The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 12/10/10

0:00Woodsy, and this is for people that are new listening to the show. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40. Woods is our sports guy. Looking sharp today. Thanks, buddy. Show a little extra skin. He's 35. Chest hair. Oh, wow. You just undid another button. Yeah, he's got his pearl snaps on. L.O.B. is our assistant producer, but she's not here today. She is a blonde girl, 30 years old, not here today, under the weather. She is feeling better, though. You know, she said she almost came back today, but we said, no, we don't need germs. Yes. We love you, but we don't need germs. We didn't let her come in. I've turned into, since I started working with some people. Me. He's pointing at Mike. You're pointing right at me. This guy. You're pointing right at me. You're pointing right at me. I've turned into the guy. I used to not care about germs. I'm like, whatever. I'm not going to get sick. I'm petrified now. I know. Petrified of getting ill. Yeah. Because I don't want to miss days of work and I don't want to be all jacked up for the Mikey-thon. It's really hard when you're sick because you listen to the show, you know, and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm missing everything. They just had a guest in. I'm missing everything. She was really bummed yesterday. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah. Well, she will be back on Monday. Yeah. Sienna's our news girl. She's 25 and she's wearing a hat today. It looks really good. I'm going to bring it in more often. You should.

1:21Way warm. Jay is... I almost wore a hat today. You did? Yeah. Me too. I don't know what they're called, but... Fedora? No. Sombrero it's called. Sombrero. You know that. What are those hats that they're kind of like... The material that you have on like a knit, it's almost like a knit cap, but it's got like a little bill, a small, small bill. Oh, it's a girl's cap. It's not a girl's cap. It's the one the guy from Cutlass was wearing when he came in. Yeah, guys, I see a lot of guys wearing them when they snowboard and stuff like that. I'm even kind of lesbian. Yes, the Oprah clip. Great, great. So, I didn't wear it. Weird that I didn't wear it, you know. No, I wouldn't yet. You know, like, there's something weird about, like, even I, when I put on a hat, I'm like, am I going to get made fun of? Are people going to look at me differently? Well, you guys have all made fun of my hat. No. She hates my hat. When you wore your newsboy hat, what did I say to you? You look like a clown. I think was your exact words. I may have thought it, but I actually said the opposite. No, when you make, when you wear a hat, it's like, it's a statement, you know, and it's way different. Sienna the other day goes.

2:30Would you need to throw that hat in the garbage? My Yankee hat. I said that? I was like, yes. The Yankee hat, yeah. I can't get away with anything in here. So it's not just you that gets it, pal. I get it too. I wouldn't have criticized the Yankee hat if it wasn't completely stained and drawn on with pen. That's nasty. It's disgusting. But it's mine. It is. Jay's our producer. He's 47 years of age. You mean Brad. Yeah, I do that every day with different people. That's so great. With different people. You know, for no reason at all. And I wonder if anybody in our audience ever does this. For no reason at all, I'll almost call someone by a completely different name. It would be like if I was trying to call Woods and I went, Kent. You know, like in my brain, I almost say Kent. You did that with Jay and called him Brad. He called him Brad. I was going to call him Brad. Doesn't make sense. Now, what happens is I never actually say it out loud, but I always announce to everybody what I almost did. You know, like I was going to call Will the other day and what was I going to call him? I can't remember, but it was like lawn or something. It was something so random. Liam. I don't know why. Maybe it's what in my brain who I think he's called. Yeah. Or what he looks like. Yeah. Yeah.

3:49You know, all the people that I used to work with, all of the news girls, Sienna, you are the first news girl that I didn't rename. Wow. Yeah. You like my name. All news girls that I've worked with, I've renamed them. I worked with a Christy. I renamed her Star. I worked with a girl named Melanie. I renamed her Rain. I worked with. By the theme. Yeah, what's the. I worked with a Lori. Moon. I worked with a Lori. I renamed her Sky. That's crazy. I worked with a Sarah. I renamed her Ashley. Yeah. You know, I would rename her. That was my bit. Lauren is L-O-B. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of a rename. I just started calling her L-O-B. Yeah, but I just started calling her that. Like one time, she had said that her friends called her Obes. Oh. And I knew that they got that from OB. Yeah. And so her first name was Lauren, and one day I called her L-O-B, and it just came out that way. Yeah. It wasn't a plan. And Woods has called her Lob. Lob. I call her Lob in the morning. Hey, Lob. Why not me? I feel left out now. You're Sienna. You know why, Sienna? I'll tell you why. Because you were filling in for Sky, and it was supposed to be a three-, four-week stint or whatever.

5:14If I knew that you were going to be working with me and like we were going to be on the air together and I liked your name recognition coming to the news station. Yeah. I wanted people to know when we were coming to the news station like, hey, you remember Sienna. Yeah. It would be weird to like have you on and like rename you. Yeah, that's true. But I will say this. If it were all new, I would rename you. Really? What would you name me? It's my bit. What would you rename me? Moon, probably. No. Twilight. No. Probably what I, you know. Boobs McGee. Boobs McGee. Just call her Jugs. Double D. Triple D. I know exactly what I would call you. What? But see, you have to agree to it. If you say it, it might stick. Listen, here's the deal. I don't know if I want it to. Here's the deal. I'm scared. When I told Sarah that I was going to call her Ashley, she hated it. Really? Oh, she was vehemently against it. In fact, I remember bringing it up in Shauna's office. I said, what would you think of me calling you Ashley? This is when she was going to come on the show. And she was like, I don't really like that name. It's hard because it's like it's someone else's name. It's not really a nickname. I'd be furious. Oh, in Dallas, I did it, too. What was in Dallas? The girl's name was Katie. I renamed her Tori. Yep. Weird. Yeah. I always do the rename. I always do the race. So you know what I would call you? And it's always I always pick a name that I think guys will think is kind of.

6:43cool, or that guys will like, I would call you Taryn. Taryn? Yeah. And you would, now that's your reaction. Your reaction, that's your reaction. What the heck? You know what? Another girl. What's this looking like? No, no, no, no, no. Listen, there's another girl that I named Holly. Her name wasn't Holly. But I called her Holly. Why don't you like her name? Taryn? Taryn? It's like a porn name. What? No! Listen to me. You're crazy. There has never been one girl that I said, here's what I'm thinking of calling you. And she went, great. Yes. I love it. In fact, every girl's reaction is really always. And then let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. They came to love it so much. Like, I'll tell you another one that was so against that. That girl, Christy, that I nicknamed her, that I called her star. Hated it. I mean, she hated it. She eventually loved it so much she tattooed stars. She got tattoos with star. Stars. Wow. So you hate Taryn. I don't hate Taryn. Let me tell you. You would come to a T-A-R-Y-N. I know a Taryn. You would come to love it. Okay, if Woods is like porn name, I'm obviously out on Taryn. Yeah, Woods would, you know.

8:06My name is not changing. What would you call me? Just keep me the same. I've never redone guys' names. Yeah. Never redone guys' names. I don't understand why. I always do it because I think that guys will think that that name is hot. What's the hottest girl's name that you can think of? I have one in my mind. Like when you hear that name, you're like, oh, she's hot. Other than Sienna? Other than Sienna. Okay. And other than Jamie. And other than Kim. And Rebecca. I have one that like when I hear if somebody's like, Like, back in the day, Woodsy, I'm going to set you up with my friend, Renee. I'd be like, oh, she's got to be hot. Her name's Renee. She has to be hot. That's Lauren's middle name. Yeah. You've told me that. I just never have felt that that's the hottest girl name. Oh, I love it. And I guess it's because you must have met a Renee that you thought was really hot. I told you. There was a Renee in eighth grade. Her name was Renee Sadlow. And I wanted to go out with this girl so bad. And I told you, she wouldn't date me because she thought I was in the Boy Scouts. And I never have been in the Boy Scouts. I never have signed up. I've never gone to a meeting, nothing. Eagle Scout? No, she's like, I'm not dating that guy. He's in the Boy Scouts. I'm like, I swear to God, I was never in the Boy Scouts. That's the greatest thing. But I am prepared. Random. It's so random. And to this day, I'm like, oh, Renee, say hello. You know what I think is a hot name? What? And I don't know any, like, I'm not friends with any. I just think it's a hot name. Amanda.

9:29I've always thought that Amanda's are good looking. Yeah. I like the name Jamie. Oh, boy. What's his wife's name? Oh, wow. What a coincidence. Jamie is a very foxy name. It is. Very foxy. You know what? Your wife is a very foxy lady. She's a foxy gal. I didn't even put two and two together. I like the names, like the girls' names that are like guy names, like Alex. Oh, yeah. Or Sam. They're always hot. They're always good looking, too. I have a niece named Alex. Thanks, Jack. It's very cute. How about Ron? For a girl. Ron? Yeah. Yeah, I like Ahmed. Soonjar. I think Soonjar is a great name. You know they're a piece of A. Nice playing in the street. Gonna be a big man someday. You got mud on your face. You big disgrace. Kicking your can all over the place. Singing. We will, we will rock you. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I've heard that a hundred times. Never noticed. I've never heard him say Yang Man. I think you keep saying he, I think it's a she.

10:47I think it's a he. It's a she. It's like a 13-year-old boy. That is not a she. It's a she. I love this. I know it. Yes. I'm the one who loaded it. It's a she? It's a she. It's a she. Sounds like me. Buddy, you're a young man, old man, hard man. She's just standing there in her living room doing it. That's got to be a 15-year-old boy. It's a she. Well, someday you got bread on your face. Wow, bread. You picked this grade. We will, we will rock you. Singing. Oh, that's it. Thank you very much. That was really nice. That was a great rendition. We really appreciate it. That thing has moved to the top of the list. It's so good. Sing it. Word of the day today is dreidel. I'm not discriminating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, the word of the day is dreidel, and here's the deal with it. When you hear me work the word dreidel into a sentence between now and then... No problem. Easy. You will win a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld, and that's worth $276. You'll get a Mikey Show t-shirt, too. Lucky for them, you are always talking about dreidels. Always. That wasn't the word, by the way. That wasn't the word. Sorry, I gotta say it. D-R-A-D-E-L.

12:10Woods. Yes. Do you know what a dreidel is? Something that you spin. And that is not the word. I'm not saying it now. Yeah. We're going to discuss the word dreidel so that people don't freak out and go, oh, I got a call. Yeah. What is it, Woods? Something that Jewish people spin. Yes, that is right. A little toy or something. It's like a little top. Yeah. Is it a game? It's a game. It's got symbols on the sides. Yeah. And you spin it. I don't know. Somebody gave me one once. Did you win a prize or something? How's that go? You get a kiss on the mouth of Jay. Open mouth. Open mouth. You're always in. Oh, wow. That got uncomfortable a little bit right there when that happened. Yeah, I know. Got a good-looking crowd today. Yeah. Good-looking audience. Yeah, clap for yourselves. Got a good group. We're welcoming back today Divine Postabilities. Haven't seen them. Haven't seen Divine Pastability since I was at the old station. They were voted best sandwich shop in San Diego four years in a row. And they are the home of what I think is probably the most genius idea in the history of man. It is. The pasta stuffed sandwich. Yeah. They bake homemade bread and then they stuff it with stuff like, you know.

13:28Meatballs. Meatballs. And spaghetti. Spaghetti. Spaghetti and meatballs. They put it inside of this baked bread. And the thing that's so great about it is you like bread when you eat your pasta. This is just combining the best of both worlds. Yum. They're over on Midway Drive in Point Loma. And they have a website. It's TorPasta. And you can go to TorPasta.com if you want directions and see their menu. All I'm going to tell you is it is scrumptious. I ordered one today. I can't wait. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Mine's coming, the meatball. Speaking of scrumptious, Woods went out to dinner with Brian Head Welch last night and his crew. Yeah. It was pretty awesome. How was it? Delicious. Where'd you go? Pamplemuth. Of course. You know that. Yeah. Delicious. That's awesome. And it was you. It was your wife. It was Brian Head Welch, who was on the show yesterday. Yep. Used to be in Korn. Yeah. And now he's still a solo musician, best-selling author. Um, so you guys went and who else went? Uh, his buddy, Josh, Josh Claus. Yeah. Santa's like Santa Claus. Yeah. His nephew. Yeah. Um, they, yeah, it was like four 45. I was laying on the couch weird. And, uh, they called me and they're like, Josh called me and he goes, Hey, do you want to come meet us for dinner? And I was like, well, you know, the missus doesn't get off and I know she would want to go. And they're like, yeah, we're not going to eat till about six. And I was like, well, that'll actually be perfect. So, um, and head was in the background like, yeah, come down. You know, it was.

14:55Pretty cool. That's awesome. You didn't feel cool at all. Oh, I felt. I know. I might have texted a bunch of friends back home, too, and told them, you know, and they were like, what? Are you kidding? So it was cool, man. It was, the guy is a, he's a deep, deep, deep guy. Yeah. Very deep. And, you know, we're talking about kids. I'm adopting a kid, and he has a little girl, and he was showing us pictures. I was sitting there going. What the hell? Where am I? You know, it's crazy. That's really cool. It was really fun. I made the reservation for him, you know, and I so I called over to Pample Moose and made the reservation. And then at about five minutes to five, because the reservation was for five at about five minutes to five. I thought to myself, I better call and give the front desk girl a heads up because she's probably going to wonder what's going on. So I call and I go, hey, I just wanted to let you know, the former guitar player from Korn is going to show up. And he's got long braids and looks kind of odd. You know, tattoos all over the neck. Everywhere. Braids. Teardrops on his face. Teardrops tattooed on his face. And he'll be wearing eyeliner. Yes. A lot of it. Dark black eyeliner. And I, you know, I just wanted to let you know. She goes, oh, they're already here.

16:18And I go, oh, okay. And she goes, I didn't want to assume that that was the guitar player from Korn, but I thought it was the guitar player from Korn. And I go, yeah, it's him. But Pamplemousse isn't a fancy restaurant like Donovan's, although they serve fancy food like Donovan's. They serve better tasting food. I mean, it's the best restaurant I've ever been to. It's not stuffy, but it is fine dining. And so I knew that they would probably be like, what the heck? Listen, if I didn't know who Head was, I would think that he was going to kill me. I would be sure. By looking at him. Yeah, by looking at him. I would be sure that he was going to kill me. By the way, he took pictures yesterday for BeDifferentPact.com. And the pictures are pretty awesome. He could not have been a nicer guy. No kidding. Can I tell you a funny story about dinner? Yeah. Look at the picture. Oh, wow. How great is that? You'll see it on BeDifferentPack.com really soon. That's probably my favorite picture. Incredible. Yeah. It's really great. So Mikey's favorite thing, one of his favorite things at Pample Moose, of which there are many. You've sampled a lot of that stuff on that menu, right? I'm not being a D. I'm just saying. You've eaten a lot of that different stuff. I've already thought about this. What? What?

17:43I already know. Also, one of his favorite things is the truffle fries. They're delicious. And you love them. Jay loves them. I'm not a fan. And I love everything at Pample Moose except the truffle fries. Seriously. And so Mikey goes, you guys got to try them. And he sent them over. Such a classy dude, this guy. Such a classy dude. He sends them over. And the lady comes over and she goes, I brought you guys some truffle fries. And Head was like, his eyes got real big. And he was like. Woodsy, what are those? And I'm like, oh, they're truffle fries. And he's like, what's a truffle? You know, I was like, I don't know. Something out of the ground. It's very, you know, they're very expensive. And I go, just try one. He took one bite and he goes and put the rest of the fry back in the thing. So we took them. We moved them to the end of the table. We got our appetizers and our dinner. Jeffrey walks by the owner. Hey, Woodsy, how you doing, buddy? He shakes my hand. The fries are at the end of the table. He goes, what are these doing down here out of reach? And I'm like. Well, we're eating our entrees now. I was mortified. Why didn't you say? He don't like them. Because I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to be a jerk. He says he's a real picky eater, though, too. Yeah, he is. Here's what I... That's the Woods version. I wasn't there. I believe it went something like this. Okay. I believe it went something like this. I could be wrong. The truffle fries come to the table, and Head goes, what is that? And Woods goes...

