The Mikey Show - Rock 105.3 - 03/06/08

0:27Welcome to the program. It is 6.03. It's been announced that Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Carl Edwards was penalized 100 points for a rule infraction. He went from being in first place to 7. Welcome to the program. What is today? Today is Thursday. We got today and tomorrow and then we're ready for the weekend. It seems like it went by kind of fast. And we're very stoked today because our good friend Craig Gass is going to be sitting in the studio with us. What an honor. Today and tomorrow. That's right. I'm here. I'm going to be ridiculed because I'm going to keep pushing as, you know, in Congress. Sometimes people try to push.

1:15You know what's coming, right, Eddie? You know what's coming? I mean, the first thing out of his mouth, really? Well, he loves it. He loves it. I'm going to attempt to do Hollywood Squares. Yes. You're not. Oh, my God. I told him, Eddie. I told him. I said, listen. Too complicated. I told him. I said, listen. This sounds so complicated. This is what I told him last night. I said, Craig, if you put the work, if you do the work, we'll give it a shot. At some point in the show, we'll try it. If you do the work. And he says, oh, dude, I'm telling you, it's not very hard at all. And I said, oh, okay. Now, we're going through the process. I said, now, part of my challenge is I've never seen Hollywood Squares. And that's, yeah. I think that's why it sounds like it might be too. Well, I mean, so Hollywood Squares is a very visual game. You got to be able to look and see where people are. Yep. But Craig says there's a way around that. Okay. There's a way around it. How's that? He's going to draw us on a piece of paper. And then you call it out. You go, all right, we got the Hollywood squares. And from the top row, we've got from left to right, middle row, left to right. The center square will be occupied by a couple of guys, like a famous pair. I've already lost. No, wait a minute. The challenge for the listener will be, okay, I remember where they are. I know where nine people are sitting.

2:42Well, you tell them. You say, listen, the board's open or this guy's about to... It's not going to happen. We're going to try it. We're going to try it. I want to. I think it sounds fun. I want to hear what this is going to sound like. Maybe the bottom line is, hey, listen, it's not about really who's winning tic-tac-toe. It's more about... The theater of the mind. The theater of the mind of hearing the different people. So, we'll see. Now. No one will even care. We'll have 10 celebrities here. Exactly. They're not going to care, really, who is winning. Although, he did say that we're going to have two P1s. One's going to be X. One's going to be O. And so, in that regard, somebody will want to win. Somebody will want to win. Now. And then you win tickets. Now, the challenge for them will be, how do I know where everybody is? But you're saying, I'll describe it. I'll say, this is where they are. All right. Okay. We're going to try. He says he's done it once and it's worked. Who cares? It goes good. All right. Trust Craig. I trust Craig. It's you. We're going to give it a shot. Sky does not. Sky goes on record saying I do not. Let's see. Let's introduce everybody and then let's get this sucker rolling. First of all, Craig Gass is a comedian and he is a very, very funny guy and a guy does more voices than anybody I've ever heard. I mean, seriously. How many people he fooled yesterday?

4:08Did you realize? I was actually in the studio. I was here and I talked about it last night at my meeting. I went to a great meeting last night. It's anonymous. Met a guy that works at SeaWorld named Jeff. No, no, no. He's got a lot of years behind him. Don't say his name. Don't say his name because that's the point. No, no, but he's a good guy. I have a sponsor that was at the meeting. Definitely don't talk about him. His name's Steve. He works in Orange County. He's probably not even listening. Don't do it. Don't do it, Tom. But Steve had a real bad problem with heroin. Tom! Definitely don't say that. Don't say that. So, here's the deal. We got so many emails from people that asked actually thought that Tom Arnold, Adam Sandler, Christopher Walken, and Tracy Morgan were actually in the studio yesterday. Well, I saw a picture of it. Yes, there is in fact. Did we get that picture on MikeShow.com? Do we know if that's on there or no? Did anyone tell Sean? I don't know if Sean got the picture himself. Was it sent to all of us? Yeah, Sean was on the email. Uh,

5:25Shawnee, did you happen to see the Photoshop picture of all the celebrities in the studio? Photoshop? Well, yeah, not Photoshop. Who is it from? Popcorn Chimp? P1 Popcorn Chimp. Check it out. We'll see if we can get it up there. It's pretty funny. I'm not seeing anything. I'll find it. I think Tom Arnold was believable because he was desperate. Yes, that's right. That is correct. That and he, you know, was wearing a t-shirt underneath his polo. Five months. So let me introduce everybody. My name is Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 37 years old and I was born in Guam, which is a kind of interesting thing. It's true. And for the first 12 years of my life, I celebrated my birthday on the 30th of May. Then my mom found my birth certificate, realized actually the 31st you were born.

6:15I mean, it happens. It happens. When you're born in foreign lands. Foreign lands. You know, with the time difference and things like that. I mean, it's confusing. There's a delay. There is. And so she was delayed. Probably written in Guam. Yeah, that's right. Which is confusing. You know, we work on an eight-second delay, and my mom was working on a 12-year delay. That's the deal. Listen, I'm not going to feel sorry for myself. No, you let it go. So, you know, I let it go. It's like you got extra birthdays. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's kind of like... That's right. Jewish kids go, Jewish kids say, hey, listen, I don't feel like I'm missing Christmas because I get to celebrate Hanukkah. It's a different present every night. And it's kind of the same, you know. Only different because, you know, you don't get the... But more tragic. Tragic because you don't get the present on the night before. Excuse me, you get the present on the 31st. You have a birthday eve now. Yep. You're lucky. Most kids only have one birthday. That's pretty cool. You have a ghost of Christmas past. Or birthday past. Ghost of birthday present. It's like those two ghosts are very different in personality, aren't they? Aren't they now? Well, thank you. So, anyway, I am Mikey. My writing class today. Nice.

7:44It is at a senior center here in San Diego County. Cute. So I will get to see my friends, Dorothy. I will get to see my friends, Dorothy Jan. And, you know, the oldest person in there is 92 years old. Holy moly. Oh, wow. Still kicking. That's right. Good writers, too. Like, it blows me away. They really are good writers. And it's fun. I never thought, like, it's weird how God puts you in these situations. You go, I... First day in there, I thought, I don't know how long this is going to last. Then all of a sudden, I'm really caring about these 78-year-old. It's been a neat experience for me. Eddie is our producer, our sports guy. He's 34 years old. And the guy, what can I tell you? He likes video games. He's good at them. How's that computer coming along? So awesome. It's like overkill.

8:42Oh, wow. Like, my computer's so crazy, you know, it's like, I don't know what I'm going to do with it. Like, I need to start gaming on the computer because that's kind of what it's meant for, you know? It's lightning fast, right? Yeah, it's ridiculous just for internet and email. Like, it's overkill. Wow. How does your wife like it? She loves it. I mean, it's great, you know, because every morning, you know, she would try to log on. It'd be impossible, you know? Do you organize pictures or no? On your computer. This, with Windows Vista, it organizes everything for you. Yeah. Pictures, your documents, music, everything. It's really incredible. That's cool. Yeah. That's cool. It's really good. Sky is our news girl. Hi. She's 30, and she's very pretty, and she's got curly hair. Thank you. And she is what they call Anglo. A little bit. She's Irish. She's got freckles. That's right. That's right, Tracy Morgan. She does have freckles, and he thinks that's kind of attractive. Hi, Tracy. Have you always been into girls with freckles, Tracy? I like it. I think it's sexy. It's cool, too, because you probably grew up in a neighborhood where there wasn't a lot of white girls with freckles, so it's kind of cool. Unless they were albinos. Albino black chicks. Sometimes they have freckles. That's actually what Sky is. She's an albino black chick. Albino black chick. If you don't believe me, watch her dance.

10:07That's right. You got a nice chunk of chunk. That's crazy. Ashley, you have like, how much African-American is in your bloodline? 0.1%. 0.1%. It's genetic. It's genetic. Connect your dots. That's right. Sean's our sound effects guy. He's 37 years of age. Very tall. Very tall. And they fixed the air conditioning in his studio, and really, that's the main thing I can tell you about him. And then, like, I went in there to adjust it this morning, and they put one of those plastic things over it, so now I can't get to the control. Oh, no. So I went to my desk, and I got a screwdriver, and I jammed it in there, and I was able to work the buttons. That's that guy. What are you doing? Now, did you lower the temperature? I sure did, Mike. It's 66 degrees. Hello, how are you? Oh, dude. Nice, yeah. A little toasty, but... Oh, man. Screw engineering. I hate all you guys. Whoa, Sean. Ashley is our assistant producer. She is a young woman. She's 24 years of age, and a good friend of hers just returned from overseas. And how is the friend? How is everything going with your friend? Fantastic. Yeah? Yeah, well, our two-month...

11:25Is this Saturday night. You're two months. What's that? Two months what? Since our first date. Oh. Two months. What does that mean? You're two months since our first date? Since our first blind date. What does that mean? Our two months since our first. Anniversary. It's an anniversary. Oh, it's an anniversary. Yeah. Our friends don't have anniversaries. Well, but then he told me yesterday, he was like. Craig doesn't know the story. You see, Craig. Oh. Ashley has gone on some dates with this man. Gentleman caller. Two months worth. Well, yeah, dude. I mean, they're constantly together. She says that he is the love of her life. Yes. But they are not boyfriend and girlfriend. I asked her that a lot when I was starting to see that they clearly were.

12:10in my opinion. But she said, stop saying that. We were exclusive. You know, stop putting labels and we haven't had that talk. No need to rush. I said, okay, I won't do that anymore. And so now I refer to him as her good friend. He just went to Australia. And he just got back from Australia. But they're hooking up, right? Clearly. But, you know, they're friends. They're friends, though. They're friends. Yeah, he's my buddy. Is it her buddy? Partner in crime. Is boyfriend going to scare him away? No, no, no. Well, that's the thing. Can I finish my story? Oh, sure, sure, yeah. What I was going to say was yesterday, you know, he was like, yeah, well, I want to take you out for two months. And he's like, you know, I'm going to give you the heads up. We're probably going to be having the boyfriend-girlfriend talk this weekend, quote unquote. And I was like, okay, cool, I'm ready. It's like not even a big deal. deal. We're like not even really tripping about it. Oh, it's a giant deal. But it's like not a big deal. That's the thing. Get it? Do you get it now? Correct. Cool. So we're good. So Monday you might have a different term for him? Right. But we gotta wait. We gotta wait. We gotta wait for a talk that's gonna happen that's totally not like a big deal. It's totally not. Quote unquote a talk that isn't a big deal. Well, that's cool.

13:26Crossing my fingers. That's cool. For when that's going to happen. We all are. Yeah. That's horrible. That's right. It will be a lot like making the announcement for the P1 lunch. Right. The suspense is killing everyone. That's right. Let's see. Boston Rob is a good friend of ours. Every time I say his name when we introduce each morning, he gets a big smile on his face. And he is a guy that, and I'm not kidding you. He brings happiness to your life. It's impossible. If you knew Boston Rob, it's impossible for him to not bring happiness to your life. He's a happy guy, and he just adds that quality to your life. It's impossible. That's right. Him and Eddie were messing around in that office yesterday. It was making me laugh. We were? Yeah, you guys, I don't know that you guys even realize when you're in the middle of stuff that's pretty funny. What were we doing? You were calling him names and he was calling you names. And it sounded like two seven-year-old boys. I don't even remember. We do it so often that we just get into it. Yeah. I think at one point Eddie called you fag face or something similar. I don't remember saying that. And I don't remember what you guys were arguing about.

14:51Probably something very dumb. It was. I remember making a mental note that it was really ridiculous. He was annoying me yesterday when he was playing with a lot of stuff that the Border Patrol brought us. Was that it? I think that was probably what it was. I think that might have been it. He was making me mad. You guys were standing behind me and there might have been some slapping and wrestling going on or something. That's every day. Anything new going on with you, Rob? Nah, nothing really. Same old stuff? Yeah. You got a date for the wedding? You're getting married? Oh, dude. No date? No, no, no. We had a date, November 8th. But to get it all set up and like money situation and everything like that, we might have to push it to the spring or who knows, maybe just disappear one weekend and go to Vegas or I don't know. Do it! Yeah. Like... Why not? We've had a few different talks about it because we both want to do like a legit big wedding. Or not big, but you know. Traditional. Yeah, traditional. Yeah. But you know, the wedding... Blue and freckles. Blue and freckles. We low maintenance. You gotta remember, the wedding, it's a ceremony. That's the ceremony part, you know? That's the representation. The actual legal part, eh, you know, do that. Whatever. But other than that, everything's good. Except for our TV time. She watches weird stuff, man. Project Runway. Talk about it.

16:16America's Next Top Model. Oh, yeah. I have to, like, watch it now. Eddie, Sky, Sean, you guys have issues with the spouses and their shows that are real different from yours? No, I pretty much control the TV on my house. Oh, yeah, bro. Nice. Lucky. Sky? Yeah, we have a couple different shows, and our compromise is that we TiVo those shows and watch them in our own time. There you go. Yeah. There you go. What are the shows that he watches that you can't stand? This Old House, Rock Solid, a lot of these HGTV remodeling shows, and He Doesn't Care for My Medium, Ghost Whisperer, stuff like that. He's out on that. And then finally on the show, we have Zeth. He is 22. He's respectful to the media. Is your mic on? Is it? Yeah, there you go. He's a good kid. He's respectful to the media. He's respectful to the public. And he's a good kid. That's right. Great guy. He's 40. And he comes home crying to his mom. Is that anything new going on with you? Not really. Spending a lot of time with that girl. Yeah, how's it going? Going really well. How old is she? 21, you said? 21. She'll be 22 fairly soon. I think Saturday.

17:40Cool. You on birth control or are you sticking with confidence? You guys share a mic, so I got to turn one off to talk to the other. Ah, fancy. So you... Fancy. So, Seth, you guys, everything's going well. Yeah. We get to meet her pretty soon? Yeah. You guys will meet her next week, actually. At the poker thing? No. At the birthday dinner that you're not invited to. Oh, yeah. Is that his birthday dinner? Yes. I'm not kidding. I haven't been invited to a birthday dinner. No, there hasn't been an invite. There's just been informal talks about locations. Is he going to invite people to a dinner? I hope so. Rumor has it. Zeth, what is the date? Thursday, which is the 13th. Okay. Does that work for you, Mike? No, I don't know, man. I'm telling you, dude. It's writing class on Thursdays. That's the day. I gotta, listen. Well, we were gonna go to Del Taco around 1.30. Oh, well, Rob. What? I'm telling you, man. I got like, I got like, now I have to keep calendars. I actually have calendars. Ugh. So that I know what's going on. I get stuff every day now. You've got the weirdest schedule, too. Because don't you go to bed at like 7? Yeah. Can you go to bed at like 2? I go to bed between 6 and 7. I'm good next Thursday. Yippee! Hey, alright. Thanks for having me.

19:04I'm good next Thursday. Applebee's. That's right. Intamecula. Intamecula. Okay. That's a good one. Yes. 5701053 is our phone number at the beginning and end of every show. You can call us, open phone segment, and yeah, give us a call, and it's whatever you want to talk about. We'll give you the latest on what's happening, but we love to talk to you about any number of things that you want to bring up to us. Don't forget, we are doing a P1 lunch. What up? Yeah, because we want to hang out with listeners and we want to meet with you and stuff and just get together and hang. And so we have decided we're going to do this and it's going to be not tomorrow, but the next Friday. So one week from tomorrow. March 14th, this is where we're doing it. Joe's Crab Shack right here in Mission Valley. And Ashley used to work there. Check this out. What? Joe's Crab Shack, I worked there for, like, two and a half years, right? I opened the one in downtown behind the convention center. All right. And my manager was Ricardo, and he was the best manager. I mean, I've worked in, you know, a million jobs in, like, restaurants all over. Best manager I've ever had in my life. Check this out. He is the manager at the Mission Valley Joe's Crab Shack. I have not seen this guy in, like, four years. Really? Holy cow. I can't wait. I can't putt leave it. There you go. It's so nuts.

20:22Everyone come out to watch that reunion. Yes, this reunion is going to be the reunion of all reunions. I've actually been running into Ricardo every Tuesday night at the Orlando Club. Tom Arnold. Tom, you don't want to say that he was any of that. That's probably a different Ricardo. I'm sure it's a different Ricardo. It could have been. Well, you're not supposed to talk about him either. It's anonymous. He actually shared the other night about him. No, no, no. No, no, Tom. He did not say what he shared about. It's supposed to be anonymous. That's Tom Arnold hanging out in the studio. So here's what we got. We're going to be at Joe's, Mission Valley, and we're going to be there from noon to one. It's next Friday. And when you go in there, you can meet us, hang out. If you feel like eating, you can do like a fixed menu or you can order right off their menu, not eat anything at all. It's totally up to you. But the cool thing is, is that we're just going to be kind of hanging out. Yeah. We just get to talk to everybody, which is what we really want to do. And so it should be pretty good. We may take the party next door to Barnes & Noble afterwards. Whatever, you know, the night may lead us. That's probably what happens on a normal Friday or Saturday night.

21:40People partied up at shows. Yeah. And they're like, hey, man, you guys want to go to Borders? Yeah, no, Borders are normal. Borders are normal. You guys want to go to BNN? Don't confuse people. P1 Granulator, are you there? Hey, Mikey, good morning. What's up? Hey, man, I don't mean to rehash, you know, old feelings or anything, but my family did the same thing that they did to you about, you know, making up my birthday. Here we go. I was born on the 27th, and my great-grandma was born on the 28th. of August. So, basically, my family thought my birthday was on the 28th for years. What happened? Basically, same thing. A few years later, I was enrolling for school and they found my birth certificate. And the whole family thought it was hysterical. It was, you know, just real, real funny. Yeah. Oh, yes, I did. It's a lot of self-worth. Yeah, it does. It does a lot, you know, makes you feel like, wow, you know, I'm certainly important to this world.

22:40You know, and so, you know, that's truly, I can't, it's indescribable. But, you know, me and Granulator, we can both describe it. Yeah, man. Well, thank you, Granulator. I appreciate that. Have a good day, guys. All right, thank you. P1 Judy is on the line. Hi, Judy. Hi. How you doing? I heard on another Clear Channel station yesterday, they were doing a thing for children. I was wondering, did they leave the Mikey Show out again? You know what, so let me explain this Radiothon thing. Just get it off your chest, buddy. I'm going to try. I'm going to try, Tom. Children's Hospital, we all know that we love Children's Hospital here at the Mikey Show. Now, I was approached about this and they said, do you want to set up out there or what do you want to do? And I said, well, you know, in years past, we've kind of had a strange relationship with that radiothon, either not being invited or

23:44Being invited sort of at the last minute and we want to give our best to this thing and really lend our support. And so I said, what I want to do this year is I want to support it from here where we're talking a lot about it. I said, I think that if we set up out there, it's not the right environment for us to do the best that we can. Because remember I talked about this, that when we do those live broadcasts, especially since we just did one, It's pretty distracting. And I felt like we can do a much better job doing it from here. And so they said, do you want to talk to some of the kids? And I said, yes, those stories are inspirational. They really touch your heart. Never heard from them. And now I'm telling you, this was management here at Clear Channel. This wasn't children's. This was, you know, management here. Do you want to talk to kids? Do you want to do stuff? Yes, yes, yes. Never heard another word. So Skye says to me earlier this morning, hey, what's going on? And I go, what do you mean? She goes, well, they're doing the radiothon out there. And I'm like, what? Yeah, because we were expecting, hey, when it's time for it to start, they'll get us all the information and we'll support it from here in our studio. Next thing you know, it's already going on and nobody has sent us any information, set up anything so we can help and participate. Now, I'm telling you, I'm not.

25:13I'm not trying to be, oh, you know, we don't, nobody cares. Listen, it's not that. It's like, hey, throw me a bone here. Send me the info. Give me the stuff. Send me the link. Yes, send me the link. Right? I had no information. So as soon as we get information, we're going to start really getting the information out there, which was the plan. That's what we want to do. We want to raise money. I would love to talk to some kids whose lives have been improved through the children's deal. So anyway, I just want to let listeners know, if you're wondering, that's the deal. P1 Ben, what's up? Hey, what's up? I got a little suggestion for Eddie for his gaming computer. Sweet. There's kind of a new game out. It's called Crisis. It's a first-person shooter. So if you want to get into gaming, it's one of the best games you can get right now. Eddie, what are you into?

26:13playing video games? What's your favorite thing? It depends. I don't really play video games on my computer. I have a PS3 and that's normally where I play. Those vary. I'll play sports games. I'll play RPGs. That's cool. What does RPG stand for? Role playing games. Oh, like Sean stuff? Like an Assassin's Creed. Like you put on a costume and pretend you're like a panda. Do you do that? You put on a panda suit? No, you guys are confused. Wait a minute. I had no idea. It's okay. I'll address the question. Yeah, yeah. Eddie, please, please. What basically it is is, you know, like, you know how I told you I was playing that game Assassin's Creed? Right, right. But, like, you're the assassin. Right. So that's the role you're playing. Okay, I was kind of thinking what Sky was thinking. I thought it was a deal where in the game... No, this is not, like, gay pervert stuff. Okay, okay, gotcha. That's what Sean's into. Shut up, Sean!

27:18Sean was what they call a furry. He would put on like a mascot uniform. I never put on a mask. A mascot. A mascot outfit. It was like you're a mascot. It wasn't a mascot outfit. It wasn't, he says. It was better than that. It was better. It was better built, you know, better built, you know, right? Yeah. Can we move on? It was like a panda outfit. Two things he would do. Panda and beaver he would dress as. Like a fetish thing? Yeah, a very gay fetish thing. Better question for Sean, Craig. Better question for Sean. Sean? No. It was more of an alternative lifestyle, Craig. No, it wasn't that either, ass. Sean, tell me. Sean, what was it, this thing, that the dressing as the panda and going to, like, raves or whatever it was that you... At chins? No, no, no. What was it? It was a thing where, you know, like-minded people dressed like...

28:16stuff. Just like any convention, you know, they're like... Furry erotic? Craig, if you want to know any more, you can just check him out at furverts.com. Read his blog. I think his screen name was Poopsie Panda. Whoa. Yeah, I think that is true. I think it was, in fact, Poopsie Panda. So... Craig Gas Theater on the show today. Oh, yes. For those of you that are unfamiliar with the work of Mr. Craig Gas, the guy does the best voices I've ever heard in my life. And what he is going to be doing today in Craig Gas Theater is two movies. What Craig Gas Theater is, we take a couple of movies and we say, what if the role of so-and-so wasn't played by so-and-so, but it was played by one of Craig's voices? Mm-hmm.

