The Mikey Show Podcast - Episode 9

0:03This is the P1 Podcast for July 6, 2008. Good morning, Ham Diego. Shake it like a white girl. Go. Shake it. Shake it. I said shake it. I said shake it, Danny. Why aren't you shaking it? Oh, look. There he goes. There he goes. He's shaking his booty. Oh, yes. What a glorious, glorious boy to shake it like a white person. Oh, my God, he's so hot. Good morning. Oh, my gosh. Everybody looks so great today. Hello, hello. Good afternoon, 1201. Yes, on Sunday morning. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Coming to you live all the way from the spaceport. From our mouths to your ears. Hello, hello. Hi. Oh, we got a jam-packed podcast today. I'm so excited. I can hardly get to date myself. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

1:28So happy to be here with all of you people here today. And hello to all of you in Internet Zone as well. We love you. I love you. Marry me, please. All of you. Oh, my God. I so will. Like I said before, a compound in Texas. All right. Yes. So this is your P1 podcast, folks. It's my P1 podcast. It's all of our podcasts. We made the idea ourselves. And we're running a little late because I had to show Danny again how to use the internet because... Are you kidding me? He has no idea what the internet is about. I have old timers. Old timers. Old timers. Old timers disease. Old timers. Yes, yes. It's a rough disease. So this is a B1 podcast. This is episode nine. Woo! What's up now? What up? We're officially... Hey! Hey! We're like a gang now. We're officially a gang. We will cut you. And there is one, two, three, four, five of us on this podcast. Myself, I'm Piu and Quimbe. Hello. Hello, hello. Coming to you live. Hello, hello. And a little something about me. I sweat profusely. That's not little. Profusely. Even on MySpace, I found that you know how you can do how you're feeling for the day? Mine is permanently at sweaty.

2:47Do they have sweaty? Yes. That's perfect. It's really good. The face goes, meh, little sideways, like, smiley face. With drops dripping off of it? Yes, with drops. And in addition to myself, we have our friend P1 Peaches. Oh, hello. Hi, Peaches. Hi, how are you doing? Good. And Peaches is a huge fan of Ashley and the Ashley voice. Oh, my God, I am, you guys. I don't even remember what I sounded like before this. How did you ever live life without your Ashley voice? I don't know, you guys. I do it at home now. My parents are like, what the hell is that? Here we go. Yeah. You are beaters. She will own you in Mario Kart. That's correct. If you allow her. Not so much. Okay. Well, maybe someone, if someone would just upgrade to freaking GameCube instead of living in, like, 1996 or 8 or whatever, the N64 came out. Come and do you live. Come and do you live. Oh, hello. Yes, hello. Okay. I got excited. I didn't realize you had turned the camera. I'm glad you're excited. We're excited to have you here. We also have our friend, P1 Sanjaya. Hey. Hi.

4:02Sujaya, you know what? Sujaya is a little cutie pie. We love him. And Sujaya is a fan of prank calls. That's right. You do voices like no other. I used to make my own prank calls growing up as I was a kid. Taped them and everything. We used to smoke that green stuff and listen to them and laugh. What kind of voices would you do? A lot of gay ones, girl ones. Didn't she tell me once you called a gay phone line? I called a gay phone line, told them that I was what they called gay bashing. Oh, you were a victim of gay bashing? Yeah, and they wanted me to go down there for some counseling, which I don't believe it was counseling. He is a gay man. Do you think it was fondling? I believe so. Diddling instead of counseling? I never made it down there because... Dr. Wayne stopped by. Oh, well, he's a cure-offer. He offered to give you a ride. Yeah, he did. Also, on the podcast, we have our friend, P1 Space Boy! Hello, the king! Good morning. The king of all P1s, sir. How does it feel to be the king? Good. P1 God. Exhausted. P1 God. Yes, exhausted. Yes, you've been working very diligently upon this podcast. I had to upgrade all my circuits.

5:22You're in the same clothes we were last night. That's embarrassing for you to notice that. Yes, it is true. I watch your every detail, Space Boy. I thought that shirt was familiar. And last this week, but not least, in the most, is our friend, B1. Let the romance begin. Oh, no. Hello. And our friend Danny. He just recently turned 21. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's a big boy now. And an alcoholic. Yeah. He's so cute. Overnight. I was calling to say, happy birthday. Pilling daddy. Yeah, too bad. He only drinks like early drinks. We had a lovely little party for Danny, and I forgot to bring him his birthday present. So right here, right now. Danny, I have a present for you. I've been hearing about this all week. I have two presents for you. Oh, my God. Your first present is a DVD. I'm so excited. Oh, let's see. If it's what I think it is, I'm going to break it. It is. Are you kidding me? The Loose and Flashdance. Wow. I felt that you should own these two films. Thank you. And you might like Flashdance because it's kind of like porn. All right. And then I also made you.

6:40I didn't mean to get, like, all by myself, but I made you a present, Danny. Uh-huh. And if you could just give us a moment of your time to please listen to this. Oh. I'm going to freaking kill you. For the sequel, he wants Cloverfield. Apple iPhone and Cloverfield. Love too strong to be concealed. He loves them both. We know it's true. You should see his tattoos. We know Danny loves Cloverfield. BFF. You love me. I'm your BFF. You can't help but love me so or I will cook you in my oven. Look out. Danny's my BFF.

7:47Yay! Happy birthday, Danny! Thank you. I loved you. I still love you. I will love you for the rest of my life. Sorry, I freaked out. We'll make that available to you on P1 site later whenever you would like to listen to a Cloverfield song. It's really good. Even Iron Man said I sounded great. So, thank you. You did sound great. Thank you, thank you, thank you. So, Danny, what did you think of your song? What did you think of your song? Tell me right now. Look at the camera. Oh, hey, hey, there's children watching, Danny. For the record, Danny is smiling into the camera. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are babies and kids listening to this podcast. I hate you so much. Earmuffs and eye muffs. Put on your eye muffs, kids. Family show. And, yeah. So. We will talk later. How about we jump into a little bit of P1Sight.com, eh? Oh, we need to sing it. I need to sing it. We need to chat. So. Whatever, Iron Man. Whatever.