19:09They're called truffle fries. And then and then and then he and the head may go, what is it? And he goes, I don't know, dude, but I don't like them. They smell like feet. I could see. OK, maybe Woods didn't say they smell like feet. I could see Woods going. I don't know, but I don't like I don't like them. You might like them, but I don't like them. What he said verbatim was when the waitress brought him over because she put him right in front of head. He goes, I thought she had bad breath. That's exactly what he said. He goes, I thought she had bad breath. I go, did you tell Head that you didn't like him? After. After they came, because I didn't know they were coming. Yeah, when she put him down and he asked what they were, did you say, yeah, I don't care for him, but, you know. No, maybe. Maybe, maybe, maybe. But I'm not going to shame. Maybe 100%. I'm not going to shame. Maybe 100%. I'm not going to shame Head well. The guy knows what he wants. He's 40 years old. Had I been there, listen, had I been there, they'd have come to the table, and I'd go, dude, they stink like crazy. They're delicious. And he'd go, what are truffle fries? What are truffles? I'd go, it's like a mushroom. Trust me on this. Garlicky, salty, delicious. Try them. They're so good. You think then he would have been like, mmm. I think he would have. I'll tell you why I know he wouldn't. He sent the butter back because the butter had herbs in it. He's not a fancy eater. He goes, do you have regular butter? And they're like, yeah, sure. Because that herb butter, I eat with a spoon. I'm like, mmm. Yum. And he didn't like it. Yeah. He sent it back. He's a picky eater.

20:35Believe me, I was like, yeah, dude, I don't care for them. And, of course, I ate five or six of them. Like, I always do when I say I don't care for them because I really don't. They taste like garlic fries, I think. I was in my closet. Which I don't like. I was in my closet this morning. She finally came out, though. Brilliant. Brilliant. The kid is hot. He's hot. More than likely. So I'm in my closet, and I'm not ready to come out of it. And I was thinking about, you know. What's he saying that Head didn't like the truffle fries? It went. And I went. And I'm imagining this scenario. And I'm like, I'm sure Woods told him before he ever tried them that he didn't like them. You always think the worst. You did. You said you did. I was like, hey, dude, I don't care for him really. And I do. It's exactly what I thought. I know you so well. So you think I shamed him out of it? I know you so well. He hated him so much. He told me. He goes, bro, I'm sorry. Can you move those to the end of the table? And I was like, okay. So I did. I guarantee you're both right. I mean, Woods, he shamed him. Of course. But he really didn't like him because he doesn't like that kind of stuff. That guy's not going to be shamed. Real quick. Yeah, he is. Real quick. The bomb factory house yesterday. Yeah, in Escondido. Everything went fine. Swimmingly.

21:51Did anything blow up or did they blow it up? No. They set it on fire or what? Yeah, the whole house was in flames. The flames went up to four stories high. And I mean, you could hear a lot of noises that they were saying was likely from grenades and ammunition exploding. So it was like a lot of crackling. Wow. But yeah, the freeways were back open around 1230. I don't know what we're yelling about. Me either. I mean, it was just they were lighting it up. That was it. So everything went as good as can be expected. That's good. Yeah. Excellent. And this is good news, too. The Chargers game, not blacked out. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the fact that we're considering that a victory, you know, that we're like, oh. We have to announce it. Yeah. Yeah. We got to let people know. And honestly, like, I love watching the games, obviously, but the blacked out ones are the ones that they win. So I'm like, maybe that's not good news. Yeah. They said enough tickets have been sold to lift the blackout. So that is a good thing because I'm looking forward to watching that game. I mean, I have a. playoff baseball game, but I'll DVR it. Oh, wow. Big day. Big day. I have an announcement to make. What? Oh, boy. I'm going to the Holiday Hootenanny with Woods. Yeah! Oh, my gosh! Who saved you? The missus? No. Now, I can't go to your baseball game on Sunday, but I will go with you to the Hootenanny. In. Is that cool? Yes. Woods has been trying to convince Mike all week. Offered rides, you know, I'll pay for Diet Cokes, whatever he wants. Yeah.

23:22Well, you're still giving me a ride. Okay. And I'll go with you to the Holiday Hootenanny. Yes! Is your wife coming too? Yeah. Oh, good. The Black Keys. You're going to love them, man. The whole show will be there. Now, so that people know, it isn't that I have anything against the Holiday Hootenanny. No, it's a great show. In fact, I love the Black Keys. I just don't like concerts. I'm not a big concert guy. You know, I get anxious and a little nervous. And this is going to be a big one. Yeah. Well, I'm just, you know, people, there's still some tickets available. It's at Remack. Remack, yeah. Oh, it's going to be fun. We're going to have such a good time. So easy for us to get to. Big place. There's a beer-nasium. There's a beer-nasium. Oh, good. There is a beer-nasium. Okay, good. I know you were sweating. Well, I didn't know, and I was writing everyone I knew in my address book. How am I going to get beer? Does anybody know if there's a beer-nasium? Maybe there's not alcoholic beer. Yeah. All right. Why? Why? What prompted this? I know. Because I thought about it, and I thought.

24:29I need to do some things for my friend Woods that are out of the norm. Your comfort zone. Out of my comfort zone. And our whole show's going to be there, really. It's going to be like we're going to be partying, hanging out. Yeah. Yeah. Making out. Why not? Not making out, but partying. With our wives. Oh. All right, so here's some questions that got answered last night. Do people have sex at 88? I sure hope not. What? Why wouldn't they? Jay. What would Bieber call a song about his life is another question that got answered. And what's it sound like for Barbara Walters to be taught Jersey Shore slang? Oh. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Oh, and here's another good one. Because this all came from the most fascinating people special with Barbara Walters, right? Yeah. So here's another one.

25:25Remember when Sarah Palin made herself look like a dum-dum when they asked her what newspapers and magazines that she read back in the day? Well, they asked her again last night because you'd think she probably wouldn't ever see that question coming again. You know what I mean? Got it again last night. And so you'll see what she said next. Let's make some noise. So last night was the... Big Barbara Walters special. She's interviewing the 10 most fascinating people. Is that what it's called? Yeah. Every year she does it. So anyway, we're going to give you some of the highlights of it. I didn't watch it, but that's fine because your highlights, to me, that's good enough. It does everything I need. Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, the FBI are now exploring a possibility.

26:31Really surprising to us that the Geezer Bandit may be wearing a mask. Really? Wow. We've been saying it from the beginning, but apparently there's a SoCal company. They're not releasing the name of it, but that's what they do. They make really realistic masks. So the FBI are doing an investigation to see if maybe they sold it to this guy because they can't catch the Geezer Bandit. We'll see what happens. Also, do you remember the cruise ship that... Everyone on the cruise ship got really sick, like half of the people on the cruise ship. And it was something really contagious, apparently. Well, Point Loma Nazarene University, something real weird is going on over there because everyone is getting sick. This last weekend, 150 people out of the 1,700 students who live on campus called in and what? College kids over kids. Oh, I guess they do a lot. And they're really sick, nauseous, number three, real unpleasant. Maybe L.O.B. stopped by there. Yeah, let me tell you something. I bet that when, you know, it starts with a cruise ship, it spreads to, you know, like a college, right? And then a couple people from college, they go somewhere and they give it and blah, blah, blah.

27:41If you trace its origin back, it could very well be that LOB has something that started in the Caribbean and was on a cruise ship. Everywhere. I know. It's crazy. She was making out with a steel drum player. Exactly. The next thing you know. Exactly. Odds are pretty good. Yeah. LOB has bronchitis. My sister had bronchitis a couple weeks ago, too. I mean, it's just everyone. Maybe they were making out. Maybe they were. I'm even kind of lesbian. All right. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, last night was the big college football awards, and no surprise, Cam Newton cleaned up. He won the Maxwell as the nation's top all-around player, the Walter Camp as the player of the year, and the Davey O'Brien as the nation's top quarterback. That's pretty insane. Auburn head coach Gene Chizik won Home Depot coach of the year. LSU cornerback Patrick Peterson picked up to Jim Thorpe. Yeah. picked up the Jim Thorpe Award. And the Chuck Bednarik Award is the nation's top defensive player. There you go. Nuts. Divine Postabilities is bringing in food for everybody today. That'll be in just a little bit, so stick around for that. Don't forget the word of the day is dreidel. And when you hear me say that between now and 10, caller number 9 will get a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld and a Mikey Show t-shirt. And so be around for that. So last night was the Barbara Walters special. The 10 most fascinating people of 2010. Now,

29:03There's a lot of people. I think sometimes when you hear the list, you go, what? You know, why them? Well, the reason is because there's something about them that fast. For instance, Justin Bieber, you hear Justin Bieber is one of the 10 most fascinating people. OK, well, I think you have to think a bit deeper here because on the surface, people go. Why is he fascinating? Justin Bieber? Yeah. Okay, the reason that he's fascinating is because there is a fascination with him. Albeit young girls, there is a fascination with him. History will play out that chicks love Justin Bieber. Love him. Okay, so anyway, so he's one of them. We'll get to that in a minute, though. Betty White was one of them, right? Who doesn't love Betty White? What? Come on, she's cute. You're a monster. I wouldn't feel so bad. In defense to Woods, Betty White agrees with Woods. Thank you. Finish this sentence for me. Betty White is overexposed. Right there. Maybe put her top back on. That just shows how awesome she is. Don't even say that, you know? Yeah. Okay, Betty, describe this past year. It's been a bear. It's been full and wonderful.

30:28But everybody said, oh, Betty, it's so nice that you have such a nice comeback. I hate to say it. I've never been away, guys. I've been working steadily for the last 63 years. It just hasn't been in stuff that the pop culture has seen. Right. She's probably been doing a bunch of stuff that nobody cares about. Before, was she playing funny roles like now? Oh, yeah. Then what's the deal? She was like always known as the airhead. She always played the airhead roles. Funny. Funny. Good at it. Yeah. But anyway, the question was asked. She's 88. Do you have sex at 88 years old? Wait a minute. Now, I want to know because eventually I'm going to be 88 years old. I want to know, too. I don't actually – I don't know the answer. I don't. 88 and a half years old. I'm 88 and three quarters now. Okay, 88 and three quarters. How do I put this? Does one – Do you have swecks? I'll have sex. If one gets lucky, I bet they do. I think you're still interested in sex. I certainly do. I think it's an attitude. That's a no. I think she's still interested in it. Is she still having it? Probably not. Well, she probably doesn't have time because she's all over the place and she's not in a relationship. And how does an 88-year-old just go out and do it one night? And it's repulsive. Well, how about this?

31:56How about the other 88-year-olds? Yeah. 100% it is. There's 88-year-old men that are like, ew, gross. No way. They want 68-year-old women. You know what I mean? There's 107-year-old dudes that are like, look at that little young piece of tail. Oh, for sure. Nursing homes, they're all trying to knock boots. Oh. Subtle. My grandma's in a nursing home, and she's been proposed to like four times. Look at the cans on that girl. Yeah. Can I turn Jay's... Nope. I can't? Sorry. They're interested over there. I'm not able to turn that off, am I? Let's see. 570-194-9 is our number. All right. So there's the answer to that question. And I wanted to know, do people still have a... I think as you get older, your hormones change. So maybe you just aren't horny anymore. I don't think so. I think they always want to. It just doesn't happen as much. You think you're always horny? Yeah. I don't think you're horny at 88. Nothing's changed so far. Jay. Just vomited in my mouth. Jay lost his sex drive during the Civil War. But it came back. I found it. Alright, Justin Bieber talking about making out. Recently, a picture of Justin kissing a girl in the backseat of a car was all over the internet. I didn't even know anyone was taking pictures. It just kind of happened.

33:21I don't know. It's not really weird. Is it weird? No. I think every 16-year-old kisses me, right? So that's nothing out of the ordinary. Nope. Do you have a girlfriend? No. Justin? Yeah, what's up, girl? Do you... Yeah. I haven't even asked the question. Oh, my bad, my bad. What's up? What's up? Excuse me. Do you have multiple partners? What you think, girl? Everybody wants a taste of this. Well, it was only white before we interview that my producers told me that you were a boy. Yeah, you know, that'd be a common misconception, man, among some people. And, you know, a lot of people also think they think I'm white. And I'm not white. But I'm looking white at you. No, I ain't white. Wait, I'm looking at you. No, you're not. You're looking at what you think you see. I'm not a dumb lady. I can sue you. You're looking at what you think. You think you know me. You don't know me. I'm black. You're not black. I'm black. You're not black. Don't you hear the way I talk? Yes, but you're not black. I ain't white. I'm black. But I ain't white. Justin Bieber talking about how he will stay a star. So you're only 16. What do you do to make sure that you're still a star at 26?

34:48Read Judy Blume books. Stay grounded. Is that what mom does for you? Yes. Mom definitely helps me stay grounded. Yeah, she be grounding me all the time, man, when I be getting in trouble, you know? She took away his cell phone last week. Yeah, she did. I can't be texting nobody. How long are you grounded? Two months. Wow. It's a long time. Yeah, well, moms did catch me with two girls in my hotel room, so, you know. I got a lunar. Yeah, exactly. Let's see. So this is Barbara Walters getting a lesson on Jersey Shore slang. So, look, I need a lesson, okay, because you have your own language. So you've got to help me. G-T-L. I know that one, and I don't watch it. How about G-I-T? I was speaking in our language. That was freaking awesome. GTO, what is it? Gym, tanning, and laundry. It pretty much is an abbreviation for what we would, almost like a schedule, what we would do, you know, first thing when we'd wake up. Okay. Grenades. It's an unattractive female. Unattractive female. Like half the female cast of Jersey Shore. Yeah. What's the meaning of this grenade woods? What is the meaning? Yes. An unattractive girl. Like, let's say you and I are single and we go out and we meet two girls.

36:06And one's really good looking and one's not so much. I'm like, the good looking one's into you. And the other one's just kind of there. And I'm like, all right, pal, I'll jump on the grenade for you. So you close that deal. I'll take the grenade. Oh, my gosh. That's pretty brilliant, actually. I like that one. Call them and grenades to their face. It's like guys playing. Just fooling around. Yeah, like you would be a grenade. Yeah, 100%. Guy language that really nobody's really intended to hear. But just happens to be there's a camera there. It's like guy talk. Okay. Smush. It's the grossest. It's filthy. It's the grossest way I've ever heard it put. It was very funny to hear it, Barbara. Say smush. What's smush? It's like a hookup. I see. They give her, they are now defining the slang with slang. Yeah. Right. It's like a hookup. It's like when you slay somebody. Yeah, what's a hookup? It's a way of saying, of hooking up, having sex with somebody. So you two are smushing? Oh, my goodness. She's just like, are you and Sammy smushing? And I was like, uh-oh. So we corrupted you two. You could say that, yeah. Well, I must say this is an interview unlike many that I have done before. Would I die if I watched the episode of the Jersey Shore? Would I just flip out? Yes. Yeah. It's trash. I've never even seen one. I can't believe it. Lauren is so into it. She loves the Jersey Shore.

37:32Just they say that if you watch one, then you're obsessed. Snooki is so unattractive. She is so... Oh, it's just... Yeah, it's not even... She's short and orange. She's a bowling ball. Just like Garfield. She does. Like Garfield. She also talked to... She also likes lasagna, so... Just like Garfield. Barbara Walters... I also talked to Sarah Palin and asked her what newspapers and magazines that she reads. Same questions before. Well, let me try this. Would you like to tell us what newspapers, magazines, or books you are reading right now? Oh, I'm reading the best book right now. Dean Carzo's book about being an ultramarathoner. But I read a lot of C.S. Lewis when I want some divine inspiration. I read Newsmax and Wall Street Journal. I read... Highlights. All of our local papers, of course, in Alaska. Mad. Boy's life.

38:31That's where my heart is. That issue that I don't read or that I'm not informed. It's one of those questions where I like to turn that around and ask the reporters, why would it be that there is that perception that I don't read? Part of it was the interview with Katie Carr. Yeah, one interview where I rolled my eyes and I had a flippant answer back to her. And because of that, one episode. That one episode, that would turn an issue into what it has become over the last few years? I think that's ridiculous. Damn it, where's L.O.B. when you need her? Yeah. Bust out with her Sarah Palin. I know it. Barbara says she's got old lady mouth. She's had old lady mouth for 40 years. For a long time. She needs to take a drink of water. Sienna sleepwalked last night. Oh my gosh, you guys. This is weird. I pulled a Mikey and went to bed at like 6 o'clock. I haven't been feeling great. So I went to bed nice and early. So that's how I go to bed. And at 7 o'clock p.m., I woke up. This is so weird. I walked up where my husband was watching the game in the living room. And I said, where's my mask? I need the mask so I can sleep. And he was like, what are you talking about? I'm like.

39:46Oh, the mask! Like, in my mind, it was like, I don't even know what I wanted, you know? But I remember being like... gosh, why don't you know what I'm talking about? And I just got mad and was like, ugh, and walked back and went to bed. Ugh, mom! And he came in and followed me, and he's like, did you just sleepwalk? I don't even know what happened, but I was like, ugh, and just went back to bed. That is hilarious. Hysterical. I think I'm exhausted. You're exhausted. I've never slept a walk. I don't know what's going on. You know, Rebecca used to do this thing where she would kind of flail, you know, in bed. Sometimes she would move and she would keep moving me over. And I'd finally be like at the very end of the mattress and I'd be teetering there. And a big fat guy teetering on the end of the bed. It's not good. And so I finally, I told her, I was like, babe, do you know that you walk me to the precipice every night? And she goes, well, why don't you just move me over? And I go, because I don't want to, you know, I don't want to disturb you. And she goes, oh, I'll never know.

