho. How would you feel if Jamie talked on the phone to her ex for two hours? I would hate it. So how is it any different? I would hate it. He would hate it if it was the exact same situation on Facebook. Can you tell who initiated the conversation? I think she did, actually. Oh, there you go. Of course she did. He's off the hook. And he mentioned me. But I mean, it was way too cordial. And the fact that it's an hour and a half and I have to squeeze five minutes out of him to hang out or go to dinner. That's tough. I think that this is one of those things where it's like, pick your battles. I don't think he said anything that bad. I totally would be annoyed. I absolutely see where you're coming from. But if he didn't say anything bad and he doesn't have a past of stuff like this, or if he acts sketchy,
Other places, maybe? You know, if he, this is, the thing that's weird about it is the hour 47. Yeah. That's a long time. It's an awful long time. And, you know, some people are people pleasers. Yeah. And it's very difficult for them to say no because they're people pleasers. Yep. And it could be that your husband is a people pleaser and he just didn't know how to say, hey, listen, I got split. Because she'll see that he's actually not gone and be like, really? And he can't take it. He could have walked away from the computer. What do you mean? Just walk away. What if he's there, though? He's doing stuff. He could have X'd out Facebook. Yeah. Do I, next time I'm on there, get on and block her? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't, don't do anything. Yeah. Don't do anything. Do I report her as spam? Yeah. Guys, should I tell the police that she's a criminal? I would full on talk to him about it though. I would definitely ask him. I would say, Hey, you know, I got on the other day and I was, honestly, I was just looking and I saw her name at the bottom of the thing. And devil's advocate. His bit's going to be, he's going to say anything good.
He's going to go, wait, first of all, you went onto my Facebook, you read my chat. Absolutely, left it open. Second of all, what'd you find? Yeah, I found out that you've been talking to him. And he's going to go, but I would say a word. Exactly. I saw you talking for an hour 47. Yeah, I got caught. I got trapped in there, and I didn't, you know, I wasn't saying anything. I love you. He deserves the chance to explain. Yeah, be devil's advocate. Okay. You got trapped? Yeah, she was wanting to talk about stuff. I think she needs somebody to talk to, and obviously we have a history, but it's not like that. Well, it wasn't. I mean, I read it. I know you read it, which is badass, by the way. Thanks. You know what else is badass? An hour and 47 with your ex? Yeah, I got caught, man. Sorry. I didn't mean to. I know you got caught. That's why I'm asking you. No, I don't mean you caught me, Magnum. Oh, really? No, you meant that you were in some sort of trap that you couldn't get out of. Listen, murder she wrote. She kept asking me questions. I kept answering. Yeah, listen, Brad Pitt. Why are you leaving your wife for your ex? I'm not. Oh, my God. I'm not. Are you crazy? Listen. I don't think. You don't go on for an hour and 47 minutes and get trapped. No. I mean, maybe he was just being polite or whatever. But if it makes her uncomfortable and they're married, she should be open enough to say, hey, I don't really like that. Do you have any reason that you're doing that? Or is there anything more I need to know?
What? I don't know. Maybe you want to talk to her. You talked to your wife. What? I'm just saying. I mean, you never know. I don't know. She has every right to be mad. See, that's what she thinks. Yeah, I do too. I don't know. You just didn't say it. He's going to be mad. But they have to be honest. It's going to eat away at her. Oh, you've got to say something. But I'm telling you, it ain't going to be pretty. It's not. 570-1949 if you have any experience with it. Thank you for the call, Sarah. Good luck. No, absolutely. Thank you, guys. Thanks. 570-194-9. I wouldn't... Hey, there's none of us listening that would be cool. Yeah. No way. With our spouse talking for an hour 47. There's movies shorter than that. Yeah. Yeah. Like, really? It's true. That's a long time. Yeah, you can't sit down and have a half an hour dinner with me, but you can talk to Susie McExington for an hour 47. I wonder if they have kids. If they have kids, does it make it any better? Yes, I think it does. Why? Because they have kids. They have, like...
Common ground. If they were talking about the kid for that long and there was a problem, I would understand it. Yeah, that would make sense. But not like just for no reason. That would be the only reason I would let them talk. And I think the worst part about it is that the guy doesn't have any time for her. That's pretty, yeah, that's bad. Yeah, I mean time, but he's got time to sit for two hours. Yeah, exactly. You're kind of dead meat. Maybe adjust your priorities. M1 Paul from Carlsbad. Hey, how's it going? I'm Mikey Show. Love you guys. Thank you, bro. You know, this guy needs to have some hedges. He might have had a pass, but now it's time to make a break. And he needs to be just completely up front with his wife. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think she should confront him with it? Yeah. I mean, you know, if there's nothing going on, he can have a solid conversation. She's, you know, my wife does the same thing. She'll go through my Facebook and I'm fine with it. And if there's someone communicating with me that I'm uncomfortable with, I'm up front with her. Yeah. I don't know if my wife does. She could. She's got... You know, I'm signed in. And so she can look at it whenever she wants. But if she does, I don't know about it. Would it bother you? No. It would not bother me at all. Me neither. Todd doesn't know how to use Facebook. Well, Todd's not allowed to have a Facebook. But he goes on mine all the time. Would it bother you if Jamie signed on to your Facebook? No, and I do Facebook in front of her.
Like, I don't care. I have nothing to hide. I know you do it in front of her, but would it be okay for her to sign on to your Facebook while you're on? Yeah, because I wouldn't do that to her. Yeah, because you wouldn't do that to her. Yeah, I wouldn't. I don't need her password. I trust her. That's trust. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But would it be okay for her? If she had to do it, sure. If she was like, give me your Facebook password, I'd go, there you go. It's her freaking name, followed by a couple of numbers. So, have a bowl. So, you know what I mean? That's cute. So, I mean, literally, my thing is, I don't do it to you. If you're dying to see it, come on. Because that's what's going to happen to me. You're going to ask me for it. That's a violation of trust right there. Even you asking me. I'm going to be like, what do you think is going on? Well, she didn't have to ask you for the password. If she did it behind my back, yeah, I'd be upset. Do you stay signed in? Yeah. We both have Macs. Yeah. And when we're... Watching TV or whatever. We're both on our Facebooks or whatever. I'm not like, oh, let me see yours and you take mine. No, I know. But when you leave. Yeah. Oh, I'll leave it and go poop or whatever. Do you log out? No, I never log out. I never even minimize. I'll leave it up. I don't care. I have nothing to hide. Yeah. Old Woods probably would have cared. I don't really care. M1 Sarah from University Heights. Hey, so she can't. No, she cannot check.
with him and see whether or not he's okay with it. How come? Because, all right, here's the deal. I think he left it up because like a few of you guys, he doesn't care. Doesn't matter for him. But if she makes a deal out of this hour and 47-minute conversation when there is nothing there, then he's going to be like, why? Did you expect to find something? Isn't there something there, though, Sarah? Isn't an hour and 47 something there? For a guy who has no time? Yeah, I see what she's saying, though. I do, too. Don't you think? No, I see what you're saying, exactly. Yeah, but go ahead. Okay, so here's the thing. He's like a guy who, like, time means everything to him. He's always doing this. He's always keeping track of each minute. Who's to say that he didn't have, like, five different things open and that he wasn't, like, balancing? you know, the bank account, that he wasn't doing some research for work. Paying bills. And the ex-wife pops up, and she's like, hey, what's going on? He's like, not much. How are you? Now, wait a minute. My life is good. Now, I get that. I get that, but an hour and 47 minutes? I get really frustrated with these chats. Well, yeah, sure, but, you know, it's the ex-wife, and maybe he's not a terrible person. Maybe he doesn't want to be like, don't you know we're an ex?