9:27Never Iron Man. You know you loved it. So, everybody. So, what do we feel like talking about some major events on the site? Anyone? How about this? How about this? I have an idea. Let's have a press conference. All right. What? Let's have a press conference. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Something major happened on P1's site this week, and we have P1 Danny here to field questions from the reporter. Here we go. Here we go. Are you ready, P1 Danny? Are you ready? Danny! Danny! Danny! Danny! Danny! Danny! Danny! Danny! The short African-American man over here. Danny Timber from High Times Magazine. Uh-huh. Is it true that you received a Nobel Peace Prize and was taken to you and given to nerd?

10:28That is still to come. We don't know yet. We don't know yet. All right. You, yes. Hi, this is Emma Roids from the Gassy Gazette. Is it true that nerd bailed on podcast number eight two hours before it was to start? Yeah, that is correct. Oh, my. Next question. Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny. Hello, hello, hello, hello. My name is Faye Slift from Botoxbabies.org. Is it true that P1Nerd deleted P1Site.com? Is this true? Please, please tell us now. Yes, he did. He accessed the site and deleted all the files. Oh, my gosh. Danny, Danny, Danny. Daniel, Daniel. Yes, you, sir, you, sir. Daniel. Adam Bomb from Astrological Stars? Is it true that you drove to Nerd's house to befriend him and you were pulled over by cops and they caught you in diapers? How did you hear that? It was all over the news. The verdict is still out on that. Hi, this is Rosa Gonzalez from Latina's Publisher Magazine.

11:47This is Rosa Gonzalez from Latina's Love Lowriders magazine. Um, no. No. I have a question for Tia Daddy. Who let the little girl in? How'd you get in here? How did you get in here, Rosa? Dude, I came with you guys. I'm in the audience. No, no. I put you downstairs with all the Hannah Montana that I just put in. No way, dude. I was downstairs watching Reservoir Dogs. No, no. Rosa, I told you. This is for grown-ups only. You need to step behind the road. But I have a pregunta for Tia Daddy. Let the little girl speak. You're supposed to be watching the camera stuff. What's that? What? Yes, little girl. What is your question? Yeah, is it true that nerd is a wank? What? No comment. Rosa, I recorded Camp Rock for you. I don't understand why you're not downstairs watching it. I don't watch that. I only watch porn. No, Rosa, Rosa. This is a serious press conference here, okay? Okay, well, I'll see you guys later. Yeah, get back downstairs and finish your Hannah Montana. Okay. Someone get that Sharpie away from her. Oh my gosh. Hey, leave your eyebrows alone, Rosa. I gotta go down and want me to do yours, dear? No, no, stop. Okay. Are there any other questions? Dan, Dan, Dan. I have one more. I have one more Dan. Hello. My name is Ellis D from the Sweet Berry Wine Times. And my question to you is, is why would P1 Nerd delete the P1 site? Why?

13:13because I bought an iPhone. Next question. Dan, Dan, Dan, I have one more. One more before I go. One more, Dan. One more. Yes, you sir. Last question. Dan, Dan, Dan. Clint Torres from Hair Club for Men. Is it true that P1 Nerd taught you how to perform hair transplants? Yes, he did actually. Yes, yes. I'm a professional. I'm a professional. Whoa. Whoa, we all kind of lost hearing in one ear. That was weird. Danny, Danny, Danny, may I ask you one more question? Danny, may I ask you one more question? Yes, you. Yes, Danny. I was wondering, like, my name is Mary Joanna. I, too, am from, I am from High Times. I forgot that my friend was like, here, bro. Will Nerd ever come back? And can this happen again? Huh? Let me just go hit the J one more time. She's stoned. Wake up. Bro, bro, is this going to happen again? No. What? I was deceived. Okay. Okay, all right. It's Quimpy, and this press conference is over. There's nothing to see here, people. That's it. Yes, yes. Thank you, Danny, for giving us your time and your heart. Yes.

14:38So how many hours did you have to work on that site to get it back going, brother? Well, paparazzi, space boy, space girl, apparition, and Bacardi were over at my house until 5 a.m. that night. Oh, my God. Give them props. So great. They all helped out, so thank you. You guys rock. Yeah. And this all went down during a Q&A site event of sorts for Danny's birthday party. Yeah, it was my birthday party. Happy birthday. Best birthday party ever. It was good times. Up until 12 a.m. But Danny's birthday party, thank you for opening your house and your heart to us. It was totally fun. The greasy pizza was pretty scary. Did any of you guys see that? That was delicious. Danny ordered a stuffed crust, all meat lover, like pan crusted pizza. Yeah. Are you fat? And you could literally, like, squeeze the grease out of it. We, like, tilted the box, like, sideways, and all this grease started dripping down. So nasty. So gross. My heart immediately clogged, and I had an almost heart attack right after my slice of that delicious greasy pizza. I'll admit it. We also viewed some duck tails.

15:54Oh, look, Apparition, you know you want to sing along. Apparition and Jason together. Can we hit the mute button? Okay, you're going to have to stop that. Yeah, check it out. Yeah, it was a wild and crazy party with duck tails. Danny was drinking a Smirnoff Ice. I was not. Whoa. Shut up. He was drinking like Malibu right out of the bottle. He was so wasted. I mean, he could barely stand up by the end of the night. You're a party animal, Danny. Yeah. You're too crazy for me. Uh-huh. You're even too crazy for me. What was your favorite part of your night besides having to resurrect your website that you paid for? Honestly, it was the print stuff. We found out that Bacardi was in a Prince video. Yes. He was in that, oh, seven, and we'll watch them fall. He was just a little boy. Oh, my gosh, face boy, you're so insensitive. But we found out Bacardi, when he was a young little boy, he was in a Prince video. Yeah. How cool is that? Dude. And he was actually kind of a main character in the video. Yes, he got to kiss the beautiful Apollonia, I do believe.