40:52And so I move her and she goes, what are you doing? And I go, see? And she's like, bubble gum, meat. And so the next day I asked her, she didn't even remember. So that's the bit now. I just move her if I have to. And she doesn't even, you know, she'll. I remember last night just because Todd followed me when I went back to bed and said, did you just sleepwalk? And I remember it like clicked like, what just happened? My whole family does that. Really? They all do it? Yeah. Liberty actually fell when she was sleepwalking the other day and had to get stitches in her chin. What? Oh, my gosh. She split her chin open. Then she went back to bed with her chin split open. So I wake up in the morning. She comes walking out. She goes, is this bad? There's blood all over. I'm like, yeah, that's horrible. Jay's like, let me get my needle and thread because I'm not taking it to the doctor. It's so weird. I just remember in my mind being like. Why don't you understand what I'm talking? I felt like Captain Buzzkill at the end of a conversation. He's like, ugh. Why don't you understand me? 570-1949 is our number. And I got an email for you. And you can call in on this. 570-1949 is the number. And you can also, if you want to, you can text us. 949mikey at gmail.com. Mikey, I was wondering what you guys think of this.

42:14Every year, we go to my wife's sister Pam's house in the OC for Christmas. Pam is basically the controller of Christmas, and no one stands up to her. She decides when we open presents what we're going to do, what we eat, what's on TV, and all that stuff. She also makes us all do poses for Christmas pictures. This year, because my wife and my brother-in-law... and my in-laws live in San Diego, Pam decided we were taking Christmas card pictures. She wants red sweaters and khakis. I hate doing all her dumb stuff in the OC every year, but it's her house. This is different. I don't even own a red sweater or khaki pants. I do drywall. My wife said she hired a photographer she likes from Irvine and plans on paying for all of it and thinks if we say no, it will be bad. What's your take? M1 Bullnose. Listen, this is a very, very, to me, simple case of battles and wars. Battles and wars. And walking it through. Just walk it through to its conclusion. Fast forward the tape.

43:36Okay, so let's say you go, I'm not wearing it. I'm not doing it. Okay, fast forward the tape. How does that end up for the family? Dude, go down to freaking Penny's, Mervyn's, whatever. Buy yourself a red sweater and some khakis and stand there like a nerd. Take one for the team. Take one for the team. I say the uglier, the better. Just go the opposite direction. Almost everyone has to go through with it. We all do the pictures and the family and the stuff that you don't want or the food that you have to make because it's tradition and you have to eat it, even though you don't like it. I mean, it's just part of the holidays. It is. Losing the battle to win the war. 5701949. What I want to know is, do you have to do this? Do you have a... There's a lot of issues going on here. One, do you have the controller, the Christmas controller? And, you know, usually the Christmas controller isn't just the Christmas controller. They're kind of the everything controller. You know, when we do this, when we do that, which, by the way, I don't necessarily have a problem with because Sienna knows better than anybody. If I don't have the leader, you know, kind of telling me where to go and what to do.

44:53I'm a bumbling mess. I have a good vision for, you know, like, but I need, like, this is how it's going to go. Guidance, you know, an itinerary. Otherwise, there's no itinerary going to be made. So do you have that person? The other thing is, have you ever had to dress like a moron? Yeah. You know, have you ever had to do the dumb Christmas picture? What's the dumbest one you've had to do? What's the most embarrassing one? You can think of. I can tell you guys one. In La Jolla, there's this really nice car place called Symbolic Motors. Do you want me to talk to you now? Wait till we get back. Oh, it's bad. When I was obese, I had to wear antlers. I need pictures. What? Who made you do that? My family. Mikey. Picture a 5'6", obese Mexican wearing antlers. If that doesn't get you to laugh, you're not even a human. If you can't laugh at a 5'6 Mexican obese guy in antlers, I don't know what to do with you. Wow. I don't know what to do with you. Call us about this right now. Any of those things, 570-1949. We'll be right back. So we got some people on the line right now telling us all the stupid stuff that they've had to do before for those holiday pictures, those Christmas cards and all that stuff.

47:08Did you hear what I just did, by the way? I said holiday pictures. Monster. Christmas pictures. Don't cave in. I know. I'm caving in. I'm caving in. Spud Light presents Real Men of Genius. See? Real Men of Genius. Today we salute you, Mr. Christmas Tree Guy Protester. Mr. Christmas Tree Guy Protester. Take that tree down or rename it. Make it a holiday tree. BPC and never give it. We see a Christmas tree. You see a slap in your really angry face. We like Santa. You like the holiday man. Merry Christmas. More like Merry Wintertime. When people say you're overly sensitive, in the true holiday spirit, you sue them until they take stuff down. Too much time on your hands. So crack open a nice cold spotlight, Mr. Sunshine of December, because you really put the mean in meaningful. Mr. I gotta be mad about something. So true. So true. Can we just enjoy our holiday? Nope. Let's just call it a Christmas card, okay?

48:26Christmas card. Happy holidays. Have you had to take a stupid picture for a Christmas card? I'm Mikey. That's Woods. L.O.B.'s not here today. Sienna is. She's our news girl. Jay's our producer. And screening phones today is Kraut. Kraut. Kraut. By the way, we'll be getting to those calls in just a second, but I think that I have to tell you that there are exactly five days. Oh, my gosh. 22 hours. 53 minutes. Until. Mikey-thon. Yikes. Yeah. I'll be sleeping again. Yeah. You ever sweat bullets real good? Yeah. That's what I'm doing. For five days. Let me tell you something. He's so confident because he's done it. Oh, no, dude. I'm going to get you. Uh-uh. No, I'm telling you, I freak out too, man. Dude. I freak out. I can't wait. Here's the deal. I nap every day. When I get home, my wife works now, so I'm bored out of my skull. Yeah. Nightmares. Every single day. I wake up, I'm like, me, me. Like that I fell asleep or I forgot to do something. I'm like, it's... It's killing me. I'm ready to get there and get it done because I'm so nervous. The M1s have a ton of questions. They're hitting me up all the time. You know what? I'll tell you what we'll do. We will take these calls. We'll take these calls about the Christmas cards and stuff. And then after that.

49:44We'll allow people to call in and ask questions. Great idea. I love it. Yes. Now, I'm going to tell you right now, there's probably going to be some questions that you ask that we don't have answers to right now. Right. In fact, you might bring some stuff up that we're like, oh, we better find that out. Yes. We'll appreciate it. But we will do our best to answer your questions. M1 Panajain from Spring Valley, are you there? Hi. How are you? Yeah, I'm here. Can you guys hear me? Yeah, can you hear me? No problem. Yeah. Okay, cool. Loud and clear. What was the deal with you and did you have a Christmas controller? My mother is the worst Christmas controller in the whole world. Just like a little example about her. Every year we would have two trees. One tree hidden away in the dining room for her five children to decorate however hideously we wanted to. Are you related to me? Because we had that too. You did? Yeah. We did too growing up. She would do like all gold and silver, red and green or whatever she wanted to do that year. She, like I said, we have five kids in my family. And for some reason, she always thought that we could take a perfect picture. If she sat us all down in the same sweater on a rock, we would all look great. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Oh, wow. I'm from North Carolina. And there's this little theme park called Tweetsie Railroad up in the mountains. And we were there for some Christmas thing. And my mom saw the booth where you can go and get your picture taken as a saloon girl. Oh, boy. Her eyes just lit up. Oh, boy.

51:12And she was like, oh, God, kids, we got to go. We got to do this. Let's go. Let's do this. And we're like, no, Mom, please, no. And poor girl. It says wanted at the top of it. Yes. Yeah, and you're holding an old Winchester made of plastic. You got gloves on. Lace gloves. It was worse. She had us all dressed up like little saloon girls, and she's got four girls and one boy. Great. You're like, hey, remember the Christmas we dressed as prostitutes? Yeah, she calls them saloon girls. We know what you were, all right? I was like 14 or 15, and then like the youngest of us was like nine, and then my little brother was seven. So she's got her like tween daughters dressed up like... Hookers. Hookers. Prosted. Old 1865. Wearing corsets. Hookers. Yeah, corsets. Boosty age. You made the most gorgeous woman of the night at 14. Oh, my God. You were in your prime, really, darling. You looked gorgeous. After the lady would take a picture, my mom would hop down off the bar saloon that we were posing on and come check the picture and be like, no.

52:26That's not right. Oh, my God. Darling, darling, pull your bra and panties just a bit. It doesn't look right in the photo. I'm looking at it. You got to pull your panties up a little bit. I can't see your bra strap. You can't see the bra strap. My little brother was dressed up like a gangster for some reason. Of course. Oh, my God. And he was, like, pointing a gun at my big sister. We're all, like, just sitting there. She's now the new Christmas controller. She's the only one smiling and pilling along. Mortifying. I'm staring off into space. My little sister's crying. Pana Jane, what are the odds that you will be a Christmas controller? Okay. But your sister is, right? Somebody gets it. Somebody gets it. It rubs off on someone. My grandma is, my mom is, and now I am. You are? Oh, yeah. I love Christmas. And you love directing and being like, shut your mouth. Todd is just fine. He's fine. Is he? Hey, listen, whatever. That's my attitude with it. I'm like, whatever. What do you want me to do? I'll stand. What do I do? Do I put my hand here? Great. Are we done? Can I eat? One year, my mom had a brilliant idea to go to Symbolic Motors, which is this really, really nice car place in La Jolla.

53:48The nicest cars ever. And she is the type of person that will ask to get whatever she wants, even when you know the answer is going to be no. So she walks in and is like, is it OK if my kids, I put my kids in like this like $200,000 car, Ferrari or whatever. And we take our Christmas card picture. Oh, wow. And the guy said yes. Oh, wow. And so we get in one of the cars. And I mean, my dad was just mortified and we were all mortified, except my mom is like, this is going to be great. And so we get in. My sisters are babies, little, like three and under. So imagine, you know, crying the whole deal, getting in the car. That was a nice man, by the way. The nicest man ever. Yeah. And so we get in the car. And of course, we have to have a Ferrari in our Christmas card. Of course you do. And so we get in. And the first car, we get a great picture. But that's not good enough. My mom wants a few different cars. So we go through the whole thing. And that's where our Christmas card was that year. uh on the phone with us right now it's uh is this uh yeah this is uh sienna's mom you know they all talk alike all the girls in sienna's family they all sound alike what are you doing we've raised the titanic you're taking pictures on the deck of the titanic

55:12Mom, did you get the heart of the ocean for it? Yeah, the heart, of course. The real one. Can I wear it as a necklace? Right. That's great. How fantastic. That's a really good idea. That is a good idea. I didn't know. I want a real dinosaur, not bones. And also, surprise. Yeah. I got the original Mona Lisa. Yeah. You know what I think was cool? Three years ago, you took pictures inside of Noah's Ark, which was great. That was a really good one. It was the real Ark. Yeah. It was a real deal. Yeah. It was the real thing. Of course it was. You wouldn't do it phony. Everybody's excited. Everybody's just thrilled. It's going to be great. This is Sage's first Christmas card, so it needs to be a big deal.

56:16Titanic. That's right. Literally doesn't get bigger than the Titanic. Have a good day. Thank you, Ansef. Bye, Mom. So sweet of her to call in. Yeah, she's a nice lady. Sienna's mom. Let's see. This is M1 Michelle from San Marcos. Are you there? I'm here. What did you have to do? My family likes to do skits all run by my aunt, who's the controller. And the year I became a teacher, she gave everybody a chorus and they had a vest. because she thought I'm a teacher, so I should wear a handmade vest. There's nothing worse than a vest, dude. There's nothing worse. Green? The entire 12 days of Christmas, but they changed it to the 12 days of teaching and made me put each vest on and take a picture with it. Terrific. And then they sent me home with a vest and wanted me to show them pictures of me wearing the vest. Oh. That's murder. Do you still have those pictures? I have some of them. I actually kept one of them because it's sequined red, white, and blue for Fourth of July. I work at a school where our colors are red, white, and blue, so I wear it as a joke. That's all you can wear it for. Hey, thanks for the call. I appreciate it. Thank you, Michelle. So brutal. 570-1949. What our parents do always rubs off on us. It's just a fact. Whatever our parents do is what we end up doing.

57:38My dad is notoriously frugal. Notoriously frugal. He's cheap. Why am I saying frugal? He's cheap. And my brother Steve came into town. We went to Legoland. When you're at Legoland and on a ride, they take a picture of you. Yeah. Okay? My brother Steve takes out his iPhone and takes a picture of the screen. Oh, I always do that. Where they're showing the picture. Yeah. And now he's got a picture of a picture so that he doesn't have to pay for it. It comes out really good. Oh, my God. You can't tell the difference. You can't spend the $5. It's $5. No. $5. I don't want a paper picture of it. I want it to be able to just immediately post it up to Facebook, like right there on the site. I say to my brother. what are you doing? I'm sure. What are you doing? I've taught my kids to do that. I thought you were going to say he held up the phone and took a picture while he was on the ride. No. No. I go, what are you doing? He goes, and he looked at me like I was an idiot. Insane? Yeah, he goes, I'm taking the picture. I go, of the picture? You're taking a picture of the picture? It's brilliant. It comes out so good. Any of the pictures on my Facebook that are me on a ride, that's exactly what I've done. It's been $5, Jay.

58:58The ones now at Disney, a lot of times, all they want you to do is enter your, you can go out there, you don't have to buy them. You just enter your email and they email them to you. That's pretty rad. El Cheapo. Yeah, El Cheapo. If you have questions about Mikey-thon, go ahead and give us a call. 570-1949. Can you do this, Jay? Get Adam on the hotline. Okay. And then... Because maybe Adam can help with some of this. He might know some of the answers to some of this. We've talked about it extensively. Okay, so you know anything, Dave? Okay, cool. Let's see. M1HB from Arby. What's your question? Hi. I actually have several questions. Okay. Weird. I know, right? First and foremost, they're talking about possible rain. Are you guys going to have provisions for rain? I had no idea. Nor did I. Why are you letting us know this now? Now I'm even more nervous. Now, are they calling for rain on Thursday? Well, that's all I've seen through is Thursday, and they're saying drizzle at this point. Fake bit. Yeah, it's fake bit. This is what I've heard about weather. A weather person once told me, a real, like it was a guy that does weather for NBC739.

1:00:09I'm fascinated by weather for whatever reason. Weird. And asked him about forecasts. He goes, if anybody ever gives you a five-day forecast, he goes, it's a bunch of baloney. I love it. He goes, the truth is that we really can't tell after about three days. Perfect. Even then, it's too late they can tell. Yeah. But who knows? If it is raining. Here's the dealio. We're going to have two big giant 20 by 20 tents out there for you to snuggle up underneath. Sweet. There's going to be some couches. We're going to throw some TV monitors out there so you can see what's going on inside the studio. There's going to be a big stage for us to do all of our shenanigans on and sound system. And we'll have projector screens for movies and stuff at night. Wow. Nice. Holy crap. There's going to be a barbecue pit. from one of our sponsors. I believe it's Barbecue's Galore. It's setting up a barbecue pit for the M1s to bring out. So we don't want you to bring your charcoal grills and that kind of stuff. They can bring meat. You can bring meat or other things that you want to do. So the barbecue pit will be set up out there. I know Divine Possibilities is doing some sampling for the M1s. I haven't heard about any other food yet. That is great. And bathrooms? Yeah, they're renting port-a-cans. Sweet. Sweet.

1:01:21So we're setting you up, man. We're setting you up out there. We're going to take care of you. This is what you have to understand. Mikeethon is the biggest event that we do all year long. It's a 28-hour marathon broadcast that pretty much tests everything that we do on the radio over a period of time. Right. Isn't easy, but is worth it for a great cause. This is all for Rady Children's Hospital and their Autism Discovery Institute. And it's pretty cool what goes on. Divine Postabilities, Wiener Schnitzel, Barbecue's Galore, Palm Restaurant, Randy Jones Sports Grill have all gotten in on this. We were going to have items that we're auctioning from Silver Sun Pickups, Muse, Weird Al, Cage the Elephant, Allison Chains. This is something that I want to go over again. We are going to do a deal where, you know, Woodsy had dinner last night with Brian Head Welch, formerly of Korn, at Pamplemousse. It's my favorite restaurant in the world. Pamplemousse is going to, and Jeffrey, he's the owner, come to, and you get to choose. He's going to come to my house or he's going to come to your house, whichever you want to do. And it will be dinner with the Mikey Show. This will be me.