For an hour and 47 minutes? Isn't it a violation of... Of his trust, though? Absolutely it is. It's not. It is. Because, check it out, he left the computer open because he's got nothing to hide. Yeah, that's true. And he's like, what did you want? What were you expecting to find? But it is a violation of his trust. She did go through his stuff and she would have to admit to that. And she said, I made the conscious decision to open it. That's an apology that needs to be made. And, you know, she can't be, that can't be a regular occurrence that she does. It's going to make him mad. It's going to make him mad. And he may be testing her. He may be testing her and saying, I want to see if she likes to sniff around. Why aren't you loud? Who cares? She'd absolutely be loud. There's nothing to find, though. So then he might be like, I'm sorry I made you feel that way, babe. There's absolutely nothing. I mean, it could be as simple as, I'm sorry, I won't have hour and 47 long conversations. True. I'm sure the time didn't even occur to him. Yeah, I'm sure. Didn't even occur to him. And I think that if he was doing something bad.
He would know not to leave that up. If my wife said, hey, I was reading your inbox on Facebook and I saw this one from someone and it said blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that kind of concerned me. My reaction isn't like you were looking at my inbox. It's not. No. And the reason that it isn't is because what do I care? Right. If I'm not doing anything. Isn't that weird, though? That's not a little weird to you, the fact that she goes, hey, I was in your inbox. Why? Unless you openly agree that you can be in each other's inbox. Listen, here's my take on it. I was talking to a porn star, okay? We're talking to a porn star. Was going to have lunch with this porn star. I was going to take my wife if I talked to her.
You know, if I talked to a porn star. In person. Yeah, in person. Ended up talking to her on the phone, and my wife knew that I was talking to her on the phone and could have listened to the entire conversation. Right, man, but you were giving her the testimony part of it. It's not, you know, if Rebecca just came to you and goes, hey, I was in your inbox, that doesn't seem a little odd to you? What if she said to me? Wouldn't you ask why? Yeah, let me put it this way. What if this porn star's name is Diane? Okay. And my wife goes, hey, I used your phone and I saw a text from someone named Diane. Right. I don't know who Diane is. Right. I would go, oh, she's a porn star. Right. And the reason that I would is because if I'm living in the truth, I don't have an issue with that. In fact, you can continue to do that. Sure. I mean, it's kind of like, hey, I was looking in your drawers. and I found a sawed-off shotgun. What do I got a sawed-off shotgun for? Exactly. But if she goes, I was looking in your drawers, and I found a pair of underwear, and they made me laugh. I didn't know you had Nemo underwear. I go, oh, yeah, I got a pair of Nemo underwear. Sure, I get that. But you talk about living in the truth. What reason would somebody have to go in somebody else's inbox other than to look around for something that they probably don't like?
Let's say that there was a reason. For instance. So-and-so left their number, told me they left their number for me, or told me that they left their number. I can't find their number, and they said that they gave it to you. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and take a look. Yeah, it's in your inbox. Right, take a look. Here you go. You ask me. You don't just go in there. I would think that'd be weird. But if they came to the understanding a while ago that I don't care if you're in mine, I don't care. I wouldn't. I wouldn't even. I wouldn't call Rebecca and be like, hey, babe, is it cool? Oh, I would. I'd be like, babe, can I look in your phone to get this number? I really would. I honestly would. Oh, no way. And what if she goes, no? Well, I'd be like, well, that's weird. Why don't you just give me the number? It's weird that you have to ask. Yeah. No, you cannot. No, you cannot. It's just a matter of. It's a different dynamic. Yeah, it's a different dynamic. I mean, I fart on my wife's head. You don't. You think that's the weirdest thing you've ever heard. Everybody has different dynamics. Yeah, it's true. Like, if you farted in front of. of your wife, you'd probably move out. Or if your wife farted in front of you. I'd move out. You would move out. I will go to Jamie while she's reading the paper and go. It would gross me out. Exactly. So, different dynamics. Kim and I are an open book. It's an open book. It's like, I can go on any account she has anywhere. And, you know, if Jamie wanted to go through all my stuff, I would go, here's my phone, my computer. But she has to ask. But I would say, have a ball, Magnum. Do what you gotta do. I would never say that. See, I would. Yeah. That's our dynamic.
You're just like me. No, I mean, no, I know all the Todd stuff. Todd doesn't have anything. He's not allowed to. Well, no, but like his email, like I know all that, but I would never just go look, you know? If he had a Facebook, you would? I wouldn't just go look, no. No, but I don't know. I see Mike's point of view because if Todd did that to me and looked through my inbox, I would care less. You wouldn't think it was weird if you walked home and he was going through your inbox. No, in fact, the other day he was sitting on the computer, because he doesn't have Facebook, so he'll go on mine sometimes. And he said, oh, so-and-so sent you a message. And I was like, oh, and he had read the message. And it was from a guy. It was harmless. But he was like, oh, he said he wants to look at your butt. Or, you know, something like to try to be like. But you guys have already established it. That wouldn't be harmless to me, by the way. I would say, you tell that creep. No, he didn't really say that. Todd just made it up to get a reaction. But you guys already set that standard that it's okay for him to be in your Facebook. Oh, I'll get emails on my email while I'm here at work that say, babe, I'm writing from your computer. Yeah. And she's on my email. Oh, dude, absolutely. I mean, there have been times when Jamie didn't have a Mac yet. I'd be like, here, take mine. Do what you got to do. Go ahead, Magnum. Have at it. Have at it, Magnum. But it's logged out of everything anyway. Yeah. I changed my password, so have a ball.
Oh, my gosh. I love this song. The Michael Jackson album, I think, is out today, right? Isn't it out today? Because I got a ton of clips. I didn't see any new releases. I don't do new releases anymore. I do, but I didn't see it on that. I have a bunch of clips. Unreleased material. I bet you it's next week. Well, we got previews. We'll find out. Yeah, you can hear what you think it sounds like. I'll do some investigating. All right. What do you mean? Here's the deal. Pull back the curtain. We get water here delivered from, who is it? Arrowhead? Yeah. Delicious. We run out all the time. Part of the reason we run out is because you fill up a bottle, you take a swallow out of it, and then you leave it. Yeah. And then it gets thrown away. So now I'm drinking your water from yesterday. It's weird. It's so gross. Drink your water. Drink your water. Gosh.