17:17Holy crap. The chick that was always in those videos when Diamonds and Pearls came out, Cream, there was always this one lady. I don't know if it's Apollonia or one of the other mini women, but he got to kiss the pretty lady in the video. Yeah, it's Apollonia. And then Prince made every six-year-old on the set sign a confidentiality disclosure agreement. No way. Just kidding. Oh, that's something Michael Jackson didn't think about. Wouldn't that be crazy if he was having a six-year-old sign confidentiality disclosure agreement? Dude, it took us how long to find that video? Oh, yeah. Prince has nothing on the internet. He has nothing on the internet. It's so brutal. Yeah, he will cease and desist you so fast. Yeah. It's ridiculous. But it was a good party, all in all. Yeah. I must agree. And then two days ago, I, myself, Pion Quimby, with Mr. Quimby, we threw a happy for the July party. Yeah. Yeah. Happy for the July, everyone. And it was a lot of fun. Yes, it was. I must say. I fell asleep at 630 because I'm not good at drinking. Apparently, I would never make it as an alcoholic. I would just fall asleep all the time. It wouldn't be good. You were in the pool, like, all by yourself, all drunk. That was so funny. Nobody would, like, get in. It was so much fun. It felt so nice. It was very hot in Poway. Yeah. It was good times. We had all the doggies there. Yay. Yeah, we're watching five dogs until tomorrow.

18:44And Danny loved all the dogs so much, right? No, I did not. Opposite. I wanted to freaking kill them all. Oh, my gosh. They're just little doggies. But I like dogs. I wouldn't do that. Spaceway liked the doggies. Oh, yeah. I love those doggies. Which one was your favorite? Probably the boxer. Roxy. But he didn't get drool on his shorts like I did. Yeah, drool on your shirt like me. It's off my face, though. It was hot outside. The poor doggies were scared. Whatever. It was all about the emo macaw. Yes. Poor Rita. We have a macaw at Mr. Quimby's house. And once his niece was born, she started plucking herself. And we don't know why. And even the vet said it wasn't because of the baby. Just sometimes birds do this. She actually, like, talked for me. Did I tell you? Oh, she did? Yeah, she actually, I think Kelly was, oh, Veronica and Kelly, I think we were over there. And then the bird went, bye-bye. And we were all like, whoa. it again but she of course she didn't do it again for the rest of the night i think yeah super lucky rita says a lot of stuff she says if we're cooking food like she likes chicken and meat and so if we're cooking food she'll be like hot hot hot and she will start squawking until you give her some she is the only bird i know that eats chicken

19:53That's so weird. She eats carne asada. She loves carne asada. She's also a big fan of baby food like Shan Shan. Here's your cousin. She also went when I walked by too. She's a pretty bird. She'll even say pretty bird for you. Rachel said she heard that bird tell that dog to shut up. Yes. No way. What? Get up. Yeah, Rita says a lot of stuff. If the dogs are getting crazy, she will start going, shut up, shut up. I love animals, stupid. But it was a good party. I was so surprised that all the people came out. I want to say thanks to Sidilish. She made the most bomb hamburgers I've ever had in my life. And let's see, all of you in this room, thank you. Everybody who came to my house, I mean, if I could just go down the list, there's a lot of people. So thank all of you for bringing more buns than I will ever need in my life. You know me, I love buns. Oh, my God. Hey, Dr. Wayne, we didn't invite you to this party. You continue harassing Mikey's show. Leave us alone, jerky. So those are some of the events that went on for the site, and there should be more coming up. Me and Peaches are going to get together and plan a karaoke night.

21:12Oh, dude. So all of you can come and sing your heart out. You sing your heart. Like, give us an example. What do you like to sing, Peaches? No. Shout through the heart. No, no, no. So we'll be planning a karaoke night, and football season's right around the corner, kids. We should be having our P1 site if you signed up for the Fantasy Football League. We'll be having our draft soon. Dude, there's something major with the site that we should talk about, okay? Like, we've had a ton of new members in the last two weeks. Yeah. Two weeks. Sorry. I don't speak English very well. And Ham Wednesday alone garnered 29 new members.

22:03Two forums. Members that actually post, too. Yes. Holy Toledo. Yes. And if you don't know about Ham Wednesday, we'll get into that a little later when we talk about the Mikey Show. But from here on out, July 2nd will always be known as Ham Day. So if it's a Monday, Tuesday, whatever, it'll be a Ham Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Nice. Or Wednesday. Nice. But don't ever forget it. And so just to give you an example of some of our new members, we have a young P1 Irish hooker. Love that name. Yeah, we know. We have P1 Mary Ray. We have P1 Arm Wrestler. Yeah. There was P1 Sweetie on the Phone. Suburban Cowboy. P1 Suburban Cowboy. The list goes on and on. And even Sanjaya's mother. That is awesome. I want baby pictures. I'll have her post them up there. I demand all baby pictures and any audio. Like naked baby pictures in the bathtub. Yes. We also have like P1 Veronica Lee. Oh, love her. Love her. We think. I can't think of all of them. So many of you. There's a Raw. There's a Lolo.

23:10Mary Ray. Yeah, I mentioned her. There's a raw. So we just want to say to all of you new forum members, thank you so much. Get in there. Ham it up. If you want to talk about ham, this is the place to be. I mean, have you ever been to a chat room where everybody just talks about ham? It's the funniest thing in the whole wide world. I even got a picture of my mom with ham because she gets it. She gets it. And if you're a new member, you might get a special little greeting. From Sanjaya. Oh, that's right. What's the deal? I like to welcome people, and I just, you know, I'm asking them a question if they like what they see. It's just my avatar. Are you meeting your avatar picture? Yeah. Of Sanjaya Desvita? What's wrong with that? Please pull down your underpants. Whoa. I always have to, like, you know. I don't want to see that. Minimize the window whenever Sanjaya's picture comes out. There's some people that do like it. I got one guy that's in my fan club. Older gentleman. But say it in the Sanjaya voice, your little welcome phrase. Like what you see? That is creepy and inappropriate. And I love it a lot.