1:02:40Sienna, Woods, L-O-B, and J. And so you get to choose whether you want us to come to your house or whether you want to come to my house. And the bidding on that will start at $1,500. Jeffrey will come over, do a Pample Moose deal, and it's pretty cool. Now, it's dinner for four of you. So if you're a couple, you get together with another couple, and you bid on this. And it's really you can't really put a price tag on it because it's an experience. It's a memory. A guy wrote me an email and asked, could he bring his family if he won? If it was a family of four. It's a family of four. Sure. Yeah. So, I mean, the reason that we set it at four people is because we thought, well, if a couple of couples got together, they could pull their dough together. Yeah, for sure. You know, and you pull the dough together and you go, OK, cool. We'll be able to, you know, but what I would like. is I don't want this thing to go for $1,500. No. You know, I want this thing to go for $10,000. Yeah, we want to raise as much money as possible for ratings. I want it to go for $20,000. I want it to go as high as it can possibly go. Hopefully, you know, the Mikey Show's got all kinds of people listening, and hopefully there's somebody that's listening that's just got deep pockets. And I realize that this is not going to be for everybody because everybody's not going to be able to put together even $1,500 to have four people go, and I get that.

1:04:01But this is a charity event where we're trying to raise a lot of money for the Autism Discovery Institute. My son Jake is autistic. And, you know, it's a big part of my heart. is to do this. People are also asking about the t-shirt and how you get a Mikey Show, Mikey Thon t-shirt. And for a $50 donation, which we're setting up right now, you can go online and that money will go directly to Children's and then we'll send you a shirt. Sweet. Oh, man, I love it. Hey, for the dinner, are we bringing our spouses? Uh-uh. No, okay. No. It's just us. No. I was going to say if BFMC was there, I'd bring my guitar and we'd jam, but maybe I'll just bring my guitar anyway. Yeah. We'll just sit around and jam. Yeah. Yeah, you will. Yeah. I will. Put you to work. Put me to work. Yeah. Juggling, card tricks, whatever you want. I'll polish diamonds. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. I'll show you a collection of Bibles.

1:04:53We also, on Thursday morning, we haven't really put down the time, we want all the M1s to decorate their cars with the Mikey-thon information so we can let everybody in town know. And we're coming up with a cool prize. I think Adam has secured a full-on barbecue pit to give away. Wow. From barbecues galore, yeah. So decorate their cars how? Like advertising the Mikey show. So that everybody in town, we want everybody in town to dollop their cars with, you know. Killer. Whatever you can put on it. And then we will pick the best one and they'll get. A barbecue pit. Yeah, we'll do a parade on the side of here. We'll just have you drive by, and we'll get on top of the garage up there, and we'll just pick cars that we think are the finalists and reward them. 570-1949 is our number, so I would start planning that now. Yeah, less than a week away. Yeah, it's less than a week away, so start planning how you can decorate your car and make your car look the coolest advertising the Mikey Show. And obviously we want you to drive around, you know, and do that. Let everybody in town know. Will you guys be creeped out if I wear a bathrobe? Yes. While we're on the air? Yeah, for sure. Why would you wear a bathrobe? Because I'm comfortable in one and I want to be comfortable. Guy loves a bathrobe. I do love a bathrobe. He loves a good bathrobe. So if I'm just sitting here in my bathroom, that'll bother you?

1:06:10I think it would be a little weird, yeah. What would you wear? Flannel PJs on her. Last year we all put our pajamas on last year. Oh yeah, every year. That was so nice. There's a certain time of night where I will go to pajamas. You'll be wearing pajamas? Well, my version of pajamas. So he's nude. Nude. That wouldn't be too creepy. Oh my gosh. The black team. So why do you think the Eagles think that there's a prejudice about Michael Vick? Woodsy, I'll tell you, and Woods on Sports next. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience here today. The way that you answer this question may have a very profound impact on our friendship. Have you watched Inception? How dare you? Not yet, Mike. I don't have the time. I have to go home to a baby.

1:07:53I want you to know what a totem is. By Monday, I will have seen it. Do you know who did watch it? Who did watch it? Uh-huh. Who? Lauren O'Brien. Get her on the phone. She hated it. Thank you for ruining the surprise for me. So maybe I don't get her on the phone. Yeah. No, get her on the phone. Find out why. I'm going to watch it. A totem, so you know, is like a little thing that looks like a dreidel in the movie. Oh, okay. Well, I'm going to watch it this weekend. She hated it. Watched it, loved it. I think I'm going to like it. You saw it, Jay? Oh, yeah. I saw it in the theaters. You saw it in the theaters, yeah. Get her on the phone. I've got it. Classic Michael. Wake her up. Classic Michael Oversell. I'm going to choke you until you start to pass out. That was like the biggest movie for a long time. I'm quoting somebody else, so you can't really shoot the messenger, pal. Is that what she said? Yeah. She said classic Oversell. Classic Mikey Oversell. Oh, boy.

1:08:55It's okay, Mike. Everyone has different tastes. This is L.O.B. She doesn't even own a TV. Kind of like truffle fries. Woods. I know. I'm biting my tongue. I'm biting my tongue. You're upsetting him. I'm biting my tongue. I'm biting my tongue. It's okay. Why? It's okay. Let it fly. A lot of people like Inception. I'm looking forward to it. What do you got? You got nothing. I love you. You got nothing. I love your face. You got nothing. Stop it. That's why. Why are you doing this to me? This is what Mike lives for. And you're crushing his dreams. I know. He does it to me, though. It's okay. I don't. You do. M1 Randy from Carmel Mountain. Yeah. What was the word of the day? That is correct. That's all I know. I made it out of clay. I made it out of clay. You just won a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld worth $276 and a Mikey Show t-shirt. Hang on the line. Hang on the line. Did you get a voicemail? Yes. All right. Weird.

1:09:55When have you ever called L.O.B. and didn't get voicemail? She answers when I call her. She does? She doesn't. Never once. No. I've never. She never calls back. You have to text her. Yeah. Never. She doesn't pick up when you call? No. I'll call her right now. We'll see if she answers. Let's see. Let's see. She does. Sienna's going to call on her phone. Okay. I'm telling you, she every time has answered. So if she doesn't, that means that she's sleeping. She never answers when I call. Me neither. Ever. Can't put on speakerphone. And I mean ever. I hope she doesn't cuss. She won't. Hi, this is Lauren. Hi, it's Lauren. Come on, Lauren. Come on. Don't you do it, Lauren. Nope. She must be busy with Matt. She's sleeping. Lauren. You've reached Lauren. Lauren. Lauren. I've heard that a hundred times because I've called her 100 times. No. No pick up. Right? Man. I know it. That hurts. We'll talk to her in a minute. In the meantime, Woods is going to fill us in. Little Woods on Sports. Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. There was a football game in the NFL last night. It was Peyton Manning who, going into this game, probably for the first time in a while, his hands were probably shaking. He'd thrown 11 interceptions in the last three games, which is very un-Payton Manning-like.

1:11:47Came out, played really, really well. 25-35 last night. Mistake-free. No interceptions. And the Colts desperately needed a win. They'd lost three in a row. And they won 30-28 over the Tennessee Titans. And Mikey started the Titans defense and got one point last night. So that's not good. Listen, I didn't have much choice. Isn't that the worst? Yeah. The other option was to start the Rams defense, and they're playing the Saints. And you're in the playoffs, right? Yes. What's that like? Well, it's not great when your defense gets you one point and you're playing a great team. Yeah, I can't wait for my opponent to start the Steelers defense. Oh, boy. Against Cincinnati. Oh, boy. They're going to have like seven pitch. Yeah, in Pittsburgh. In Pittsburgh. They may shut Cincinnati out. Yes. Good chance. Yeah. Good chance. Also, Mike Vick and the Eagles. are crying about something new. He doesn't get treated like the other quarterbacks in the NFL. He gets hit too hard. He's crying. What? He says, not to take anything away from the other quarterbacks in the league, but if you go back and watch film, I'm always getting hit after I let go of the football.

1:13:02I'm constantly getting hit, constantly getting my face mask pulled and getting hit in the head. It's never called. I think it's because I run the ball so much the referees will sometimes just overlook that. He's right. They have to understand that when I'm in the pocket, I'm a passer. If I get hit late, they should call it. I'm not complaining. I just want to be treated fairly. All I know is... If somebody hurts Tom Brady's feelings, they throw a flag. This isn't about Tom Brady. This is about Mike Vick. Right. But his point is that he's treated differently. And I'm saying they don't throw the flag on Mike Vick's hits. My heart breaks for him. Somebody says to Tom Brady, Tom, you don't look very nice today. It's a 15-yard penalty. First of all, is it? Yes. Second of all, he always looks nice. Second of all, yeah, Mike, he's... Gorgeous. Okay, fair enough. They're never going to say that. They wouldn't say that. Come up with something different. Their coach, Andy Reid, is also bothered by the lack of calls on Mike Vick. And, you know, I got to say, man, my heart just bleeds for that guy. You know, I feel so bad for him that he doesn't feel good about being a millionaire quarterback in the NFL after, you know, everything he has been through. He has a really, really hard life. He's got it tough. You know.

1:14:19He's got it so tough. I feel so bad for him. My heart's bleeding for him. I'm very upset. He's never been given a break. Yeah, the guy's never had a break. Never been forgiven. Just constantly kicked and electrocuted and drowned and stuff, man. It's brutal. Do you guys see what he's doing to me? You know what he's doing, right? You guys, everybody, do you know what he's doing? Maybe there's people that don't know what he's doing. This is called baiting, okay? He puts out bait, and I'm like a trout, okay? Lauren just texted me. Lauren just texted me? Lauren just texted you? See? I saw it light up. She said, hey, I just woke up. I was right. Sound and feel so awful. Thank goodness I didn't come in. Do you need me? Yeah, call her. Sound and feel so awful. Call her. I love it. Yeah, we'll talk about Mike Vick. I could talk about that clown ad nauseum. He doesn't like the way the officials are calling the game. That's the point of the story. Also, the New York Yankees. I think Michael Vick has changed. Oh, yeah. You know what you're doing, Mike, by arguing with him. I think Michael Vick has changed. And I am willing to give people a second shot until they prove otherwise. And I believe in forgiveness. Me too. And I believe in redemption. Me too. Me too.

1:15:38I hope. 100%, especially in his case. Also, the New York Yankees have up their offer. I won't fall for this. It's okay. Just stay strong. I won't fall for it. I'm strong. Yes, I'm a trot looking at a delicious looking worm. It's a load of chum in the water. Yes, but I won't. I won't do it. Stay strong. You don't have to, pal. The New York Yankees have made an offer to Cliff Lee. It's mind-boggling to me that these guys make so much money, but the six-year offer was, he will confirm, the six-year offer was for more than $137.5, but less than $150. I have heard this morning they have also offered him a seventh year, which will put Mr. Lee at 39 years old when his contract is up. Seems like money well spent. And also, the Chargers will play the Chiefs this weekend at home. The game is not blacked out. Tell me what you heard about Matt Castle. Matt Castle had... An appendectomy. They were saying, he might start this weekend. And I said, that is baloney. They're saying that because they want to kind of put it out there. The Chargers are like, ooh, should we prepare for him? Who do we game plan for? Who do we game plan for? When in reality, they know full well that he isn't going to start. That's what I thought. But then I read yesterday, Kevin Acy was tweeting that

1:17:00The procedure that he had to remove his appendectomy was actually four appendectomy surgeries, extremely non-invasive. Oh, boy. And the type of thing that one recovers from generally in about three days. Huh. So, it's a possibility. But most people don't play football, you know, right after. He's not the average person. That is true. True. And imagine you have a sore appendectomy. And a linebacker like Stephen Cooper slams his shoulder pad into your appendectomy. Yeah. Into your appendix. Oh, my gosh. And drives you into the turf. Yep. And then the next play does it again. Because he knows where to hit you. Yeah. Well, so they're, you know, Todd Haley's being really secretive. He's not showing his cards yet. And, you know, for the Chargers, it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter if it's Castle. Doesn't matter if it's Brody Crowell. This is a must-win game for Phillip Rivers Cut 1. I mean, we've got to win. I mean, we know what's at stake. Like I said, we felt like we've been playing playoff football since we were 2-5. And we won four in a row that way and obviously stumped our toe last week.

1:18:16You know, in a lot of ways, still in the same boat. I mean, this is playoff football starting this Sunday. I love you, Phillip. No, yeah. I love you. Good dude. Get out there and get him. The gamer. Go get him, Tiger. Go get him. If I could slap your butt, I would. That's right. Of course you would. As would I. Is that it, buddy? That's it, my man. Woods on Sports. Done. On the phone with us right now is Lauren O'Brien. Lauren, are you there? Hey, guys. Oh, my gosh. Oh, no. I have a sore appendectomy. You do not sound good, L.O.B. Cookie Monster, can I please speak to Lauren O'Brien? I think I didn't come in. I love you, Lauren. Other mother. She sounds like other mother. I love you now. Do you love me? It's the same voice. Couldn't even tell the difference. Exact same. Are you okay? Let's pull the curtain back a little bit on L.O.B. Yeah. Can we? Yeah. L.O.B. sent us.

1:19:16No less than 27 emails yesterday wanting to come back to work so badly. She just wants to be here, and we want her here. She's bored out of her mind. Her boyfriend won't even come over. You wrote an email that made me laugh out loud, which was embarrassing because I was sitting at a table with a bunch of people at my house last night. And I was sneaking my cell phone to look to see, you know, because you know me. Yeah. And so I read this email from her that says that her sister came over, dropped some chicken soup off at the door, knocked on the door, and ran to her car. And that Lauren opened the door and said, I'm not a monster! She said she feels like Beast from Beauty and the Beast. Quasimodo. Yeah. I do. Nobody wants to hang out with me. Yeah, that's not a good feeling. She wanted to come back to work today, and she said that she talked to Woods and Sienna separately, and they both very kindly said, can you please stay away from here? I said, fine. I said, yeah. She's like, I'm all in a separate room. I wanted to joke slam you when you said that. Well, see, L.O.B. had talked to her mother, and her mother was like,

1:20:36Lauren, you sound terrible. Yeah. You should stay home from work again. Yeah. And I go, hey, listen, I got to agree with mom and other mother on this one that maybe you just kick it at the house. Yeah. I said, if you got symptoms, you're contagious. I know. And I was like, you know what? I'm not coughing anymore. I'm not sneezing. It's just my throat. It's just, you know. And then, yeah, last night it started to feel like I was swallowing glass. Wow. I had a hard time sleeping. Well, the good thing, L.O.B., is that we have a 28-hour broadcast next week, so you'll be right as the mail. That's right. Well, we are actually calling you for a reason, L.O.B. Okay. I was told by Woods that you saw Inception. I did. I saw it. Mike, just brace yourself. Don't freak out. Woods said you hated it. I did not hate it. She hated it. No, I did not hate it. Woods ever oversell a point. Do you ever oversell movies? You didn't hate it? No, I didn't hate it. I thought it did not live up to the hype, though. But that doesn't mean she hated it. She made some smart A comment about it. What was your comment, Ella B, about the animation or something? Okay.

1:21:58I said, I thought that they spent way too much money on the sound effects. I mean, I'm sorry, special effects and like the gunfire and explosions and all that stuff. And they had this beautiful premise in front of them and they could have more time developing. And then I said on Facebook, I said, maybe grow up Pete with the matrix effects and contract. It's pretty gnarly, dude. I don't know what to do. I'm going to cry. I don't know what to do. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. I really wanted, because even, you know, Mike, you've been selling this for like six months. So long. That's all he talks about every day. I know. And then BFMC was like, I think it may be the best movie I've ever seen. Wow. Are you serious? And I was like, what the heck is all the hype? Inception's good. Yeah. Inception's really good. I bought it on Blu-ray on Tuesday when it came out, and I will watch it this weekend. You got it. I will not. I'm not going to take that away from it. Woods, I thought you would. I'm not going to watch it. After LLB gave me her, you know, thumbs down, I'm out. He'll watch it, but he'll tell you he didn't. Yep. And then one day we'll come out in conversation, he'll let it slip that he watched it, and we'll be like, what? So just know he will. Don't let it upset you. But yeah, you'll watch Crazy Heart.