It didn't even have a lid on it. It was sitting out on it. Oh, it's water. You guys. You guys. Yes. Last week, when we had the Secret Service guys in. Oh, this is crazy. This is crazy. They left. And out of nowhere, Woods goes, you ever just drink an old guy's water? And he was, the guy left his water cup there. The little cup. And Woods just took it. Gulped it down. Woods doesn't care who's it was. He'll just take whatever and just drink it. The old guy could have had his dentures floating in it first. Absolutely. You ever just drink an old guy's water? Man. Oh my gosh. That killed you guys. I laughed so hard. I couldn't believe that he did it. I looked over and he's gulping at somebody else's old water cup. Old man saliva. Yes. Delicious. Oh, and by the way. He's got a little Secret Service in him now. By the way, I usually drink my water. That was from this morning. Did you say usually? Okay, wait. I'll leave. Sometimes I'll leave about a quarter. If by a quarter, you mean three quarters. It's usually about three quarters. Floaters left around here. Oh, are there floaters in there, you think? Probably. Yeah, duh. How could there not be?
It's like a dead bottle waste yard out here where Mikey just leaves bottles laying around. Say it. Can't say it. I couldn't get it out. Say it. There we go. 5701949. We're going to do TomTom tunes in just a second. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L.O.B. That's Sienna. That's Jay. And screening phones today as well. That's Will. Let's see. You want to do some new releases and then TomTomTunes? Let me just make sure everybody is on the line and ready to go. M1 Audie from Bay Park. You're here for TomTomTunes, right? Yes. All right. Hang on the line, okay? Because we're going to do some new releases and then we'll do that, okay? Thanks. Hang on. M1 Sarah, can you hang with me? Yes. All right. Hang on. M1 Juan, can you hang? Yep. Okay, cool. All right. New releases. What do we got? Daft Punk, they are doing the Tron Legacy soundtrack. Sounds cool. Yeah. You in on seeing Tron? Jeff Bridges is in it? Yes. Just because of him? Yes. Jeff Bridges is in it. Yes. Bad Blake as Tron. Dude, Jeff Bridges is in it.
You want to be a nerd with me? Yeah. You want to ride my drawn-up car? You want to program a computer? You want to drive around all blue? Oh, this one here. Deadmau5. 4 times 4 equals 12. What the hell is this stuff? Deadmau5. Everybody knows Deadmau5. Do they? Yeah. It's getting big. Here it goes. Build up. Everybody knows Deadmau5. Yeah. Candy cane necklace real good. 100. I need a whistle. I'm exhausted. Four times four does not equal 12. Exactly. FYI. This one's more up your alley, Miguel. Hinder. Don't be a D. All-American Nightmare. All-American Nightmare. Rocks. Why don't you play the Hinder card? Yeah. Play the Hinder card. You're out. It's all right, Woods. There's one for you. Adam Lambert, Acoustic Live. So what do you want for me? For you to take that lipstick off.
For you to remove the mascara? More than likely. Kid's trying. It's trying. The kid's making a jillion dollars. I know. He's doing better than trying. But he's playing the guitar. We don't know that. We don't know that he's playing the guitar. We don't. It's not on video. It's not like an unplugged or something? Well, it is, but I don't know that he's playing it. Kid's trying. The Plain White Tease, Wonders of the Younger. I liked it better the first time when it was called Train. Yeah. This is in a commercial. Train. It sounds like Train. It sounds like Train. No, but it's in a commercial that's on TV right now. It's not McDonald's. I don't even have TV and I know that. Redman. Reggie.
Call me Pimp Nuts. Yeah. On a chick's butt. I can't tell you how many times I've said that. I know. I saw his Cribs episode. Did you guys ever see that? Oh my gosh. It was hilarious. Pretty nice house. It was like... A condo in Newark, New Jersey. And he was just like, it is where we keep stuff. No, it was not nice at all. It wasn't? No. Jessica Simpson, happy Christmas. I downloaded this for free. Okay. I paid too much. It was on iTunes for free. Someone should have paid you to listen to it. She's on Ellen DeGeneres' label, and it's because everyone else dropped her. And let me tell you something. You guys know me. If I liked it, I'd say, Hey, sue me. Sorry, I like it. It's terrible. Oh, no. This isn't the one I downloaded. Here it is. Here's the one that I downloaded for free. I was already out. I was already like, I don't like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, they have software to make it sound like that. It's true. Robin Trower, The Playful Heart.
I have such eggs. Yeah. Yes. Life is difficult. Workout music, eh? A little different. Woods isn't mad at it. No, that's all right. And then L-O-B-T-I, No Mercy. Oh, yeah. I'll drive to that. I like it. I wouldn't buy it, but I like it. Yeah. And out on DVD today, Miguel. Inception. In a world. Yes. In a movie that nobody can understand. Everybody can understand it. Another movie called Barry Monday is out. Don't know what that is. Restrepo, which we talked about last week, is out. And Shrek in 3D. Forever after. Also.
I didn't know this, but the Twilight Sucker came out on Friday at midnight, Eclipse. Huh, you didn't know that one. I didn't know that. I have not seen it yet. May watch it this afternoon. Woods, I want you for a very, very specific mission. Okay. You're going to get inside Lauren O'Brien's dreams. Okay. You see, but you're not just going to be in her dreams. You're going to be an architect. Okay. You're going to create her dreams. Sounds a little confusing. What part of what I just said sounded confusing? Since we're humans and I can't really climb inside her dreams. That's kind of confusing. This is the way we're going to do it. Oh, is this fantasy? No, it's not fantasy. This is the future. You know, we've figured out how to do crap like this. Okay. I'm going to put some kind of serum together that'll make her go to sleep. Oh, okay. And then when she's asleep, you get in there and you tell her she likes black guy.
I already did that. You did? Yeah. Okay. Now tell her she likes meat. Tell her she likes meat. Why would you do that? Monsters? She likes black guys and meat. Weird. The two don't need to be mutually exclusive. In a world where a white girl likes black guys with meat. Wow. Easy. Lauren O'Brien stars in Conception. Conception. Yes, I'll go see that. Conception. You see, we're going to get inside her dreams, and she falls in love with the Knicks. Already done. Okay, we get inside her dreams, and she falls in love with the Bulls. In. She's already in. What about the Philadelphia Eagles? The Philadelphia Eagles.