24:20You want to talk about creepy and inappropriate, okay? So P1Jesse, for some reason, decided that I have a new nickname called Quimbo Slice. Love it. What he did is he photoshopped my face onto Quimbo Slice's body. But he abused the picture a little much in the chat, maybe. But there is a thread within Random called Quimbo Slice, so if you'd like to see my protruding Quimbo Slice belly button... That is the most awkward belly button I've ever seen. It's actually a Johnsonville bratwurst of a belly button. It's a tie-in with Eddie Papani's wonderful marketing strategy. Clown. One major happening on the site, and we're going to get into it right here, right now. Oh, no. Sanjaya and Peaches. Get ready. Talk about it, cheaters. What? Team victory. Let me just explain what happened, and I'll let you freaks just go crazy. What happened was, basically, Peaches and Sanjaya had a thread off. Peaches had already started a thread called Where Is Everyone? Because I was bored and a loser and had no one to talk to.

25:36And so that thread was started and then Sanjaya came along and started the exact same thread. Yeah. Now, please explain to us what happened. Yeah, and then freaking Danny decided, oh, well, I'm an admin, and I'm dumb, and I'm going to lock the thread, and I'm a cheater. And then next thing I know, Sanjaya sends me a text that says, game over. You can shout, I don't care. You can put the chickens all you want. Hey, Danny, Danny, show everybody what victory looks like. Yeah, yeah. No, it's crap. The only way the boys can win is if they cheat. So you know what? We did not cheat. Oh, crap. He freaking locked the thread. He locked the thread. You had an admin on your forum. You had an admin on your side who could have unlocked it. You want to know why? Because we're better than you. I had the power all along, and I never did it. Your girl over here did not unlock it for you. Because you never told her, clown. She knew it. Really. There's a little button on the bottom of it that says unlock. Push here.

26:30I still don't understand. It's not that hard. You know what? It doesn't even matter. We're better than you cheaters anyway. You got to cheat to beat us, dude. Hey, you killed peaches. Yeah, you did. And you know what? It doesn't even matter. We would have totally kicked your ass. But you know what? Oh, I'm Danny. I'm the admin. I got all butthurt. I'm going to go make out with Nerd Lock the Thread. Oh, gee. Danny is your giant. Yeah, exactly. You keep talking to crap, but we still won. We have nothing to say, really, because we won. Because you cheated. We won. Can you explain how you won? We won. We won. We posted more than her. Team victory. That was the race. Explain how you did it. You locked my thread. The race was that she was up by a couple hundred, and she said, you'll never catch me. And I said, watch me. Because you cheated, then you locked the thread. And we won. Right, Danny? We won fair and square. What are you talking about? Okay, everybody take a breath, please. I'm sorry. I'm all like, look at me. I'm shaking. Everybody calm down. So basically what happened was there are two threads and they tried to see who could get the most posts within that thread. Danny cheated. You cheated. Danny, you did cheat. Why? I just used my tools to my advantage.

27:46No, you used your powers for evil, Danny. For reals. Thank you. That's what you did. It wasn't even a fair contest, though. If you had just left the thread alone, you know, we could really see who liked you. What are you talking about? Hey, okay, listen. I was going to catch up anyways. I had way more Fangias out there. Yes! Fangias! Than Peaches. She had, like, her and L.A. Mom. I had, like, Kat. You know, like... apparition i don't care who it is because i offered him the hey dude hot chicks and he was all so no whatever dude it doesn't even matter then quimmy and i started going crazy and that's when danny locked it because we said he was gay for steve jobs yeah i said that danny likes to bone uh crystal skulls that's right that's right And Danny loves Cloverfield. Cloverfield. Cloverfield. Cloverfield. Just sleep at night knowing that you're cheaters. Dan, I got your back, Danny. It's like telling, like, um... Yeah, you can't even get it out because you're so lame. You won't even let us talk. What are you talking about? So, yap your mouth off. It's like telling Tom Brady to not throw the ball to Randy Moss. Are you kidding me? PFF. That's right. Oh, doesn't that sound good right now? We're all friends here. We're all friends here. That is the sound of...

29:02Victory. Yeah, boy. Yeah. High five. Oh, yeah. Okay. Love that drop. Moving on. Moving on. We're winners. We have a little. Oh, my gosh. Shh. I'm the host here. Victory. Shut the heck up. Victory. Okay. Danny, calm down. We'll play your song again. Yeah, play it. No. We'll play your song again. That's me. Have a great laugh. That's the best drop ever. Okay. So just a little announcement for P1Site.com. As you know, Danny has poured a lot of his own time and some of his own money into the site. I mean, it's... That's an understatement. And if some of you didn't already know, we do have Google ads on the site. And they're not, you know, those horrible ads that, like, pop up and harass your day. They're just... Google ads. What Google does is they kind of look at topics in our forums and they put up ads that kind of correspond with what we're talking about. So if you didn't already know, if you click on these Google ads, it, uh, how much money does it make for the site? Like 11 cents per like 11 clicks. Okay. So I don't really get it, but

30:25This is a big announcement. We're going to post this up on the forums and announcements that Wednesday, July 9th, will officially be Click a Google Ad Day. And we want to see on that day how many clicks we can get. And moving forward, you should click like at least, you know, click some ads like five times a day. Help out P1's site, you know. You don't have to buy anything either. You don't have to buy anything. Just click on the ad. If it looks cool, click on it. But officially on Wednesday, July 9th, we're going to have everybody click as many ads as they can all day long. And let's see how much money we can raise for P1Site.com. It'll be real cool. Danny will report us the numbers at the end of the day. So it'll be fun times. Fun times. Let's see. Anything else special on the forums this week that you kids would like to discuss? Anybody have anything spectacular they'd like to discuss? No? No. Not really. I'm too tired now. Scrapper bikes. I love it. Yes. Yes. Okay. Go ahead and talk about your weirdo strapper bikes. The worst. Are you kidding me? It's the worst. Have you seen it, Tim? Yep. It's like 20-inch rims on these.

31:44Old lady bikes. It's like getting, like, beach cruisers. It's like, okay, so Friday night, Bacardi comes over to my house for my party, and he's talking about something that his boys brought up to him up in Oakland. They're called scrapper bikes. And what these guys basically do is they get old school, like, beach cruisers, and they put, like, 20-inch rims on them. Oh, my God. That's something different than what I was thinking. That's hysterical. I like how you can ghost ride the whip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the three-wheel bikes. So if you go into the video section, there's a thing that I posted. It's like continuing from Friday night's post or something like that. I don't know what it is. We'll give you the notes, kids. We'll give you the notes. Oh, shizzle. So this week we have decided to play a game. It's one of Spaceway's favorite bits. I love this bit. He loves it so much. I'm excited. We are going to play, once again, Two Facts, One Lie. Two Facts, One Lie. That's so cute. That's so sexy, you guys. Well, welcome to Two Facts, One Lie. I am your host, Quibi. And today we all have two facts and one lie about ourselves. And the goal of this game is to determine which one is the lie. Dun, dun, dun. Oh, my gosh. What's the lie? So what we're going to do is each person is going to read off what their Two Facts, One Lie is.