29:16So the two movies today are going to be No Country for Old Men and Transformers. And we'll tell you a little bit later on who the voices are going to be for that. But Craig is sitting in with us the entire show. And I figured out a way to get Christopher Walken involved in the comedy show. There's going to be a pretty big production at 4th and B. And Christopher Walken will be part of the opening of the show at 4th and B on Saturday night. There you go. How do people get tickets if they want them? They have to go to Ticketmaster. Ticketmaster or call 4th & B at 231-4343. Now, I want to let people know that this is a show that is not for the easily offended. My comedy show. That's right. His comedy show, Craig's comedy show, is not for the easily offended. Yeah. So, Scott, I want to put that out there. In other words, it's funny. Wow. Okay, and then what else we got today? We are going to be...

30:15Giving you some details on the Eddie vs. B-Rob challenge, the next challenge that we're doing. We're giving you details, and it's coming up. Like, we're going to do it next week. We're also doing something today called Tough Love with Eddie. Yeah. For you, Scott. Maybe you've heard of that. I say no thank you. I care about you. Well, thank you, but no thank you. And Stephen writes in the stand-up spotlight. Mikey Show stand-up spotlight. Sponges grow in the ocean. That kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. I have a Ouija surfboard. Woke up this morning, I was folding my bed back into a couch. I almost broke both my arms because it's not one of those kind of beds. 24-hour banking? I don't have time for that. So I was driving my car around, decided to hook my brake lights up to my gas pedal. Just to confuse the people behind me. I hit the gas and the brake lights go on, they stop and I'm gone.

31:54Hey, let me tell you something. If you are a young guy and you are looking for an amazing career, yesterday I met with the U.S. Border Patrol and talked to them about a lot of cool stuff. No day working for the Border Patrol is the same. One day it could be you're doing a big drug bust. The next day it could be that you're finding illegals that are entering the country illegally. The next day, it could be infrared camera operation. This is a very exciting field, and we would love to see you get involved. It's very easy to do. I'm going to give you a website that you can go to that will teach you about how you can be in an academy before you know it and make, within three years, $70,000 a year. Does that sound good? If it does, I want to send you to borderpatrol.gov. That's borderpatrol.gov. From Rogue Pictures and the director of The Descent, March 14th. There's no system, rules, no backup. If there's such a thing as hell on Earth, that's it. Never imagined it's insane. Beauty, that's just for starters. You think? For strong bloody violence, language and some sexual content and nudity, under 17 not admitted without parent. In theaters Friday, March 14th.

33:57I'm a mother. It's my nature to protect my daughter. So when she told me she wanted to join the Guard, my gut reaction was to worry for her safety. But I've always trusted my son and supported his decisions. So as hard as it was to imagine my son being a soldier, it was harder to imagine his future without the Guard. The Guard will give her money for college, yield world job skills, and I'm proud of it. Your son or daughter can serve your community in the National Guard. Call 1-800-GO-GARD and ask about the job skills they'll gain. Sponsored by the California National Guard. Aired by the California Broadcasters Association and this station. Thinking about getting your hands on some new musical gear? Well, Guitar Center's got 31 reasons to come in this weekend and play. Reason 1. The annual green tag sale is going on now. Every green tag means savings of 20% and more off our everyday low price. Reason 10, special 12-month no payment, no interest financing. Reason 31, and maybe the best reason of all. The gear's set up and you can play all you want. Guitar Center, we help people make music. Something smells a little fishy about that used car you're buying. It may have been damaged in a flood.

35:03They may be rotting from the inside out, and they're just not safe. Ask your dealer for a free Carfax vehicle history report, or go to Carfax.com. Now through March 8th at Office Depot, enroll in Work Life Rewards and get $10 back in rewards on your first in-store purchase of $50. Excludes HP ink and toner. Rewards are paid quarterly as an Office Depot reward card when you earn $10. Visit MyWorthLifeRewards.com for details. 5-3 Traffic. Right. So far, we're looking at a pretty typical ride out here. No major problems. You will find the backup developing out of Escondido, though, in the South 15 as you come off to 78. Off and on down towards Felicita, a little bit via Rancho Parkway. This coaster route, South on 5, is starting to see some reduced speeds developing as well out of Lucadia now down towards Manchester. Westbound 52, watch for a bit of a backup developing just past Mass Boulevard coming out of Santee. West 8, though, you're pretty much good to go into the valley out of the East County. The westbound 94 also cooperating. Just a brief slowdown as you make that right-hand turn onto the 805 north. And coming up out of the South Bay, the 805 itself is looking okay. A little bit bunched up in here through North Park. Then again, out of Kearney Mesa with a 52. Northbound 5, a little bit slower, pushing that 54 South Bay Freeway up through National City on that one. I'm Rick Lawrence on Rock 105.3. Sky, what do you think the main reason is why people moved to San Diego?

36:25Oh, dude, no doubt. The beautiful weather we have here. The weather. Everybody always says it. It's the weather. Of course. And so if you're rocking in San Diego, you got to have a styling pair of sunglasses. Uh-huh. And we highly recommend sunglasses and optical wear. Oh, yeah. Sunglass and optical warehouse. They have such a great selection. They have over 7,000 styles for you to choose from. I mean, it really is like a warehouse when you go there. It is. And they want to hook up P1s, too. So if you go in there, say you're P1s, say you're a Mikey Show listener, they'll give you an additional... 10% off their already low, low prices. Yeah, they guarantee the lowest prices in town and then put 10% off on top of that. It's a no-brainer. You got to check out Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. They got three San Diego locations. They have one in the Sports Arena area on Kurt Street. They have one on the intersection of Balboa and Convoy and Kearney Mesa and one in the La Jolla Village Shopping Center between Starbucks and Trader Joe's. So for all the details, check out their website, sunglassoptical.com.

37:25Featuring a visit from the many, many voices of Craig Gass. Oh, it's Christopher Walken has just joined us. All right, and so here's what we're going to do. Let him use a mic. Stop yelling. No, I'm just saying, if you call 4th and B today, we're all going to 4th and B Saturday night. We would like all of us, you know. This is embarrassing. It's embarrassing. Chris, to open the show, you guys heard him. Please let him talk. Yes, we dare him. We'd like to hear some more. Update your Wikipedia page. I'm just saying. Yeah, Wikipedia. No! Update it yourself, Tom. You put it on there yourself, Tom. Mikey's show continues. Rock 105.3. 641. There was an explosion early this morning in front of a military recruiting station in Times Square. The Patriots re-signed another one of their wide receivers, re-signing Jabbar Gaffney. For goodness sake. I love you, Jabbar. You can keep wearing your gaffney. I ain't got a gaffney. You don't have a gaffney? Oh, you can go get one now. That's right. Welcome back to the show. Craig Gass is in the studio with us. A little Craig Gass theater is coming up next hour. Craig's been staying with us at the house. And we were talking, dude, at some point, I really want to hear the story about, in fact, let's talk about it a little bit. I really want to hear the story because Craig said to us yesterday, he goes,

39:14have I ever told you this story about how I thought I had cancer? And I go, what do you mean? He goes, no, I diagnosed myself. So tell the story. What happened? I thought I had told you this story before. Craig's a comedian. For those of you that are just tuning in, you're like, who's Craig? Craig is a good friend of ours, but you've seen him on TV. I mean, he used to do, Craig has done work on the Howard Stern show where you were on the show for a while, right? They actually, when Jackie the Jokeman quit, they had me auditioning for the gig. And at the end, it came down to me and Artie. Artie got the job. I started getting offered a bunch of acting roles. And I still have an open-door policy over this third show. Craig was on Sex and the City. He was on that TV show. What was the one that you just did where it was people... They play the Sex and the City like once in a... Once a week now. I was Miranda's Weight Watchers boyfriend. Yeah, you were. I get emails about it. What's up, Donuts? I always get lucky that I get really dirty roles on TV. Oh, and it'll be a couple months from now before it comes out. I just taped my first celebrity roast. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Who was it? We roasted Gene Simmons. Nice. And it's Jeff Ross, Jim Norton, Lisa Lampanelli, me, Andrew Dice Clay, Carrot Top. I'll tell you more about that later. Yeah.

40:29You're thinking of the next best thing. Next best thing. He was on there doing Al Pacino. That was a show on NBC. And so you've seen Craig in a lot of stuff. We had a guy call yesterday and say, hey, man, I love Craig Gass. Was he going to have like an HBO special or anything like that? And I said, Craig's doing so much stuff. You never know. Like he could be on any given thing at any given time. A lot of things are actually going to happen this summer after that roast comes out. The roasts apparently are a huge deal for comedians. So I thought I told you the story. I self-diagnosed myself with having colon cancer. I was watching 60 Minutes. I would love to have been there for the examination process. All right, Craig, this is going to pinch myself a little bit. Hey, buddy, I'm glad we're friends. It's hard standing on top of your bathroom counter. Okay, I gotcha, I gotcha. All right, so I think every guy has done that once. What? Well, not every guy. There's like four here on the show that happened, but you know. So here's what happened. I watched 60 Minutes. Yeah. And they had a special about how there's a huge spike in colon cancer in America. And at some point in the middle of this,

41:52they talked about some of the symptoms. You live in New York when you're watching this? Yeah, I'm living in New York. And the girl that I'm living with, by the time she comes home, it's over, it's done, because I had one symptom. And the one symptom was an embarrassing symptom. Can you even say it on the air? Yes. Write it down. Are you sure? Yes. Okay. There was blood sometimes. Yeah. When I went to the bathroom. Yeah. And I thought that I was dying. I had been thinking for a long time that I was dying, because that's just not normal. Right. And I thought, why is, and it's something that I found out later that a lot of people don't go to the doctor about because it's such an embarrassing thing. Oh, well, can I tell you just a real quick introduction or interjection? Probably eight years ago, that happened to me and I told my dad and my dad goes, oh yeah, that used to happen to me every once in a while. Don't worry about it. It's fine. It just happens. Yeah. And it went away and it was just like my dad said, it went away. So I never worried about it ever again. Well, I freaked out, and when I saw them say on 60 Minutes, this is a sign that you have colon cancer, is there's blood. And I thought, wow, I knew it. We got a cleaner! So my girlfriend that I'm dating at the time, she comes home, and I go, honey, we got to talk. And she said, what? I said, I need you to sit down. And she sits down, and I tell her, without any kind of warning, I just said,

43:17I'm dying of cancer. And she said, what? And she goes, what? And I go, I'm dying of... And she said, you have cancer. I said, I have colon cancer. And I'm dying. And she goes, how do you know? And I said, well, I'm bleeding. And I was watching 60 Minutes. And they said, this is one of the biggest signs. And I got it. So you're laying this heavy... She's crying. Then I start crying. So you're sitting there together crying in each other's arms. Yeah. This is it. This is it. And I'm dying. And you need to know that we need to make plans. Because I'm dying. And I'm calling cancer. And I love you. And I'm sorry. I've known about this for a long time. I never went to go see a doctor. And then it wasn't until I saw the 60 Minutes thing that I knew it was over. Now, what about this? When you were seeing on the 60 Minutes thing, maybe other symptoms that you didn't necessarily have. I didn't have the other ones, but I had this. But this one, you're like, hey, that's a clear-cut sign that I knew that something was seriously, seriously wrong with me.

44:32And maybe I didn't see other signs, but all of a sudden there's blood and I'm just, I'm dying and this is, you know, there's no turning back. I'm falling apart on the inside. How old were you? I was 27. Oh. Oh my God. He was 27 years old. She says, have you seen a doctor? And I said, no, I don't need to see a doctor. I got this one. I got Morley Safer. I don't need a doctor. You're like, no, but I taped it. If you want a second opinion, I taped it. And if you want a second opinion, we can watch Andy Rooney at the end. He said, you ever notice? She said, she has colon cancer. Wow, man. Have you seen a doctor? No, I don't need to see a doctor. She said, well, will you see one? Will you please see one? And I call a friend of mine, and a friend of mine who knows a little more information says, you know, if you catch this early enough, you can survive this. Sure. There's hope. And there's hope. And I said, maybe I should. Maybe I should see somebody. There's a little hope there. So I call a doctor. This is the other half of the story, which was profoundly embarrassing. I go to, I set up an appointment with a doctor. I see this guy and he says,

45:48So why are you here today? And I said, well, I got some really bad news. I've got colon cancer. And he said, you do? And I said, yeah. And he goes, how do you know? And I said, I was watching 60 Minutes. And, well, you know, one of the leading symptoms that you get, I got. And I said, what's that? And I said, well, I have blood. Yeah. And when I go to the bathroom, and he said, okay, okay. And I said, and what else do you have? And I said, Well, that's it. I mean, that's pretty extreme. And he said, okay. He starts asking me questions about my diet. And I go, and I'm talking about my diet. I go, I don't know what that has to do with anything. But I'll answer your questions. Yes, I eat pieces of glass. Something I didn't even expect to happen. He says, well, I'm going to need you to take off your clothes. Or just take off your pants. Right, right, right. And get on this table. Uh-huh. On all fours. Right. And I thought, oh, well, do, I mean, do we have to do... Do you have to put on a panda suit when this is going on? Oh, no. That was obviously ridiculous. Sean, Sean. Sean, that was ridiculous. I take it back, you know what I mean? So I... You're a horse's ass.

47:10I take off my pants and he says, take off your underwear. He's coaching me along and I'm kind of embarrassed. And I have to get on all fours. And here's the thing is I was wearing a really long shirt that day and he said, can you hike up your shirt? And so I'm sitting there and I hear the unmistakable sound of a glove snapping on his hand. And then... Yeah, be careful here. Why don't you say... He examined you. There was an examination. That's it. No, no, no. Don't say that. Good friends. And so he says, all right, get your clothes back on. I'll be back in a minute. So I have this embarrassment. Now I'm alone. Something awful has just happened to me. In the fetal position. And I got my clothes back on. And then the doctor comes in and says, you got hemorrhoids. I go... I go, what? I go, I'm sorry. He goes, you have hemorrhoids. And he goes, you know what? He goes, if you just eat like one apple a day, it'll go away. And I go, all right. The cancer go away. And he's telling me, he goes, yeah. And I go, all right. What about my colon cancer? And he said, Craig, you're 27.

48:34Because you don't have colon cancer. You have hemorrhoids. And I go, wow. Good thing you didn't watch that. Really? And I go, I want something. I want something, though. I want that at least what I have is like a precursor to colon cancer or something. And he says, no, you're fine. You're fine. Just eat more fiber. You'll be fine. Can you imagine? Here's the worst part. I got to go back to my girlfriend. Oh, dude. And I have to tell her, all right, so. Wow, this is crazy. You know everything that I told you yesterday? You know, not only did I put you through that for nothing, but number two, I have hemorrhoids. And number three, I got a boyfriend now. I've got a guy who knows me in a way that you've never known. Every morning that people pick on Sky or Ashley or giving Eddie or Sean stuff. Every one of you are great. Thank you, man. The Mikey Show continues on The Rock. Finally. It's about time. George, today's your lucky day. You're the Prize Squad's lucky $10 million winner. Smile for the camera. I've been waiting a long time for this. So, George, what are you going to do with your $10 million? Yeah, can you guys move aside and make way for the Subway sandwiches? Subway sandwiches? What Subway sandwiches? Excuse me. Excuse me. Look out, please. Subway sandwiches coming through.

50:04But George, George, what about your $10 million prize check? Not now, guys. It's time for lunch. So, what are we going to do now? People can't wait to get their hands on a Subway tuna sandwich. And now you can enjoy it in a whole new way. Try it hot and fresh toasted with melted cheese for a delicious tuna melt. Pick up your tuna or tuna melt today. George, hello. We're not leaving until you accept the check. Not until I finish my Subway sandwich. George, hello. Subway, eat fresh for a limited time only at participating restaurants. Hey, check this out. Got this email. Mikey, I have felt like a part-time P1 until yesterday. I went to sleep train so that I could have a reference to compare used mattresses on Craigslist. I took my three-year-old in there, which is typically a bad idea because she doesn't have the ability to self-calm herself yet. I digress. But my point is that they made it so easy to figure out which mattress I wanted. that I ended up buying one at Sleep Train. I really wanted the Beautyrest world-class Paris plush, but it was out of my budget, which is why I felt I needed to buy a used one. The sales associate knocked off $1,213 and offered to deliver it today. We got this email. B-Rob, when did we get this? A couple days ago? Yeah, two days ago. Two days ago. That's awesome. Yeah, man.

51:35My wife, who is one month pregnant with our second child, will be pleasantly surprised tonight when she sleeps on our new Paris plush. She really deserves a good mattress to sleep on, and I can't wait to sleep on it with her. Signed, P1 Norfus. You want that to be your story? Sleep trains are everywhere. Check one out today. Another season is here, so REI has put together this handy list of ins and outs. Email jokes, out. Campfire stories, in. Self-help books, out. Kayaking your way to a better you, in. All-you-can-eat buffets, out. All-you-can-ride bike trails, in. At REI, the outdoors are in. And through March 30th, members can save 20% on one full-priced item. Exclusions apply. See store for details. Not a member yet? Just sign up at any REI. So stop in or visit REI.com. REI, out, is in. Join the nation's premier provider of intelligence. The Defense Intelligence Agency is hosting an invitation-only hiring event March 19th and 20th at the San Diego Marriott for positions in contracting, acquisition services, human intelligence collections, information technology, intel analysis and security, and investigations. Hiring managers will be on-site to conduct interviews and extend conditional offers of employment to qualified applicants for immediate and future positions worldwide. You must pre-register before midnight March 11th at

52:57EIA.mil. Hey, check this out. Did you know that a just-completed survey of AIS clients shows an average savings of $850 per year? Now, of course, prices vary depending on your needs, so it really pays to shop around, which is what AIS does for you. In fact, 92% of AIS clients renew year after year, which goes to show just how much money they're saving. Remember, AIS wants you as a customer for life. Hey, it's Mikey. Call AIS at 1-800-777-4AIS. Again, that's 1-800-777-4AIS. Get in the zone. AutoZone. AutoZone wants you to know when it comes to when you should change your oil. It's not how many miles you drive, it's how you drive. If you drive in stop-and-go traffic or make frequent short trips, your oil needs changing more often, ideally every 3,000 miles. Now at AutoZone, get five quarts of Castro motor oil and a Fram oil filter for just $13.99. Some restrictions apply. See store for details. Don't wait till it's too late. Get in the zone today. Get in the zone. AutoZone.

53:58It's the March Mayhem Sale this weekend at Fun Bike Center in Kearney Mesa. It's out of control. Nothing is off limits. With insane savings on all 07 Kawasaki ZX10s in stock. MSRP is $11,249. But not this weekend. It's just $87,99. Let the good times roll. Serious price destruction on everything Kawasaki. Free motocross demonstrations and daredevil stud riders. Go to FunBike.com for details. Save FBC big bucks this weekend at Fun Bike Center in Kearney Mesa. A friggin' big cycle store. Sale price excluded taxes and dot fees. That's right! You're exercising, you're sweating, and you're getting dehydrated. What do you reach for? Water? Water with vitamins. If you said anything other than Gatorade, listen up. When you sweat, you lose more than water. You shed electrolytes, nutrients, and you burn energy. That's why you need the optimal formula of Gatorade. Water for hydration, electrolytes to replenish your body, and the right carbohydrates to re-energize your workout. No water. No water with vitamins. No other sports drink on the planet replaces what exercise takes out better than Gatorade. Gatorade helps keep you going longer and stronger to help you the most out of your workout. Is it in you? McDonald's introduces new premium roast iced coffees, freshly brewed from rich, bold Arabica beans and regular vanilla or hazelnut. Just $1.89. New iced coffees all day, every day. Now back to Mikey. I love football so much.

55:45Eddie. I have a very strong sensitivity to smells. Skye. I smoked so much pot in high school those years. Sean. Pet Shop Boys, our favorite groups. Boston Rob. I wish I was smarter so I could fight this better. And Ashley. I am a very, very twitchy person, and I feel like it's because I have ADD. The Mikey Show is on 105.3. Welcome back to The Mikey Show. It is 7 o'clock. A judge ruled yesterday that Britney Spears' dad will retain control of her estate for another five months. We're going to hear from the gorgeous, rugged Brett Favre at a press conference today at 9 a.m. In just a second, we will be doing a little tone-deaf karaoke. So if you want to call in for that, 570-1053 is our phone number. That's where we have clips of Ashley singing. As you know, Ashley was on American Idol. And so we have clips of Ashley singing. And it is your job.

56:50to figure out what it is she's singing. So it's called Ton Deuf Karaoke. We'll do that. Craig Gass is sitting in the studio with us all day long. He's going to be in the studio with us. And Craig Gass Theater coming up next hour. Yeah, Shane. So what's the deal, Sky, with the explosion in Times Square? Well, there was an explosion this morning about 3.45 in the morning their time outside a military recruiting station in Times Square. Now, it caused minor damage. Nobody was hurt for a while after the explosion. You know, they closed off the whole area to pedestrians and cars. They even shut down the subway system for a while. Craig lives in New York City. Yeah, I know exactly where that's at, too. Anybody who goes to visit Times Square, you know the recruiting station's on the south end of... It's like an island on the south end of Times Square. People stand in front of the recruiting station to take pictures of the... It's very busy there. It's really busy. But at 3.45 in the morning, you do see some pretty interesting stuff in Times Square. Yeah, I bet. 3 o'clock in the morning. Did I ever tell you my favorite story, my favorite New York story? It's pretty brutal, but it was right in that intersection. There's a train station there. I saw three cop vans, NYPD vans. Yeah. All...

57:59pull up and they emptied out 10 cops a piece and they ran into the subway station and cops is my favorite show so I looked at my friend and I was like dude you want to go see what's going on and you got your metro card and we swiped we went downstairs what happened some guy had just jumped in front of a train and he took his own life and it had just happened because the train was still packed full of people all the lights were out in the cars and when we get down there we see this woman leaning out of the car out of the subway car and she goes Did he jump? Really? Did he jump or did somebody push him? Did somebody push him or did he jump? And some guy walked off the train and said, no, man, he jumped. And now we all going to be late. This sucks. And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. That is brutal. New York is a different place, man. Yes. So did anybody get hurt? No, nobody was hurt. And they say that they're looking for a bicyclist who was seen in the area wearing a hood on Al Qaeda on a bike. Oh, they go planes, bikes, whatever. They'll use whatever they can, man. We gotta be careful of those guys. Rickshaws. Whatever. Okay, so the army... The rickshaws. The army has sent out...