This summer, L.O.B. Conception. Sold me while I whip this house. Isn't that the baddest music, though? That's from Inception. That's really cool music. That's out today. Darn it. They ripped off, you know, there's a new Reebok commercial where they show these dudes playing basketball in slow motion and you hear this. That's from Inception. It's all. Woods won't see it. I'll see it. He'll see it now. Reminds me of like Requiem for a Dream. It's creepy. I feel like I'm going to fall asleep when I watch it though. I feel like it's going to be too heavy for me. Nope. Listen to this. We just need to work on getting the same deal that Howard Stern got. And then maybe in a couple of years, you know. For sure. You can make movies. Make movies. Alright, let's do some TomTom tunes.
You recognize them right away. Tom Tom tunes. They're never quite the same. La la la. The lyrics are read by the Tom Tom girl. She can get directions anywhere in the world. But now she's gonna reverse. Let's see how many of you are musical. Okay, so the way that Tom Tom tunes works is she's gonna read the lyrics. You gotta tell us title or artist. You got 20 seconds. I'll give you 20 seconds to do this. This is M1 Audie from Bay Park. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Okay, Audie, here goes the TomTom girl. Some boys kiss me. Some boys hug me. I think that they are okay if they do not give me proper credit. I just walk away. They can beg and they can plead. Okay. You got it? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. He's messing around. Proper.
I'm impressed. Yes, great job. Hang on the line, please, Audie. M1 Sarah from El Cajon, are you ready to play? Yes. All right, you have 20 seconds, and if you know the song, just say your name, okay? Okay. Here we go. I heard you crying loud all the way across town. You have been searching for that someone, and it is me out on the prowl as you sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Well, do not get lonely now. and dry your winding eyes. I am just roaming for the moment, sleazing back my... Title or artist is all you need, Sarah. I have no idea. That was Green Day, When I Come Around. So hard to get in. I had no idea what that was. You're hard to understand, TomTom girl. You're hard to talk to, Mikey. Sorry about that, Sarah. You gave it your best shot. Thank you.
M1 Juan from San Diego. You ready to give it a try? I'm ready. You got 20 seconds. Here we go. As he came into the window, it was the sound of a crescendo. He came into her apartment. He left the bloodstains on the carpet. She ran underneath the table. He could see she was unable. So she ran into the bedroom. She was struck down. It was her doom. Annie, are you okay? I need title or artist, Juan. Michael Jackson, Smooth Criminal. Wow. That's so hard. This is so hard. That is tough. Sorry about that, Juan. You gave it your best shot. You're Juan in a million. It's a one in a million chance. It's a one in a million chance. So then she would fall in love with Antonio Gates. How about LaShawn McCoy?
LaShawn Muck at the same time. Starring Taye Diggs. All right, I got an in and out. In or out, holiday edition. The way that it works is I am going to give you whatever it is, and you just decide, we are going to decide as a group whether we're in or out on this thing. Yeah. What did Kathy Griffiths say to the troops that got her booed? Oh, boy. I mean booed. Oh, no. I'm not a fan, but... Apparently neither are our troops. I'll play you the clip. Brace yourself. What do you mean? Here's the deal. Pull back the curtain. We get water here delivered from, who is it? Arrowhead? Yeah. Delicious. We run out all the time. Part of the reason we run out is because you fill up a bottle, you take a swallow out of it, and then you leave it. And then it gets thrown away. So now I'm drinking your water from yesterday. It's weird. It's so gross.
Drink your water. Drink your water. Gosh. It didn't even have a lid on it. It was sitting out on it. Oh, it's water. You guys. You guys. Yes. Last week when we had the Secret Service guys in. Oh, this is crazy. This is crazy. They left. And out of nowhere Woods goes, you ever just drink an old guy's water? And he was, the guy left his water cup there. The little cup. And Woods just took it. Gulped it down. Woods doesn't care who's it, he'll just take whatever and just drink it. The old guy could have had his dentures floating in it first. Absolutely. You ever just drink an old guy's water? Man. Oh my gosh. That killed you guys. I laughed so hard. I couldn't believe that he did it. I looked over and he's gulping at somebody else's old water cup. Old man saliva. Yes. Delicious. Oh, and by the way. He's got a little Secret Service in him now. By the way, I usually drink my water. That was from this morning. Did you say usually? Okay, wait. I'll leave. Sometimes I'll leave about a quarter. If by a quarter, you mean three quarters. It's usually about three quarters. Floaters left around here. Oh, are there floaters in there, you think? Probably. Yeah, duh. How could there not be?
It's like a dead bottle waste yard out here where Mikey just leaves bottles laying around. Say it. Can't say it. I couldn't get it out. Say it. There we go. 5701949. We're going to do TomTom tunes in just a second. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L.O.B. That's Sienna. That's Jay. And screening phones today as well. Let's see. You want to do some new releases and then TomTomTunes? Let me just make sure everybody is on the line and ready to go. M1 Audie from Bay Park. You're here for TomTomTunes, right? Yes. All right. Hang on the line, okay? Because we're going to do some new releases and then we'll do that, okay? Thanks. Hang on. M1 Sarah, can you hang with me? Yes. All right. Hang on. M1 Juan, can you hang? Yep. Okay, cool. All right. New releases. What do we got? Daft. Punk, they are doing the Tron Legacy soundtrack. Sounds cool. Yeah. You in on seeing Tron? Jeff Bridges is in it? Yes. Just because of him? Yes. Jeff Bridges is in it. Yes. Bad Blake as Tron. Dude, Jeff Bridges is in it. You want to be a nerd with me? Yeah. You want to ride my drawn-up car? You want to program a computer? You want to drive around all blue? Oh, this one here. Deadmau5. 4 times 4 equals 12.
What the hell is this stuff? Deadmau5. Everybody knows Deadmau5. Do they? Yeah, it's getting big. Here it goes. Build up. Everybody knows Deadmau5. Yeah. Candy cane necklace real good. 100. I need a whistle. I'm exhausted. 4 times 4 does not equal 12. Exactly. FYI. This one's more up your alley, Miguel. Hinder. Don't be a D. All American Nightmare. I like it. All American Nightmare. Rocks. Why don't you play the Hinder card? Yeah. Play the hinder card. You're out. It's all right, Woods. There's one for you. Adam Lambert, Acoustic Live. So what do you want? For you to take that lipstick off. For you to remove the mascara. More than likely. Kid's trying. Kid's trying. Kid's making a jillion dollars. I think he's doing better than trying. But he's playing the guitar, too. We don't know that. We don't know that he's playing guitar. We don't. It's not a video.
It's not like an unplugged or something? Well, it is, but I don't know that he's playing it. The Plain White Tease, Wonders of the Younger. I liked it better the first time when it was called Train. This is in a commercial. Train. It sounds like Train. No, but it's in a commercial that's on TV right now. It's not McDonald's. I don't even have TV and I know that. Red Man. Hello, boo. Reggie.