33:40And then we will all try to guess which one is the lie. And the winner at the end gets a big ham to the head. That's the prize for the day. Ham to the head. I want that ham to the head. So I say, let's spin my internal tumbler. Yeah, my brain just flew off. Okay, we're going to start with Sanjaya this week, sir. Hey. Hey. All right. Ready? Sir, read them off, sir. Okay. The first one is when I went to Vegas, I bungee jumped off the stratosphere. The second one was I have a twin sister. The third one, I used to swing cats by their tails when I was a kid. You used to what?

34:40swing cats by their tails when I was a kid? That better be the lie. Oh, man. Don't get mad. I know it's not a lie, though. Oh, no. Okay. Well, I'll take the first... Look at his face. He's so pissed. Oh, man. I will take the first stab at this, and I will say that you never jumped off the stratosphere. That is my guess. Danny? I say sister. Okay. Spisla? I've never heard of a sister. Okay. Pugis? Sister. Sinjaya? What is the lie? Bungie jumping. Yeah! I won that one. Just because it's your BFF, that's not the reason why you got it. BFF. I know that you have a twin sister. I know that for a fact. I was a kid. She's probably so beautiful. I was a kid. All right. Let's go with Peaches. Oh, hello. Hey. All right. Here we go.

35:39My first one is I have had 18 teeth pulled out of my mouth. The second one. Yes. Smile. Smile real quick. Okay. All right. They're all there. And then the second one is the first and only time I was ever sung by a jellyfish was on my face and neck. And my last one is I started dating my first serious boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 23. Okay, Sanjaya, you take the first stab. I'll go with number two, jellyfish. Okay. I will go with number three. I will go with number one. What's number one again? I've had 18 teeth pulled. I believe that's true. Let's go with number two. So my lie is the jellyfish. Sanjaya and Spaceboy, great guesses. I'll take a stab at it. Okay. I'll go. I'll go. I'm really excited about my two facts, one lie this week. All right. Here we go. Number one. I once gave myself a black eye when I was a cheerleader when I was trying to do a back handspring. I need myself in the eye. Handspring? Yes. Second.

37:05The first time I ever smoked weed was under the monkey bars at my elementary school with some skater kids in the sixth grade. These kids were total loadies. And my third lie or fact is I made our family Chihuahua retarded when I was a little kid. I was about two or three because I always wanted to hold it and I would accidentally drop the dog on its head. And the dog would just... After I got my hands on it, it would just run around and chase its tail in a circle. And, yeah. So, what is the lie? Go ahead, DJs. Okay. Well, the last time you did this, the cheerleading one was the lie. So I'm going to go with, you gave yourself a black eye. Okay. I'd have to say the poor dog. Okay, the chihuahua. Daddy? Smokey, smokey. Smokey, smokey. I think it's the cheerleader one.

38:06The cheerleader one? The Y is... Smoking weed under the monkey bars. That one sounded so accurate. That's right. You still remember you were a six. No, four. Yeah. No, I was coming out of the womb, joint in hand. I was ready to go. I was like, where's the Bob Marley, mom? Puff, puff, give. I got the moochies, mom. Give me your boob. And mammograms. And mammograms. Okay, let's go with Danny and try not to screw it up this time, Danny boy. Don't give us answers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my first language is Spanish. Okay. The second one was I was stung by a stingray at Swami's once. And the other one is in high school I was known as CK, no, CCK. That stands for car crash kid because I crashed my fourth day driving. Okay, I think that is the lie. CCK or CKK, whatever that is, Danny. KKK. Yes, yes. Space Boy, what's your guess? Let me give him a salute. What was the first one again? The Spanish was my first language. I'm going to go that. Okay. Peaches, what do you think the lie was? Yeah, the first one because he doesn't know a lick of Spanish. You would still know some. Oh, Sagina.

39:31I would say he got stung by the stingray. Wow. Okay. You got it right. What? You're always in the ocean. Yeah, I know. That's why I put it in there. You guys aren't supposed to use my history as references? Nah, sucka. She got played. And then I purposely screwed up the third one to see if she would fall for it. And she totally did. Took the bait. I'm so stupid. Okay, Space Boy. All right, here we go. Yay! As we know, I cannot lie worth a lick, so I'm going to look this way. Okay, don't look at any of us. And smile the entire time. Look at me the whole time. Nope. Okay, the first one. I was on the sets of a Green Day video as it was being filmed. The second one. I once belonged to a theater group, and we toured the U.S. the summer of 1993. Or the third one, when my ex-girlfriend and I visited San Francisco, we took a tour of Alcatraz, and she accidentally locked me in one of the cells. Oh, those are so good. Oh. So good. I already know the answer to that one. Okay. Well, I'm going to go with, I think your second one is a lie. You did not belong to a theater troupe that toured the country. Okay. Peaches? I have no idea. Yeah, I'll go with what she said. Okay. Sanji? I'm just going to have to go with number three. Number three, okay. Yeah, totally. Yeah? Yeah.

40:50You can't lock yourself in the prison. That's exactly right. I already know that. Sucka. Alcatraz is like the museum. You fooled me so good, Spaceboy. Oh my gosh. He is the king at this game. You're the greatest at fooling me. Tell me more. So let me tally up the points here. And the winner is the winner of a ham to the head, ladies and gentlemen, P1 Zendaya. Hey. Take it to the head. Ready? And put it on. Yeah. Good job. Ham to the head. And ham. That's making me so hungry. Get to cooking, Carnot. Yeah. Carnot is officially the P1 podcast chef. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Sorry. I got to talk right into this. I don't want to yell and make your guys' ears bleed. And he's making us some chicken today. I'm very excited about that. because I'm starving. I could eat Danny alive. I'll throw him in my oven and cook him up for some dinner. Yum, yum, yum. No. All right. That was really fun. So, we had an awesome week of Mikey's show last week and the week before. Let's give it up for Mikey and the game. Yay! And pictures, podcasts are all available to you at MikeyShow.com. And I'm just going to clap.