59:12has sent out an alert to all Army recruiting stations across the country just in case, you know, it's something. So we end up, like, messing up the description. We're like, I think he was wearing, like, a bamboo hat. Not really sure. I'm just trying. Here we go. 345 this morning when the single loud Big Bang explosion went off before Police Commissioner Ray Kelly displayed the ammo box he said had been used as a container for this explosive device, a low-order device. he called it. Mayor Bloomberg said that evidence and other evidence collected that scene is now being analyzed by the NYPD CSU unit and the anti-terrorist task force in the clinical all in an attempt to identify a suspect. There it is. Why don't we do a little bit of this then? How about some of this then? I think I like this. Tone deaf, tone deaf karaoke. Sounds like Ashley is choking. Earplugs, please can you loan me? She was on American Idol. Ten seconds and she was gone. That's just... Who changed that? Well, you know, Ashley was on American Idol. That's true. And so... Capitalized on that. It was more... It was like at least 15, 20. That wasn't very nice stuff.

1:00:36What we urge you to do right now is call in 570-1053. What is up for grabs today, Eddie? I think we got some more semi-pro tickets. Oh, nice. What is that? The Will Ferrell movie. Okay, the movie Semi-Pro Will Ferrell. You want to go see it? Call us 570-1053. P1 Nina, you there? Yes. You know how tone deaf works? Yes. All right, cool. Here's what I'm going to do. Good luck. Wait until the entire clip is done being played and then take your guess. I just need title or artist for you to win. You ready? Okay. Here we go. Ah, your tongue. Let me tell you. You gotta see the look on Ashley's face when the clip is playing. Because you look over at Ashley and she's got that look on her face like, right? Yeah. That's good stuff. That face goes... You're hearing this, right? Yeah, that's working, right? So all I need, Nina, is a title or artist for you to win. That's Khalees Milkshake. You got it. You got that right. Khalees. One percent. Seriously. And can't you see? I mean, doesn't it all kind of add up now? You left it all out there, girl. Right.

1:02:18Ashley left it all out there on the dance floor. I wish she would just leave it there. What does that even mean? Maybe take it and put it away. P1, Erica. Yes, I'm on the phone. That's right, you are on the phone. You are on the phone, girl. Eddie, you are live on the air. That's right. Craig, you do voices. I do. Yeah, you're on it. Erica. Sky, you are a girl. There you go. Thank you. Erica, I'm going to play you a clip. Let the whole clip play, then give me title or artist to win. You ready? Yeah, I'm ready. Here we go. Do you want Erica? I just need a title or artist to win. That is The Killers, Mr. Bright. I was going to say Placido Domingo. Yes. We're not supposed to play foreign language. Mama. I was going to say Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman. I was thinking Pig Destroyer. Morgan Freeman, do you ever sing songs like by The Killers or anything like that? Many times to pass the day. Do I? No, I'm asking Morgan Freeman, for goodness sake, Erica. Is that your name?

1:03:55Mr. Freeman, I apologize. Erica, you're on the phone. That's right. Remember? I always forget. That's right. She forgot she's on the phone. Remind yourself. Yes, go ahead, Mr. Morgan Freeman. In Shawshank, we did a lot of things. That's the time. Singing. Sometimes we just have straight up gay sex. Mr. Freeman. That is not true. Mr. Freeman is new to the show. Those boys got the best of Dufresne that night. Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Freeman. P1 Robbie is on the line. Robbie, are you there? Robbie. Oh, wait a minute. I have to press a button in order for Robbie to be there. I haven't pressed it yet, you guys. I haven't hit the button yet, guys. Should I hit it? Wait, he's not on the phone yet. He's not on the phone yet. He's not there yet. He'll be on the phone. Let me hit the phone. I would hit it. Key off! Key off! Wrap it up. Robbie? Time for that. What's up, dude? How you doing, man? Just chilling. All right, cool. You know how the game's played, right? You betcha. All right, here's your clip. Tell me what this is.

1:04:57Sky is confused. Sky's confused by that one. Like the first two, I knew immediately. I sound good. Yeah, you guys are on your own on that one. Yeah, no clue. I agree. Let's see. P1 Stelios, are you there? Yeah. All right, I'm going to play the same clip for you. Tell me if you do any better with this. Wow. So, Stelios, can you give me a title or artist? I don't think so. Yeah, I don't either. It's actually Beyonce, Crazy in Love is what that was. But I love that song. Well, yeah, but Scottie,

1:06:10I just kind of made it my own. Yes, she did. You didn't make it her own. That's maybe why it was. Yeah, that's why. Gave it her own indecipherable stamp. It's true. She did. That stamp is on there and it says, I don't know what you're saying. But that was Beyonce. Crazy in love. Let's see. Let's get P1 James Urban on the line. Bring it home. Not too much, dude. You ready to, we got the last one here. Are you ready? All right. All I need is a title of the song. or the artist singing it in order for you to win. Here we go. Is that the way we stand? That was for you, Eddie. He even illustrated it like it was a video. He held up his finger when you said the part about... Special dedication, Eddie, to you. James Urban, can you tell me a title or artist on that one? Oh, so easy. Not playing that one again. That was the Cranberries. Just beautiful. Indecipherable. Appreciate that. I'm going to take a quick time out, and when we come back...

1:08:07Craig Gas Theater. Now, here's what we have for Craig Gas Theater today. Craig will be doing two movies. He's going to be doing a little movie that we like to call Transformers. Oh, I've heard of it. He's going to be playing the role of Optimus Prime. One of the robots. Yeah, one of the robots. Now, for those of you maybe that have never seen Transformers or are not familiar with Optimus Prime, it doesn't matter because all I'm going to tell you is that... The role of Optimus Prime will be played by Sam Kennison. The late, great Sam Kennison! That's right. And then we're also going to do a scene from a movie that maybe you've seen and maybe you haven't seen. And that movie is No Country for Old Men. A little thing we like to call Best Picture of the Year. And so he's going to be playing the role of this guy, Chigurh. And he is the villain in the movie No Country for Old Men. He's the guy with the little poor boy haircut. Yeah. And so he's going to be doing a scene from that. Only instead of the actor Javier Bardin. Oh, yes. Who won the Best Supporting Actor role. Instead of him, Tracy Morgan will be playing the role. I think it makes more sense. That's right, Tracy Morgan. I'm a black dude. I'm black. Thank you. I mean, I'll stay this week. You guys are awesome.

1:09:32Appreciate it, bro. Thank you. I'm a P1 because of my girlfriend, Lynn, who turned me on the station. Now we got you guys on every morning. Home of the P1s and stuff like that. Rock me. Hey, it's Boston Rob and my favorite holiday, St. Patrick's Day, coming up. Did you know Smittix is Ireland's favorite ale? And to help spread the word in San Diego this St. Patrick's Day, they sent over one of their favorite sons, Barry. Now, here in the States, we might pronounce it Smith Wicks. Yes, it's like Smith X. So no W. So you're dropping the W. I can understand that. From Boston, we drop our R's. Now, can you tell me a couple things about Smittix? Well, it's Ireland's favorite ale. It was first brewed in 1710. So this is the real deal. This is an authentic Irish ale, and it's pretty much what everyone in Ireland is going to be toasting this St. Patrick's Day, correct? That's correct. On St. Patrick's Day, people will just be going into bars and saying, hey. Can I have a pint of Smittix, please? Join us for a pint of Smittix in the gas lamp this Friday night. Barry and I will be taking pics to post on Rock 105.3's St. Paddy's Day webpage. Smittix, it's Ireland's favorite ale. Please drink responsibly. Starting to think about spring cleaning? Well, put up your feet and get up off the sofa, because Uncle Cal is revving up his vacuum with savings.

1:10:51Hey, how would you like to have a brand new 08 Dodge loaded, I mean loaded with everything you ever wanted, and get $6,000 cash back? Nothing dusty about that deal. Trade me that old car. Even if I owe money on it? I'll pay it off. Sweep it right out the door. And I'll send you home in a brand new 08 Dodge loaded and give you $6,000 cash. Sounds like one brand new spanking deal of a deal. Bring out that mop and let me hear it again. Trade that old car. I'll pay it off. I'll send you home with a brand new 08 Dodge to give you $6,000 cash. And you thought spring cleaning was something you were going to dread. Tell them where to go, cowboy. Now take order. Worthington Dodge, we're in the car country. Mall Lane, Carlsbad, Worthington Dodge, open to bid that. Cashback offer, $6,000 factory rebate, applies to new 08 Dodge Ram, $1,500 quad caps on approved credit. We're here at Sport Clips, the new just-for-guys haircutting place where all kinds of guys have turned out to see what the buzz is about. Hey, dude, how was it? I just got a perfect haircut with massaging, shampoo, and classic steam towel treatment. They get it right every time. Nice cut, nice price, professional stylist. Doesn't get any better than this. What'd you think about Sport Clips? Great experience. There's sports on TV at every chair. I got to watch a game. It's packed here today, but no worries. You never wait long at Sport Clips. This place rocks. And free neck trims between cuts? You kidding? I'll be back. Now, here's an MVP-looking guy. I got an awesome haircut, steam towel treatment, neck and shoulder massage. I win!

1:12:19What are you waiting for? Sport Clips is now in your neighborhood. At Sport Clips, guys really do win. At Sport Clips, we know how to cut guys' hair. Go to sportclips.com to find the Sport Clips nearest you and treat yourself to an MVP. That includes a hot towel treatment and upper back and shoulder massage. It's the ultimate haircutting experience. At Sport Clips Haircuts, guys win. Golfers, don't miss the San Diego Golf Super Show presented by Marvin K. Brown Auto Group this weekend at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. I went to AMCO just for you to make sure that I knew exactly what was going on with them and exactly what could be going on with your car. If you got that check engine light on in your car, what you got to do is go over to AMCO. You don't need an appointment and they will diagnose it for free. So I'll tell you what the problem is without charging you to tell you what the problem is. Novel idea. And these guys, they know what they're doing. These techs have been doing this for a long time. They go on the internet. They periodically have to take tests to make sure that they know what's up. And it translates to good stuff for you. Plus, they got these guys that they call Master Techs. They're located back east. And all they do is update that Amco database about your car. New things going on with your car. Even if it's not brand new. Old ones.

1:13:47So, take it to Amco. They don't want to replace your transmission. They want to fix it for you. They want to save you money. It's Amco. They're double A. Beep, beep. MCO. Rock 105.3 Traffic. Brought to you by Sleep Train Mattress Centers. Casting from the Cricket Wireless Studios. Like the creepy grandpa. Yeah, you know, like that, oh yeah, that guy. KIOC San Diego's Rock. featuring a visit from the many, many voices of Craig Gass. Tracy Morgan. I'm surprised. I really didn't think Tom Marvel knew these two guys. I'm actually surprised. Look at this. Hey, it's Tracy Morgan. Look at this guy. Oh, wow. The writer's strike is over. I'm so happy. I love you on 30 Rocks. I'm excited to see that. Up and running, baby. Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You a big fan? Yeah, I watch every movie. I want to get you pregnant. Okay.

1:14:52The Mikey Show continues. Rock 105.3. I do it for the ladies, but I got to keep a hood. Where we at, Polo? I see you all. We just getting started. Come back, it is 7-18. President Bush officially endorsed John McCain yesterday at the White House. Well, looks like Joey Harrington is going to be looking for work again. The Atlanta Falcons cut the quarterback. Are you serious? That poor guy, dude. Dude, I don't think he's... He played that bad for the Falcons, and he just got no love there. What's up with that? I don't know. Bobby Matrino didn't like him. I don't know. He just didn't fit in. He doesn't fit in anywhere he goes. He hasn't. No. I'm not saying he's a stud or anything like that, but I think he plays better than people give him credit for. Right. Well, we'll find out what's going to go on with that. Hey, by the way, if you want to read our blogs. Oh, yeah.

1:16:03Our blogs are like our online diary, like our journal, you know? And you can go to MikeyShow.com, and in the keyword section, you type in the word blogs. You hit enter, and then there you go. You've got blogs, and you can read what Eddie's thinking. Oh, yeah. You can read what Sky's thinking. You can read what any one of us on the show are up to. It's pretty awesome. Craig, are you ready to do this? Yes, sir. Let's do this. We're going to do a little Craig Gas Theater. Our first movie. If you've never heard this, Craig does a million voices. We're going to take advantage of that. Basically, what we're going to do is we're going to recast a couple of movies. Our first movie that we're recasting is Transformers. This is the scene in Transformers where Optimus Prime, the main Transformer, is about to look into the audience. you sitting there in the movie theater, and say some very profound things. Sunlight begins to creep onto the screen, revealing a strange symbol, like a complete glyph. Slowly, the camera widens to reveal it's one of many. Etched onto a metallic surface, the symbols can only have come from an alien civilization. We hear a powerful voice. Powerful.

1:17:34Noble, though we don't know it yet, is the voice, Optimus Pran. Our planet was destroyed by the ravages of war. That's right. A war waged between legions who worship chaos and those of us who follow freedom. Light grows. It illuminates an immense square mass, a cube covered by symbols. hurtling through space we back for the rule of a supreme power the energon the energon cube i don't know what that is it's origin shut up assy its origin is known unknown to us yet it bears the life force that created our race we fought until our world was awash in death until the very ground swallowed whole our once mighty cities

1:18:39And the cube was lost to the limitless star. The cube plunges. An astridal grouping. And ever so slightly nicks one of the rocks. And bounces in a new direction. Then, by fortune or fate, its course was altered. Drawn to a planet called Earth. There's no way I can knock it out of this. Sam Kinnison. It is. It takes on a different feeling. It really does. Sam Kinison as Optimus. Amazing, amazing. Really intense. Can I be a stealth and get out of this? Now, as you know, a guy named Javier Bardeen won Best Supporting Actor for No Country for Old Men. This year's Best Picture. And so what we do in Craig Gasteaters, we recast these movies.

1:20:04And so this time, instead of Javier Bardeen playing the role of Chigurh, it's going to be none other than Tracy Morgan. Oh, wow. That's different. I'm a black dude. That's right. I'm going to be playing the dude with a po' boy haircut. I'm going to look like Little Richard, 1967. The scene may take on a different feel as Tracy Morgan takes the role of the villain. When he says different feel, he means more blacking. Eddie is our narrator. All right. An isolated, dusty crossroad. It is twilight. The Ford sedan that Chigurh stopped is parked alongside the pump. Chigurh stands at the counter across the elderly profiteer. He holds up a bag of cashews. Okay, how much? 69 cents. 69 cents? Yeah, 69 cents. 69 cents? Okay, this and the gas. Y'all getting any rain up there your way? Well, where would that be? I might have seen your cars from Dallas. Sugar tears open the bag of cashews and pours a few into his hand. What business is it of yours where I'm from, friendo? Nothing by it. Didn't mean nothing. Didn't mean nothing. Just passing the time. I guess that just passes for manners and you'll crack up your thing.

1:21:38Well, Sigur, I apologize. If you don't want to accept that, I don't know what else I can really tell you. Is there going to be anything else? I don't know. Will there? The proprietor turns and coughs. Sigur stares. Is there something wrong? With what? I guess with anything. Is that what you're asking me? Is there something wrong you asking me? Is there something wrong with anything? Is that what you're asking me? The quieter looks at him. Uncomfortable looks away. Sir, is there going to be anything else? You just asked me that! You just asked me that! It's just that I need to see about closing. See about closing? Yes, sir. What time do you close? Now. I mean, we close now, I guess. Now's not a time. What time do you close? Generally around dark. At dark, we close. the deal, I guess. Chigurh stares, slowly chewing. You don't know what you're talking about, do you? Sir? I said you don't know what you're talking about. Chigurh chews. What time you go to bed? Sir? You're a bit deaf, aren't you? I said what time you go to bed. Well, I mean, I guess we go to bed about, I'd say around 9.30. Okay, I'll come back then.

1:23:09Why would you be coming back? Be closed at that time. You just said that. He continues to stare chewing. I need to close now then, I think. You live in that house next door? Yes, I do. That house right there? That piece of crap right next door? That's where you live? Yes. You lived there your whole life? This was my wife's father's place originally. What? Yes. You married into this? Well, sir, we lived in Temple, Texas for many years. We raised a family there in Temple, and then we come out here about four years ago. For the love of Shirley Hemphill, you married into this? I mean, the Shirley Hemphill thing I don't know about, but if that's the way you want to put it... I don't have some way to put it. That's the way it is. Wow. That piece was brought to you by Black Rage. Okay. Circa 1910. All right. Well, we call it Craig Gas here. I call it Freckle Rocks. Freckle Rocks? It's much better than Freckle Rocks. Let's do this. 30 Rocks, I call it Dirty Rock, right, Freckle Rocks? That is what you call it. We're going to take a quick timeout. Craig is sitting in on the entire show with us today, and he goes, I'll be selling weed in the parking lot. No, you will not leave in the parking lot. Mikey? Hello?

1:24:51Never called in before, but I love your show, and you guys rock. Oh, that's awesome. Thinking about getting your hands on some new musical gear? Well, Guitar Center's got 31 reasons to come in this weekend and play. Reason 1. The annual green tag sale is going on now. Every green tag means savings of 20% and more off our everyday low price. Reason 10. Special 12-month no payment, no interest financing. Reason 31 and maybe the best reason of all. The gear's set up and you can play all you want. Guitar Center. We help people make music. in theaters Friday, March 14th. So, Carol, have you ever been on a blind date? First one. Me too, but I really feel a connection. How about you? Hold my hand. Carol, these are my parents. You and Steven are perfect together. Call us mom and dad. No. Do it. This is ridiculous. So, about the wedding. Here comes the bride. Wedding. Something small and inexpensive. I agree. Big weddings are just too pricey. Dad, go find out if the maitre d' can marry us. Oh, sure he can, Steve-o. Meet my divorce attorney. Steven, sign here. But what about the kids? I love you, mama. I'm out of here. Fast and inexpensive. Bad for dating, good for

1:26:52internet connections AT&T Yahoo high-speed internet download pictures music and stream video on the fastest internet for the price plus $50 cash back on select speeds when you sign up for AT&T Yahoo high-speed internet call 1-800-PICK-ATT or visit att.com the new AT&T your world delivered claim based on major broadband providers non-promotional pricing is advertised online cash back redemption required new customers to qualifying service requires qualifying local and LD services expires 5-2408 For details, call 1-866-416-6471 or go to att.com slash offer details. College? Think you can't afford it? Think again. Financial aid is available right now and year-round from California community colleges. They can help pay for fees, books, supplies, sometimes even the rent. What are you waiting for? Get all the details at ICanAffordCollege.com. It's official. Mossy Nissan sells more pre-owned vehicles than any other dealer in San Diego. With blue envelope protection and Mossy pricing, you'll get a great deal on the most reliable vehicle. Call 1-800-ASK-MOSSY-NOW for the location nearest you. Brought to you by Sleep Train Mattress Centers. Getting by with the pretty typical ride out here this morning for the most part. We do have a new accident being reported here westbound 78 just before the 5 freeway in Oceanside. You've got a couple of cars here in the center divide on their left-hand shoulder. So watch probably for a bit of a slowdown around that.

1:28:15As you head down that coastline on Southbound 5, brake lights continue from Lucadia pretty solid down to Solana Beach. South 15, you've got the usual stuff out of Escondido. Now off to 78 to Via Rancho Parkway. A little bit of slow traffic again through Carmel Mountain Ranch. Westbound 52, that's getting tougher as well at Asante coming off the 125, heading into the top of the summit. And then again just past Santo toward the 15 freeway. The West 8, looks like everyone's kind of hopping on the freeway all at once here. It's backing up in the Cajon Valley. From out to East Main Street. And then it struggles from Severn Drive for a slow one over the Ghostbusters Summit through La Mesa. Pretty much all the way in toward the 15 freeways. You head in towards the 805 now. And both the 5 and 805 northbound out of the South Bay. Pretty tough on both these freeways. From Chula Vista up to National City. The 805 particularly heavy are now off and on into North Park. And now you've got the stuff developing with brake lights out of Cranny Mesa over the 52. I'm Rick Lawrence on Rock 105.3. Is this Rebecca? Yes, it is. I understand that you... went to sleep train. Yes, they did. What happened? Well, my husband and I went back last May. We just got married, so we bought our new mattress. We got a really good deal on it. They threw in free sheets and pillows because we said we heard about it through you. And they also gave us the free mattress protector, so it was really cool. And I referred my mom to go there because she is buying a bed for my grandmother just this last week. And she went to the Curti Mesa store,

1:29:42And they actually beat the price on Costco. Sleep Train was selling it for, I think, around $1,000. And then the Costco price was like $500 something. So they beat that, which is awesome. They just won Best Mattress Store. And there's a reason for it. They're really good. The prices are great. And if you're getting one of these good name brand mattresses, or no matter what you're looking for, they're great. How is that mattress in terms of being comfortable? Awesome. I can't get out of bed in the morning. It's really comfortable. That is good stuff. Thank you. You got it. Sleep Train is your ticket to a better night. Back to the Mikey Show featuring Mikey. I rarely remember things that I wanted to say. Eddie. I love causing trouble. Sky. Now Rancho Bernardo. Shower cap on. Sean wears capri pants? I enjoy the taste of medicine. And Ashley. I can only take really small bites of food. Welcome back to the show. Don't go anywhere because we are going to be telling you all about the next Eddie vs. B-Rob challenge, which is going to happen next week. That's right. We're going to do this next week. So I'll tell you in just a little bit what that's all about and what they're going to be doing. I'm going to tell you right now, it's going to be fun.

1:32:09What did Eddie just do? He just blew me a kiss. That's so demeaning. Percy, he did the universal muscle, like flexing his muscles and showing him how big his muscles were and then he blew him a kiss. Deal with that, Rob. How do you like that? I'm flattered, actually. So would you guys like to take a guess? You guys can all just start taking guesses. Sky, I don't think you can guess because you may know the... I can't guess, and I don't know that you can, Sky. Have you seen the list of the gayest songs of all time? Yes. You've already seen it. The gayest songs? We can't guess. It's the gayest songs of all time. Okay. Anything Sean likes. I got one. Anything by Journey. No. Gayest songs of all time? Nope. Not on there. Pet Shop Boys, West End Girls. Eddie. You are very close. So it's Pet Shop Boys Opportunities. That's not it. Sean, what are some Pet Shop Boys songs? I can't think of any other ones. Well, they had their big one, Pet Shop Boys. West End Girls was the big one. No, I thought West End Girls was their second. Oh, come on, Craig. Cut 38. What the hell is them on the beach? It's a Pet Shop Boys Go West. Oh. And it came in number six on the top ten gayest songs of all time. Wow. Um.