Call me pimp nuts. Yeah. On a chick's butt. I can't tell you how many times I've said that. I know. I saw his Cribs episode. Did you guys ever see that? Oh, my gosh. It was hilarious. Pretty nice house. It was like a condo in Newark, New Jersey. And he was just like, it is where we keep stuff. No, it was not nice at all. It wasn't? No. Jessica Simpson, happy Christmas. I downloaded this for free. I paid too much. It was on iTunes for free. Someone should have paid you to listen to it. She's on Ellen DeGeneres' label, and it's because everyone else dropped her. And let me tell you something. You guys know me. If I liked it, I'd say, hey, sue me. Sorry, I like it. It's terrible. Oh, no. This isn't the one I downloaded. Here it is. Here's the one that I downloaded for free. I was already out. I was already like, ew, I don't like it. Isn't that... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, they have software to make it sound like that. It's true. Robin Trower, The Playful Heart. I have such eggs. Yeah. Yes. Life is difficult. Workout music, eh?
I'm different. Woods isn't mad at it. No, that's all right. And then L-O-B-T-I, No Mercy. Oh. Oh, yeah. I'll drive to that. I like it. I wouldn't buy it, but I like it. Yeah, I agree. And out on DVD today, Miguel. Yeah. Inception. Oh. In a world. Yes. In a movie that nobody can understand. Everybody can understand it. Another movie called Barry Monday is out. Don't know what that is. Restrepo, which we talked about last week, is out. And Shrek in 3D. Forever after. Also, I didn't know this, but the Twilight Sucker came out on Friday at midnight. Eclipse. Huh, you didn't know that one. I didn't know that. Have not seen it yet. May watch it this afternoon. Woods, I want you for a very, very specific mission. Okay. You're going to get inside Lauren O'Brien's dreams. Okay. You see, but you're not just going to be in her dreams. You're going to be an architect. Okay. You're going to create her dreams. Sounds a little confusing. What part of what I just said sounded confusing? Since we're humans and I can't really climb inside her dreams. That's kind of confusing. This is the way we're going to do it. Oh, is this fantasy?
No, it's not fantasy. This is the future. You know, we've figured out how to do crap like this. Okay. I'm going to put some kind of serum together that will make her go to sleep. Oh, okay. And then when she's asleep, you get in there and you tell her she likes black guys. I already did that. You did? Yeah. Okay. Now tell her she likes meat. Tell her she likes meat. Why would you do that, monsters? She likes black guys and meat. Weird. The two don't need to be mutually exclusive. In a world where a white girl likes black guys with meat. Wow. Easy. Lauren O'Brien stars in Conception. Conception. Yes, I'll go see that. Conception. You see, we're going to get inside her dreams and she falls in love. with the Knicks. Already done. Okay, we get inside her dreams and she falls in love with the Bulls. In. She's already in. What about the Philadelphia Eagles? Philadelphia Eagles. Sold. This summer. L-O-B. Inception. Sold me while I whip this house. Isn't that the...
Baddest music, though. That's from Inception. That's really cool music. That's out today. They ripped off, you know, there's a new Reebok commercial where they show these dudes playing basketball in slow motion, and you hear this. That's from Inception. It's all. Woods won't see it. I'll see it. He'll see it now. Reminds me of, like, Requiem for a Dream. It's creepy. I feel like I'm going to fall asleep when I watch it, though. I feel like it's going to be too, like, heavy for me. Nope. Listen to this. Some cool stuff to do. We just need to work on getting the same deal that Howard Stern got. Yeah. And then maybe in a couple of years, you know. For sure. You can make movies. Make movies. All right, let's do some Tom Tom tunes. You may think with songs you're super. You recognize them right away. Tom Tom tune quite a... La la la. The lyrics are read by the Tom Tom girl. She can give you directions and now she's gone. Okay, so the way that TomTom Tunes works is she's going to read the lyrics. You've got to tell us title or artist. You've got 20 seconds. I'm going to give you 20 seconds to do this. This is M1 Audie from Bay Park. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Okay, Audie, here goes the TomTom girl.
Some boys kiss me. Some boys hug me. I think that they are okay if they do not give me proper credit. I just walk away. They can beg and they can plead. Okay. You got it? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. He's correct. He's not messing around. Proper. I'm impressed. Yes. Great job. Hang on the line, please. Audi. M1 Sarah from El Cajon. Are you ready to play? Yes. All right, you have 20 seconds, and if you know the song, just say your name, okay? Okay. Here we go. I heard you crying loud all the way across town. You have been searching for that someone, and it is me out on the prowl as you sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Well, do not get lonely now, and dry your winding eyes. I am just roaming for the moment, sleazing back my...
Title or artist is all you need, Sarah. No idea. That was Green Day, When I Come Around. So hard to get these. I had no idea what that was. You're hard to understand, TomTom girl. You're hard to talk to, Mikey. Sorry about that, Sarah. You gave it your best shot. Thank you. M11 from San Diego. You ready to give it a try? I'm ready. You got 20 seconds. Here we go. As he came into the window, it was the sound of a crescendo. He came into her apartment. He left the bloodstains on the carpet. She ran underneath the table. He could see she was unable. So she ran into the bedroom. She was struck down. It was her doom. Annie, are you okay? I need title or artist, Juan.
Michael Jackson, Smooth Criminal. Wow. That's so hard. This is so hard. That is tough. Sorry about that, Juan. You gave it your best shot. You're one in a million. It's a one in a million chance. It's a one in a million chance. So then she will fall in love with Antonio Gates. How about LeSean McCoy? Starring. Taye digs. All right, I got an in and out. In or out, holiday edition. The way that it works is I am going to give you whatever it is, and you just decide, we're going to decide as a group whether we're in or out on this thing. Yeah. What did Kathy Griffiths say to the troops that got her booed? Oh, boy. I mean booed. Oh, no. I'm not a fan, but apparently neither are our troops.
I'll play you the clip. Brace yourself. I'm going to play you what Kathy Griffin said to the troops that got her booed. I'm going to do In-N-Out Holiday Edition. 5701949 is our number. This was at Divas Salute the Troops. Mikey. Here's what happened. Let's talk about dancing with the stars. Dancing with the stars. Yes. Yes. Nails on chocolate. It is, man. It's like when Hillary Clinton was campaigning and she was going, oh my gosh. Oh, the screaming already. Terrible. Come on. You're going to like this.
She's the only contestant in the history of the show to actually gain weight. No, come on. Come on. She gained like 30 pounds a week. I swear to God. It was fantastic. She's like the white precious. She's like the white precious. You can boo louder than that. Come on, boo me. I love it. Yeah, except that when you're saying that to the troops, it really is. The white precious? She is hell. What a beating. Oh. I've seen her behind-the-scenes stuff, and I can actually feel for her because I've seen that show. And she's, like, super nervous, and she'll come off and be like, oh, my gosh, I completely bombed. I don't know what I was saying, you know. Well, yeah, maybe you don't have material like that. But you've got to have some sympathy for the comedian. I thought it was funny. I thought it was funny. No, I thought it was stoop. I thought it was funny. She's like the white precious. The white precious is funny. Oh, man. Is it not? What would have happened if a guy said it?