1:23:23Over and over. So good. It's brilliant. L-O-B. Yeah. Since we have you on the phone. Yeah. You know that we have had a lot of fun with the song that you sang to your boyfriend, Matt Commerce. Oh, boy. BFMC. Yeah. We've had a lot of fun with that. I know. And for those of you that don't know. We'll continue to do so as well. I sound like a man, by the way. Yes. A little bit. A little bit. Yeah, this is actually a 30-year-old woman that we're talking to on the phone for those of you that are tuning in. It's Lauren O'Brien who's homesick today. She's not feeling good. But, oh well. But Lauren, one time for her boyfriend, went into the bathroom and, no. Tell us later. She went into the bathroom with a laptop and she recorded

1:24:24a very sexy version of Santa Baby. She had roommates at the time, and none of them were home. She made sure nobody was home. She went in there. She recorded it. Now, this is what you've got to know about L.O.B. She is a very private person. Yes. Very private person. It takes a long time for her to reveal things about herself to you. It took almost a year for her to tell us that she had done this. It took almost six months for her to tell us her favorite color. That's true. And she told us and we begged her. I was on my knees at one point. I was on maternity leave. Called in. We had to beg her to let us hear it because the only two people in the world that had heard it were her BFMC. Her boyfriend met commerce and her. It was that private. And she says it's humiliating. And it's, you know, in context, here's a girl in a bathroom recording a parody song for her boyfriend, sending it to him. Here's what it sounded like. Pulling off those white gloves finger by finger with her teeth. When we played it.

1:26:28She almost died. She was under the board. She crawled under the board. Was sitting in fetal position. Well, I decided to have a little bit. Oh. And I decided that I was going to do my own version. No way. Yes! I did not know. Does anybody want to hear it? Yeah! When we come back, I'll play you the new version. L.O.B., do you want us to call you back so you can hear it, or do you want to stay on hold? I can stay on hold. Okay, hang on. We'll be right back. Let's make some noise in here. So we're going to be talking to L.O.B. here in a second, or should we call her other L.O.B.? You found the song, Mike. I did. I was asking the other day, I said to Sienna, I go, Sienna, what's that song? And she was like, I was singing it so bad, she goes, I don't know. And then I kept having to do it, and she goes, oh, I know what you're talking about. Turns out it's a band called Nota? No, this is Nota. N-O-T-A. But it's called Down. Yeah. Yeah, I knew it was called Down. Yeah. Didn't you say it was Flo Rida? Yeah, but this isn't the version.

1:28:25It isn't? This is like from Glee or something. Is it really? Yeah. Everyone's nodding. This is not the right version. Idiots. It's not it? Oh, dear. Mikey. I'll find it right now. No. Even when I left work yesterday, I was like, okay, I'm out of here. Mike, do you need anything? He's like, yeah, just what that song is. Who sings it? I said, it's called Down. That's all I know. It's, it's. Oh, no. You got the wrong one. I guess I got like a glee one. I was like, that's not it. It's J. Sean. Of course it is. Flo Rida J. Sean. J-A-Y. Of course. Sean. S-E-A-N. Great. It features Lil Wayne. Of course it does. How did I not get the right one? I should have known when it was 42 cents. Mike, you played that and you're like, ha ha.

1:29:26I found it. Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, this is it. I was like, that is not so close. And I was like, Sienna's so dumb. She thinks it's Flo Red. It's actually Nota. Who's this Glee guy? Nota. Yeah, who's this Glee guy? Yes. It's actually someone named Glee. I can't wait for you to hear the difference. Like, they're so different. Oh, wow. It's very different. Then they'll be like, ooh, ah, hee, hee. Oh, that's awesome. I love this song. Sounds so much better than that other one. You listen to that other one like all afternoon. Yeah, I was like, I was trying to rock out to it or whatever, you know, I was trying to get into it and I was just like, you need your leather jacket. I was like, man, I thought this was way cooler. It's because a 14 year old with zits and braces was singing the version I downloaded. Can I tell you, dude, that I did the same thing on iTunes? I wanted to buy Bob Seger Hollywood Nights. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, Hollywood Nights. I bought it. It's some cover band doing Hollywood Nights. It's not even Seger. I was like, what the hell is this? He's not on iTunes. So there you go. This is a good song. Like three years ago.

1:30:43Really? Is it old? Is it old? Yes. Oh my God. I just know it was out when I worked on Channel 933. Oh boy. And so I heard it all the time. Over a year ago. Easy. That's me though. He thinks he discovers these. I do. Like that's what happened when I heard California Love by Tupac. Because I don't listen to hip hop. And so I heard California Love and I'm like. This is great, man. I'm going to find out what this is. I'm going to download it. I'm going to introduce it to the M1s, and they're going to be like, the guy is so hip. I just Googled when did that song come out, and it says 2008. Oh, my God. Same with Stan from Eminem. You did the exact same thing you told your wife. You told your wife how great it was. Babe, I just heard this great song from Eminem called Stan. It's okay. It happened to me yesterday with my sister. She's like, you haven't heard this song? It's a Will Smith and his daughter who's 10 has a song that's really famous. Willow? Willow. It's pretty good. Come on. She sounds like she's 30. She's like...

1:31:45She could sound like Aretha Franklin and it wouldn't be good. I mean, the song is kind of ridiculous, but it's catchy. Will Smith, come on. It's catchy. It's good. It's called like Whip Your Hair or something like that. Wait, so you don't like Will Smith? No. And so because you don't like Will Smith, you're like, there's no way his daughter's song can be good? Yes. Okay. My sister, her jaw fell open when I was like, she sings? She's like, you haven't heard that song? You haven't heard Whip My Hair? Yeah. Sienna, everybody knows this song. You're so lame. Everyone knows Whip My Hair. I know. That's how she sounded. Should be on your ringtone. Whip My Hair. All right. This is Whip My Hair by Willow. Oh, my gosh. Let's see what we think about it. Wait till she starts singing. Her voice. Keep in mind, she's 10 years old. Woods. Is laying back in his chair looking at the ceiling like he's dying. Listen to her voice. Woods, that's kind of impressive to me. It is. Isn't that kind of? Yeah, I agree. I agree with you. Our phone screener, Chris, loves this song. If somebody said, how old do you think this singer is, I'd say 48. I would too. Sounds like Rihanna a little bit. Yeah. She's 10. It's amazing what software can do.

1:33:10Fifth grade. Hey, dude, software couldn't do that to my voice. I bet it could. Oh, it totally could. We've done some auto-tune with you, and you sound dynamite, my friend. I don't sound like that. Well, we've got to get a professional auto-tune thing. I mean, Will Smith probably got like the... top of the line. Really? So you think Will Smith went to Toys R Us and bought this for her? No, I'm saying he's probably got a studio to write his crappy rap songs in. This is like a number one hit, this song. And then their other kid who's 12, Jaden, he's like a great actor. The Karate Kid. Well, that movie. Pursuit of Happiness was good. He was great in that. That's impressive. You know, that's the only movie I liked Will Smith in. I loved him in that movie. God, he was brilliant. Brilliant. It's the only movie you like? Yeah, it's the only one. You didn't like Independence Day? No. You don't like Aliens? No, come on. Didn't like I Am Legend. Oh, that's a good movie. I saw it and fell asleep, so I didn't get to finish it. It's so scary. Ella B's on the line. Hi, Ella B. Other Ella B. Thank you for being patient. I can't believe you need me to listen to that song. I know, Ella B. You haven't heard it either? I need you here. You guys are killing me. I'm with my hair. I'm with my hair. I'm with my hair. I'm with my hair. All right. It's not that bad. I saw the video of like a parrot.

1:34:21All right. Are you ready for this? I'm ready. This is my version of L.O.B.'s song. My version, instead of called Santa Baby, is called Kinda Creepy. Kinda creepy. My roommates think I've lost my mind. Oh, my God. Put me on the waiting list. Oh, my God. For a white straight jacket, I can't resist. I might be kind of misunderstood when I'm sneaking around the black neighborhood. Kind of creepy. I want to slit your throat in your sleeve. I'll eat your eyes with a spoon.

1:35:24Kinda creepy. My toilet has become a beat laugh. Creepy cutie. I'll be wearing your face as a mask tonight. I'll make you mine. Kinda creepy. Recording in the bathroom at night. Real creepy. I'm wearing stockings over my face for this. Use your skull as a bowl Kinda creepy I'll hack you up and wear your clothes Come and sing sweet songs to me With the same recorded melodies I record it just for you And I'll turn your ears right

1:36:38into stew kind of creepy forgot to mention that I might call and hang up kind of creepy I'm gonna eat your nose with brown rice I'm gonna eat your nose with brown rice I'm gonna eat your nose with brown rice gorgeous Weird laugh. Another banner day. Here you go, L.O.B. Was that live?

1:37:23No. No. That kind of magic doesn't happen unless you go into a recording studio. Yeah. And I recorded it with Jay. Oh, my gosh. He got to see me, like, sashaying. He was sashaying. He was doing little movements. I was imagining you, like, whipping your hair around. He was. The funny thing is, he did it in the men's bathroom, which is weird. I didn't really get into it. It frightened me a little bit. I was having trouble not laughing while I was doing it. I was like, he was so serious. Well, I hope you enjoyed that, L.O.B. Oh, I did. Get healthy over the weekend. I will. And we'll see you back in here on Monday. Okay, sounds good. All right, we'll talk to you later. Bye. Bye, L.O.B. Bye-bye. I love you. I love you. Do you love me? That really sounds like her now. It's so scary to me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, so what do we got? So we did that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We do have to do this. Um, cause we promote it. Has anybody ever given you a gift? Okay. And you realize, and they did it kind of spontaneously either at the office or at a party or something like that. And you realize I don't have anything for you. Like suddenly it comes to you like, Oh, thank you. That's Oh my gosh. That's hang on just a second. I yours is in the car and you're jamming down to like target, whatever.

1:38:50Because you've got to get something. Rebecca and I went to a party one time, and we brought a gift. And, you know, it was just a bottle of wine, you know, or whatever. And they knew we were coming to this Christmas party, and it was, you know, her family. It was like the side of her family she never sees. She bought this bottle of wine. And the lady could see the look of terror on her face. We gave it to her because she... because she didn't have anything, and we didn't expect anything, but we could tell by that look on her face what it was about. And so, to this day, we call it the gay snowman. What she did was, she ran, she said, oh my gosh, I've got something too. Went into a back room, and she was gone for about 15 minutes, and she came back with this sort of homemade little styrofoam snowman that had a rainbow. Because one of the styrofoam balls was a rainbow. And what's great is when somebody presents you with a homemade gay snowman and you get it, you have to go, oh. I love this. That's a snowman. How adorable. It was styrofoam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Homemade in the back room.

1:40:10Yeah, but she presented it in a little box. She put it in a little box. Was it like a Pop-Tarts box? No, it was like a jewelry box. It was a box that something else had come in. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were like, oh, this is, wow, look at that. It's a snowman that you put in a parade. gay parade because it's got a rainbow around it. Holy cow. We don't know why the rainbow with the rainbow, but you know, hey, listen. She didn't even need to do that because you were coming to her house. Of course. It's like housewarming. Yeah, like here's wine. Yeah, it was a Christmas party. Yeah, you have to show up with something. I'll tell you though, you know, it's such a good move too, Mike, because there's a girl, when we first started here, I took a bottle of wine to your friend's house for that little thing. When I saw her, wherever I saw her last, she's like, I still have that bottle of wine you brought. I was like, oh, thank God I wasn't a...

1:41:01tool and didn't bring anything. Yeah, you have to bring something when you go to someone's house. But you shouldn't expect anything back, you know, if you're going to someone's home. Well, even at work, I used to, when we worked over at the other place, I would make a whole bunch of, we'd always make a whole bunch of gifts and not put any names on it. Names, yeah. So when they'd come in my office and go, hey, I got you something, I'd be like, well, hold on a second, I got something for you. I do the same thing. Last year they had this wine that was called Reindeer Wine and I bought so many extra bottles and just kept them, you know. And it's reindeer, so it's Christmassy and wine, and who doesn't like it? I carried those in the car. Except for Mike. Except for Mike. No, but always have a little go-to something just in case. Right. That's a good idea. I'm going to just keep extra 20s in my wallet, and I'll just sling them a 20. Sure you can. People love cash. It's just a card with cash in it. Yeah. Has anybody done this? 5701949. What do you give to somebody when they give you something and you don't have anything prepared? What's the protocol there? I guess you just look at him and say thanks. Well, he's just fold the 20 in his hand and handshake. Grease him. Grease him. Grease him at her D from time to time. That's right. 570-1949. Or you can text us, 949mikey, at gmail.com. The iTunes best-selling singles and albums of this year, because now we're coming to the end of the year, and people want to know. This is the best-selling singles of 2010. Eminem, Not Afraid, number 10.

1:42:29Do you know it, Woods? I'm not afraid. Yeah, that's a good song. It's a good one. Lady Antebellum. Need You Now. Oh, so good. Love it. So good. Is that the one where she's talking about getting drunk and calling a dude? Yeah. It's a country song. It shouldn't be boiled down to just that. That's what it is. It's great. She gets wasted, she calls him. Play it. I love it. To me, it looks like a leprechaun to me. No, I love it. It's one of those songs that we've all... been in that mindset. This song right here. This song makes me nervous. Makes me sad. Yeah, it makes me nervous and makes me remember those days. It's a booty call. Yeah, not a booty call. It is not a booty call. You're just lying there like, why are they here? Yeah, it's, you know what it is? It's they broke up with you. Yeah. And it's a quarter after one and you're drunk and you're thinking that they're with somebody and you're just wishing that it was like it was when you were completely in love. Yes. Right? Yes. I was driving through this area that I'd never been in the other day. Yeah, I would say the other day, it was when we were,

1:44:03going to that rehearsal studio for when I sang. And I was coming home, and I was using GPS to take me home. I went through an area I'd never been in. But for whatever reason, it reminded me of the area that I used to drive through because the girl that I was dating at the time was cheating, and I was pretty sure she was. And I would drive through this area because I was pretty sure that that's where... The boyfriend was, the other guy. And eventually I was right. And I remember finding her car. That's 13, 14 years ago. I'm driving. I go, oh, my God. And, like, it hits your belly. Oh, that pain. That heavy thing in your belly. You know, when you think something creepy is going down. It's that. Gosh, I hate that feeling. The Lady Antebellum song makes me nervous because I think of that stuff. Such a good song. Kesha. TikTok. You guys know that? Of course. Woods, you don't like it? No. I don't like Kesha. You said it right, you guys. I'm proud of you. Let's see. Keisha. No, Jay. I don't like anybody who put the dollar sign in their name. Woods, if you were alone in your car, as ridiculous as the words are, you can't not dance along. I would put on Poker Face by Lady Gaga. It's the same thing. You know that. It's the same thing. You are awful. It is catchy.

1:45:35I've never understood Woods because he'll like one, he won't like the other. He's impossible to read. You can't understand it. I keep you guessing. Yes. Number seven, Tal Cruz, Break Your Heart. Oh, yeah. In or out, Woods? Out. Don't all these sound the same to you? They do. I don't like this one. Number six, Usher, OMG. Ugh. Featuring Will.i.am. Number five, these are the best-selling iTunes singles of 2010. Number five, Tal Cruz, Dynamite. Like that one. He's a big seller right now. You will like this one, Woods. Number five is B.O.B. Airplanes with Hayley Williams, the chick from Paramore. You know that song? I think I do, but I don't know if I liked it or not. You did. It's this one. It's this one. Because you said that, Mike. He's going to go, oh, I hate this song. Yeah, I hate it. I haven't even heard it. I hate it. I know.

1:46:40Is it B.O.B. or is it Bob? B.O.B. Is there period? Are there periods? Yeah. Yeah, B.O.B. Yeah, I heard it. It's pretty catchy. It's pretty good. I like that Bronx voice. This one has, did you say it has Eminem? This one does not. It has Hayley Williams from Paramore. Yeah, there's a version of it with Eminem, too. Speaking of Eminem, the number three song that was downloaded. in the iTunes was this one. Still love it. It's my favorite. You know what I'll tell you? I just figured it out in my head. I just figured it out why I'm like that. So you played a song earlier, some Tao Cruise or whatever, and Sienna was like singing along. Here's what I don't like. In three months, Sienna will be like, that song's played out. Nobody likes that song anymore. Once I like a song, to me in my car, I still put on New York State of Mind by Jay-Z. But if I was at a club and played that, people would be like, oh my God, this guy is so freaking lame. He thinks that's... What bothers me about music like that is that there's a shelf life on it. And it's like six months. And once the shelf life's over, it's lame. Yeah, but not to everyone. But to most. But what about this song? See, now this song I love. This is a great song. In 2020, I'll be like, jamming this song.

1:48:09But you'll be like, oh, that song is so played out. I don't think so. All music has a shelf life. Not all of it. No. It depends on how much you hear it. Some people will hear the song over and over again, and they may be like, oh, this song is so, I'm over it. I'm sorry. You hear Start Me Up, 30 years later, you're like, oh, yeah. And ACDC, you hear, we talked about it the other day. That's based on opinion, though. But really, no. I never want to go back and listen to it. That's the crazy thing. It burns on me. Oh, man. 30 seconds of it's fine. That pop, that real poppy, like. dance clubby music people are like oh my god that's so lame that you like that and i'm like you were jamming like a g6 three months ago and now it's lame i don't get it yeah to me it's hard to keep up with what's cool and what's not i like them yeah you know i stay liking them though i just like new and that makes you lame according to a lot according to a lot of people Yeah. And I'm right there with you. You'll always like that song, but sometimes you need a break from it. Like, apologize. Like, if you played Apologize, people would be like, oh my God, that song's so played out. Number two, Katy Perry, California Girls. In. With Snoop Dogg. You're in on this one? In. What?