42:22Until my hands fall off. We love you guys. We love you, Micah, Eddie, Ashley, Seth, B-Rub, Sky, and Bobby, too. And Sean. Bobby? Bobby came before Sean. That's brutal. I just lost my brain for a second there. So we had some interesting stuff go down the last couple weeks on the Micah Show. The first of those, the grossest thing ever. They swabbed the studio. Ladies and gentlemen, they swabbed the studio to see what can happen. You can go to MikeyShow.com to get the pictures of what the swabs captured. That studio is the dirtiest, dirtiest, dirtiest place. Disgusting. It's a hole of germs. This is pathetic. It really is. It was kind of creepy, dude. So what did they do? Well, what they did is that Zeth went and got this test kit. In which you take a swab, and then you put the swab in a Petri dish. And you let those Petri dishes sit. And then you see what kind of spores and whatnot arise. And it was dirty. About two or three days later, they let the swab sit. And they didn't really have a guide to tell them what each spore was. But that phone board...

43:48The microphone. I mean, granted, it's people talking to microphones and touching a lot of buttons. There's a whole lot of germs there. Yeah, I guess they said that the one that was the nastiest was the one that the button Mikey would always press to get calls. Yes. Like the call buttons. Because he's always constantly touching that one. And, like, if I remember correctly, like, the Petri dish had grown fur. Yeah. Yeah, a couple of them had. I saw the pictures on MikeyShare.com. It was pretty. Bad. I would be surprised if Sean, I wouldn't be surprised if Sean came to this year's 28-hour show in a plastic bubble. In which he doesn't have to touch any of the Rock 153 studios. Yeah, you'd think the number one morning show would have pristine perfection. You'd think that they would, but Clear Channel could give two rips. That's what I was trying to say. We're going to protest them! But the upper management break room is spotless. Oh, really? Have you seen it? Can you eat off the floors? It's very nice. That would be sickening if it was really clean. Yeah. So that was creepy, and I think that now everybody on the Mikey Show is a germaphobe. So congratulations! Way to do that to yourselves. Let's see. Another wonderful... Okay, I'm really excited about this. They played some Jerky Boys audio.

45:12on the Mikey show this last week. If you don't know who the Jerky Boys are, man, that's rough. I grew up with the Jerky Boys, and what it is is a couple guys from Jersey who are really good with voices, kind of like Sanjaya, prank call the crap out of people. So they do a really good Indian guy voice. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I forget which bit they did. Danny, do you remember which Jerky Boy bit they put on? The one where they kicked the dog. Oh, yes. That one is wicked funny. We got a little bit of that? Yeah, I'm getting it right now. Okay, Space Boy's getting it right now. But Jerky Boys, they used to have tapes and CDs back in the day, and it's just good stuff. I was really surprised when I turned on my radio getting back from the break, and they had a little bit of this. I want to talk to Harvinder. This is Purpa. Purpa? Yes. Harvinder? Yes. Are you coming to get me? Huh? Are you coming to pick me up? Pick me up? No, pick me up, you bastard guy. I'm not going for it. Are you coming? Why I am coming? No, because I rub it and then you do it. Huh? No. You say, I call you and you say you come get me. For what? For the car. The car? No, see, I come from...

46:40I come from Punjabi and I come to Oxford and you see you pick me up. Why? Oh, that was good stuff. Oh, man. I love the turkey boys so much. What was the one that was all, hola, papi? Like, there was a really, they were playing. I don't know. They were calling me some, like, language school or something. It was very, very weird. Oh, my God. That was, I was crying in my cubicle. It was hysterical. Another super, they had a YouTube clip of the week. Yeah. And it was this douchebag guy by the name of Dimitri leaving a phone message for a woman that he met on the streets of San Francisco. Olga. Yeah, hi there, Olga. It's Dimitri. Sorry I had to leave such a rushed message with you when we met the other day. I just want to quickly give you my phone number, and I had to get the heck out of the area. In any event, I figure I better leave you a more detailed message and explain why I approached you. I am single. I have no trouble meeting women. I mean, women approach me six, seven times a day. Let's skip to the end. But I'm very particular about what I like. Yeah, let's skip to the end of this because we had a lot of this on the Mikey show. No, the end they did not play on the Mikey show. Because it's brutal, son. It's brutal, yup. Would you like to hear a little bit of that? I would, please.

47:56Okay, so what you did not get to hear on the Mike Show last week is that Dimitri called this woman back three days later or something like that. Was it a couple? Yeah. It was like three days later. Like, dude was pissed. Yes. He left a follow-up message to the woman who gave him his phone number. I can't imagine why she didn't call him back. For the people that didn't hear it, he basically just started kind of talking about himself. And it didn't work out. There's nothing wrong with me. Matter of fact, I'm one of the few men in the city that has nothing wrong with him. So I'm giving you that 3 o'clock deadline. I don't hear from you. You lose my number. I'm erasing yours right now. So you won't be hearing back from me. So that's it. 3 o'clock tomorrow, or you can just completely forget it. Now, I understand if you've got other issues, like maybe you're not playing games. Maybe you've had, I don't know, maybe you were abused in childhood. Maybe you're... Mother has cancer, you're going to chemo. Maybe you're just a person who's extremely frightened or has an anxiety disorder. Maybe you're on some medication for that. I don't know. There could be another issue that I'm not aware of. But nobody says, call me, hands a person a business card, and then doesn't return calls. It's extremely passive-aggressive. You could actually look that up, passive-aggressive personality disorder.