We would have laughed. If Daniel Tosh said it. It wasn't that it was a chick that said it that made me go, oh, I'm out. I thought it was funny. Just the way she said it. I'm crass, though. That's just, I like crass humor. I make fun of myself. And then she's saying Bristol Palin's the only person that gained 30 pounds while she was on Dancing with the Stars. Maybe she can't afford all your plastic surgery. Oh. Maybe, you know, if you live in glass houses, you shouldn't throw stones. It's hard to be a comedian and not. I mean, dude, our boy. And not see some chick gain 30 pounds. Bro, our boy, Craig Gass. If somebody said that, by the way, if somebody said that to her, she'd freaking cry. Yeah, it would be sad, but they're comedians. Craig Gass makes fun of people, and I laugh my ass off. But it's like when it's funny, I've seen Crystal Palin, and I would never have thought that she gained a pound. Yeah, but it was... See, I don't know what she's talking about, so the only part I thought was funny was the white precious. Yeah, I did too.
I guess we're monsters. I guess so. Precious. That's sad. I know. It is, but she's a comedian. I get it. Here's the deal. If I was a comedian, I'd probably be pretty mean because I make fun of myself and believe me, people make fun of me. It's the easiest. Crap to do, man. It's the easiest S to do. Like, you could sit there and do that all day long. It's the easiest thing to do. She's very self-deprecating. She calls herself like a tranny and like a B-list or what is it? D-list. Kind of funny. What, precious? Monster. She should have moved on to the next joke and bailed herself out instead of doing it. I think you make a good point, though. I think you make a good point. If it was a dude that said it, I would have had a different reaction. Really? Yeah. How come? If a guy was up there and was like, oh, did you guys see Bristol Palin? She put on 50 pounds. She looks like the White Precious. I would have been like... Because as a girl, I'm like, ooh, that's kind of mean. It's because she's a skinny little girl, too. I can see a guy doing it and getting away with it. Yeah. I don't like the making fun of thing. I do, because I make fun of myself. I make fun of myself, too. And it's okay to make fun of myself. Right. Because nobody's feelings are getting hurt. She's making fun of...
People that are already so made fun of and weaklings. I know. Like, make fun of someone that's, you know, can laugh about it. You don't get made fun of if you don't throw yourself in the public eye. Make in front of the freaking of Precious? Aye, aye, aye. That's not right. She was just comparing her. Oh. All right. I guess we're monsters. Put yourself in the public eye. Who, Precious? No, I was talking about Bristol Palin. Then she deserves it, right? No, she doesn't deserve it, but you have to realize you're going to be, like... The object of satire. Lampoon. You're a public figure. Oh, see. So you don't like SNL. They make fun of people all the time. No, see, I don't buy that. I don't buy that bit. I don't buy that you put yourself in the public eye business because nobody gets into any of this stuff to get, like, jacked. No, but you can't let it get to you. Like, what some comedian says that doesn't know you personally, you can't let that get to you. Yeah, well. then that means that when they say it, you got to just go, oh, that didn't hurt, when it does. When people say stuff about me, it freaking hurts. Yeah, it still hurts. You know, I don't know. It hurts less than it used to, for me, anyway. It doesn't? Mm-hmm. Do I ever get fired up anymore? No, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. Oh, I'm getting used to it. I'm desensitized to people calling me fat or...
Nice double chins. I'm like, oh, yeah, he's right. I'm a fat pig. It's funny because he's fat. There you go. It used to bother me a lot more six months ago. It doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that she's making fun of Bristol Palin. It's one thing if Bristol says something that's not very smart. Yeah, and you can lampoon that. She was on a show. I'm sure she was hoping to lose some weight, and I didn't notice that she gained weight. I don't think she did. But it just seems like a really low blow. It definitely wasn't the best joke because I had no idea that Bristol Palin. gained any weight, but the comparison is mean. The troops who are out there fighting in Afghanistan, I don't know that they've been following Dancing with the Stars. Fair enough. When she got the booze with the Bristol Palin, it was almost like she should have just moved on. She was like, hear me out, hear me out. I'm about to say something even more. You're going to love it. Come on, get ready. Punchline's coming. And when it comes, your guys are going to love it. You're going to love it. Do you have the, let's see, the holiday edition. This is the holiday edition of In-N-Out. I keep calling it that. I don't know why you're calling it In-N-Out. It's In-N-Out. Do you like this or do you not like it? Do you want a burger? I know. It's something related. It's Christmas stuff. Mistletoe, In-N-Out. In. In. Got some this weekend. Who doesn't want to make out? Who's against mistletoe?
You kissed your husband under the mistletoe? No, I haven't yet, but when I went to the Christmas parade on Sunday, there was people in the parade with mistletoe. On a stick? And they were selling it. I ran up and got some. Who's the guy at the Christmas party with mistletoe on a stick? This guy. He's a smart guy. Used to be. I would accept kisses on the cheek with mistletoe. Okay. Except guys. Too late. Maybe I'll bring some in. On a stick. I'll bring in. I'll cut off a little bit. For Sienna and L.O.B. to kiss me. Who's the guy that hangs it off of his belt? Yeah, I'm going to get a missile to a belt buckle. Oh, my God. Someone has to be under it. I'll stand on a chair. Oh, my God. Eggnog in or out? In. Out. Out. After the jog. Repugnant. Repugnant. I'm out. You guys are all out on it? Nutmeg flavored creamy milk. So good. Makes me think of Wood's Tongue. Reindeer in the yard. Out. Out. Which kind? Like the decorations. Like the full sleigh. But like the wicker ones? The wicker ones I like better than the... Oh, Mike, I didn't mean real reindeer. I didn't do anything. There's like the white cutout ones that are so like 15 years ago. You know what I'm talking about? I don't like the ones that light up, like the cheesy ones that light up. I like those ones.