1:33:39Is the final countdown on there by Europe? No, it isn't. And the reason is because it rocks so hard. Oh, it actually says? You're making a statement. It says it rocks real hard. Dancing Queen. Eddie, that is the number one. That is the number one. That is the number one. That is the number one gayest song of all time. Eddie. A one and a two and a... Oh, wait, wrong song. How dare you. Yeah, would you like to hear the version that we have here on the Mikey Show? I think we should. Craig says no. Yeah, I'm curious. I'm sorry. I'm curious. This is the version that we have for Skies. Skies, you know, can be a bit of a drama queen sometimes. Okay. I'm feeling good, man. Whoa. Sounds like me, right, Craig? I'm feeling fresh, I'm feeling sexy, and I'm feeling honey-baked.

1:34:37And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three. Hannibal Lecter put out a song? She's very similar. I am sky. I like interpretive jazz. A lot of inside jokes here. Look at me. Can't you see? I am the drama queen. Brilliant. I'm not apologizing for my behavior because I was really sick. I was throwing up here. I went home. I was throwing up at home. Hell yeah. Sell it. Early morning and I'm on the show. Sell it. Mispronouncing and in the flow. Man, I wish we played music and I didn't have to be having to read and speak. I had just been conversating. It's conversing. The guys are making me want to cry. Life was better when I was high. I don't know how I do it. Every single day, I really earn my pay.

1:35:39Funniest parody song of all time. Fire up the helicopter. We're getting out of here. I got my cramps. It's that time of the month. I think I need to call mother. It's me again. Yes, again. Yes, it's me. Will you come get me? I have a sunburn. No, I'm a cramp. Of course I'm being serious. And you can take me to your place and we'll look for a water bottle. We'll put urine in it and it'll cure me. But call Kaiser first. Make sure that they're aware of this. Ramsey, get those blades moving. Come on, don't be so slow. The gayest and the funniest. It came in number one. Wow. I see Mike. Gayest and the funniest. Craig looks a little confused.

1:37:02He does look confused. Stop it, Eddie. Eddie. He probably has never heard the sunburn story. I can explain it. You're right. You guys are sure. I can explain it. I feel rude. I feel rude. Actually, a lot of listeners who probably listen for the first time, they're unaware of it as well. We're in the middle of a list right now. That's the deal. Yeah, I'm a friend of the show. I don't know about the sunburns. He's a friend of the show. We're doing a list right now. We should probably stay on topic. Craig. Years ago, when we were in San Jose, before we came to San Diego, Sky got a life-threatening sunburn. Life-threatening? Well, it was very bad sunburn. Yeah, it was red. It was red. So it was actually sun poisoning? No. Yes. No, wasn't diagnosed that. Yes. Sky says yes. But what happened was, is that she went home and her mother put urine on it. Doctor's orders. Put on the advice, not a doctor. The advice of an advice nurse over at Kaiser on the phone. Put urine by getting some off of eBay? No, no, no. No, no. By getting off... Homemade. Homemade? Yes. Yes, it was. Yes, it was. Well, that's the best kind. And it did not work. Right. No. It did not work. Luckily, she was able to return to work in the next three weeks, I believe. That is true. Shut up.

1:38:19Stop it. I was back the next day. So Sky and her mom made a Kaiser video? No, no. No, there was no home video. There was nothing like that. Don't be ridiculous. No home remedies were working. That would be ridiculous. And the Kaiser Weissner suggested that. Do you guys have any more guesses on the gayest songs of all time? Top 10. It's more about strength. I don't know if it's gay, but I Will Survive? That's not like gay though, right? Craig? Have you ever heard it? I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor is number three in the top ten gayest songs. So these are like gay anthems. That's right, gay anthems. Wait a minute, cut 41. Flip, next door. Tracy, get it. I'm gonna get you. I can't believe you married into this. Thank you very much. Do you have a restraining order, Casey? Yes. You guys got any more guesses? Yes. Boston Rob's Brady song. Oh, that is not... It should be. That's number one, right? It really should be. That is actually not on. An honor. An honor. Thank you. Can you give us guesses for number two? Number two, I will give you a hint, you mean. Is it the I sit on you song? It is not the I sit on you song.

1:40:03That's not gay. Not at all. And is the I sit on you song permanently? Yes. Where can I find it? Middle. Right? Middle? White. There it is. Oh, yes. This is the jam, Craig. Don't mess with it. This is what I do. I sit on you. I sit on you. I sit on you. I sit on you. I sit on your lap. This is what I do. I sit on you. Wait a minute. Oh, you guys did cameras in the studio. I sit on you. We need cameras in the studio right now. Everyone in the room is doing some version of the Charlie Brown dance. Eddie's doing a bicycle. Now the Brady song that Eddie thought that he was talking about was the song, of course, by Boston Rob about Tom Brady. This one's going out to Tom Terrific.

1:41:11Little pipe in there. This is extraordinarily gay. You have to admit it. Your chin's wicked awesome. Gay. Pass me all your balls. Compete with Ted Dansons. Just hit me. In the slot, is that gay? Yes. Thank you very much. I think I got number two. I think I figured it out. What do you think it is? Number two, if it's not number one, has to be in the Navy. You are very close. YMCA! You got it. Number two is YMCA. Yeah. You guys know that Eddie's doing the dancing. Oh, you're really good, dude.

1:42:13Isn't that a little early? You don't need to make that face. You're gay. Yes. Thank you. So there it is. That's the top. Now, that's the top three. You guys got all the top three. You got ABBA, the number one song. Village People YMCA is number two. Gloria Gaynor, I Will Survive, number three. You guys got Pet Shop Boys as number six. You're missing four, five, seven, eight, nine, and ten. Madonna Vogue. You got it. Number nine. I'm really connected to the gay community. You really are. Eddie's got his cone boobs on. Thank you. Hang on, I'm going to vote in a second. Thank you. Eddie is drawing a pencil mustache on himself right now. There you go. Thank you, Sean. And I don't have a pencil. There is no way that you guys will get... I do not believe that you guys will get the rest of them. However... gotta get number four. Well, I was gonna say, yes, number four. I was gonna say, you will get number four. If you think about it. Anything by Cher? Nope. It's an old school one. It's the gayest song. I'm surprised it isn't number one. Another anthem. 70s? It's in the lyrics, guys. That's a hint. It's in the lyrics. It doesn't say gay. There you go. Number four. The Weather Girls.

1:43:36It's raining men. Yeah, it is. We need cameras. Please, Mike. We need cameras. You're the worst. I like how he disappears behind the console, but his gayness rises over. Like a zenith? Totally. Like a great phoenix. Gay phoenix. Like a big pink phoenix. Thank you, Shawnee. Number 10 was Alicia Bridges. I love the nightlife. I love to forget. I love that song. And number 8 is a song that I actually really like. Xanadu by Olivia Newton-John. Xanadu is gay? I think there's a lot gayer Olivia Newton-John songs. Xanadu is a big gay anthem. That movie is like a big...

1:44:58Gay following. It is? Yeah. And all those songs can be found on Mikey's gay pod. That's true. True. Number seven is, I do not know this one, Kylie Minogue, Better the Devil You Know. Never heard of it. I know Kylie Minogue, but I don't know. She's on the list twice because she was also number five, Your Disco Needs You. Kylie Minogue. Now, I will remind you that this was come up, this gay list of its kind was put up in Australia. Okay. And so that explains a little bit of it. Anyway, there's your top ten. Wow. Hillary Clinton was hinting yesterday that there may be a super ticket. Uh-oh. Now, I don't know that Obama knows this. No, I don't think so. Like, maybe he's like... Huh? What are you talking about? Maybe the super ticket. This is very personal. We know. We know it's personal. But this was on the CBS early show yesterday. Cut 20. And very quickly, we talked to a lot of people in Ohio who said there really isn't that significant a difference between you two, and they'd like to see you both on the ticket.

1:46:02Well, that may be where this is headed, but of course we have to decide who's on the top of the ticket. And I think that Ohio very clearly said that it should be me. And after all, no one in recent history has won the presidency who did not win their party's primary in Ohio, Harry. As Ohio goes. It's the key, as Ohio goes. And last night I think I showed that I'm the candidate best able to win in the fall if we look at Ohio. You know what that reminds me of? The laugh that she just gave in the middle of that, and with all due respect to Boston Rob, it was very similar to the laugh that Tom Brady gave the day before the big game where they asked him, hey, you know, one of the guys in the Giants said they're going to keep you guys down to 14 points. And he goes, ha, ha, ha. Did he say that? Did he say that? He goes, oh, that's great. Maybe Tom Brady and Hillary Clinton are actually the same person. Maybe they're not. Have you ever seen them together at the same time? Yes, I have. No, where? I don't think you have. I think they're both going to end up losers. Oh, Eddie. I don't like the way Hillary, I don't like the way Hillary's mullets looking at me. Let's do this. Let's do this.

1:47:15We're going to do a quick timeout, and when we come back, we are going to hear about what Eddie and B-Rob are going to be doing next week. Not only that, but I'm going to tell you how you P1s... Yeah, Eddie's doing a little airbase. He's so good. I'm going to tell you how you P1s can actually... Got to get the band back together, Eddie. You guys can actually hear this. Nice. Now, let me tell you this. It's going to be a very exclusive invite in order for you to be able to view Eddie and B-Rob's competition. In the past, we've done them out in front of everybody. This time, it's only going to be available to a very small amount of people. Hey, can I just say something, Mike? It's my understanding that all you have to have is the desire to be there. You're not supposed to be talking about, Tom. What's a P1? The P1 is someone that turns down their radio, they get to the point, they don't cuss, and they listen to the Mikey Show exclusively. That is correct. Of the P1 Army. The Mikey Show. Get rich quick? Forget about it. That only happens if you win the lottery, hit the jackpot, or inherit a fortune. The odds are high this won't happen to you. The problem is, if you want to be financially free by the time you retire, you will need to be rich.

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1:49:36I've been waiting a long time for this. So, George, what are you going to do with your $10 million? Yeah, yeah, can you guys move aside and make way for the Subway sandwiches? Subway sandwiches? What Subway sandwiches? Excuse me, excuse me. Look out, please. Subway sandwiches coming through. But, George, George, what about your $10 million price check? Not now, guys. It's time for lunch. So, what are we going to do now? People can't wait to get their hands on a Subway tuna sandwich. And now you can enjoy it in a whole new way. Try it hot and fresh toasted with melted cheese for a delicious tuna melt. Pick up your tuna or tuna melt today. George, hello. We're not leaving until you accept the check. Not until I finish my Subway sandwich. George? Hello? Subway. Eat fresh for a limited time only at participating restaurants. This weekend will be out of control during the March Mayhem Sale at Fun Bike Center in Kearney Mesa. Never before has a sale caused such chaos and madness. Everything Yamaha is tagged to go. Like the legendary 07 Yamaha R1 Supersport MSRP of $11,699. But not this weekend. No way! Save over $2,000 on an 07 Yamaha R1 Supersport this weekend at Fun Bike Center. Free motocross demonstrations, daredevil stunt riders, and more. Go to FunBike.com for details. FunBike Center.

1:50:48Flat tire? Engine trouble? Battery died? Phone 511 first. By dialing 511 from your cell phone, you can now access tow services while remaining safely inside your vehicle. Simply dial 511 from your cell phone and say Roadside Assistance. Each call is directed to the call box answer center, which will help you to receive roadside assistance. In non-emergencies in San Diego County, phone 511 first from your cell phone. For more information, visit sdcallbox.org. Hey, check this out. Did you know that a just-completed survey of AIS clients shows an average savings of $850 per year? Now, of course, prices vary depending on your needs, so it really pays to shop around, which is what AIS does for you. In fact, 92% of AIS clients renew year after year, which goes to show just how much money they're saving.

1:51:42Remember, AIS wants you as a customer for life. Hey, it's Mikey. Call AIS at 1-800-777-4AIS. Again, that's 1-800-777-4AIS. Get in the zone. AutoZone. AutoZone wants you to know when it comes to when you should change your oil. It's not how many miles you drive, it's how you drive. If you drive in stop-and-go traffic or make frequent short trips, your oil needs changing more often, ideally every 3,000 miles. Now at AutoZone, get five quarts of Castro motor oil and a Fram oil filter for just $13.99. Some restrictions apply. See store details. Don't wait till it's too late. Get in the zone today. Get in the zone. AutoZone. Here's a Mikey moment. Hi, guys. It's Michael Jackson. Hi, Michael Jackson. Are you okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was listening to those clips and getting kind of irritated. Oh, but it's your sister. Actually, Janet, I was explaining some things to you guys. Okay. See, Janet doesn't listen to her music because of the medical concerns. What kind of medical concerns? See, I told her what happened to me. What happened to you? When I used to listen to Thriller, my nose fell off and I turned white. No, no. The Mikey Show continues. Rock 105.3. For the ladies, I gotta keep it hood. I see you all right.

1:53:26Welcome back. It's the Mikey Show. It is 7.56. Tracy Morgan's in the studio. That's right. That's my jam. Yeah, there you go. What's up, Freckles? Hi. I like your style, Freckles. Well, thank you. City attorney, Mikey Geary, your boy, he officially launched his re-election campaign yesterday. If you're in the NFL, you're going to make a lot of money. The Browns give defensive tackle Sean Rogers a six-year, $42 million deal. Holy cow. Wow. He's on his last legs. What's going on? Craig Gash hanging out in the studio. So it's Tracy Morgan. Yeah, I'm going to be at 4th and B with Craig on Saturday night. Yeah. If you want to buy discounted tickets, come around the corner. No, no, no, no. 3rd and C. No, there won't be any. It will be 4th and C. There is no 4th and C. There isn't. There isn't a 4th and C. That's what they told me. They said, park your van over there. Park your van over there. What did I say we were going to do? Follow the smoke. Oh, I know. I know what I want to tell you. Follow the smoke. Follow the smoke.

1:54:24Scalp tickets. And get your t-shirts around the corner. Okay. I love weed. So as you know, Boston, Rob, and Eddie have been doing competitions against each other for a very long time. And this last one, I lost for Eddie. Aw. Eddie was supposed to get out there and race, but he had a pretty terrible flu. So I went out and raced go-karts against Rob and got smoked. Twice. Twice. You don't need to rub it in. I feel bad for him. Twice, which is double the amount of times that Ashley got smoked by him. And she did get smoked, let's be clear. I'm just saying, twice as many times as Ash did. Now let me tell you something. That's your manhood. Let me tell you something. Boston Rob feels... That this next time is going to be a repeat of last time where he defeated me, thus defeating Eddie. Eddie says, well, I would like to, if you don't mind, represent myself. Yeah, I'm healthy. I'm ready to go. That's right. So the next Eddie B-Rob challenge is video games. So easy. Now this is what we're going to do. Street Fighter 2? Not Street Fighter 2. That's a good one. Although Eddie could do it.

1:55:49Eddie, you could probably take him at Street Fighter. Finish him! Yeah. I'd be ripping out his spine. Seriously. His spine. But what we're going to do is we're going to have it be the Patriots versus the Chargers on Madden. Is it the new Madden? Do we have Madden 08? Yeah, we're going to do 08. Madden 08. Awesome! So we got Madden 08 and we're going to have these two guys go up against each other. Now. It's going to be as fair as it can be where we're going to have Eddie be the Chargers and Boston Rob be the Patriots and we're going to do something different. Full contact. Not full contact. They can shank each other. That would be cool. Prison rules. It will be in our performance studio here at Clear Channel. Nice. Full couches, big screen TV. Popcorn. A little popcorn. A little popcorn. And we're going to have seats set up for a very select few P1s to come watch this. Yeah. How's that? Week from today. Week from today. So starting next week, we're going to be giving away your opportunity to come in and do this. It's going to be pretty cool. So get ready. That's the next.

1:57:05B-Rob and Eddie Challenge. It's going to be Madden 08 here at the radio station in the performance studio. Big screen TVs. P1's watching it. It's going to be awesome. I can hang with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tracy Morgan. Can I bring my Coke can? Yeah, you come back. Wait, you don't smoke out of any Coke can. You don't do any of that. If I don't win 72 to nothing, I'll be pretty disappointed. I'll be disappointed. I'll be honest with you. You're a tough guy. I cannot wait to see this. What's the money line? What's the spread? Who's giving points? I'm going to say the spread right now is about 71 points, Eddie. Thank you. Now, what we're going to do is, just so everybody that's listening can know, what we're going to do is, we are going to connect the TV to the air. So as you're driving to your car and you're listening, you're going to be able to hear the Madden game being played. Really? You're going to hear them talking smack to each other. It's going to be like those EA sports commercials that you see on TV where the two dudes are playing and talking smack. I get a feeling that Eddie's going to just, if he has the opportunity, he's going to be so brutal. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That he's just going to just creep. Rob's like his little brother. I won't run up the score at all. Yeah.

1:58:20Rob is like his little brother, and I can't wait to watch it go down. And the thing that's so cute is Rob thinks he can get in there and mix it up. Right. I can. It's adorable. This is his chutes and ladders, buddy. Hey, I got an idea. This just occurred to me. Sean, is it possible to set it up so that we can actually have people view it on their computer? So that we like connect, like maybe we connect the Xbox or whatever to either a wireless connection or to an Ethernet connection so that people listening. Oh, like we stream it. Yeah, like we stream it. Yeah, yeah. We can do that. Wow. Really? Yeah. That's impressive. So people at their computers either at home or at work, you can listen on the radio and you can watch it on your computer, the game happening live as we're doing it. Wow. Fantastic. That'd be pretty awesome. So how often does Eddie play the game? How often do you play the game? You know, I mean, I probably play Madden. It's like, I don't know, like once every couple of months. And Rob, how often do you play the game? I've played it like three or four times. Oh, my God. Oh, dude. Oh, dude.

1:59:40Oh, this is going to be fun. I never play video games and all I got is PS2. So it's like whenever my brother lets me use Xbox 360. Hey, Eddie, you sure you don't want to do Fraga? Wicked awesome at Ms. Pac-Man. Yeah, exactly. Don't even mess with Q-Bert. So Miley Cyrus says that she really loves it when she looks out into the crowd at her Hannah Montana concerts and she sees dads there with their daughters. She says that that's really neat to her and she thinks it's pretty nice of these dads to bring their daughters. But she says that it does creep her out a little bit when she looks out there and sees these guys sometimes and they don't have daughters. And she does see that. She does see that plenty. And I just wanted to let Miley know.

2:00:34It creeps us out, too. Yeah, that's a little creepy. Do we have anybody walking in the third row going, Hi, I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. What are you doing here? I just want to see the concert. Well, we got your chat log. How bizarre are those dudes? Oh, man. That's gross. Who's that guy? Right? Donny Osmond may permanently replace Pat O'Brien on The Insider. Pat's back in rehab. P.O.B. Yeah. And there was a big rumor about Patrick Swayze that he didn't have long to live. And the rumor was, I guess, starting to get out of hand. And so Patrick Swayze's doctor is addressing it. Right, Skye? Yeah, well, it's funny because I read it on the internet yesterday and I said to Eddie, I'm like, dude, this can't be true. This cannot be true. And then, like Mikey said, late yesterday afternoon, Patrick Swayze's doctor released a statement saying that, yes, Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. But the reports that he has only five weeks to live are untrue. Now, is this like, Craig, he self-diagnosed this? No.

2:01:41I hope he didn't do a self-diagnosis. No, this is an actual doctor. I was bleeding. You'd be scared if you were bleeding. That's right. Yeah, so the doctor says that Patrick has a very limited amount of the disease and is undergoing treatment and that they are optimistic. So, fingers crossed. In the worst case scenario. if something bad does happen to him? Will we have to use Whoopi Goldberg to contact him? Wow. Could be. Could be. You never know. Great ghost reference. Yeah, it could be the case. It's weird because I'm right now sitting behind Craig Gass as we're making a nice vase as he's made that joke. It's creepy. So weird. It's odd. Both of your hands covered in clay. Yeah, it's sexy. What was the song from that movie? Isn't it Unchained Melody? Yeah, by the Everly Brothers. Oh, that's a good one. Yesterday, Bush did endorse John McCain. Cut 21. A while back, I don't think many people would have thought that John McCain would be here as the nominee of the Republican Party. Except he knew he'd be here. And so did his wife, Cindy. John showed... Did he have to wink at her right then? ...courage, strength of character, and perseverance in order to get to this moment. And that's exactly what we need in a president's room.

2:03:02Somebody who can handle the tough decisions. Somebody who won't flinch in the face of danger. We also need somebody with a big heart. I have got to know John well in the last eight years. Oh, he had to think about it. I've campaigned against him, and I've campaigned with him. Laura and I have spent time in their house. It's a man who deeply loves his family. It's a man who cares a lot about the less fortunate among us. He's a president, and he's going to be the president who will bring determination to defeat an enemy and a heart big enough to love those who hurt. Mikey, you know why I like him? Why? He's down on my level. That's right. Tracy Morgan says President Bush speaks on his level. I like him. You know, I actually met. Hold on a second. I met the president. I see him all the time at cocaine anonymous meetings. No, you don't. Yes, I do. Yes, I do.

2:04:03And he's working on his program. He's a good guy. You don't want to talk about any program. And, man, he's got a lot of years under his belt. He's actually the President of the United States, and he's just like us. That's right. He is. Shut up! Come to the comedy show on Saturday night, 4th of B. I'll have all the pictures from the meetings. No, you won't. No, you can't do that. It's on my camera phone, but I'll pass it around. That second part's anonymous. Thank you. Jeez, man. So it turns out that Kirsten Dunst has fallen in love in rehab. She's met a guy and she's... Wait, didn't she go to rehab because of another guy? No, no, no, no. Oh, okay. Did she? I mean, that's why. I thought she was involved in a bad relationship. I thought it was like addiction. But no, she got involved with like a guy that was into drugs. She got into drugs with him. I don't know. And then she had to go to rehab. Yeah. Is that what the deal was? Was he famous? Well, he's like a rocker type of guy. I think it was after her. Was it Crisco? The same guy that was... He was one of the guys. Was it Mike Turner?