49:25You let me know. If you've got issues, psychological issues, if you're on any sort of medication for anxiety or depression, I'm not interested. Okay? But if you're psychologically normal and you haven't called me because there's been some horrible thing that's happened in your life which prevented you, that's fine. But otherwise, don't call me. Okay? Bye. That's awesome. Who does that? I can't imagine. What's wrong with that message? I don't know why she didn't call it. It sounded like that guy had psychological problems. Maybe you guys do. Let me ask you a question. When you're picking up on a girl and the girl hands you a business card instead of her number on a piece of paper, doesn't that kind of give you a message? Yeah, like, don't call me. It's like, here's my business card. Seriously. Dude, yeah. That sounds real snooty anyways. Like, here's my business guy. Well, it's an easier way of getting out of this situation. Yeah, that's true. What if he had a knife in his hand? But if you are psychologically normal. Yeah, and before that, he says, this is...

50:35He says, this is how it's going to go. Yeah. Like he's telling you, this is how it's going to go. Oh my God. I can't imagine why she wasn't taken with him like immediately. Like he sounds like such a cat. And he says like that, like girls pick up on him like six times a day and stuff. It's so fun. And we do have this YouTube clip in the forums, in the video section. So if you want to give the whole thing a listen for yourself, it's right there for you. What's it called? I don't know what they did. It's called the douchiest message ever. The douchiest message. Yeah. Just look for the, search the word douche on P1Site.com and it'll take you right there. It'll come up, yes. It'll be great. Yes. Another topic covered on the Mikey Show. Let the romance begin. Leave me alone, Demetria. I don't like you. Eddie shared with us. that he believes that his gas is being siphoned from his car. I missed this. So weird, dude. Yeah. Like, he filled up his tank, and then the next day he goes to drive to RB and a few other places, and he already has half a tank. Oh, and that's not really possible. And what's scary about that is hearing that story, that causes paranoia within me. And, yeah, me too. Like, do you guys think that gas siphoning is now going to become a problem with gas prices? Yes, definitely. Dude.

51:56There's this shop right next door to my work, and they cut all the lines on the gas tanks so they can get the gas out of there. The whole way. Yeah, the AutoZone. All the company trucks. All the company trucks. Just hope they siphon your gas because if you puncture the tank or you cut the gas lines, that's way more expensive to repair. There was a funny story. Like, some guy called in, and he knew someone who, like, his buddy was, like, going to the desert in the middle of the night. like, cops roll up to knock on his, like, camper door, I guess. Cops have a guy on, like, the ground arrested, and he's throwing up. Did any of you guys hear this? Yes. He put the hose down the wrong tube, and it was actually the septic tank, not the gas tank, that he was trying to... That the guy was trying to sign up. Oh, man. Yeah, so some guy was sucking up some septic juice. Septic juice. I love septic juice. Subject juice, it tastes so good. Subject juice. Yummy. Yeah. Delicious, huh? Best story ever. Yeah. They didn't even press charges. They didn't even press charges. Oh, yeah, because he ate ass. He was inhaling pieces of sharks. Yeah. Oh. Oh.

53:09I think that's punishment enough. I found out some guy was inhaling S to get to my gas. I'd be like, okay, you're good. Karma. But Eddie got a house, so now he can put his car in the garage and pray to God. But now I'm so paranoid. I am too. I don't get garage parking at my home. I don't. Locking gas caps. But that's what Eddie had. He said he had a locking gas cap. Oh, really? Dude, my dad's a mechanic, dude. There's other ways to do it. There's plenty of ways to get that done. Hopefully, Eddie with his new home doesn't have this problem anymore. It'll be super fantastic. This week, oh my gosh, a dream of mine came true on the Mikey Show. I got to play Bombed at the beach. Yeah, you did. Talk about it. And it was so much fun. It was really rough because now I'm kicking myself for not winning. No, it was hard, though. There was one question where if I had gotten that, I would have been tied with Sky, and it would have been awesome, but I lost. But you fail. Yes, I failed. That game is kind of hard because those drunkies, they will surprise the crap out of you. Pull-ups and knowledge that you don't even know. Yeah, like that girl, I knew she would know that the Celtics won.

54:25But had I said she voted for John Kerry, but she doesn't remember who he is, I would have had that one in the bag. Dude, Skye had it down. She's like, I have a feeling she's going to say, what did she say? Dol? Al Gore. Al Gore. Because, like, no one remembered the Kerry dude. Yes. And Skye was on a good one that day. Like, she won the Dunn Chick Challenge. Yeah, she did. She won Bombed at the Beach. And it was Ashley's birthday. Yes. And it was Ashley's beautiful birthday. She won Ashley. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Ashley. Happy 24th. I was going to say happy birthday. To Ashley. P1 Ashley. I'm in. Ashley, I mean, my name is Danny. I'm an idiot. Yes, don't forget. Danny's a retard, everybody. That's what nerd said. Ha ha. You're a retard. Dude, don't use the R word. Oh, my gosh. It's hard. I will quit the site if you say retard ever again. I'm quitting today. I'm quitting today. I quit this bitch. I quit this bitch. So, yeah. So, Sky won for her person. Dream come true, though. If you ever get a chance, we bombed at the beach.

55:32They don't play it as often anymore. I highly recommend you get all up in that. There are birthday messages from the Mikey Show team to Ashley, and they're on MikeyShow.com. They made videos of, like, happy birthday to her. So if you want to check those out, those are also available to you over there. And now. Let's talk about the greatest day ever. One of the greatest day ever in lack of show history. Oh, my gosh. This is up there with maybe the sunburn story in a little bit. This is up there with some loving. So last Wednesday, we had Sean TV. And Sean TV is quickly becoming one of my favorite, favorite things of all time. So Sean highlighted Iron Chef America. I guess. Can any of you guess? Pick me! Pick me! Oh my gosh, what the secret ingredient was. Pick me! Hum. Hum. Hum. Peaches. Whatever was the secret ingredient. Ham! Ham! And that's where it all began. It was just one big ham joke after the other. I like ham. No, we don't have any...