I'm out on them. I like the wicker ones. They can be old and disgusting, and I'm in on them because it's decoration. In. Candy canes, in or out? In. Oh, in. A thousand percent. You have to be in. I don't like them. I love them. But I'll eat them because of this holiday. Me too. Me too. I don't eat them. I don't like them. I don't eat them. I like the certain type. They're like the old-fashioned kind that kind of melt in your mouth. The kind we made homemade in 1846. Now they have like Sour Patch candy canes and Skittles. Grinding bones and adding sugar. I like the fruity kind. I do too. I don't like the fruity kind. I like the peppermint. Peppermint, you have to have it though. Delicious. Carolers, in or out? Out. Out. Never experienced carolers. You never caroled? Never had anybody caroled. We should go caroling. Mikey's show caroling. When I was in fourth grade, we caroled in Nordstrom's. You did? For a while, we sat insane with Nordstrom's. We should go to Nordstrom's. We should go to Nordstrom's after the show. I'm in. I'll do it. Maybe we can make a little money.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Jay! Maybe turn your mic down. Wow. That sounded pretty good. 18 people just crashed on fire. Take two, take two. Get arrested. Dude, let's do it. It's funny. People will give us money, I think. Put my hat down there. Yeah. We put out, like... Guitar case. A guitar case. Yeah. Maybe Eskimo dress up. She probably has a gig there anyway. At the mall. What about peppermint smells? Lotion, candles? In. Out. In. Lotion? Peppermint lotion? They sell it, like, during the holiday. It smells delicious. Get out of my life. Stings. I'll vote in. It stinks. I think I say in on everything. Nutcrackers. What is nutcrackers? Oh, out. Like the dolls. Out. That everyone has. Why are you out? You guys just sit around and crack nuts? No, they're decorative. They're decorative and they have another purpose. They crack walnuts. Every time I've tried to actually use one to crack a walnut, I've broken it. Really? I don't use the wooden ones anymore. You're the only one amongst us that actually buys walnuts. In the shell. They'll be at a party and I'll be like, ooh, a bowl of nuts next to the nutcracker. So I stick it in and pull it down.
And twice I've broken it. I just put it back and didn't tell anyone. Yeah, it's smart. That's what we all did. 100%. Christmas lights. Every kind doesn't matter. If you're out, then you're a monster. I like the ones that are colorful with the big bulbs. Me too. That's C9s, that's what I have. Those are the best. C9s. No big deal. The C7s, I think, are probably. They're like the old school ones. But those ones are the outside, for the outside of the house. But white lights on a Christmas tree. C9s. Yeah, I agree with both of those. Christmas cards. Out. Love them. Out. Bad for the environment. You need to have a picture, though. Bad for my carpal tunnel. Oh, my gosh. Guys, what is wrong with you? How dare you? Out. It's bad for the environment. It's wasteful, man. What? You better stop with that bit. It's wasteful. It's killing me. And there's like roach's eggs on the stamps that you lick. Yeah, roach's eggs on them. You get like a roach in your tongue. Who licks stamps? You buy the ones with the adhesive. Woods, what? You doing the fake environmentalist thing. It's killing me!
Hey I'm California now. It makes me angry when he does it. Why? I'm California. I recycle like crazy now. Because he doesn't mean it. I mean it. No, you're the worst. You throw your dip cup in your recycling. His dip cup is in the trash can and it's a plastic bottle. At home I recycle. You do not. Stop it. Why? Because you don't mean it. And real trees are so rude. It just keeps under my skin. Real trees. Just killing things. Advent calendars. Out. Love them. You don't even know what they are. Yes, I do. What is it? The little thing you open, it's got candy in it. Yeah, for kids. Yeah, you know, it's a calendar. Use a calendar. You want to know what day it is. No, it's exciting. What? Oh my gosh. Get out. People wearing Santa hats. I'm out. I'm out. I'll wear them all. With the name glittered on the front? No. No, it just could be a plain old Santa hat. How great is a girl in a Santa hat? If that's all she's wearing, perfect. Oh God. Sage has one that says baby's first Christmas.
I might have told you guys this. My boy, one of my buddies, used to have a hat, and we used to go out a lot around Christmas because you'd be home from college, go out for the holidays. He wore this hat, and it had a ball at the end of it, and it twinkled. The ball twinkled. Like five years in a row we met girls when he had that hat on. We wore it out, and they were like, who's that guy? Conversation started. It was a great conversation. So I'm all the way in. Last one. Wreaths. Yeah. Pretty. Spelt good. Do they smell? I don't really understand the purpose of a wreath, but I like them. It's decorative, but I would be okay if they went away. It's very wasteful. It's bad for the environment. It's killing me! It's killing me! My parents have these plastic ones. They hang up every year, and they've got like 30 windows on their house. My dad hangs it with the fishnet wire, and it goes... What about against the windows when it gets windy? Fishnet wire. Whatever that is. What about the people that put the Christmas decorations like wreaths on cars? I've seen that. Oh, I like that. Yeah, I'm in on it, too. In Texas, they did that. My mom always has a wreath right in the front. I like that. M1 Jesse from IB. Yo, what's going on, guys? What's up? Nothing. I was saying, if you guys are going to do Christmas caroling, we should just do all the M1s, meet up one night.
And then everyone can bring a donation or something. And then we can do it towards your charity. That's pretty cool. And we can have the largest carolers going. I guarantee you can do it in seven days. Get everyone to meet somewhere. That's kind of fun sounding. I like that. Where are you from? I'm from IB. Where originally? Jersey. Long Island. I like it. Long Island. Long Island. It's not a bad idea. Dude. Thank you, man. Definitely got to do it. Thank you. I like it. Are you just saying that, Mike? Chances it gets done. I'm saying it, and I know that I'll never be able to organize it. See, I think people should submit their businesses, and then we pick a couple places that we just surprise them. We go caroling? Yeah. Just get beat up real good? No! Who beats up a caroler? Everyone loves a caroler. We come to bring cheer. What if you're sitting on your couch watching Inception on your new couch, on your new TV, and you hear... Who the hell is this? And you go to the door and it's a bunch of clowns out there singing. We're just trying to spread some holiday cheer. Open the door. It smells like a nail gun. What? We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas.
When we get back you're gonna want to hear this I got some some ways that you get zits that you didn't even realize Ah, it's a clean version. How's your Eminem rap coming? The one you were going to write. Don't remember that. Okay. That's the kind of song you just try to fall asleep to, you know? Yeah, it's one of those songs that you... Yeah.
I sing it to Sage. Yeah, it's the only song she'll have taken out to. I can't tell you what it feels like. It's like a steel knife. I hit my windpipe. You guys heard of this Eminem song called Stan? It's great. Oh my. About ten years ago. Let's try. Let's see. So the obvious reasons that we get zits are... Grease? Grease. Greasy food. We know that, right? Yeah, and I read a story a while ago that said chocolate will not give you zits. But, I mean, I know my husband, immediately, if he has, like, chocolate brownie or something, will get one. Wow. Yeah. I get zits in singles. They come in ones. Yeah, me too. And they're horrific. Mine are, like, big and they hurt. And when you get that one, yeah, it's never a small one, you know? What's the worst place to get a zit on your face? And then by the nose. The nose. The nose hurts. Right there. On the inside a little bit. And it just hurts so bad. On the nose. Right by your mouth. Sometimes on your forehead, though, because if it's all taut. And it's like underground. Taut. Yeah. Or on your temple. Oh, gosh. Oh, yeah. Right there. I get those. Yep.