2:05:03Yeah, was it Ike Turner? He's passed. He's passed, Tracy. Wow, Tracy. Well, remember Sarah Michelle Gellar was dating Crisco, the guy that's from that band that nobody's ever heard of. Was it? Cisco Adler. Yeah, Crisco. Misha Barton was dating him. Misha Barton was dating Crisco. So lost right now. But anyways, yes, Kristen Dunn started dating this string of rockers who were bad boys and into bad stuff, and she got into bad stuff and checked herself into rehab. She's actually in the same rehab in Utah that Lindsay Lohan went to, and Lindsay Lindsay fell in love there as well with that, you know, dude. Yeah. Same guy? No, this is actually a different guy. And so I guess the people at the facility have kind of had enough with Kirsten Dunst because her and this dude are like all over each other. And it's like against the rules. Not allowed. They keep trying to separate them and separate them and it's not working. And this dude goes even so far as to having his mom. send flowers to the facility for Kirsten with his name signed to them. Weird. And the mom's doing it. And the mom is doing it. We gotta have Spider-Man throw in a web and just suck her right out of rehab. That's right. That's right. How about this one? There's a little mouse that they found in the Los Penasquitos Canyon. And it's just tested positive for the Hantavirus. Oh my god. That's crazy. That is crazy. Looking for.

2:06:25Well, I don't understand. What do they do? Do they go grab mice every once in a while and test them? I think so. Just so they can keep statistics on, you know, how many mice are infected and if it gets out of hand. They do say that at least 5 to 10% of the local wild mouse population tests positive for hantavirus every year. What? You should give them little condoms. What is that? A hantavirus. They say the symptoms are similar to the flu, but it just comes on so fast and you get like a really bad fever, a drop in blood pressure, and in severe cases, it can lead to death. Now, the way you get it, so be careful if you're ever cleaning up mouse droppings in your yard or whatever, underneath your house, always wear a mask because it gets in the air through their droppings, and if you breathe that in, that's how you get it. I can tell you all kinds of things about mice. I used to have mice in my old apartment back in the Boogie Down Bronx. You say in the Boogie Down Bronx, Tracy? The Boogie Down Bronx, that's right. This is Tracy Morgan with your Mice Report. From all my years of hanging out with mice in my apartment in the Boogie Down Bronx, I can tell you a couple things. Number one, they love Spam. Can't get enough of that Spam. Always in my fridge having Spam. They also like grape juice.

2:07:43That's all that was in the house, Tracy. That's all you had in there. And you know what I found out? What? This is back then. Maybe the styles changed, but they love Heavy D. Great show, everybody. Great show. There's snow in them there hills, dude. And Rock 105.3 wants you to slip slide away to Big Bear for three fun-filled days. So stop by the nearest Cricket Wireless location now and get the text number and keyword you need to register to win a trip for two on board the Snowboard Super Trip to Big Bear Mountain Resort. And hey, don't be left behind because this contest ends 3-9-0-8. For the Cricket Wireless location nearest you, just visit sandiego.mycricket.com. No purchase necessary. At Express Tire, all tires are on sale now. Save up to 25% on all tires in stock. Tires for less? Call Express Tire today at 1-888-EXP-TIRE. Again, that's 1-888-EXP-TIRE. Does your deck or balcony leak when it rains? Then trust LifeDeck to waterproof your outdoor balcony or roof deck. LifeDeck has been San Diego's leader in protective decorative surface coatings for over 25 years. Call 800-541-3310 for a free estimate or visit LifeDeck.com. Let's go Padres!

2:09:06Come on and have some fun. Hey, all right. Yeah, our team, our town. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, Sky. The Padres season is going to be kicking off here pretty soon. We're less than a month away, ladies and gentlemen. And you got to get on it, man. Get on the Padres Flex 13 plan. What the heck is that, Eddie? What are you talking about? Well, here's what you do. If you ask for the Padres Flex 13 plan, you get to choose seven weekend games, which are the primo games, you know, the games that are on Friday to Sunday. And six weekday games Monday through Thursday of your choice. You can also get opening night tickets in place of one of those weekend games. And you can't get opening night tickets anywhere else. I mean, they're basically sold out. They held some for the Padres Flex 13 plan. So that's the only way you're going to be going to open a night at this point. So Padres Flex 13 plan start at only $169. That is the best deal you're going to get. Seating is based on first come, first serve basis. So make sure you want to take care of your seating now. Get the games you want. Get the opening night if that's what you want. All kinds of great stuff going on right now. So check it out. Go to Padres.com. And you can also give them a call at 877-FRIER-TIX to purchase tickets. Just make sure you ask for the Padres Flex 13 plan.

2:10:29Rock 105.3 Traffic. Brought to you by Sleep Train Mattress Centers. We'll be right back. The southbound side of the 5 is a busy ride as well from La Costa into Solana Beach. And westbound 56, pretty tough here this morning. You've got brake lights pretty much from Black Mountain Road out of Penasquitos through Carmel Valley all the way to the 5 freeway. I'm Rick Lawrence on Rock 105.3. Podcasting from the Cricket Wireless Studios. That's so funny, it deserves me to throw up. KIOC San Diego's Rock. Here's a Mikey moment. We got P1 Giants fan.

2:12:03Wait till you hear what his uncle did. Well, we caught him. My grandma was going on vacation. She'd come back, and all of her stuff would kind of be, you know, in her bedroom, be all kind of out of place and everything. And so we found out that my uncle was going into her bedroom when she was on vacation. She was supposed to be watching the house, you know, feeding the animals and stuff like that. And he was trying on her underwear. No! Oh, my gosh, dude. Mikey's show continues. Rock 105.3. It's a Mikey show at 816. There was an explosion early this morning in front of a military recruiting station in Times Square. Brett Favre is about 45 minutes away from his press conference where I will be in tears. A couple of guys last night were contemplating whether or not they believe that he will really go through with it. They think that he won't and maybe he really won't. What do you think, Eddie?

2:13:11Well, football is a lot different than baseball. You know, guys retire all the time in baseball and come back. You know, like Roger Clemens and stuff like that. I think Brett is... I think he's done. I think he's had enough. And I think, you know, like we talked about yesterday, he kind of wants to go out on a high note. He had a great season last year. And, you know, it's going to be hard for him to duplicate that. So, yeah, he's probably done. You know what I think Brett needs? What's that? I'd love to... I don't think... I'd love to give him a big dose of it. Um, what? Yeah! I think that more than anything what Brett Favre needs is, I wish that he had the internet and he could stream us right now so that he could hear a little Tough Love with Eddie. I don't know if he needs that right now. Here is the idea. If you've never heard Tough Love with Eddie, this is a segment where people write in and ask Eddie for advice. Now this is unlike any other write-in segment and the reason that it is is because, well, Eddie doesn't sugarcoat.

2:14:10That is the truth. He gives it to you straight from the hip. Try to just, you know, tell it like it is. That is true. In a very assertful way. No, no. Sometimes you need to hear it in a very direct way, otherwise it's just not going to serve its purpose. In other words, I'm going to hit you in the face with some truth, bitch. That's right, Tracy. That's right, Tracy. Pretty much, Tracy. So our first letter reads, Dear Eddie, I have to tell you how much I enjoy reading your blogs every day. I read B-Rob's the other day, and I was shocked to hear that when he went drapes shopping, he really enjoyed it. And he really enjoyed hanging them up. It's raining men. I am an interior designer, and if he really wants to learn about design, I can help him. You may be surprised by this, but I'm a gay man. Please hold the jokes. I've heard them all. I am happy that Rob is taking an interest in home decor, and I hope to further his interest. Let him know that I can help. Thanks for your time, Eddie. Signed, P1 Thomas. Eddie? A dear planet of the drapes. Wait a second. Did he say he was gay? I'm shocked. Is he a designer? Gay? That doesn't make sense.

2:15:29Listen, Rob's transformation is a stunning one. I mean, this is the same kid that a couple of years ago was found upside down hanging from a tree covered in his own vomit after a Wednesday night bender. Wednesday night. Wednesday night. Now the kid is hanging drapes all weekend and he knows the difference between chartreuse and teal. Guy's changed a lot. I don't think he's changed to the point of where he wants to spend a hot, sweaty afternoon shirtless hanging drapes with a gay dude. That'll probably be around August. Give him time. Give him some time. Now, you may scoff at Rob's transformation, but just wait, single guys. You'll be having the time of your life trolling for chicks, getting wasted every weekend, and then BAM! You're off to Rite Aid at 9 p.m. scouring the aisles for lady napkins. I think that's what they're called, Michael. It happens to all of us. And, Thomas, you say you've heard them all before. Is that right? Well, what about this one? What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common? I don't know. What would a gay man and an ambulance have in common? Should we save this for Christopher Walken? This one's for Christopher Walken.

2:16:49They both get loaded from the rear and go, whoo! There you go, Thomas. In case you haven't heard that one before. That's a great joke, Eddie. Thank you. Worked on that one with Tom Arnold in the break. That's pretty bad. I used to write for Roseanne. We know. Yeah, we got it, Tom. That's when the show went bad. Oh, that is. Our next letter reads. Okay. Dear Eddie. Glad I could help Tom. I am a 17-year-old female high school student. I live at home with my parents. Unfortunately, my brother also lives at home. He is 23, no job, and isn't going to school. All he does is hang out in his room downstairs with his boys and play Xbox. And they do that all day. Every day. It wouldn't be so bad, but they constantly terrorize me and play pranks on me. When I go to the bathroom, they hide all the books. And then the other day I came home and...

2:17:51They took my desk from my room and put it by the diving board. By the pool in the backyard. That's actually pretty funny. Guys, you dumb. Eddie, I want to get back at them and play some pranks, but I don't know what to do. Can you help? Thanks, Oracle. That's signed P1 Brandy from La Mesa. Okay. Dear the B50 tools... Brandy, let the kid help you out, okay? We're doing the kid thing again? The kid's got you great. Now, I got a degree in payback pranks, okay? So here's a couple of great ones to get back at your brother and the musketards. All right, number one. Now, you might want to write these down, Sky, because these are pretty good. Okay. Number one, you can move his bed a half an inch. Every day for 30 days. At the end of the month, the bed's going to be like in the middle of the room and he's going to have no idea why. Number two. Now, if you can be alone with his wallet for about 10 seconds, rub a magnet all over his credit cards and boom. He's going to have to replace them all. That's not good. That's hysterical. No one should do that. I got a lot of these. Can you please be quiet? I'm sorry. Number three.

2:19:07This is always a good, an oldie but a goodie. Put clear double-sided tape all over his toilet seat. That's always hysterical. Number four. I got a lot of these. Number four. Plug in his Xbox into a clapper. So every time they like high five or make a sharp sound, it's going to turn off. I like that. That's pretty good. Number five. Put an open can of tuna fish in a paper bag and hide it in the back of his closet. That's hysterical. That's hysterical. Disgusting. Number six, put his Xbox on Craigslist for free. Now, no calls. First one to show up early Sunday morning gets it. All those are good, but I've saved the best for last. These are what I like to call super pranks. What you want to do is pay one of his boys to sleep with his girlfriend. That's always hysterical. It'll really get him. He'll be like, oh, what happened? Oh, I can't believe it's a prank. Wow. That's how Bobby and Whitney ended. It is, exactly. Now, here's another good one. We were just talking about this. While he's sleeping, inject him with the Hantavirus right in the neck. Oh, that's a little hysterical prank. These ones are hurtful. Good luck and good pranking to you. Talking about the mouse poo-poo disease. Yeah, exactly. Or you can just sprinkle those all over his pillow. Okay, please. Those are hurtful. Whatever floats your boat. No, he doesn't.

2:20:36He could die. Like Eminem. Oh, yeah. Our last letter reads. Round one. Okay. Dear Eddie, I heard you mention actresses that you thought were hot and it kind of made me mad. Whoa, why did I do that? You were talking about Donald Trump's daughter who said she wants a businessman for a boyfriend or something like that. Have you ever even been to a ranch or grown up around rodeo? What? Cowboys are the hottest, but so are cowgirls. It's irritating to me that you're, quote, Mr. Oh, she's so hot, unquote. Oh, man. And you never mention us cowgirls. Oh, how dare you, Eddie? Sorry. Come on down to In Cahoots sometime if you want to see some real women. Signed, P1 Cowgirl. Eddie? Hey, gotta be delicate. with this one. Dear Farman Electra. That's a compliment. Farman Electra. A couple things here. I believe the girl you're talking about was Ivanka Trump and she's hotter than a $2 pistol hanging off your waist right now, okay? Look, I don't discriminate. I mean, don't get your chaps all bunched up just because I haven't said hi, little darling.

2:22:03Just because you might look like the heavy side of a saddlebag doesn't mean... Excuse me. It doesn't mean I didn't like hitting the range back in the day. And I did. That was every Wednesday night, okay? And I definitely saw some real women. Some real drunk women. It used to be $1.50 you call it. Wednesday nights. All right. They didn't call me a pistol full of panties for nothing, you know what I'm saying? Okay, yeah, great. What? Hear, hear, hear, drunk. Great, yeah, great. Hear, hear, hear, twang. You're sweet, dude. It's very sweet. This guy, can you hear it? I hate white people, too. Okay. Can you hear it? No. Coming up Adams Avenue. No one hears anything. Stop it. It's the sound of healing. Hey, you're welcome, San Diego. The Mikey Show. Okay. Mikey Show is on.

2:23:30about getting your hands on some new musical gear? Well, Guitar Center's got 31 reasons to come in this weekend and play. Reason one, the annual green tag sale is going on now. Every green tag means savings of 20% and more off our everyday low price. Reason 10, special 12-month no payment, no interest financing. Reason 31, and maybe the best reason of all, the gear's set up and you can play all you want. Guitar Center, we help people make music. As the owner of a small record label, this tour bus is my office. And to manage gigs in 11 towns, you have to stay connected. Jack, the drummer's missing. We left him in Waco. Or Tulsa. I'm on it. So I called AT&T. When you add wireless to your AT&T business service, you get a $100 Visa reward card for each wireless device you purchase with qualifying plan. Up to nine devices. That's $900. My guitar and I are no longer on speaking terms. No, no more. I need a new one. With up to $900... I could buy, well, equipment. Jack, turn the bus around. I left my lucky pick in Tucson. I've got to have that pick. Add wireless from AT&T to your small business service and get a $100 Visa reward card for qualifying smartphone. This offer is available by calling 1-877-ONWARD-4. For complete details, visit att.com slash gobusiness. The new AT&T. Your world delivered. Requires new device purchase and qualifying wireless voice and data plan with two-year commitment for participating AT&T Sales Channel. Offer ends April 30th, 2008. Jack.

2:24:58I want to drive the bus. The director of The Descent. March 14th. Ever seen. There's no system. No rules. No backup. There's such a thing as hell on earth. That's it. Murder. That's just for starters. You think? Strong bloody violence, language and some sexual content and nudity. Under 17 not admitted without parent. In theaters Friday, March 14th. The New Day sales event during Truck Month is now on at your Dodge dealer. There's no better time to check out Ram 1500 with a no-extra-charge Hemi V8 upgrade or for well-qualified buyers to get long-term 0% APR financing on Ram and other select vehicles. Don't take chances when buying your used car. Go to Masi Toyota's pre-owned Supercenter where every used car, truck, and SUV comes with a 100,000-mile warranty. 100,000-mile warranty. Get to Masi Toyota on Mission Bay Drive in Pacific Beach today.

2:26:301053 traffic. Brought to you by Sleep Train Mattress Center. Who was that good? Hey, we've got a busier ride on our freeway still, man. This commute is not over yet. You've got the busy ride heading southbound 5 from Lucadia all the way to Salada Beach. South 15, though, you're doing okay here down the stretch out of Escondido for the most part here. You will find some slow traffic right around Carmel Mountain Ranch, and then you're good to go. Westbound 56 has been particularly heavy this morning. Still backing up from Black Mountain Road out of Rancho Panosquitos off and on all the way into Carmel Valley. The West 8 is improving us slightly. Yeah, it's still breaking up now from Waring Road to the 15. Then again, past the queue up to Mission Center Road. And the 805 northbound, you're good to go out of the South Bay, but still crawling from the 163 up to Governor Drive in the Golden Triangle. I'm Rick Lawrence on Rock 105.3. www.kudzu.com. Are you trying to find, like, a new hit place that you can take maybe your new boyfriend, girlfriend to? If you're trying to maybe look for someone to do some remodeling on your home. Home improvement, home decorating, anything like that, .com is where you're going to want to go. Whatever the case may be, you're going to need a friend, like a neighbor in the know who can help you out, put you in the right spot, point you in the right direction. Kudzu.com. That's K-U-D-Z-U.com. This website is unlike any other. It does everything that you need all in one click. You can also find hot deals at some of your favorite businesses. There's photos, videos, detailed service listings.

2:27:58Kudzu.com features how-to guides, business descriptions, even customer reviews. I mean, it's nuts. Like, they do it all. And I'm telling you, I know P1s, a lot of you have the computer jobs where you're sitting by your computer all day, you're bored, whatever. Go log on. Check it out. Check out the virtual house. Check out what Kudzu.com has to offer you. It's www.kudzu.com. Now, here's something you may have missed this morning on The Mikey Show. P1 Nina, you there? Yes. You know how tone deaf works? Yes. Here we go. Title or artist for you to win? That's Khalees Milkshake. You got it. You got that right. Khalees .1%. Wow. Seriously. And can't you see? I mean, doesn't it all kind of add up now? You left it all out there, girl. I wish she would just leave it there. The Mikey Show continues. I'm on the rock. Craig, do you have any what you would consider like strange, bizarre, nerdy, so strange slash bizarre slash nerdy hobbies or any strange, bizarre, nerdy thing?

2:29:32that you're really into strange nerdy well uh no i mean i collect guitar picks which is kind of like silly and uh now why see i want to do this thing where i that we would call make your case where we have people call 570-1053 like they call us and like if that was it you just all you got to do is convince me like what it like just explain to me what is it about that that you dig About the guitar picks. I just, I'm a huge music fan and I got this really cool collection. I've got probably about 2,000 guitar picks. Holy cow. From ACDC to ZZ Top to everything in between Guns N' Roses to Little Feet. You know what? I think I might actually have a guitar pick from Little Feet to the Judds. to these unusual guitar picks. The Judds have these guitar picks that are shaped like hearts. They did the Naomi and the mom and daughter last tour they did together, and the guitar picks were shaped like hearts. And then there's these steel guitar picks that Def Leppard has, and it has the Def Leppard logo stamped on it. Do you have them? How do you organize? I used to organize them, but now I travel so much, I just keep them in bags, and I'm just going to organize them later.

2:30:52That's what everybody says. What kind of bags? Just random bags. Oh, you got to smile when I said that. You got to smile because you realized what kind of bags. Well, some of them are sealed, individually sealed in these little... Like vacuum packed? Yes. Oh, wow. Wow. This is what I mean. Because I trade them. I trade them with other guitar pick collectors. And the thing is, is now... You know, I'm friends with all my favorite bands. Yeah. And I'll go to their shows and I'll hang out. And they'll just give me like tons of guitar picks. Like, oh, if you need to do it, yeah, whatever. And they'll tell their guitar tech, give him whatever he wants. And they'll give me handfuls of guitar picks. You know, I go on tour. I went on tour with Alice in Chains last summer as their opening act. And so I got like literally bags of picks that I can use to trade for other picks. Right. I can't believe you just got that out of me from out of nowhere. Dude, this is what I'm looking for. This is actually what I'm looking for right now. So 5701053, do you have a strange, bizarre, or nerdy hobby? Something that you do. That's an example. I guess that would be an example. So if you're into World of Warcraft,

2:32:09which is gigantic, but none of us on the show play it, they could call and convince us why World of Warcraft is so rad. That's what my freaking love of my life does to me every night with that game. Your buddy? Her buddy. Her friend. He plays the World of Warcraft. He's real good, and he will talk it up like it's a unicorn. I only want one. Rob. You know how people talk up unicorns. One of each, though. I don't want 20 World of Warcrafts. Just give me one. So, yeah, and I think that's perfect because it's a nerdy thing, but, like, we want to know, well, what is it? What is it about it? You have to convince us. Yeah, you got to convince us. Because I'm not convinced that what Craig does is cool. Make your case. I'm not even convinced that what I do is cool. I would have never, like, I just kind of thought, should I even say this? Because this is kind of gay. See, mine would have to be... And it's something that I don't think a lot of people do is that saltwater aquarium stuff. Oh, yeah. But I'm telling you, man, I'll put that chair in front of that aquarium and I'll just sit there sometimes and stare at stuff in that aquarium for like 20 minutes. It calms me down. Just saying I'll put that chair, like it's not even those chairs. There's just one chair. There's a chair that I have. Specific chair. I have a chair. It's a folding chair. It's a black folding chair. Sometimes I'll put it there and Jake knows the word coral now.

2:33:31So I said, you want to see the coral? And he goes running in there. And I'll sit on the chair. He'll stand on my legs and put his hands up against the glass. Really? And just, you know, check it out. Check it out. So, but that's the deal. Like, call us and make your case. Like, what is it you like? You may convince us, you may not. I do have some pretty rare guitar picks. Oh, here we go. Give me an example. Give me an example. Stevie Ray Vaughan. Before he died. Sweet. I got a hold of some of those. And I got some original Guns N' Roses picks from when they were still together back in the 80s. I have a suggestion. All right. I think that you should set a date. Oh, no. To organize? I think you should say that by January 1st, 2010, you will have them framed or whatever. Otherwise, you're going to be 90 years old. With Ziploc bags of picks. Or hermetically sealed. Right, right, right. But here's the thing. Almost everything I have is in storage now. I'm traveling so much. I don't even have a regular home that I can... I live on both coasts now. But I'm always on the road every other week. So it's hard for me to stay in one spot where I can get everything. When I get a home, it's looking like my life is taking me to Los Angeles. When I get a house, I will...

2:34:53Get those picks out. I'll probably have the picks out and ready and organized before anything is opened up in any of my other boxes. Right. Okay, we're starting to get some of these calls. P1 Combat Welder. Are you there? Let me see. P1 Combat Welder, you there? Yeah. Hey, what's up, Mikey? Not too much, dude. So what do you do? I build model cars. Now, how old are you? 25. Dude. I wanted to get into this. You're not going to have to do much convincing for me, but I didn't, I never got into it because I didn't have the time, but make your case. Why do you like this at 25 years old? Well, it's just cool because you like, you start from scratch. You got all these little plastic pieces. They're all like just one color and you kind of just start building it, build the engine and you start working on the body. You actually get into the body. Hang on. Now, hang on a second.

2:35:56Now, here's what I'm hearing. You're telling me how you actually do it, and I get that. I understand that. What you got to make your case for is, why is this enjoyable? Why is this going to be, why would someone else want to enjoy this? What is enjoyable about it? Well, you just, when you're done, you got this thing that you built from scratch. You know the whole process that it took you, you know, do from, you know, just these little pieces, and you paint it. And then once you get to the end, you got this thick-looking ride that you built. Sky. Like, I feel you about the process of building these, and maybe it's, like, therapeutic and gets your mind off the everyday junk. But what do you do with all of them when you're done? Like, don't they end up cluttering up the place? What do you do with them? Well, I built one for my fiance's dad, and I just keep them in a little shelf that I have. I know what it is.