1:49:16Yeah, because six months later, this won't be lame. You know why I'm in on it? You are so contradictory. You know why I'm in on it? You know why I'm in on it? You know why I'm in on it? You know why I'm in on it? Because Hoyle sang it. That's why I'm in on it. And I will always have a near, dear place in my heart for this. Hearing Hoyle go, it's a jam. I live in California, too. You just said this is the jam. It's a jam. Even I'm embarrassed of that one. Is there any bands on there with guitars or drums? Yes. The number one. This is what sells. The number one most, the best-selling iTunes single of 2010 does have guitars in it. Who's this? Train. You knew that. I met those guys. They're nice guys, so I won't talk bad about them. But I'm not a big fan of their music. They came back strong. Woods is the hardest person to figure out when it comes to music. It's like good stuff, dude. Good stuff.

1:50:40Yeah. I like some cheesy stuff. Yeah. Yeah, you do. You know, because you like Taylor Swift. Real good. Love Taylor Swift. Yeah. It's very talented. I just bought a magazine yesterday with Taylor and Jake Gyllenhaal cuddling on the cover. Good. They're fully together. Next song, Dear Jake. In the magazine was a picture of Taylor Swift walking with his sister and his niece. Give me some Dear John. It's been way too long, Mike. Dear Jake. You know, now she's going with another older guy, guys. She's not the innocent one. Is she one? You claim she is. Top-selling iTunes albums of 2010. Sade, Soldier of Love. Number nine, Jack Johnson, To the Sea. Number eight, The Black Eyed Peas, The End. Number seven, Mumford and Sons. Yeah. Yeah, I like that one. Sigh No More. Number six, Drake, Thank Me Later. Number five, Taylor Swift, Speak Now. That a girl. Number four, Lady Antebellum, Need You Now. Number three, Lady Gaga, The Fame. Yeah. Number two, Kesha, Animal, and the number one selling iTunes album in 2010, Eminem Recovery. Nice. Makes sense. So anyway, that's where it is. That's the best selling stuff right now. 570-1949. This is M1, excuse me, Ryan from Claremont. You there? What's going on?

1:52:05Not much. First of all, love you guys. Thank you. Thank you, man. But, yeah, so you guys were talking about the Christmas present thing. Last year, I work in a bank instead of a grocery store, so my boss came in, and him and I had a pretty good relationship. We're pretty close. So he came in and brought me my favorite bottle of Scotch. I'm a huge Scotch guy. Favorite bottle of Scotch. I was the only person who you brought a present, nothing for him. And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, wow. I don't even know what to do. Everybody's looking at me like, you know, all jealous. Right. And so I ran out of the branch real quick. I called his wife and I was like, hey, what's his favorite kind of beer? So I went and bought him a can of beer. A can of beer. A can of beer. A can of beer. Wow. Genius. Man. Hey, listen. Tough times or drastic times call for drastic measures. That's funny, though. Sure. I would get like a 40 and put it in the brown paper bag and give that to him. That's great. That'd be hilarious. Thanks for the call, dude. Paul McCartney. He likes to be like just.

1:53:08Regular people. So he got on a bus in New York City. Does it regularly. Just gets on a bus. Just takes the bus. Got on a bus. Met some people. And told the story to Jimmy Kimmel. It was either Jimmy Kimmel or one of those late night guys. And he does an imitation of one of the black ladies that he met on the bus. And we're going to play it for you. Also, did you know that the song by the Beatles yesterday was originally called Scrambled Eggs? No. What? Wow. Yeah, and I'll play you that, too. So hang on. So we're going to let you hear Paul McCartney imitating a black lady on a bus in just a moment. What's going on in news, Sienna? We don't get to report it very often, but some good news. First-time applications for unemployment benefits fell last week to the second lowest level this year. Yeah, exciting news. Fell to 421,000, which still seems like a lot, but it's a lot fewer. Yeah. Also, Prince Charles was attacked in his car yesterday with his wife, Camilla. Now, he wasn't hurt. They weren't hurt. But this is pretty crazy. They announced that they're going to be tripling university fees over there in the UK to $14,000 a year as part of the government's plans to reduce Britain's butt.

1:54:51budget deficit. So what happened was Charles and Camilla are driving in their car. Students just started attacking their car, climbing on their car, throwing sticks and bottles, breaking windows, hitting the car with their fists. They threw paint all over the Rolls Royce they were driving in. Oh, wow. I mean, this is just crazy. They were chanting off with their heads. Michael, I was quite scared. Yeah, it sounds like it. I was quite scared. Charles. Yes, yes. Yeah, they threw paint all over the Rolls Royce. They did? They did. That's awful, Camilla. What does Prince Charles think about it? He was not pleased. He wasn't. He was not pleased. He wasn't. And in fact, he's going to reopen the Tower of London. He is. And we're going to behead all of those students. You're going to behead them? Yes. Wow. Off with their heads. Off with their heads. I mean, where's your security, though? People are all over the car. I wouldn't think that you'd be able to get that close to them. I didn't either. The whole thing's creepy. Yeah. Check out our guy, Jared. He does all of our graphic design. You have seen it on our website, and you've also seen it on our billboards, our stickers. He does all that stuff. And he's really good, createyourdesignonline.com. He also did the adoption pamphlet that Woodsy has. He did the website. Logos. Website, logos, all of it. Business cards. Yeah. Which is really good.

1:56:15You've got to check them out, and it's createyourdesignonline.com. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, The Black Keys. Hear it! Brothers is the name of the album. Paul McCartney likes to be like a regular guy, and he tells you all about it. I kind of go anywhere. Yeah, I don't like the idea that you get famous and then it ruins it for you. Yeah. It's kind of a sad idea. So, you know, I mean. Two years ago, I was on a bus in New York here. I happened to have the right change. For once. For once, I had the right change. I needed to get uptown, so I got on the bus. And people are cool, because people sort of just go... They don't let on, you know. Except there was this one lady there, an Afro-American lady, and she's sitting there. And I kind of got on, sat down quietly. She looked around and said, You're Paul McCartney! I love New York City. I love it. So I said, yes, I am. Yes. And you can see all the other people. But they're not letting on. But she says, what are you doing on the bus? Oh, God. I said, I'm going uptown like you are. I said, anybody, stop shouting. Come and sit with me. She came over. She sat down. We chatted. I said, where are you going? I'm going to see my sister. Yeah.

1:57:48He's got on perfectly. He's got on perfectly. But, you know, when you're in that kind of situation, if you do that, it works out. Yeah, it does. People are cool. Isn't that great? That's incredible. You Paul McCartney? You Paul McCartney? I want to eat some of them chitlins. That's right. I want big teeth. Thank you. Don't you think he has security or something that would go with him? No. You think he just goes by himself? Yeah, which is weird. John Lennon was shot and killed in New York. Yeah, that's what I mean. And here's Paul McCartney just wandering around. I think you get to a certain point and you're like, bring it. Whatever. You know, I just want to live my life. So anyway, I said that they originally, the lyrics to yesterday were scrambled eggs. And so here is Paul McCartney and Jimmy Fallon singing it. And like yesterday, I know the original lyrics, because back then you just want to remember the timing of the words. The original lyrics were... Scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs. Oh, my baby, how I love your legs. Yeah. That's how you remembered the song yesterday. Yeah. Have you never performed the original Scrambled eggs? I haven't ever done the original version, no. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind, would you like to perform it tonight? Yes. Scrambled eggs. No, scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs. Three, four. Scrambled eggs.

1:59:34Oh, my baby, how I love your legs. Not as much as I love scrambled eggs. Oh, we should eat some scrambled eggs. Wow. Waffle fries. Oh, my darling, how I love your thighs. Not as much as I love waffle fries. Oh, have you tried the waffle fries? They are so damn good that they should be illegal. Illegal. Like regular fries, but they're shaped like a waffle. That's great. Why don't they make songs like that? I don't know. About food? It's so weird. That's the way that he remembered the song.

2:00:41They didn't have any lyrics for it yet. You know the Aerosmith song, Dude Looks Like a Lady? It was supposed to be called Cruisin' for Some Ladies. Really? And someone said, you know, that doesn't do anything for me. And he was just like, well, what about Dude Looks Like a Lady or something? And they're like, yes, that's it. It's hysterical. It's supposed to be Cruisin' for Some Ladies. It's like Brian Head Welch in here yesterday said that the reason that they called the band Korn was because they figured people would either love it or they'd hate it or they'd remember it. Yeah. And it's true. I mean, dude looks like a lady. You remember. Yeah. Let's see. So let's get your take on this. The worst present that you've ever received. Can you guys think of the worst present, even in the room? Raise your hand if there's one that's like pretty bad. I've got one. What was it? It was in high school. The girl I've been going out with for quite some time. came over for Christmas, and my mom had decided that she would give us both sweat tops, like sweatshirts, and she'd put his and hers on back of the shirts. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Yeah. Oh, wow. She thought that was really cool. Oh, wow. Were you and your sister? No, it was a girlfriend. Oh. One said his, one said hers. Like towels. Wow. Oh, my God. And she made us put them on and take a picture.

2:02:01That's fantastic. On the back? And they were gray. They were hideous. Oh, no. Mine, I still tell my brother Sam, but, you know, he's got to forgive me. He gave me his beeper. Most people don't even know what a beeper is. Beeper only had one number that you could give out for it. And when it beeped, you knew that they wanted you to call them. Right. It was just one person because otherwise you wouldn't know. It wasn't even a pager yet. It was like for doctors or like a husband would have it if his wife was going to have a baby. Exactly. Yeah. And so it was, you know what it was? It was like being at a cheesecake factory. Right. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Your table's ready. Yeah, your table's ready. Yep. Yeah, that's what it was. Which makes a lot of sense for you. Yeah, 14 years old. Now, it didn't work. It had to be activated. Like you had to go activate it. It didn't work. I'm like, what am I, an attorney, you know? Best part is you probably enjoyed carrying it around. I never, I couldn't use it. Oh, I thought you'd clip it on there for posterity's sake. Couldn't. You didn't want to be the only Latino guy without a beeper rolling around, you know?

2:03:03I got a gift card one time, and it was so obvious it was used because it had the person who gave it to me his name on it. Oh, wow. Yeah. I was like, oh, thanks. Yeah, it was to a restaurant. It was for like 50 bucks or something. But I'm like, man, you can't just give a reuse like that. That's so obvious. Sometimes you see the gift cards. They're all scratchy because they've been in somebody's wallet for four years. Oh, my gosh. My dad, M1 Hawk, wrapped up a Christmas present. It was a camera that he owned that I had seen. around the house for years and wrapped it up and put it under the tree. That's awesome. And I think I've heard this story. It was the old rectangular black. You know, when you took the picture, you turned with your finger a little wheel. There was actually a thing on the bottom that you, on the very bottom, you went like that. Yeah. And you reset it and it took the... The film that was kind of a long horseshoe. Yeah. And you clip it in the back and shut it. Yep. But I'd seen this camera in this brown pleather case for, I don't know, eight years. And I opened it and was like, oh, that's your camera. That's the camera. You never said anything to him about it? I wanted you to have it, son. He's probably listening right now. And he's like, that little SOB. Oh, wow.

2:04:21Mr. Woods, how could you do that? Thank you. How could you do that? M1 Hawk, call us. Oh, God. Oh, God. This is going to hurt. This is going to hurt. Call us and tell us, how do you give your kid an eight-year-old camera? This is going to hurt. He's probably like, this really hurt my feelings. It's like a little kid at Christmas. I will defend you, Woods. You will. Okay. I'll tell you why. It should not hurt his feelings. He gave you an old camera. And I have a theory as to why. And my parents got real freaked out if there wasn't a lot of gifts under the tree. And the older you get, you want better gifts and not the quantity. When you're younger, it's quantity. I want a ton. I don't care what it is. The older you get, you're like, I'd rather have that leather jacket if it means that I don't have to get five other little turd presents. I want one big one, two big ones. There wasn't a lot under the tree, and I think it skeeved him out until he was like, oh, God, they're going to think I'm cheap. Well. Yes. But isn't your dad sort of, you know, frugal? Well, he's pretty good at Christmas. Pretty good at Christmas. I can't really complain. But, dude, when I opened that thing, I was like, that's the camera from upstairs in your drawer. Oh, wow. I can't believe you didn't say anything. No. But my brother looked at me and almost peed his pants. I was like, he's dying laughing. Oh, my God. 570-1949. Oh, God, he's not listening.

2:05:43You know he is. It's going to take a while for it to hit him on the internet in Texas. Don't be upset, Mr. Woods. Yeah, don't be upset. We love you. Thank you so much for the Mikey Show M&Ms. Yes, the Mikey Show M&Ms. Absolutely. One of these days, Luke or Ryan are going to be calling in and going, hey, Dad, why don't you tell everybody about what you got me. It's going to be awesome, dude. It's going to be awesome. 570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call. So, yeah, it's the worst stuff that you've got. I also got one time a VHS videotape of Sergeant Slaughter. He was a professional wrestler in what was then the WWF. And it was Sergeant Slaughter running over cars with monster trucks. I had no interest in either wrestling, Sergeant Slaughter, or... Monster trucks. None at all. And coincidentally enough, same brother gave me that one. Garage sale VHS tape. I just remembered another one that my brother and I got for Christmas. It was from my dad's brother, Uncle Jack. Uncle Jack's father-in-law. Follow with me. Owned a radio station in Traverse City, Michigan. Okay.

2:07:08You know in the cafeteria when Garrett gets rid of all the CDs or if somebody gets rid of all the CDs? You get singles throughout the year and CDs that you never play. So they'll throw them in the cafeteria here and say, hey, free, help yourself. Yeah, but you've got to understand, they're not good. No. A lot of them you've never heard of. Never heard of. 95%. You might find one gem out of. 200 cds you might go oh there's that single of you know this guy that i like we get this box one year my brother and i and we one for him and one for me i open it up and immediately i was like oh my god look at all this music i was like oh my god this is the greatest thing ever turds yeah and i mean turds let me tell you what i did what took it to a record store i got about $300 store credit for... They're like, yeah, we'll take this one. I was sitting there going... I was with my buddy. My best friend Kevin was with me, and he's like, it's not going to work. It's not going to work. It worked. I had $300 credit for all those free CDs. Really? It was insane. So it turned out that was a great... It turned out it was a dynamite present. Wow. But when you open it, you start thumbing through it, you're like, Pavarotti, what do I want this for? You're like...

2:08:28Like the Thorn Birds? What's that? M1 Lori from San Diego. Oh, hi there. Hi. Hey, I think that your dad was doing something really sweet. You do? Yeah, I do. I mean, because it's a camera and it's probably like more expensive than some other gifts you get. It was probably $9, Lori. Seriously, this camera was gangster. Come on. Have you ever done something like this? Lori. No, no, no, no. Now I'm going to go on another tact, okay? Okay. New hobby. Getting my son into a cool hobby, clearly something we do as a parent, neat hobby. He never really cared about photography, nor did I.

2:09:06Nor did I. And you're not really going to take, you know, you're not going to become a photographer with those Kodak, you know, wheels. Right, right, right. It was those old square rectangular Kodaks. Had the flash, you know. Yeah, real hard flash. The cube was snapping the top. I hope he calls in. I really do. I want to know. M1 Dollface is calling from San Diego. Are you there, Dollface? I am, yes. What happened with you? One year, my dad went to the library and checked out some music CDs and burned copies for us for Christmas. Oh, man. And that'll do it. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's it. Nothing will beat that. Nothing will beat that. Wow. Oh, my gosh. Went to the library, rented music from the library. I didn't even know you could do that. Burned it and gave it to his daughter. Speechless. That's fantastic. it worse because one of the CDs was the CNC Music Factory. Oh, wow. Wow. Dad, you know us. Wow. No, that's Marky Mark. What's CNC Music Factory? Yeah, what was... What did they sing? They had one song that was popular that I didn't even like. It's gonna make you sweat or something. Right, right, right. It's driving me nuts. Yeah, yeah.