56:48audio of that no it's okay it's okay because um it's on the p1 site and mikey show if you want to listen to that ham wednesday so what had happened is it just became one big ham joke As a result of Sean TV. For the rest of the day. The week. Yes. The week, yeah. And P1 Chris called in first and said it was kind of ambiguous. That was the best line, by the way. Oh, my gosh, yes. P1 Chris is a good friend to me and Mr. Quimby. Oh, was that your buddy? Yeah, that was our friend P1 Chris who was in the studio with P1 Herald a couple weeks back. And so after that on the site, everybody started freaking out. I guess in chat. I wasn't really there to see some of that, but we started Ham Wednesday as a result of that. And people started posting all their ham photos. I called Rob and said, guess what day it is, Rob? I told him it was Ham Wednesday, and he was busting up. And he said, we're about to go on commercial. You call me back. And so I did get on the air and began my statement with all due respect. Yes. Because when you respect people, that's what you say. Yes, a.k.a. Sorry, Sky.

57:54Ham Wednesday has now become a phenomenon. This is what we're going to do every week. Thank you, Quimby, for the lovely, you know, for the marketing for the night today. She was fantastic. I am the ham. I am the ham. That was a voicemail that she left for me on the day. Yeah, because it was the greatest marketing ploy ever. Because what happened is I called in and told him it was Ham Wednesday on the site. Mikey went and logged into P1's site and told, like, all of San Diego to get on P1's site. That day, we had, number one, we had 130 people online at the same time. There were 99 visitors. Dude, I thought it was going to crash. Was it 99? 99 visitors at one point. TZ and P1 Ginger got screenshots of all the people online. There was 99 guests and about 30 members online. It was like 120 users on. It's the most we've ever had. I'm surprised it didn't crash, dude. I thought it was going to. No, it was so crazy. Especially after somebody tried to delete the site because they had to show Danny Huddy's internet. After somebody tried to delete the site, this kind of like...

59:04Brought it all back. Because ain't nothing going to bring us down. Ain't nobody going to slow us down. Amen. We've got to keep on moving. And we've got a bunch of cool new guests on the site. And now every July 2nd will be Ham Day. Dude, we've got to plan that. It's official. From now until forever. We've got to get ham hats. Oh, my God. Like, the next year, we've got to plan something. I've already been looking for my founder. No, 28-hour show, Ham Hats. Ham Hats. We will all have our Ham Hats. And if you are available to cruise down for a little bit of the 28-hour show this year, make sure to grab your Ham Hats. Yes, the podcast peeps will be out there. Yes, and I will not try to have Sky. Autograph mine because she said that she will spit on all of our ham hats. She will not autograph them. That can be your signature. Like DNA from Skye. Yeah. I like ham. I don't want my hat to spit upon. If she would give me her autograph, that would be wonderful. But I'm telling you, one of these days, Skye needs to embrace the ham. She needs to take on the ham and own it. She does. If she were to own the ham, it could be all hers. That's cool. I'm taking it back.

1:00:18make fun of her ever again. Sure, yeah, we wouldn't. Did you guys catch when they were doing the end of the show on Danny's birthday and they were doing Ramsey and Skye and Skye's all, we're out of ham! Isn't that when Ramsey started meowing? Yeah, you know, meow! I love it. He'd whip Ramsey and just go, meow! That is the weirdest thing. Who meows when they get whipped? He must like it. It was kind of hot. It was kind of hot. Meow. Meow. Meow. Oh, Sky. My man servant, Ramsey. Meow. Oh, Sky. I love you, Ramsey. I will whip you with my gold bouillon whip. My sugar whip. Sugar whip. My sugar whip. That was fun times. That was fun times. Anybody else have any Maggie Show bits you enjoyed over the last couple weeks? I already said mine. Anything? Well? No. Yeah, we do have some more audio out of my voicemail box. Okay. Why not? Let's have some fun with audio. Enjoy this. Okay. Damn! F*** you, Danny! F*** you, f*** you! I hope you like this message a lot. Wow. You're talking to my f***ing boyfriend, and you want to talk to a f***ing bitch who's BFF. I'm your BFF. He's just your corruptor. Death.

1:01:49Death to you. Get in my oven. And there you have it. That was the night that Danny, like, three-way called my boyfriend. And then I was just pretty much out of the conversation because Mr. Quimby and Danny would like to make sweet love to one another. They were on the phone that night until about 3 o'clock in the morning, by the way. And I left that message about 11.30. I want to hear it again. Yeah, I do too. you Danny I hope you like this message a lot you're talking about boyfriend and you want to talk to a bitch who's BFF I'm a BFF he's just your corruptor death death to you get in my oven oh my god that's how she ends it sounds so psycho yeah that is your girl gee what else

1:02:48Could any of you guys have anything? Is that it? No. That's it. Well, I think that's a great note to end the show on this week. Very positive. I love Danny. I love Danny. I love Danny. I love Danny. I love Danny. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, my gosh. It didn't sound like she loved him a second ago. Wow. Wow. There you have it. We had so much fun this week. I can't wait until the next show when it's Embarrassed Quimby Day. Wahoo! Spaceway has so much audio on me. Keep leaving those voicemails. I will. Don't you worry. Because I'll forget that you record them and don't leave it. Dude, now I'm all freaked out every time I leave you a voicemail. Oh, I have one of you, too. I got one for you, too. Yeah. What? Yeah. I'm still going to find it. You do? What?

1:03:53One of your voicemails, Peaches? I guess so. Oh, no. We're all getting blackmailed here today. Ooh, something smells good downstairs. Oh, my God. My boyfriend is cooking. I'm going to stuff my face. You guys, look how hot it is. There we go. Oh, here we go. There we go. One last thing to leave you guys with. Oh, yes. It's coming. Hello, hello. Hello, hello, hello. Hello, it's 1942. Hello, how are you? Hey, Danny. It's Nicole, so you're probably sleeping, but I'm sure your phone's been, like, blown up about this, but I wanted to know if you saw the essay nerd posted on the forum. Give me a call back, give me a call. It was an essay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nicole, who's there? Who is Nicole? I don't even know. I'm like, hey, you, over there. Okay, well. Here we go! Yay!

1:04:54So next week we'll have plenty more audio for you, I'm sure. For shiz. Because I'm addicted to singing in the death box over there at the spaceway house. So sweaty in there. But once again, from the spaceport, we love you. I love you all so much. I could just kiss every last one of you. I'm going to marry you. I love you. What are you pointing at, Danny, huh? Happy birthday, boy. Thank you. Thanks for the presents. From Hillcrest to Seacrest. Everybody have a great week. We love you.