2:36:52You know what else you get from it? What? Sense of accomplishment. That's true to finish something. Sounds boring. Well, Eddie. Oh, dude. Beyonce's dad. What is he? Yeah, what did you make him? Billy? What did you make him? I made him, I believe it was a 69 El Camino Real. I believe it was. Now, wait a minute. Now, did he ask you to or did you just do it? No, it's like his favorite car. I built it for... built it for him for Christmas. Nice. Like, his favorite car, so I just thought it'd be pretty cool, you know, just something he, you know. He actually has it on his TV in a little case. My dad would love that. Is it hard to do this, or could, like, anybody do this? It just takes patience. As long as you got patience, it really, that's all it takes. Sorry, Rob. That's boring. No, he's talked me into it. You made your case with me. Eddie's out. Oh, thanks. All right, Combat Welder, thanks. Now, You guys. What? We have to remember. Huh. First of all, two things to remember here. One, we're about to talk to a P1 Hall of Famer. Ooh. Cool. Two, we cannot judge. This is a safe place. Uh-oh. No, I don't. I'm nervous. P1 Space Boy. I don't work here. Uh-oh. P1 Space Boy. Hello. This is a safe place. We cannot judge. Now, you're going to... Space Boy's about to make his case. I'm nervous.

2:38:19For why he is in a band that writes and records music about Harry Potter. Now, hang on a second. Now, hang on a second. Now, Space Boy, make your case for this sort of off-the-beaten-path hobby. Okay, Space Boy, you're 13, right? No, he isn't. He is not 13. I think this is cute. Kids should be able to do stuff like this. Space Boy, how old are you? He's married. I am a 30-year-old married man. He's a 30-year-old married man. Now, Space Boy, make your case. What is it about this that is enjoyable? Okay, whenever I first started seeing Harry Potter, I thought it was kind of kiddy, kind of silly, kind of jokey. But the more I read it, the more the movies I watched, I'm like, this is really, really cool. So I came upon this thing last summer where there are hundreds and hundreds of bands all over the world that write and record music about Harry Potter. And I'm like, you know what? I can try that. So I gave it a shot. And it's really cool about the whole scene because everybody wants to be a rock star. And you already have a fan base.

2:39:32So all you've got to do is write the music, put it up there, and people are going to listen to it. They're going to download it. They're going to comment on it. You already have an audience. And do you find that you get a lot of this? People are downloading it, making comments, and they dig it. Actually, last Saturday, we had our first show. Oh, wow. Well, listen, let me tell you something. And you've got a big crowd, right? We had about probably 35 people, yeah. 1987, I played CBGBs with my band, the Urkel Jerkels. Wait a minute. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. Yes, I did, Mikey. Don't judge me. Don't you judge me. We all had big-ass glasses on, and we sang songs about Urkels. That's just not true. All our underwear was squeezed up in our buttcheeks. All right. You, the Urkel Jerkel. Thank you, Space Boys. It's P1 Spaceboy. I'm still looking for one of my testicles. Hang on, we have a clip here from the Urkel Jerkals. So let me play. This is just something recorded by the Urkel Jerkals. Yes! This is what I do. I sit on you. Sit on you. Sit on you. This is what I do. I sit on you. Right on your lap. But what that is... This is what I do. I sit on you. Sit on you. This is what I do. I sit on you. Right on your head. With suspenders. This is what I do. Sit, sit, sit, sit. My belt's at my nipple. You can see the color of my socks. This is what I do.

2:41:10I hope you enjoyed that. Eddie, are you ready to be convinced and let this person make their case? I was so thoroughly convinced of the Harry Potter band. This person is P1 Crafty and they want to make their case for collecting McFarlane football action figures. I have some. Wow. Here we go. Here we go. All right, P1 Crafty. Yes, sir. Eddie has some. Yes. So make your case for them, and let's see if maybe somebody like Sky or Ashley, if you're going to turn them into... I'll help. And Sky, ask questions. Sky and Ashley, ask questions that maybe there's something in there for you. All right. So go ahead, P1 Crafty. What is it that you love about these things? Well, I'm already a huge football fan, and I think Eddie can relate with me right off the top with that. Yeah, for sure. Secondly, I mean, ultimately, I have a son, and granted, it's not the best investment, but these are worth money. Yep. And the longer you hold on to them, the better. Wait, hang on. Sky's got a question. Now, do you leave these in the box, or do you take them out and you play with them? No, come on. My wife and I, we have a room in our house, no matter where we go.

2:42:35It was originally called the Bears room because I'm a Chicago Bears fan, but because I started buying these action figures, we had to rename it the football room. Every one of these figures is displayed on the wall, and I have about 250 to almost 300 figures. In the box? In the box? Dude. They're still in their packaging, but they're all sitting on the wall. Sitting on the wall? That doesn't make sense. Like on a shelf. Yeah, I'm a little obsessed. They're on a shelf. Well, what if your kid wants to play with them? Well, I would encourage him not to. Yeah, that's his investment. That's his college fund right there. That's right. Sky, do you see this as a good investment? Like, if he told me he took them all out and did, like, pretend, like, football games with them, then I'd be in. Then it's not worth anything. This is something that collects dust. I have a question. Go ahead, Ash. Take them out of the package, they lose their value. Well, okay. Ashley. All right. So, like, what's your plan of action with these? Why are you talking to him like that like a little kid? It's rude. So are you going to do anything with these? I understand that they're worth money, but will you ever collect? Yes, eventually I will. I'm the same way. I have so many Star Wars collectibles. I have a lot of McFarlane toys collectibles. Plus all my comic books. You will not sell them. I will absolutely sell them at one point. I absolutely will sell them at one point.

2:43:59I have X-Men 100 that is my prized possession. You could never give that to another human being. I will absolutely sell that at some point in my life. I do got to say, I had a guitar pick collection in 1993, a 300 guitar pick collection. And I sold it to help me move. I sold it for $750 at the time. So I have sold. I was such a strange kid that I wanted to collect baseball cards, but I didn't know anything about baseball. And so I would go down to the hobby store where they sold this stuff, right? And they also had cards of like movies. Yeah. So I'd buy that because I knew what those were. I didn't know who the baseball players were, but I saw Jaws 3 or Jaws 2. I actually saw Jaws 3 thing. I saw Jaws 3 about four times in a row because my parents were supposed to come pick me up from Jaws 3. They're complaining. It was 3D. It was great. Four times in a row? Because at Fashion Valley, I was 10, 12 years old. No, come on. And they left you at the theater? Yeah, I had to watch it three different times, Craig. It ended, and then I'd go back outside. Why couldn't you be like the rest of us and get out and sneak into the other theaters and watch other movies? I'll tell you why, Craig. I was a good boy. It's all gay. All the way. The Mikey Show is on.

2:45:26We're here at Sport Clips, the new just-for-guys haircutting place where all kinds of guys have turned out to see what the buzz is about. Hey, dude, how was it? I just got a perfect haircut with massaging shampoo and classic steam towel treatment. They get it right every time. Nice cut, nice price, professional stylist. Doesn't get any better than this. What do you think about Sport Clips? Great experience. There's sports on TV at every chair. I got to watch the game. It's packed here today, but no worries. You never wait long at Sport Clips. This place rocks. And free neck trims between cuts? You kidding? I'll be back. Now, here's an MVP looking guy. I got an awesome haircut, steam towel treatment, neck and shoulder massage. I went all the way. What are you waiting for? Sport Clips is now in your neighborhood. At Sport Clips, guys really do win. At Sport Clips, we know how to cut guys' hair. Go to sportclips.com to find the Sport Clips nearest you and treat yourself to an MVP. That includes a hot towel treatment and upper back and shoulder massage. It's the ultimate haircutting experience. At Sport Clips Haircuts, guys win. You guys like cricket? Yeah, how can you not? Because they want to treat you right. They don't want you to be in a dysfunctional relationship with your wireless provider. And not only that, they kind of have some cool stuff going on right now.

2:46:37Oh, yeah, they do. They're always about the cool things, what's going on. And right now, we're still kind of wintertime. If you go up to the mountains, I know looking outside, you don't think it. There's a lot of fresh powder. Well, that's what I'm saying, Eddie. There's a lot of good stuff out there. A lot of good boarding. That's not it. No, that's a different sport, Mike. So if you go to the nearest Cricut Wireless location right now, you can register to win a trip for two. to board on the snowboard super trip to Big Bear Mountain. Now, you got to hurry up because this ends March 9th. Well, if you want to, go into any cricket store for more information or what's the website, Sky? MikeCricket.com slash San Diego. When I walked into Jared, I felt immediately comfortable and at home. Every single person cares about what you come in there for. That's Jared. Jared, the Galleria of Jewelry customer, Ryan Moorman. I went in and I was over looking at some watches. The watch specialist, very knowledgeable, telling me stories about all the different watchmakers and just sharing his personal knowledge and obviously his passion for watches. Jared has five times the selection of ordinary jewelry stores. They're absolutely amazing and they have gotten a customer for life. If you're looking for a more extensive selection of fine Swiss timepieces, come to Jared the Galleria of Jewelry to see the new Tag Heuer Carrera collection, the elegant designs from Raymond Weil, the classic Movado Museum collection,

2:47:56the amazing Tissot T touchscreen watch, and the Balm and Mercier Riviera collection. All at Jarrett, the Galleria of Jewelry. It can only be Jarrett. Jarrett, now open outside Plaza Bonita Mall next to Outback Steakhouse and west of Mission Valley Mall off Interstate 8 on Mission Center Road. Starting to think about spring cleaning? Well, put up your feet and get up off the sofa, because Uncle Cow is revving up his vacuum with savings. Hey, how would you like to have a brand new 08 Dodge loaded? I mean loaded with everything you ever wanted and get $6,000 cash back. Nothing dusty about that deal. Trade me that old car. Even if I owe money on it? I'll pay it off. Sweep it right out the door. And I'll send you home in a brand new 08 Dodge loaded and give you $6,000 cash. Sounds like one brand new spanking deal of a deal. Bring out that mop and let me hear it again. Trade that old car. I'll pay it off. I'll send you home with a brand new 08 Dodge to give you $6,000 cash. And you thought spring cleaning was something you were going to dread. Tell them where to go, cowboy. Now take order. Worthington Dodge. We're in the car country. Mall in Carlsbad. Worthington Dodge. Open to bid that. Cashback offer. $6,000 factory rebate. Apply to the new 08 Dodge Ram 1500 quad caps. Only proof credit. It's the March Mayhem Sale this weekend at...

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2:51:34We go to such lengths while many other jewelers order their diamonds from a computer sight unseen because ours is the only possible way to select those diamonds with superior sparkle and brilliance. Also, it allows us to avoid the middleman markups, markups you'll pay at those other jewelers. That's why you always get a finer diamond for a lower price at Shane Company. Now you have a friend in the diamond business, the Shane Company. on Camino de la Arena, across from Mission Valley Mall. Open Monday through Friday till 8, Saturday and Sunday till 5, online at shaneco.com. The Mikey Show. Get your words on, yo, with Lyrical Gangsta. In the song, Can't Touch This, by MC Hammer, he says, My, my, my, my, music hits me so hard, makes me say, what? He says, my lord. I'll tell you something. Eddie and Sky know they're hip-hop. They're 90s hip-hop. The Mikey Show continues. Rock 105.3. Welcome back to the show. It's a Mikey Show. A little Craig Gass action. Craig sitting in on the show today. And tomorrow. It is 8.56. It turns out that Paris Hilton and her, quote, shaman, were part of a new Ashton Goldberg

2:53:13He was suspended for a game after a flagrant foul. We are going to give something a try that has been the most anticipated, most controversial. It has been the most controversial radio bit. of all time. This is Radio 9-11 right here. Now, wait a second. Hang on a second, Eddie. Wait a minute. Now, wait a minute. Before we get started, before we get started, I want to tell listeners that we really want to help Radies today. I really want to get people to call 1-800-258-0007 and

2:54:06Pledge at least $15 a month to the cause of Children's Hospital. Today's the 7th Annual Radiothon, and we would love to have people helping out. Call, you can do it with your credit card, and you can also go to the website, which is helpsdkids.org, and it's the Radies Children's Hospital 7th Annual Radiothon, and give to it. It is a great cause, and we'll be telling you more about it. uh today and tomorrow and try to get people uh that are interested in doing this yes so let's do this right now here's what we need 570-1053, I need to get two callers on the line. Eddie, stop staring him down. Now, Eddie, why are you... Eddie is staring at Craig. He can't wait to see how this is going to go, and I can't either. Now, here's how it's going to work. Hollywood Square. Hollywood Squares, 570-1053, we need an X and an O. So call us right now. We need a P1 to represent the X, P1 to represent the O. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to go down, I'm going to tell you who is in...

2:55:06All of the squares. I'm blocking them out. And we're going to play a game of tic-tac-toe. Craig is trying to block Eddie out and block out the vibe. Block out the vibe. And what we'll do is, I'll tell you what, whoever wins this trivia contest, I'll give you tickets to the comedy gig I'm doing at 4th and B. I'll give you tickets for you and all your friends. There you go. All of our friends? All your friends. What if they have a lot of friends? Well, we'll put a cap at like 10. There you go. There you go. What if you don't have that many friends? I got a problem. Better for me. This guy's got one friend. Yeah, I only have one. Fourth and B. We got a lot of room. Saturday night, 830. Now, 570-1053. Don't forget, Craig's show is not for the easily offended. It is not for the easily offended. A little dirty. And we figured out a way to get Christopher Walken involved in the opening of the show. It's going to be a big production. Since we got the lights and we got the sound, we figured out a way to do something really cool. And I'm looking forward to this. It's a really stupid way to open a show. There you go. A really stupid way to open a show. P1 Scotsman is on the line. Hello, P1 Scotsman. How's it going? Good, man. You're going to be the X's, okay? Right on. Hang on. And P1 1842 is on the line. Ah, yes. 1842? How are you, man? Great. Dude, you're going to be the O's. Awesome. Let's do it. All right. Let's do it. Now, first, let's introduce our squares, please. Oh.

2:56:26Who do we got today? In the upper left-hand square, ladies and gentlemen, Tom Arnold. Hey, buddy. What's going on, Mike? Good to see you. How are you, Tom? Let me play this game, man. These are celebrities. MySpace.com slash Tom Arnold. No, we got you. There he is up in the upper. I'm going to a meeting tonight if anybody would like to go. No, no, Tom. You're not supposed to talk. Don't talk about that. I'm sorry, buddy. Sorry. In the upper center square, ladies and gentlemen, Tracy Morgan is with us. That's right. Dirty rock. everybody. Dirty Rob. There he is. We're in a color track suit today, but all the same. That is beautiful. Run DMC, y'all, in the house. Upper right hand. I love you, Freckles. Upper right hand. I love you, Freckles. Thank you, Tracy. upper right-hand square. Ladies and gentlemen, Chris Walken is with us. That's right. Hi. It's good to see you. Chris, nice to have you here. I'm hoping that everybody makes it to the comedy show at 4th and B and you hear jokes like this. It should be fantastic. How do you make a tissue dance? I don't know, Christopher Walken in the upper right-hand square. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it. Got it. Got it. There you go. Right in the nuts. There's the joke. Three old nephew told me that one.

2:57:32In the middle left square. Middle left square, ladies and gentlemen, Sam Kinison. Hey, guys. What's going on? There he is. Hey, Sam. Chris, be back from the dead. There he is. I'll be back. And ladies and gentlemen, our center square, it's Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley. Oh, kiss. Hey, everybody. Hi, Mikey. How are you? That's good, Gene. How are you? I hope everybody's enjoying the sex tape. Oh, wait a minute. He's got a weird thing out there. And then finally, over in the middle right-hand square, Mr. Gilbert Godfrey is with us. Hi. How are you doing? Gilbert Godfrey. Welcome to... I never leave this square. Yes. Never do. You're always in that square. Yes. Middle right-hand square. And then, let's see, bottom left-hand square is Mr. Dennis Miller. How are you, Dennis? Hi, Mikey. How you doing? Nice to see you today. Good to see you. It's great to have you here. Look at there in the middle, the bottom middle square is Al Pacino. Hi, Mikey. Hello, Al. How are you? I'm doing great. Your dad and I actually worked on a movie together. Yeah, that's right. It was a Godfather Part 10.

2:58:43You never shared any scenes. No, you didn't. You didn't share any scenes. I was there that day, and what a fine actor. That's right. He really was. Love a star. That's right. Bottom right-hand square, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Adam Sandler. Hey, what's up? Oh, yeah. Adam Sandler. There he is. I'm a Jew. I'm a Jew. Let's get this thing going. Okay, well, that was weird. We're going to begin with you, Scotsman. You represent the X's. Which one would you like? Let's go with the center, Gene Simmons. There you go. Center square, Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley. Go to kissonline.com and check out the sex tape. All right, now thank you. Can I just say one thing about that? I would rather you not. Gene, you're getting it all wrong. When you look at the sex tape, people are so up in arms about the sex. Look in the background. That's the point of the video. There's a beautiful bed. There's a furniture set. All of that is for sale at kissonline.com. Wait a minute. Thank you, Gene. You know, it's true that that furniture set in the background is something that I actually handcrafted. That's Paul Stanley, ladies and gentlemen. That's right. All right. Gene and Paul, here is your question. Go ahead. This is for P1 Scotsman to get these center square. All right. Center square. Here we go. What famous document begins when in the course of human events...

3:00:01That is the liner notes from Kiss Alive 1. That is not. That is not the liner notes. No, no, no. I'm going to say the Declaration of Independence. That's what he's saying. Do you agree or disagree, P1 Scotsman? I disagree. Actually, it is the Declaration of Independence. If you would have gone to the history section of kissonline.com... No, no. It's a true story. Let's go over to you. There's actually more of an argument between Eddie and I that took place before the... during the commercial break. And if you want to hear that, go to kissonline.com. Thank you very much. All right. Let's see. P1 1842. You are the O's. Where would you like to go? Let's go back to the middle. There you go. Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley. That's right. It's up to you guys again. With our new line of Kiss Chili available right now. You do not have that. Your question is, what current branch of the U.S. military was a corps of only 50 soldiers when World War I broke out? You know, I know the answer to this. It's Paul Stanley, ladies and gentlemen. Well, I run the Kiss Army. I'm the leader of the Kiss Army.

3:01:18He's the leader of the KISS Navy. Yes, he is. We can tell by the shorts he has on. And I'm going to say the answer to that question is the Navy. And would you agree or disagree, P1 1842? I'm going to disagree. You would be correct in that. That's right. Congratulations. It is the U.S. Air Force. You get center square. Circle gets the square. Circle gets the square. And let's go back to P1 Scotsman. Where would you like to go? Big fan of Christopher Walken. Let's go top right. You got it. Christopher Walken. And he is top right. That's right. The question for you, Mr. Walken, is... Yes, Mikey. Who said, quote... Quote. You don't need to repeat that. I'm sorry. Let me ask you the question, and then you can tell me what you think the answer is. Here we go. Who said, I'm the president of the United States, and I am not going to eat any more broccoli? I think that was the guy who I worked in a movie with, Ronald Reagan. Christopher Walken says, Ronald Reagan, P1 Scotsman, agree or disagree? I'm going to disagree.

3:02:38That is correct. It was actually George Bush who said that he was going to eat more broccoli. And that means X. How do you say it, Eddie? X gets the square. X gets the square. All right. Let's go back over to you, P1 1842. Where would you like to go? We're going to go middle left. Middle left. That's Dennis Miller. No, no, no. Middle left. I'm sorry. Sam Kinison. Where's my cocaine? There he is. It's Sam Kinison. Sam Kinison. Yes, Mikey. It's very nice to have you with us. It's good to talk to you, buddy. You're back from the dead. We haven't talked to you for a while, so it's nice to have you here. Everybody, just make sure you wear seatbelts. Wow, that is certainly a creepy joke. Interesting. Sam Kinison, what so-called war spawned the dueling slogans better dead than red and better red than dead in the 1950s? The 1950s. Can you repeat the question, please? Yes, I can. Yes, I can, Mr. Kinison. What so-called war spawned the dueling slogans better dead than red and better red than dead in the 1950s? I'm going to say it was something known as the War of the Roses.

3:03:53Wasn't that a movie between Michael, what's Douglas, and the old lady? That would be, Mikey, that would be the Cold War. Let's see. Sam Kennison says the Cold War, 1842. Do you agree or disagree? We're going to agree with him. You would be correct. How could you say that? Circle gets the square. And we go back over to you. He's almost ready to win this game. That's right. P1 Scotsman, are you going to go for the block with Gilbert Godfrey, or are you going to go a different direction? I got to go with the block, Mikey. There you go. Hi, Mikey. How are you? It's Gilbert Godfrey. How are you? I'm about 4'10". We got you. It's nice to have you here. Why is he always squinting? I don't know, but he is squinting. I can't see. There's contact lenses. Squint a lot. Most Jews have a tough time sheet. Oh, that's not true. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Gilbert Gottfried. Yes. Yes. Your question is...

3:05:04What president was shot while walking to California Governor Jerry Brown's office? What president was shot while walking to California Governor Jerry Brown's office? U.S. President or Screed Actors Guild? Because I believe Melissa... I think he's trying to say Melissa Gilbert, but yeah, that was a strange reference, Gilbert. I'm going to say Ronald Reagan. Gilbert Gottfried says, Ronald Reagan, P1 1842, or excuse me, P1 Scotsman, do you agree or disagree? For the block, Scotsman! I'm going to agree. You are incorrect. Sorry, Scotsman! It was actually Gerald... Holy moly. Which means P1 1842 can end the game right here. I was squinting. You're supposed to read the signs. P1 1842, you can end the game right here with Gilbert Gottfried. Let's do it. All right. Your question is... Yes. Gilbert, so much pressure. Gilbert, who earned infamy for noting, quote, a billion dollars isn't worth...

3:06:33What it used to be. Gene Simmons. No, he did not. I don't believe it was Gene Simmons. Let's see. Who's another Jew? Hang on a second. Gilbert, every joke doesn't have to be about you being a Jew. Every joke does not. Okay, a Gentile. Who said that? Who earned infamy for noting, quote, A billion dollars isn't worth what it used to be. I'm going to say Bill Gates. Gilbert Godfrey says, Bill Gates, P1 1842, agree or disagree? I'm going to have to disagree. You are correct. And the appropriate theme music. We got a winner. We got a winner. Sorry about that, P1 Scotsman. Today is not your day. So we're going to have to let you go. But you just want tickets to some crappy comedy show at 4th and B on Saturday night for you and all your friends. People of the world, the Mikey Show is on. But at what cost? At what cost? This is The Rock. I love my salary for Hank. Boys in the tank. One day it changed to thank. Because I'm bringing back your favorite. Break the Bank at Saquon Casino.