2:10:25Sienna, do you remember CNC Music Factory? Come on. No? My husband guaranteed that. Guaranteed. He's screaming at the radio right now. He's bumping it in the Supra right now. I played it yesterday. Yeah. Thank you for the call. M1 Vince from PB. Yeah. Are you there? That was gold. Yeah, I'm here. What did your grandma send you? She had me send a bunch of my old toys to cousins in the Philippines for Christmas. My grandma came to visit. over there. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, man. Getting a gift back. That's like an old school with Will Ferrell giving the bread maker. Oh, my gosh. You have the same model? Actually, that's the exact gift I gave you. It was the same one that I... Yeah, she pulled that. She's like, same model? Do you have the same model? No, that's the one I sent. That's the actual one I sent. That's bad. Thank you very much. M1.

2:11:38Corey from San Diego. Hi, guys. Hi. My family, we have like a big thing where we try and disguise our gifts and no one can like guess what they are. Yeah. So one year, my grandma, she gave me a box and on the outside of the box, it said cotton ball holder, like something to put cotton balls in. And I was like, oh, grandma, all my dreams, all I ever wanted was a cotton ball holder. Right. And I opened it up and it actually was a cotton ball holder. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. So you're thinking it's a joke. And so you're carrying on like, oh, my gosh, Grandma. What did she do? I don't think she understood that I would be sarcastic. She kind of gave me this look and she was just like, oh. And I was like, oh, thank God. Yeah, you thought a diamond pendant was going to be in there. You were sure a diamond pendant would. Because the last thing it would be is a cotton ball holder. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's pretty bad. Everyone's got to have a cotton ball holder. 100%. We got new movies coming out this weekend. And call us now for Movie Plot Hot Potato. Yeah. Well played. It's going to be a good one. Let's do it. That's a good one. It's the greatest scene in The Wrestler, by the way. When this comes on, they've already singing it. That's right. That's a good one. Round and round. All right. Hey, thank you. Let's hear it for Divine Possibilities. Woo-hoo-hoo!

2:13:53Holy cow, are those sandwiches good, man. They take spaghetti and meatballs, all kinds of pasta stuff, put it inside of fresh-baked bread, and you have a sandwich of delicious pasta. It's crazy. It's hollowed out. It's filled full, so it's not even messy. I might have taken a meatball sandwich, and I might have taken another meatball sandwich and might have hid it in Mikey's office. That's fantastic. To take home and eat. In bed. You can see why they were voted best sandwich in San Diego for four years in a row. Without question. They're so good, man. Home of the pasta stuffed sandwich. It's in Point Loma on Midway, and it's good if you want to check them out online. Torpasta.com is the way that you get a hold of them. Okay, so want to let you know that the Mikey-thon is going to happen in six days. It is going to be a 28-hour live broadcast where we broadcast nonstop, no music, no commercials, no nothing. Just us raising money for Rady Children's Hospital, their ADI, their Autism Discovery Institute.

2:15:06Let me tell you, we want to raise a lot of money for him this year. We have so many surprises planned. The movies, if you want to get a hold of the movies now, we're going to watch movies between 10 and 2. What are we starting with? 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. We will start with Dirty Dancing. Nice. And the second movie we watch will be Waterworld. Yep. It's going to be fun. It's going to be great. It's going to be incredible. And so, you know, get ready for it. Go get those movies. They will sell out and rent out. So get them while you can get them. And we'll have you start the movie at the same time. We start the movie, watch it, and we'll just make fun of the movie when you listen to it. Speaking of movies, new movies that are out today.

2:15:56Woodsy's got him. Yeah, I got him. Sienna's pumping it up real good. So I've got... The Chronicles of Narnia. Yeah! The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. It's the new installment of the Narnia films. Yeah. There is the source of your troubles. Enemies will unite. Why is it that whenever there's another world, everyone's from Britain? I know. They all have British accents. People in space. Yep. People in other worlds. Under the earth. Under the earth. They're all from Britain. That's right. Good morning. Even if it's Harry Potter. Yes, of course. They're British. Why? They're the nerdiest people. They're not either. Aren't they? Brits? Brits. The nerdiest accent, perhaps? I think they sound cool. It's a nerdy accent with the English language. I see. Seeks to corrupt all goodness. To steal the light from this world. The only power to stop them. That sword you carry, it must be laid at Aslan's table. I wonder if sci-fi movies in Britain have American accents. Woods hates that stuff. You just hate it, dude. It's so, it just, it zaps all the energy from my body. Yeah. Lay that sword on the table. Get out of here. God. What else? Ah, The Tourist with Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp.

2:17:24It's not really grabbing me. Yeah, it looks very underwhelming. Here's a clip. Why is all this happening? Wow. What is happening? Do you ever just forget to open your mouth when you talk? You don't worry about him. You ever just beat Jack Sparrow no matter what you do? You don't worry about him. Why is everyone trying to kill me? Because of the way you talk. It's because I kissed you. Yep. 100% in on that, right? Yep. There it is. Yeah, it's called The Tourist It Opens Today. Is that it? Yep. What the fighter? Oh, it wasn't on my sheet. I don't do the news. Seattle must have been unprepared. The fighter with Mark Wahlberg, which looks amazing. Mark Wahlberg and Amy Adams. What's the problem? Problems. What problems? Problems. Like what? Like maybe you not showing up on time to train. Like maybe him having to come find you in a crack house.

2:18:28When you're supposed to be at the airport. I'm sorry. I don't know who you are. Why are you talking? I'm Charlene. We just met. Oh, boy. Sounds like a high school play. No, it's going to be good, dude, because Christian Bale is in it. He plays a crackhead and there you go. A fighter and, you know, Wahlberg. It's in Boston. It's going to be good. Trust me. All right. I will take your word for it. Hot potato. Movie plot hot potato. Let's do it. The way that it works is that you're going to pick Woods or Jay. Now, they're going to be tossing a hot potato back and forth between each other. The way that they get to get rid of the hot potato is if I'm able to get the movie that they're trying to tell me the plot of. We got 60 seconds. Last person with the potato in their hand is the loser. Takes a BB. That's right, and they got to take a BB. So when you call me right now. You're going to be choosing Woods or Jay. M1, Winder from Carlsbad. Yeah. What's up? How's it going? Good. Who are you taking? I'll take Woods. That's not a surprise. That is not a surprise. Hang on the line, please. Don't cry, dude. M1, Ziggy from Lemon Grove. Who would you like? You got it. Like there's a choice at that point.

2:19:53Well, it's diplomatic. It's diplomatic. Makes everybody feel good. All right, so we'll have 60 seconds, and here we go. Johnny Depp said he was a cocaine dealer. Blow. Sean Penn, Spicoli. It's our time. The house time's at Ridgemont High. Okay. Johnny Depp was also in this, and he was on a boat in the water. Pirates of the Caribbean. Yep. Carol Ann, come out of that thing. Poltergeist. Okay. Nerds loved it. Blue alien. Oh, Avatar. Yep. Adrian. Rocky. Wendy, I'm home. The Shining. We're in search of. It's Eric Idle. It's English humor. They're looking for... Monty Python? Yeah, but there's more there. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. That'll work. Nerds love this as well. Back in the 70s, George Lucas, Han Solo. Star Wars. John Belushi. It's a frat house. Animal House. What's in the box? No! Seven. Sigourney Weaver. Alien. Michael Madsen shoots the guy and he's dancing around him in the chair. Reservoir Dogs. Sissy Spacek, they're at her prom and she gets the dope. Yes! Yes!

2:21:05Yes, yes, yes. And I knew it. I was about to say Gary. I was about to say Gary. Wow. I got to get him today. Woods, just one. Winder, you're a winner. Yeah, Brady's here too. All right, hang on. I missed him last week. All right, so Jay's got to take a bullet. Here we go. Woods, he is pointing. Don't do this at home, kids. This is only for professionals. Oh, wow. Oh, that got the sweet spot. Oh, yeah. That got the sweet spot. Didn't miss today, did I? Oh, wow. Woods, right. Oh, I was taking aim. Right in the kisser. Yep. Yeah. You're starting to figure that BB gun out. I got it now. You pretty much have figured out how to do that. I got it good. I got a little tear in the corner of my eye. He got me last week real good. Let's see.

2:22:07How about if we do some of this? But it's just you and I, Mike. That's right. We'll be fine. Old time radio is where we look back into the past of radio and hear actual recordings of radio from the 1920s and 30s. What's the matter, darling? Of course, Jay picked an adult film. Radio pornography. Radio porno. Porn from the 60s. Phil, I've made a terrible discovery. Five times. Oh, good heavens. I thought you're heading in. What happened to good heavens? Oh, what happened to darling? What happened to darling? What happened to darling? Hello, darling. When's the last time a husband called a wife darling? Hello, darling. Why don't we bring it back? I'm in. We go home today and go darling. Darling. You guys just say it to each other all the time. Darling. Hello, darling. Hello, darling. Hello, darling. Bill, isn't the bank ever wrong? Never. People who work in banks run by... They made women.

2:23:16sound like such dopes. No matter what, women had to be like, hello, how are you today? This guy Phil sounds like he's, here's Phil. Nope, never. Nope, the AT&T Go phone with unlimited nationwide talk and text. You can't win. It's not enough. Not what? Money. Why, two weeks ago we had what I should have described as rude funny. What's happened to it? I haven't spent a cent of it. It's like the first hypnotism ever and the guy's asleep. Honestly, Bill, the bag takes it or something. You've made a mistake. You'll find it. Good luck, honey. I'm going back to my newspaper. He's about as good an actor as I am. Just terrible. By newspaper, I mean pornography. And opium pipes. In this house, we run things as a partnership, don't we?

2:24:08No, it's 1954. You do as I tell you. Yes. If by partnership you mean that I pay the bills and do everything, then yes, it's a complete partnership. If by partnership you mean you have no say in this family, then yes, it's absolutely a partnership. Things? I do certain things. I paint furniture, talk on the telephone. You smoke marijuana and drink all day. Answer all letters from your family and plant flower seeds, right? Right. And you fix the fire, take care of the car, and get any... Take dumps three times a day, eat everything, don't share a thing. Anything I happen to want after I've turned out the light and opened the window. Right. From now on, you also do the bills. I think so. There are certain... The bills. The bills this month were $4.55. Can you believe that? Stop leaving the damn water on. Yes, quit running the water. All day long. All day long. It was $4.55 this month. One of them. I'll do anything else you want. Anything? Did you say anything? Darling, you did say anything, didn't you? Even churn and vote intelligently, like you. But I will not. I will not do the checkbook anymore. Get away, I'll do it. Get away! Sounds like my dad. Get out on the roof and mend that shingle that blew off last January.

2:25:33Yeah, I tried to pee standing up. Why don't you do one of those? Some women could even do that. Some women can. Oh, that reminds me. I have a theory. Now I know why kids played so much outside back in these days. That's right. Because their parents are like, well, if you stay inside, you've got to listen to Bill and Jane balance their checkbook on the radio. Who do you think is coming to visit the Morgan? Santa Claus? The Star? Molly Willie? Who? And let's not guess. Pandora Peters. Oh, really? But aren't you excited? Porn star. Yeah, Pandora Peters. Dynamite work. The Morgans are bringing her here for lunch on Sunday. Really? Pandora Peters, you say? Fine work. I've seen her films. In the stag houses. You never told me. You never asked me. You know Winston Churchill. No. J does. Used to have sleepovers.

2:26:30Jay used to babysit him. No. Mary Martin? No. Well, don't say I never ask you. Kurt Cobain? Yeah. Courtney Love. Hey, Pagoda. Where did you meet Pat Peters? Five or six years ago. Oh. I slayed her one night after too many rides. Too many rides? For your new meet. Yep. Long before you did. Did you, uh... Yes, I did. Four times. Yes, in the same night. Did you see much of her? You could say that. If by much of her, you mean all of her, yes. Listen, I find that I can't add either. But did you? You mean did I fall for her? No, I did not. Like I said, I just slept with her. I didn't fall for her. What is he doing? The checkbook. Fine. Congratulations, George. Hope will be very happy. But Hope doesn't want him to. He's like, will you please shut your mouth? I'm trying to balance a checkbook, and right now I'm at $7.45. I've been doing it for an hour and a half. She's standing behind me going, blah, blah, blah. Because you see, Bill, he's very domestic, and Hope says Pan isn't a bit home. Now I've got to start again. 68, 69, 70. Will you stop talking?

2:27:57Please. Listen to her just babbling in the background. Be still, woman. Be still. Your mind is going. Go away and let me out in peace. Please. Oh, my gosh. Shut up. That's what Jay's washing machine still sounds like when it starts. What there's left of me, yeah. Did you get the garden furniture washed? They'll all be here in just a few minutes. I want everything to look absolutely lush. What do you want me to do now? Build a wing on the house? It's just time before lunch. I never saw anyone so feeble. And put some clothes on. Mikey. You're about to make me sick. The days of old time right now, ladies and gentlemen. Come back just in time. The milkers like the milk. Seven foods that will actually speed along weight loss. Mikey.

2:29:12Meatball sandwiches. They're so good, though. Big Macs three times a week. Make some noise in the studio on a live studio audience Friday. Now, I wish I had the song so that we could play it so that people would know what we're talking about. You have it. I don't think I do. I probably do. I don't have it. Hold on. There's nothing wrong with it. Oh, you mean this song? No, no, no. You can't play it from there because it won't come up on my board. What if I did this? It won't. That's not good. It doesn't work for you. It doesn't work. Just buy it, Mike. You know you like it anyway. Just buy it. It's 99 cents. What we're talking about is that my wife wrote me. And she says that at my son's school.

2:30:14The girls were singing this song. Four-year-old song. Four-year-olds. Yeah. What girls? The girls that work there? No, the girls in his class. Okay, the other girls. Yeah, the girl. Well, he's not a girl. I wasn't saying that. Jake's a little boy. I know. Yeah. The other little girls in the class. I see what you mean. The little girls in the class. Yeah. Not the teachers. Not the teachers. Feast. The little girls were taught a routine. They were taught California Girls by Katy Perry. And they were performing it. What? It's a popular song. And Rebecca said that it was a little uncomfortable that these four-year-olds were singing We're So Hot, We'll Melt Your Popsicle. Right. And I said, yeah, I guess I can kind of see how that's a little suggestive for a four-year-old to be like... We're so hot, we'll mark your popsicle. It's lighthearted. Sienna says, Sienna says off the air, she goes, it's not even what Katy Perry probably means. It's not. And me and Woods are like, she's talking about a dong. She's talking about your wiener. Yeah. I don't think she is. I think she's just like, we're so hot, we'll mark your popsicle. Yeah, you're literal popsicle. Like, it's hot, we're hot.

2:31:33That she's talking about an actual popsicle. I mean, it's stupid lyrics. I don't, never did I think that she meant dong. Wiener. Yeah, popsicle is code for wiener. Well, now that you say that, I realize, but I don't think that's what she meant. If she said, lick your popsicle, then. Then you would think so? Not even then. She would say. What if she said, you know... Lick your popsicle. I just think that's ridiculous. What if she said something about your hot dog? Would you go... I would just think they were hungry. I think they mean, like, Oscar Mayer hot dogs. No, popsicle is something that can melt. Hot dogs cannot melt. And they melt from the heat. And the wiener doesn't melt, Mike. What if Katy Perry's saying, I want to eat your hot dog? Would you be like, I think she's looking for mustard. She says...

2:32:31Then she would have to be like, I'm so hungry. I want to eat your hot dog. If she said, I'm so hungry, I want to feast on your hot dog. Would you be like, I think she means a hot dog. She's at a ball game. What if she's at the Padre game? That one, it sounds different. So hot will melt. Well, it says, we'll melt your popsicle, not I'll. Meaning we, as California girls, are so hot, we'll melt your wiener. If she said, I'll suck your popsicle or something like that. Okay, that's a little deep. We're so hot. We'll melt your popsicle. I don't think. I don't think she meant it like that. Kind of creepy for a four-year-old. Yeah. And how come in the video his actual wiener gets melted? I don't know. I didn't think that deeply about it. I just don't think it's that big of a video. When I was a little kid, I was a big Kiss fan. And there was a song called Meet You in the Ladies Room. And I was four. And I was running around singing Meet You in the Ladies Room. And my mother was like. Well, that's it for him. And look what happened, man. No. Okay, these four-year-olds. What if he had to pee and there was a line at the men's room? I'll see you in the ladies' room. I'll see you in the ladies' room. Okay, when you... These are four-year-olds. These are little kids. They sing the songs. I know sometimes it can be alarming. If they're directly saying sex or something like that, then it would bother me. Do you want your kid going...