Oh, okay. Well, these are some sneaky reasons why you get them. And you may not think about your pillowcase or your towel that you may be using. And you need to wash all the time because if they're dirty. Yeah, it's got grease all over it. Talking on your cell phone. Yeah. Grease. It's like literal pressure playing the violin, resting your hand on your chin. Do not do that. Also, pressure figuratively, like if you're stressed out about something. Stress gives you zits. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It increases your hormones. Oh. Oh, really? Yeah. My hormones are out of control. So you get zits from them? Yes. I'm stressed about the Mikey-thon. Why don't you calm down? Go to a masseuse. Okay. This always happens to him like once a month. Yeah, go to a masseuse. Yeah, it's my man period. My myriad. Your myriad. Yes. Instead of getting your myriad all the time, why don't you just go get it? It's not all the time, a-hole. It's once a month. She said it was 28 days. It's one time a month. It's like a manstrel cycle. A manstrel cycle, yes. Well, if it's once a month, that's a lot. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's just a couple days.
What else? When you over dry your skin, a lot of people think that when you use like toners and stuff like that, that will dry. I don't use toner. Or like a harsh cleanser on your face. It over dries your skin. And when you over dry your skin, it causes the oil production to build up even more. I don't do that. Tanning. Mikey. Tanning causes your skin to increase cell production, which basically means more dead skin cells. Can we get a tanning bed in here? No. That'd be rad. Creepy. That'd be awesome. I think Jane Gum just called the same. Also, if you have long hair, and guys too, like if your hair falls down on your forehead and stuff, the product from your... Mikey just flailed his hair. That is non-existent. But oil from your hair. Really? Yeah. So if you have bangs or...
Just to say Mikey forever. What if Mikey only had bangs? It would be the greatest thing ever. Oh my God. I try to start something. Oh my God. Just bald with bangs. Bang. That would be incredible. That would be Mikey's new bit. I'm trying to start something, you know. A trend. Like a look. That would be terrifying. I know it could have to be a total punk rock haircut. Just bangs. Just bangs? Yes. And a bald head with just bangs. That's filthy. Late 80s, early 90s. How awkward. Did you ever date a guy that had that? Oh, on girls. Shaved head, just bangs. Oh, I do remember that. My friend Pam Allen in high school. All through high school. Four years she had that. Brilliant of the Smiths. Woods just found out that they released the Smiths on iTunes. I didn't know they weren't on there. I didn't either. Let's see. It's because you guys aren't Smith fans. Smith's fans. I thought Mikey was. Did you? He's the only Latino that's not. They're big in the Latino community. They are. Says what? No, says everybody. San Diego's going to add. They are. They're huge. Anytime Moz is in town, you bet. Chula Vista's representing. Oh, yeah. They love them. Pompadour haircut's real good. Yeah, it's awesome. They're going to start putting fluoride. More fluoride.
More fluoride in our water. Delicious. December 22nd, due to some new state standards, and fluoride is placed in imported water. Our water tastes disgusting in San Diego County. It's so gross. It's gross. Well, and I never had cavities, not a single one, until I moved to San Diego. Really? And you drank the tap? There's lots of fluoride in the water in New Jersey. And you drank it from the tap? Yeah. Did it taste good? Uh-huh. Well, they say that fluoride is critical for kids' dental health. It's better for it, but also people are saying that fluoride is linked to cancer. Oh, great. Perfect. Hey, yesterday they caught a tuna that broke records. World records. This tuna is insane. 405 pounds. Wow. Like four? 105 pound tuna. Yeah, it was caught 100 miles west of Magdalena Bay in Baja. And they caught this thing, took two and a half hours to reel it in. The last record for the biggest tuna was in 1977 and it weighed 388 pounds. This one is 405. I wonder how old that thing was. I don't know, but I wonder how good that thing tastes. Yeah. You know, a lot of times when they say, when they get too big, you know?
I don't know. But people that love fishing that are really into it, they said that this is the holy grail of fishing. Oh, wow. This tuna that was found. That's it. People are losing their minds. It was on Yahoo. Especially considering that this year sucked. For fishing. Yes. Terrible. I didn't catch a thing. And I didn't go one time. So there you go. I went once. Didn't catch a lick, did you? Or a fish. Don't start with the making fun of me because Hillary's here. I'm not. That's not making fun of you? As soon as Hillary comes in, Woods starts this thing. Are you out of your mind? I said you didn't catch a lick or a fish. That's not making fun of you. You get it? I don't understand. Just call it a day. I know. I'm not making fun of you. He would have said that anytime. Yeah. I went fishing on a boat. Nothing. I've heard that from a lot of people. Did you wear your flippy floppies? I did. I wore my aqua socks and that was it. Fished with my aqua socks. Scared the fish. Scared the fish. Let's see. Who is immune?
From catching yawns. Well. What's it? Get. Clown. Dogs can catch yawns. They can? Yes. That's cute. Animals, other animals can catch a yawn because you know they say yawns are contagious. Yeah. However, babies cannot catch yawns. Really? Yeah. They said you cannot catch a yawn until you're about the age of five. I'm going to start calling you out for everyone. Why are yawns contagious? I'm going to get you. I'm going to get you. I do it before the show. No, you do not. You do it during the show. I've seen you during the show. I have backup. I just don't call it out. Because you know what? I don't either anymore. You're a professional. I don't either. And you know what? Some days, you're going to yawn. Because you know why? You're human. And you know why? You're not perfect. I don't do it. I don't yawn anymore. Does this make you want to yawn? A picture of a yawner? Little angel. This is sweet. Oh my goodness. I wonder why we do that. Yawn? Because why it's contagious. Oh, it is. Even on the phone, I'll hear someone yawn. I'm like... In traffic, I do it. Man, I look over and somebody's like, I'm like,
Lately, I've been in a run of catching people picking their nose on the freeway. Oh, big time. I'm one of them. Everyone picks their nose on the freeway. I don't know why when I get in my car, I'm like, oh my God. You know what cracks me up is when there's two things that make me laugh really hard. One is a girl picking her nose. 100%. Because a guy is almost like, he's a dude. Of course he does. Neanderthal, you know? But a girl picking her nose? gets me. The other thing that gets me is girls when they try to sneak a bite in the car. Sneak a bite? They don't want anybody to see them and so they real quick they go A food? I've never seen that. Never seen a girl try to jam something down real quick? It's because they're driving not because they want to hide it. I know but they take a bite real quick and put it down. You don't see that? I haven't seen that. But see pulling up to the stoplight and seeing a pretty hot girl like My deal is I want to hang around to see if she eats it. I love it. What do you got coming up, Hill? I grabbed some Dinosaur Junior. I grabbed the new Cold War Kids record. Black Keys, KC Elephant, Dead Weather. We'll start with some Ramone. There you go. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next and we will come back tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock and do it all over again. Mikey shows out.