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3:10:08It's the Pacific Life Open at Indian Wells Tennis Garden, March 10th through the 23rd. Featuring Rafael Nadal, Daniela Hantachova, Roger Federer, Maria Sharapova, Andy Roddick and more. Get tickets at 877-498-4107 or visit pacificlifeopen.com. Sky, there's only one place in San Diego that P1s should be going to get sunglasses, and that is Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. Yeah, Eddie, it's getting to be that time because the weather is getting beautiful out, and if you need to get a new pair of sunglasses, especially if you're a Mikey Show P1, Sunglass Optical Warehouse is the place for you. Yeah, they'll give you 10% off. You go in, you tell them you're a Mikey Show listener, tell them you're a P1, 10% off. That's huge. For locations and more details, check out their website, sunglassoptical.com. There's a couple of spots to be aware of right now this morning. Overall, the ride isn't too bad, though, really. If you head south from the 5, you will find some usual slowing kind of hanging on here out of Encinitas. Actually, it starts right around Santa Fe Drive down towards around Manchester. South 15, looking pretty good out of Escondido. Just a brief delay here to Carmel Mountain Ranch. Nothing too serious. Westbound 52, also a little bit tighter approaching Genesee and through San Clemente Canyon.

3:11:21We do have reports of a new accident. I'm sorry, westbound 52 before the 805 here. Emergency crews responding to this one. It's blocking the left lanes. Once again, that's west 52 before the 805. And in the East County, fire crews responding to a car fully engulfed here on old Highway 80 near Dunbar Lane, right in front of the Las Coaches Middle School. So use caution there as well. I'm Rick Lawrence on Rock 105.3. Mikey Show. Hey, Mikey, this is Tom. What's up, Tom? Hey, I want to let you know, I just bought a new truck through a local dealership. And I had never had insurance before. And if I would have went with the insurance that they offered, I would have been paying $1,500 a year. So I figured I'd check out AIS. I got the same coverage through AIS for like $400 and some change. Are you serious? That's for the whole year. I couldn't believe it. Oh, dude. I love hearing it. I can't thank you enough, man. Now I can actually make my payment. 1-800-777-500. It's 1-800-777-4247. That is so great, dude. I'm really happy for you. And I mean, for people that are listening right now that have heard me talk about AIS and have not called yet because they're like, it must just be those people or whatever. What would you say to people that have not called about AIS yet? I would say it's for real. Check it out. Yep. It worked for you, right? It worked for me. Thanks a lot, man. It worked for Tom. It can work for you. I appreciate you calling in, Tom.

3:12:411-800-777-4247. It's AIS. Tell them that I told you to call. I guarantee you, you're going to be so happy. Tracy is wearing an Adidas jogging suit. That's right. It looks great. Track suit. Yeah, it's a track suit. That looks great. Are you still wearing that ankle bracelet thing that detects the... That's smart. That is both pretty. Yeah, you think it's sexy, don't you? No, wait a minute. I like your freckles. I'm going to be at Falls and Beyond Saturday night. You want to buy

3:13:48A judge ruled yesterday that Britney Spears' dad will retain control of her estate for another five months. The Barry Bonds 756th home run ball with the asterisk will be on display in the Hall of Fame on opening day. Wow. With the asterisk on it. Yeah. Remember Mark Echo did that whole thing? He sent it to the Hall of Fame with that asterisk on it, and they're going to put it in Cooperstown. You know, when you think about it, by the way, I've got to read you an email in just a little bit. Craig Gass sitting in the studio with us today. And what else we got? Oh, I've got to tell you about the P1 Lunch. Yeah, the P1 Lunch. Let me mention that real quick. P1 Lunch is going to be a week from tomorrow. We're going to be out at Joe's Crab Shack, Mission Valley, noon to one.

3:15:10come on out and hang with us. That's all it is. It's just a hang. It's for an hour and you can eat if you want to. They'll have like a fixed menu you can order from like a buffet or you can order off the menu or you don't have to eat at all if you don't want to. So come on down and see us. It's going to be a week from tomorrow and it's from noon to one. It should be really, really cool. But anyway, oh, and then also I want to remind people to get in on the children's hospital thing, which... For us, it turned out to be a little bit of a strange thing again this year. We want to support Children's Hospital. We want you to support Children's Hospital. When you go to the website, it's going to ask you what station you heard it on, and we're not listed. So I don't know what to tell you. Just stick any radio station in there you want to, I guess, because they don't have us listed. Is there a write-in vote? Seriously. I'm going to go with WKRP. Put in WKRP. Go to helpsdkids.org and give to Rady's Children's Hospital. It's a cause that we love. You can also do it by calling. And I hope that you do, and I hope that you do it to support us, 1-800-258-0007, to support us and also to support these kids. If you could pledge $15 a month, you have no idea what kind of an impact that would make on a kid's life.

3:16:34And so please do that. Be a hero. Do something really cool for a kid. Make a one-time donation of $25, $50, $100. You can even do stuff on your credit card. The number, 800-258-0007. Let's see. If I could just say something. It's Tom Arnold. No, you can't say it. No. I don't know if it's appropriate for me to point out, but the reason I'm still here is because you guys never asked me a trivia question. You guys never got to my box. Well, that's how the game is played sometimes. On Hollywood Square, sometimes, Tom, your box, they never get to you. I have this overwhelming need to be validated. I was actually talking about this last night at a cocaine anonymous meeting. No, don't say that you had an anonymous meeting. I met a great guy named Jeff. I think it's Jeff. He had a lot in common with me and he was telling me because he works downtown. Don't say where he works. He runs the Embassy Suites. Don't say where he lives or where he works. It's anonymous, Tom. Tom, why do you sound like you have a cold? I always sound like I have a cold. I'm glad you brought that up.

3:17:46It's actually part of the night step that you will continue to sound like you have a cold. That's a true story. Don't say anything about it. Don't say anything about it. Why do you have like a white substance underneath your nose? I keep asking him about that too. Tracy Morgan is hanging out in the studio. I'm actually staying at Embassy Suites. You want to come with me, Freckles? Wait a second. I'm at the Embassy Suites. It's a wonderful hotel. She's a married woman. That is true. That is true. I got a suite at Embassy Suites. Well, I think all the rooms are suites. Mine's got a moat around it. I don't think that's true. You want to come stay at a castle at Embassy Suites? I don't think that's true, Tracy Morgan. Free breakfast in the morning. All right. It's a continental, yeah. Eggs made to order, baby. All right. Easy. Come on, Freckles. Hey, I got an email here. I want you guys to hear it. Tell me what you think of it. It says, Mikey, I have a real problem. I'm not sure what to do about it. My wife informed me that she wants to take our four-year-old to Disneyland this summer for the first time. This is a nightmare for me. I have a very real fear of mascots. Or people that dress up like Mickey Mouse. Oh, man.

3:19:03I'm not kidding. I always have. I can't even imagine going to a place where they are everywhere. Oh, man. It makes me, I'm quoting. Yeah. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Oh, wow. For real? Dude, I have never told my wife about it and I really don't want to. But I think I'm going to have to because there's no way I can go. Holy. No. I want my kid to have fun. But I just don't think I can do it. Signed, Poo and Trevor. Wow. That's like a real thing. Like people are afraid of mascots. People are afraid of everything. I'm afraid of rodents.

3:19:48Eddie's afraid of Shamus. Sky's afraid of being in closed places. All black people are scared of squirrels. That is true. All black people are scared of me squirrels. That's right. Tracy, are you afraid of anything, Tracy Morgan? Chip and Dale. Chip and Dale. Chip ain't any less scary than Dale. So, I don't know. What do you guys think about that? If dude's afraid of mascots, don't go to Disneyland if you're not afraid. Yeah, but what about his kid? Well, have her take him. He's got a fear. Okay, so what do you tell the kids? Why is the reason that daddy's not going? Well, daddy's afraid of men in costumes. Okay, so you tell the kids. But then the four-year-old, they believe that that's really Mickey Mouse. Well, of course. Get over it, guy. Go to Disneyland and face your fears, right? Why don't you face your fears? See, I don't know. Oh, really? Jake, later on down the line, has doing a science experience with rats. You're cool to help him? I will not help him, no. I will have my wife help him. You're a walking contradiction. Hang on a second. I will have my wife do that. In this particular case, this is something that is like, you can't have kids miss the experience of Disneyland. However, I do not believe that it's necessary. Well, first of all, it's not necessary to go to Disneyland, but it is a big part of a kid's life, right?

3:21:08Sure. Okay, okay. Now, having a rat in the house ain't... That's not like a big part of a kid's life. It's not like something that the kid's really going to be missing out on. He doesn't have a rat. Oh, but you can get extra credit if you take him over the summer. I'm not even talking about... Yeah, I'm saying like... From the science department. I'm saying like this is a legitimate science... You know, Jake's like nine years old. Why can't he do it in the garage? Well, whatever. He wants your help. Dad, can you help me with... No, no, no. I can't do that, son. Well, but face your fear, bro. I've abandoned my boy! Except when it comes to me. Yeah, I say definitely face your fears unless it's me. Oh, dude. Eddie, would you take your kid? Come on! No. Eddie, are you telling me that we live here in San Diego and you're going to miss out taking your child? First of all. You're going to abandon your child? First of all, I'm keeping him safe. Eddie, nobody's going to die. I'm keeping my child! Shamu and your child. Shamu is not going to jump out into the audience. Oh, really?

3:22:08kiss him on the cheek. Never. In a million years, never. He's lucky enough to get picked. He will not do it. He might give him a playful splash. Oh, really? Yeah. And then get sucked into the tank. Okay. Sucked in. How's that going to happen? Back wave. You've never heard of those? A back wave. I got to say, I relate to everything that Eddie's saying there because I have a fear of obese women. I was in a very bad... You do not have a fear of obese women. That's an actual fear. That was an actual fear. I see a therapist three days a week. Well, that's a dysfunction. but it's not necessarily a fear. I actually fear obese women when I'm on a plane and I see an obese woman get on the plane. What do you do, Tom? I break out in sweats. I think the plane's going down. Okay. Well, listen, this may be something that Tom is actually afraid of, but my question to you guys. I love painkillers, too. Thank you. You don't need to say that. You don't have to say that. Now, do we think that if the dad did tell the kid, hey, I can't go because I have a fear, Do you think that kid would pick up that fear? Like, be like, well, if dad's scared of it, then I need to be scared. Like, with Eddie and Shamu. Like, if he tells his kid that Shamu is the back wave. It should not be, Eddie. Sky, I specifically want to ask you, what if your husband had this exact fear? Aw, poor bunny boo. Okay, yeah, you would feel bad for him, right? I would feel horrible for him. Now, are you going to deny your child the experience of getting to be...

3:23:32And he is already saying, no way. She would force him to go. And he would be sitting there crying the entire time. I don't know. My first instinct is to lie to my child. No. Wow, you are an awful person. Just to say, a daddy's really busy. He can't come with us. But we're going to have a great time. That won't scar the kid at all either. Well, how will they know that I'm lying? I've abandoned my child. Their daddy's too busy for them. Well, no. Daddy would love to be here. But, you know, he's got to. Take care of Tango and Logan. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Mom, Mom, I don't understand. That's not my baby. I don't understand. Why does my baby go? Why can't he go? Well, Daddy already has plans. What is he doing? Well, he promised Grandma that he would help remodel her kitchen. And when you make a promise and you make a commitment, you need to stick to that. Fast forward two weeks later. Mommy. Yeah? Yeah. I asked daddy about that thing you said and he said that he wasn't there.

3:24:34Your daddy did not say that. Yeah, I asked him. He said he wasn't there. Baby love, daddy did not say that. Ew, gross. Now, Sky, it sounds like your kid has more problems than where's daddy. Well, this would have to be a very elaborate lie you would have to discuss. Well, I'd have to lie for the rest of my life. Well, but he would have to be on the same page. You guys both have the same story. No, I know it's not right to lie, but I don't think it's right to face. But yet, I do it all the time. I think it just depends on the kid's age. Like, if the kid's too young to understand what an actual fear of something is, then you don't want to burst the bubble of the mascot. Wait, are we serious with this mascot thing? Like, what are you afraid of, guy? That Mickey Mouse is going to, like, get you? Hey, Shamu! Hey, Shamu! Those are killer whales! It's in a friggin' tank! It's in a tank! It's in a tank! You're sitting in a friggin' tank! That's what they do! They kill! It's in their nature to kill. Mickey Mouse is in his nature to kill. Let me put on my pants. Let me put on my running moves. It's not killer mouse. It's in the name. P1 Adam is on the line. Can't survive outside the water. How are we going, Mikey? I'm good. How are you? I'm doing excellent. Just laughing at Skye. Full of crap. Why am I full of crap? Yeah, why is she full of crap?

3:25:54Just that old lion deer. Lion deer kid, man. We go to Disneyland. I got three kids. We go all the time. We just went on Tuesdays. The mascots are running around all over the place. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on a second. You're missing the point, Adam. The point is, dude's afraid of mascots. Yeah, but you don't see them that often running around at Disneyland. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, you're telling me they ain't there? What if he does see one? What if he does see one and freaks out? Wait, wait, wait. Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam. He sees the mascot. At the same time, his child sees the mascot. He goes, Daddy. I want to see. I want to meet Mickey. Mickey Mouse. Have fun. Go for it. Let your child run off. Yeah, wait a second. So Sky's a bad parent, but you're saying, well, see you later, son. Go off with that stranger in the suit. Yeah. He'd be at Space Mountain at nine. Dude, that's the thing. He can't go with the kid because he's afraid of the mascot. He'd abandon my boy. He'd abandon his boy. I'm a child. I'm a child. He's going to buy the churros. P1 Bobby. Bobby, what do you think? I think that if he goes and he sees the mascot and he starts screaming in front of his kid...

3:27:28Right. Then that's going to be worse than lying to him or just not going. She's right. I think if I saw my daddy screaming. Yeah. I will be afraid forever. That's forever. That's forever. Thank you very much. That's crazy. Great point. I agree. The Eddie line is ringing. Oh, wow. Check this out. Oh, I don't know. Yellow. Hello, is this Eddie? Oh, is this Barbara? Yes, it is Barbara calling in. Hi, Barbara. Hi. Do you have thoughts on this subject matter? Yes, I was just listening, and I actually have a lot of experience with this. Oh, you do? Yeah, I too was afraid, very afraid of mascots. Really? Yeah, I was. I didn't think anybody else would be. Yes, and I met a wonderful doctor. I actually met three doctors. This is when I was in Arizona. I was president of the Homeowners Association. Okay. And I ended up meeting about three doctors. Okay. And I was trying to get prescriptions for painkillers and dogs.

3:28:27Also for some depression drugs. But they wouldn't give them to me because I still came up on the computer from Ohio. And so what I would like to suggest... to this gentleman who's having a hard time with the mascots is take lots of prescription medication. No, don't say that. Every time, that's your advice. Barbara, he's going to be around his child. He shouldn't be all medded out. If you chase it with wine... No, that's not very bad. Barbara! need to talk to our friend Tom, who's in a program who can maybe help you. Tom, are you there? No, don't talk about it now. Tom Arnold? Yeah, what's going on, buddy? Well, first of all, ma'am, first of all, I'm not a buddy. My name is Barbara. And I was just calling in because I thought that the gentleman that's afraid of the mascots could probably cure the whole thing if he just takes treatment

3:29:29prescription drugs. Well, you know, I'll tell you something there, buddy. You shouldn't rely on... Let me see if I get this right. My sponsor, nice guy named Jeff. Talk about it. He tells me that you shouldn't rely on... Oh, wait a second. Are you talking about the guy from the Cocaine Anonymous meeting? That's right. Oh, wait a minute. The guy that works at the dealership, the car dealership? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, wait a minute. Now, he's friends with... John Kirkpatrick, that's right. That's right. John, the guy who had the problem with the prescription pills. Can we hang up on Barbara, please? Listen, Barbara, anyone doesn't have a hang-up button. Oh, no!

3:30:14Well, guys, anyway, Tom, if you want to, I'm going to be going with Jeff Samuelson to the 2 o'clock meeting. That's Jeff. That's the guy who works at SeaWorld, right? Yes, it is. And I'll meet you. We'll both meet you at that meeting at 3 o'clock. How's John doing after his relapse? Oh, are you still there? Wow, that's Steve. If he says one more cool thing, There's no place in California with more fresh snow than Mammoth Mountain. Mammoth received huge amounts of snow in January and February, laying down a massive base for a long season of skiing and snowboarding still ahead. March and April are drive time at Mammoth with big snow and big fun under the California sun. With great midweek lodging packages, Mammoth is a value that can't be beat. Winter Paradise can be yours as soon as this weekend. Call 800-Mammoth or visit mammothmountain.com and get on the road to California's favorite mountain resort.

3:31:16Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. It's going to be a smooth flight today. I want to draw your attention to the left side of the cabin. A gentleman at 14B with a dynamite haircut. The stylist should be proud. Relax and enjoy. Your captain again. Just a little more info on that haircut. A flight attendant informs me he went to Supercuts. How about it? I'm going to write that down. Supercuts. Folks, I'll tell you what. I'm going to go ahead and turn the fasten seatbelt light on again, but only for the guy with the Supercuts haircut, so... Feel free to move around, take a camera, sneak a peek, he's in 14B. Nice going, guy. For a haircut you just can't shut up about, go to the best stylist in the business. Supercuts. Every time. Over 2,000 reasons to get your next trim at Supercuts. You know what they say. Location, location, location, location, location. Call 1-800-SUPERCUTTS or log on to supercuts.com for the, heh, location nearest you. From Rogue Pictures and the Director of the Descent. Yes!

3:32:18There's no system. Rules. If there's such a thing as hell on Earth, that's it. That's just for starters. You think? Violence, language and some sexual content and nudity. Under 17 not admitted without parent. In theaters Friday, March 14th. Thinking about getting your hands on some new musical gear? Well, Guitar Center's got 31 reasons to come in this weekend and play. Reason 1. The annual green tag sale is going on now. Every green tag means savings of 20% and more off our everyday low price. Reason 10. Special 12-month no payment, no interest financing. Reason 31. And maybe the best reason of all. The gear's set up and you can play all you want. Guitar Center. We help people make music.

3:33:43something smells a little fishy about that used car you're buying it may have been damaged in a flood they may be rotting from the inside out and they're just not safe ask your dealer for a free carfax vehicle history report or go to carfax.com you don't have to travel far to get away escape to the hotel del coronado experience the new spa fine dining at 1500 ocean and great shopping all in one place Rates start at just $2.95 per night. Call 800-HOTEL-DELL or visit Hoteldell.com for reservations. 105.3 Traffic. Brought to you by Sleep Train Mattress Centers. Well, the ride's looking pretty good right now. No big major problems. There was a bit of an incident for a while there. Westbound 52 near Convoy. It's blocking lanes, but it's now out of the way. Everything's back to normal, so that's a good-looking ride for you. The South Ponset of the 5, just a brief delay down that coastline now from Birmingham Drive down to Manchester. Then you're good to go. 715 looking great out of Escondido. No worries here. A minor slowdown maybe through Carmel Mountain Ranch, but nothing you can't handle. East County and South Bay rides are up to speed moving right along, so just enjoy the fine ride for a fine-looking day. Don McLaurence on Rock 105.3. Mikey Show. Hey, Mikey. What's up? It's P1 Matt. Hey, I just want to thank you for hooking me up with Sleep Train. Went there two days ago. We got a Stearns and Frogster just like you, and...

3:35:03Went to Santee Sleep Train. We got the bed for a price that I can't even mention on the radio. And then they gave us all the accessories, the sheets, the really nice bed frame, the mattress cover, you name it, everything half off. You slept on it yet? No, we get it delivered tonight. Lucky. Can't wait. I love it, dude. We didn't get the exact same one you got. They showed me the one you got, but we got one of the other surgeons and fosters, and they're all nice. Lucky. That's awesome, dude. That makes me happy. Call me back and tell me tomorrow morning how your first night's sleep was on that sleep train mattress. Yeah, I might have to take Friday off. I'll be feeling too rested. I'll have to go take an exercise. Or maybe we can join them. Yeah, for a nap. Is it cool if we come over and take a nap later? Let's not. Yeah, the show... We got the California King. It's big enough for everybody. There you go. Thank you for the call. You guys having a killer time? Thank you. Sleep train's your ticket to a better night's sleep.

3:36:01Now, here's something you may have missed this morning on The Mikey Show. We're going to do a little Craig Gas Theater. And so what we do in Craig Gas Theaters, we recast these movies. And so this time, instead of Javier Bardeen playing the role of Chigurh, it's going to be none other than Tracy Morgan. Oh, wow. Is there something wrong? You asking me? Is there something wrong with anything? Is that what you're asking me? The quieter looks at him. Uncomfortable looks away. Mister, is there going to be anything else? You just asked me that! You just asked me that! The Mikey Show continues on The Rock. Yeah! They're all here. Christopher Walken, Tom Arnold. That's right, buddy. Happy birthday, Tom Arnold. Thank you. Glad you pointed that out. If you go to Wikipedia, you'd actually learn that. Tom Arnold is how old today, Sky? Do you want to say it? You're 49 today. 49 years old today. 49 years young. Happy birthday, Tom. It's really nice. Thank you, Mike. Would you like to have Ashley sing you a happy birthday? I would like that, actually. She is a fantastic singer. Ashley, would you like to honor Tom Arnold with a little happy birthday? Sure. Happy birthday to you. I like it. Happy birthday to you. So far, so good. Happy birthday to you. There you go. Clear that right up. Very nice. We actually got you this beautiful rum cake.

3:37:36I'm not allowed to have that. I'm actually not allowed to participate in fun things like that. No, you're not supposed to think of it as fun. It's all in how you wire the brain. If you guys want to come down to 4th and B, I'll be in the audience. You can bring me a cake. You can bring me a Quizno sandwich. I don't know if they have Long John Silver's here, but I'm a big fan of not only the chicken planks, but the crispies. It's a strange thing to ask people for. And if they do well, you've got to ring the bell. Tom Arnold. Thank you, Tom. I'm just saying. A few things to let you know about. One of them is Harry Potter is having death threats against him. Oh, no. I'm sorry, Spaceboy. The actor Daniel Radcliffe is actually facing some challenges right now. Spaceboy's very upset. With death threats. What's the deal, Skye? Well, they said that death threats have been called into the Warner Brothers studio. You know, Daniel Radcliffe is currently filming Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Yes, a big, big movie coming up. And so I guess they're really, really concerned for his welfare.