2:33:51I'll see you at the corner with a bottle of Jack. I told you that Jenna sings that song and she's nine and it bothers me. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. I told her, look, you know, that's what that is. It's so stupid. You can't be doing that. And she's like, I know, I know. I'm telling you, you're going to, this is what's going to happen. Little kids are going to want to put on lingerie and do the like booty dance. What is that called? The booty dance? But then as parents, you say, no. Yeah, you go. No. And they go, why? We listen to it. It's great. We do it at school. We do it at school. They don't do it at school. They do it. They're doing it at school. They're doing it at school. They're singing. You're melting my popsicle. Oh my gosh. I don't want to hear little girls singing about how hot they are. Okay. When I was in fourth grade. Oh, she's on the line. Yeah, we got Rebecca. Okay. What's up, babe? Uh-oh. Don't yell at me. You're screaming, babe. You're screaming. Rebecca, you're screaming. I'm so sorry. You're yelling at the top of your line. It's different when she's on the line. I just wanted to tell her in that song, there is a part where it says the word sex. It says sex on the beach. Oh, you're right. But that's a drink, Rebecca. It's not a big deal. It's a drink already. Gosh. You guys haven't had that drink? Yeah. No, when it does say sex and stuff like that, that kids can figure out.

2:35:08That bothers me. Let's bone on the beach. It's unforgettable. When I was in fourth grade, I did a performance at my friend. She had a birthday party where we all put on performances. And I did Green Day. Do you have the time? And I threw a fit because my mom made me change the words to stoned. It says stoned in there. And my mom made me change it to something else. Boned. But she said made me. I don't know. It was something else. But I was like, why can't it be stoned? Stoned is just when you're like a statue. When you're little, you don't realize and you don't want to explain it to them because their minds are so innocent. You know, just let them have fun. There was a little bit of like, you know, toddlers and tiaras going on for me. You know, where it's like, even though they don't really understand, it's just kind of creepy. Yes. We're so hot. Listen, that's my deal is. If you got a jillion choices. Yeah. If you got a jillion choices, pick another one. So what, like Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star? Yes. Brilliant. An old standard. We are now to the point where we think of four-year-olds and we're like, what are we going to have them sing?

2:36:17Twinkle, twinkle, little star. That seems appropriate. I know. I know. We're like, let's have some fun and sing about our bottles of jazz. No, I agree with you guys. I'm just saying they're young. They don't know. And if you point it out and stuff like that. Here's the other thing. You know, Jake, see, I just found out about it. But Jake heard you guys play a little bit of that song earlier when you guys were talking about most don't. the most downloaded songs of the year or something. Right. Yeah. And he was like, that's the song that, you know, Taya was dancing to at the recital. He's like, yeah, mommy, she's hot and I want her to melt my popsicle. Stop it. He doesn't know. And so once I, you know, figured everything out, he was saying, I want to hear that song. I want to hear that song. Can you rewind it so I can hear the song? So, you know, he liked. a performance and now he wants to hear the song and I'm kind of in this weird like, do I let him hear the song? It's, you know, I don't want him going around singing it. Hey babe, how about this one? So Rebecca and I were, we took Jake to some class or whatever and we got there early and so Rebecca went in to see if it was okay if they would take Jake early and her and I were going to go get something to eat. So I'm sitting in the car with Jake, right?

2:37:43and Jake says something to me, and Rebecca comes back, and she goes, yeah, they'll take him. So she takes Jake inside. She gets back in the car with me. We start driving. I go, babe, do you know what Jake just said? She goes, what? I go, he said, and I quote, I'm sorry, Daddy. I just wanted you to think I was cool. And I go, when he said it, I go, what, bubs? And he goes, he didn't say anything. He just was quiet. And I go, did you say, I'm sorry, Daddy, I just wanted you to think I was cool? And he goes, yeah. And I said, what is that from? And he didn't, you know, he didn't know, blah, blah, blah. It turns out, I think, right, babe? It's from Yo Gabba Gabba. It's from Yo Gabba Gabba. There's an episode lying, and one of the characters lies about something, and everybody's like,

2:38:38Why did you lie? And she's like, I'm sorry. I just wanted you guys to think I was cool. Now, what tripped me out is out of context, it trips you out. Yes. Like when your kid just says something out of context, you're like, I broke my heart at first. I was like, oh my gosh, Jake, you don't have to prove that you're cool to me. I think you're cool. I think you're cool. You know, I mean, I had no idea. He's at like speech and he tells his therapist. Yeah. I'm so hot, I'll melt your popsicle. Oh, boy. Yeah. Something like that. What if he says, you know, my, listen, he says, I want to go with my daddy to get a bottle of Jack. Oh, my God. She'd be like, holy crap. He's not going to say that. Mikey's drinking again. Mikey's drinking again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He says, what if he says to his teacher, he's like, sometimes I just want to put you on this bed and light this house on fire. Oh, my God. The M&M. Eminem. Love the way you lie. Yeah. I mean, imagine if kids were to read, like, say the lyrics of songs. You'd freak out. Holy cow. Do you need me to make him a mix CD? I'll make him some good tunes. Yeah. Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley Crue. I just think, like, your job is to keep them to have the purest little mind. And they don't know what that is. And sometimes they just sing along with the songs. I don't think they would ever grab a phrase of a song and incorporate it into, like, a random sentence. I'm telling you, Sienna, he just randomly said.

2:40:01I'm sorry, Daddy. I just wanted you to think I was cool. And I thought, when I tell Rebecca that he said that, Rebecca's going to go, no, he didn't. Like, that's the craziest thing in the world. Why would he say that? Well, it turns out it was from Yo Gabba Gabba. Yeah, but kids say, that makes more sense than, oh, my dad took me to go get a bottle of Jack. No, you're right. Hanging with my dad in a bottle of Jack. But what if he did say, like... Read the lyrics to Love the Way You Lie. Right. Which is the greatest. I mean, it's a really great song. It sounds awesome. Little Jakey walking around the house. I can't tell you what it feels like. Oh, no. That was my favorite song the whole time I was pregnant. And I kept thinking to myself, what an awful mother am I. I have this on my baby. Jake's like, it's like a steel pipe in my windpipe. I know. And that's a censored version. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Can you imagine? I know. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Like, F this, F that. Yeah. You're a B. F and B. I know. Oh, my gosh. I know. You just have to teach them, you know, because they're going to hear it. For sure. M1 Dave from San Diego. Are you there, Dave? Hey, Steve. What's going on? I'll just call real quick. I'm about to lose you guys. I'm up on the Soledad right now. But, yeah, I got a three-year-old. These things tooted and booted. Tooted and booted. What is that? What is that?

2:41:23Who? He sings Tooted and Booted. What is it? Who is that? Oh, it's a group. Who is this guy again? Hold on. Google it, Mike. Yeah, I'll find it. Tooted and Booted. Is it what I think it is? What's that? Like, no. Like, Tooted and Booted. No? Not that? Yeah, Tooted and Booted. Oh, like. Oh, my God. Tooted as in getting it on and booted as in kicking him out afterwards. They got a video on YouTube that shows a girl singing Tudy and Buddha with her mom driving down the road. How are you spelling that? T-O-O-T-E-D? Yeah. T-O-O-T-E-D. Mike's looking in iTunes. He can find it there, right? Right. It's not there. Go to YouTube or something. It's kind of like hit it and quit it, right? That's what that means. Yeah, there you go. Why don't they just call it, hit it, and quit it? Hey, you guys got a cool show. I'm going to lose you guys. Hey, thanks, man. You don't know who sings it, do you? I'm looking it up right now. You guys will find it. Just go. YG? YG. That's it. All right, cool. That's who sings it. Spell it. YG. See you later, Captain. Yig. Mikey, Yig. It's Yig. Yig.

2:42:38He's great. If you haven't heard Yig, he's phenomenal. Hopefully there's no... That killed me. I don't know why. I may have to hit the button. Okay, all right, all right. Let's see. Is there a sense? Yeah, mother... Hey, hey, hey. Scared him. Well, I couldn't hear what was playing. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Oh my gosh. A three-year-old singing. What? He's got a stick and it does magic. He's a magician. I got one of those. But as a kid, that's what you think. Like a magician, you know? Oh my gosh. It's a magic stick. Three-year-olds are going around singing. Toot it and boot it. Oh, my God. All right, maybe I take that back. That terrifies me. It's terrifying. I'm terrified now. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Woods, what is the scene that you see for this? I know yours. You've told me before. And that's all I think now. Okay, then I'll tell yours. Go ahead. No, no, no. Okay. A son is returning to New York. And his father has just passed away.

2:44:01And he's in his father's apartment, and he's cleaning all the old stuff, and all the old memories are there, and pictures from when they were young. Totally different visions. Sienna, what do you see for this scene? A man camping, sitting at a picnic. Wow, what has water coming out of his nose? It gets better. Sitting at a picnic, Ben. Spreading tuna on crackers. Oh, my God. What is going on with you? Spreading tuna on crackers. Makes no sense. It's virtually identical to the other one that we thought. Wow. What do you got? It's just a vision. It can't be wrong. It's true. All right, I got another one for you. It's the very end of the movie. Guy has been able to summit. a rock climb that he's never been able to summit before. He gets to the very top. It's the very end of the movie. And that's where he leaves his wife's ashes. Wow. I had the same angle. Yeah, he had the same exact... I wrote that down. That was the same movie that he was going to say. We are playing this song live on the Mikey-thon in the middle of the night. How about that? Literally the middle of the night. That's right. We do stuff that's very, very...

2:45:49unorthodox in the middle of the night. Hence, letting me play a set. Hey, I do some weird stuff in the middle of the night that I can only do at 3 o'clock in the morning on Mikey-thon. Yeah, Mikey's favorite curses. No? Don't do that? Crickets? You don't do your favorite curse words? No. Oh, okay. No, I don't. People would tune in. I'm just telling you. I'm just telling you. Oh, my gosh. Tune in and boot in. It'd be like darn. I just want to let everybody know tomorrow morning at 3 a.m. I'll be doing my favorite curse word. Make sure you tune in for that. It should be a lot of fun. Oh, my gosh. I'd go into a cocoon. Ridiculous sometimes. I know. It's fun, though. 570-1949 is our number. And at the end of the show, we let you call in about whatever you'd like. So give us a call right now. Let's see. M1 Mac from Point Loma. What's up? How are you doing? Good. I just wanted to let you know about an event that's going on in high school. They do an annual hot garrison street down in Point Loma. Nice. I like cocoa. They've been doing all the profits that they get. It goes to a nonprofit organization. They've broken $1,000 in the past few years. That's great. And this year they're donating it to Children's Hospital. That's awesome, dude. Awesome.

2:47:17throw that out for anyone who's not going to the holiday hootenanny that uh swing by garrison street about dollar hot chocolate and just maybe pick up 10 of them yeah that's pretty cool dude thanks for calling yeah you're welcome thanks guys thanks man uh this is m1 chris from oceanside what's up what's up you guys not too much hey i didn't tell you about uh doing the show on my birthday. I love it. The Mikey-thon. You got it. We did it just for you, buddy. It's only for you, my friend. I felt that. Speaking of which, you know, that psychic ability I have is something. What's that? Little touch of something. L-O-B. You know, she's out. I'm kind of getting a feeling that what would the Mikey-thon be without Mikey? Don't even say it. Don't even say it. So I think, Mikey, you need to take Monday off, rest up, and let Garrett... Garrett. Garrett. What about us? I am. Yeah. Hey, listen. I had so much planned. I was going to put him under the hot seat. I was going to call him like three times every hour. What would you guys think? Oh, come on. Let him just do it. What would you guys think of you guys coming in on Monday and letting Garrett sit in for me on Monday? I would do it. Come on, audience. I would do it. Would you do it? Yeah, I'd do it. Get Garrett on the phone, Jay. Wait, so you would just rest on Monday? Yeah.

2:48:36No. Why? I would do it. Garrett. I would do it. On the phone. Fine. Might be fun. Maybe. How about Wednesday? Not Monday. My Wednesday. The day before. We should all have a break on Wednesday. Garrett. Garrett. You ever think of posting your resume on the website? There you go. Chris, you're rad. I got all kinds of stuff written down. Oh, I had something that was going to. Bring the house down. Well, you know, I kind of... Thank you, Chris. I appreciate it. I kind of feel bad because Garrett... He was looking forward to it. Well, he was looking forward to it, but he also came in here and spent time. Come on in, man. Here he is. Grab a mic, Garrett. Did I leave my headphones in here? Yes, you did. I've been looking for them all week. The ones that are scotch taped together? It's electrical tape. Oh, okay.

2:49:34Well, Garrett, you spent time actually learning how to do this. Oh, Garrett spilled that man out. Garrett! What? Excuse me? Yeah. Freaking Garrett. Coming in here messing stuff up. Way to go, Garrett. Garrett! So, Garrett. Garrett. Garrett, would you be up for that? Oh, there they are. What, Monday? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Do you think it's a bad idea or do you think it's okay? I want you to tell the truth and be on it. I think the ratings will go down. That might be a bad idea. Do you? I think it might be like Chris is saying. I think it might be kind of interesting. And I can call in and I can be a part of it. I don't know. I mean, I don't have to. You can critique me as we go. Yeah. How fun would that be? We should have just had him sitting in for Lauren then. Yeah. Why didn't we have him sitting in for LLB the last three days? I know. Nobody called me. Garrett. And Chris just had this idea right now. Yeah. It makes sense. Maybe Wednesday. The day before. I think Wednesday would be better. The day before. And maybe, yeah. Why? Just because. Rest, prepare. Dude, here's the deal. The Mikey-thon, we're here, but we're just extensions of you, man. It's going to be more trying and more taxing on you. You are such a suck-up. I know. And I'll be honest with you. If I was really going to do it, it would make more sense Monday for me. And the reason why is because.

2:51:01I don't want to throw my schedule off the day before. Got it. That makes sense. The day before I do it. Plus he's going to rock out on Saturday night. He's going to need the rest. He will need the rest. That's right. I don't know. I wonder if listeners are cool with that. Well, we have probably like a meeting on Monday and stuff. But I think you should come. But I think maybe we let Garrett do it for like two hours. You can play on your iPhone. Which is what you like to do anyway. When we're all hanging out. We can talk about this off the air. We can do testimony right now. Yeah, we have to. Garrett! Sorry. That's it. I wouldn't get you. That's the promo. I wouldn't get you. That's the promo for Monday. Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! Okay, at the end of the show, on Fridays, I give you my testimony, my story, and I tell you about where I've been and what happened in my life. Hopefully with a purpose that you hear it and you hear something in it that you can relate to, remind you of you. Have you ever been in a place in your life where you felt completely desperate? Have you ever been in a place in your life where even though you had people all around you, you felt completely alone? That was me. I felt that way even when I was a little kid. I felt like I was completely alone.

2:52:45I used to be entirely insecure, completely insecure, totally insecure. No self-esteem, very little self-worth. Any attention to me was good attention. I wasn't much of a rule breaker, but I was a people pleaser. In fact, when I think back of the sexual abuse in my life when I was five years old, that's probably what it was about. I probably wouldn't have a... gone into a place that I shouldn't have or gone into a place that would put me in jeopardy had I not so desperately inside needed someone to need me or love me. And I felt that way my whole life. Do you have things in your life that you are desperately ashamed of? Do you have things in your life that bring you great shame that you've never told anybody? Anger is hurt, sadness, and fear.

2:54:11Being very angry. In my 20s, I was abusing alcohol, cocaine, methamphetamine. To this day, I don't like to be alone a lot. Maybe the reason that I don't like to be alone is because it brings back so many memories of how isolated I used to be. Closing the drapes and all that stuff, closing drapes and turning phones off and not calling people back. My dad would leave me messages. And I wouldn't even call back. I wouldn't call back because I knew that I was going to be drunk. I couldn't call back. I remember my brother, Steve, one night we went out and we drank and we drank so much that we drank so much that he thought he told me the next day, he said, you know, you weren't acting drunk, but I saw what you drank. And that's what scared me. I remember almost every member of my family crying.

2:55:54over where I used to be. And to a person in my family, I guarantee you that they saw God work because of the changes that happened with me. I'm just 100% a different human being. I had a lot of stuff that I needed God to forgive me for. And he did. Nasty stuff. Really gross, disgusting, awful things. Awful things. things that are against the law, things that would make you sick. God forgave me for all of it. And I'm telling you, it happened in 2003. Jesus Christ entered my life. If you had seen me back in those days and see me now and the different person that I am, there wouldn't be any question for you. If you are going through any of the stuff that I've described, if you're having an issue with depression,

2:57:25addiction, even if you find yourself addicted to porn, go to Mikey show.com. And at the top, there's a section called help. If you click on that, it'll take you to links to get help with all that stuff. At the end of the show, I play a song that hopefully gives you encouragement. This song is exactly where I was at that time. Most people today would never think of me breaking the law. Doing drugs, doing hardcore narcotics. But I did. And I'm a different person today because of God's power in my life. This song is called Pieces. This is where this song's lyrics are about where I met him when I was broken like that. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. Have a great weekend and we'll come back here and do this again with you on Monday. The Mikey Show is out.