3:38:39and they've taken all these steps to try and avoid him getting killed. He switches cars. He's not using the same driver. He uses different cars every day. He's learning new spells. Sometimes he takes a broom to work. Sometimes he takes a car. Sometimes he tries to switch it up. Yeah, they say he has something called a chase car, which follows him. Rob's got one of those called a cop. So if anybody is trying to follow him, the chase car can try and block them from following his car. Very concerned about him. Bill Gates is no longer the richest man in the world. Get out of here. He is no longer. In fact, he's numero tres. He's now number three. Yep. Warren Buffett. Guess who's number 8,284, Sky? Oh, snap. Really? Is that true? Number 8,284, baby. That's right. Take that, Eddie Murphy. You want to stay at NBC Sweets now? Now I'm thinking about it. I got a couple words for you, Sky. What?

3:39:37Wait a minute. Wait a second. Now, from the original or from the Rihanna remix? Both. Wow, that's pretty impressive. Wow, that is a Michael Jackson song. Take that with you, Freckles. That's really good. Warren Buffett now is in the number one spot. Margaritaville? How many copies did he sell? Hamburgers in Paradise? Cheeseburgers. Whatever. Hold the cheese. It makes some people toot, so you just hold it. You put it on the side, and then the boo can eat it. I think that's how it works. Put it on the side. So he is worth an estimated $62 billion, which is up $10 billion from last year. 10 billion in a year. What's this guy's name again? Wait a second. You don't need this guy, Tom. Where does he live? Warren Buffett. He's the richest man in the world. Richest man in the world. What does he do? He is the head of Berkshire Hathaway Company. Of course. Oh, yes. Is he a fan at all in the movie True Lies? Anybody got any info on that? I don't know about that, Tom. There's no info. Don't know anything about it. Did you guys hear about this? They're doing a man-made flood in the Grand Canyon right now. Yeah. They're opening up these big, gigantic,

3:41:01Tubes of water and they're flooding the Grand Canyon. Isn't that going to cause problems? No. Actually, the reason they're doing it is to help restore the Grand Canyon's ecosystem. Something to do with restoring sandbars down the river. Yeah, who knows? Get into a pool. Yeah, so they say 300... Get into a pool? I'd be down with that. That'd be cool. 300,000 gallons of water. per second are being dropped in there. They say that's enough to fill the Empire State Building in just 20 minutes. Why would you want to do that? Just in case you need to visualize how much water that is. Somebody left a window open. Oh, great. Well, we've got to do it all over again. Great. Thanks. Where's my rubber duck? Great. Cheryl Crow says Jennifer Aniston was the one who ended the marriage with Brad Pitt. I don't really know how she knows that, but that's what she's saying. Because they're BFs, dude. That's crazy. That is crazy. There they are. Yep, they're BFs. She says that once Jen saw the writing on the wall about, you know, the marriage kind of starting to crumble, she just realized it was broken beyond repair and decided to end it, according to Cheryl Crow. Interesting. Jessica Alba, who are you going to support in the presidential race? Cut 23.

3:42:26I think he brings so much hope and light and a really positive change to our country. She's talking about Hillary. Well, that's what... Who do you think she was talking about? McCain or Obama? Change. Well, she used the word change, didn't she? Obama. So it's definitely Obama. Lindsay Lohan talking about some of her upcoming projects. Cut 24. How long till we see you again on the big screen? I'm getting ready to gear up to do some films this summer and this spring, which is exciting. And I'm recording right now as well. How much fun is that, the recording side of it? It's so much fun. It's great. It's very therapeutic for me. It used to have to be a triple threat. You used to have to sing, dance, and act. Like in Margaret and all of those things. But I saw you at Wango Tango three years ago, and it was a great performance. And it was like... 70,000 people. I slid down on the stage, I remember, and I cut my whole knee. I got so into it. They're so talented. Yes, Wango Tango. Wango Tango's huge, actually. What is it? It's a huge concert that I think Kiss FM puts on in LA. A lot of kids smoking weed, Mike. No, I don't. I don't think that's their image.

3:43:41I think she'll get an Academy Award for this picture. No, she will not. I don't think she will. She's the opposite. She's the opposite of a freaking triple threat. I'll tell you that right now. Oh, Ashley. She takes herself so seriously. The Marilyn Monroe pictures and like the, oh, like everyone's got to be able to see and dance and act. It's a freaking dress and leggy. Thank you. It's all it is. You were in Parent Trap, dude, and rehab like five times. Oh, wow. What else? Your one-hit single? Tough love it is. Tough love. I can't tell. Do you like her? Over her. Over her. Oh. I don't know that you were ever into her, if we're being honest. I really wasn't. You're right. In an interview with Fox News. You know, Rosie used to be just like this with Cardi Wilson all the time. It was very catty between those two. Those two actually didn't go on. She used to talk crap, and I'd be like, what's the big deal, honey? And she'd say, well, I hate that bitch. And I'd say, all right, well. I was on Painkillers the whole time, but I didn't feel a thing. Tom Arnold. Thank you, Tom. Just making stuff up. TomArnold.com. Thank you, Tom. Yeah, we got it.

3:44:41During an interview on the Fox News Channel, Hillary was asked about Rush Limbaugh, who is encouraging his listeners to vote for her. How much he's against John McCain? Cut 22. Over the last week or so, Rush Limbaugh has been suggesting to his listeners, Republicans, conservatives mainly, to go ahead in Texas and Ohio to vote for you. What's your message to Rush Limbaugh today? Be careful what you wish for, Rush. Is that it? I think that's it. Do you think you wound up with some crossover Republicans? No, I don't. I don't think so. I think that, in fact, there was a concerted effort I know of in Texas to get Republicans to vote for Barack. But, you know, at the end of the day, what difference does it make? Sky. Yeah, the reason Rush wanted people to vote for Hillary is because... He relapsed. No, no. That's my guess. That's what I know. I wouldn't go to that conclusion. It's because he doesn't want the Republican nominee to go against Obama. They want Hillary to win because they're easier to beat. It's easier to beat. I gotcha. That makes sense. I think that he's right in that. Obama is going to be tough to beat. It's not easy. A guy can give us change, Mike.

3:46:06Yeah, but what does that mean exactly? It doesn't really matter. It means four quarters to every dollar. We're waiting on the world to change. Everything's going to be different now. That's right. That's right. I believe in that. So he's promising jet cars is what you're saying. Yeah, well, it's change, I guess. I don't know. Cool. I'm in on that. Like new ways of listening to music. New choices of jack-in-the-box. That's right. But they're keeping the poppers, right? Yeah. Oh, look. Here comes the new breakfast menu. The new Ford Explorer, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, there it is. Oh, I can't wait to go to Out of Spain. Brand new engine. Have you guys heard about the banned Gnarls Barkley? The banned Gnarls Barkley video from MTV? This is really a trip. So they will not allow... MTV says no to this new Gnarls Barkley video. And the reason that they do is because it will not pass the so-called Harding test. What's that? Well, it's a video. By the way, this video is Norris Barkley with Justin Timberlake in it. And the Harding test is a test. Tanya? No, no, no. That's Tanya Harding. It's a test that measures guidelines for establishing prevention of epileptic seizures. What the heck? In other words, if it flashes on the screen too much, it'll give you a seizure. Cut 44. Atlanta GA. Norris Barkley. Sounds like a blur.

3:47:34out of a barrel, man, like, and so it was a proper way to allow us to reintroduce ourselves, you know what I'm saying, like, we are Noms, Rock Lee, you know, better run for your life. You know, all of those old damn shows, American Bandstand, and, you know, of course, us being from Atlanta, so Atlanta jams and stuff like that, I mean, like, you know, 80s garb and attitude and choreography, you know, so just to contrast that up against, you know what I'm saying, like, the brand new thing that we're doing, As far as sonically, you know what I mean? Like, it was just a trip. I couldn't even make any sense of that fat dude. Yeah, wait a second. Hang on a second, Tracy. I like his style. He's crazy. Yeah, you can't put that on TV, though, because it will give people epileptic seizures is what they're saying. The lights are flashing too much. That's right. That's true. This is my question. Yes. How are, like, I don't know. How is, like, that...

3:48:30not allowed on TV, but yet it's allowed for, like, the paparazzi to be, like, flashing pictures, like, in celebrity's faces. That's a good question. Especially Britney Spears, like, hours upon hours upon hours. Yeah, but we don't know that she's epileptic. Well, Ashley has mentioned this before. You believe that there may be a connection between all those flash bulbs and her craziness. Right. I really do. I really do. It's a theory, but I just, because whenever I would watch those videos. I thought it was a drugs and alcohol, but it could be. I personally think that the paparazzi and the flashing of the photography has a lot to do with it. Listen, we don't know. That's a thing. I think it's kind of an interesting point. What if? One time I played Xbox for 19 hours. Yeah. And all them lights was coming. I was on PCP too. Wait a minute. Hang on. I just went busting through the wall like Kool-Aid. Oh, yeah. My friends didn't even stop. They said, hey, come back with some Doritos, Kool-Aid. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like a coma. Five-three. When you think of a new home, how do you feel? If it brings to mind all the things you have to do to make a move,

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3:51:14I love the deal. Bring out that mop and let me hear it again. Trade that old car. I'll pay it off. I'll send you home with a brand new 08 Dodge to give you $6,000 cash. And you thought spring cleaning was something you were going to dread. Tell them where to go, cowboy. Now take orders. Worthington Dodge. We're in the car country. Molly and Carlos Bed. Worthington Dodge. Open to a bid. Cashback offer. $6,000 factory rebate. Applies the new 08 Dodge Ram. $1,500 quad caps on proof credit. Woo! Jared, the Galleria of Jewelry, is proud to present the peerless diamond, the ideal, ideal cut diamond. What is the most beautiful diamond? Of course, that's largely a matter of personal preference, but since it's true that the precision of the cut brings out the beauty of the diamond, you owe it to yourself to see the Peerless Diamond, available only at Jared. Peerless Diamonds are certified by two independent laboratories, one that measures the quality of the diamond itself and how precisely it's cut, while the other shows that your Peerless Diamond achieves the highest ratings possible when it comes to the display of light.

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3:53:22It was way easier. It took me like two minutes on the phone driving down the freeway. You said $300 every six months, so $600 a year. Yeah, it probably would have cost me, you know, it went up to like $800 after I got an accident from Nebraska, and then it went down to like $400 a year. Dude, that's awesome. So it's pretty crazy, so I appreciate it. Thank you very much, and yeah. Congrats, bro. All right, thank you, dude. We'll see you. There's Steve. Steve or Steven, I don't remember. You said Steven? Listen. Call AIS right now. 1-800-777-4AIS. 1-800-777-4247. That guy's story could be yours.

3:54:04So, Carol, have you ever been on a blind date? First one. Me too, but I really feel a connection. How about you? Uh... Hold my hand. Carol, these are my parents. You and Steven are perfect together. Call us mom and dad. No. Do it. This is ridiculous. So, about the wedding. Here comes the bride. Wedding. Something small and inexpensive, I agree. Big weddings are just too pricey. Dad, go find out if the maitre d' can marry us. Oh, sure he can, Steve-o. Meet my divorce attorney. Steven, sign here. But what about the kids? I love you, Mama. I'm out of here. Fast and inexpensive. Bad for dating, good for internet connections. AT&T Yahoo High Speed Internet. Download pictures, music, and stream video on the fastest internet for the price. Plus $50 cash back on select speeds when you sign up for AT&T Yahoo High Speed Internet. Call 1-800-PICK-ATT or visit att.com. The new AT&T, your world delivered. Claim based on major broadband providers, non-promotional pricing is advertised online. Cashback redemption required. New customers to qualifying service. Requires qualifying local and LD services. Expires 5-2408. For details, call 1-866-416-6471 or go to att.com slash offer details. I missed the March 2nd deadline. That's okay. You can still apply for financial aid. It's available year-round. What's the hurry, son? I think I've missed the financial aid deadline.

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4:01:13And then you hit it. And then you say, hit it. See, Sean, you hit it like way too early. And if you hit it after Mike does his thing, then it's appropriate. Are we actually on the air? Sean doesn't get it. San Diego. The conversation from off air just kind of bled into on air. Yeah, we don't change. K-I-O-Z. Yeah, we don't put on like a peace voice. San Diego. Budweiser. Oh, wow. Little Mama Sour. Yeah, that's sad. Little Mama Sour. You got Big Mama Ranch and Little Mama Sour. I'll take it. She likes it. K-I-O-Z San Diego. Is this the Neil Diamond song? K-I-O-Z San Diego. Keep saying that. Because you got to hit it. K-I-O-Z San Diego. Hit it. Thank you. Welcome back. We are helping to support the 7th Annual Radiothon today. Call them up. 1-800-258-007. Or excuse me. 0007. Oh yeah. And we want people to give the children's hospital. You pledge 15 bucks a month. You could really make a difference in a kid's life. And what just happened over there? The children.

4:02:59gold in here. I thought it was from what Mike was saying. That's very emotional. It means a lot. You could also make a one-time donation, $25, $50, or $100. It would be awesome. Use your credit card. Sorry, that's me. And you could also go to their website, helpsdkids.org. Very nice. John Mayer was just a guest guitarist on a Fall Out Boy song. Oh, good. Really? Cut 45. I can play this part on guitar. Green, red, yellow, Thank you. That is the new, but I guess the whole thing, John Mayer's playing guitar. I don't know. It says he's on there. I don't know if it's just the solo part or if it's through the whole thing. Not really able to tell. Anyway.

4:04:55That wasn't the chick from American Idol? It was not. It was not the chick. Hey, how did Amanda Overmeyer do the other day on American Idol? Last night? Yeah, yeah. She actually won over the judges. She did really good. Usually, what do you call her, Eddie? Elvira? Yeah, she's definitely Mistress of the Dark. She picked a song that her voice made sense to, so she actually sounded pretty good. Cut six. I'm pushing it. Thank you. We don't need to sing along. I liked that a lot. That was like the Monday Night Football theme song right there. It was good. It's time for Monday night. This is the voice you hear in the next trailer. I don't know why that sounded like Adam Sandler. Kind of did though. Sorry. Let's see.

4:06:38What else? Well, then, you know, this girl, Christy Lee Cook. Yeah. Who's one of these girls who looks different every time he's here. Yeah. It's kind of weird. Yeah. She did faithfully. And I thought it was horrendous. Oh, the worst. But the judges liked it. And I was like, dude, you got to give that a listen. That's pretty bad. I had to change it. I think it's cut 10. And then come back to the judges. Yeah. Christy Lee Cook, cut 10. I think they just like the song. Yeah, chick should sing. No one. Shot the dog. Movie Monster. Christina Ricci and the loving scene with Christina Ricci and Charlize Theron. That was really beautiful. Steve Perry. Great singer. Guy's rolling over in his grave. He's not dead, Eddie. Steve Perry's still with us. I actually saw him at a meeting. Tom, you don't want to give stuff like that away. Definitely don't want to give stuff like that away. Hey, you guys listen to this show. It's cool.

4:08:15Just because he's not listening doesn't... Yeah, that's not a good thing. He doesn't even have a computer or anything. But man, does that guy have a problem? He was telling me that... I didn't know that you could have fun with NyQuil. I never looked at NyQuil as recreational. You don't want to say that. At least that's wrong. I will begin the comedy show on Saturday night and 4th of B with a serenity prayer to start the show. No, you will not. No, no. Probably not a good idea. Nice of him to come by, but he's got to go. In honor of fourth and me, we're going to start with the fourth step, which I believe... Okay, thank you. That's Tom Arnold. Get your records back from your ex-girlfriend. Appreciate it. Thank you. The Senate is finally taking action on this whole toys with the lead and the paint and the whole thing. They're doing something about it. What are they going to do, Scott?

4:09:11So the Senate could vote as early as today on a bill that would basically double the agency's budget, the one that's in charge of making sure that these products are safe. The paint committee. Yes, I believe that is what they are called. Their actual name. The paint committee, yeah. So to double their budget. I heard Gary Busey's heading that up. Really? Yeah, I heard the same thing. Paint stands for personal attitude inside. negligence throughout. Thank you. Thank you very much. Take care of your head by wearing your helmet. The measure they're voting on also wants to set up an online database that everybody could access to let you know what toys have done what. So if one kid in Ohio choked on a certain toy, there will be a website that will tell you how many injuries and deaths. What Sky is saying is actually 100% accurate. That's why I believe Sky, which stands for Superior Killer, yes. I never knew that about you.

4:10:20Killer. Yes. Creepy. I thought it stood for steroid kind yes. That's not what it is? It's funny, Mike, because when you invert it like that, I can see where you're coming from. Do you like it when I talk to you this close? No, actually, Gary, I don't. Gary, I don't like it when you talk that close. I cannot penetrate your temple unless I'm at least a foot away from you. You guys, you were both wrong about what sky stands for. It stands for sunburned Kaiser, yes. Oh, that makes sense. That look. Eddie, that you just got from Sky. That stood for sun-kissed kind of yo-yo. Huh?

4:11:08Isn't that right, Gary Busey? I have actually been told, and I have not found this to be true, but someone told me that Sky stood for squeezing the kindness out of you. That is special. I like that one. I don't know if that's the deal. I don't know if that's the thing. Stop breaking down my name, please. 570-1053 is the phone number. At the beginning and end of every show. What do we do, Mikey? Open phone segment. Open phone. It actually stands for Star Trek Klingon Yes. Oh, wow. Thank you, George Takai. Where's the T? There's no T in Sky, George Takai. There's no what in Sky? There's no T for Trek? There's no Y in me. As a fellow gay man. Thank you. Are you Chinese or Japanese? I'm neither one. I'm Korean. No, you're not Korean. He's saying that you're not Korean. He's Japanese. Yes, I am. Stop it. George Takai. You have no idea what I am. Can I tell you something, Mr. Takai? Yes, go ahead. One time on a real badass trip, I thought I was in Vietnam. Yes. And I find you people to be very polite and pleasant. I appreciate that, but the truth is I am actually Mandarin. No, you're not. Neither of you is actually a black.

4:12:40Creepy laugh. Mikey Show, hello. Hey, this is P1's Sean-a-phobe. Hi, Sean-a-phobe. What's going on? Hey, you know what? I just want to say you guys are great, man. You guys had me busting up in my car all morning. Awesome. Thank you very much. That's P1's Sean-a-phobe calling in. He's a fan of Sean. Busting up. Mikey Show, hello. Hello. Am I on the air? Yes, you are. Am I on the air? Yes, you are too, Gary. I thought I was going to be screamed. I wanted to just give Rob a hard time because he watched American Idol instead of reruns of UFC and WEC. What about that, Rob? What do you say? I'm sorry, sir. No, you're supposed to say God bless you. Mikey Show, hello. He's hanging drapes at the time. Good morning, Mikey. Oh, I love doing that. Quimby! Quimby! Hello! What's up? Well, shut up. Sean. Sean does not like Quimby. He doesn't like her. I don't know why. I don't understand, Sean. I bought you sanitary gloves. Seriously? And napkins. What more do you want from her? What is a Quimby? Oh, hang on a second. Gary Busey. Gary Busey, get out of here. Quimby is one of our Hall of Fame P1s, and she's been around for a long time. We're all big fans of Quimby.

4:13:57Well, I love you guys, too. Yeah, go ahead. Hang on a second. Gary Busey looks like he's been trying to say something. Quimby, I want to say that I feel God coming through in your voice. Wow, how about that? That's nice. Very nice. Well, thank you. Thank you. So I'm just calling to let you guys know. What is your question, sir? Wait a minute. Quimby's actually a woman. So, Gary, I don't know that that made a lot of sense. Oh, Lord. Okay, so I know it's... I know Skye and Eddie will be really, really proud to hear this. What? I quit smoking. Nice, Cindy. I am not proud of that. I'm really upset about it. Skye and Eddie are actually both really happy about it. Eddie encourages, I mean, Mikey encourages people. Yeah, I'm definitely pro-smoking. Yeah, you like cigarettes to little children. I can see how they'd be proud of you, but I'm extraordinarily disappointed. I know, you hate me, right? Yes, very disappointed. Well, I always promised myself I'd quit before my 30th birthday, and it's on Sunday, and it's over.

4:14:58Oh, look at you. Congratulations. That's awesome. Quimby, do you raise alpacas? Because I would like to buy 300. Okay. She doesn't raise alpacas, though, Gary. I don't know why you would say that. That's weird. All right. Well, thank you for calling, Quimby. I appreciate it. Thank you, guys. Have a good day. Love you, too. Mikey Show. Hello. Hey, Mikey. This is P1 Matt. What's up? Hey, I just picked up a new raccoon costume. I'm just wondering, when is the next furry meeting? Sean, can you tell us he's got a new costume? I don't know anything about that stuff anymore, Mike. He doesn't know anything about that. So you're not gay anymore? Wait a minute, Eddie. He was at one time. He was happy. He was happy. Thank you for the call. There's nothing wrong with being gay if you are gay. All right. That's true. Gay stands for gladly applying yourself. That does not stand. I don't think it does. It doesn't stand as bad as I understand it. It is not that. Mikey Show, last call. Bring us home. Yeah, I was calling to see if you guys could do a cheater's hotel soon. That's the first call we had requesting a cheater's hotel. Do you think somebody's cheating on you? No.

4:16:17Oh, you just offended her, Mike. How dare you? I'm really sorry. I'm saying it to Embassy Suites. You want to come cheat with me? We love your show. We just snooped back from Lake Havasu City. We're back in lovely San Diego. Love you guys. Listen to you online out there. Yeah, I thought Lake Havasu was like an hour away or something. No, it's like five hours away. Shut up. Bye. Wait a second. She said... You are the one that said it. What about your voice? Shut up. Coming up next, the lovely and talented Missy is up next. Enjoy. Today on the show, she has a little something that we like to call lost and found on the nooner. It's pretty nice. I think Hollywood Square has went over pretty well. Get your tickets for the comedy show Saturday night at Ticketmaster. Fourth at B. It'll be me and Craig Gass, Christopher Walken. Tracy Morgan, Adam Sandler, Sam Kinison. I know he's been dead for 20 years, but trust me, he'll be there. And the show is not for the easily offended. There will be some physical violence. There will not be. All right, we will see you tomorrow morning at 5.30. The Mikey Show's out late.